synthneon | oceanview || ❝ two worlds colliding, there ain't no bargaining. ❞

[ Tim nods. The friendly demeanor remains, but, he didn't like hiding the fact he knew that Alan wasn't their Alan. It rubbed him wrong. If anything, this Tim seems the same. Maybe just a bit more aware of the weird and unusual. ]

Well, maybe it has something to do with what both of you wanted? You and our Alan, I mean. Our Alan may have had something you were looking for... and he just wanted out of everything going on. Marriage issues, book tour. That kind of thing. I could be dead wrong. Just, trying to think of what could be the cause of it all. You'd probably have better insight into that than me.

[ His gaze drops and he nods slightly. ] It used to be that they were inseparable. When I first moved out here anyways. If they were both in a room but not together? They'd somehow just naturally gravitate towards one another. No matter what. Now, you're lucky if they're even in the same room longer than formalities. From what I see, anyways. It might be different when no one is around. But, based on her reaction? I'm guessing not.

[ Then, a familiar smile touches his face. He leans back. ] I'm pretty sure she'll talk if you ask her the right way. If you're an author? You'll know the right words to use. She always told me Alan was good at reading and disarming her with just a sentence. Might as well give it a try, you know?

Edited 2024-11-04 08:00 (UTC)

[ Alan's feeling of being out of place only grows stronger as he sits here talking with Tim. He's not even sure why, other than that the Tim he knows is just as open as the one he's talking to now, but he's different. This Tim is more confident in how he talks and in how he carries himself; he seems more assured of himself in a world that is more than meets the eye.

... Or maybe Alan's just imagining these things. Maybe his perception isn't what it was. He thinks his perceptions about this Tim are correct, but anyone would say that about their own perceptions of the world and the people in it. ]

Maybe it does. I can't think what your Alan would be looking for that I'd have, but I know that I'd love to have some of what he has. Not the distance from Beth; I wouldn't want that with... with the person I care for most. But everything else? The successful books, the success in general...

I'd be lying if I said I didn't want even a fraction of that. But that's not all; your Alan is normal. Mostly normal, I guess. He- Well... [ Alan's words trail off, because maybe he shouldn't unload his issues onto Tim, who might as well be a stranger. This Tim hasn't dealt with an Alan who's losing his memory. This Tim doesn't know what the Dark Place is. ]

Forget it.

[ He doesn't want to put all this on anyone's shoulders, let alone a version of the Tim that he knows. ]

I'd say something about it being inevitable that all Alan Wakes have problems with relationships, but that's probably not very nice. [ Even if it seems to be true to a degree. Still, I probably shouldn't say that. ]

There must be a way for them to work through their problems. It's not too late for them. [ His expression shifts into a thoughtful one. ] I just wish I could think of something useful that would help.

[ Tim's statement causes Alan to raise an eyebrow. He's surprised that the other man thinks he can do much of anything to convince Beth to talk to him. ]</small. You might be giving me too much credit. Why would she even want to talk to me, much less listen to me? I'll give it a try, but I won't be surprised if she shuts me right down.

Maybe there's something to teach him? You'd know him best, I think. Given you're still both Alan Wake. Just slightly different. [ Tim speaks with an air of knowing in his tone. As if, for some reason, he knows more about other versions of people than he lets on. ] "Normal", huh? I'd like to hear more about that later. If you've got the time.

[ Tim nods once more to what Alan says. Not in a sense of knowing this time, but that he is listening and taking mental notes. Alan Wake having issues with marriage. It would track with Alan's character anyways. He's not an easy guy to love (in Alan's own words), but, it also isn't hard to see why someone would love the man. As he saw it? It was pretty easy to tell what about Alan that Beth had fallen in love with.

That had been a pill to swallow for Tim. ]

Talking to her is the best place to start with that. [ He smiles. ] It's good to hear someone else think that it's not over for them. Rose and I are pulling for them... but, I think Beth is on the cusp of throwing in the towel. She's not a quitter by any means. Just, I'm starting to think she feels she's already lost him.

Maybe talking to you is exactly what she needs. Someone who is a little like her Alan but isn't quite him.

Like what? Like how to not torch your own relationship? I know that's mean, but hey, I'm not any better when it comes to my own relationships. I guess he needs to know what not to do, but maybe it's too late for that. [ He gives Tim a smile, a genuine one. ] I'm sure that I can make time for you, Tim.

