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outlierdirector) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
synthneon2023-12-08 03:31 pm
outlierdirector) wrote in synthneon2023-12-08 03:31 pm
oceanview || ❝ made a promise i'm coming out alive. ❞
Through the waves, I break
The nightmares finally over
no subject
All he knows is that Alice isn't his only driving force. She was in the beginning, the person who motivated him to keep moving forward. But now... now he draws motivation and strength from another person too: Jesse Faden, the director who was made for this. Made for being Director, but also made for so much more. She may not be an artist, but she's the one who's made Alan feel safe and loved but also strong enough to try and fight for himself and for her when he needs to. Alice was his world, but his world has grown bigger now. Jesse's part of that world, and even though maybe Alice passed the proverbial torch to Jesse, he'll always need both of them to keep him going.
Alan's hands reach out despite Scratch's disapproval and dislike.
She shouldn't move. I know it's bad, and Scratch could hurt her if the switch flips. It might flip now because of me. But she needs to rest at least a little bit. When- when I'm gone again, she might have to run. She'll need to have the strength to do that.
Instead of asking for help like he initially thought he would, his only concern is for Jesse and her safety.
It's because of me that she's in this position. I have to do something before Scratch takes over again. Jesse, can you- Dammit, I don't know what she should do in this situation. I can hardly think over the sound of the waves. All I know is, Scratch can't be in control forever. He can't have the Clicker. He can't have my life. Polaris, if you can hear me, you have to keep Jesse safe. I can't help right now, even though I want to.
His gaze turns downwards and he sees what looks like water splashing up against his legs. He's going to be pulled down again and the connection with Polaris will be severed.
I don't know how to end this, how to get rid of Scratch.
Alan's expression, controlled by Scratch, changes then; it changes into something uglier, something almost mocking.
T́͐̐̿͠s̛̏̒k͐͌̈́̕ t̛̆͒͐s͐̓̈́̇̕̚k̐͗̓̒͡,̇̋̚͞ w҇̾̾h̃̿̍͆̓̕a̛̐͌͌́̄t̎̃͊̑̌͠ ã͂͒͂̄͠ s͋̈́͐̓̕i̓̚͠ĺ̛̐́͗̈́l̛̀̓̏̈́y̔̅̽̕ ẅ́́̄͝r̒͒͞i͌̌̏̋̽̕t҇̆̒̒̌̈é̍͝r̛̍͂̈́͆̚.̀͊̄̈́̕ Y̛̎̽̀̌ơ͗̉͗̊͂ư͆͊'̉̈́̀̉͠l̊̀̄̊̕l̓͋́͡ ṅ̈̎̕ẻ̛̽͛̃v҇̔́è̐̆͡r͛̃͝ b̾͑̿̐͝e͋̍̈́͝ r͋̑̀̂́͡i͊̔̍̉̕d̉͌͡ o̍̎͝f̛̃̀̓ m̄͋̌͞e҇̀̔̀̓,̛̂̓̓ b̄̔̅͗͡ư͌̊̄t͑́̔̈͋͝ ó̏͠n҇̾̀͛̋ȇ̈́̂͡ d̍̀̄̋͡a͑̃̎̉͠y҇͐͐͗,͊̓̒͆͡ w̋̏̑̆̄͡e҇̀͂'҇̋̎̆l̛̍̐̿̽̊l̿͌͝ a̾̅͞l͗͊̊͡l̈́̆͡ b̄̿̓̾̚͝e̛͗̅ r͋̂̄̎̏͞i̋̾̉̀͝d́̔̄̍̐͝ ō̽̕f͐́͐͞ Y͗̅͒͆̈͠Õ̿̇̄͡U͑̑̕.͐̑̎͝ ]
no subject
Polaris gently tugs at Alan's mind. A frequency trying to resonate with the light within the writer, nearly smothered by the dark waters. She tries to communicate the feeling of understanding and love. The two things that Jesse would say herself if the situation allowed her to do it. She knows what is at stake and what can't happen. That's why the situation is being played like it is. Keeping Scratch here rather than out after the Clicker for as long as she can.
