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synthneon2023-12-08 03:31 pm
outlierdirector) wrote in synthneon2023-12-08 03:31 pm
oceanview || ❝ made a promise i'm coming out alive. ❞
Through the waves, I break
The nightmares finally over
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Scratch. It's him. He's here. Well, he's always here. But what does he want? If it's me he wants, why didn't he just- Wait.
Alan's eyes have darkened a little more than their usual gray, but he tries to push back against the feeling that something inside him is stirring. That something isn't focused on him this time. No, it's focused on something else. On someone else.
You can't have her. You can do whatever you want to me, but you CAN'T have her.
But it seems that there's not much Alan can do right now except watch as Jesse's eyes widen with what seems like realization. He sees the Service Weapon appear in her hand, and that's yet another indication that things are very not good. But what can he do? What can he do to keep whatever is happening from happening? ]
... Jesse?
[ This is not good. I know it's not good. What the hell? What the actual hell is- No, that's not helping. I have to do something.
...but what? I can't do anything. Or does he want me to think I can't do anything? Why can't you just leave us alone? ]
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« No, no. That's not right either. He's not really here... is he? Despite how real it felt? It was like an echo. A recording. Something that already happened. Was it between the loops? How... how did he find me? He caught me--has caught me. Us. Thrown us back to the start? I'm not sure I understand. When was I running from Scratch? »
She can still feel the ice cold feeling on her back, despite pushing against Alan. That feeling that Scratch is there in the room, gleeful at it all, grabbing her arm to pull her into the Darkness. He isn't, of course, but the echo curls through the Hotline.
« It's not an echo. We're resonating the same way to keep memories between the loops. Pieces of moments filtering through realities to be remembered. We're on the same frequency that we were. That's how... but why? »
『 So... you know me, but not me. Another me. This story really is insane. 』
Jesse's gaze moves in front of her at the sound of the different voice on the Hotline. Alan's voice. She can see him in front of her... but he's younger. In the jacket she knows so well and loves seeing him in. She feels the weight of his hand against the one holding the Service Weapon.
Then, he's gone. The weight of his hand is gone.
The icy chill remains. Her hold on her Alan remains.
The wound on her head begins to pound.
『 This is MY story. If you won't get out of it? Then, youre like everything else. Money, fame, love, accpetance, Alice. YOU. 』
Jesse feels a bolt of terror move through her then. Despite standing to the Darkness of the morgue? She takes that step back to Alan. Her back presses against his front and the hand holding his begins to shake.
« Turn it off! Turn the Hotline off! Please, please, you can't let him in. You can't let IT in. That's the same feeling from the room he writes in. The feeling of It trying to get in--but it's him. It's Scratch. You have to block it out! »
Polaris flares up around Jesse. Her head ducks to the side, the hand with the Service Weapon grabbing at her head. She folds over, letting go of Alan's hand the moment her knees hit the ground. Both hands press to the flooring under her as if to channel her friend. ]
Alan... he's--he's here. I don't know how, but--
[ 『 JESS. Make it easy! Stop fighting me! 』
Her head throbs in agony and she lowers it feeling blood run down her cheek.
« Stop it. Stop it. Stop it...!! »
Her voice cracks as she feels pressure in her own head build. ] Alan!
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I won't let you take another hit for me. [ I can't even say that I'd rather die, because if I died, then Scratch would win.
He can't really tell what's happening, but all he knows is that it's not good. In fact, the lingering feeling in his mind is something he knows all too well, and it only makes more of a cold sweat break out over him. It's how he feels when the Dark Presence is trying to possess him again, except this time... it's different. It's still there, but it doesn't feel as though he's the target. But then who is the target?
Oh. Oh, no. No, I won't let this happen. It can't happen. Polaris, please do something to stop it!
Alan's eyes widen with panic and dread and fear, and as soon as he registers that Jesse's let go of his hand and is dropping to the floor, he instantly follows, dropping to his knees as well. ]
Polaris, you have to stop him! [ He's powerless to do anything, he always has been when it comes to possession. But Polaris is a resonance, and she cancels out the darkness. Wait... darkness. Light cancels out darkness.
