outlierdirector: ▮ <lj user="outlierdirector">. (body▸to run from the light.)
ᴊᴇssᴇ ғᴀᴅᴇɴ | ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᶦʳᵉᶜᵗᵒʳ. ([personal profile] outlierdirector) wrote in [community profile] synthneon2024-04-13 08:24 pm

oceanview || ❝ two worlds colliding, there ain't no bargaining. ❞

OCEANVIEW PATHS

but we can leave our gilded cages.
Two worlds colliding
There ain't no bargaining
No giving in without a fight
CODE BY TESSISAMESS
crazyisinevitable: (0129)

[personal profile] crazyisinevitable 2024-10-26 08:23 am (UTC)(link)
What if he wants to accept it deep down but he's just not ready to? What if... Something has to happen to make him willing to accept that the world is bigger than what we can see. I'm not talking about forcing him to; he needs to realize it on his own.

[ A look of determination slides back into place then; maybe it never left, but it's resurfacing now. ]

I know that; I know it's not like that, but some things last. The things that matter last. The relationships with people who matter... those last.

[ He feels a small sting when he says that, and Alice's face appears in his mind's eye. ]

Maybe back then, he didn't want to use their real names. Maybe they weren't 1:1 for people he knew. Maybe he made them just similar enough that they'd be recognizable if someone looked closely, but he didn't paint a big sign on each one.

[ But he does as he's told and he looks at the different books. It feels strange to him to hold the books and leaf carefully through them. In a way, they feel alive... alive and familiar, even if maybe they're not carbon copies of pages he typed out with his own hands. ]

I wonder if the versions I wanted to write would have looked like this. [ He realizes too late that that sentence probably doesn't make sense to her, and that it raises red flags... If not red flags, then certainly questions. He certainly has questions, but maybe he doesn't have the right to know the answers. ]
crazyisinevitable: (0105)

[personal profile] crazyisinevitable 2024-10-27 05:22 am (UTC)(link)
People change, don't they? I did. I've done it- several times. I used to be an asshole, a really big one. Now... I just want to be normal. Well, I can't be normal, but I want to try and have a semi-normal life. Quiet would be nice too. I know there's no pretending that the world is just what we see in front of us. Maybe... maybe he's just having a hard time admitting that.

[ Now it's his turn for his gaze to drift to one side, and he shakes his head. ]

How would that conversation even go? I don't think we could have both of us in one room, or even should do that. Maybe I could write something for him, or call him on the phone. It's going to sound insane, but I called myself on the phone when- when I was on the other side.

[ He has more questions for her, but he registers the door bell ringing at the same time that she does, and he wonders if maybe he should leave, or wake up, or whatever the hell this is. He stays back in the hallway as Beth moves to the door to greet whoever has shown up.

The voice he hears is a familiar one though; it's one he'd recognize anywhere. The only thing that's missing is the familiar humming that he came to associate with Tim.

He can only hear bits and pieces of the conversation, but it sounds like they're discussing watching the interview, and suddenly he feels awkward about being here. And just like that, he hears her addressing him, and he can't pretend to be part of the scenery anymore. ]


Uh, hi, Tim. How's it going? [ If he just sounds cool and calm, it'll be fine, right? Right. ]
crazyisinevitable: (0118)

[personal profile] crazyisinevitable 2024-10-27 08:28 am (UTC)(link)
[ Of course Alan knows that she's right. People do have to want to change, and he doesn't have enough information here to know whether or not her Alan truly wants to change. He finds himself briefly distracted by the mention of Barry, someone he hasn't seen in quite awhile now. ] So Barry's still around and kicking. That's good.

[ Maybe that means that the Barry I know is all right too. He'd better be all right. ]

Barry or...? [ Of course it didn't escape his notice that Beth didn't finish that sentence, and so he wonders who else she was talking about.

