synthneon | oceanview || ❝ made a promise i'm coming out alive. ❞

oceanview || ❝ made a promise i'm coming out alive. ❞

OCEANVIEW III

and now i'm wide awake.

Oh, I died like a million times.
Through the waves, I break
The nightmares finally over CODE BY TESSISAMESS

[ A huff comes from her, still with a touch of endearment and love in it. ] You did more heavy lifting than you realize.

[ If what he had focused and been weaker, then they would still be struggling. Alan is stronger than he knows. She wonders if he'll ever see it.

« I hope he does. »

Where Jesse might normally hold her hand up for the help, she practically falls into the offered embrace. She knows she's not in the condition to insist otherwise. Her hand instead raises to gesture up to the floor above them. There's no real comfortable places in a morgue... and, well, she's sure Samuels will want to take a look at the two of them.

Her head rests against his shoulder. Jesse hates when her body feels like this. Sluggish, slow, unable to do anything. The Dark Presence has tested her limits and Polaris has drained her. It was bound to happen eventually in one of the loops.

« The story really is fighting us to keep Alan, isn't it? That's fine. It can fight all it wants. I'll keep fighting so he can focus on what he needs to do. He won't like the idea, but, it's what WE can do for him.

Have... have we already been doing this? Between the loops? Is that why Scratch is hunting us? It's different now. It's not... he's not trying to kill us now. He's... »

Jesse doesn't even want to finish the thought to Polaris. He's trying to take us for his own.

Her green eyes slide back up to Alan as she does her best not to feel like dead weight in his arms. She knows he's not going to like what she has to say. All she can hope is that he won't spiral out and let the waves take him away when she tells him. She's not in the position to pull him back out.

« Maybe that was part of Scratch's plan all along. If so? We know it's a trap and can avoid it. »

Jesse pulls her arms up once they get to the base of the stairs. ]

I think... [ Her gaze drops, but her voice is soft and quiet again. ] I think he's caught us between the loops. Polaris and I. I just--I don't remember everything. It's like a dream and trying to get the details is hard... but, I think, he's been trying to stop us. And he has stopped us. When we've been trying to reach you.

But that's just it, isn't it? "More than I realize." Who's right here? The people telling me I'm dangerous and treating all of this like it's my own personal playground, or the people- well, you, telling me that I'm helping and necessary for getting the story to where it needs to be. I believe you, I do. It's just that there's a lot of voices talking, and it's hard to know who to listen to.

[ He silences for a moment when Jesse all but falls into his embrace. Now isn't the time for his worries and musing aloud. She needs support, she needs him to be strong. If he loses himself in his thoughts, he won't be any use to her at all. But once he finds his voice again, he knows immediately what to say. ]

You're going to get looked at by... I don't remember his name. But once he's finished, I'm finding somewhere for you to rest. You're going to rest, and I'll make sure that no one interrupts.

[ Because it doesn't take a genius to see that she's been through a lot, and not just in this loop. That's my fault, but I can't stop to start blaming myself again. That's not what she needs.

If he could do it and still maintain his hold on her, he'd brush a hand against her forehead and over her hair in a reassuring gesture. He just hopes the look in his eyes is reassuring enough.

They reach the base of the stairs and he feels her shift, noting how she moves her arms. ] Hold still. You've been through the wringer, and you need to just rest.

[ Somehow, those words feel familiar to him, but he doesn't stop to focus on them. He's about to move them up the stairs when it registers just what she's saying. ]

... He caught you? [ It takes a moment for what she's saying to sink in, and then his expression changes. The implications of what she's saying have dawned on him, and his mind only reaches one conclusion: he caught her and Polaris, and it's his fault. ]

I think... [ His tone is quieter now, and the look of guilt is clear in his eyes. ] I think that you should stop, at least for awhile. Stop trying to reach me. It's not safe for either of you.

[ And I can't live with myself knowing they've been caught because of me. ]

You're the only one who can decide who to listen to and who to believe. Or, if none of us are right. [ « Even if he doesn't believe us. It's his choice. I don't like it, but, it's up to him. » ] Samuels. He's the medical.

[ Jesse's eyes hold nothing but love and trust. She's sure he'd insist she shouldn't trust him. Yet, she does, which is why she does lower her arms to rest across her. He may not be able to brush her hair away, but she can tell the gesture he means by his own gaze. ]

He'll insist that I do rest--Samuels. Steve too. [ Her eyes slide closed for a moment to simply enjoy the feeling. It feels as if it's been years since Alan was like this: in control, awake, able to fight the night's terrors. She's missed it--missed him being himself. ] I think so.

