synthneon | oceanview (different path) || ❝ lost in mist for days and days, now you see the sunny seas. ❞

... Okay. [ Jesse pauses briefly. ] Thank you.

[ « With no memories he has no reason to trust me. Even knowing that he's willing to try. That means a lot. » ]

The more we know the more we can find a way to fight against it. Even if we can't destroy it we can at least be prepared.

[ A frown tugs on her face. ] I'm not sure Polaris counters the Dark Presence the same way she does the Hiss. More like... she can help "boost" what already does. Theoretically. You said the Hiss and the Dark Presence worked together to change Hartman.

[ « So, you need a Light Presence? Does that even exist? It has to... doesn't it? "If one then why not two?" Or, something like that. Alan said it on the Hotline.

"Remember for?" For what? » ]

You fought the Dark Presence before. I learned how to from you.

[ He was the one that taught her light and bullets. The flashlights, lanterns, work lamps. All of them worked.

She remembers a manuscript page about the flannel. It was good memories--filled with light--from a better time with Alice. Memories to wrap himself in and fight the darkness. He may never have seen that she read those pages. Part of her always felt as if she inserted herself into his life, even if he technically wrote her into the story. Reading that page and seeing "Sunrise" all but confirmed in her mind she had stepped between Alan and Alice regardless of the divorce.

The flannel is good memories. Memories she wished to have with him too. Something that could make him smile in the dark when they were apart. Happiness to draw on while he used the keychain to find her.

« Those are his memories with Alice. Memories that actually made him happy. Nothing from our time together was probably happy enough to remember. There'd be no reason for him to keep ahold of the keychain. Deerfest is bad memories. How he met both of us are bad memories. Nothing good was from it. Why would he want to remember it? »

Her face scrunches up as tears perk her eyelids. ]

Because of me? Or because the Dark Presence got out again?

Edited 2024-09-11 23:37 (UTC)

[ His eyebrows lift in mild surprise, as if he wasn't expecting to be thanked. What exactly has he done to deserve thanks? But he doesn't have to be a genius to know that him trusting her is important to her. Even if it wasn't, he knows he wants to trust her. He wants to get his memories back so they can be how they're supposed to be. ]

Okay. Whenever you want me to do it, I'll tell you what I know. I'm guessing Estevez will want to be there for that.

[ He figures the least he can do is live with that; he's not the one calling the shots here. ]

But she can help, just like you can. The Dark Presence wants to get out and take over everything that it can, and it won't be good when it does. I don't really know a lot about how Polaris works, but compared to what the Dark Presence does to people, I think I'd choose Polaris every time.

And I learned how from someone else... someone else who isn't from our world, our reality. I wouldn't know how to do anything if he hadn't shown me.

[ His words trail off as he observes a shift in Jesse's demeanor. She seems far away, lost in thought, and he wonders what's on her mind. Gradually, his expression turns more worried the longer the silence between them seems to drag on. Maybe it's only been seconds at best, but it feels like a lot longer to Alan. ]

Yes, because of you. I made promises to you and I had to keep them. I have to keep them. I'm here because of you.

[ Needing to deal with the Dark Presence once and for all is important, but coming back for Jesse is even more important in Alan's mind. ]

[ Trust and belief. They're the key things that once someone shows and proves they have them in her? Jesse fights to protect them. She may not let them in all the way, but she will consider them people that are important. Not that she expects him to realize or even remember any of those facts. How much he can still gage things as an author is unknown. The extent of his memory loss is a mystery as well.

« There's so much we don't know. » ]

Kiran will want to be involved. Especially since any research that's been conducted is out of commission. I guess you can put it that way.

[ The Reaearch team has gone dark. The Lake House has gone dark. Something tells her that the statement is more accurate than she might really know. ]

Polaris... think of her like a frequency you can tune into. She is going to be there in the background. Until she wants to spread herself further into more spaces. It's harmonious. Ambient. Nothing about her is invasive. You have to agree to her frequency and presence.

And, somehow, she interacts with the Light.