Polaris, can you make the light brighter? Stronger?
He's not her vessel, but maybe she can resonate with the light inside him to make something happen.
Shit. Shit, this is bad. Please do something, Polaris..! ]
Jesse, I'm- I'm right here. [ And useless. I can't do anything by myself. We're going to run out of time. ]
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« He found us again. How? Is he here in Bright Falls? It must be the threshold. Scratch must have crossed over at some point. But... why... why is he coming after us again? It cant just be because you interact with the Light. He SAID everything in the story was his. Including us. He wants us. Why? He--he killed me before. I don't understand! »
As if it's an answer to Alan's please, Jesse's hand raises and grabs onto his again. She pulls him down beside her. Both hands go to the top of his and press down on the floor below them. He's the Champion of Light. He can't command Light, but he can channel and focus it in a fight. He just needs to realize that's what she needs him to do. Then, Polaris can resonate with it...
『 Running back to him? He can't do anything for you, Jesse. You do know that, right? He isn't coming home because he's given up. Alan Wake is never going home. 』
Jesse's eyes snap open at the statement. Alan said something similar, didn't he? When she was in the writer room with him. The Dark Presence made him say it--tried to convince him of it.
« No, he's coming home. He promised! »
Her head pounds more, but she pushes through it. The blood running down her cheek comes off her face onto the ground beneath her. Polaris channels further into the morgue, trying to cleanse it of the other alien resonance. It's so taxing. ]
I need your help, Alan. I can't--not on our own. She's not the opposite. I need...
[ « I need the Champion of Light who can use his words as a weapon. » ]
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He needs to go. Scratch needs to go, to leave her alone. It's not just about me this time. He's doing something to her, trying to get to her, to lure her into trusting him. But how can she trust him? She can't. She shouldn't.
He knows what he's afraid of: it's more than just a fear of Scratch. It's a fear that Jesse might overdo it, or the connection she seems to have with otherworldly things might overpower her. What if it kills her? That blood running down her face does nothing to convince him that his fears are wrong. ]
I don't know what I can do but I'll- Wait.
[ Alan knows what he must do; the idea comes to him in an instant. The battle they're facing is no different from all the other times that he's faced a Taken, or a crowd of them. All it requires is focus, which might seem like no simple feat, and in a way, it isn't, but he can do it if he just sets his mind to it. His eyes slide closed in concentration, and in his mind, he sees a fire. A flashlight. Anything that gives off light. The image forms in his mind, and he hears the words that describe it, and in a way, he incepts the idea that he's trying to use to their advantage.
Form the image in their minds. They make it, you just imply. Incept.
He remembers those words. He's relying on that idea now, except he's the target of his own attempt at forming a specific image. He just hopes that this works. ]
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« Just some twisted reflection. Like the mirror me when the Hiss infected it. I've never thought he's Alan or could be in the place of him. It's some puppet of the Dark Presence--what it wants to turn Alan into. All the worst parts of him brought up into one ugly mess. Alan's an ass, but he's not anything like this monster. I know it.
Even if no one else does. »
She presses the palms of his hands down onto the flooring below them. It's familiar--an echo of something they've done before in another loop around. Her hands rest on top of his, head lowered, shoulders beginning to shake from the sheer weight Scratch is pressing down on her through the Hotline.
Not just the Hotline--the space around them.
« Come on, Alan. I know you can do it. »
Just as if he were holding a flashlight, the light above them focuses and narrows. The beam brights and intensifies. Jesse nor Polaris waste any time. The light in the room suddenly becomes near blinding as the guiding star resonates with the other force in the room. The sheer amount of power crossing through Jesse's hands can be felt, and the geometric light pattern seems to leave in between the light rays.
A roaring scream echoes through the Hotline and Alan's mind. Scratch cursing intermingled with it. A flash of light fills the entire morgue and causes the double to retreat for now. The Dark Presence flees the Sherrif's Station with the morning light casting over Bright Falls.
