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synthneon2023-12-08 03:31 pm
outlierdirector) wrote in synthneon2023-12-08 03:31 pm
oceanview || ❝ made a promise i'm coming out alive. ❞
Through the waves, I break
The nightmares finally over
no subject
[ « Time to test how much he really knows me. Which, probably, is not at all. Just conjectures Alan made of me. Probably. »
Her eyes narrow slightly. Yes, how much does he care?
His next statement makes her blood run cold. Thankfully, she can hide it perfectly. Scratch isn't Alan. He hasn't broken through her walls to see the emotions she's feeling.
« Polaris. Please. You have to tell Steve NOW. They need to leave. RIGHT NOW! »
Instead, she scoffs and pulls her hand back. Jesse lowers her head and starts to force herself up. Her body protests, her head beats in agony, and everything in her screams to stop moving. It hurts.
« Everything hurts. Every part. Not just the physical either. It hurts so damn much. »
Outside, Steve feels a familiar brush on his mind. He crosses the few steps over to Estevez and Casey, grabbing Saga by the arm. He tells them to get in the truck the FBC brought and go. They don't have time for questions or to screw around. He'll take the bed of the truck with his weapon and cover them while Saga drives. Estevez is wounded but can provide directions, and Casey can just shut the hell up.
They need to move the Clicker. ]
That doesn't sound anything like proving it to me. [ There's a tremble in her voice from the physical pain, but also, the way her heart sinks. She can channel it. Use it. Make it make her point as if she really is talking to Alan. It'll sell it. Hopefully. ] That sounds like what you really want and trying to convince me it's something else.
[ Jesse raises her head again to stare evenly into his murky eyes. An unidenfitable emotion is there in her own gaze. ]
Aren't you the better Alan? The one who wouldn't make the same screw ups? The one who is oh so perfect? [ She frowns and narrows her eyes slightly. ] Because, all I'm hearing is you're going to run for the thing that really matters most. That isn't me.
[ Her hands curl as she forces herself up on them and her knees. ]
You're going to leave me behind. Here. By myself.
Just like Alan does.
no subject
[ He pauses to think for a moment. ] You want... companionship. Understanding. Right? I can give you that.
[ Never mind that he's never known friendship, because of the obvious, but he wants to try it with her.
He sees her eyes narrow, but he lacks the perception that Alan has, that ability to read her, to be able to intuit what she's thinking or feeling. ]
You know, I think you shouldn't move right now. [ But he doesn't stop her from trying to get up, even though his expression shifts to something that's supposed to be worry. ]
No, that's not it. I can't achieve my goals without the Clicker. I need the Clicker because it's part of the plan. With the Clicker, we can get what we need. What we want. We could be together.
And yes, I am the better Alan. Don't you see that the Clicker is the linchpin in all this? I'm better, and I'm perfect, but I do need a little help from the Clicker first. Once I have it, then I can give you everything you've ever wished for.
[ He moves in a little closer as if intending to offer her his support. ]
I'm not like him. I won't leave you behind. I'm right here, aren't I? And clearly he's just going to disappoint you forever, because he's not me. He's not perfect. You deserve better, Jesse.
no subject
At least, that's how she sees it.
« What if he really does care? What do I do then? What does he do? »
She holds back a remark that Alan could read her in a moment and understand what she really needs. Maybe it's instinctual because he's a writer, or it's a touch of that claravoyence. She can't push Scratch too far. Otherwise he might snap and go after Saga, Steve, and the others.
Outside the truck starts up. Steve rolls the gates back and then pulls himself to the bed of the truck with his rifle. Casey is in the back with him, Estevez and Saga in the passenger and driver seat respectfully. ]
You can really give me that? What makes it so you can and Alan can't?
[ « Other than the obvious that he's possessed Alan. »
A hand raises as if to brush away his "concern." ] Well, thank your Dark Presence for the state I'm in. Though, I'm pretty sure you gave me the exact same head wound once. And, you're one in the same, aren't you?
[ « May as well try to get what information we can out of him. There's what Alan thinks and suspects... then there is going to be what Scratch says is true. »
A huff of air escapes her, though it's ambiguous if it's in reaction to what Scratch says or because of controlled breathing through pain. ]
You want it to make the ending of your manuscript come true. I'm pretty sure I'm not apart of that ending. I never was. [ Jesse frowns and her eyes dart to the side. A part of her feels that way about anything with Alan as well. She wasn't apart of his plans at first. Maybe that's why she can't help change things.
