ᴊᴇssᴇ ғᴀᴅᴇɴ | ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᶦʳᵉᶜᵗᵒʳ. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
outlierdirector) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
synthneon2024-08-28 05:28 pm
outlierdirector) wrote in synthneon2024-08-28 05:28 pm
oceanview (different path) || ❝ lost in mist for days and days, now you see the sunny seas. ❞
I'm fighting to save my love somehow
I cannot feel her by my side
Even in this place inside my mind
no subject
[ Just because he's having trouble remembering everything that he did and said and promised doesn't mean he's lost the ability to be perceptive.
I love her. I know I do. It's not just a feeling, not something that I made myself believe. I really love her. It's just connecting the dots again and bringing what I know and what I feel together. ]
Your friend. The... the guiding star. She's still with you. [ He knows that, because he felt her, or heard her, or whatever the best way of describing that is. It reassures him to know that Jesse's not alone. ]
Right. "Departure". I remember trying to follow the story, to change the ending. You were helping me with that.
[ An image pops into his head, combined with a feeling... a feeling of holding her as they kiss. As they lie next to each other. His gaze snaps to hers as his gray eyes try to meet hers so he can see them. Drown in them.
Except he can't drown; he has to focus and figure out what his next steps are. ]
It sounds easy when you put it like that. The Dark Presence kills. It'll hunt everyone down and use them, or kill them if it can't use them. I can't ask you or the Bureau for help, because that puts all of you in danger.
I know that's what it wants, and it's not going to stop until it gets it. It doesn't care who gets in the way, or who just happens to be there. It'll target all of you and everyone in Bright Falls. It's already happened once; I don't want it to happen again. Maybe if you just give me a gun and a flashlight, I can lure it away from here.
That way, I can figure out how to stop it and no one else has to get hurt.
[ He realizes what she's just said, about being his firepower, and this time, he snaps to attention. He crosses over to where she's standing before he's even aware of moving, and without even thinking about it, he puts his arms around her. ]
No. I won't do that to you. I won't ask you to do that.
[ He hesitates for a fraction of a second before he pulls her in close for a hug. ]
no subject
[ The outstretched trembling hand puts the manuscript pages to the side. Then, she flexes her hand. A sense of power can be felt in the room. Polaris's hum gently fills quiet places. The intention was to tell him all about Polaris. Everything she had learned about her friend, Hedron, the Bureau, the Hiss. Now she doesn't see the point in it. Not when he barely remembers her or their screwed up relationship. The details wouldn't matter. ]
She's always with me now. We can't separate. [ Jesse figures that's the best way to put it for now. She could throw everything behind the cheap excuse of "classified." Except for the fact it's a cheap answer and she knows Alan won't take it. ] So...anywhere in this building you're going to sense her. Any time you're around me you're going to sense her more than you did before.
[ Her gaze keeps away from his. A particular flash of emotion crosses her face at the mention of her helping with "Departure." She's not sure she really helped at all. Not that it's the time to go over any of it or fill in the gaps. There's more important things going on. ]
You changed the ending of "Departure" on your own. [ She knows the hurt can't entirely be kept from her voice. ] You did whatever you did--diving into the Lake--and that stopped it.
[ Jesse had every intention of slipping back behind her role as the Director from this point on. Be the position Alan was looking for to stop the Dark Presence. After all, that's why he reached out to her in the Oldest House, despite what she wanted to tell herself. How is calling her back to Bright Falls any different? Show up, take care of the spooky dimensional monster, then he leaves to go hunt it down again.
"Maybe if you just give me a gun and a flashlight, I can lure it away from here."
Green eyes that seem to be glow with something else immediately snap to his. The mantle of the Director disappears. A wall comes down, leaving her with the expression as if he's just thrown something at her. He may have forgotten what happened, but Jesse remembers it perfectly clear. The Well-Lit Room. The insisting she go with him to finish it and save his ex-wife, while he insisted he had to do it alone. That he'd come back. He couldn't take her along because she'd just get hurt or even worse and he couldn't handle it if she did.