[ Maybe that's too familiar, but Alan can't help it. He is familiar with Tim, even if the Tim that's here is a different one. ]

Okay, then that's what I'll do. Talk to her, I mean. And between you and me, I'd never think it's over for them, not after... well, after certain things. All I can say is, I know someone who never gave up on me, so I wouldn't give up on them either. They can still make it, I'm sure of it.

[ And then since it just feels like the right thing to say, Alan adds: ]

For what it's worth, you never gave up on me either. [ Part of him expects Tim to look at him like he grew a second head, but there's another part of him that thinks Tim will just roll with it and not think it's insane. ]

I was thinking something more personal? I don't know. Something that no one would know that would help each of you. Not that I know what I'm saying now that I think about it. [ Tim smiles a little awkwardly. ] Whatever it is? You'll figure it out.

[ The smile turns into something more genuine. ] If they had given up on each other? They would have divorced a while ago. They're both holding on for each other.

[ His eyebrows raise. ] Huh. So, you know a version of me? Glad to know I've helped somehow then. Hopefully he's able to figure things out too.

[ Tim leans back into the couch. A gesture is made for Alan to make his way to Beth. They can talk more later. Beth is the main focus right now.

She sits on the edge of the porch, looking out over the forest. Her eyes are red, but any evident of tears has been removed. She doesn't look over as Alan joins her. Still, it's obvious she knows he's there beside her. ]

... More personal. I mean, does it get any more personal than being the same person, just from another... timeline. Reality? Something like that. And then there's the question of if he'd even want to talk to me. How would you react if you saw yourself just walking up like it's business as usual?

I was thinking about maybe writing a note and leaving it somewhere he'd find, but maybe that wouldn't work either.

[ Seeing Tim smile makes Alan smile a little in return. He's glad they haven't completely given up on each other. They should be together; they deserve to stay together, and although it's not his place to intervene, this feels like something he can't just let go. ]

Yeah, I do, and let me tell you, he helped me out a lot when I really needed it. As far as I'm concerned, anyone named Tim Breaker is good in my book.

[ He offers the man a wider smile then as he nods in agreement and moves to go see if he can't talk to Beth.

He walks out onto the porch, and he slowly walks up behind her until he's standing almost next to her but a little bit behind her still. ]

... Do you mind if I join you?

[ Beth doesn't turn to look up at him. Instead, she simply moves to make space for him. Her gaze remains forward on the forest ahead of them. She knows he is going to want to talk. Her Alan used to ask what was wrong. Find ways to get her to talk.

Not so much anymore.

She inhales sharply before glancing to the side.

A tilt of her head away once he's sat beside her. ]

We met at a clinic for artists. [ Beth doesnt give him the chance to ask a question. She figures he'll want the whole story anyways. Which means starting from the beginning. ] He was having issues after finishing the Alex Casey books... and I was there because of... [ Her gaze drops as she lifts her ankle slightly. ] I was a dancer, once. Ballet. Going to go on and be apart of the Pacific Northwest Ballet.

Then, I broke my ankle. Pretty much snapped it. [ Her frown deepens. ] I was nineteen... living on my own. My foster parents were mortified. Not that we've talked since the wedding.

[ Alan has a fleeting thought as he watches her move to make room for him. It's a fool's idea, a ridiculous romantic thought, and there's a part of him that's too pragmatic to even voice it. But the part of him that is actually a romantic can't help but wonder. Maybe he just naturally gravitates to Jesse or Beth in all situations. Timelines. Something.

It's a stupid thought, really, and some internal voice tells Alan he's being stupid. He's not drawn to her in all timelines; they're not some star-crossed soulmates that keep looking for each other. He's probably watched too many bad movies.

With that thought in mind, he resolutely shoves away those ridiculous romantic notions and focuses on the present and on what's real. He doesn't interrupt Beth once, letting her get the whole story out, although she can probably tell from the look on his face that none of what he's hearing makes him happy. ]

I don't even know where to start. The clinic, your ankle... your foster parents. [ Actually, he knows exactly where he wants to start. ] Why would they stop talking to you because of your ankle? Or was it because of the wedding?

Edited 2024-11-23 19:54 (UTC)

[ Maybe they are always attracted to one another. Or, maybe, Alan would need to make the choice. Alice could possibly be the one he is meant to end up with. Beth wouldn't deny the possibility. She's been in a room with both Alice and Alan before.

It felt like she didn't belong even though she was the one married to Alan.