Her gaze drops. ] There's absolutely nothing to guarantee that you'd come back after you have the Clicker. You'll make everything you want come true. Let me guess what those are. Obviously, Alan's life. Wealth, recognition, adoring fans that give you all the gratification you'd ever need. Fame.
And, if your really want everything Alan ever had? That includes one other thing. [ Her gaze levels back to his. ] His wife. Alice. She'd be your wife.
There's no room for me in that.
no subject
Yeah, I can really give you that. Alan likes to think he can give you that, but come on. Who is Alan Wake but a selfish asshole? What exactly has he done for anyone? [ It's clear that as far as Scratch has concerned, none of Alan's actions have redeemed him. Maybe there is no redeeming him in his eyes.
At the questions concerning the Dark Presence and how Scratch is related, something in his eyes darkens, although his eyes were dark to begin with. Nothing else in his expression changes, but Jesse's question clearly hit a little bit too close to home for his liking.
But then a second later, his smile returns as if nothing happened. ]
Who told you that? Let me guess, our favorite writer. [ Scratch makes a "tsk" sound and shakes his head. ] I really think that sometimes, he'd say anything just to turn people off about me. You see, the truth is, he said so many things about me, and with that little ability of his, they came true. But I'm not like that, really.
[ He eyes Jesse, focusing briefly on her head, that sympathetic look coming back to his eyes. ]
I won't kill you or hurt you. Not again. [ He pauses for a moment. ] Would you like to be part of that ending? I can make it happen. And I would come back for you, because I want to be with you, not Alice. There's room for you because I'd make room.
[ He eyes her once again, looking like he wants to kiss her hand, or maybe kiss her mouth. Or both. ]
no subject
The Dark Presence free.
The way his eyes darken just confirms what Alan had said to some degree. Scratch is only there when the Dark Presence is. Now, if he's a separate entity like before, or something more...
She could point out what Alan has done. It'd be a waste of time. Scratch really isn't interested in proving he's better than Alan to that degree at the moment. He's focused on her. Well, them. The potential for them. It makes her skin crawl, but, she has to ensure the safety of her people and the Object of Power.
She's the Director. ]
Yeah. He told me a lot about you. The Dark Presence. You know I've been to the Dark Place and sent messages through it. You've caught me. [ « How many times before the loop begins again and I'm here in Bright Falls? » ] Alright. If he's lied about you, then, whats the truth? I might as well know as the Director of the Federal Bureau of Control.
[ A sinking feeling strikes her then. If Scratch wins? She may never be the Director again. Why would he ever let her be a weapon against him?
She watches his gaze move from her injury, to her hand, to her lips. There are little things about how he moves that seem like Alan and not to imitate him. Little movements. Where he looks. There might be some sliver of empathy in Scratch that he pulls from Alan. Maybe.
« Just how tied together are they? » ]
How could you not want to be with Alice? She's his wife. Don't you want everything he has? [ The question is accusatory, but also one of general confusion. It's not lining up. Something is different. ] You're telling me you would honestly pick me over his wife?
[ Outside, the truck turns over finally. The lights come on. The FBI and FBC agents pull put of the parking lot. ]
no subject
There's a part of him that wants her because she chose Alan, and he wants to take everything from Alan. But as easy as taking her might be, it would feel like a cheap victory, which is why he's so focused on winning her over himself, whatever it takes. ]
You've been to the Dark Place? [ He shakes his head. ] Just when I thought that my opinion of Alan Wake couldn't sink any lower. He's supposed to be protecting you, taking care of you, and he let you go to the Dark Place? What a shame.
[ Maybe he's being vague on purpose about just how much he knows. Or maybe he actually doesn't know. But he's not tipping his hand either way, or so he thinks. ]
The truth? You really want to know?
[ He eyes her, staring her down, but that dark look in his gaze has disappeared now. ]
I can't remember the last time anyone asked me for the truth. The truth about me, that is.
[ But he finds himself distracted by her next statements about Alice, and he looks at her again with his eyes wide. ]
So you're saying you actually don't know? Alice is... She's beyond everyone's reach now, even his.
no subject
Protecting me from a story you wrote. [ A hand raises and makes a sweeping gesture as if it explain the whole situation. Scratch has created the whole mess. Blaming Alan for making it worse is hardly a good notch in her book. ] Don't treat me like I'm an idiot.