She stares him down as his arms wrap around her. He pulls her close. Her lip trembles. Whatever is listening she thanks that he can't see the expression on her face. He can feel her shoulders tremble and how her hands shake so badly she couldn't shove him away even if she wanted. ]
You already did. [ She shuts her eyes tightly in hopes that she can at least keep the water she feels gathering in her eyes. The rest has already fallen out of her control. Alan Wake has always been able to do that. ] You told me Hartman needed to be stopped. He was ripping apart the Bureau. You pointed me in the direction and told me to stop him and I DID. Because YOU asked me to do it. Because Hartman was OUR mess to clean up.
[ After a moment, her head lowers. Forehead gently rests against his shoulder in case he had thought about releasing her from his embrace. She's not going to let him decide anything else without her input or her say. This story, them, working with the Bureau. He doesn't get to decide it all on his own anymore. ]
...don't you dare think about taking a flashlight, a gun, and luring it away on your own. You don't get to even imply it. [ She feels her shoulders curl and her voice break. ] You don't get to call me out here to help you stop it halfway then... no! You don't get the right to make that choice! I won't let you!
[ Then, her voice drops once more. ] I'm not being left behind. Again.
no subject
[ He looks down at his hands for a second before looking back up at her, and there's a sudden flash of resolve in his eyes. ] If you say the Bureau can help, well- I know that I can trust you, so... I'll cooperate.
[ He's willing to cooperate because now he knows that she's involved, and the connection they have is what makes him want to trust her and work with her. ]
Always? You can't separate...? [ He looks momentarily confused; his only frame of reference, aside from her and Polaris, is the Dark Presence and how it consumes people, but Jesse hasn't been consumed. She's not mindlessly repeating words like the Taken do. ] That's a good thing, isn't it? [ He asks, needing the confirmation. ]
I barely remember what I did, though. That feels like a lifetime ago now.
[ That's another thing that's bothering him about all this; how is he supposed to fix this if he barely knows what he's supposed to do? How can he find a version of the story that fixes everything if he doesn't even know what his next move is? He really could use some inspiration right now, but it seems as though inspiration has turned its back on him.
He finally manages to do what's been lurking in the back of his mind and give her a hug, but then he immediately wonders if he did the wrong thing once she starts speaking again. He can hear the emotion in her voice even if he can't see the look on her face. ]
But you're not just firepower. You're not just a weapon. [ There's a lengthy pause and a brief struggle seems to play itself out on Alan's face. ] You're Jesse. You're Jesse, and I care about you, even if this stupid story is getting in the way of that.
[ Her continued words wash over him, some of them landing like a ton of bricks, but in the end, he has to admit she's right. The only problem is, he doesn't know what he's supposed to do if he doesn't go off on his own to lure out the Dark Presence. ]
If I don't do that, then- what should I do? I don't want to leave you, and I don't want to go off alone, but what the hell am I supposed to do? No, don't answer that.
[ It's not something she can help with, is it? He has to figure out what he's going to do, but maybe she can offer some suggestions, if nothing else. ]
no subject
[ She glances to the side. ] It's a "good thing" from our point of view. Without her? The Hiss would have won. Though, I'm sure you'd find people who would say it's just as bad. Not that it matters either way. I think she had this planned since we met in the slide. She helps keep what we think are bad things out. She brought me here in 2010 to help you keep the Dark Presence out. So... [ her hands raise and gestures to herself, ] here we are again.
[ Her head turns further into his shoulder. He says he cares and she isn't sure how much he does. She can't tell if he's fully unearthed the emotion he had for her once. Or, if it's some sort of lingering ghost that he might never fully recapture. ]
Maybe not a weapon, but, I can fight these things. Stop them. [ Jesse curls slightly against him. ] You work with us and stop trying to be a lone hero.
[ A lengthy pause fills the room. Then, her trembling hands raise. They curl in the back of the flannel he wears. Jesse can remember the last time they reunited. He was wearing the same flannel. Now, he's older. His hair is longer. He has a beard. Even then she can tell one thing. It's Alan. Alan Wake. The man that she let in and trusted ... the first person she ever really did trust after Ordinary.
« Would I have learned to trust the people in the Bureau without him? »
Jesse presses her face further into his shoulder. He weight leans against his for a moment. ]
You're back... you're home. You're actually home.
no subject
Or maybe you should stop thinking about what you can't do and focus more on what you can. And while you're at it, give her something to work with. She's here because you asked her to be. You need to give her something now.