Jesse's whole body trembles from the sheer exertion of power that left her. Her hands squeeze his even as she slightly falls down to her side. Her breathing is uneven, and the wound on the side of her head still bleeding. Regardless of the small details Jesse opens her eyes and looks up at him. She smiles despite the obvious strain, exhaustion, and pain she's physically in. ]
...and you think we can do this without you? [ She raises her hand to his arm and gently swats at it. The motion is half-hearted and joking. Not that she has the energy to do more than that. ] Polaris... you do know she only resonates with a similar frequency... right? She can't--she can't push the Darkness away on her own. We need you to do it. So we can make you stronger.
[ Her eyes seem to light up at him. She loves him, obviously, but it's clear in that moment she's proud of him. ] Alan Wake, the Chamoion of Light.
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Suddenly it seems as though his senses have been dialed up to 11. He's more aware of sensations and feelings, and he's keenly aware of Jesse's hands on his. He also can feel without even really seeing it that power is rushing through him. Is this what being Champion of Light means? What it feels like?
He's felt similar things before, but it's never been this strong, at least not that he can remember. The power continues to travel through Jesse's hands, but Alan's attention is pulled away the moment the scream echoes through the Hotline and through his mind, causing his head to immediately pound. Scratch's curses echo too, but Alan pays them no mind. They're close to driving the demon off, so there's no time for letting up.
And then, just like that, it's gone: Scratch is gone, and the Dark Presence flees as well. Alan's reaction is instant. He moves closer to Jesse even though they're already practically right next to each other. It's obvious she's going to need to rest after this, and he's determined to make sure that she does.
He gives his head a half shake, but he just smiles at her, a worried expression clear in his gaze. ]
That wasn't me, not entirely. The two of you did all the heavy lifting. I wouldn't be stronger without you.
[ He might have the title of Champion of Light, but the true champions are Jesse and Polaris. But he does want to use whatever strength he has, so he reaches for her, intending to slide one hand behind her back and the other beneath her legs so that he might carry her to the nearest couch. A bed would be preferable for her recovery, but if he can't locate one of those, a couch is the next best thing. ]
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[ If what he had focused and been weaker, then they would still be struggling. Alan is stronger than he knows. She wonders if he'll ever see it.
« I hope he does. »
Where Jesse might normally hold her hand up for the help, she practically falls into the offered embrace. She knows she's not in the condition to insist otherwise. Her hand instead raises to gesture up to the floor above them. There's no real comfortable places in a morgue... and, well, she's sure Samuels will want to take a look at the two of them.
Her head rests against his shoulder. Jesse hates when her body feels like this. Sluggish, slow, unable to do anything. The Dark Presence has tested her limits and Polaris has drained her. It was bound to happen eventually in one of the loops.
« The story really is fighting us to keep Alan, isn't it? That's fine. It can fight all it wants. I'll keep fighting so he can focus on what he needs to do. He won't like the idea, but, it's what WE can do for him.
Have... have we already been doing this? Between the loops? Is that why Scratch is hunting us? It's different now. It's not... he's not trying to kill us now. He's... »
Jesse doesn't even want to finish the thought to Polaris. He's trying to take us for his own.
Her green eyes slide back up to Alan as she does her best not to feel like dead weight in his arms. She knows he's not going to like what she has to say. All she can hope is that he won't spiral out and let the waves take him away when she tells him. She's not in the position to pull him back out.
« Maybe that was part of Scratch's plan all along. If so? We know it's a trap and can avoid it. »
Jesse pulls her arms up once they get to the base of the stairs. ]
I think... [ Her gaze drops, but her voice is soft and quiet again. ] I think he's caught us between the loops. Polaris and I. I just--I don't remember everything. It's like a dream and trying to get the details is hard... but, I think, he's been trying to stop us. And he has stopped us. When we've been trying to reach you.
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[ He silences for a moment when Jesse all but falls into his embrace. Now isn't the time for his worries and musing aloud. She needs support, she needs him to be strong. If he loses himself in his thoughts, he won't be any use to her at all. But once he finds his voice again, he knows immediately what to say. ]
You're going to get looked at by... I don't remember his name. But once he's finished, I'm finding somewhere for you to rest. You're going to rest, and I'll make sure that no one interrupts.