[ « I'm sure he did. More than once. He won't stop even if we do. He wants us. »

She raises her hand again, this time in order to brush along his jawline. A soft touch and one that's similar to how Polaris will nudge at his mind. Her eyes lock onto his once he looks back at her. ]

It's the last loop, right? That means we won't need to try and reach you. [ She sounds confident in the fact that it's their last time around. It feels like it is. Everything is lining up the right way. It feels right. The same way knowing Polaris and all this weirdness is real feels. ] Alan. I don't think he would stop even if we did. He...

[ Her gaze drifts to the side. ] He's different now. From the first time around, I mean. When he... you know. I don't know why or how. But, it's not after us the same way.

I know. And I know you're right, but- [ But the voices are still very loud in Alan's mind, the voices that tell him he's not to be trusted, that he's dangerous. A part of him can't argue with that. People around him tend to get hurt or worse, and that's something he still wrestles with. ] I don't know. I'm still figuring it out. It's not important right now anyway.

[ He tries to push away the doubt and fears so that he can focus on her, because right now, she is more important. ]

Good, because you don eed to rest. No arguments. [ His eyes light up just a fraction as a hint of a teasing tone comes into his voice, even though he's serious about her resting as long as she can. ]

Well, that has to stop. I don't know how, but he can't catch you. He can't have you. [ Even if it means that I can't have her either, there has to be a way to keep Scratch from reaching her and Polaris. ]

I hope it's the last loop. It feels like it could be, but- [ Feelings don't mean something is reality. He wishes he could be as confident as she seems to be, but maybe her confidence can be enough for both of them. ]

There has to be a way to stop him. There has to be something I can do. [ But what? I can't create shields to protect her. I can't- I don't know what I can do. ]

Even if it's different, I- [ I what? I don't own her. I can't say "I don't want him to have her", as if she's something I own. ]

I just hate the idea of him being after you.

[ Her fingers brush along his jaw once more. She understands. She can tell the Dark Place is still haunting him. That will make it harder to listen, think, make a decision about where he's going and how he feels about himself. It will keep haunting him until they beat "Return" and he's home.

A smirk is returned for the teasing tones and light in his eyes. She won't argue, which is why no protests or anything else are made. ] You better plan on resting too. You need it more than me.

We just need to make it the last loop. It feels... it feels like everything is finally lining up how it needs to be. [ Her head tilts more into his shoulder as a wave of dizziness hits her despite him carrying her. Probably from the blood loss. ] We just need to make the story make what we want real.

[ Jesse's eyes slip close as they continue up the stairs. She's no mind reader, despite all her amazing powers. It's obvious, to her anyways, that Alan is protective of her. They're together. A pair, a unit. It'd be natural for him to feel ... territorial. She's not sure if it's the right word. A relationship like this is foreign to her. He would know better. ]

Even if he caught us... I'm not sure he had us. I know, it doesn't make sense. But... we're here with you, not him. He found us but couldn't hold onto us. It must have pissed him off.

Not that I'm sure I know why he'd want us. I mean, that wasn't what he wanted in the start. Given what happened the first time. [ Her eyes open slightly and drift up to his. ] We--I'm not his to have or to take. I made my choice already.

[ Frankly, he's tired of it. He's tired of never being able to escape the Dark Place no matter how far he gets or how hard he tries. It always has a hold on him, and sometimes he wonders if he'll ever be free of it. Of course, he will be free of it when they find a way to end Return, but that seems so far off that he wonders if he'll make it that long. ]

No, I don't. You had it worse; you got hit harder. [ She's resting and that's the end of it.

He knows he'll always put her first, no matter what he's feeling or how bad he feels. He can't make it without knowing she's alright. ]

It does feel that way, but I'm- Well, I'm worried about the rug getting pulled out from under us again. [ His hold on her tightens when he feels her tilting her head more into his shoulder. He's not about to let her go, not from his hold and not from his life. Her condition doesn't seem life-threatening, and he wouldn't allow himself to think that way anyway, but he can't help but feel a little scared. ]

I think with your determination, you could make that happen.