But then Tim speaks up again, and Alan finds himself once again distracted by what the other man says. ]


You know, I don't even remember the last time I really enjoyed Deerfest. I definitely can't remember a time when I had a real vacation, either. [ Too late, Alan realizes that maybe he shouldn't have said either of those things. But Beth knows he's not her Alan, right? Maybe he shouldn't try to carry on the ruse, but he can't help it. ]

Taking an actual vacation would be nice, wouldn't it? [ He glances sidelong at Beth, giving her a halfway warm smile. He doesn't want to overdo it in front of Tim, but he doesn't want to appear stone cold either.

Beth and Tim exchange some words before Beth limps off down the hallway; Alan can't stop himself from frowning. Just because Beth isn't his Jesse doesn't mean that he likes the sight of her walking with a limp or being upset about her strained relationship with her Alan. ]


That's not all she's wound up about, and between you and me, I'm still trying to figure out how to fix that.
crazyisinevitable: (064)

[personal profile] crazyisinevitable 2024-10-27 06:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, I'm glad to know that he's still around, at least for the two of you. The last time I saw Barry, I was saying goodbye, because I had to go. I had to go finish the story and fix the mess that I was dealing with. I don't know where he is now, but wherever he is, I hope he's doing okay.

[ Then Alan gives her an apologetic look and rubs the back of his neck. ]

Sorry, you really didn't need to know all that.

[ Somehow, having Tim and Beth here makes Alan feel... better. Of course, Beth isn't Jesse, and Tim isn't the same one he ran into all over the Dark Place, but they're familiar faces, and both of them helped Alan along the way when he found himself trapped and far from home. ]

A real vacation... That would be nice, even if I have no idea what that looks like. But don't you think it would be weird to go on vacation just as I'm releasing a new book?

[ A flash of an image, or a recollection, or something flares to life in his mind. It's just a series of images and a feeling of being able to just read Jesse and know what's on her mind or what's bothering her. Beth isn't the same as Jesse, but she has some of the little tells that he's come to recognize from Jesse. Maybe he can help her open up and somehow help her with her problems with Alan at the same time. ]

Yeah, the book releases when Deerfest starts. I- Well, I thought it was fitting, and I'm not the greatest when it comes to marketing, but I thought that having it release during Deerfest might boost numbers or something like that. [ He pauses and then he chuckles, still trying to play the part. ] Or maybe that was Barry's idea.
crazyisinevitable: (pic#17165425)

[personal profile] crazyisinevitable 2024-10-28 04:46 am (UTC)(link)
I've been meaning to; there's just been a lot going on since I found my way back home. I do have someone, someone who's been waiting a long time for me to make it back.

[ She's waited too long for him, and he's only continued making things difficult for her because of the difficulty he's having adjusting. He wonders what it will take for him to finally settle down and be normal again. ]

That's a good idea. After Deerfest, people will be busy settling back down after everything. They shouldn't notice if the two of us take a trip. [ As for the rest of Tim's statement, Alan just shrugs. ] Well, we moved into your small town, and sometimes people don't like the intrusion. The least I can do is try to help out somehow.

[ At least, it's not too difficult for Alan to wonder if there's a connection between Bright Falls being the home of a famous author and income from tourism. If he actually lived here, that would be one of his main concerns. Maybe Beth's Alan thinks about that too.

He spots Beth's glance and he moves to set next to her on the sofa. He positions himself a little close, neither too close or too far away.

The interview starts up and Alan's attention turns to the television. He can't remember the last time he watched an interview he gave. The "interview" with Door doesn't really count, not in his book.

The Alan on the screen smiles, at least giving the appearance of being calm and collected but also engaged and just a little excited to be there. If nothing else, he's a good enough actor to pull it off. ]


Well, it's great to be here again, Harry. Thanks again for having me. Two series already. Sometimes I can't even believe it's actually happened. Maybe you should give me a pinch just in case I'm dreaming and can't wake up.
crazyisinevitable: (061)

[personal profile] crazyisinevitable 2024-10-28 07:52 am (UTC)(link)
What do you think, Beth? Would you like to go on a trip? [ He's surprised he manages to even ask the questions without stumbling over his words, because he knows this is all a ruse. He's not her Alan, and she and her Alan are hardly in a place to go on vacation together. I'd hate to see something happen to them like what happened to Alice and me. Maybe vacations just don't go well for me... or any version of me.

