synthneon | oceanview (different path) || ❝ lost in mist for days and days, now you see the sunny seas. ❞

[ Her breath catches in her throat as he finally turns around. The beard and longer hair are new, but it's definitely him. It really is Alan Wake. He's older, but, the eyes are the same. Those gray eyes that can become light or dark depending on his mood.

« Something tells me it wasn't that Estevez wasn't doing it right. »

Her gaze drifts down once more as it's obvious that Alan doesn't recongize her. Nothing in his face or his gaze has the spark of realization. Especially as he continues by saying the Director wasn't who he had been with. His voice snaps and she visibly startles at sudden jump in tone.

That feeling in her chest increases. Her shoulders drop.

« He really doesn't recongize us. » ]

Jesse Faden is the Director. She was here in 2010. Not only that, but she was with you. We thought that's how you could contact her about Hartman. Because of that bond.

[ « I guess not. » ]

She took care of him four years ago.

[ Her gaze drifts to the side before looking back at him. ]

We know the event closed when you disappeared into the Lake. You somehow contacted the Director four years ago. We found a manuscript underneath a door in a place called the Oceanview Motel. What happened after you went into the Lake?

[ Alan's expression morphs into one of sheer confusion. It doesn't help that his memories are scattered, but the words he's hearing make no sense at all. ]

Why are you saying that? To get me to trust you or something? I know I wasn't with the Director back then. I- I'm trying to find someone. Yeah. I'm trying to find the Director, but-

[ This time, he scrubs his face with his hands as the confusion in his mind only grows. ]

I don't understand, I- Why doesn't this make sense? Why don't I remember things? I remember Hartman, and I remember... I was desperate. Scared. Trying to reach out to someone, anyone who could hear me.

... When did Jesse Faden become the Director?

[ He rubs his eyes more as if that will help dislodge the memories he can't seem to grab hold of. ]

What happened after I went into the Lake? I think... I think I figured out how the story had to end. All stories have an enemy, don't they? The enemy needed to be stopped. But I didn't know then that the enemy was much bigger than I thought it was. Barbara Jagger, or what was left of her, wasn't the real enemy.

That wasn't the end, even though a part of me wished it was. [ He's not sure if that even answered her question, so he just offers her a half-apologetic look that probably doesn't clear anything up at all. ]

She became the Director in 2019. Nine years after you went missing. [ Her tone softens despite the authority in it. Saying the dates outloud just make her heartache more. Over a decade... ] She was nineteen when things happened in Bright Falls.

I don't say things to get people to trust me, Wake.

[ « If you remembered me, you'd know that. » ]

So, you stopped the Dark Presence in the form of Barbara Jagger. The Lake closed behind you. You were trapped in another dimension for thirteen years, but managed to get messages out.

Now what? Another story? More manuscript pages to hunt down? Agent Anderson and Casey found some by the Lake. You had some on you as well. [ She frowns slightly. ] What exactly is going in between the Dark Presence and you this time?

[ Her hand curls around the charm.

« Telling him that I'm her--the Director, Jesse, won't even matter. It's just the feeling I have. He doesn't recongize me and can't even see the two points as yhe same person. There's no point. » ]

The Bright Falls team has found manuscripts over the years that have come up from the Lake. The Sheriff even had them on record. What is going on, Wake?

Edited 2024-08-30 20:18 (UTC)

2019... Nine years. [ Alan's expression seems to drift as his thoughts try to go back in time, back to 2010 and back to Bright Falls. ] I don't think I asked.

[ He looks at her then as if he's seeing her for the first time, and his gaze seems to focus more as he does. ]

There's something I don't understand about- well, about you.

[ It's more than not understanding. He's completely confused by it, and he's not sure if it's something he should know. ]

What's going on between us now? I'm- I've been trying to write my escape. I've written so much, written so many different things. It doesn't want this. It doesn't want me writing. But...

[ It got out! With my face... ]

I think it wants to bring the Dark Place here.

[ « No, he didn't. Not that I would have been entirely truthful at the start. Being afraid to let him in... then let him go. Not that it mattered in the end for the second one. »

Jesse listens intently to what he says to answer her questions. So, the Dark Presence wants what it's always wanted. It's still trying to get what it wants through Alan. She frowns slightly, but nods to show she's understanding what he's said. ]

I belive you.