[ Her head tilts slightly. ] Who did you learn from?

[ Jesse's hands curl further into the flannel shirt he wears. It's not the same shirt, but, the similarities are definitely there enough to make her wonder on how close this story is to the one he tried to write in Arizona all those years ago. ]

Do you remember what those promises were?

[ The thing is, Alan isn't sure who he can trust in or believe right now. The list of people who fall into those categories is small. In fact, there's only a handful of people on said list, and he doesn't even know what happened to one of those people. Jesse is someone on that list, and so is Saga, but even if he doesn't have all of his memories, he has a history with Jesse, which puts her closer to the top.

It also makes her someone he has to protect.

He nods slowly as she continues talking; of course Estevez will want to be involved, as it seems she's been overseeing matters here for some time now. Of course she'll have a lot of questions for him, given how badly her first attempt at questioning him went. It's not something he's looking forward to, but he already said he'd cooperate, and he intends to do just that. ]

Well, she sounds a lot better than what the Dark Presence does, anyway. As far as I'm concerned, she's someone to keep around. Not that she's going anywhere or that it's up to me.

[ He quiets again for a moment or two, trying to think back to his first meeting with... Who was it? I remember hearing a voice, and it belonged to someone who was trying to help me. Why don't I remember? ]

It was... someone in a diver's suit, but we weren't near the water. I think... I think it wasn't just a person in a diver's suit.

[ At her next question, Alan just looks down. ]

I know the memories are there, and I know I made promises to you, but- [ He wants to hit himself in the head, as if that would dislodge the memories that seem to be hidden from him. ]

Did I promise that I'd come back? That I... wouldn't forget you? I guess I didn't keep that one, did I?

[ Now he finds he can't look her in the eyes. ]

[ A look is fixed to him. Of course Polaris is better than the Dark Presence or the Hiss. Not that he really remembers Polaris, and she is aware of that. Alan is absorbing everything as if he's learning it for the first time. Taking the facts and making notes against observations just like any author would do. What to use in a story, what to cut, what her story is with the Buearu and with Polaris...

« It's just, thirteen years ago, it felt like there was more emotion in it. More personal interest... now it's like checking it against a fact sheet. This is what people must feel like talking to me. »

Her head tilts down further and her face presses into the space where his shoulder and neck meet. Just a few more moments this way. Then, she will need to be the Director again. They'll need to interview him properly. They need more information on how the Dark Presence works. The nature of this story. She'll need to read all that they have of the manuscript.

« Even if it's us thats missing and never coming back. The people of Bright Falls are the important ones right now.

It just feels like... I've lost him. That the Alan Wake I know is never coming home... would he still feel the same way now? Would he just always see the Director and not me? Or you? »

If the Alan Wake she knew is really gone... then she wants the charm back. She'll need to say her goodbyes to that part of her life in her own way. Give the charm to the Bureau for study as an Altered Item.

Even if it continues to break her heart. ]

Something like Polaris. [ Her friend shifts and swirls in confirmation. ] Whatever opposites the Dark Presence, like Polaris does the Hiss.

[ Jesse is glad he can't see the reaction on her face. How her expression falls and eyebrows knit. He really doesn't remember. She truly is a stranger to him and all he has are the facts "written" down somewhere in his mind. She inhales sharply. Hands curl into his flannel.

Then, she carefully locks it all away. Hidden behind walls and locked down where people can't see. She'll handle it after the AWE is over. That comes first now. ]

You're home. That's what matters. [ Her tone shifts from vulnerable to something more neutral--in control. No more letting his words pull emotions from her. Not until it's over. ] We need to go over what we have of the manuscript. Know what you know about it... find a way to end the story and the AWE.

[ A feeling has been stirring inside Alan, and until this exact moment, he had no idea what it was or how to describe it. But now he knows exactly what that feeling is: it's a feeling of wrongness. He's wrong, or he came back wrong, or both. This wasn't supposed to be like this. He doesn't remember how or why he should know that, but that instinct inside him is speaking loud and clear.