[ Because it doesn't take a genius to see that she's been through a lot, and not just in this loop. That's my fault, but I can't stop to start blaming myself again. That's not what she needs.
If he could do it and still maintain his hold on her, he'd brush a hand against her forehead and over her hair in a reassuring gesture. He just hopes the look in his eyes is reassuring enough.
They reach the base of the stairs and he feels her shift, noting how she moves her arms. ] Hold still. You've been through the wringer, and you need to just rest.
[ Somehow, those words feel familiar to him, but he doesn't stop to focus on them. He's about to move them up the stairs when it registers just what she's saying. ]
... He caught you? [ It takes a moment for what she's saying to sink in, and then his expression changes. The implications of what she's saying have dawned on him, and his mind only reaches one conclusion: he caught her and Polaris, and it's his fault. ]
I think... [ His tone is quieter now, and the look of guilt is clear in his eyes. ] I think that you should stop, at least for awhile. Stop trying to reach me. It's not safe for either of you.
[ And I can't live with myself knowing they've been caught because of me. ]
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[ Jesse's eyes hold nothing but love and trust. She's sure he'd insist she shouldn't trust him. Yet, she does, which is why she does lower her arms to rest across her. He may not be able to brush her hair away, but she can tell the gesture he means by his own gaze. ]
He'll insist that I do rest--Samuels. Steve too. [ Her eyes slide closed for a moment to simply enjoy the feeling. It feels as if it's been years since Alan was like this: in control, awake, able to fight the night's terrors. She's missed it--missed him being himself. ] I think so.
[ « I'm sure he did. More than once. He won't stop even if we do. He wants us. »
She raises her hand again, this time in order to brush along his jawline. A soft touch and one that's similar to how Polaris will nudge at his mind. Her eyes lock onto his once he looks back at her. ]
It's the last loop, right? That means we won't need to try and reach you. [ She sounds confident in the fact that it's their last time around. It feels like it is. Everything is lining up the right way. It feels right. The same way knowing Polaris and all this weirdness is real feels. ] Alan. I don't think he would stop even if we did. He...
[ Her gaze drifts to the side. ] He's different now. From the first time around, I mean. When he... you know. I don't know why or how. But, it's not after us the same way.
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[ He tries to push away the doubt and fears so that he can focus on her, because right now, she is more important. ]
Good, because you don eed to rest. No arguments. [ His eyes light up just a fraction as a hint of a teasing tone comes into his voice, even though he's serious about her resting as long as she can. ]
Well, that has to stop. I don't know how, but he can't catch you. He can't have you. [ Even if it means that I can't have her either, there has to be a way to keep Scratch from reaching her and Polaris. ]
I hope it's the last loop. It feels like it could be, but- [ Feelings don't mean something is reality. He wishes he could be as confident as she seems to be, but maybe her confidence can be enough for both of them. ]
There has to be a way to stop him. There has to be something I can do. [ But what? I can't create shields to protect her. I can't- I don't know what I can do. ]
Even if it's different, I- [ I what? I don't own her. I can't say "I don't want him to have her", as if she's something I own. ]
I just hate the idea of him being after you.
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A smirk is returned for the teasing tones and light in his eyes. She won't argue, which is why no protests or anything else are made. ] You better plan on resting too. You need it more than me.
We just need to make it the last loop. It feels... it feels like everything is finally lining up how it needs to be. [ Her head tilts more into his shoulder as a wave of dizziness hits her despite him carrying her. Probably from the blood loss. ] We just need to make the story make what we want real.
[ Jesse's eyes slip close as they continue up the stairs. She's no mind reader, despite all her amazing powers. It's obvious, to her anyways, that Alan is protective of her. They're together. A pair, a unit. It'd be natural for him to feel ... territorial. She's not sure if it's the right word. A relationship like this is foreign to her. He would know better. ]
Even if he caught us... I'm not sure he had us. I know, it doesn't make sense. But... we're here with you, not him. He found us but couldn't hold onto us. It must have pissed him off.
Not that I'm sure I know why he'd want us. I mean, that wasn't what he wanted in the start. Given what happened the first time. [ Her eyes open slightly and drift up to his. ] We--I'm not his to have or to take. I made my choice already.
