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synthneon2024-04-13 08:24 pm
outlierdirector) wrote in synthneon2024-04-13 08:24 pm
oceanview || ❝ two worlds colliding, there ain't no bargaining. ❞
There ain't no bargaining
No giving in without a fight
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After all, his wife isn't quite the woman that Alan knows. ]
Oh, my gosh. Alan! Hi! [ The bright and cheerful smile of one familiar waitress welcomes him the moment he steps into the diner. Rose Merigold excitedly waves at the sight of him. She still runs his fansite, and is quite taken with him, but knows where the line is drawn for the sake of his marriage.
After all, she and his wife go back many years.
A familiar red headed woman raises her gaze from the paperwork in front of her. Green eyes immediately dart to Alan. A shimmer that he is used to doesn't even have a trace or hint in her eyes. Red hair is longer and more curled at the ends. Still, one could look at her and assume she's Jesse Faden. Especially with the deep blue coat with white lettering of "FBC" on the back.
Jesbet "Beth" Wake pauses at the sight of the man who should be her husband. ]
"Oh. Sorry, did I keep you? I was just... you know. Filling out paperwork for. Things!" [ Rose gestures to Beth and the paperwork. ] "Don't you worry, Beth. I'll have it all filled out in the morning! I wouldn't want to keep you. Oh, especially since the big interview about Alan's new book is tonight! I can't WAIT to see it! Go on, go. Both of you!"
...Yeah. Thanks, Rose. [ Beth immediately stands and walks over to Alan. A small limp can be seen to the trained eye. ] Come on.
[ Her hand latches around his wrist. In a moment, Beth is pushing the Oh Deer Diner door open. She practically drags Alan behind her. Around the corner and back behind the diner. It's only once they are from prying eyes that she turns and snaps back to him. Green eyes meet his gray ones.
They narrow. ] You're not Alan. Who are you?
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Busy day today? [ His gaze travels briefly over and settles on Jesse, and some details stand out to him as odd, but he doesn't comment on them right now. Even when she's just sitting there, she manages to pull his attention and his focus. It's just the effect she has on him whether she realizes it or not. ]
Paperwork for things. Got it. [ He figures it's something related to Beth's work, and so he doesn't pry. It's probably classified information anyway. Rose prattles on about the paperwork and not wanting to keep Beth, and then she mentions the interview and the book. ]
I hope you enjoy it: the interview and the book. [ He really does mean that; he feels like he's not naturally good at giving interviews, but he can slide into a persona that's at least a little engaging and responsive. It seems to work for him, anyway.
Again his gaze shifts when Beth stands up and walks over to him. He doesn't miss the slight limp in her step, but that flies right out of his mind when he feels her hand latch onto his wrist and she starts practically dragging him from the diner. He waves at Rose with his other hand and then he's pulled out the door. ]
... What do you mean, I'm not Alan? [ He immediately looks confused as soon as he registers Beth's words and the look she's giving him. ]
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[ Beth stares him down. She may not have crazy powers like some people, but, she has a knack for spotting things that don't belong. Especially if comes to people she loves and cares about. Sherrif Breaker was the same way when they met. He thought she was someone else--that they had some sort of special connection. They have something, a comradery, but it's nothing like what she and Alan have.
Or, had.
That's what's missing in Alan's gaze. The certain spark that makes his gray eyes light up. It's been dulled for... awhile now, but it wasn't just gone. Someone else is looking back at her. Someone who isn't the man she married. Not in a metaphoric sense either. ]
You're not him. [ Beth states firmly. ] I don't know who you are. You're not Alan Wake. Not the one who married me.
[ Her heart clenches. She's done everything to make sure nothing comes home to him. More out of his own insistence than Buearu red tape. He made it clear through first time she met him thirteen years ago he didn't believe in anything supernatural. Paranormal.
Even then, he came out to find me in the woods...
So, who the hell is looking back at her? ]
I'm going to ask you again. Who are you?
pretend I didn't slip Jesse in there instead of Beth (and in the discord rp too, shh)
... Or do they belong to him after all? ]
Why do you keep saying that? If I'm not the Alan who married you, then who am I? What is this, some kind of test? Or is this something... Something else?
[ He's certain she'll know what he means by "something else". ]
I'm Alan Wake. That's who I am; that's always been who I am.
>> << i saw nothing
Something else.
There is always an underlying tone of annoyance when he talks about the weird things. Strange. Unusual. A tone that says he finds it all stupid and not real. Everyone in Bright Falls--for as much as he loves the place--has bought too far into the local legends. Stupid people in the forest at night help sell the legends to try and drive business to the town. So much so, they they inspired his new trilogy.