[ « It'll just make sure I don't end up on his side. »
Jesse holds her ground as he stares back at her. Her hands curl slightly and her weight shifts backwards. She sits against the counter of the lobby, but never breaks their gaze. Her red hair is a mess, wound obvious on the side of her head, and just generally looks as if she's been through the ringer more than once.
« We take a page out of Alan's book. He thought about making the Dark Presence think he had given up, right? We do something similar. Make Scratch think we're leaning... »
Her inner communication with Polaris comes to a halt the moment he reacts the way about Alice Wake. Her eyebrows knit together. Clearly, she doesn't know. Did she know at one point and the story take her memories away? No, it wouldn't be that. Could it?
« Did the Bureau know? Investigations closed down because of Hartman. The case for the Wakes must have gone cold... » ]
"Beyond reach"? What's that supposed to mean?
no subject
Oh, I know you're not an idiot. [ The emphasis he places on that word is meant to imply that someone else is, and she should be able to determine just who that "someone else" is. ] You're smart and resourceful and miles better at figuring things out than our Mr. Wake.
That story is one of my many mistakes, you see. But you probably don't know why I wrote it, not that you want to know, I'm sure.
[ It's obvious enough to him that she's firmly on Alan's side of things, but that doesn't mean he's about to stop trying. And it's also obvious to him that she has no idea what he means about Alice. Of course, it makes sense that she wouldn't know, and he figures Alan's just too weak to tell her about it. Or maybe he doesn't know himself. It boils down to the same thing, really. ]
Well, simply put, she's dead. Gone. [ He shakes his head in sympathy. Feigned sympathy, some might say, but he wouldn't.
... Or would he? ]
no subject
A monster that thinks he loves her. He can't really love her. She doubts he's capable of it.
« What if he does love me? What do I do then? He's not Alan, that much is obvious. But, if he does love me, then this is more of my mess to clean up than Alan would ever admit. » ]
I have the benefit of understanding more about these things than Alan does. It's my job. [ Jesse doesn't mention how she went hunting for it for years. Trying to find conspiracies or the usual side of life. ] I figure you wrote it to get out of the Dark Place. Permanently. Taking over Alan's life.
Why else would you write it?
[ Then, everything comes to a halt when he reveals what he knows about Alice Wake.
Dead?
« Does Alan know? He has to know. Doesn't he? He still wears his wedding ring to her. He still wants to get back home to see her. But... if he knows, then that's why he always dodges the topic whenever I've brought it up. Why he doesn't seem to be bothered by the fact that we're... well, it's cheating. Isn't it? »
Polaris shimmers.
Jesse glances to the side with her eyes slightly wide.
« He forgot? Or did he forget that he knows? Is there a difference?
Why weren't there notations in the case notes about it? Did Alan erase the notes in the documents in the story? I don't think he would. But, if he ended up writing out of grief... »
Her lips press together in a thin line.
The feigned look of sympathy never even catches her notice. Jesse instead raises her eyes and moves her gaze back to Scratch. She has to pretend to be moving to his side. It's the only way to keep him from the Clicker. The only reason he'd stay. ]
So, I'm next on the list. Because she's... dead. Not because you love me or anything like that. Simply because Alan cares and neither of you can have Alice Wake?
no subject
It's your job, but you're also smart. You learn quickly, unlike him. [ Scratch shrugs. ] Well, you're not wrong. I want his life because I deserve it more, and I don't have a problem admitting that.
[ He watches her reactions carefully when he lets loose the bombshell that Alice is dead. Clearly she didn't know. He opens his mouth to say something, but suddenly, inexplicably, no words come out.
Ö́̃͝h̍͂͠,̾̃͠ i̿̄͠t͆̾͞'̅̉͡s̛̄ not your turn ye̐t̔͋͞, and if I͊̿ ĥ̑͡a͗͆̕ve ã̽͠nything t͆̾̕o̓ sãy̒̀͡ â̛̑b͛͠out it, it̍̋'̿̉̕l̕l ñevë́̍͞r b͝e your turn҇̇̍ a̓̃̕g҇̓̌a͊̄͞in.
The words are said in Scratch's mind, said to the writer that he's trying to drown out.
You can't keep me pushed down like this! I'll- I'll fight you...