[ A crawling sensation makes it's way up her back. She hates being examined or studied still, despite tests she's needed to do for her powers. She feels as if he is looking for something by staring at her the way he does. There is some answer he wants but he won't ask the question to even get the answer.

She finally pulls her hand from her pocket. With one motion she puts the keychain on the table for him to see. The other half of one she gave him a long time ago now. A buck and a doe for Deerfest 2010. ]

[ ...I didn't ask what? How old she was? I didn't ask her who she is. If she's the Director, why hasn't she just said that?

Alan's frown only deepens as he tries to follow the trains of thought his mind is having. But then he looks at her in surprise, as if he didn't think she'd believe anything he said. Or, well, if she did, she'd question him thoroughly before deciding either way. ]

That's it? I just say that, and you believe me? I'm not lying, but I thought...

[ He expected more questioning, given the approach Estevez had.

But he forgets all about that when he sees her pull something from her pocket and places it on the table. He stares at it for a second or two before realization and recognition hit. ]

Deerfest... the keychain. Our keychain. [ He looks away from the keychain and back at her, a questioning look returning to his eyes. ]

Where did you get that? How did you get that? Wait- she was trying to find you. The FBC. But she didn't want to be found either.

[ His hands clench into fists once more. ]

What did you do? [ He pauses. ] Who are you?

Edited 2024-08-31 19:27 (UTC)

This is our job. We investigate things like this. Try to learn what we can to detect these things and, if we can't prevent it, then at least try to be there to help the local population with the after effects.

[ « Try to be more humane than what Trench had the Buearu be. Not that he needs to know that. It wouldn't matter if he doesn't remember me. »

She watches him closely for the reaction to the keychain. Maybe it will help him click the pieces there. Maybe he'll finally realize that she's the one he had been looking for. That the Director Jesse Faden is the woman he wants.

He begins to speak and the hopes quickly crumble.

« ... I shouldn't be surprised. Reunions don't work how I hope. I should have KNOWN better. After Dylan, why would... »

The protective wall lowers just enough to see the upset in her eyes.

« ...but it's Alan... »]

Alan...

[ As if on queue, the door behind them opens. The Ranger Captain steps in, his hand on the door to wedge it open. Jesse turns to look at the man. A knowing look is in the old pilot's gaze before giving a noncommittal shrug. ]

"Sorry to interrupt, but Estevez needs you. She's got a lead on something."

[ Jesse glances to the side before inhaling and placing everything properly behind the walla she's constructed. Walls that Alan has always been good at pulling down. ]

Alright... Wake can speak with you when he's calmed down and ready to talk again.

[ The Ranger Captain nods. ] "You got it, Faden. Miss Director." [ He steps out of the way and allows for Jesse to pass by without another word. Then, he looks over at Alan and shrugs once more. ] "I'll be outside if you need anything, Wake. Just knock."

That doesn't answer the question. So you investigate things like this... the weird things that no one can explain, right? I get that, but what I don't get is... investigating doesn't mean believing, unless you already decided you believed me before you even walked in here.

[ Maybe he's being too skeptical, but something tells him he's not. ]

... The after effects. [ Names start forming in Alan's mind unbidden. ] After effects like Stucky and Rose? Rusty? Emma Sloan? And what about Bright Falls?

[ It might look fine, but there's an undercurrent of something. Maybe that something's always been there, or maybe it was accentuated by Alan. Because of Alan.

But he doesn't have time to think more about that, because the door opens, and the Ranger Captain walks inside. Alan also turns to look at him, but as far as he knows, he's just another person that's attached to the Bureau.

But before he knows it, Jesse is moving and walking away from him, leaving the room. The words she exchanges with the ranger don't seem important, because it's the fact that she's leaving that's struck a chord with Alan. She leaves, and the ranger says something about being outside if he needs anything, and then they're both gone.

Alan just stands there, hand slightly outstretched, although he doesn't remember moving to complete that action.

Wait...

The request for Jesse to wait never formed, and he never spoke it out loud, and now it's too late. Why?

He stares down at the keychain that she left behind, and he realizes that he didn't want her to go.

Faden. Miss Director. That's what the Ranger Captain called her.