[ He quiets for a second or two as they make their way up the stairs, and once they're at the top, he says: ]

I wonder if it's my fault. I wonder if he figured out how important you are to me; not that it's hard to figure out, but- he put it together, and decided that now he doesn't want... You know. He wants to win you over to his side, because if I want to be with you so much, it must mean something.

[ She is worth having, but he can't have her. Unless she wants to- No, she wouldn't. That's impossible. ]

I was hit harder this time. You've been constantly fighting it. So... we both need a breather. [ Jesse's tone signifies she won't take no for an answer, but she isn't necessarily arguing with his point either. She just wants him near by when she's resting. It's easier to protect him when he's closer; easier to keep the Dark Presence at bay when Polaris is with him. ] The benches here... they're not really made for two people. Hopefully you don't mind the floor.

[ A smile tugs on her face at his worry. ] Well. Good thing I can float us both in the air if it does end up pulled out. That'd really piss off the Dark Presence.

[ Her eyes drift down at his comment. She can't deny that the possibility is there. If Scratch is really his doppleganger? He'd want everything in Alan's life. Which means at some point he wanted Alice like he apparently now wants her. She frowns slightly. Alice seems to be a missing hole in all this. She can't seem to get anything about Alice Wake in terms of information--maybe because the story is blocking it. Why would it block it? Wouldn't Scratch be after Alice the same way...?

She closes her eyes as her head pounds.

« Okay. We'll think about it later, I guess. »

The hand at his jaw brushes against his beard once more. Jesse meant it when she said she made her choice. That choice is Alan. She's smart enough to know who Scratch is and how he isn't the man she loves. Scratch, in her mind, is just as pale of an imitation as the esseJ in the Antique Mirror back in the Oldest House. Something that really isn't the person they're reflecting and thus takes on a life of its own. Never quite the original, but always wanting to be it. ]

Well, I doubt "his side" would make room for Polaris. [ A light movement of her head is given to indicate a shake. ] Which means it's going nowhere.

[ Realizing they're at the top of the stairs, Jesse raises the hand from his jaw. Her fingers make a motion and the door opens for him. She lowers her hand to rest along her stomach then. Alan will fuss enough that she's even used her powers to open the door with his hands full. Anything more than that might set him over the edge.

Voices filter in from the hallway. Footsteps, and then Steve is in the hallway with his hand now wrapped appropriately. He stares, looking from Alan, then down to Jesse in his arms, then back to Alan. ]

I leave you kids alone for five minutes...

Steve. [ Jesse would roll her eyes, so instead, her tone will have to show the irritation at his dad jokes and tones at the moment. ] Basement is cleared out now. Anything that gets in it won't be getting along with Polaris down there.

Right. [ Steve sighs and shakes his head. He motions then for Alan to follow after him. ] Samuels it is for the both of you. Shit, boss.

I'm fine.

[ He looks like he wants to argue more, but the tone Jesse's using tells him maybe he should stop for now. ]

I don't mind. The floor is fine. [ How many times did I end up on the floor in the Writer's Room? I don't remember, but I know I've been there. ]

Well, I'm all for payback, but the Dark Presence bites and has sharp teeth. Do something like that, and it's bound to bite back. [ I'd let it bite me first before it ever got a chance at taking out Jesse.

The Dark Presence isn't dragging him away or forcing his head underwater, but Alan's suddenly finding himself having to wrestle with the old fears and worries that are trying to rise to the surface again. He can't let them; he doesn't want to. He just wants to be here, awake and mostly safe for the moment, and more importantly, he wants to be here with Jesse and for her.

He smiles when he feels her brushing her hand against his jaw and his beard; he really likes how that feels. It's strange, maybe even silly, but it relaxes him. She relaxes him, calms him down when he's letting fear take hold. ]

But is that enough to stop him? That's what I don't know. If he wants something bad enough, I think he'd do anything to get it. But I can't do anything about that now, can I? So let's focus on you getting the rest you need, and we'll figure that out later.

[ Otherwise Alan will just end up getting lost in his own mind trying to find ways to come to terms with this.

And as predicted, when he realizes that Jesse used her abilities to open the door, he glances down at her with his eyebrows raised, indicating his slight disapproval. She's used up enough of her resources already. He could've found a way to open the door even with his hands full. But it doesn't matter now, and he doesn't have time to comment on it, as Steve has just joined them in the hallway. ]

Hey, Steve. [ He shakes his head and rolls his eyes in a half-exasperated gesture. ] She needs it more than me. Whatever she did during the fight took it out of her. Again.