Eyes narrow slightly at the sign of Scratch resurfacing. The two are fighting for control. She takes the small half step back to the counter in order to be more in the light and hopefully regain something by the time she's addressed again. Not much distance is put between them so she hopes Alan doesn't take that the wrong way and give up. ]
no subject
But the problem is, Scratch knows what thoughts are going through his head and he just smirks at Alan; the expression he wears is an ugly one reflecting the ugliness that Scratch contains and seems most inclined to direct at Alan.
Y̷o̷u̷'̷v̷e̷ ̷a̷l̷r̷e̷a̷d̷y̷ ̷l̷o̷s̷t̷.̷ ̷J̷u̷s̷t̷ ̷g̷i̷v̷e̷ ̷u̷p̷,̷ ̷A̷l̷a̷n̷.̷ ̷J̷u̷s̷t̷ ̷g̷o̷ ̷t̷o̷ ̷s̷l̷e̷e̷p̷.̷ ̷L̷e̷a̷v̷e̷ ̷e̷v̷e̷r̷y̷t̷h̷i̷n̷g̷ ̷t̷o̷ ̷J̷e̷s̷s̷e̷ ̷a̷n̷d̷ ̷I̷ ̷n̷o̷w̷.̷
No, I can't let you win! You can't- I won't let you...!
Alan has just enough will left to try desperately to counter Scratch's dire words, but he can feel his hold slipping. If he slips far enough, that'll be it, and he doubts Scratch will let him claw his way back to the surface again. Damn it, I don't want this to be the end... But what more can I do? I- I can't...
Scratch's smile widens as he senses the dark water beginning to drown the writer out. It won't be long now until it's only him at the wheel. Soon, he'll have Jesse and the Clicker and the two of them can turn reality into whatever it is that they want.
While Scratch is relishing in the victories that he's certain will soon be his, Alan is desperately trying to keep his eyes on Jesse. He sees her take a step back, but he doesn't take it as anything but her doing her best to stay in the light. The light is an ally, a beneficial force in the darkness, but is it enough? It has to be enough.
Maybe the thing to do is simply stepping back and letting Scratch take the reins so that when the time is right, Jesse can put him down or at least slow him down.
L̷e̷t̷t̷i̷n̷g̷ ̷m̷e̷ ̷t̷a̷k̷e̷ ̷t̷h̷e̷ ̷r̷e̷i̷n̷s̷?̷ ̷T̷h̷e̷r̷e̷'̷s̷ ̷n̷o̷ ̷"̷l̷e̷t̷"̷ ̷h̷e̷r̷e̷,̷ ̷A̷l̷a̷n̷.̷ ̷I̷'̷m̷ ̷g̷o̷i̷n̷g̷ ̷t̷o̷ ̷t̷a̷k̷e̷ ̷o̷v̷e̷r̷,̷ ̷a̷n̷d̷ ̷y̷o̷u̷ ̷c̷a̷n̷'̷t̷ ̷d̷o̷ ̷a̷n̷y̷t̷h̷i̷n̷g̷ ̷t̷o̷ ̷s̷t̷o̷p̷ ̷m̷e̷.̷ ̷I̷'̷m̷ ̷t̷h̷e̷ ̷s̷t̷r̷o̷n̷g̷ ̷o̷n̷e̷ ̷h̷e̷r̷e̷,̷ ̷r̷e̷m̷e̷m̷b̷e̷r̷?̷ ̷
Scratch has decided that enough's enough, and his customary wide grin spreads across his face again as he finally just tunes Alan out. He won't be staying afloat for long anyway, so what's the point in wasting time on him? ]
Apologies for that little disruption; I had a pest problem to take care of, but now it's just you and me again, Jesse, just as it should be.
no subject
You were going to justify how you deserve any of this. [ Her tone is flat but filled with a sense of expectation as well.
She's waiting.
Not only to distract him, but also so she can try and judge just how much Scratch shares with Alan. How much of how Alan feels transfers into his doppleganger. Does the doppleganger truly care? Or, does he think he does, and the emotions are shallow? She could use either to help distract him depending on how he reacts.
« If Alan can see any of this? I hope he knows that I'm just playing along. » ]
You've yet to tell me if you actually care about Alice. Me. Or, if you're just interested in taking over Alan's life. I'm not going to play second to your desire to be better than him. So, go on. Tell me. Do you actually love me?
no subject
Your friends will meet him when you're gone. Gone or drowned, what's the difference?