Her eyes tilt upwards. ] They thought Alan was too old for me. He was just after a younger woman for public image. He was famous. Why would he want anything with me other than to benefit him.

[ I never thought they were right. But, now... ]

Not that they'd believe me if I told them that I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Alan. [ She leans slightly to the side. ] A storm rolled in one night. I... hobbled out into it. I had a point to make. He came out into the storm and found me.

[ Privately, Alan knows he likes the idea of htem always being attracted to each other. Even if he was always going to be attracted to Alice and to Beth and Jesse both, that feeling of protectiveness and of love feels to him that it would always be as strong as it is right now. Maybe the only difference is which person he chooses or when he meets them.

He obviously didn't choose Beth, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care about her. He wants to help her since her Alan isn't here to do it. ]

Too old, huh? I could see that. [ He vaguely recalls having a thought about that too, since Jesse is younger than him, after all. ] Did you ever worry about that being true?

[ He knows his own feelings on that score, but they don't matter here. What matters is what Beth thinks and how she feels. ]

You wouldn't? [ His expression sobers just slightly as he listens to her explanation. ]

... You had something you wanted to prove. [ His head tilts slightly to one side. ] What happened when he found you?

I didn't before. [ Beth's gaze turns solem.

It can't surely be simply because Alan wants to protect her. That can't be the only reason why she's been pushed away. There must be more to it. Maybe age difference. Maybe her job. Maybe he has realized he would rather have the life of a famous author celebrity again.

She closes her eyes. The upset should be obvious in small similar ways.

She is Jesse and Jesse is Beth. ]

I was covered in mud. I stumbled down part of a dirt pathway, falling down to the next part of the path. I had a flashlight but no weapon. If I couldn't dance anymore? I was going to prove they existed. [ Beth pauses for a moment. She pulls over her options. Something tells her that Alan will learn either way about it all. ] Alan would tell you my parents died due to crime. People who broke into our house and killed them as they planned to rob the place.

They weren't people.

You didn't before, and now you do, and... is it your Alan's fault? [ He still thinks that he really doesn't have the best record when it comes to relationships. Maybe that's a common theme for all Alans. But whether or not that's true, all Alan can see is the need to fix this. Beth's Alan needs to fix this, but since he's not here, Alan's trying to figure out what he can leave behind that might allow this mess to be repaired.

He goes quiet again as Beth continues to explain, and as she talks, Alan's expression seems to fall, turning more and more serious and grim until his mouth is pressed together into a thin line. ]

... You went looking for Taken. [ He feels a chill come over him, and a sense of anger directed at Beth's Alan. Maybe he has no right to be angry, but from where he's standing, he just let her down. ]

They could have killed you.

I don't know what to think. I don't know why he's pulled away. I don't know how to fix it or if it is even salvageable.

[ Beth's gaze falls. ]

Taken? The Bureau calls them "Shaded Individuals." [ A nod is given then. It works... makes sense in a way. ] It didn't matter to me at the time. I'd either die proving it to myself... or I'd just die. I couldn't dance. My family was dead or was adopted. It was the one thing that was left.

Alan found me in the nick of time. I was angry at him at first. It's not like he understood or wanted to understand. But, he cared. More than anyone else around me at the time. [ Beth lets out a sigh before looking upwards again. ] He didn't stay at the clinic long. He had the idea for his next book.

Edited 2024-11-25 07:26 (UTC)

It has to be; this can't be the end for both of you. It won't be the end.

[ He's confident of that, even though he doesn't know exactly what is going to make the difference for Beth and her Alan. All he knows is that this can't be it for them. ]

Yeah. Taken, Shadowed Individuals... It's all the same thing in the end, I guess. They're not the same people anymore. Maybe they're not people at all, like you said.

[ His gaze falls slightly as the weight of what she's saying sinks in on him. She really felt as though she had nothing left to lose, maybe even nothing left to live for. But... Alan found her. He cared enough about her to go looking for her. That has to mean something, doesn't it? ]

He went to go find you, and then once he did, he just left? Why would he do that? Did the two of you ever talk about what happened?

I'm glad one of us is confident in it.

[ Beth has no idea how to begin speaking to Alan anymore--her Alan. Not without it being something that sounds more like roommates than lovers. Then again, they really haven't been "lovers" for awhile. They haven't even been a married couple for awhile. Maybe it's been past saving for ages and she has been too stubborn to admit it because she still loves him.