[ She isn't denying she needs to rest and regain her strength. Just that she wants him nearby. They're stronger against the Dark Presence when they are together. She can help keep him awake, and Polaris can make the Champion of Light blinding. The Dark Presence can't wash him away if they're together. ]

I'd say we could find a bed, but... time doesn't seem to be on our side this loop. [ An uncomfortable sigh escapes as her head pounds. ] Well, I've fought against plenty of paranormal entities. It'll just be the latest one on the list.

[ She instinctively curls into him by just a fraction at the commentary about Scratch. While she will fight him and face him head on? She won't deny that Scratch scares her. How could he not? He brutally murdered her in the first loop. Now, he's obsessing over her? It sets all the warning bells off in her mind and makes every part of her skin crawl.

Jesse's eyes snap up to Alan at "Again." It ruffles her feathers, but, it's clear that she's not disagreeing. Rather, she doesn't like it being brought to attention. He just isn't wrong, so there's no reason to be upset. Just annoyed at the situation. ]

Yeah. I can tell. [ Steve just grins at the pointed look from the Director. ] It's not surprising. Seems like your dark spooky cloud isn't really friends with our home resonance.

[ Steve leads Alan down the hallway and into the now overly familiar main lobby of the Sheriff Station. Samuels and Estevez look up, both completely baffled by the site in front of them. Samuels directs Alan to set the Director down, sitting up, so he can begin examining the head wound. Jesse seems almost like an annoyed child by being examined so closely, but, she doesn't put up much of a fight.

The wound is caused by blunt trauma, but Samuels can't identify what weapon it was exactly. They'd need to stitch the wound. Thankfully they have some medical equipment to do so, even after stitching up Estevez. Samuels looks Alan over as well, deciding that it won't need the attention the Director's wound will. So, some good news at least.

Jesse doesn't really remember much from the examination and then medical dealings after it. She probably slipped in and out or consciousness along the way. Samuels didn't seem worried, given the blood loss and the amount of paranatural energy Jesse had used since they set up shop in the Sheriff Office. He orders everyone to do what rest they can, as it'll probably be another wave of attacks when nightfall comes.

She stirs slightly, opening her eyes to see the waning afternoon sun filtering into the main office of the building. She gently turns to her side, trying to lift herself up to sit. Her body feels week and her head fuzzy.

« Great. Well, I just need to shake it off. I can't be down and out of the fight. » ]

Edited 2024-01-30 04:04 (UTC)

[ Well, as luck would have it, he wants to be nearby too. He wants to be nearby and never separated from her again if he can help it. Of course, he's aware that he can't always get everything he wants, but this is one thing that he absolutely wants. ]

Well, I think we should find a bed for you, because you can still rest for a little while. You rest, I'll sit with you and keep an eye on you. Do you think you'll ever stop? I know you made it sound as though directors don't retire, but are you going to keep fighting off those entities forever?

[ He's quick to tighten his hold on her supportively when he feels her curl into him. He wants to protect her from Scratch, to keep Scratch from ever reaching her again. He's not sure if he can, and in fact, it seems as though everything is stacked against him, but that's still not stopping him or lessening his resolve.

And he hasn't missed the way she looks at him, clearly not liking how he said "again". But it comes from a place of worry, and a place of fear that he'll lose her. ]

Just one more thing that comes back to me, huh? I'm responsible for so much of this, and that just means that there's more for me to fix.

[ Leaving her side while Samuel tends to her is out of the qeustion, but he doesn't intend to get in the way either. He just watches as Samuels does his work, worrying about Jesse when she slips in between states of consciousness. But Samuels doesn't appear worried, so Alan tells himself that it's fine. This is normal for someone having their injuries tended to.

Eventually, it seems as though she's fallen asleep, and Samuels gives orders to everyone to rest while they can. Alan has no intention of leaving her, not even to rest, so he just positions himself next to her and holds her hand while waiting for her to wake up.

At some point while he's waiting, he dozes off himself and so he misses it when she begins to stir. But her movement causes him to shift slightly although he also doesn't rouse right away. ]

[ Jesse's quiet for a long moment at his question. ] No. Not... not with how Polaris and I are now. Even if I'm no longer the Director? They'll probably just attract to me because of Polaris.