Alan's reply is muted, faint, as if he's trying to yell at Scratch from 50 feet under water. But he's not finished just yet, even though the effort of trying to speak looks like it's taking a heavy toll on him.
It's because of you and the Dark Presence that I wasn't there for Alice. Alice... Jesse... I need- I need to get back to her! Polaris, are you there?
If Jesse's watching, she might notice a look on Scratch's face that isn't fitting with the conversation they've been having. It's a look of desperation, and it doesn't belong on Scratch's face. For just a second, it's not Scratch looking back at her, it's someone else entirely.
O̓͋̕h̛̽̂,҇̓͐ you'̽re n͐̊̕ò͊̕t͑͑͠ g̒̕oing to b̿͊̕r͂̊͞e̊͠ak ť̛̏h҇ro͝ugh tŏ̓ t̛̑he҇̉͒m̽̒͡ t̋́͞h̐͠at easily.́̉ Ï̑͡ d̔̆̕o̍͐͡u͞bt̃̽͠ t͆͌͞h͋͠ey can eve͋͐n͊̋͝ h̛̐̇e̐́͞a̐͞r you. Wh̊y̛͌̒ d̀͐͡on't y͂͌͞o͡u just gī̅͞v̍̆̕e҇̾̀ ǘ̒͝p҇͋̀ an̒d let Mr͂.͞ Sc҇̔̌r͛̄͝ä́͊͝t̊̍̕c̛̀͗h̍̒͝ take the re͒͡in̛̾̓s͊̃͡?̄̂̕ Y͗͠ou said y҇̒̅ō̓̕u̕ wan͌ted҇̔̐ to sle͌̈e͆̕p. W̆͌h̽͆͞y̑̐͡ d͑́͝o͞n't you j͒͑u̒͒̕s̾̀͞t͌̃͠ g͗͞o t̉̈̕o̍͆̕ s͡leep now? I͑l͒̃̕l͌̽̕ h̍͗͞a̛͗ndle eve̅͑͞r̆̕ything͊̚͞ f̈̅͝rom her̄e̓̽͠.̛̀̊
Damn it, I won't let you do this! You can't take Jesse from me too. Jesse... JESSE, you can't listen to him!
Alan doesn't expect Jesse to be able to hear him, but he's hoping against hope that somehow, his words break through. Maybe Polaris can still hear him and tell Jesse what he's desperately trying to say. It's a long shot, but it's the only thing Alan has right now.
The only problem is, Scratch has him pushed down so far that trying to come back to the surface feels like an insurmountable task. I have to do this. I can't- He'll kill them all. If they're dead, then all of this was for nothing. I won't- I can't continue without her.
Without a reason to fight, Alan won't want to continue trying. ]
no subject
By Scratch.
She can't restore her own powers while Scratch is there. Not without a more powerful source of light, and she feels he would absolutely refuse the opportunity to let Polaris' resonance restore to any degree. As much as Scratch says he doesn't mind her? Jesse can't fathom the thing that wants to be Alan Wake even tolerating a resonance that interacts so negatively to its own. ]
What makes you deserve it more? You didn't write the books that made him famous. [ A tired hand raises and makes a gesture of a circling motion. ] I'm not following it. You can want it and think you fit it better, but deserve? What did you do to deserve any of it?
[ Jesse stares Scratch down evenly through the strands that have fallen into her face. Her chest continues to rise and fall heavily despite the intense stare. She feels that her statement is right. Scratch can't have Alice now--neither can Alan--so she is the next person on the list to take from Alan.
« What would Alice Wake have died from? It couldn't be exposure to anything in the Oldest House... and she hadn't been to Cauldron Lake in years. Nothing should of been affecting her from that. So, what was... »
Her thoughts trail off the moment she feels Polaris tug at her mind. Interrupting her. Jesse's gaze focuses back on Scratch to see a different expression on her face. The darkness in the eyes has pulled back, revealing a gaze she knows all too well. Her heart catches in her throat.
« It's Alan. He can't mimic that look. Wait... what? Polaris? »
Polaris tugs at her mind again. Jesse feels as if she's being pulled under water. She knows instantly what her friend is trying to do. Alan is trying to break free and Polaris is bridging communication in her own way. Feelings, less words, coming in from that unique connection. Trying to fight above the waves but being pressed down back under the surface. How the dark waters can be enticing. Jesse knows that already. She knows Scratch tells the truth to a degree but then twists it like any good liar does.
