[ Apparently a novel went wrong. No, it might not be just the novel. It might be the fact she has the job she has. She could quit... do something else... join Rose's neighborhood watch... but would that really solve the problems? Would that really fix whatever is wrong with their relationship? ]
So, you believe you're not my Alan. [ A sly glance is sent to him with a bit of a smirk. Then, her gaze falls again. The smirk disappears. ] I don't know about deserving better.
[ Her shoulders fall. She most likely doesn't deserve it. If losing her family was any indication... then her ankle... why not Alan as well? ]
He probably would say you're just a figment of his imagination and brush off anything you had to say. [ A hand raises and gestures to the window above that leads to his office. A round window. ] Go see what's in his office. That'll answer your question.
I don't know what I believe. [ He sees that smirk, and he doesn't really like it, because it's pretty clear to him that she doesn't believe he's her Alan. She knows he's not, and for some reason, that bothers him. ] What makes you say that? I say you deserve better, not that my opinion means anything here.
He should be treating you better; that's what I'd tell him. Maybe if I wrote down a message and left it for him somewhere for him to find. He'd probably just dismiss it, but what if he didn't? What if it made things better for you?
[ He looks in the direction she's gesturing, and he looks back at her with confusion. ]
Why do I feel like I'm not going to like what I find there? [ But he shrugs and takes a step forward as if moving to do what she said. ]
[ Beth's even stare to him tells him that she doesn't think any of it would work. What hasn't she tried? What hasn't Tim or Rose tried? They're the best friends--minus Barry Wheeler, who thinks Alan never should of left New York--but this wasn't their place to stick their nose in. Beth doesn't even think it was her place to say anything either. Alan is the one that has made all the decisions with no room to argue or negotiate. ]
Maybe you already know something, since you think you're him. [ A hand raises again and gestures to the round window. ] Me telling you won't do any good. We both know that. Who knows? You might find out why you're here and where my Alan has gone.
[ Alan seems to freeze then as a strange image flashes into his mind: a room with two windows and a desk with a typewriter. If Beth notices anything, she might see his face pale slightly, but other than that, he tries not to look too rattled. The image fades from view, but that nagging headache still remains. ]
Yeah, I know. I get it, life isn't a picnic.
[ He sees her stare and he gets what she means even though she doesn't say anything. Maybe it's instinct, or maybe it's that feeling that he knows her well, even if he technically doesn't. Maybe he can just read her. ]
If he won't listen to anyone else, would he listen to himself? Well, himself but not himself.
Maybe I do, but I'm not getting any particular brainwaves, at least not yet. But if I do, you'll be the first to know. I'll be back, okay?
[ He nods to her and then heads up the stairs to the office. Once there, he takes a look around; it's a normal office, looking like it belongs to a writer. He could see himself writing here, anyway. Funny, because he does write here, just... not him him.
There's a picture on the desk that draws his attention: it's a picture of Beth's Alan standing next to her, and both of them are smiling. It's more than smiling; they look like they're laughing. Happy. So what the hell went wrong?
He looks away from the picture and sees a typewritten page on the desk. Alan picks it up and starts to read, and as he does so, he feels a chill creeping over him as if someone's slowly pouring ice cold water over him.
What is this? Why do I know this? Did he write this?
He picks up the page and heads back down the stairs and out the door to the back porch. ]
[ The answer is soft, vulnerable. Truthful. She has no idea what will help Alan anymore. Part of her thinks he doesn't want to be helped and would rather do everything all on his own. Or, maybe, Alan has given up on their marriage and their.... everything. She has no idea on any of it. Guessing has just led her down a path of continual fear and worry.
She watches him move back inside.
The door closes behind him.
Beth waits a moment.
She gently rubs at her ankle. The inflammation is there and pounding. That doesn't matter much to her. She needs to push past it in order to dance again. If she can dance again, then he'll see that she isn't just about her job. She's trying to protect him from the dangers of Bright Falls.
That might not matter anymore. He just--maybe he wants a normal wife. Normal life. Which means being an artist and dancing.
Her hand quickly snaps away once the door opens again. Green eyes immediately move to his paled face. Then, they drop to the item in his hand. Eyebrows scrunch up slightly. ]
A manuscript page? He hasn't let me read anything from his new book.
[ The admission confuses him, but it concerns him more. Clearly things haven't been going well for Beth and her Alan; it sounds to him that it's been a long time since things could be considered good between them. He wonders if there's anything that he can do.
Why does he want to help? Well, because he loves Beth- Jesse. Whatever her name is here. He loves her, even if she's not his to love.
There must be something he can do, something that will make a difference. ]
Why not? Even if- even if you have your problems, why wouldn't he let you read it? You could always just pick up a copy anyway, so why not read his notes?
[ He can imagine her Alan glaring at him and frowning as if telling him not to show her the page, but he's already decided to ignore that, and he holds the page out to her. ]
[ Beth keeps her gaze trained away as her frown deepens. It's clear that the questions Alan is asking are ones she has asked herself. Asked her Alan. No answers come either way. ]
Maybe he's fallen in love with someone else and is just waiting to give me the divorce papers until after "Return" goes public. That way it affect his publicity. Barry would have told him that.
[ I can't think of another reason. ]
So, realized you're not him yet? What about where you come from? Don't you have someone there? Maybe you're also a writer. [ Her eyes close. ] Hopefully it's going better for you. You should go back.
[ Her hand raises and she takes the manuscript page. She doesn't look over it. ]
I don't need him thinking I've betrayed his trust.
No way. That can't be it. That- [ Alan finds himself shaking his head.
What if that's how Alice felt? What if that's what she wanted to do, except something changed her mind? I don't think she would have ever done that, but... did the Dark Presence try to make me think she wanted a divorce?
The thoughts spring unbidden into Alan's mind, and only then does he find himself having to admit that maybe he really isn't the Alan that belongs here: the Alan that belongs with Beth. And that Alan does belong with Beth. ]
He wouldn't do that. I don't know how I know that, but I'm convinced that he wouldn't. He won't divrce you.
[ Alan's gaze lowers and he finally says the admission out loud: ] I guess I'm not him. But even though I'm not, I still want to help before I have to go.
[ His eyes narrow slightly as he weighs his options here. Should he insist that she read the page even though she doesn't want to? ]
I don't think he'd think that, not after what he's written here. Written about you.