[ She looks to the side with a frown on her face. Her hands curl into sides. ] I get it if that's a deal breaker. You probably want nothing to do after all this once we finish this loop. That's fine.

[ She knows they've had the conversation before. She knows what his answer was before, but, she can't help but worry he will grow tired, annoyed, and resentful of the world they've been forced to admit exists. Letting him know she understands if he wants to leave it all behind is something she feels she has to do.

« Even if being left alone in this world is the last thing I want. »

Jesse becomes aware that she can't move one of her hands as she thought she could. Her eyes dart down to see that Alan is holding said hand and has fallen asleep beside her. She instantly stills.

He insists that she rest and recover. He puts himself after that. She wonders if that's because he believes everything that happens is something he deserves... or if he always put others first. If he did that, then why was it when he hit thr writer's block that he fell to pieces? Alan may day that Jesse is a complicated puzzle, but, she feels he is just as complicated.

If not more so.

She notes the gash on his head has been tended to--glued shut by Samuels. Her own injury gives a dull ache and her body still feels heavy while she feels unstable.

« Come on. I need to push through this. I can't be down and out. There's too much at stake. Once we finish up this AWE? Then, I'll stop. Because he'll be home and we can rest. »

Jesse turns and gently leans against him. Her whole weight isn't in the motion so he can hopefully stay asleep. She takes a moment to properly take him in. A small smile touches her face that she can't help. She loves him. Maybe too much.

« What happens if I have to choose between him or the Buearu? Is it ever going to come to that? God, I hope not. I can't... I can't leave him behind. Or them. Anyone. »

She frowns then.

« Why can't I shake this feeling that something bad is going to happen? It feels like the last loop. So, why... why does it feel this way? » ]

Then they'll be attracted to all three of us. [ Alan's tone is resolute. Determined. Jesse won't be alone when it comes to dealing with otherworldly entities. He'll do whatever he can to help, including fighting alongside her if he's allowed to. ]

It's not a dealbreaker. Why would it be one? Me being how I am could be a dealbreaker for you. Can you be with someone who jumps at his own shadow and is scared of the monsters in his own head?

[ He's probably asked her a version of that before, but he still wonders if she'll tire of having to be around someone as jumpy as him. ]

I have no intention of leaving any of this behind. I won't leave you behind. [ Not again. Never again, if I have anything to say about it.

The conversation ceases as she falls asleep and he follows, and when she leans against him, the slight frown on his face (most likely because the gash on his head still hurts even though it's been tended to) turns into a small smile even though he remains asleep for now. They probably don't have long to rest, and Alan will have to awaken soon, and when he does, the reality of the situation they're in will fall back onto him, but for right now, he's content: as content as it's possible to be.

A few more minutes pass and Alan stirs while still holding onto her hand. He shifts slightly as if he's beginning to awaken but his eyes stay closed for a few moments more. ]

[ Her answer to his determined statements is simply leaning into his hold. She doesn't want to let him go either. There would be someone at the Buearu who would insist it's all a bad idea, nut, Jesse has always followed her own instincts.

And Polaris guidance of course.

Both say that Alan Wake is important to her. Not just as a parautalitarian or a writer, but him as a person. She wouldn't say they're perfect for one another or even meant to be. Those notion are almost too romantic and storybook for her. She loves him and he loves her. That's enough.

She watches his reactions as he sleeps. He small smile makes one tug on her own face and she rests her pounding head against his arm. It's tempting to simply slide back into sleep. Her injury certainly wouldn't mind. Night isn't safe in Bright Falls with the active threshold. They just need to push through it for the night so they can rest in the morning.

« Hopefully Saga is back in the morning. Then, we can move on with tackling Scratch and putting an end to this whole damn thing. Rest comes after that, then a trip back to New York. All the paperwork and official things for the Bureau with Alan... then home. It seems like a lot of steps, but, we'll work through it. »

Her hand slides from his in order to wrap around his arm. They need to find hum better clothes not covered in dried dirt and blood. ]

[ He's already slowly waking back up even though part of him stubbornly keeps his eyes closed. When was the last time he was able to rest, even for a little while? He can't remember, and no amount of trying can bring the memories to the surface. She needs rest the most, or so he believes, but there's a part of him that wants nothing more than to just sleep for a little while longer.

But darkness will be returning soon, and of course, night isn't safe for any of them, not with the threshold being active and the Dark Presence grasping for anything that it can use.