That doesn't mean he believes in it. Or will believe at all.
She can't say this must be "something else." As long as whoever this is that thinks he's her Alan? He'll probably react the same. She can't risk whatever is going on getting worse. ]
Maybe "an" Alan Wake.
[ Not mine.
She glances up as a few locals stop to look at them. Shit. ]
Just, get in the car. People are looking.
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[ Alan's tone is flat, but not lacking in emotion. He's finding himself incredibly confused because that strange, annoying feeling that feels like a clash between what he thinks he knows and what he actually knows won't go away.
And on top of that, he feels a dull ache forming in his head that wasn't there earlier. Is everything just conspiring against me to make me feel like I'm going crazy?
He stares at Jesse with a hard look in his eyes now, as if he doesn't like how she's talking to him. It's just one more thing that's at odds with how he feels. He knows that he loves her; they're married, they're in love... Are we in love?
But the way they're interacting with each other doesn't feel like how two people in love would interact. ]
Fine.
[ He moves to get in the car on the passenger's side, assuming she'll want to drive. ]
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Even though I never bring up work. I don't talk about what happens. I don't bring up the... weird things about Bright Falls. Watery. People in town do--especially at Deerfest. Still, no matter what I do, it feels like he's just pulling further and further away... and now...
What if whoever this is got here because he...
Beth's gaze drops slightly. A familiar look comes across her eyes. The quiet vulnerable expression that shows more than she thinks. Then, she turns and starts towards the car.
Pain shoots up from her ankle but she refuses to bring attention.
The drive to the house is quiet. Pain lingers in her leg as she drives.
Are we in love? I still love him. It hurts. All of it...because I love him. Does he still love me?
They arrive at the large house. It sits on the outskirts of Bright Falls. The town can be seen from the porch, but they're still far from Cauldron Lake. Beth insisted they stay away from the Lake. Alan thought it was ridiculous but went along with it because it was outside the town limits. Peace and quiet. Easy to write.
Beth opens the door and motions for him to step inside. He'll either be able to remember what her Alan should in the house layout or he'll be confused and wander around. Either way, Beth motions to the home and makes her way further into the building. Best to get out of her work clothes.
It's not like they share a room anymore anyways.
She steps inside one of the guest rooms and changes out of her work clothes. Long oversized t-shirt, leggings, and socks. Then, she grabs a drink from the fridge and makes her way to the back porch. The house rests on the edge of one of the cliffs, allowing them to look over Bright Falls and the Pudget Sound. ]
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Unlike Beth, who doesn't seem to want to draw attention to the pain in her ankle, Alan presses his hands against both sides of his head as the headache only seems to grow as the car makes its way along.
Finally, they reach the destination: a large house a good distance away from Bright Falls. Why did we pick this place? Because it's far from town, and farther still from the lake. Yeah...
Beth- Jesse... She gets out of the car and beckons to him to follow her, which he does. Once inside, he looks around him, but he immediately seems to have his bearings. How?
Beth motions again, and then she steps away to go somewhere... their room, probably? But when Alan goes to the master bedroom, he notices immediately that something's wrong here. Only one side of the bed looks like it's been used, and half of the room doesn't look like it's been used at all.
We're not sleeping in the same room anymore? Why? What happened? This isn't- It's wrong.
Alan's quick to change his clothes too, slipping into a loose t-shirt, shorts, and socks, and then he heads back to look for Jesse. Beth. Why do I keep doing that?
He thought he heard her moving around the kitchen and then opening the door that leads to the back porch, so that's where he goes too. ]
... Beth?
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What is it?
[ Something tells her that he is going to want to talk to her. A long talk. Maybe he's finally realizing he isn't her Alan. Then again, a lot of people would try to say Alan isn't the person that she married thirteen years ago. ]
Drinks are in the fridge. Feel free to help yourself.
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Uh- [ Smooth start, but he's working up to it. ]
Thanks, but I'm fine. I wanted... I guess I wanted to talk about us. About you.
[ He rubs the back of his neck before adding: ]
You'll probably say you don't want to talk to me.
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[ The weird and strange are her world. His is art. Maybe hers would of been art if the accident hadn't happened. Then again, maybe they wouldn't have met if it hadn't have happened. They only met because they were both at Hartman's clinic.
Which turned out darker than she expected. ]
You obviously have them.
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[ It's not about art or the weird and strange, but something more domestic. ]
What happened? Why aren't we sharing a room? I mean, not "me", but the other "me". The Alan that you know.