His gaze shifts back to the interview. Even if he and Beth's Alan aren't the same, they do share one thing in common: the ability to ham it up for the camera and an audience. ]


I'd say it comes naturally, but that wouldn't be the truth. You don't want to know how many hours I've spent looking at myself in the mirror rehearsing interviews. Yes, rehearsing them. I think I've given enough of these now that I know the basic questions, the questions everyone gets asked. And, well, if there's a question I'm not prepared for... that's what improvisation is for.

Well, thank you for taking the time to read the book. It means a lot, really. And as for an upset agent, I think anything you decided to say would be nothing compared to the things I've said. Oh, that was out loud, wasn't it?


[ The Alan on the TV laughs, and the audience laughs with him. The Alan sitting next to Beth marvels again how easily this all comes to him. To them. It's just like slipping on a mask, and then slipping it back off when it's over. Somehow, Alan doesn't like how easily they manage it. ]

Influences. Oh boy, here we go. [ The audience laughs again before Alan continues. ] Oh, that trip was great. We saw so much, and I took a lot of notes. Too many notes, even. But I can't say anything specific about who and what stood out; imagine the stir that would cause back home. I don't know if I could even walk back into town if I said just who I drew inspiration from and who I didn't. I might even end up becoming Public Enemy #1, if you can imagine that.

[ The audience laughs again, and this time, so does Alan, before he sobers up again and adds: ]

There is one person out there who definitely inspired me and stood out, though, but I'm not sure if I should say who it is.
crazyisinevitable: (061)

[personal profile] crazyisinevitable 2024-10-30 05:43 am (UTC)(link)
Well, that settles that. [ He smiles, but he's serious too. Or, well, as serious as he can be when playing a part. ] How about somewhere with sun? [ He glances at her ankle, as if wondering if warmth would do better for her than somewhere cold or cool.

His words trail off gradually once he notices the changes in Beth's demeanor. Worry replaces any attempts at light humor as the interview goes on. Maybe it's not his place, as he's not her Alan, but he reaches for her in an attempt to take her hand. If she pulls away or gives a sign of not wanting him to touch her, he'll withdraw. But he wants to reassure her, even comfort her if he can. Whatever it is that's bothering her, he wants her to know she isn't alone. ]


Between you and me, I don't have to rehearse much of anything when it comes to your show. But also between you and me, that's something my manager doesn't want me saying, in case it makes other show hosts jealous. How I see it, though, is like this: you've invited me to your shows several times now, and so I just see it as brand loyalty. If someone else wants me on their show, I'm not going to say no. You just get thought of first.

[ The Alan doing the interview just grins and pretends to look slightly worried, as if being afraid of what fallout he might get from Barry later, but he just shrugs that off and keeps going when the show host pulls out the copy of "Return". ]

Hey, would you look at that? You know, I still can't believe it's finally real.

But yeah, small towns are very small, and that's partly why I like them so much. Sure, word gets around, and everyone knows everyone's business, but I don't mind that. Well, sometimes I do, but only sometimes, now.


[ He smirks at the audience, who laughs in response. ]

When I say that I don't know if I should say their identity, I mean it. They're a pretty private person, you know? I'd hate for that to get interrupted because I said something in an interview. Isn't it enough that you all know I have an inspiration?

[ He fakes a nervous look as he stares out at the audience, hamming it up intentionally, although there actually is a part of him that does want to protect Beth's privacy. ]

crazyisinevitable: (0123)

[personal profile] crazyisinevitable 2024-11-03 03:39 am (UTC)(link)
[ If Alan knew that, or at least, had more than an instinctive knowledge that doesn't quite belong to him, he'd insist on doing something to try and help with her ankle. Maybe it won't ever be fully healed, but there's things that could help, right? Massages, heat wraps, heat period...