[ Alan denys it, but the expression on Beth's face says she doesn't quite believe it. Her chin rests in her hand as she turns her head away to hide her face. He doesn't need to see how upset the thought makes her. ]
Maybe he should. It would make him happier.
[ All Beth can see is how the years of living with her have made him miserable. A wife that will go out on night shifts to patrol the woods outside Cauldron Lake. One who works for the government and the local neighborhood watch. A wife who keeps her world hidden at his request. It's had to have broken down their relationship. It feels that initial pull is gone--that gravitational well that drew them together.
I'm the problem. I always have been. ]
It's not your job to fix this. Especially if it can't be fixed.
[ Her eyebrows knit together. Written about her? She's never been in his stories. Maybe a character inspired by her... but never her directly. She gently moves the page in her hand. ]
Alan doesn't put me in his stories. He doesn't believe in any of this.
And maybe it wouldn't. Maybe it would ruin his life. Maybe it would make yours worse. I don't think that's how your stories end.
[ And if there's one thing Alan knows, it's stories. Some instinct or flash of inspiration tells him Beth and Alan will be all right. ]
Then whose job is it? Someone has to help. I want to help, and maybe it'll turn out that I can't, but I have to do something. Maybe that's why I'm here.
[ His gaze travels over to the manuscript page again before he looks back at her, that old determination suddenly flaring to life in his eyes. It's been a long time since he felt this determined about anything, but now it's woken up and doesn't seem to want to go back to sleep. ]
Well, he did this time, I'm sure of it. Even if this is a draft of a page, I know he was thinking about you.
[ Beth slowly stands, making sure not to put the weight on her ankle. Then, she finally looks back at him. The manuscript remains in her hand but she fixes him a hard stare. A familiar one. One that another red headed woman has given him when her guard is up and she is warry of trusting another. ]
It's our job. Our mess to clean up.
[ A gesture is given to him. ] You're here, and you are an author like him. That means you can see. Can't you? Alan can. He just refuses to recongize it that way. Sometimes what he sees he makes stories based on... or sometimes pieces of them are in his stories.
You know what happens with the Lake then.
So, he wrote something and put me in it. Whatever is on this page hasn't happened.
Yeah, I'm a writer. Not much of one, but other people say differently.
[ He still thinks he's a far cry from being Steven King or any of the greats; maybe her Alan feels the same way. He remembers having lofty dreams of writing great novels and feeling proud of his writing, and while he's not not proud of his books, part of him thinks that dream he had when he first started is a little out of reach now. ]
Maybe, but I'd still like to help. I'm not your Alan, but I can still help somehow. Even if all you do is tell me to take out the garbage.
[ He focuses back on her when she makes that gesture. He sees no reason why he shouldn't be up front with her about who he is and what similarities he has with her Alan. ]
Yeah... I thought what I was seeing was just inspiration, ideas that came from my imagination or things I was seeing or noticing, but it's more than that. It just took me some time to really see it.
[ Then, Alan's expression darkens. ]
Yeah, I know about the Lake. I know too much about it, and yet it seems like I don't know anything about it at all.
[ Then he shrugs. ]
Whether it's happened or not, I think this page means he still cares about you and wants to keep you safe.
[ Alan had never liked the fame trying to be personal, but he's always wanted to be compared to Stephen King. "Departure" was close, but still never seemed to hit the selling numbers of a novelist. Popular and a fan base, somewhat a household name.
I wonder if that's ever been enough. Especially after "Initiation." ]
I just want my Alan back. Even if it means we... don't stay together. [ A drop in her gaze suggests she's certain they'll have a divorce. She won't serve the papers, but she suspects Alan might. ] He'd at least be home.
[ Beth nods slowly. That's what they had observed from Alan--even going back to Hartman's research. ] So, any version of Alan could be like the both of you. Someone who can see. I hope you've figured out how you want to use it.
Sometimes we can't ever know everything about things like the Lake.
[ Beth's eyes narrow. She inhales sharply. Then, she looks down at the manuscript page that was handed to her. ]
Are we really that different? Maybe the paths split at some point down the line, but maybe we started out the same.
[ Alan's expression turns thoughtful again as he considers the problem that Alan and Beth have been dealing with. There has to be something he can do before he leaves, presumably for good. ]
What if something changed? What if it changed, and the two of you stayed together? I don't think you want to let him go, and honestly, I don't think he wants to let you go either.
[ I hope you've figured out how you want to use it. The Master of Many Worlds. All I wanted was to come home. ]
I wanted to use it as a way to bring me home. I don't want power or popularity or anything like that. I just wanted to come home. I just wanted to go back to living. If things happen because of what I can see... that's fine, but I don't want to become... a monster.
[ He's not really sure where that came from, or if it came out of some unspoken fear, but it's not wrong. He wants to be normal. He wants to live, preferably with Jesse. ]
No, I don't think there's ever going to be anyone who knows everything about the Lake or things like it, no matter how long it gets studied.
Those pages, though. I think bad things happened; of course they did. "This story is a monster." Bad things happened, and he was trying to protect you. He's still trying to protect you.
You're not denying what you are. What you can do. What's real.
[ A shake of her head as she glances to the side. ] If anything changes? It'll be after "Return" is released. Maybe even then... He's never wanted into my world. That's fine. I can accept that. But, he won't let me into his anymore. There's no place for "us." There might not be anymore.
[ How could Alan not want to let her go? It's not like he keeps her near him anyways. They live on opposite sides of the house. He brushed her off that morning when she met him at the car to wish him luck at the interview. She knows he hates interviews and public tours, but, it still felt personal. As if he didn't want to see her at all that morning. Or at all ever again. ]
You have a long way to go before you become a monster--in all meanings of the word. [ Beth has a certainty in her voice. She's sure of that fact despite only just meeting him. There's an assurance in her voice just like Jesse has. ] You should go back to wherever you come from then. You "live" there, not here.
[ Beth's gaze scans over the page once more. Her eyes widen and expression falls. Clearly, she's taken back by what is on the page. Eyes go to the top of the page and looks down it once more. The color drains in her face slightly, making her red hair stand out more. Then, green eyes immediately raise to his. They pierce through him as if trying to see something about him that he hasn't realized himself.