[ That's so weird for him to say, especially since he has yet to wrap his mind around there being another Alan. ]
What did I do? [ Because something tells him that it was his fault. ]
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You'd have to ask him. [ Green eyes fall away. Then, they dart to the side in a familiar motion. ] It was his idea.
[ I never wanted this.
She didn't want the rift to happen between them. She never wanted him to feel as if she was never at his side supporting him. If that was the reason. She offered to go to every press conference, every interview. It had been fine with "Departure" and "Initation."
What about "Return" has turned him away? ]
He insisted.
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Okay. Well, he's not here, so I'm just going to listen to you. [ That's something, right? It's not exactly trust, but it's close. Or maybe it's not close at all, but it's not outright disbelief either. ]
Why would he- Never mind, I don't want to know. But... What if you moved back in? Would you want to?
[ Then it occurs to him that maybe that's why she knows he's not the Alan that married her. Maybe it's too soon for him to even know this, but good instincts is something that Alan thinks he has sometimes, and well... if it was her Alan's idea for them to sleep in separate rooms, an Alan who wants to change that again must be different. ]
I guess that's how you know I'm not him, huh?
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Why wouldn't I want to? I don't want anything like this. It's not a marriage. It's... just cohabitation. [ Beth sighs. Closes her eyes. Tilts her head away. ] I know you're not him because of your eyes.
He hasn't looked at me that way in awhile.
[ She can remember seeing that look in Alan's eyes when he would turn to see her. How he just seemed to light up. Whatever on his mind was gone because for some reason he would focus on her. She could feel the love in his gaze. Not that she wanted to be the single attention in the room. It was more that she could feel how he wanted to make sure she knew how much he loved her in a single look.
That feeling and look isn't there now when her Alan sees her. At least, it feels as if it's gone. She's his wife, but she's just one other person adding to whatever other pressure he is under with the book release. She's just like everyone else around him--someone that must make him unhappy.
None of this was an issue until he got closer to finishing "Return." ]
Still... he's my husband. The only person I have. Even if I'm not the same for him now.
[ Maybe he's found another person to love. Maybe he's fallen out of love with her. Maybe he can't pretend to put up with the supernatural no matter how much she shields him from it. She has no idea. They don't talk anymore. Not really.]
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There has to be something I can do to help. ]
Okay. [ Alan takes a breath and lets it out before he continues. ] What started all this? Why did he become so... different?
[ Alan's expression shifts to one of worry, of concern and wanting to help. Can he help at all? He's not sure, but he knows he wants to try. ]
I think I understand now why you asked who I was. I'm not like your Alan, because- well, you're important, and you deserve better.
[ Alan's expression turns thoughtful as he tries to think of what he could do that would help. ]
If I could grab your Alan by the collar and shake some sense into him, I'd do it.
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So, you believe you're not my Alan. [ A sly glance is sent to him with a bit of a smirk. Then, her gaze falls again. The smirk disappears. ] I don't know about deserving better.
[ Her shoulders fall. She most likely doesn't deserve it. If losing her family was any indication... then her ankle... why not Alan as well? ]
He probably would say you're just a figment of his imagination and brush off anything you had to say. [ A hand raises and gestures to the window above that leads to his office. A round window. ] Go see what's in his office. That'll answer your question.
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He should be treating you better; that's what I'd tell him. Maybe if I wrote down a message and left it for him somewhere for him to find. He'd probably just dismiss it, but what if he didn't? What if it made things better for you?
[ He looks in the direction she's gesturing, and he looks back at her with confusion. ]
Why do I feel like I'm not going to like what I find there? [ But he shrugs and takes a step forward as if moving to do what she said. ]
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[ Beth's even stare to him tells him that she doesn't think any of it would work. What hasn't she tried? What hasn't Tim or Rose tried? They're the best friends--minus Barry Wheeler, who thinks Alan never should of left New York--but this wasn't their place to stick their nose in. Beth doesn't even think it was her place to say anything either. Alan is the one that has made all the decisions with no room to argue or negotiate. ]
Maybe you already know something, since you think you're him. [ A hand raises again and gestures to the round window. ] Me telling you won't do any good. We both know that. Who knows? You might find out why you're here and where my Alan has gone.
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Yeah, I know. I get it, life isn't a picnic.
[ He sees her stare and he gets what she means even though she doesn't say anything. Maybe it's instinct, or maybe it's that feeling that he knows her well, even if he technically doesn't. Maybe he can just read her. ]
If he won't listen to anyone else, would he listen to himself? Well, himself but not himself.