He can see it in the way she looks at him, just as he can hear it in her voice. It's disappointment and sadness and he thinks if he looks hard enough, he can see her starting to wall herself off. She was opening up to me once, a long time ago now. Now she's closing off again, and it's my fault.

He doesn't pull away from her, just remaining still as she keeps pressing her face in between his shoulder and neck. He's supposed to be comforting her, but he can tell he's only making her more upset.

I know this is wrong. This isn't how this was supposed to go. ]

So... so it's in everyone's best interest if we work together. If you'll let me. [ She probably isn't looking at him, not with how her face is pressed into his shoulder, but a certain look has slid into his eyes. It's equal parts desperation and longing, but sadness too. Why? Because he can't remember things he shouldn't have forgotten. All he has to do is look at her to know that, even if he can't see her face right now. ]

That's not enough, is it? It's not all that matters to you. [ His hands curl against her frame: protectively? Lovingly? He's not sure which. But there's an urgency in the gesture, a wild sort of desperation to reclaim the memories he's seemingly lost. ]

It's not all that matters to me. [ The only problem is, just knowing they're important to each other isn't enough if the emotions and feelings they felt once aren't attached to that knowledge. ]

I want to get it back... All of it. Everything the Dark Presence took from me. I just- I don't know how. [ The admission comes slowly, as if saying those words out loud is the last thing he wanted to do. ]

Edited 2024-09-16 03:38 (UTC)

[ What she wants and what reality is are very different things. She learned that a long time ago, and the adventures in the Oldest House merely confirmed it. What the altered realities do to people's minds is documented and she shouldn't have expected a romantic reunion. Dylan was far from what she expected and Alan was proven to be the same case. She doesn't blame him. It's what these things do to people.

She doesn't let go of him. Just because it hasn't gone the way she hoped doesn't mean she is ungrateful that he has come home. He's home. They can end the AWE and figure out the rest later. ]

Of course I'll let you. We worked together before. Why would this be any different? Just... now I have more ways to help.

[ Her hands curl into his shirt further and press against his back. ] It's what we have, and that's better than not having you at all. The rest of it we just need to figure out.

[ « "Everything"? What else did it take from him? » ]

What else did it take?

[ She might not blame him for how he's changed, but he's already begun to blame himself, and now that he's started, he can't redirect himself. If he'd been better, or more capable, maybe he wouldn't be like this. But then again, there's a part of him that knows there's no preparing for something like this. People who've never encountered such things would have no idea what to do. People like Stucky and Rusty and so many others who called Bright Falls home had no idea what to do.

Still, it feels like something he's responsible for. ]

Why would this be any different? Because now I barely remember us and what we had before. I barely remember the promises I made you, only that I made them. And what good does that do you now that I can't remember them?

[ He pauses briefly and then he adds: ] I still could use your help. I- I need your help. [ But I'm scared of what might happen to her if she helps me. People who've tried to help have only gotten hurt... Can Polaris protect her from the Dark Presence?

She asks what else it's taken from him, and his expression darkens even as he feels himself lean slightly into her hands pressing against his back. ]

I lost more than just my memories. I forgot what it looks like when the sun's out. There's no sun in the Dark Place. It's always dark there, and cold, even in the room where I did my writing. I forgot what it's like to just sit and talk to someone.

[ He pauses again. ]

And the coffee sucks there. [ His mouth twitches a little and his lips turn up into a slight smile, but there's truth in the joke as well. ] Don't even get me started on the food.

Because you're here. [ The answer comes off strong. Pointed. ] You're not a dimension or more away. You're not out of reach. You're not sending me messages just to disappear--you're home.

[ The details are painful. Heartbreaking. Still, when she looks at it objectively? At least he is back. He's finally found a way home. The rest could be worked with in time--right?

« Am I being too optimistic? Not that I've ever really been that way. There has to be something we can do to help once this all over. » ]

When you reached out to Polaris before--in 2010--you didn't know me. You didn't know her. It's just ... that, again. Right? [ She's trying her best to be objective. That's how she has to be. The Director. ] We'll take you outside during sunrise. That'll be a start.