Then, with her free hand, she grabs his wrist and begins to drag him back into the house.
Down the hallway to Alan's study.
She opens the door and steps inside almost hesitantly. This is Alan's space--and it's quite obvious she is not to be allowed in that space. Her hand hovers on the door handle before finally gripping it and pushing it open. Once inside she moves to the bookcase in the room--purposely ignoring the typewriter--and grabs two books off the shelf.
I wouldn't deny it; I've seen too much, been through too much... I've seen other people go through too much too. I know it's real, and I know there's real danger out there.
That can't be it; that can't be how your story ends. [ He's not sure why it bothers him so much that Alan and Beth seem so estranged. Maybe it's because he can see himself and Alice in the two of them. Maybe he can see something similar happening to himself and Jesse. He doesn't want that. He never really wanted to be estranged from Alice. It can't happen to Alan and Beth too, not if there's anything he can do about it. ]
There must be a way to fix this. I want to help fix this.
[ The question that remains is how. ]
Anyone can become a monster. Sometimes it takes a long time; sometimes it takes no time at all, but anyone can become one. Alan- your Alan won't become one. I'll go back eventually, but I'm not ready to go yet. There's still things I can do here, I know there are.
[ He watches Beth's reactions, wondering how she'll take the revelation that her Alan thought about her enough to mention her on the page. If he mentioned her there, then there's probably more, right? She continues to react, and he watches as the color seems to drain from her face, worrying him at first, but then she looks up at him and stares at him... through him...
Then she grabs her wrist and he has no choice but to stumble along after her until they reach their destination: her Alan's study. She walks inside, and he follows after her, suddenly uncertain about whether or not he should be here.
It looks familiar to Alan, which tells him that he and her Alan aren't too different in some ways, even if they are in others. Suddenly, though, his musings are interrupted by her handing two books over to him. ]
About me? I guess you could say that. [ The covers look the same, but he wonders if what's written in them is the same too. ]
[ Beth hasn't gone out of her way to force her Alan to see the real world. It's just happened living in Bright Falls. Missing people, legends, rumors, people saying they hear an old hag whispering in the night. Things that press too far against what could be real and Alan immediately denies them. He wants nothing to do with the dark--he never has. ]
Real life isn't a story. Not everything happens on a plot line. Not everything lasts.
[ She gives him a familiar pointed look. ] You would be one already if you were going to turn into it. You've taken Alan's place. That means you're powerful. Or... [ Beth looks down. Frowns in a certain way that Alan must be familiar with. ] You're here because he left.
[ Maybe for good.
Beth watches him closely and the reactions to the books. He knows them. Which means he probably knows the Casey books too. This Alan is an author--or was an author--and can relate to hers through that. At the bare minimum anyways. They're theoretically still both Alan. That might be enough. ]
I read the completed manuscripts before he sent them to Barry to be published. He wanted me to then. [ A glance is given at the manuscript page in her hand. ] None of them had names of real people. Look for yourself.
[ "Departure" features a man who was simply looking for a vacation and wound up in a world much bigger than himself. The unlikely town hero. No love interest is mentioned--Alice, Jesse, or Beth--just a local girl who thought the world of the hero. Then, he sacrifices himself to close the doorway leaking into the town and ends up stuck on the other side.
"Initiation" is the hero attempting to return home. He meets powerful beings. People that could help him escape. A man who shifts through worlds and a woman who has an otherworldly connection who can hear him from the world he came from.
The classic hero's journey.
"Return" is supposed to bring the trilogy to an end.
Why do I suddenly get the feeling this Alan is going to want to know everything? ]
What if he wants to accept it deep down but he's just not ready to? What if... Something has to happen to make him willing to accept that the world is bigger than what we can see. I'm not talking about forcing him to; he needs to realize it on his own.
[ A look of determination slides back into place then; maybe it never left, but it's resurfacing now. ]
I know that; I know it's not like that, but some things last. The things that matter last. The relationships with people who matter... those last.
[ He feels a small sting when he says that, and Alice's face appears in his mind's eye. ]
Maybe back then, he didn't want to use their real names. Maybe they weren't 1:1 for people he knew. Maybe he made them just similar enough that they'd be recognizable if someone looked closely, but he didn't paint a big sign on each one.
[ But he does as he's told and he looks at the different books. It feels strange to him to hold the books and leaf carefully through them. In a way, they feel alive... alive and familiar, even if maybe they're not carbon copies of pages he typed out with his own hands. ]
I wonder if the versions I wanted to write would have looked like this. [ He realizes too late that that sentence probably doesn't make sense to her, and that it raises red flags... If not red flags, then certainly questions. He certainly has questions, but maybe he doesn't have the right to know the answers. ]
No. I don't think he wants to. [ Beth shakes her head. ] Nothing he's ever said or done has given any indication he wants to be apart of this world. That's fine. Not everyone does or should be apart of it.
[ Her gaze drifts to the side then. Another small shake of her head. It's obvious that she and Alan are not one of those things that are meant to last. This Alan thinks otherwise, but, Beth has her doubts. It would track with the rest of her life anyways.
Besides, she's certain there's other people he'd rather surround himself with now. ]
Maybe. You'd have to ask him.
[ An eyebrow raises at his statement. Then again, it makes some sense. If he is the Alan Wake that hers based these books on? He never got to write a successful story after "The Sudden Stop." He was trapped on the other side of the Lake.
Beth moves to speak when the door bell rings through the house. She glances at him again before gently brushing past and making her way (hobbling) down the hall way to the front door. A few locks undone and then she opens it. ]
... Tim?
"Hey, Beth. I know it's sort of last minute. Thought I'd stop by and check out Alan's interview with the two of you. If you don't mind, that is. Probably better watching it with a friend. Right?"
I mean, I wasn't going to watch it. I'm sure Barry would of wanted Alan to...
"It'll give you something to talk with Rose about in the morning. Mind if I come in?"
[ Beth hesitates before looking down the hallway. ] Alan. Tim's here to see the interview.
People change, don't they? I did. I've done it- several times. I used to be an asshole, a really big one. Now... I just want to be normal. Well, I can't be normal, but I want to try and have a semi-normal life. Quiet would be nice too. I know there's no pretending that the world is just what we see in front of us. Maybe... maybe he's just having a hard time admitting that.