The only thing that weighs down the message at all is the fact Jesse can tell Alan has only been able to push back as far as he can because Alice was pulled back into the conversation.
It makes sense. Alice was always Alan's motivation. His reason for going into the Lake to start with. The reason he's trapped in the Dark Place. His wife, the one he married, and the one who can capture the world in a frame. Jesse isn't an artist and she never will be. There's a part of Alan that Alice had that she can never even begin to touch, let alone truly see or understand.
Jesse knows Alan loves her. She doesn't doubt it for a moment.
She just wishes she could be half of what Alice Wake was for him.
Her expression doesn't change. Simply because Scratch will try to come back and she can't show any weakness.
« At least we know Alan is still there. »
Her head tilts down as she moves to try and push herself up to stand. ]
no subject
All he knows is that Alice isn't his only driving force. She was in the beginning, the person who motivated him to keep moving forward. But now... now he draws motivation and strength from another person too: Jesse Faden, the director who was made for this. Made for being Director, but also made for so much more. She may not be an artist, but she's the one who's made Alan feel safe and loved but also strong enough to try and fight for himself and for her when he needs to. Alice was his world, but his world has grown bigger now. Jesse's part of that world, and even though maybe Alice passed the proverbial torch to Jesse, he'll always need both of them to keep him going.
Alan's hands reach out despite Scratch's disapproval and dislike.
She shouldn't move. I know it's bad, and Scratch could hurt her if the switch flips. It might flip now because of me. But she needs to rest at least a little bit. When- when I'm gone again, she might have to run. She'll need to have the strength to do that.
Instead of asking for help like he initially thought he would, his only concern is for Jesse and her safety.
It's because of me that she's in this position. I have to do something before Scratch takes over again. Jesse, can you- Dammit, I don't know what she should do in this situation. I can hardly think over the sound of the waves. All I know is, Scratch can't be in control forever. He can't have the Clicker. He can't have my life. Polaris, if you can hear me, you have to keep Jesse safe. I can't help right now, even though I want to.
His gaze turns downwards and he sees what looks like water splashing up against his legs. He's going to be pulled down again and the connection with Polaris will be severed.
I don't know how to end this, how to get rid of Scratch.
Alan's expression, controlled by Scratch, changes then; it changes into something uglier, something almost mocking.
T́͐̐̿͠s̛̏̒k͐͌̈́̕ t̛̆͒͐s͐̓̈́̇̕̚k̐͗̓̒͡,̇̋̚͞ w҇̾̾h̃̿̍͆̓̕a̛̐͌͌́̄t̎̃͊̑̌͠ ã͂͒͂̄͠ s͋̈́͐̓̕i̓̚͠ĺ̛̐́͗̈́l̛̀̓̏̈́y̔̅̽̕ ẅ́́̄͝r̒͒͞i͌̌̏̋̽̕t҇̆̒̒̌̈é̍͝r̛̍͂̈́͆̚.̀͊̄̈́̕ Y̛̎̽̀̌ơ͗̉͗̊͂ư͆͊'̉̈́̀̉͠l̊̀̄̊̕l̓͋́͡ ṅ̈̎̕ẻ̛̽͛̃v҇̔́è̐̆͡r͛̃͝ b̾͑̿̐͝e͋̍̈́͝ r͋̑̀̂́͡i͊̔̍̉̕d̉͌͡ o̍̎͝f̛̃̀̓ m̄͋̌͞e҇̀̔̀̓,̛̂̓̓ b̄̔̅͗͡ư͌̊̄t͑́̔̈͋͝ ó̏͠n҇̾̀͛̋ȇ̈́̂͡ d̍̀̄̋͡a͑̃̎̉͠y҇͐͐͗,͊̓̒͆͡ w̋̏̑̆̄͡e҇̀͂'҇̋̎̆l̛̍̐̿̽̊l̿͌͝ a̾̅͞l͗͊̊͡l̈́̆͡ b̄̿̓̾̚͝e̛͗̅ r͋̂̄̎̏͞i̋̾̉̀͝d́̔̄̍̐͝ ō̽̕f͐́͐͞ Y͗̅͒͆̈͠Õ̿̇̄͡U͑̑̕.͐̑̎͝ ]
no subject
Polaris gently tugs at Alan's mind. A frequency trying to resonate with the light within the writer, nearly smothered by the dark waters. She tries to communicate the feeling of understanding and love. The two things that Jesse would say herself if the situation allowed her to do it. She knows what is at stake and what can't happen. That's why the situation is being played like it is. Keeping Scratch here rather than out after the Clicker for as long as she can.