[ Something tells her they have to get through the night first.

Polaris gently shifts and funnels through her hands to try and garner the Writer's attention. Get him to focus on what's needed. Necessary. ]

I'm surprised the FBI Agents didn't do anything to help. With the coffee at least. The Oh Deer Diner was nearby.

Edited 2024-09-16 19:13 (UTC)

... But- [ Alan's expression shifts, and his tone sounds hesitant and uncertain, in contrast to the strength in Jesse's voice. ] You were waiting for someone else. Expecting someone else. What you got might as well be a stranger, right?

[ He doesn't have to be a mind reader to guess that she's disappointed. Hurt, probably. He promised her things and he didn't keep his promises. He came back, but he's not the "him" she wanted. That has to be upsetting to her. ]

So we start again, is that it? I know that's not what you want, but... [ I don't want her to push me away. I might not remember everything, but I know she's important. She's who I was trying to come home to. ]

Sunrise sounds great. I'd like that.

[ Maybe it's ridiculous of him to want to see the sun again, but he doesn't care of it is. He's had enough of darkness. Part of him doesn't even want to look outside to see how dark it is. Just the thought of being in the dark makes his skin crawl, and the only thing that distracts him from that feeling is Polaris trying to get his attention.

For what? What does she want me to do?

He looks up again and tries to catch her eye, to meet her gaze if she's looking at him. ]

That's not their job, right? Their job is to get information, not get coffee for a suspect.

Expectations and reality isn't always the same. I know that. This isn't the first reunion to not be what I hoped for.

[ « It probably won't be the last either. »

She's the stranger--isn't she? Everything she knows about Alan Wake seems to still be true. Everything she remembers is still how he is--minus the long hair and the beard. His confidence also seems to be in shambles. It's been thirteen years. Somethings about him are going to have changed.

« They've changed about us after all. » ]

Is there any other option? Other than just... moving on. [ Her tone conveys that isn't what she wants. ] Okay. Sunrise it is.

[ « Not exactly the coffee breakfast we planned on... but, close enough at this rate. » ]

They could have tried to make you more comfortable.

[ This time, his gaze lowers and his face falls, and it stays that way, as if he suddenly can't allow himself to keep trying to make eye contact. ]

Maybe not, but it's still my fault. It's still the fault of the Dark Presence. I let it get in, and I let it ruin... us. But... we'll find it again. We'll find us again.

[ It's a brief flash of determination, but it's one of the first ones Alan's had since coming back. The frustrated response that Kiran had to put up with doesn't count, not in his mind. ]

No, I guess not. But as long as you're willing to... move on... Maybe even try picking up where we- If you want to, anyway. [ There's no "we" in that. I'm the one who left her behind, right? She doesn't owe me anything.

Alan's expression darkens again, as he remembers his interactions with the FBI. They weren't harsh or anything like that, but he's firmly convinced it wasn't their job to make him comfortable. It's deserved, after all. This story is a monster, and he's contributed to it whether he meant to or not. And, well, he can't pretend that he didn't mean to. ]

Maybe, but I didn't expect them to. I don't expect any of you to.

[ « "I let it get in"? What the hell does that mean? »

She can guess and those guesses don't make her any happier. Somehow, the Dark Presence took him over. Not to the extent of the Taken (as Alan called them) or the people possessed by the Hiss. Obviously. He's standing in front of her. But... enough to take his memories? Enough to do what?

Her head finally raises. That determination that may ring a bell in his mind is present, but so is another sort of strength. Not just Polaris. An authority. ]

You let it in? What did it DO?

[ « Shit. Shit. Shit. This is NOT good. Didn't it always want an artist in able to change reality to let it into our world? That's why Zane is such a mystery. He stopped it when it took Jagger's body--if the song from the Old God's of Asgard is accurate. And they've been fighting it for YEARS, allegedly. So what happened when Alan let it get in?