Is it...? Is she who I've been trying to find? How could I have forgotten about her?

He realizes suddenly that he's standing up, and he doesn't remember doing that, but he suddenly and rather abruptly drops into the chair near the table, and he grabs the keychain, folding his fingers around it as if he never wants to let it go.

What the hell do I do now?

If the Ranger Captain happens to peer in again, he'll just see Alan sitting down, head in his hands, and the keychain clenched firmly in one of them. ]

[ Jesse hears the door close behind her. She can tell there isn't something that Estevez really needs. Her right hand man had bailed her out of a situation that was going to compromise things. A situation going out of control that needed to be salvaged. She glances behind her and the Ranger nods.

Jesse keeps moving. Walking. Her pace picks up. She's quickly walking to the room considered hers. She walks to the bed and simply sits down. Her hands are shaking. Trembling.

She inhales.

A moment later the door opens.

She looks up to see Estevez standing there.

The door closes.

Estevez takes a seat in the chair across the bed. Hands sit in her lap. A gesture is made.

« Right.... the whole story from 2010. She needs to know it. » ]

"How about we go back to thr start? And, no, it's not an interview. I don't have the authority to do that. But, I need to know, Jesse. I have people counting on me... and you do too."

[ « Stay with Alan. Okay? »

Meanwhile, the Ranger Captain steps back into the room with Alan. He closes the door behind him. Then, he crosses his arms and waits. ]

[ Alan doesn't move when he hears the door open and hears the footsteps entering. They don't belong to the woman who left; the tread is too heavy for that. He wonders what he wants. What do any of them want?

The woman that just left doesn't look familiar or even feel familiar, but she had the keychain. How could she have that, unless she always had it? That keychain was theirs, their way of representing their connection.

How could I just forget we had a connection? Was that in the story? Did I put that in? I don't know where my part of the keychain is.

Alan's grip on his head tightens and he feels pressure behind his eyes and in his head starting to build as he tries to make sense of this. It doesn't matter that he's being watched. It doesn't matter that the Ranger Captain is probably observing him and thinking he's a nutcase.

Why don't I know what I'm supposed to do next? Didn't she say that they found manuscript pages? Maybe the answer is on those, if they'll let me see them.

Slowly, Alan's fingers loosen and pull away from his head, but he still doesn't look up at the other man in the room with him. ]

[ Ranger Captain Steve Mitchell simply watches Alan. Not like a hawk or a man on guard. More akin to someone who has seen something similar too many times before. Not everyone can handle going from threshold to threshold. Not every Astralnaut can handle the intensity of visiting the Astral Plane.

There's no documentation on someone in another dimension for thirteen years and coming back.

There's no knowledge of what happens to the mind after that long.

Steve looks down at Alan and tilts his head. The man will ask a question eventually. He can't lead the man on or suggest questions. It has to come naturally from the missing writer. ]

[ Somehow, Steve's presence makes Alan feel like he's being scrutinized. Examined and assessed.

He's not sure if he likes that feeling.

But whether he does or not, it doesn't seem to matter. The FBC wants answers, and they seem determined to get them from him. It's just a matter of time and whether or not he can cooperate.

What will they do if I don't work with them? I know I wanted to find them because they might be the only people who can help, but... I don't think I have a choice. I don't think I can do this alone anymore.

For another second or two, Alan's gaze remains staring down at the surface of the table, but slowly, his head raises until he's looking at Steve. Part of him wants to recoil, and another part wants to hide, but he can't do that, can he? ]

S- sorry they stuck you in here like this. Watching a nutcase probably isn't at the top of your priorities.

"I've seen my fair share of this shit break people, Wake. You shouldn't have my job if you're not prepared for it." [ Steve non-chalantly answers. ] "You're not the first and you won't be the last."

[ He can recall seeing how the Hiss Invasion rattled so many of his squad mates. Other Rangers. Other members of the Buearu. How having to put down someone they just called friend less than twelve hours before hand twisted them. He can recall how seeing some Rangers couldn't handle coming back through thresholds. How some never came back as themselves.

He refused to leave Faden's side--as long as something didn't keep him from it--since he saw her clean out the Atlas Chamber. Her and that resonance that followed her cleaned through the Oldest House. He knows it taxed her. He knows the secrets she found haunted her on some level. Especially when she had found her lost brother.