Maybe I do, but I'm not getting any particular brainwaves, at least not yet. But if I do, you'll be the first to know. I'll be back, okay?
[ He nods to her and then heads up the stairs to the office. Once there, he takes a look around; it's a normal office, looking like it belongs to a writer. He could see himself writing here, anyway. Funny, because he does write here, just... not him him.
There's a picture on the desk that draws his attention: it's a picture of Beth's Alan standing next to her, and both of them are smiling. It's more than smiling; they look like they're laughing. Happy. So what the hell went wrong?
He looks away from the picture and sees a typewritten page on the desk. Alan picks it up and starts to read, and as he does so, he feels a chill creeping over him as if someone's slowly pouring ice cold water over him.
What is this? Why do I know this? Did he write this?
He picks up the page and heads back down the stairs and out the door to the back porch. ]
Hey. Do you know what this is?
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[ The answer is soft, vulnerable. Truthful. She has no idea what will help Alan anymore. Part of her thinks he doesn't want to be helped and would rather do everything all on his own. Or, maybe, Alan has given up on their marriage and their.... everything. She has no idea on any of it. Guessing has just led her down a path of continual fear and worry.
She watches him move back inside.
The door closes behind him.
Beth waits a moment.
She gently rubs at her ankle. The inflammation is there and pounding. That doesn't matter much to her. She needs to push past it in order to dance again. If she can dance again, then he'll see that she isn't just about her job. She's trying to protect him from the dangers of Bright Falls.
That might not matter anymore. He just--maybe he wants a normal wife. Normal life. Which means being an artist and dancing.
Her hand quickly snaps away once the door opens again. Green eyes immediately move to his paled face. Then, they drop to the item in his hand. Eyebrows scrunch up slightly. ]
A manuscript page? He hasn't let me read anything from his new book.
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[ The admission confuses him, but it concerns him more. Clearly things haven't been going well for Beth and her Alan; it sounds to him that it's been a long time since things could be considered good between them. He wonders if there's anything that he can do.
Why does he want to help? Well, because he loves Beth- Jesse. Whatever her name is here. He loves her, even if she's not his to love.
There must be something he can do, something that will make a difference. ]
Why not? Even if- even if you have your problems, why wouldn't he let you read it? You could always just pick up a copy anyway, so why not read his notes?
[ He can imagine her Alan glaring at him and frowning as if telling him not to show her the page, but he's already decided to ignore that, and he holds the page out to her. ]
Go on, read it.
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[ Beth keeps her gaze trained away as her frown deepens. It's clear that the questions Alan is asking are ones she has asked herself. Asked her Alan. No answers come either way. ]
Maybe he's fallen in love with someone else and is just waiting to give me the divorce papers until after "Return" goes public. That way it affect his publicity. Barry would have told him that.
[ I can't think of another reason. ]
So, realized you're not him yet? What about where you come from? Don't you have someone there? Maybe you're also a writer. [ Her eyes close. ] Hopefully it's going better for you. You should go back.
[ Her hand raises and she takes the manuscript page. She doesn't look over it. ]
I don't need him thinking I've betrayed his trust.
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What if that's how Alice felt? What if that's what she wanted to do, except something changed her mind? I don't think she would have ever done that, but... did the Dark Presence try to make me think she wanted a divorce?
The thoughts spring unbidden into Alan's mind, and only then does he find himself having to admit that maybe he really isn't the Alan that belongs here: the Alan that belongs with Beth. And that Alan does belong with Beth. ]
He wouldn't do that. I don't know how I know that, but I'm convinced that he wouldn't. He won't divrce you.
[ Alan's gaze lowers and he finally says the admission out loud: ] I guess I'm not him. But even though I'm not, I still want to help before I have to go.
[ His eyes narrow slightly as he weighs his options here. Should he insist that she read the page even though she doesn't want to? ]
I don't think he'd think that, not after what he's written here. Written about you.
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Maybe he should. It would make him happier.
[ All Beth can see is how the years of living with her have made him miserable. A wife that will go out on night shifts to patrol the woods outside Cauldron Lake. One who works for the government and the local neighborhood watch. A wife who keeps her world hidden at his request. It's had to have broken down their relationship. It feels that initial pull is gone--that gravitational well that drew them together.
I'm the problem. I always have been. ]
It's not your job to fix this. Especially if it can't be fixed.
[ Her eyebrows knit together. Written about her? She's never been in his stories. Maybe a character inspired by her... but never her directly. She gently moves the page in her hand. ]
Alan doesn't put me in his stories. He doesn't believe in any of this.
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