She felt like her Alan was trying to reach out to her in the interview. Say something to her or about her... then the conversation switched to his friends. His writing partners. The trinity that puts his stories together and makes them happen. A reminder that she's not in that space and really has no place in it. ]

It was a week or so after he found me that he left. We talked... sort of. He doesn't believe in anything supernatural. I guess he recognized that he saved me from danger but that it was a storm, not something more.

The book idea he had was what became "Departure."

I have to be confident in something, so... Why not be confident in the fact that you and your Alan will be together for the long haul? And- and I'll be confident that I'll find a way to get back to the person I'm supposed to be with.

[ He knows it's not as simple as just believing in it, and of course he can't just flip a switch that fixes all of their problems. Even being a writer isn't enough to make what they both want a reality. It could become a reality, but he can't just force it to be one. He can nudge reality to shift events in ways that might help shift the story, but there's only so far that that goes. ]

What was it that drew Alan- your Alan to you, to start with? Maybe he just needs to be reminded about what that was. [ He smiles, and it's a crooked sort of smile. ]

Look, guys like us- Sometimes we get so caught up in things and in doing things that we forget about what's important. Maybe he's forgotten what's important, and you could remind him of that. If you wanted to.

[ Hell, she could even grab him by the collar and give a good shake to snap him out of it. Maybe that wouldn't help at all. ]

Sorry, maybe you already said, but why doesn't he believe in it? Do you think- If he did believe in it, would it help you be on the same page again?

[ He's really at a loss for something concrete that would bring them back together, but he's not about to give up either. ]

You say that like you're never confident.

[ Beth's eyes remain trained forward. It'd be a lie to say she hadn't revisited how she met her Alan recently. Several times in fact. She chalked it up the longing for what she had. But, life has changed. Alan has changed. She's changed.

There's simply no place for her in all of that. He has the trio he needs to be successful. Not that she was ever apart of it. She isn't an artist or a creator anymore. She can't even dance. ]

I thought it was because we were similar in some way. He's a writer... I used to be a dancer. But, he could still write. I can't dance anymore. I'm just--maybe it was just the fact I wasn't like anyone else. Now, he needs something more relatable. Not weird.

[ She leans forward with her elbows on her knees. ]

Did you always believe in the crazy shit that happens in Bright Falls? Weren't you skeptical at one point? Alan's always been skeptical. There's been no reason not to be. He doesn't want to be apart of that world or even think there's something beyond the poster. I respect it. Not everyone can handle it.

That's the problem. We live in different worlds and there's no real overlap anymore. He has the circle of people he needs to keep the successful life going. He doesn't need the inspiration of Bright Falls or even me.

[ Alan hinted on the interview that he had a muse. Someone who stayed out of the limelight. She doubts she could even be a muse for him now--if she ever was. Not when they can't even speak to one another. ]

Maybe I should let him go... for his own sake.

I haven't always been. there's been a lot of times where I had no idea what the hell I was even doing. You know how some people talk about throwing things at the wall and hoping something sticks? That's been me before. It's probably still me.

[ He wants to help her and Alan; that's obvious, and it's a given. He just feels like he's grasping at straws trying to figure out how, and since Beth doesn't seem to know either, they're basically at an impasse. ]

I can't help you dance again, and I can't really bring you and Alan together if you don't really want that... I mean, if you're resigned to your relationship falling apart. I don't know if that's how you feel, but- I was there once. I thought my relationship was over. [ Turns out it was, but I'm not going to tell her that. That wouldn't help her at all. ]

Throw me a bone or something here, something I can work with. Yeah, I was skeptical; yeah, it took me a long time to accept that the crazy things going on were real. It was all real, and it was happening to people. It was happening to me. Do you think there's a chance that he's accepted it but hasn't actually told himself he's accepted it?

I know I didn't jump right into acceptance right out of the gate.

[ He fixes her with a look. ]

Look, maybe you need to take matters into your hands. If he has a circle of people, then break into that circle. You're with him, you deserve to take your place there. And if there's not a place there now, then maybe you should make one.

[ Alan finds himself shaking his head, slowly at first but growing faster. ]

Letting him go is the last thing you should do.

I'm not sure anyone is going to know what to do right away. It's not like you run into an alien dimension every day if you had no experience with it before. [ Her eyes remain on the sky. ] The Bureau only.has the procedures in place after dealing with so many of them... and usually dealing with them wrong at first.