He startles when that thought enters his mind; where did it come from? Was it some internal voice from himself trying to give him directions? There wasn't anything familiar about the voice, at least not as far as he could tell, but... it didn't just come from nowhere. It's something he files away to try and make sense of later. Right now, he just wants to focus on Jesse. ]
...Okay. I'll try and tell you all what I know. What I've found out. Maybe we can end this.
[ His tone doesn't sound that convincing and he knows it, but all he can see is the threat that the Dark Presence represents; he's just a man with a typewriter or a pen. Even his supposed abilities don't seem that significant at times. ]
So you really are important. You've always been important. Why didn't I make you the hero, then? You and your friend could stop all this. Maybe you're the key; hell, maybe you and Anderson are the key, and I'm just the person who brings the Dark Presence out so you two can put it down.
Maybe that's it! Maybe that's what I need to remember for... [ His words trail off into silence; how he was going to end that sentence was there in his mind one second and gone the next, as if something derailed it before he could even start. Why?
But no amount of thinking brings it back, so he sets it aside for now. ]
Either way, I think you and your friend and maybe even Anderson are the key here. You're who I need to try and fix this.
[ Suddenly, though, almost as soon as it started, Alan's burst of energy seems to drain away and he's left with a sudden tiredness. When she turns her head into his shoulder, his hold on her tightens and he leans more into their embrace as if seeking the comfort it offers. ]
You can fight them and survive. You've done it before. Maybe... maybe I can help with that. Somehow. [ He pauses briefly. ] All right, I decided. I'll work with you, for as long as you'll have me.
[ He suddenly registers the feel of her hands curling into the back of his flannel shirt. Where did that come from? Someone from the Bureau gave it to him, and it somehow fit as if it was made for him. It's comforting in a strange sort of way, just as Jesse's presence is comforting, but it's not strange at all to him, even with his scattered, sketchy memories.
I love her. I know I barely remember her, but I have this feeling that I love her. Does she love me? She must, if she came when I called. She said that, so it must be true.
She leans more of herself against him, and his arms curl further around her in what he hopes is a loving, comforting gesture. ]
I came back, because of you. I came back for you.
[ And there's no doubt in his mind that that's the absolute truth. ]
no subject
[ « With no memories he has no reason to trust me. Even knowing that he's willing to try. That means a lot. » ]
The more we know the more we can find a way to fight against it. Even if we can't destroy it we can at least be prepared.
[ A frown tugs on her face. ] I'm not sure Polaris counters the Dark Presence the same way she does the Hiss. More like... she can help "boost" what already does. Theoretically. You said the Hiss and the Dark Presence worked together to change Hartman.
[ « So, you need a Light Presence? Does that even exist? It has to... doesn't it? "If one then why not two?" Or, something like that. Alan said it on the Hotline.
"Remember for?" For what? » ]
You fought the Dark Presence before. I learned how to from you.
[ He was the one that taught her light and bullets. The flashlights, lanterns, work lamps. All of them worked.
She remembers a manuscript page about the flannel. It was good memories--filled with light--from a better time with Alice. Memories to wrap himself in and fight the darkness. He may never have seen that she read those pages. Part of her always felt as if she inserted herself into his life, even if he technically wrote her into the story. Reading that page and seeing "Sunrise" all but confirmed in her mind she had stepped between Alan and Alice regardless of the divorce.
The flannel is good memories. Memories she wished to have with him too. Something that could make him smile in the dark when they were apart. Happiness to draw on while he used the keychain to find her.
« Those are his memories with Alice. Memories that actually made him happy. Nothing from our time together was probably happy enough to remember. There'd be no reason for him to keep ahold of the keychain. Deerfest is bad memories. How he met both of us are bad memories. Nothing good was from it. Why would he want to remember it? »
Her face scrunches up as tears perk her eyelids. ]
Because of me? Or because the Dark Presence got out again?
no subject
Okay. Whenever you want me to do it, I'll tell you what I know. I'm guessing Estevez will want to be there for that.
[ He figures the least he can do is live with that; he's not the one calling the shots here. ]
But she can help, just like you can. The Dark Presence wants to get out and take over everything that it can, and it won't be good when it does. I don't really know a lot about how Polaris works, but compared to what the Dark Presence does to people, I think I'd choose Polaris every time.