How did it get in? What did he do? Or didn't do? What did IT do? » ]

If you're willing to. It's going to be more complicated now. We're more complicated. With the Buearu, Polaris, the Dark Presence, our abilities...

[ « And now he knows I have abilities. Maybe he already suspected it. He might figure he has his own as well. This is such a mess. None od this was supppsed to go this way. » ]

Then, they suck at knowing how to treat a witness. Or a suspect.

[ « And that's the worst kind of agent in my book. » ]

[ The sudden shift in Jesse's demeanor elicits a reaction from Alan almost immediately. His hands clench into fists and he has to fight to stop himself from recoiling and curling inward on himself; as it is, his shoulders hunch and his gaze slides away again. ]

... Not on purpose. Why would I let it in on purpose, knowing what it's like? Knowing what it wants.

[ Maybe this is the crux of the matter, the real reason why he feels like the FBI let him off lightly. The FBC seems to be doing the same, more or less. If the Dark Presence gets into their reality and takes over, won't it be his fault? ]

I don't know everything about what it did, but when I... when I woke up, or whatever you want to call it, there were pages I know I didn't write. The Dark Presence took control, it took me over, and it wrote a story I wouldn't have written.

... What if it comes back? What if it controls me again? That's why you and the FBI and any one else shouldn't bother with anything but getting the answers you need. I'll give you the answers, and then-

[ What? Lock me up? That's not going to help if it controls me again. I can't say what will happen then, but I know it won't be good. ]

Of course I'm willing to, but I think it has to be soon. It has to be fast, in case the Dark Presence can overpower me again. Can your abilities delay it long enough for people to escape?

[ He does accept that there are abilities; it boggles his mind, but he can accept it. He can believe it. He can even believe that maybe he has some abilities of his own. Maybe he's always suspected it. But he doesn't see how his own abilities will save him from the mess that he's in. ]

... Do they? Don't you treat suspects with suspicion? [ Of course he knows she'll notice how he didn't say anything about the witness part. ]

I didn't say you did it on purpose, Alan. [ « Dylan let the Hiss in because he was angry. Angry at the world, the Buearu, you. Me. I can't see Alan doing the same thing. » ] If it got in then I need to know.

[ Manuscript pages. It always comes back to that. Doesn't it? ]

This AWE, this story, [ a gesture is made to the stack of papers, ] is it what the Dark Presence wrote using you? Like with "Departure."

[ « It would explain why it doesn't sound like Alan but people hear his voice when reading it. » ]

"And then" what? Lock you up like a criminal? Like Hartman?

[ His question about her abilities comes forward. Jesse takes a small step back. A hand raises to the side and chair comes barreling towards them. It stops short and simply hovers in the air. A faint sound can be heard--Polaris. ]

Do you really need a demonstration?

I know you didn't, but how do I know that it's not my fault that it got in? Maybe I didn't let it in; maybe it broke in, but that's still my fault.

[ His expression has sobered, and he finds it hard to even keep looking at her. This is his responsibility, and he needs to fix it; he just needs to figure out how to do that. ]

It got in. It got in, it wrote another story, and I need to change the story so that... so that no one gets hurt. I know that's what it does; it hurts people and it doesn't care about who it hurts or how many of them, as long as it gets what it wants.

[ He nods slowly, with no small amount of reluctance. ]

It used me to write this story. This... terrible, dark story.

[ Finally, he levels a glance at her. ] I'm just as bad as a criminal, aren't I? Even if I don't remember what happened when it wrote this story, I'm still responsible. It's still my fault.

[ No, he doesn't need a demonstration of her abilities, but he knows he wants to see it in action anyway. And she doesn't disappoint; the chair barrels towards them, stopping short just inches away, and Alan's eyebrows raise. ]

Okay. If the Dark Presence comes back, you can stop it. You have to stop it. But... but if it gets too much- [ It kills people, doesn't it? I don't want that happening to her. That would be something else that's my fault. I won't let that happen. ]

Run. Don't stay here. Get your people and run.