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No, I don't. You had it worse; you got hit harder. [ She's resting and that's the end of it.
He knows he'll always put her first, no matter what he's feeling or how bad he feels. He can't make it without knowing she's alright. ]
It does feel that way, but I'm- Well, I'm worried about the rug getting pulled out from under us again. [ His hold on her tightens when he feels her tilting her head more into his shoulder. He's not about to let her go, not from his hold and not from his life. Her condition doesn't seem life-threatening, and he wouldn't allow himself to think that way anyway, but he can't help but feel a little scared. ]
I think with your determination, you could make that happen.
[ He quiets for a second or two as they make their way up the stairs, and once they're at the top, he says: ]
I wonder if it's my fault. I wonder if he figured out how important you are to me; not that it's hard to figure out, but- he put it together, and decided that now he doesn't want... You know. He wants to win you over to his side, because if I want to be with you so much, it must mean something.
[ She is worth having, but he can't have her. Unless she wants to- No, she wouldn't. That's impossible. ]
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[ A smile tugs on her face at his worry. ] Well. Good thing I can float us both in the air if it does end up pulled out. That'd really piss off the Dark Presence.
[ Her eyes drift down at his comment. She can't deny that the possibility is there. If Scratch is really his doppleganger? He'd want everything in Alan's life. Which means at some point he wanted Alice like he apparently now wants her. She frowns slightly. Alice seems to be a missing hole in all this. She can't seem to get anything about Alice Wake in terms of information--maybe because the story is blocking it. Why would it block it? Wouldn't Scratch be after Alice the same way...?
She closes her eyes as her head pounds.
« Okay. We'll think about it later, I guess. »
The hand at his jaw brushes against his beard once more. Jesse meant it when she said she made her choice. That choice is Alan. She's smart enough to know who Scratch is and how he isn't the man she loves. Scratch, in her mind, is just as pale of an imitation as the esseJ in the Antique Mirror back in the Oldest House. Something that really isn't the person they're reflecting and thus takes on a life of its own. Never quite the original, but always wanting to be it. ]
Well, I doubt "his side" would make room for Polaris. [ A light movement of her head is given to indicate a shake. ] Which means it's going nowhere.
[ Realizing they're at the top of the stairs, Jesse raises the hand from his jaw. Her fingers make a motion and the door opens for him. She lowers her hand to rest along her stomach then. Alan will fuss enough that she's even used her powers to open the door with his hands full. Anything more than that might set him over the edge.
Voices filter in from the hallway. Footsteps, and then Steve is in the hallway with his hand now wrapped appropriately. He stares, looking from Alan, then down to Jesse in his arms, then back to Alan. ]
I leave you kids alone for five minutes...
Steve. [ Jesse would roll her eyes, so instead, her tone will have to show the irritation at his dad jokes and tones at the moment. ] Basement is cleared out now. Anything that gets in it won't be getting along with Polaris down there.
Right. [ Steve sighs and shakes his head. He motions then for Alan to follow after him. ] Samuels it is for the both of you. Shit, boss.
I'm fine.
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I don't mind. The floor is fine. [ How many times did I end up on the floor in the Writer's Room? I don't remember, but I know I've been there. ]
Well, I'm all for payback, but the Dark Presence bites and has sharp teeth. Do something like that, and it's bound to bite back. [ I'd let it bite me first before it ever got a chance at taking out Jesse.
The Dark Presence isn't dragging him away or forcing his head underwater, but Alan's suddenly finding himself having to wrestle with the old fears and worries that are trying to rise to the surface again. He can't let them; he doesn't want to. He just wants to be here, awake and mostly safe for the moment, and more importantly, he wants to be here with Jesse and for her.
He smiles when he feels her brushing her hand against his jaw and his beard; he really likes how that feels. It's strange, maybe even silly, but it relaxes him. She relaxes him, calms him down when he's letting fear take hold. ]
But is that enough to stop him? That's what I don't know. If he wants something bad enough, I think he'd do anything to get it. But I can't do anything about that now, can I? So let's focus on you getting the rest you need, and we'll figure that out later.