Alan's smile fades again and is replaced by a frown as he shifts even as Jesse rests her head against his arm. Her hand wraps around his arm too, and he briefly stills. He has to wake up again, but it's not what he wants. He wants to just rest with her for a little while longer.

But sleep, it seems, is already loosening its grip on him and he feels awareness returning. A low mumble escapes him as he grumbles in protest about having to wake up before he's ready. One eye slowly opens followed by the other, and immediately, his gaze focuses on hers. ]

... Hey.

[ The clothes he's wearing haven't bothered him until now. Maybe it's just that he somehow grew used to running around wearing blood and dirt-stained clothes. Has he done that before? It feels like something that's familiar but only vaguely. Still, even though he might be accustomed to it, he's realizing that they're not particularly comfortable, and he must be unsettling to look at. He's surprised more people haven't recoiled from him or looked at him with suspicion, because anyone wearing bloodstained clothes can't be innocent, right? ]

Edited 2024-02-11 22:32 (UTC)

[ Jesse stills at the grumble of protest. She hadn't meant to wake him up. Alan may believe she needs the rest more, but she can see the years of the Dark Place on hum. What the toll has been mentally and emotionally. If he wanted to sleep the rest of the night under the light and with Polaris? She wouldn't stop him.

『 I lost her. I lost them. The guiding star. She's gone. ...You're gone, and I'm alone. I'm always alone. 』

The words echo through the Hotline. A message Alan sent her before--between the loops. Her hands curl on his arm slightly as her eyes focus intently on his face. Then, her eyes focus on his as he looks for her gaze. ]

Hi, Alan. [ A small smile as the natural greeting slips out. The one she uses for him when he's awake. ] Morning.

[ It settles on her then that this is normal. What normal people do. They wake up next to each other in the morning--evening in their case. They see each other. Have breakfast. See each other off for their day.

« I want that. Not just with anyone... with him. I want him home and sharing the apartment with me.

We're right here, Alan. You can hear us. You're going to come home. This is the last time around. »

She lifts one hand to rest along his cheek. Does how badly she want this show in her eyes? ]

We should get you a change of clothes.

[ He knows he could sleep for a week if he had the chance, but that's the thing: he doesn't have the chance. None of them do right now, and it wouldn't be fair of him to sleep while others are going without. The only problem is shrugging off that mental toll so that he can be useful.

I can do it. I have to.

His gaze locks on hers immediately, and if she's looking, she'll see an intensity in his eyes, a longing to always be able to wake up with her there. It doesn't matter where they are, whether home in her apartment or here in a place that's not their own. As long as they're together, that's what matters. ]

Hi, Jesse. Morning. [ He smiles, because this just feels right, even though there's a lot about the situation they're in that's wrong. Being here with her is what feels right to him. ] That probably would sound to weird to anyone that's not us. It's nighttime, but- [ Time really is a funny thing for Alan, given the way the Dark Place works. ]

I guess it's fitting in a way, because I was always kind of a night owl even before all this.

[ His smile grows wider and his expression softens when she places her hand against his cheek. Oh, he really loves her and has it bad. The look in her eyes tells him she has it just as bad, though, but there's something more in that expression. A longing not unlike his own... a longing to make this real. One day, it will be. He just doesn't know how soon that day will be.

He shakes his head in response to her suggestion. ]

I'm guessing there's things we need to do to be ready. I'm good with what I've got. [ A change of clothes would be nice, but it's not a priority, really. ]

[ Her gaze softens into a fond look. She understands the meaning of his gaze. There is no doubt in her mind that after all this? They'll have that. He'll be free and out, and once things are settled, they'll be home.

They just need to finish "Return."

A gentle laugh comes from her. ] Sleeping all day makes it morning. Right? Time gets... weird during an AWE. Normal schedules don't really exist because of it. We're kind of used to it. And, Estevez's team is used to fighting the terrors of the night.

[ She glances down at his clothes and she frowns. ] I think we'd have the time for you to change.

[ A squeeze of hid arm before she slowly works to push herself up. It's obvious that she still needs to rest. Her body shakes slightly and she sways. There's no time for her to be down and out. Her team needs the Director. Alan needs the guiding star. ]

[ The truth is, Alan's ready to come home. Maybe it's embarrassing to admit just how ready he is. He's so ready for these nightmares to be over. He just wants to come home and sleep and when he's done sleeping (it might take him a week at this rate), he just wants to live with Jesse, and do all the things he hasn't been able to do for thirteen years.