And I learned how from someone else... someone else who isn't from our world, our reality. I wouldn't know how to do anything if he hadn't shown me.
[ His words trail off as he observes a shift in Jesse's demeanor. She seems far away, lost in thought, and he wonders what's on her mind. Gradually, his expression turns more worried the longer the silence between them seems to drag on. Maybe it's only been seconds at best, but it feels like a lot longer to Alan. ]
Yes, because of you. I made promises to you and I had to keep them. I have to keep them. I'm here because of you.
[ Needing to deal with the Dark Presence once and for all is important, but coming back for Jesse is even more important in Alan's mind. ]
no subject
« There's so much we don't know. » ]
Kiran will want to be involved. Especially since any research that's been conducted is out of commission. I guess you can put it that way.
[ The Reaearch team has gone dark. The Lake House has gone dark. Something tells her that the statement is more accurate than she might really know. ]
Polaris... think of her like a frequency you can tune into. She is going to be there in the background. Until she wants to spread herself further into more spaces. It's harmonious. Ambient. Nothing about her is invasive. You have to agree to her frequency and presence.
And, somehow, she interacts with the Light.
[ Her head tilts slightly. ] Who did you learn from?
[ Jesse's hands curl further into the flannel shirt he wears. It's not the same shirt, but, the similarities are definitely there enough to make her wonder on how close this story is to the one he tried to write in Arizona all those years ago. ]
Do you remember what those promises were?
no subject
It also makes her someone he has to protect.
He nods slowly as she continues talking; of course Estevez will want to be involved, as it seems she's been overseeing matters here for some time now. Of course she'll have a lot of questions for him, given how badly her first attempt at questioning him went. It's not something he's looking forward to, but he already said he'd cooperate, and he intends to do just that. ]
Well, she sounds a lot better than what the Dark Presence does, anyway. As far as I'm concerned, she's someone to keep around. Not that she's going anywhere or that it's up to me.
[ He quiets again for a moment or two, trying to think back to his first meeting with... Who was it? I remember hearing a voice, and it belonged to someone who was trying to help me. Why don't I remember? ]
It was... someone in a diver's suit, but we weren't near the water. I think... I think it wasn't just a person in a diver's suit.
[ At her next question, Alan just looks down. ]
I know the memories are there, and I know I made promises to you, but- [ He wants to hit himself in the head, as if that would dislodge the memories that seem to be hidden from him. ]
Did I promise that I'd come back? That I... wouldn't forget you? I guess I didn't keep that one, did I?
[ Now he finds he can't look her in the eyes. ]
no subject
« It's just, thirteen years ago, it felt like there was more emotion in it. More personal interest... now it's like checking it against a fact sheet. This is what people must feel like talking to me. »
Her head tilts down further and her face presses into the space where his shoulder and neck meet. Just a few more moments this way. Then, she will need to be the Director again. They'll need to interview him properly. They need more information on how the Dark Presence works. The nature of this story. She'll need to read all that they have of the manuscript.
« Even if it's us thats missing and never coming back. The people of Bright Falls are the important ones right now.
It just feels like... I've lost him. That the Alan Wake I know is never coming home... would he still feel the same way now? Would he just always see the Director and not me? Or you? »
If the Alan Wake she knew is really gone... then she wants the charm back. She'll need to say her goodbyes to that part of her life in her own way. Give the charm to the Bureau for study as an Altered Item.
Even if it continues to break her heart. ]
Something like Polaris. [ Her friend shifts and swirls in confirmation. ] Whatever opposites the Dark Presence, like Polaris does the Hiss.
[ Jesse is glad he can't see the reaction on her face. How her expression falls and eyebrows knit. He really doesn't remember. She truly is a stranger to him and all he has are the facts "written" down somewhere in his mind. She inhales sharply. Hands curl into his flannel.
Then, she carefully locks it all away. Hidden behind walls and locked down where people can't see. She'll handle it after the AWE is over. That comes first now. ]
You're home. That's what matters. [ Her tone shifts from vulnerable to something more neutral--in control. No more letting his words pull emotions from her. Not until it's over. ] We need to go over what we have of the manuscript. Know what you know about it... find a way to end the story and the AWE.
no subject
He can see it in the way she looks at him, just as he can hear it in her voice. It's disappointment and sadness and he thinks if he looks hard enough, he can see her starting to wall herself off. She was opening up to me once, a long time ago now. Now she's closing off again, and it's my fault.