[ Otherwise Alan will just end up getting lost in his own mind trying to find ways to come to terms with this.
And as predicted, when he realizes that Jesse used her abilities to open the door, he glances down at her with his eyebrows raised, indicating his slight disapproval. She's used up enough of her resources already. He could've found a way to open the door even with his hands full. But it doesn't matter now, and he doesn't have time to comment on it, as Steve has just joined them in the hallway. ]
Hey, Steve. [ He shakes his head and rolls his eyes in a half-exasperated gesture. ] She needs it more than me. Whatever she did during the fight took it out of her. Again.
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I'd say we could find a bed, but... time doesn't seem to be on our side this loop. [ An uncomfortable sigh escapes as her head pounds. ] Well, I've fought against plenty of paranormal entities. It'll just be the latest one on the list.
[ She instinctively curls into him by just a fraction at the commentary about Scratch. While she will fight him and face him head on? She won't deny that Scratch scares her. How could he not? He brutally murdered her in the first loop. Now, he's obsessing over her? It sets all the warning bells off in her mind and makes every part of her skin crawl.
Jesse's eyes snap up to Alan at "Again." It ruffles her feathers, but, it's clear that she's not disagreeing. Rather, she doesn't like it being brought to attention. He just isn't wrong, so there's no reason to be upset. Just annoyed at the situation. ]
Yeah. I can tell. [ Steve just grins at the pointed look from the Director. ] It's not surprising. Seems like your dark spooky cloud isn't really friends with our home resonance.
[ Steve leads Alan down the hallway and into the now overly familiar main lobby of the Sheriff Station. Samuels and Estevez look up, both completely baffled by the site in front of them. Samuels directs Alan to set the Director down, sitting up, so he can begin examining the head wound. Jesse seems almost like an annoyed child by being examined so closely, but, she doesn't put up much of a fight.
The wound is caused by blunt trauma, but Samuels can't identify what weapon it was exactly. They'd need to stitch the wound. Thankfully they have some medical equipment to do so, even after stitching up Estevez. Samuels looks Alan over as well, deciding that it won't need the attention the Director's wound will. So, some good news at least.
Jesse doesn't really remember much from the examination and then medical dealings after it. She probably slipped in and out or consciousness along the way. Samuels didn't seem worried, given the blood loss and the amount of paranatural energy Jesse had used since they set up shop in the Sheriff Office. He orders everyone to do what rest they can, as it'll probably be another wave of attacks when nightfall comes.
She stirs slightly, opening her eyes to see the waning afternoon sun filtering into the main office of the building. She gently turns to her side, trying to lift herself up to sit. Her body feels week and her head fuzzy.
« Great. Well, I just need to shake it off. I can't be down and out of the fight. » ]
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Well, I think we should find a bed for you, because you can still rest for a little while. You rest, I'll sit with you and keep an eye on you. Do you think you'll ever stop? I know you made it sound as though directors don't retire, but are you going to keep fighting off those entities forever?
[ He's quick to tighten his hold on her supportively when he feels her curl into him. He wants to protect her from Scratch, to keep Scratch from ever reaching her again. He's not sure if he can, and in fact, it seems as though everything is stacked against him, but that's still not stopping him or lessening his resolve.
And he hasn't missed the way she looks at him, clearly not liking how he said "again". But it comes from a place of worry, and a place of fear that he'll lose her. ]
Just one more thing that comes back to me, huh? I'm responsible for so much of this, and that just means that there's more for me to fix.
[ Leaving her side while Samuel tends to her is out of the qeustion, but he doesn't intend to get in the way either. He just watches as Samuels does his work, worrying about Jesse when she slips in between states of consciousness. But Samuels doesn't appear worried, so Alan tells himself that it's fine. This is normal for someone having their injuries tended to.
Eventually, it seems as though she's fallen asleep, and Samuels gives orders to everyone to rest while they can. Alan has no intention of leaving her, not even to rest, so he just positions himself next to her and holds her hand while waiting for her to wake up.