[ Maybe they won't get far, but it's better than staying to fight a losing battle, isn't it? ]

[ Jesse remains quiet and simply listens to everything that comes from him. The why the Dark Presence got to him isn't the important part to her right at the moment. The fact that he's here, home, and they have to end this new story is the first order of business. They can figure out how the Dark Presence used him both times once it isn't running amuck. ]

It doesn't think of people as people. They're a means to an end. Something to add to itself. The Hiss were the same way. Polaris may be the same way to a degree. She's just more... willing to work with living things.

[ « Although, I think you do know beings are individual and respect it. » ]

We can't run away. If we do, then who fights it? These things are our job. We investigate, find a way to end, then study these things. I'm not coming here just to turn around and run. This has been going on long enough. Thirteen years is long enough. It ends now.

[ She let's the chair drop. ] All of these can be stopped. It's finding the right way to stop it. Ordinary's AWE ended when the Slide Projector was turned off. So, we find what will cut off the link between the dimension the Dark Presence comes from and ours. The Lake is just the place that it happens in.

Any ideas?

[ A lot of what he's doing and saying is venting his frustrations and worries about the situation they're dealing with. It's complicated in so many ways, and it's all bigger than him. The Dark Presence could overpower him easily enough, and that's what scares him. But what scares him more than that is the thought of the Dark Presence overpowering those he cares about most, and that's something he just can't allow. ]

I know it doesn't. I know it doesn't care about people; it doesn't care about this reality, except for the fact that it wants to take it over. We can't- I can't let that happen.

You could run away though. This all started because of me, didn't it? I should just keep working to find a way to stop it, even if... [ His words trail off there, as he knows the thought forming in his mind isn't one either of them want. He asked her to be here, to find him, and they have to work on this together. ]

Never mind. We'll find a way to stop it now that we're both here.

[ She asks if he has ideas, and he pauses for a moment to think. ]

It's like before, I think. The story needs the right ending, only this time, the ending is stopping the Dark Presence and this AWE. I just need to find a way to write it.

Do you really think I could run away? With my guiding star?

[ « He probably remembers you even less than me. Best to keep it in terms he'll remember. I know you've been trying to reach out to him. Any luck? »

Polaris shifts.

« Yeah. I know. » ]

I don't run away. Not after what happened in Ordinary. You're the one who decided I couldn't follow you--the one who left me. Us. Don't tell me to run away after that. [ Despite how the words may sound harsh? Her tone is soft. ] You're home and that's where you're staying.

[ « That's how it was before. Stopping the Dark Presence. Making all this stop. » ]

Do you need to look over the pages we have?

[ He opens his mouth to argue, to try and make some other argument why it's not her problem to solve. Why she has no obligation to stay. But any counter argument he would make just seems to fall on its face, even in his mind. She's not selfish, she's not a coward. She wouldn't run from this just because it's dangerous. ]

You could, because nothing's stopping you, but you wouldn't because you're not like that. You don't run.

[ He shakes his head. ] I don't think you'd run. [ I just wish she would, but I know that she won't.

He quiets again as she continues speaking, and then those words land and register in his mind. You're the one who decided I couldn't follow you--the one who left me.

There's an immediate change of expression on Alan's face. His shoulders slump slightly and a look of tiredness... of exhaustion slides into place. The bags under his eyes seem to become more pronounced as he just looks at her. ]

I want to stay here. I don't want to have to leave again.

[ The admission slides out of him quietly, but he doesn't want to call it back. But then she mentions the pages she has, and something in Alan seems to snap to attention. The tiredness remains, but his focus asserts itself again. ]

Yeah. Can I see them? It's not classified or something, is it?

I did once.

[ « If I hadn't, how different would things have been? I would have been in the Buearu with Dylan... maybe he wouldn't have accepted the Hiss if we both were there. I wouldn't have met Alan. I wonder if that would have changed anything. Maybe it wouldn't have mattered. » ]

You're not leaving again. I'm not letting you decide anything about us--whatever we have of it--alone anymore.