Especially when she had to navigate through what Investigations had done to Hartman. What the man did to himself. What Investigations found. He imagines, though, that's the Director's story to tell.

He instead decides to let Alan set the pace and questions. ]

You have, huh? And how are you defining "this shit"?

[ How Steve answers that will be telling. Of course, he heard the explanation that it's the FBC's job to keep track of insane things like this, but that doesn't tell Alan what he needs to know. Alan knows that he's being a skeptic, maybe more skeptical than he has any right to be, but a part of him can't help it.

In all honesty, Alan's surprised he hasn't come apart at the seams more than he has. Even so, if Steve is expecting him to set the pace, or set anything at all, well- they might be here a long time.

Other than those questions, Alan's just drawing a blank. If they want him to make decisions, if they want him to direct this anywhere... He's not sure he can do that. ]

Look, I- What do you want? I know what the agent from before said, and I know she was really not happy with me, but...

[ He shakes his head, and after a second's pause, there's a thud as his fist connects with the table, a flash of that old temper resurfacing. ]

Maybe she had it right. Maybe you should just make this an interrogation and get it over with.

"What we call Altered World Events. When realities brush up against each other and cause a mess. What happened in 2010. What's apparently happening now. Every event is different even if it involves the same people and the same otherworldly entity."

[ An unimpressed raise of his eyebrows. ] The Buearu wants your co-operation and help in putting an end to the AWE. They want to know what's going on, why, how, and what they need to do to stop it. They want to know why you're involved, how you're involved, and if you can be trusted.

As for Faden? I think she wants something else. She's waited what sounds like a long time for this--you being back.

Altered World Events. [ Alan repeats the phrase, trying to digest it and whatever it means. ] So that's what you call all these crazy things that shouldn't happen and shouldn't be able to turn people into monsters and- Got it. Kind of.

What if, when I tell the Bureau what I'm doing and what they might be able to help with, they decide that they don't want to help? That they don't like what I've had to do to get here... that they don't like what I might have to do to actually stop the Dark Presence? Because yeah, it's not stopped. It's still out there, obviously.

[ There's no attitude behind that last statement, just an acknowledgment that the Dark Presence is still a huge threat. The biggest threat, even. ]

Faden. Faden... [ He repeats the name, feeling the smallest nudge at his mind, as if something is telling him he should know that name and why she's important. The keychain tried to wake up something in his mind, but he still doesn't know what that is. ]

Why isn't anyone saying who she is? Is she the Director? Why the secrecy there, unless it's to protect her?

[ She's waited what sounds like a long time for this--you being back.

Alan's hand curls around the keychain again. But why? What's she been waiting for? Could it be that- No, that's crazy, right? ]

She said that the Director was here with me in 2010, but I know I didn't meet the Director then. Unless... did I meet the Director and didn't know it? Is that what she was trying to say?

[ A nod to his understanding, at basic level, of what is going on. ] "The Event is when the two realities bump and collide. Any person or item in it can be altered. Certain people end up changed, or already had something unique to them that makes it come out. People like Faden.

Honestly? Estevez will handle it how she will and ask Faden for back up. We're here to help her team stop the AWE. If whatever you're going to do puts more people in danger? They'll detain you."

[ Steve watches how Alan processed the name. Tried to put the pieces together. He can't see why the dots aren't lining up. A sigh leaves him before he pushes from the door. He opens the manilla folder he has on him and pulls out a picture. He placed it in front of Alan.

A red headed young girl standing with Rose Merrigold and a few others outside the Oh Deer Diner. A banner for the 68th Deerfest--2010. In the window a familiar cut out of the famous author Alan Wake can be seen. ]

"Jesse Faden IS the Director of the Federal Bureau of Control. She wasn't in 2010 when you were here. She became Director four years ago. She said the two of you were close... and she kept half of a keychain she gave you." [ Steve glances at him. ] "You've been in another dimension for thirteen years. We don't know how your mind is. She probably didn't want to cause a cognitive collapse... not to mention Faden is just a private person. She is probably hoping for a reunion you'd expect after thirteen years."