[ Now it's his turn for his gaze to drift to one side, and he shakes his head. ]
How would that conversation even go? I don't think we could have both of us in one room, or even should do that. Maybe I could write something for him, or call him on the phone. It's going to sound insane, but I called myself on the phone when- when I was on the other side.
[ He has more questions for her, but he registers the door bell ringing at the same time that she does, and he wonders if maybe he should leave, or wake up, or whatever the hell this is. He stays back in the hallway as Beth moves to the door to greet whoever has shown up.
The voice he hears is a familiar one though; it's one he'd recognize anywhere. The only thing that's missing is the familiar humming that he came to associate with Tim.
He can only hear bits and pieces of the conversation, but it sounds like they're discussing watching the interview, and suddenly he feels awkward about being here. And just like that, he hears her addressing him, and he can't pretend to be part of the scenery anymore. ]
Uh, hi, Tim. How's it going? [ If he just sounds cool and calm, it'll be fine, right? Right. ]
They have to want to change for that. Who he wants to be probably has nothing to do with this. [ Beth raises the manuscript in her hand before gently placing it back on the desk. ] I don't know how you'd talk to him. He probably wouldn't listen. Not unless you're Barry or...
[ Her face scrunches then she sobers. Thankfully, Tim's arrival has made it where she doesn't need to think about the other member of Alan's publishing team. Barry and Alice. The "dream team" that is behind the bestseller. It had never really bothered Beth until recently. She didn't want the spotlight. She attended dinners and events with Alan willingly.
Until he stopped her from accompanying him.
Then it was the three of them at events.
Beth steps to the side as Alan joins them. Tim regards the pair of them before offering a smile and stepping into the house. Jeans, jacket, t-shirt. He's changed out of the uniform of the job to be there informally. ]
"Oh, you know. Always busy around Deerfest. Thankfully people are behaving this year. Probably because they're excited about the new book. They're thinking it's going to bring a lot of traffic to Bright Falls. Not that I'm saying you need to be apart of it, Alan. You're probably going to want a vacation after all this."
[ Tim closes the door behind him.
Beth's eyes narrow to the side slightly. That's how we met. Alan on vacation to change the scenery. ]
"Did I... interrupt something?"
No. Nothing new. [ Beth turns and makes her way, limping once more, down the hallway to the living room. ] I'll grab drinks for everyone and something to eat.
[ Tim watches her go before looking back at Alan. ] "You know? I'm not sure who is more wound up about this new release. You or her."
[ Of course Alan knows that she's right. People do have to want to change, and he doesn't have enough information here to know whether or not her Alan truly wants to change. He finds himself briefly distracted by the mention of Barry, someone he hasn't seen in quite awhile now. ] So Barry's still around and kicking. That's good.
[ Maybe that means that the Barry I know is all right too. He'd better be all right. ]
Barry or...? [ Of course it didn't escape his notice that Beth didn't finish that sentence, and so he wonders who else she was talking about.
But then Tim speaks up again, and Alan finds himself once again distracted by what the other man says. ]
You know, I don't even remember the last time I really enjoyed Deerfest. I definitely can't remember a time when I had a real vacation, either. [ Too late, Alan realizes that maybe he shouldn't have said either of those things. But Beth knows he's not her Alan, right? Maybe he shouldn't try to carry on the ruse, but he can't help it. ]
Taking an actual vacation would be nice, wouldn't it? [ He glances sidelong at Beth, giving her a halfway warm smile. He doesn't want to overdo it in front of Tim, but he doesn't want to appear stone cold either.
Beth and Tim exchange some words before Beth limps off down the hallway; Alan can't stop himself from frowning. Just because Beth isn't his Jesse doesn't mean that he likes the sight of her walking with a limp or being upset about her strained relationship with her Alan. ]
That's not all she's wound up about, and between you and me, I'm still trying to figure out how to fix that.
Yeah. Back in New York. He's tried to get us--Alan--to move back. Probably at least twice a year since Alan moved here thirteen years ago.
[ Beth remains quiet as the two men speak--even as she moves further into the house. Setting things up like she promised. She's never been one that's good at hosting. She tries. Just... People and big social gatherings have never really been her forte. Not even before her family...
Her ankle twinges.
Dancing was just a way to have fun. ]
"Not since I've been Sherrif. So, hell, probably when you first came to Bright Falls? I'd say a vacation is overdue for both of you. Somewhere away from it all, you know?" [ Tim offers a suggestion, yet, his answer seems to also be aiding information. ] "You and I both know Beth isn't the most forthcoming person. Still, if anyone can figure her out? It's going to be you, Alan."
[ Tim follows after him to the living room where Beth has everything set up already. The television is on mute until the evening show airs. Leftovers from the night before are there with some serving dishes and Tim thanks Beth with a familiarity that would imply they've known each other for years. ]
"When is the book hitting shelves?"
The start of Deerfest. I guess. [ Beth looks to Alan to confirm. A small nod of her head to the side. They can play along and keep up appearances. ] This was the last big interview for the media tour.
Well, I'm glad to know that he's still around, at least for the two of you. The last time I saw Barry, I was saying goodbye, because I had to go. I had to go finish the story and fix the mess that I was dealing with. I don't know where he is now, but wherever he is, I hope he's doing okay.
[ Then Alan gives her an apologetic look and rubs the back of his neck. ]
Sorry, you really didn't need to know all that.
[ Somehow, having Tim and Beth here makes Alan feel... better. Of course, Beth isn't Jesse, and Tim isn't the same one he ran into all over the Dark Place, but they're familiar faces, and both of them helped Alan along the way when he found himself trapped and far from home. ]
A real vacation... That would be nice, even if I have no idea what that looks like. But don't you think it would be weird to go on vacation just as I'm releasing a new book?
[ A flash of an image, or a recollection, or something flares to life in his mind. It's just a series of images and a feeling of being able to just read Jesse and know what's on her mind or what's bothering her. Beth isn't the same as Jesse, but she has some of the little tells that he's come to recognize from Jesse. Maybe he can help her open up and somehow help her with her problems with Alan at the same time. ]
Yeah, the book releases when Deerfest starts. I- Well, I thought it was fitting, and I'm not the greatest when it comes to marketing, but I thought that having it release during Deerfest might boost numbers or something like that. [ He pauses and then he chuckles, still trying to play the part. ] Or maybe that was Barry's idea.