Maybe it's not his place, since he doesn't belong here, but he can't just ignore that pull he feels to help. And the existence of that pull makes him wonder why Beth's Alan doesn't feel it anymore.

That feeling of needing to do something to fix the problems between Beth and her Alan only grows stronger the more he learns and the more he hears. But what can he do that would actually make a difference?

He looks sidelong at Beth, sensing that maybe she's pulling away from him. She doesn't owe him anything, and she doesn't owe him any favors or any closeness at all. In more than one way, he's a stranger to her, after all. ]


Or we don't have to do that; I just want you to be happy, and I thought maybe a change of scene would do you some good.

[ He's about to just withdraw when he feels her fingers curl slightly around his hand, and his eyebrows lift in surprise.

But before he can do more than keep holding her hand, something seems to shift again, and before Alan even knows what's happening, the conversation on the TV turns to talking about Barry and Alice and how they work together with Alan to get things done, and that feeling of a shift grows even stronger. It's confirmed abruptly when Beth stands up and she pulls away from him, and...

She's gone, heading for the porch. Alan holds out a hand but no words come; they would have been cut off by the slamming of the door anyway, but he made no attempt to say anything, as that feeling of it not being his place grew even stronger.

Then Tim speaks, gesturing to him to stay where he is, and saying as much as well. Alan's posture seems to drop slightly, and without a word, he stands up, crosses over to the TV and turns it off. Once that's done, he returns to where he was sitting and lets out a lengthy sigh. ]


I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do here, Tim.

[ In more ways than one. ]
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[personal profile] crazywall 2024-11-03 05:26 am (UTC)(link)
[ Tim waits until Alan is settled again before standing. He walks over, takes a seat to the side of the author. He sighs lightly and shakes his head. ]

Maybe you should answer the question as to why you're here. With us. [ His eyebrows raise. ] Beth would know faster than any of us... but I can tell you're not the Alan Wake that we all know. You're here in his body, I guess, but you're not him. Too many small things add up.

Like holding Beth's hand for one. I haven't seen Alan do that in... geez, a year? Maybe longer.

[ Tim sighs. ] Look, Alan. I'm guessing that's the name you go by. I'm not sure what caused all their problems. Beth would say it started with this new book. I think it started back with his last book. It didn't go well. It sold good, but feedback was all over the place from what Rose said. He probably felt pressured for the last five or so years to get a sequel out everyone is going to accept.

Plus, the Casey books were made into movies. I know that put a strain on things. They had a Christmas party during production of one of the movies, and Barry was trying hard to get Alan to move to New York or Hollywood for it. Obviously, Alan said no every time, but... well. It's probably best to ask her about it.

[ Tim leans back and gestures to the door that Beth left through. ]

I'd say start by asking what happened to her ankle. She didn't have the limp yesterday.
crazyisinevitable: (0170)

[personal profile] crazyisinevitable 2024-11-04 07:20 am (UTC)(link)
[ Suddenly, Alan feels uncomfortable, put on the spot. Tim's never made him feel like that before, but he's becoming all too aware that this isn't where he's supposed to be. Beth thinks he's an outsider; Tim seems to think the same. Why am I here then? ]

I would love to answer that question, but I don't know why I'm here myself. [ He expects Tim to shoot that down, saying he doesn't believe him, but Alan really has no good answer to give as to what he's doing here and why. ]

So things are really that bad between them. A year or longer? [ Alan shakes his head. He's trying to avoid drawing too many comparisons between this and his relationships, but it's hard to steer clear of it. ]

Maybe that's what I'm here for. Maybe somehow, I can help Beth and Alan figure things out. I don't think this should be the end of them, even though it's kind of not my place to think much of anything. [ He shrugs. ] There must be a way for them to work out their differences and go back to being happy together.