[ Alan's doing his best to make mental notes of this; maybe he won't remember, or maybe the Dark Presence will find a way to pull the memories out of his mind, but he wants to remember this. He wants to remember everything, but that seems to be more of a tall order. ] So that's what's happening now, and it happened in 2010. And probably more times than that, but the average person wouldn't know that, right?

Just- just trying to make sure I'm following.

[ Alan's expression darkens slightly, but he doesn't react more than that. ]

Maybe you should. But maybe the Dark Presence is bigger than all of you. Maybe... [ Something seems to click in his mind, finally. Maybe no one else could force him to realize it; maybe he needed to realize it on his own, and now that he has, he realizes how stupid he's been. ] Maybe I do need to work together with you, if you'll still have me. Or interrogate me. Whatever.

[ He's really given them no reason to want to work with him, after all. He probably deserves to be detained, with the key thrown away.

Steve places the photograph in front of him, and Alan's gaze zeroes in on it almost immediately.

He jerks back from it as if something about it burned him, but that's not it. That's not why he's suddenly clutching his head again. A switch flipped in his mind, and the memories that have been blocked or repressed or whatever it is are coming flooding back.

Steve's words register in his mind even as he holds his head and stares at the picture. It takes a few tries for Alan to be able to speak, and when he does, his voice sounds strangled, but the words are clear enough: ]

Jesse... I remember. I remember telling her- promising her I wouldn't forget. [ Fingers curl tighter against his head and his eyes squeeze shut. ] Why did I forget?

[ He shakes his head and his eyes slide open again, but he doesn't look at Steve, choosing instead to stare at the picture. ] She probably doesn't even want to see me now that I forgot. Some reunion.

"Yeah. We operate under the table for a reason. You have an idea on how normal people would react to this."

[ Steve allows him to have the reactions. Letting him process everything. Things seem to click one after another. No nod is given, no look of understanding. Simply an old soldier assessing the situation. Memories are still there, it's just a jumbled mess. It tracks with other cases coming back from thresholds.

A half-shrug. ] "Working with us is something the Director and then Estevez will need to ultimately decide. You good if I take you to her? Or, you want to wait on that?"

[ He knows that Jesse and Alan are going to need to talk again. They'll need to sort this out so they can move forward. This is bigger than their relationship, but it's clear to the Ranger Captain that the relationship is a core piece of what's going on it was an element of 2010, and here they are again. ]

Edited 2024-09-03 00:10 (UTC)

Yeah, I get it now. It's enough to make your head spin, or worse. [ He huffs out a humorless laugh. ] I'd say that people can't handle the truth, but there's times that I don't know if I can handle it, and- well.

[ He's not sure if he'd call this a cognitive collapse or whatever term Steve used earlier, but his mind is reeling. If he was standing up, he'd be reeling too. He already has a little sensory overload happening, and adding in the realization that Jesse is the Director, that she's been waiting for him, is only contributing to the mental overload in his mind.

But still, he can't completely go to pieces, can he? He forces himself to look away from the picture, although he reaches for it, taking hold of it carefully. Something inside him clenches, and then aches, as if a strong longing to actually see the woman in the photograph is taking hold. Maybe that longing was always there and now it's intensified. ]

... Yeah. Yeah, I'm good if you- I want to see her.

[ Steve assesses him one last time. He's not sure if Alan won't fall on his face the moment he stands up. After he sees that Alan is more or less put together? He pulls out his cell phone and begins typing. A moment later he nods and pockets the phone. ]

"Alright. Time to go. Make sure you grab that." [ Steve gestures to the keychain.

He leads Alan out of the room, but stands next to him the whole time. An escort. Other FBC agents raise their heads and eye the pair before looking at one another then going back to their work. They move up a flight of stairs, turn down another wooden hallway, then stop at a door.

Steve raises his hand and knocks on the door. He waits, then nods, and opens it. He peeks in side. ]

"Wake's ready." [ Then, he nods. ] "Looks like you're up, Wake."

[ Steve steps aside, opening the door for Alan. A nod for him to enter.

Jesse sits on the arm of the chair that Estevez had once sat in. Her hands are in her lap and eyes cast down to the floor. Then, shoulders square. Walls go in place. She raises her green eyes that almost seem to shimmer with light. They land on Alan Wake as he comes into the room and the door closes behind him. ]

[ Honestly, Alan's not too sure he won't fall on his face either. He pushes himself slowly up from the table, keeping one hand on it at first, then slowly letting go. He feels a little unsteady but at least the ground isn't rushing up to meet him.