Eyes narrow slightly at the sign of Scratch resurfacing. The two are fighting for control. She takes the small half step back to the counter in order to be more in the light and hopefully regain something by the time she's addressed again. Not much distance is put between them so she hopes Alan doesn't take that the wrong way and give up. ]
no subject
But the problem is, Scratch knows what thoughts are going through his head and he just smirks at Alan; the expression he wears is an ugly one reflecting the ugliness that Scratch contains and seems most inclined to direct at Alan.
Y̷o̷u̷'̷v̷e̷ ̷a̷l̷r̷e̷a̷d̷y̷ ̷l̷o̷s̷t̷.̷ ̷J̷u̷s̷t̷ ̷g̷i̷v̷e̷ ̷u̷p̷,̷ ̷A̷l̷a̷n̷.̷ ̷J̷u̷s̷t̷ ̷g̷o̷ ̷t̷o̷ ̷s̷l̷e̷e̷p̷.̷ ̷L̷e̷a̷v̷e̷ ̷e̷v̷e̷r̷y̷t̷h̷i̷n̷g̷ ̷t̷o̷ ̷J̷e̷s̷s̷e̷ ̷a̷n̷d̷ ̷I̷ ̷n̷o̷w̷.̷
No, I can't let you win! You can't- I won't let you...!
Alan has just enough will left to try desperately to counter Scratch's dire words, but he can feel his hold slipping. If he slips far enough, that'll be it, and he doubts Scratch will let him claw his way back to the surface again. Damn it, I don't want this to be the end... But what more can I do? I- I can't...
Scratch's smile widens as he senses the dark water beginning to drown the writer out. It won't be long now until it's only him at the wheel. Soon, he'll have Jesse and the Clicker and the two of them can turn reality into whatever it is that they want.
While Scratch is relishing in the victories that he's certain will soon be his, Alan is desperately trying to keep his eyes on Jesse. He sees her take a step back, but he doesn't take it as anything but her doing her best to stay in the light. The light is an ally, a beneficial force in the darkness, but is it enough? It has to be enough.
Maybe the thing to do is simply stepping back and letting Scratch take the reins so that when the time is right, Jesse can put him down or at least slow him down.
L̷e̷t̷t̷i̷n̷g̷ ̷m̷e̷ ̷t̷a̷k̷e̷ ̷t̷h̷e̷ ̷r̷e̷i̷n̷s̷?̷ ̷T̷h̷e̷r̷e̷'̷s̷ ̷n̷o̷ ̷"̷l̷e̷t̷"̷ ̷h̷e̷r̷e̷,̷ ̷A̷l̷a̷n̷.̷ ̷I̷'̷m̷ ̷g̷o̷i̷n̷g̷ ̷t̷o̷ ̷t̷a̷k̷e̷ ̷o̷v̷e̷r̷,̷ ̷a̷n̷d̷ ̷y̷o̷u̷ ̷c̷a̷n̷'̷t̷ ̷d̷o̷ ̷a̷n̷y̷t̷h̷i̷n̷g̷ ̷t̷o̷ ̷s̷t̷o̷p̷ ̷m̷e̷.̷ ̷I̷'̷m̷ ̷t̷h̷e̷ ̷s̷t̷r̷o̷n̷g̷ ̷o̷n̷e̷ ̷h̷e̷r̷e̷,̷ ̷r̷e̷m̷e̷m̷b̷e̷r̷?̷ ̷
Scratch has decided that enough's enough, and his customary wide grin spreads across his face again as he finally just tunes Alan out. He won't be staying afloat for long anyway, so what's the point in wasting time on him? ]
Apologies for that little disruption; I had a pest problem to take care of, but now it's just you and me again, Jesse, just as it should be.
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You were going to justify how you deserve any of this. [ Her tone is flat but filled with a sense of expectation as well.
She's waiting.
Not only to distract him, but also so she can try and judge just how much Scratch shares with Alan. How much of how Alan feels transfers into his doppleganger. Does the doppleganger truly care? Or, does he think he does, and the emotions are shallow? She could use either to help distract him depending on how he reacts.