You should check on him once you go back to wherever home is for you. Whoever is home--if you have someone. The protagonist in Alan's books didn't have one.
[ Not that this Alan is one-to-one the same as the man in the books her Alan wrote. Something tells her that thr inspiration Alan received was whatever this one went through. How close that is though... ]
"That's why you go after Deerfest. Real quiet like. Make it so no one notices." [ Tim nods. ] "Marketing? Maybe. But, you have been one of the town's big willing promoters since you decided to settle in. At least, that's what all the old timers tell me."
[ Beth quietly sits on the arm of the sofa and Tim takes a chair. She glances at Alan, trying to communicate he can sit wherever he pleases. She isn't going to dictate what he can and can't do in the home. Especially if they have to keep up appearances.
Attention moves to the telivision once the scene changes. "The Harry Garret Show", known for having interviews with each new Alan Wake project. The Casey books, then movies, and now the latest trilogy. Mr. Garret introduces himself, the visiting band--Poets of the Fall--and the big special guest: Alan Wake to promote his new book: Return.
Tim settles in and Beth crosses her arms. Mr. Garret turns and welcomes Alan to the stage, shakes his hand, and the pair take their seat. ]
"Great to see you again, Alan. It's always good to have you on the show. Welcome back and, congratulations on your new book coming up. That makes two completed series for you!"
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So, you believe you're not my Alan. [ A sly glance is sent to him with a bit of a smirk. Then, her gaze falls again. The smirk disappears. ] I don't know about deserving better.
[ Her shoulders fall. She most likely doesn't deserve it. If losing her family was any indication... then her ankle... why not Alan as well? ]
He probably would say you're just a figment of his imagination and brush off anything you had to say. [ A hand raises and gestures to the window above that leads to his office. A round window. ] Go see what's in his office. That'll answer your question.
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He should be treating you better; that's what I'd tell him. Maybe if I wrote down a message and left it for him somewhere for him to find. He'd probably just dismiss it, but what if he didn't? What if it made things better for you?
[ He looks in the direction she's gesturing, and he looks back at her with confusion. ]
Why do I feel like I'm not going to like what I find there? [ But he shrugs and takes a step forward as if moving to do what she said. ]
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[ Beth's even stare to him tells him that she doesn't think any of it would work. What hasn't she tried? What hasn't Tim or Rose tried? They're the best friends--minus Barry Wheeler, who thinks Alan never should of left New York--but this wasn't their place to stick their nose in. Beth doesn't even think it was her place to say anything either. Alan is the one that has made all the decisions with no room to argue or negotiate. ]
Maybe you already know something, since you think you're him. [ A hand raises again and gestures to the round window. ] Me telling you won't do any good. We both know that. Who knows? You might find out why you're here and where my Alan has gone.
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Yeah, I know. I get it, life isn't a picnic.
[ He sees her stare and he gets what she means even though she doesn't say anything. Maybe it's instinct, or maybe it's that feeling that he knows her well, even if he technically doesn't. Maybe he can just read her. ]
If he won't listen to anyone else, would he listen to himself? Well, himself but not himself.
Maybe I do, but I'm not getting any particular brainwaves, at least not yet. But if I do, you'll be the first to know. I'll be back, okay?
[ He nods to her and then heads up the stairs to the office. Once there, he takes a look around; it's a normal office, looking like it belongs to a writer. He could see himself writing here, anyway. Funny, because he does write here, just... not him him.
There's a picture on the desk that draws his attention: it's a picture of Beth's Alan standing next to her, and both of them are smiling. It's more than smiling; they look like they're laughing. Happy. So what the hell went wrong?
He looks away from the picture and sees a typewritten page on the desk. Alan picks it up and starts to read, and as he does so, he feels a chill creeping over him as if someone's slowly pouring ice cold water over him.
What is this? Why do I know this? Did he write this?
He picks up the page and heads back down the stairs and out the door to the back porch. ]
Hey. Do you know what this is?
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[ The answer is soft, vulnerable. Truthful. She has no idea what will help Alan anymore. Part of her thinks he doesn't want to be helped and would rather do everything all on his own. Or, maybe, Alan has given up on their marriage and their.... everything. She has no idea on any of it. Guessing has just led her down a path of continual fear and worry.
She watches him move back inside.
The door closes behind him.
Beth waits a moment.
She gently rubs at her ankle. The inflammation is there and pounding. That doesn't matter much to her. She needs to push past it in order to dance again. If she can dance again, then he'll see that she isn't just about her job. She's trying to protect him from the dangers of Bright Falls.
That might not matter anymore. He just--maybe he wants a normal wife. Normal life. Which means being an artist and dancing.
Her hand quickly snaps away once the door opens again. Green eyes immediately move to his paled face. Then, they drop to the item in his hand. Eyebrows scrunch up slightly. ]
A manuscript page? He hasn't let me read anything from his new book.
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[ The admission confuses him, but it concerns him more. Clearly things haven't been going well for Beth and her Alan; it sounds to him that it's been a long time since things could be considered good between them. He wonders if there's anything that he can do.
Why does he want to help? Well, because he loves Beth- Jesse. Whatever her name is here. He loves her, even if she's not his to love.
There must be something he can do, something that will make a difference. ]
Why not? Even if- even if you have your problems, why wouldn't he let you read it? You could always just pick up a copy anyway, so why not read his notes?
[ He can imagine her Alan glaring at him and frowning as if telling him not to show her the page, but he's already decided to ignore that, and he holds the page out to her. ]
Go on, read it.
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[ Beth keeps her gaze trained away as her frown deepens. It's clear that the questions Alan is asking are ones she has asked herself. Asked her Alan. No answers come either way. ]
Maybe he's fallen in love with someone else and is just waiting to give me the divorce papers until after "Return" goes public. That way it affect his publicity. Barry would have told him that.
[ I can't think of another reason. ]
So, realized you're not him yet? What about where you come from? Don't you have someone there? Maybe you're also a writer. [ Her eyes close. ] Hopefully it's going better for you. You should go back.
[ Her hand raises and she takes the manuscript page. She doesn't look over it. ]
I don't need him thinking I've betrayed his trust.