He grabs the keychain, not wanting to leave it behind, and he checks to make sure the photograph is still in his hand.

Alan follows alongside Steve as they go up the stairs, down a hallway that feels like it goes on forever, until they stop at a door. Alan's surprised he managed the walk without too much trouble, only stumbling a few times on the way.

Once they reach the door, Alan feels his nerves start to rise, and he pinches the inside of his wrist in an attempt to distract himself. Stay calm... ]

Okay. Thanks, uh- thanks for the help.

[ He nods back at him and then he steps inside. At first, he just looks at the floor, keychain and the photograph held tightly in both hands. But there's a force drawing him into the room, pulling him in, and he just follows that pull.

The door closes behind him but he just stands there just inside it, wanting to get closer but hesitating too. He wants to close the gap, maybe even go in for a hug, but can he do that? Does he have the right to?

Their first sight of each other didn't go well, and that's putting it mildly. He didn't even remember it was her. What if she hates him because of it? He's so lost in thought about what he should do that he doesn't even notice it when that unsteady feeling creeps back up on him and he brace himself with a hand on the door frame. Once he's steadied himself, he finally lets his gaze travel up to meet hers, and then he finds he just can't look away. ]

[ « Now what? »

Steve had mentioned in the text that it seemed like some of Alan's memories had slid into place. She knows it's to be expected. Still, that part of her that's always remained the girl from Ordinary had hoped that they would be more powerful than otherworldly entities. Like something out of a story. Maybe because Alan kept writing himself into so many of them.

« It's been thirteen years. I've changed... he's changed. Maybe holding onto this was pointless in the end. What if it doesn't matter anymore? What if we're too different now? Have I changed too much for him to even see that I'm still ... me? »

She doesn't hate him.

She's hurt.

« He probably can't read me like he could before. I have so many walls now, and lowering them earlier... it probably doesn't matter now. I'm probably just Jesse Faden the Director that he sent messages to... not the paranoid scared girl he met in Bright Falls. »

Jesse's eyes dart quickly to the side.

« Even Dylan could still see me.

Shit. I'm going to have to say something, aren't I? Damn it. » ]

Steve said you were ready to talk now.

[ « Neutral's okay. Right? I mean, if he wanted to acknowledge anything or do anything... he'd do it. At least, he would before. » ]

[ Unwittingly, Alan's thoughts are echoing Jesse's in this exact moment.

What do I do now?

How do I even talk to her? What if- what if she's given up? I know she wouldn't use me like that, but what if the keychain and the picture was just something to get me to talk?

No, that's not it. I can get her to change her mind. I have to try, even though I know she's upset. Look at her. She probably doesn't even want to be in the same room as me, not after what happened earlier.

Damn it, I'm not giving up now. ]

... Hi. [ That's it? That's ridiculous. ] Look, I- That didn't go well back there, and that's my fault, but I needed to work through some things. I still need to work through some things, but...

[ He holds up the keychain and the picture. ]

It's probably too late, and if it is, I get it, but- I remember now. At least, more than I did before.

[ Part of her had wanted to tell him what it had been like waiting. What happened to her and her life. Finding the Bureau, finally, after all those years. The Hiss Invasion. Finding Dylan. Truly connecting with Polaris. Finding all the documents in the Oldest House about him, Bright Falls, and how they were both in the Prime Candidate Program. Finding Hartman and putting him down even though the monster recognized him. How it felt to feel finally connected to Alan again after so long only to have the connection cut the moment Hartman died.

Seeing how he had no idea who she was quickly dashed all of those hopes.

Now, she's not sure he could even handle half the things she wanted to tell him.

« He's not fragile... but he's not exactly stable either. Does he really remember me? Us? Or, does he just think he does cause he has a picture? »

Green eyes that seem to glow with that shimmer fall down to the items in his hands.

« ... he lost his keychain. Didn't he? I knew it meant more to me than him, but... »

It stings in a way it shouldn't. ]

Hi. [ Her voice is smaller than she'd like, more inward and protected. ] What exactly do you remember?

OCEANVIEW :: INTO THE DARK

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