A drowned man can't talk or think, and soon enough, Alan isn't doing anything. Scratch is in the driver's seat, and he smiles a wide, toothy smile for Jesse's benefit. ]
Maybe it's not me who's deserving. I mean, I can't pretend that I don't deserve this, but- look at you, Jesse Faden. You deserve all the great things that the world has to offer, because of the hell you've been through, and guess who can offer you those things?
[ He strikes a pose because he simply can't help himself. ]
Oh, that's right: me. Think about it: I have fame, money, so much charisma that I don't know what to do with it all... I can give you a great life. You won't want for anything, trust me. Name something that you've always wanted. A dream. A wish. A desire that you thought would never be fulfilled.
[ His smile widens, not even faltering for a second, as she continues making statements expressing how she feels. And then the question comes. ]
Do I actually love you? Oh, let me count the ways! Actually, really, I could list all the reasons why I love you, but it would take me a lifetime. Do you have a lifetime, Jesse Faden? Would you want to spend it with me? I'd make you happy, I promise.
no subject
If Jesse could break her stonewall face? She could feel her eyes roll in to the back of her head. Instead, she simply stares down the performance that Scratch gives. All the nice honey words that might entice any other woman. Not that Jesse finds herself above things that others fall to. She simply knows everything he is saying is a lie. She doesn't deserve the great things after what happened to Ordinary. Dylan. How she left Dylan behind.
She has wants and desires. That doesn't mean she deserves any of it.
« What makes him think that ANY of those things would make me happy? I'm the opposite. I don't like the spotlight. I don't want to be front and center of anything. I guess he must not know everything Alan does about me. » ]
Shouldn't you know what I want? [ A hand raises and makes a vague gesture. ] You're better than Alan, aren't you? If he knows, then you should know too.
[ Then, a huff of air leaves her. Really? ] Narrow it down to something smaller of a list then. Anything larger than a handful of things is just fluff. I'm not interested in that.
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Meanwhile, Scratch pauses, but it's only for a second. ] Jesse, Jesse, Jesse, of course I know what you want. I always know what you want, because it's all up in here. [ He taps the side of his head. ] Still, there's something to be said for hearing about your desires in your own words and in your own voice. Your voice is entrancing, by the way.
I know what you want: you want someone who's like you. Someone who's seen the way the world really is and accepts it and welcomes it. Alan doesn't accept it; he doesn't even welcome it. But you know who does? Me. I accept it and I welcome it.
[ He taps the side of his chin then before he answers: ]
A smaller list... Well, first, I love how determined you are. I can see determination just oozing off you. I love it; it's delicious. Not many people have that level of determination. Second... you're strong. No one's going to pull a fast one on you. All you have to do is throw a block of concrete at their head and it's curtains for them. I just love that. Powerful, that's what you are. Hm, hm, hm... What else?
Oh, I know. You're smart. Intelligent. Quick-thinking, not dull-minded like so many people out there. Sharp as a whip, that's you.
no subject
A hand stretches into the waters for him to hold. One he should know very well by now. One he should have memorized the shape and feel of with all the calloused and scars from battles on it. ]
｟ Alan Wake. ｠
[ Jesse, meanwhile, keeps her eyes even on Scratch. They follow his motion of tapping the side of his--Alan's--head.
« So, he does know everything. He just wants the pleasure of me saying it. Probably to taunt Alan with. » ]
Of course you accept it. You're an entity from another dimension. [ Jesse responds flatly and as if it should be the most obvious statement. ] You are a thing that the world doesn't accept as real. Something crawled out from behind the poster.
[ Her skin sprawls at even being called delicious. At least, in this context and it being said by Scratch. ]
I threw a piece of wood and glass into you. You didn't seem to love it then. [ Not to mention he killed her afterwards. Those details are hazy for her, but she remembers the key facts of that loop. It was the reason why Alan took them out of the story. ] And what about Polaris? You don't vibe with her as I recall. You can't have me and not have her.
Packaged deal.
no subject
Still, he holds onto the hand that reaches for him and he does his best to curl his fingers around it and not let go. Of course he recognizes the hand and who it belongs to; it's Jesse, but it's also Polaris.
I'm not sure how long I can hold on, but thanks. Thanks for being here.