He doesn't pull away from her, just remaining still as she keeps pressing her face in between his shoulder and neck. He's supposed to be comforting her, but he can tell he's only making her more upset.
I know this is wrong. This isn't how this was supposed to go. ]
So... so it's in everyone's best interest if we work together. If you'll let me. [ She probably isn't looking at him, not with how her face is pressed into his shoulder, but a certain look has slid into his eyes. It's equal parts desperation and longing, but sadness too. Why? Because he can't remember things he shouldn't have forgotten. All he has to do is look at her to know that, even if he can't see her face right now. ]
That's not enough, is it? It's not all that matters to you. [ His hands curl against her frame: protectively? Lovingly? He's not sure which. But there's an urgency in the gesture, a wild sort of desperation to reclaim the memories he's seemingly lost. ]
It's not all that matters to me. [ The only problem is, just knowing they're important to each other isn't enough if the emotions and feelings they felt once aren't attached to that knowledge. ]
I want to get it back... All of it. Everything the Dark Presence took from me. I just- I don't know how. [ The admission comes slowly, as if saying those words out loud is the last thing he wanted to do. ]
no subject
She doesn't let go of him. Just because it hasn't gone the way she hoped doesn't mean she is ungrateful that he has come home. He's home. They can end the AWE and figure out the rest later. ]
Of course I'll let you. We worked together before. Why would this be any different? Just... now I have more ways to help.
[ Her hands curl into his shirt further and press against his back. ] It's what we have, and that's better than not having you at all. The rest of it we just need to figure out.
[ « "Everything"? What else did it take from him? » ]
What else did it take?
no subject
Still, it feels like something he's responsible for. ]
Why would this be any different? Because now I barely remember us and what we had before. I barely remember the promises I made you, only that I made them. And what good does that do you now that I can't remember them?
[ He pauses briefly and then he adds: ] I still could use your help. I- I need your help. [ But I'm scared of what might happen to her if she helps me. People who've tried to help have only gotten hurt... Can Polaris protect her from the Dark Presence?
She asks what else it's taken from him, and his expression darkens even as he feels himself lean slightly into her hands pressing against his back. ]
I lost more than just my memories. I forgot what it looks like when the sun's out. There's no sun in the Dark Place. It's always dark there, and cold, even in the room where I did my writing. I forgot what it's like to just sit and talk to someone.
[ He pauses again. ]
And the coffee sucks there. [ His mouth twitches a little and his lips turn up into a slight smile, but there's truth in the joke as well. ] Don't even get me started on the food.
no subject
[ The details are painful. Heartbreaking. Still, when she looks at it objectively? At least he is back. He's finally found a way home. The rest could be worked with in time--right?
« Am I being too optimistic? Not that I've ever really been that way. There has to be something we can do to help once this all over. » ]
When you reached out to Polaris before--in 2010--you didn't know me. You didn't know her. It's just ... that, again. Right? [ She's trying her best to be objective. That's how she has to be. The Director. ] We'll take you outside during sunrise. That'll be a start.
[ Something tells her they have to get through the night first.
Polaris gently shifts and funnels through her hands to try and garner the Writer's attention. Get him to focus on what's needed. Necessary. ]
I'm surprised the FBI Agents didn't do anything to help. With the coffee at least. The Oh Deer Diner was nearby.
no subject
[ He doesn't have to be a mind reader to guess that she's disappointed. Hurt, probably. He promised her things and he didn't keep his promises. He came back, but he's not the "him" she wanted. That has to be upsetting to her. ]
So we start again, is that it? I know that's not what you want, but... [ I don't want her to push me away. I might not remember everything, but I know she's important. She's who I was trying to come home to. ]
Sunrise sounds great. I'd like that.
[ Maybe it's ridiculous of him to want to see the sun again, but he doesn't care of it is. He's had enough of darkness. Part of him doesn't even want to look outside to see how dark it is. Just the thought of being in the dark makes his skin crawl, and the only thing that distracts him from that feeling is Polaris trying to get his attention.
For what? What does she want me to do?