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What if that's how Alice felt? What if that's what she wanted to do, except something changed her mind? I don't think she would have ever done that, but... did the Dark Presence try to make me think she wanted a divorce?
The thoughts spring unbidden into Alan's mind, and only then does he find himself having to admit that maybe he really isn't the Alan that belongs here: the Alan that belongs with Beth. And that Alan does belong with Beth. ]
He wouldn't do that. I don't know how I know that, but I'm convinced that he wouldn't. He won't divrce you.
[ Alan's gaze lowers and he finally says the admission out loud: ] I guess I'm not him. But even though I'm not, I still want to help before I have to go.
[ His eyes narrow slightly as he weighs his options here. Should he insist that she read the page even though she doesn't want to? ]
I don't think he'd think that, not after what he's written here. Written about you.
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Maybe he should. It would make him happier.
[ All Beth can see is how the years of living with her have made him miserable. A wife that will go out on night shifts to patrol the woods outside Cauldron Lake. One who works for the government and the local neighborhood watch. A wife who keeps her world hidden at his request. It's had to have broken down their relationship. It feels that initial pull is gone--that gravitational well that drew them together.
I'm the problem. I always have been. ]
It's not your job to fix this. Especially if it can't be fixed.
[ Her eyebrows knit together. Written about her? She's never been in his stories. Maybe a character inspired by her... but never her directly. She gently moves the page in her hand. ]
Alan doesn't put me in his stories. He doesn't believe in any of this.
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[ And if there's one thing Alan knows, it's stories. Some instinct or flash of inspiration tells him Beth and Alan will be all right. ]
Then whose job is it? Someone has to help. I want to help, and maybe it'll turn out that I can't, but I have to do something. Maybe that's why I'm here.
[ His gaze travels over to the manuscript page again before he looks back at her, that old determination suddenly flaring to life in his eyes. It's been a long time since he felt this determined about anything, but now it's woken up and doesn't seem to want to go back to sleep. ]
Well, he did this time, I'm sure of it. Even if this is a draft of a page, I know he was thinking about you.
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[ Beth slowly stands, making sure not to put the weight on her ankle. Then, she finally looks back at him. The manuscript remains in her hand but she fixes him a hard stare. A familiar one. One that another red headed woman has given him when her guard is up and she is warry of trusting another. ]
It's our job. Our mess to clean up.
[ A gesture is given to him. ] You're here, and you are an author like him. That means you can see. Can't you? Alan can. He just refuses to recongize it that way. Sometimes what he sees he makes stories based on... or sometimes pieces of them are in his stories.
You know what happens with the Lake then.
So, he wrote something and put me in it. Whatever is on this page hasn't happened.
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[ He still thinks he's a far cry from being Steven King or any of the greats; maybe her Alan feels the same way. He remembers having lofty dreams of writing great novels and feeling proud of his writing, and while he's not not proud of his books, part of him thinks that dream he had when he first started is a little out of reach now. ]
Maybe, but I'd still like to help. I'm not your Alan, but I can still help somehow. Even if all you do is tell me to take out the garbage.
[ He focuses back on her when she makes that gesture. He sees no reason why he shouldn't be up front with her about who he is and what similarities he has with her Alan. ]
Yeah... I thought what I was seeing was just inspiration, ideas that came from my imagination or things I was seeing or noticing, but it's more than that. It just took me some time to really see it.
[ Then, Alan's expression darkens. ]
Yeah, I know about the Lake. I know too much about it, and yet it seems like I don't know anything about it at all.
[ Then he shrugs. ]
Whether it's happened or not, I think this page means he still cares about you and wants to keep you safe.
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[ Alan had never liked the fame trying to be personal, but he's always wanted to be compared to Stephen King. "Departure" was close, but still never seemed to hit the selling numbers of a novelist. Popular and a fan base, somewhat a household name.
I wonder if that's ever been enough. Especially after "Initiation." ]
I just want my Alan back. Even if it means we... don't stay together. [ A drop in her gaze suggests she's certain they'll have a divorce. She won't serve the papers, but she suspects Alan might. ] He'd at least be home.
[ Beth nods slowly. That's what they had observed from Alan--even going back to Hartman's research. ] So, any version of Alan could be like the both of you. Someone who can see. I hope you've figured out how you want to use it.
Sometimes we can't ever know everything about things like the Lake.
[ Beth's eyes narrow. She inhales sharply. Then, she looks down at the manuscript page that was handed to her. ]
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[ Alan's expression turns thoughtful again as he considers the problem that Alan and Beth have been dealing with. There has to be something he can do before he leaves, presumably for good. ]
What if something changed? What if it changed, and the two of you stayed together? I don't think you want to let him go, and honestly, I don't think he wants to let you go either.
[ I hope you've figured out how you want to use it. The Master of Many Worlds. All I wanted was to come home. ]
I wanted to use it as a way to bring me home. I don't want power or popularity or anything like that. I just wanted to come home. I just wanted to go back to living. If things happen because of what I can see... that's fine, but I don't want to become... a monster.
[ He's not really sure where that came from, or if it came out of some unspoken fear, but it's not wrong. He wants to be normal. He wants to live, preferably with Jesse. ]
No, I don't think there's ever going to be anyone who knows everything about the Lake or things like it, no matter how long it gets studied.
Those pages, though. I think bad things happened; of course they did. "This story is a monster." Bad things happened, and he was trying to protect you. He's still trying to protect you.
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[ A shake of her head as she glances to the side. ] If anything changes? It'll be after "Return" is released. Maybe even then... He's never wanted into my world. That's fine. I can accept that. But, he won't let me into his anymore. There's no place for "us." There might not be anymore.
[ How could Alan not want to let her go? It's not like he keeps her near him anyways. They live on opposite sides of the house. He brushed her off that morning when she met him at the car to wish him luck at the interview. She knows he hates interviews and public tours, but, it still felt personal. As if he didn't want to see her at all that morning. Or at all ever again. ]
You have a long way to go before you become a monster--in all meanings of the word. [ Beth has a certainty in her voice. She's sure of that fact despite only just meeting him. There's an assurance in her voice just like Jesse has. ] You should go back to wherever you come from then. You "live" there, not here.