He's not entirely sure how Polaris can reach him when Scratch has pushed him down, but he's not questioning it either. ]
For now, that's what I am. [ Scratch's smile widens as he entertains thoughts of a future he's trying to turn into the present. ] I'll have Alan's life, and I'll do all of it better than he ever could. He'll be the intruder in this dimension, and I'll be the one really living. And I'll do it with you with me, because I'll give you everything you could ever want.
[ But then Scratch's smile drops and an ugly look gradually appears in his eyes. ]
Packaged deals can be.... unpacked, if you know what I mean. You don't need her anyway, not really. And with me around, between the two of us, we can do anything we want, because we'll hold all the cards.
no subject
Jesse's eyes narrow further as Scratch continues on and on. He is so convinced he would have Alan's life, fame, and works. He believes entirely that he can win with one wave of his hand with "Return." He clearly believes he could beat anything and anyone and simply sweet talk his way anywhere.
« What an asshole. »
Packaged deals can be.... unpacked, if you know what I mean.
For the first time, Jesse feels a spike of fear shoot through her. She's been afraid before, but this is the first time Scratch has said something to scare her. Terrify her straight to her core. She doesn't show it of course. Perhaps the only sign of it is her hands that clench, and she doubts he is even paying attention to that much.
« He can't do that... can he? No. No, of course he can't. The Hiss couldn't convert me and that means he can't take you away. I won't LET him. He's trying to find a way in. Burrow under my skin to try and get me on his side. He's stupid if he thinks scaring me is going to do that.
We have to be smart about this. Okay? You and me. »
Still, the thought of losing her life long friend is terrifying.
Polaris flares up around her host, shinning as best she can in the dim light. Reacting to a hostile transmission and presence. A threat. Alan Wake was never a threat and that should be enough to show the difference between the two. ]
Did you stop to think that maybe that connection to her is part of why Alan loves me? [ Jesse feels her skin crawl even giving possibility to the idea. ] If you take her away, then I'm not me. Which means I'm not the person Alan Wake loves. You'd have no interest in me after that.
So, do you really love me or do you love the idea of having what Alan can't? All I see is you wanting a trophy wife to gloat over Alan. I'm not a trophy for you to win over.
[ A pressure pushes into Scratch's side then. A leg of a chair. It isn't pressing enough to do damage or to do more than make a point that Scratch should be careful with what he says or does. ]
How would anyone actually believe you're Alan Wake if you can't even find the right words to win me over?
[ That fear still shuffles inside her. So much so that the hand Alan holds tightens around his. Polaris brightens around the hand as she reacts to the danger her host faces. ]
no subject
Now, he holds onto it like it's a lifeline keeping him afloat as everything around him tries to drown him out. He might lose his grip on it, but for now, he's doing his best to hold on.
For a few seconds that stretch into almost a minute, that ugly, angry look on Scratch's face remains as he stares Jesse down. He can sense Polaris flaring up in defense, and he almost wants to laugh. It's a pathetic attempt, in his eyes. If he wanted to take Jesse and sever the connection between her and Polaris, he has every confidence that he could. But the part of him that's able to step back and compartmentalize and plan out tactics and how to approach this says going for the nuclear option would be a bad idea.
He continues surveying her with a pointed stare, listening to her words and her questions that sound like accusations. A low growl escapes him as he feels the sudden pressure against him, and his eyes snap down to the chair leg that's pressing against him before snapping back to continue pinning Jesse with his stare.
If the question is whether or not he actually loves her, well- that only leaves him with one or two things that he can do. And since she doubts his ability to express himself in words, he goes for another angle. He reaches out for her, grabbing her by the hand, and with a firm tug, he tries to pull her in close enough that he can lean in to press his lips against hers in a kiss that's both possessive and a little fierce but somehow still gentle. It's a contradiction, but Scratch knows he himself is a walking contradiction and that is his selling point. At least, according to him, anyway.
There's never a dull moment while he's around.
Alan responds almost immediately, as his hand tries to tighten around Polaris's in return. He can't see or know what's going on above the waves, but something isn't right. He wishes he could do something to help Jesse and Polaris, but he's not in a position to do anything. And then to his horror, he feels his fingers slip an inch or two as the waves seem to tug on him with more force.
Damn it, I can't- don't let me drown... ]
no subject