« If Alan can see any of this? I hope he knows that I'm just playing along. » ]
You've yet to tell me if you actually care about Alice. Me. Or, if you're just interested in taking over Alan's life. I'm not going to play second to your desire to be better than him. So, go on. Tell me. Do you actually love me?
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Your friends will meet him when you're gone. Gone or drowned, what's the difference?
A drowned man can't talk or think, and soon enough, Alan isn't doing anything. Scratch is in the driver's seat, and he smiles a wide, toothy smile for Jesse's benefit. ]
Maybe it's not me who's deserving. I mean, I can't pretend that I don't deserve this, but- look at you, Jesse Faden. You deserve all the great things that the world has to offer, because of the hell you've been through, and guess who can offer you those things?
[ He strikes a pose because he simply can't help himself. ]
Oh, that's right: me. Think about it: I have fame, money, so much charisma that I don't know what to do with it all... I can give you a great life. You won't want for anything, trust me. Name something that you've always wanted. A dream. A wish. A desire that you thought would never be fulfilled.
[ His smile widens, not even faltering for a second, as she continues making statements expressing how she feels. And then the question comes. ]
Do I actually love you? Oh, let me count the ways! Actually, really, I could list all the reasons why I love you, but it would take me a lifetime. Do you have a lifetime, Jesse Faden? Would you want to spend it with me? I'd make you happy, I promise.
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If Jesse could break her stonewall face? She could feel her eyes roll in to the back of her head. Instead, she simply stares down the performance that Scratch gives. All the nice honey words that might entice any other woman. Not that Jesse finds herself above things that others fall to. She simply knows everything he is saying is a lie. She doesn't deserve the great things after what happened to Ordinary. Dylan. How she left Dylan behind.
She has wants and desires. That doesn't mean she deserves any of it.
« What makes him think that ANY of those things would make me happy? I'm the opposite. I don't like the spotlight. I don't want to be front and center of anything. I guess he must not know everything Alan does about me. » ]
Shouldn't you know what I want? [ A hand raises and makes a vague gesture. ] You're better than Alan, aren't you? If he knows, then you should know too.
[ Then, a huff of air leaves her. Really? ] Narrow it down to something smaller of a list then. Anything larger than a handful of things is just fluff. I'm not interested in that.
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Meanwhile, Scratch pauses, but it's only for a second. ] Jesse, Jesse, Jesse, of course I know what you want. I always know what you want, because it's all up in here. [ He taps the side of his head. ] Still, there's something to be said for hearing about your desires in your own words and in your own voice. Your voice is entrancing, by the way.
I know what you want: you want someone who's like you. Someone who's seen the way the world really is and accepts it and welcomes it. Alan doesn't accept it; he doesn't even welcome it. But you know who does? Me. I accept it and I welcome it.
[ He taps the side of his chin then before he answers: ]
A smaller list... Well, first, I love how determined you are. I can see determination just oozing off you. I love it; it's delicious. Not many people have that level of determination. Second... you're strong. No one's going to pull a fast one on you. All you have to do is throw a block of concrete at their head and it's curtains for them. I just love that. Powerful, that's what you are. Hm, hm, hm... What else?
Oh, I know. You're smart. Intelligent. Quick-thinking, not dull-minded like so many people out there. Sharp as a whip, that's you.
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A hand stretches into the waters for him to hold. One he should know very well by now. One he should have memorized the shape and feel of with all the calloused and scars from battles on it. ]
｟ Alan Wake. ｠
[ Jesse, meanwhile, keeps her eyes even on Scratch. They follow his motion of tapping the side of his--Alan's--head.
« So, he does know everything. He just wants the pleasure of me saying it. Probably to taunt Alan with. » ]
Of course you accept it. You're an entity from another dimension. [ Jesse responds flatly and as if it should be the most obvious statement. ] You are a thing that the world doesn't accept as real. Something crawled out from behind the poster.
[ Her skin sprawls at even being called delicious. At least, in this context and it being said by Scratch. ]
I threw a piece of wood and glass into you. You didn't seem to love it then. [ Not to mention he killed her afterwards. Those details are hazy for her, but she remembers the key facts of that loop. It was the reason why Alan took them out of the story. ] And what about Polaris? You don't vibe with her as I recall. You can't have me and not have her.
Packaged deal.
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Still, he holds onto the hand that reaches for him and he does his best to curl his fingers around it and not let go. Of course he recognizes the hand and who it belongs to; it's Jesse, but it's also Polaris.