[ Beth's gaze scans over the page once more. Her eyes widen and expression falls. Clearly, she's taken back by what is on the page. Eyes go to the top of the page and looks down it once more. The color drains in her face slightly, making her red hair stand out more. Then, green eyes immediately raise to his. They pierce through him as if trying to see something about him that he hasn't realized himself.
Then, with her free hand, she grabs his wrist and begins to drag him back into the house.
Down the hallway to Alan's study.
She opens the door and steps inside almost hesitantly. This is Alan's space--and it's quite obvious she is not to be allowed in that space. Her hand hovers on the door handle before finally gripping it and pushing it open. Once inside she moves to the bookcase in the room--purposely ignoring the typewriter--and grabs two books off the shelf.
"Departure" and "Initiation."
Beth hands them to Alan. ]
These are about you. Aren't they?
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That can't be it; that can't be how your story ends. [ He's not sure why it bothers him so much that Alan and Beth seem so estranged. Maybe it's because he can see himself and Alice in the two of them. Maybe he can see something similar happening to himself and Jesse. He doesn't want that. He never really wanted to be estranged from Alice. It can't happen to Alan and Beth too, not if there's anything he can do about it. ]
There must be a way to fix this. I want to help fix this.
[ The question that remains is how. ]
Anyone can become a monster. Sometimes it takes a long time; sometimes it takes no time at all, but anyone can become one. Alan- your Alan won't become one. I'll go back eventually, but I'm not ready to go yet. There's still things I can do here, I know there are.
[ He watches Beth's reactions, wondering how she'll take the revelation that her Alan thought about her enough to mention her on the page. If he mentioned her there, then there's probably more, right? She continues to react, and he watches as the color seems to drain from her face, worrying him at first, but then she looks up at him and stares at him... through him...
Then she grabs her wrist and he has no choice but to stumble along after her until they reach their destination: her Alan's study. She walks inside, and he follows after her, suddenly uncertain about whether or not he should be here.
It looks familiar to Alan, which tells him that he and her Alan aren't too different in some ways, even if they are in others. Suddenly, though, his musings are interrupted by her handing two books over to him. ]
About me? I guess you could say that. [ The covers look the same, but he wonders if what's written in them is the same too. ]
Have you read these?
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[ Beth hasn't gone out of her way to force her Alan to see the real world. It's just happened living in Bright Falls. Missing people, legends, rumors, people saying they hear an old hag whispering in the night. Things that press too far against what could be real and Alan immediately denies them. He wants nothing to do with the dark--he never has. ]
Real life isn't a story. Not everything happens on a plot line. Not everything lasts.
[ She gives him a familiar pointed look. ] You would be one already if you were going to turn into it. You've taken Alan's place. That means you're powerful. Or... [ Beth looks down. Frowns in a certain way that Alan must be familiar with. ] You're here because he left.
[ Maybe for good.
Beth watches him closely and the reactions to the books. He knows them. Which means he probably knows the Casey books too. This Alan is an author--or was an author--and can relate to hers through that. At the bare minimum anyways. They're theoretically still both Alan. That might be enough. ]
I read the completed manuscripts before he sent them to Barry to be published. He wanted me to then. [ A glance is given at the manuscript page in her hand. ] None of them had names of real people. Look for yourself.
[ "Departure" features a man who was simply looking for a vacation and wound up in a world much bigger than himself. The unlikely town hero. No love interest is mentioned--Alice, Jesse, or Beth--just a local girl who thought the world of the hero. Then, he sacrifices himself to close the doorway leaking into the town and ends up stuck on the other side.
"Initiation" is the hero attempting to return home. He meets powerful beings. People that could help him escape. A man who shifts through worlds and a woman who has an otherworldly connection who can hear him from the world he came from.
The classic hero's journey.
"Return" is supposed to bring the trilogy to an end.
Why do I suddenly get the feeling this Alan is going to want to know everything? ]
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[ A look of determination slides back into place then; maybe it never left, but it's resurfacing now. ]
I know that; I know it's not like that, but some things last. The things that matter last. The relationships with people who matter... those last.
[ He feels a small sting when he says that, and Alice's face appears in his mind's eye. ]
Maybe back then, he didn't want to use their real names. Maybe they weren't 1:1 for people he knew. Maybe he made them just similar enough that they'd be recognizable if someone looked closely, but he didn't paint a big sign on each one.
[ But he does as he's told and he looks at the different books. It feels strange to him to hold the books and leaf carefully through them. In a way, they feel alive... alive and familiar, even if maybe they're not carbon copies of pages he typed out with his own hands. ]
I wonder if the versions I wanted to write would have looked like this. [ He realizes too late that that sentence probably doesn't make sense to her, and that it raises red flags... If not red flags, then certainly questions. He certainly has questions, but maybe he doesn't have the right to know the answers. ]
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[ Her gaze drifts to the side then. Another small shake of her head. It's obvious that she and Alan are not one of those things that are meant to last. This Alan thinks otherwise, but, Beth has her doubts. It would track with the rest of her life anyways.
Besides, she's certain there's other people he'd rather surround himself with now. ]
Maybe. You'd have to ask him.
[ An eyebrow raises at his statement. Then again, it makes some sense. If he is the Alan Wake that hers based these books on? He never got to write a successful story after "The Sudden Stop." He was trapped on the other side of the Lake.
Beth moves to speak when the door bell rings through the house. She glances at him again before gently brushing past and making her way (hobbling) down the hall way to the front door. A few locks undone and then she opens it. ]
... Tim?
"Hey, Beth. I know it's sort of last minute. Thought I'd stop by and check out Alan's interview with the two of you. If you don't mind, that is. Probably better watching it with a friend. Right?"
I mean, I wasn't going to watch it. I'm sure Barry would of wanted Alan to...
"It'll give you something to talk with Rose about in the morning. Mind if I come in?"
[ Beth hesitates before looking down the hallway. ] Alan. Tim's here to see the interview.
[ Might as well keep up appearances. Right? ]
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[ Now it's his turn for his gaze to drift to one side, and he shakes his head. ]
How would that conversation even go? I don't think we could have both of us in one room, or even should do that. Maybe I could write something for him, or call him on the phone. It's going to sound insane, but I called myself on the phone when- when I was on the other side.
[ He has more questions for her, but he registers the door bell ringing at the same time that she does, and he wonders if maybe he should leave, or wake up, or whatever the hell this is. He stays back in the hallway as Beth moves to the door to greet whoever has shown up.