He looks up again and tries to catch her eye, to meet her gaze if she's looking at him. ]
That's not their job, right? Their job is to get information, not get coffee for a suspect.
no subject
[ « It probably won't be the last either. »
She's the stranger--isn't she? Everything she knows about Alan Wake seems to still be true. Everything she remembers is still how he is--minus the long hair and the beard. His confidence also seems to be in shambles. It's been thirteen years. Somethings about him are going to have changed.
« They've changed about us after all. » ]
Is there any other option? Other than just... moving on. [ Her tone conveys that isn't what she wants. ] Okay. Sunrise it is.
[ « Not exactly the coffee breakfast we planned on... but, close enough at this rate. » ]
They could have tried to make you more comfortable.
no subject
Maybe not, but it's still my fault. It's still the fault of the Dark Presence. I let it get in, and I let it ruin... us. But... we'll find it again. We'll find us again.
[ It's a brief flash of determination, but it's one of the first ones Alan's had since coming back. The frustrated response that Kiran had to put up with doesn't count, not in his mind. ]
No, I guess not. But as long as you're willing to... move on... Maybe even try picking up where we- If you want to, anyway. [ There's no "we" in that. I'm the one who left her behind, right? She doesn't owe me anything.
Alan's expression darkens again, as he remembers his interactions with the FBI. They weren't harsh or anything like that, but he's firmly convinced it wasn't their job to make him comfortable. It's deserved, after all. This story is a monster, and he's contributed to it whether he meant to or not. And, well, he can't pretend that he didn't mean to. ]
Maybe, but I didn't expect them to. I don't expect any of you to.
no subject
She can guess and those guesses don't make her any happier. Somehow, the Dark Presence took him over. Not to the extent of the Taken (as Alan called them) or the people possessed by the Hiss. Obviously. He's standing in front of her. But... enough to take his memories? Enough to do what?
Her head finally raises. That determination that may ring a bell in his mind is present, but so is another sort of strength. Not just Polaris. An authority. ]
You let it in? What did it DO?
[ « Shit. Shit. Shit. This is NOT good. Didn't it always want an artist in able to change reality to let it into our world? That's why Zane is such a mystery. He stopped it when it took Jagger's body--if the song from the Old God's of Asgard is accurate. And they've been fighting it for YEARS, allegedly. So what happened when Alan let it get in?
How did it get in? What did he do? Or didn't do? What did IT do? » ]
If you're willing to. It's going to be more complicated now. We're more complicated. With the Buearu, Polaris, the Dark Presence, our abilities...
[ « And now he knows I have abilities. Maybe he already suspected it. He might figure he has his own as well. This is such a mess. None od this was supppsed to go this way. » ]
Then, they suck at knowing how to treat a witness. Or a suspect.
[ « And that's the worst kind of agent in my book. » ]
no subject
... Not on purpose. Why would I let it in on purpose, knowing what it's like? Knowing what it wants.
[ Maybe this is the crux of the matter, the real reason why he feels like the FBI let him off lightly. The FBC seems to be doing the same, more or less. If the Dark Presence gets into their reality and takes over, won't it be his fault? ]
I don't know everything about what it did, but when I... when I woke up, or whatever you want to call it, there were pages I know I didn't write. The Dark Presence took control, it took me over, and it wrote a story I wouldn't have written.
... What if it comes back? What if it controls me again? That's why you and the FBI and any one else shouldn't bother with anything but getting the answers you need. I'll give you the answers, and then-
[ What? Lock me up? That's not going to help if it controls me again. I can't say what will happen then, but I know it won't be good. ]
Of course I'm willing to, but I think it has to be soon. It has to be fast, in case the Dark Presence can overpower me again. Can your abilities delay it long enough for people to escape?
[ He does accept that there are abilities; it boggles his mind, but he can accept it. He can believe it. He can even believe that maybe he has some abilities of his own. Maybe he's always suspected it. But he doesn't see how his own abilities will save him from the mess that he's in. ]
... Do they? Don't you treat suspects with suspicion? [ Of course he knows she'll notice how he didn't say anything about the witness part. ]
no subject
[ Manuscript pages. It always comes back to that. Doesn't it? ]
This AWE, this story, [ a gesture is made to the stack of papers, ] is it what the Dark Presence wrote using you? Like with "Departure."