He knows it ought to be embarrassing and he should stop, but he reaches out for her, for anything he can reach: hand or arm, it doesn't matter. He just wants to touch her. He actually wants her to lie down next to him so he can hold her for a moment, but time isn't on their side, as usual. ]

I guess it does. Morning, evening, it- well, sometimes I can't tell the difference, so I guess that means I'm used to it too.

[ There's no daytime in the Dark Place, at least not that Alan's seen. But there's danger present day or night, even though the threats seem to come out mostly at night. That does little to reassure him, though, because there's no pretending that the threats don't exist. There's no putting the poster back up on the wall anymore. ]

Yeah, but... we still have go plan our movements and who's going to be handling what. Well, I'm just going to go where you tell me to, but- you know what I mean.

[ He glances at himself and frowns as well, but he's quick to look back up at her. ]

It's not like there's a department store around here. [ Even if there was, he wouldn't waste time on going there unless she insisted. ]

Just another thing to adjust to back in our reality, huh? [ Jesse tries to play the comment off as light, but, understands it's not quite that way for Alan. The adjustment won't be easy or pretty.

« Luckily he is going to have access to an entire system that knows about adjusting to "normal" life after contact with alien dimensions. » ] We need Saga to come back as well. From... wherever she's at. I'm not sure it's the same place as last time. Then, we can really start moving forward.

[ Alan awake, Saga with the Clicker, the Buearu ready for action. Everything is lining up.

His hand rests on her arm as she sits up and she pauses. An oddly gentle look takes her face at the motion. Once she's sat up, Jesse reaches up and rests her hand on top of his dirty and bloodied one. He really does need clean attire. Something to make him feel human and in touch with himself...

A knock comes at the door. Jesse looks over. ]

Hey, boss. [ Steve's voice comes through. Serious--mission mode. ] Anderson's here. You're going to want to come out with Wake.

Right. I've me a few. [ Jesse looks back down at Alan and gives a motion asking for his help in standing up. She hasn't fully recovered, hut she can move around at least. Once she is standing up. ] Ready?

Yeah, just another thing. [ Alan's smiling and his eyes are lit up, but there's a kind of tension in his jaw and neck that says he's not sure how well that adjustment is going to go. It's not going to go well at all, in his opinion. ]

Right. Saga's just as important to all this as anyone. [ There's a part of Alan that still feels bad for having drawn all of them into this mess, but they're here and there's no undoing it now. He doesn't quite have the same conviction that they're near the ending that Jesse does, but he wishes for it all the same.

His smile widens into the one he reserves specially for her. The touch of her hand on his only makes that smile grow. It still surprises him that she can stand to touch him when he's covered in dirt and blood and who knows what else, but somehow, even if she's feeling repulsed by him, she's never shown it.

He glances to the door when he hears the knock and the voice that belongs to Jesse's right hand man. His smile fades a little but it doesn't disappear entirely as Alan nods. He instantly offers whatever support she needs from him in order to stand up, whether that's a hand at her back or just a supportive hold on her arm. ]

Yeah. I'm ready. [ No, I'm not, but I don't have a choice. I can't let her know that. ]

[ His smile just makes her own eyes light up. Not in the same way they light up when Polaris is shinning through. It's her own happiness that comes forward. Seeing him happy and looking forward to something? It means a lot. He's found a purpose in something beyond just coming home. There's more for him to aspire to and grab ahold of.

« It will help him be able to transition home. »

Jesse pushes herself up to stand with his help. She stays there for a moment. Then, her hands squeeze his before turning and heading out of the office. She doesn't move too far from him incase he needs to help. That, and, she is aware he prefers not seeing her completely in the mode of Director.

She opens the door and steps outside. Steve turns to them and nods, all or his usual playfulness and bravado melted away into a stern man on guard. Further ahead in the center of the lobby is Saga, Agent Casey, and Estevez. ]

Saga. [ Jesse gives the FBI agent a gentle smile. Hopefully, some knowledge from the last loop has made its way through and Saga recongizes her. ] It seems like you're in a better state than most of us. Good.

Yeah, well, we would be better if it wasn't for your damn paranormal whatever screwing with us, Director. [ Casey grumbles. Jesse's eyes narrow. Something is off about the agent. ] And, where the hell have you BEEN, Anderson?