The voice he hears is a familiar one though; it's one he'd recognize anywhere. The only thing that's missing is the familiar humming that he came to associate with Tim.
He can only hear bits and pieces of the conversation, but it sounds like they're discussing watching the interview, and suddenly he feels awkward about being here. And just like that, he hears her addressing him, and he can't pretend to be part of the scenery anymore. ]
Uh, hi, Tim. How's it going? [ If he just sounds cool and calm, it'll be fine, right? Right. ]
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[ Her face scrunches then she sobers. Thankfully, Tim's arrival has made it where she doesn't need to think about the other member of Alan's publishing team. Barry and Alice. The "dream team" that is behind the bestseller. It had never really bothered Beth until recently. She didn't want the spotlight. She attended dinners and events with Alan willingly.
Until he stopped her from accompanying him.
Then it was the three of them at events.
Beth steps to the side as Alan joins them. Tim regards the pair of them before offering a smile and stepping into the house. Jeans, jacket, t-shirt. He's changed out of the uniform of the job to be there informally. ]
"Oh, you know. Always busy around Deerfest. Thankfully people are behaving this year. Probably because they're excited about the new book. They're thinking it's going to bring a lot of traffic to Bright Falls. Not that I'm saying you need to be apart of it, Alan. You're probably going to want a vacation after all this."
[ Tim closes the door behind him.
Beth's eyes narrow to the side slightly. That's how we met. Alan on vacation to change the scenery. ]
"Did I... interrupt something?"
No. Nothing new. [ Beth turns and makes her way, limping once more, down the hallway to the living room. ] I'll grab drinks for everyone and something to eat.
[ Tim watches her go before looking back at Alan. ] "You know? I'm not sure who is more wound up about this new release. You or her."
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[ Maybe that means that the Barry I know is all right too. He'd better be all right. ]
Barry or...? [ Of course it didn't escape his notice that Beth didn't finish that sentence, and so he wonders who else she was talking about.
But then Tim speaks up again, and Alan finds himself once again distracted by what the other man says. ]
You know, I don't even remember the last time I really enjoyed Deerfest. I definitely can't remember a time when I had a real vacation, either. [ Too late, Alan realizes that maybe he shouldn't have said either of those things. But Beth knows he's not her Alan, right? Maybe he shouldn't try to carry on the ruse, but he can't help it. ]
Taking an actual vacation would be nice, wouldn't it? [ He glances sidelong at Beth, giving her a halfway warm smile. He doesn't want to overdo it in front of Tim, but he doesn't want to appear stone cold either.
Beth and Tim exchange some words before Beth limps off down the hallway; Alan can't stop himself from frowning. Just because Beth isn't his Jesse doesn't mean that he likes the sight of her walking with a limp or being upset about her strained relationship with her Alan. ]
That's not all she's wound up about, and between you and me, I'm still trying to figure out how to fix that.
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[ Beth remains quiet as the two men speak--even as she moves further into the house. Setting things up like she promised. She's never been one that's good at hosting. She tries. Just... People and big social gatherings have never really been her forte. Not even before her family...
Her ankle twinges.
Dancing was just a way to have fun. ]
"Not since I've been Sherrif. So, hell, probably when you first came to Bright Falls? I'd say a vacation is overdue for both of you. Somewhere away from it all, you know?" [ Tim offers a suggestion, yet, his answer seems to also be aiding information. ] "You and I both know Beth isn't the most forthcoming person. Still, if anyone can figure her out? It's going to be you, Alan."
[ Tim follows after him to the living room where Beth has everything set up already. The television is on mute until the evening show airs. Leftovers from the night before are there with some serving dishes and Tim thanks Beth with a familiarity that would imply they've known each other for years. ]
"When is the book hitting shelves?"
The start of Deerfest. I guess. [ Beth looks to Alan to confirm. A small nod of her head to the side. They can play along and keep up appearances. ] This was the last big interview for the media tour.
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[ Then Alan gives her an apologetic look and rubs the back of his neck. ]
Sorry, you really didn't need to know all that.
[ Somehow, having Tim and Beth here makes Alan feel... better. Of course, Beth isn't Jesse, and Tim isn't the same one he ran into all over the Dark Place, but they're familiar faces, and both of them helped Alan along the way when he found himself trapped and far from home. ]
A real vacation... That would be nice, even if I have no idea what that looks like. But don't you think it would be weird to go on vacation just as I'm releasing a new book?
[ A flash of an image, or a recollection, or something flares to life in his mind. It's just a series of images and a feeling of being able to just read Jesse and know what's on her mind or what's bothering her. Beth isn't the same as Jesse, but she has some of the little tells that he's come to recognize from Jesse. Maybe he can help her open up and somehow help her with her problems with Alan at the same time. ]
Yeah, the book releases when Deerfest starts. I- Well, I thought it was fitting, and I'm not the greatest when it comes to marketing, but I thought that having it release during Deerfest might boost numbers or something like that. [ He pauses and then he chuckles, still trying to play the part. ] Or maybe that was Barry's idea.
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[ Not that this Alan is one-to-one the same as the man in the books her Alan wrote. Something tells her that thr inspiration Alan received was whatever this one went through. How close that is though... ]
"That's why you go after Deerfest. Real quiet like. Make it so no one notices." [ Tim nods. ] "Marketing? Maybe. But, you have been one of the town's big willing promoters since you decided to settle in. At least, that's what all the old timers tell me."
[ Beth quietly sits on the arm of the sofa and Tim takes a chair. She glances at Alan, trying to communicate he can sit wherever he pleases. She isn't going to dictate what he can and can't do in the home. Especially if they have to keep up appearances.
Attention moves to the telivision once the scene changes. "The Harry Garret Show", known for having interviews with each new Alan Wake project. The Casey books, then movies, and now the latest trilogy. Mr. Garret introduces himself, the visiting band--Poets of the Fall--and the big special guest: Alan Wake to promote his new book: Return.
Tim settles in and Beth crosses her arms. Mr. Garret turns and welcomes Alan to the stage, shakes his hand, and the pair take their seat. ]
"Great to see you again, Alan. It's always good to have you on the show. Welcome back and, congratulations on your new book coming up. That makes two completed series for you!"
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