[ « It would explain why it doesn't sound like Alan but people hear his voice when reading it. » ]
"And then" what? Lock you up like a criminal? Like Hartman?
[ His question about her abilities comes forward. Jesse takes a small step back. A hand raises to the side and chair comes barreling towards them. It stops short and simply hovers in the air. A faint sound can be heard--Polaris. ]
Do you really need a demonstration?
no subject
[ His expression has sobered, and he finds it hard to even keep looking at her. This is his responsibility, and he needs to fix it; he just needs to figure out how to do that. ]
It got in. It got in, it wrote another story, and I need to change the story so that... so that no one gets hurt. I know that's what it does; it hurts people and it doesn't care about who it hurts or how many of them, as long as it gets what it wants.
[ He nods slowly, with no small amount of reluctance. ]
It used me to write this story. This... terrible, dark story.
[ Finally, he levels a glance at her. ] I'm just as bad as a criminal, aren't I? Even if I don't remember what happened when it wrote this story, I'm still responsible. It's still my fault.
[ No, he doesn't need a demonstration of her abilities, but he knows he wants to see it in action anyway. And she doesn't disappoint; the chair barrels towards them, stopping short just inches away, and Alan's eyebrows raise. ]
Okay. If the Dark Presence comes back, you can stop it. You have to stop it. But... but if it gets too much- [ It kills people, doesn't it? I don't want that happening to her. That would be something else that's my fault. I won't let that happen. ]
Run. Don't stay here. Get your people and run.
[ Maybe they won't get far, but it's better than staying to fight a losing battle, isn't it? ]
no subject
It doesn't think of people as people. They're a means to an end. Something to add to itself. The Hiss were the same way. Polaris may be the same way to a degree. She's just more... willing to work with living things.
[ « Although, I think you do know beings are individual and respect it. » ]
We can't run away. If we do, then who fights it? These things are our job. We investigate, find a way to end, then study these things. I'm not coming here just to turn around and run. This has been going on long enough. Thirteen years is long enough. It ends now.
[ She let's the chair drop. ] All of these can be stopped. It's finding the right way to stop it. Ordinary's AWE ended when the Slide Projector was turned off. So, we find what will cut off the link between the dimension the Dark Presence comes from and ours. The Lake is just the place that it happens in.
Any ideas?
no subject
I know it doesn't. I know it doesn't care about people; it doesn't care about this reality, except for the fact that it wants to take it over. We can't- I can't let that happen.
You could run away though. This all started because of me, didn't it? I should just keep working to find a way to stop it, even if... [ His words trail off there, as he knows the thought forming in his mind isn't one either of them want. He asked her to be here, to find him, and they have to work on this together. ]
Never mind. We'll find a way to stop it now that we're both here.
[ She asks if he has ideas, and he pauses for a moment to think. ]
It's like before, I think. The story needs the right ending, only this time, the ending is stopping the Dark Presence and this AWE. I just need to find a way to write it.
no subject
[ « He probably remembers you even less than me. Best to keep it in terms he'll remember. I know you've been trying to reach out to him. Any luck? »
Polaris shifts.
« Yeah. I know. » ]
I don't run away. Not after what happened in Ordinary. You're the one who decided I couldn't follow you--the one who left me. Us. Don't tell me to run away after that. [ Despite how the words may sound harsh? Her tone is soft. ] You're home and that's where you're staying.
[ « That's how it was before. Stopping the Dark Presence. Making all this stop. » ]
Do you need to look over the pages we have?
no subject
You could, because nothing's stopping you, but you wouldn't because you're not like that. You don't run.
[ He shakes his head. ] I don't think you'd run. [ I just wish she would, but I know that she won't.
He quiets again as she continues speaking, and then those words land and register in his mind. You're the one who decided I couldn't follow you--the one who left me.
There's an immediate change of expression on Alan's face. His shoulders slump slightly and a look of tiredness... of exhaustion slides into place. The bags under his eyes seem to become more pronounced as he just looks at her. ]
I want to stay here. I don't want to have to leave again.
[ The admission slides out of him quietly, but he doesn't want to call it back. But then she mentions the pages she has, and something in Alan seems to snap to attention. The tiredness remains, but his focus asserts itself again. ]
Yeah. Can I see them? It's not classified or something, is it?
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)