At some point while he's waiting, he dozes off himself and so he misses it when she begins to stir. But her movement causes him to shift slightly although he also doesn't rouse right away. ]
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[ She looks to the side with a frown on her face. Her hands curl into sides. ] I get it if that's a deal breaker. You probably want nothing to do after all this once we finish this loop. That's fine.
[ She knows they've had the conversation before. She knows what his answer was before, but, she can't help but worry he will grow tired, annoyed, and resentful of the world they've been forced to admit exists. Letting him know she understands if he wants to leave it all behind is something she feels she has to do.
« Even if being left alone in this world is the last thing I want. »
Jesse becomes aware that she can't move one of her hands as she thought she could. Her eyes dart down to see that Alan is holding said hand and has fallen asleep beside her. She instantly stills.
He insists that she rest and recover. He puts himself after that. She wonders if that's because he believes everything that happens is something he deserves... or if he always put others first. If he did that, then why was it when he hit thr writer's block that he fell to pieces? Alan may day that Jesse is a complicated puzzle, but, she feels he is just as complicated.
If not more so.
She notes the gash on his head has been tended to--glued shut by Samuels. Her own injury gives a dull ache and her body still feels heavy while she feels unstable.
« Come on. I need to push through this. I can't be down and out. There's too much at stake. Once we finish up this AWE? Then, I'll stop. Because he'll be home and we can rest. »
Jesse turns and gently leans against him. Her whole weight isn't in the motion so he can hopefully stay asleep. She takes a moment to properly take him in. A small smile touches her face that she can't help. She loves him. Maybe too much.
« What happens if I have to choose between him or the Buearu? Is it ever going to come to that? God, I hope not. I can't... I can't leave him behind. Or them. Anyone. »
She frowns then.
« Why can't I shake this feeling that something bad is going to happen? It feels like the last loop. So, why... why does it feel this way? » ]
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It's not a dealbreaker. Why would it be one? Me being how I am could be a dealbreaker for you. Can you be with someone who jumps at his own shadow and is scared of the monsters in his own head?
[ He's probably asked her a version of that before, but he still wonders if she'll tire of having to be around someone as jumpy as him. ]
I have no intention of leaving any of this behind. I won't leave you behind. [ Not again. Never again, if I have anything to say about it.
The conversation ceases as she falls asleep and he follows, and when she leans against him, the slight frown on his face (most likely because the gash on his head still hurts even though it's been tended to) turns into a small smile even though he remains asleep for now. They probably don't have long to rest, and Alan will have to awaken soon, and when he does, the reality of the situation they're in will fall back onto him, but for right now, he's content: as content as it's possible to be.
A few more minutes pass and Alan stirs while still holding onto her hand. He shifts slightly as if he's beginning to awaken but his eyes stay closed for a few moments more. ]
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And Polaris guidance of course.
Both say that Alan Wake is important to her. Not just as a parautalitarian or a writer, but him as a person. She wouldn't say they're perfect for one another or even meant to be. Those notion are almost too romantic and storybook for her. She loves him and he loves her. That's enough.
She watches his reactions as he sleeps. He small smile makes one tug on her own face and she rests her pounding head against his arm. It's tempting to simply slide back into sleep. Her injury certainly wouldn't mind. Night isn't safe in Bright Falls with the active threshold. They just need to push through it for the night so they can rest in the morning.
« Hopefully Saga is back in the morning. Then, we can move on with tackling Scratch and putting an end to this whole damn thing. Rest comes after that, then a trip back to New York. All the paperwork and official things for the Bureau with Alan... then home. It seems like a lot of steps, but, we'll work through it. »
Her hand slides from his in order to wrap around his arm. They need to find hum better clothes not covered in dried dirt and blood. ]
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But darkness will be returning soon, and of course, night isn't safe for any of them, not with the threshold being active and the Dark Presence grasping for anything that it can use.
Alan's smile fades again and is replaced by a frown as he shifts even as Jesse rests her head against his arm. Her hand wraps around his arm too, and he briefly stills. He has to wake up again, but it's not what he wants. He wants to just rest with her for a little while longer.