I'm not sure how long I can hold on, but thanks. Thanks for being here.
He's not entirely sure how Polaris can reach him when Scratch has pushed him down, but he's not questioning it either. ]
For now, that's what I am. [ Scratch's smile widens as he entertains thoughts of a future he's trying to turn into the present. ] I'll have Alan's life, and I'll do all of it better than he ever could. He'll be the intruder in this dimension, and I'll be the one really living. And I'll do it with you with me, because I'll give you everything you could ever want.
[ But then Scratch's smile drops and an ugly look gradually appears in his eyes. ]
Packaged deals can be.... unpacked, if you know what I mean. You don't need her anyway, not really. And with me around, between the two of us, we can do anything we want, because we'll hold all the cards.
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Jesse's eyes narrow further as Scratch continues on and on. He is so convinced he would have Alan's life, fame, and works. He believes entirely that he can win with one wave of his hand with "Return." He clearly believes he could beat anything and anyone and simply sweet talk his way anywhere.
« What an asshole. »
Packaged deals can be.... unpacked, if you know what I mean.
For the first time, Jesse feels a spike of fear shoot through her. She's been afraid before, but this is the first time Scratch has said something to scare her. Terrify her straight to her core. She doesn't show it of course. Perhaps the only sign of it is her hands that clench, and she doubts he is even paying attention to that much.
« He can't do that... can he? No. No, of course he can't. The Hiss couldn't convert me and that means he can't take you away. I won't LET him. He's trying to find a way in. Burrow under my skin to try and get me on his side. He's stupid if he thinks scaring me is going to do that.
We have to be smart about this. Okay? You and me. »
Still, the thought of losing her life long friend is terrifying.
Polaris flares up around her host, shinning as best she can in the dim light. Reacting to a hostile transmission and presence. A threat. Alan Wake was never a threat and that should be enough to show the difference between the two. ]
Did you stop to think that maybe that connection to her is part of why Alan loves me? [ Jesse feels her skin crawl even giving possibility to the idea. ] If you take her away, then I'm not me. Which means I'm not the person Alan Wake loves. You'd have no interest in me after that.
So, do you really love me or do you love the idea of having what Alan can't? All I see is you wanting a trophy wife to gloat over Alan. I'm not a trophy for you to win over.
[ A pressure pushes into Scratch's side then. A leg of a chair. It isn't pressing enough to do damage or to do more than make a point that Scratch should be careful with what he says or does. ]
How would anyone actually believe you're Alan Wake if you can't even find the right words to win me over?
[ That fear still shuffles inside her. So much so that the hand Alan holds tightens around his. Polaris brightens around the hand as she reacts to the danger her host faces. ]
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Now, he holds onto it like it's a lifeline keeping him afloat as everything around him tries to drown him out. He might lose his grip on it, but for now, he's doing his best to hold on.
For a few seconds that stretch into almost a minute, that ugly, angry look on Scratch's face remains as he stares Jesse down. He can sense Polaris flaring up in defense, and he almost wants to laugh. It's a pathetic attempt, in his eyes. If he wanted to take Jesse and sever the connection between her and Polaris, he has every confidence that he could. But the part of him that's able to step back and compartmentalize and plan out tactics and how to approach this says going for the nuclear option would be a bad idea.
He continues surveying her with a pointed stare, listening to her words and her questions that sound like accusations. A low growl escapes him as he feels the sudden pressure against him, and his eyes snap down to the chair leg that's pressing against him before snapping back to continue pinning Jesse with his stare.
If the question is whether or not he actually loves her, well- that only leaves him with one or two things that he can do. And since she doubts his ability to express himself in words, he goes for another angle. He reaches out for her, grabbing her by the hand, and with a firm tug, he tries to pull her in close enough that he can lean in to press his lips against hers in a kiss that's both possessive and a little fierce but somehow still gentle. It's a contradiction, but Scratch knows he himself is a walking contradiction and that is his selling point. At least, according to him, anyway.
There's never a dull moment while he's around.
Alan responds almost immediately, as his hand tries to tighten around Polaris's in return. He can't see or know what's going on above the waves, but something isn't right. He wishes he could do something to help Jesse and Polaris, but he's not in a position to do anything. And then to his horror, he feels his fingers slip an inch or two as the waves seem to tug on him with more force.
Damn it, I can't- don't let me drown... ]
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