I never said I didn't want it. [ Her gaze drops, then slides to Alan. It's clear while she hasn't given up? She feels hopeless. She doesn't know what to give him. She doesn't know what needs to happen to fix their marriage. ] Maybe. Maybe it's why he spends more time by himself and then going to New York. Other than the fact he was doing the book tour.

I was apart of it once... even if I didn't exactly fit in. He'd show me manuscripts first. Then, we'd go to New York. Meet with Alice and Barry. [ She shakes her head. ] Then, he wouldn't let me help at all.

Maybe that's what you need to do. If he's spending time by himself, put yourself in there with him. Maybe he'll try to push you away, but you can't let him. You shouldn't.

Look, I don't know what's going on with him, but- if he's anything like me, being alone isn't good for him. Maybe he doesn't want to be by himself, but he can't remember how to ask for something different.

[ Alan shakes his head and smiles a self deprecating sort of smile. ] I don't know about him, but I'm not the smartest guy sometimes. [ Sometimes I need help. I wonder if Alan needs help too. ]

What if he thinks it's too late? What if he thinks you don't want to help anymore?

[ Alan looks to the side for a second, thinking he heard something from inside the house, but then he looks back at Beth, pausing while he waits for her answer. ]

[ Beth blinks once, twice, then stares at the tree line ahead. A hint of a smile tugs at the corner of her lips. A real smile. One that he has certainly seen on a face that belongs to Beth but is far dearer to his heart. His version of her. ]

He had an interview for his book today. Not the one you saw tonight, but, another one. Presumably the one you coat tailed on. [ Then, her shoulders dropped. ] I met him at the car this morning. I offered to drive him into town or even all the way to Sea Tac. If only just to show I was trying to support him in the book tour even if he didn't want me at the interview or the celebrity things.

[ The outcome should be obvious. ]

I don't know what more to do.

Keep doing that. Keep showing up, when you can. Even if he tells you to stop...

[ Alan feels a strange sort of lump forming in his throat and he can't quite put his finger on why. Maybe it's because he wants Beth and Alan to stay together. Maybe if they stay together, they'll have a happy ending. Maybe this is just a rough patch for them that they need to navigate.

It could be a fool's hope to think that he can somehow help, but he's not going to stop either. ]

One day, he's going to turn around and hope that you're standing there. I know, it's not fair to you to keep waiting like this, but...

[ His gaze lowers to stare at his hands. If she's not there when he looks for her, he might never look for her again. ]

Just keep on doing what you're already doing. He'll wake up and see you there eventually.

[ A passive glance is sent to Alan. He's with her now, so, whatever attempts to be made would need to wait until they get him back from... wherever he came from. It's obvious there are things she wants to say; things she wants to share. The problem is that she wants to share them with her Alan. Not that he seems willing to listen or to even be involved in anything at all. ]

Eventually.

[ Beth looks to the side in a familiar gesture. ] What happens if I'm not there for eventually. Not by my choice.

I don't know, are you anticipating not being there for "eventually"?

[ If she's anything like Jesse, there is a good chance that she may not be there for that "eventually". ]

Either way, I'm probably in the way here, huh? [ The only question is, how exactly is he supposed to take his leave when he's not entirely sure how he wound up here in the first place? This could be like something he's written, but he's never actually replaced anyone before that he knows of.

No, this seems like new territory to him, and he doesn't know how he's supposed to navigate this. ]

[ Beth falls into a haunted silence. Maybe they're not visions like Alan has, but, sometimes she has dreams. Things that feel like they're from other places or if she's in another world all together. It's why the concept of another Alan really hasn't phased her. Anything is possible when they're next to a Threshold that can open at any point and effect creative people.

She was a creative person.

Once. ]

I might end up dead. Like she did.

[ It would of been better if it had been a dream where she viewed it from outside herself. Instead, she lived it. She lived having the argument with someone she had never met before. She lived trying to keep a hedron shaped item from that someone. She lived the explosion, the knock back, the end of the altercation.

The gun to her head as it fired into her skull and everything turned dark.

She heard the scream from someone who sounded like Tim.

Then, she woke up.

Every intention had been there to tell Alan. They may have been in separate rooms, but she wasn't the one who wanted to shut down and throw up walls. She wanted to tell him about it just as she would of earlier in their marriage. But, he had already left for New York for the interview on the "Harry Garret Show."

Maybe Alan could see what she did. ]

Edited 2025-01-19 19:25 (UTC)

oceanview || ❝ two worlds colliding, there ain't no bargaining. ❞

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