But sleep, it seems, is already loosening its grip on him and he feels awareness returning. A low mumble escapes him as he grumbles in protest about having to wake up before he's ready. One eye slowly opens followed by the other, and immediately, his gaze focuses on hers. ]
... Hey.
[ The clothes he's wearing haven't bothered him until now. Maybe it's just that he somehow grew used to running around wearing blood and dirt-stained clothes. Has he done that before? It feels like something that's familiar but only vaguely. Still, even though he might be accustomed to it, he's realizing that they're not particularly comfortable, and he must be unsettling to look at. He's surprised more people haven't recoiled from him or looked at him with suspicion, because anyone wearing bloodstained clothes can't be innocent, right? ]
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『 I lost her. I lost them. The guiding star. She's gone. ...You're gone, and I'm alone. I'm always alone. 』
The words echo through the Hotline. A message Alan sent her before--between the loops. Her hands curl on his arm slightly as her eyes focus intently on his face. Then, her eyes focus on his as he looks for her gaze. ]
Hi, Alan. [ A small smile as the natural greeting slips out. The one she uses for him when he's awake. ] Morning.
[ It settles on her then that this is normal. What normal people do. They wake up next to each other in the morning--evening in their case. They see each other. Have breakfast. See each other off for their day.
« I want that. Not just with anyone... with him. I want him home and sharing the apartment with me.
We're right here, Alan. You can hear us. You're going to come home. This is the last time around. »
She lifts one hand to rest along his cheek. Does how badly she want this show in her eyes? ]
We should get you a change of clothes.
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I can do it. I have to.
His gaze locks on hers immediately, and if she's looking, she'll see an intensity in his eyes, a longing to always be able to wake up with her there. It doesn't matter where they are, whether home in her apartment or here in a place that's not their own. As long as they're together, that's what matters. ]
Hi, Jesse. Morning. [ He smiles, because this just feels right, even though there's a lot about the situation they're in that's wrong. Being here with her is what feels right to him. ] That probably would sound to weird to anyone that's not us. It's nighttime, but- [ Time really is a funny thing for Alan, given the way the Dark Place works. ]
I guess it's fitting in a way, because I was always kind of a night owl even before all this.
[ His smile grows wider and his expression softens when she places her hand against his cheek. Oh, he really loves her and has it bad. The look in her eyes tells him she has it just as bad, though, but there's something more in that expression. A longing not unlike his own... a longing to make this real. One day, it will be. He just doesn't know how soon that day will be.
He shakes his head in response to her suggestion. ]
I'm guessing there's things we need to do to be ready. I'm good with what I've got. [ A change of clothes would be nice, but it's not a priority, really. ]
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They just need to finish "Return."
A gentle laugh comes from her. ] Sleeping all day makes it morning. Right? Time gets... weird during an AWE. Normal schedules don't really exist because of it. We're kind of used to it. And, Estevez's team is used to fighting the terrors of the night.
[ She glances down at his clothes and she frowns. ] I think we'd have the time for you to change.
[ A squeeze of hid arm before she slowly works to push herself up. It's obvious that she still needs to rest. Her body shakes slightly and she sways. There's no time for her to be down and out. Her team needs the Director. Alan needs the guiding star. ]
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He knows it ought to be embarrassing and he should stop, but he reaches out for her, for anything he can reach: hand or arm, it doesn't matter. He just wants to touch her. He actually wants her to lie down next to him so he can hold her for a moment, but time isn't on their side, as usual. ]
I guess it does. Morning, evening, it- well, sometimes I can't tell the difference, so I guess that means I'm used to it too.
[ There's no daytime in the Dark Place, at least not that Alan's seen. But there's danger present day or night, even though the threats seem to come out mostly at night. That does little to reassure him, though, because there's no pretending that the threats don't exist. There's no putting the poster back up on the wall anymore. ]
Yeah, but... we still have go plan our movements and who's going to be handling what. Well, I'm just going to go where you tell me to, but- you know what I mean.
[ He glances at himself and frowns as well, but he's quick to look back up at her. ]
It's not like there's a department store around here. [ Even if there was, he wouldn't waste time on going there unless she insisted. ]
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