[ Eventually, though, Alan just falls silent and listens to Tim's explanations. It sounds to him that Alan's books and the pressures associated with being a writer contributed to stress in their relationship. The adaptations of the books into movies didn't help either. As for Barry, somehow that doesn't surprise him that he wanted Alan to move away from Bright Falls. It's not difficult for him to imagine that Beth's Alan shot that down every time.

So why did they fall apart so hard? ]


I'd love to ask her about that, but I don't know if she'll even talk to me. Why should she, anyway? I don't belong here, right?
crazywall: ⏲ <lj user="crazywall"> || DNS. (coffee ⧖ i look for drama.)

[personal profile] crazywall 2024-11-04 08:00 am (UTC)(link)
[ Tim nods. The friendly demeanor remains, but, he didn't like hiding the fact he knew that Alan wasn't their Alan. It rubbed him wrong. If anything, this Tim seems the same. Maybe just a bit more aware of the weird and unusual. ]

Well, maybe it has something to do with what both of you wanted? You and our Alan, I mean. Our Alan may have had something you were looking for... and he just wanted out of everything going on. Marriage issues, book tour. That kind of thing. I could be dead wrong. Just, trying to think of what could be the cause of it all. You'd probably have better insight into that than me.

[ His gaze drops and he nods slightly. ] It used to be that they were inseparable. When I first moved out here anyways. If they were both in a room but not together? They'd somehow just naturally gravitate towards one another. No matter what. Now, you're lucky if they're even in the same room longer than formalities. From what I see, anyways. It might be different when no one is around. But, based on her reaction? I'm guessing not.

[ Then, a familiar smile touches his face. He leans back. ] I'm pretty sure she'll talk if you ask her the right way. If you're an author? You'll know the right words to use. She always told me Alan was good at reading and disarming her with just a sentence. Might as well give it a try, you know?
Edited 2024-11-04 08:00 (UTC)
crazyisinevitable: (0105)

[personal profile] crazyisinevitable 2024-11-05 03:10 am (UTC)(link)
[ Alan's feeling of being out of place only grows stronger as he sits here talking with Tim. He's not even sure why, other than that the Tim he knows is just as open as the one he's talking to now, but he's different. This Tim is more confident in how he talks and in how he carries himself; he seems more assured of himself in a world that is more than meets the eye.

... Or maybe Alan's just imagining these things. Maybe his perception isn't what it was. He thinks his perceptions about this Tim are correct, but anyone would say that about their own perceptions of the world and the people in it. ]


Maybe it does. I can't think what your Alan would be looking for that I'd have, but I know that I'd love to have some of what he has. Not the distance from Beth; I wouldn't want that with... with the person I care for most. But everything else? The successful books, the success in general...

I'd be lying if I said I didn't want even a fraction of that. But that's not all; your Alan is normal. Mostly normal, I guess. He- Well... [ Alan's words trail off, because maybe he shouldn't unload his issues onto Tim, who might as well be a stranger. This Tim hasn't dealt with an Alan who's losing his memory. This Tim doesn't know what the Dark Place is. ]

Forget it.

[ He doesn't want to put all this on anyone's shoulders, let alone a version of the Tim that he knows. ]

I'd say something about it being inevitable that all Alan Wakes have problems with relationships, but that's probably not very nice. [ Even if it seems to be true to a degree. Still, I probably shouldn't say that. ]

There must be a way for them to work through their problems. It's not too late for them. [ His expression shifts into a thoughtful one. ] I just wish I could think of something useful that would help.

[ Tim's statement causes Alan to raise an eyebrow. He's surprised that the other man thinks he can do much of anything to convince Beth to talk to him. ]</small. You might be giving me too much credit. Why would she even want to talk to me, much less listen to me? I'll give it a try, but I won't be surprised if she shuts me right down.
crazywall: ⏲ <lj user="crazywall"> || DNS. (listen ⧖ i'm chasing karma.)