[ « Three times was three too many. »

She can tell the exhaustion on his face. Someone would have to be blind not to see it. It doesn't change the fact that everything he has asked her to jump or run with him she has. Every time she thought it would lead to the road where he was at the end waiting to be pulled home. She doesn't doubt he tried, she doesn't dismiss he's exhausted.

Jesse just wants him home. Permanently. ]

Yeah. [ She turns back to the gray clipboard and holds it up. ] This is what we found and what your FBI Agents had in their field office.

Once, but that was then. That's not now. You wouldn't do that now.

[ His expression falls gradually until he's looking down again. He's not trying to go out of his way to be ungrateful; he knows (somehow, since the Dark Presence keeps screwing with his memories) that Jesse's done everything he's ever asked him to, but he still has doubts and worries, and he can't seem to keep a lid on them. ]

What if it's not our choice? What if it's decided for us? What if I... What if I can't do anything?

[ Those last times, Alan made the choice. He did the deciding, but something tells him that he may not always have that kind of control. Maybe choices will be made for him, things decided for him.

What if they don't get to choose how things go? ]

What if it doesn't let you choose?

[ Slowly, almost reluctantly, he lifts his eyes again to look at what's on the clipboard. ]

You've read them too, haven't you? What do you think about them? [ If she wants to help, maybe she can give input. Or maybe she can't, and Alan's just barking up the wrong tree. ]

Edited 2024-09-29 23:04 (UTC)

No. [ She immediate cuts into his questions. Stern. In control. Not much like the young woman he knew who was paranoid and unsure to state her opinion and decisions. ] There is always a choice. Even if that choice is to do nothing and let it fold out or to change it and fight the story. Those are still choices, Alan.

You're not powerless and unable to decide if you're going to fight or let it sink you down.

[ She is the Director of the Federal Bureau of Control. That shows more now than anything. Even a familiar shimmer is around if Alan can still see the guiding star. ]

I had to read them. [ Her head tilts. ] You didn't write them. I mean, the parts typed out on a typewriter. The handwritten ones is your storytelling. I know how you write. [ A gesture is made to the manuscript. ] They look like the ones "Departure" was written on.

Okay, so say that you're right. Say that there's always a choice, that what I do still matters. What if I fight the story and it still has the upper hand?

[ He feels powerless to do much of anything, in spite of what Jesse might say or would have him believe. ]

What if I decide to fight and it fights back? It's going to fight back, and I don't know if I can do anything to stop it.

[ He can't seem to stop doubting himself, and he knows that's going to be a problem. He can't fight the story if he doesn't believe that he can do it. ]

Okay. You read the story, that's good. And- And I think I'm remembering a little more now, so that's good too, isn't it? The handwritten parts... that's me fighting the story. Trying to change it, because I wouldn't write this. The story that I'd write wouldn't be like this at all. Yes, that's right.

I was trying to write it how I'd do it, but since it's already written, I had to go along with it, only changing bits and pieces of it.

... That's still what I have to do, isn't it? [ He knows the answer, but he needs to ask for confirmation too. ]

[ The stern look on her face continues to narrow as he speaks. He doesn't sound like himself. Alan had doubts, worries, concerns. He never gave up. What he's saying sounds more like someone who is simply waiting to be told to either keep up the fight or to just stop and roll over. Both cause a bristle to go up her spine.

« No, no. NO. This isn't Alan--this is what the story is making him to be. This is what it's making him see and feel and even believe. He's trapped in it just as much as we are. » ]

It doesn't matter if it has the upper hand. We fight it. We make it change. I didn't have the upper hand when I first found the Buearu. We didn't have it the first time in 2010.

[ She points to the paper in his hands. ]

We follow it to the ending. The ending isn't written, is it? We change it if the Dark Presence has then. What do you need to change it?

oceanview (different path) || ❝ lost in mist for days and days, now you see the sunny seas. ❞

OCEANVIEW :: INTO THE DARK

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