[personal profile] crazywall 2024-11-06 08:45 am (UTC)(link)
Maybe there's something to teach him? You'd know him best, I think. Given you're still both Alan Wake. Just slightly different. [ Tim speaks with an air of knowing in his tone. As if, for some reason, he knows more about other versions of people than he lets on. ] "Normal", huh? I'd like to hear more about that later. If you've got the time.

[ Tim nods once more to what Alan says. Not in a sense of knowing this time, but that he is listening and taking mental notes. Alan Wake having issues with marriage. It would track with Alan's character anyways. He's not an easy guy to love (in Alan's own words), but, it also isn't hard to see why someone would love the man. As he saw it? It was pretty easy to tell what about Alan that Beth had fallen in love with.

That had been a pill to swallow for Tim. ]


Talking to her is the best place to start with that. [ He smiles. ] It's good to hear someone else think that it's not over for them. Rose and I are pulling for them... but, I think Beth is on the cusp of throwing in the towel. She's not a quitter by any means. Just, I'm starting to think she feels she's already lost him.

Maybe talking to you is exactly what she needs. Someone who is a little like her Alan but isn't quite him.
crazyisinevitable: (0118)

[personal profile] crazyisinevitable 2024-11-10 12:15 am (UTC)(link)
Like what? Like how to not torch your own relationship? I know that's mean, but hey, I'm not any better when it comes to my own relationships. I guess he needs to know what not to do, but maybe it's too late for that. [ He gives Tim a smile, a genuine one. ] I'm sure that I can make time for you, Tim.

[ Maybe that's too familiar, but Alan can't help it. He is familiar with Tim, even if the Tim that's here is a different one. ]

Okay, then that's what I'll do. Talk to her, I mean. And between you and me, I'd never think it's over for them, not after... well, after certain things. All I can say is, I know someone who never gave up on me, so I wouldn't give up on them either. They can still make it, I'm sure of it.

[ And then since it just feels like the right thing to say, Alan adds: ]

For what it's worth, you never gave up on me either. [ Part of him expects Tim to look at him like he grew a second head, but there's another part of him that thinks Tim will just roll with it and not think it's insane. ]
crazywall: ⏲ <lj user="crazywall"> || DNS. (coffee ⧖ i look for drama.)

[personal profile] crazywall 2024-11-10 09:38 pm (UTC)(link)
I was thinking something more personal? I don't know. Something that no one would know that would help each of you. Not that I know what I'm saying now that I think about it. [ Tim smiles a little awkwardly. ] Whatever it is? You'll figure it out.

[ The smile turns into something more genuine. ] If they had given up on each other? They would have divorced a while ago. They're both holding on for each other.

[ His eyebrows raise. ] Huh. So, you know a version of me? Glad to know I've helped somehow then. Hopefully he's able to figure things out too.

[ Tim leans back into the couch. A gesture is made for Alan to make his way to Beth. They can talk more later. Beth is the main focus right now.

She sits on the edge of the porch, looking out over the forest. Her eyes are red, but any evident of tears has been removed. She doesn't look over as Alan joins her. Still, it's obvious she knows he's there beside her. ]
crazyisinevitable: (0105)

[personal profile] crazyisinevitable 2024-11-12 06:36 am (UTC)(link)
... More personal. I mean, does it get any more personal than being the same person, just from another... timeline. Reality? Something like that. And then there's the question of if he'd even want to talk to me. How would you react if you saw yourself just walking up like it's business as usual?

I was thinking about maybe writing a note and leaving it somewhere he'd find, but maybe that wouldn't work either.

[ Seeing Tim smile makes Alan smile a little in return. He's glad they haven't completely given up on each other. They should be together; they deserve to stay together, and although it's not his place to intervene, this feels like something he can't just let go. ]

Yeah, I do, and let me tell you, he helped me out a lot when I really needed it. As far as I'm concerned, anyone named Tim Breaker is good in my book.

[ He offers the man a wider smile then as he nods in agreement and moves to go see if he can't talk to Beth.

He walks out onto the porch, and he slowly walks up behind her until he's standing almost next to her but a little bit behind her still. ]


... Do you mind if I join you?

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