We can play catch up when the sun rises. I'm sure the Shadow isn't going to stick around and wait.

[ Jesse turns her attention to Estevez and Steve to check in with them.

Meanwhile, Casey winces but sends a glare towards Alan. Especially when Saga starts approaching him. ]

[ If not for the fact that he felt the need to stay close to Jesse in case she needed his help standing, Alan knows he'd be distracted by the presence of Saga and Casey, and Estevez too. It's not that he doesn't trust the other agents, but he doesn't feel at ease around them, not like he does with Jesse. Saga isn't nearly as pointed or forceful or blunt as Casey is, although she does have a way of getting to the point when she needs to. Estevez is direct too, but not as cutting as Casey can be. But still, the only people in the room that Alan truly feels comfortable around are Steve and Jesse.

He just stands by as the agents exchange words, feeling as though this is one situation in which his input isn't needed. He's sure someone in the group would tell him that he's already caused enough harm and now they're forced to do damage control because of him. When Casey shoots that glare his direction, he just stares back at the other man, unsure what he should do other than stand there. As far as he's concerned, he deserves the pointed glares and harsh words.

He looks away from Casey when Saga begins to approach him. ]

So, Wake, I have the Cl-

[ She starts to say something, but the rest of her sentence is lost, because she's just spotted Alan gripping his head and bending over as a sudden pain seems to strike him without warning. ]

N- Shit, not now...! [ Fingers tighten against his head as the pain increases and he hunches over. It came on so suddenly and so strongly, but it's sending off all the warning bells in his mind. All he can think of is getting Saga and Casey and everyone else to leave. They need to leave before it's too late. ]

Saga, you- get out of here. Get out of here right now. [ It's not safe. They can't stay here.

Saga's brow furrows in confusion as she watches Alan still holding his head. ] Wake? [ Something tells her they should do as he said, but she finds herself pausing in spite of herself. ]

Edited 2024-02-19 06:05 (UTC)

[ If Jesse could hear his thoughts? She'd playfully point out that neither agent has an alien resonance literally generating from their person. That wouldn't be what he means, but, she figures it could bring a smile to his face or at least a roll of his eyes. Something to ease him down and make him more willing to talk. Then again, with what Estevez said was the situation when they finally caught Alan? Nothing would make him comfortable around Agent Casey.

Polaris tugs at Jesse's mind the moment Saga speaks up. A sudden bolt of urgency passes through the Director, and she whirls around. Saga is cut off by Alan hitting the floor, and the conversation with her ranger and agent is on the back burner.

It all happens in an instant.

Steve is by Saga, arm up, gesturing her back away from Alan. Jesse dashes over to the Writer, despite how the normal paranormal movement leaves her head pounding and disorientation threatens her. She's kneeling at his side. Estevez is barking orders for agents to take Casey and Saga out of the room. Steve is already making the movements to that.

Jesse gently touches Alan's arm.

Polaris flares up immediately in a way she's never done around Alan before. Jesse recongizes the feeling--Polaris reacts that way to certain things. Other hostile alien entities. Things that are a threat to Polaris' resonance. The Hiss. The Dark Presence.

Her hands clamp down around Alan's shoulders as Polaris seems to suddenly turn herself up to ten. It's not painful this time.

« ...Wait, this time? » ]

Alan. Alan!

[ No, this isn't- Why didn't I know this was coming? This wasn't supposed to happen.

Things were falling into place. Maybe the ending wasn't close, but it seemed like the pieces were beginning to line up in the way they needed them to. Maybe it was foolish for them to hope. But maybe this is just a curve in the road. Maybe it's not as bad as it seems.

The Clicker. We can fix this with the Clicker.

Alan's knees dig further into the ground below him and he hunches over more as the pressure in his head intensifies. A laugh echoes inside his mind, a laugh that doesn't belong to him. It strikes fear into Alan, and he knows in this moment that this isn't going to end well. ]

Get- Get Saga out of here. Get the Clicker away, don't let him get it. [ Maybe the him Alan's talking about is lost on some of the people in the room, but hopefully his point gets across anyway. He can't tell if Saga's still there, or if she's been removed from the room, but he hopes that she has. Everyone needs to get out of here. It's not safe.

Jesse touches his arm, and Polaris flares up, reacting to something. But something inside Alan reacts too, and he flinches, not from the pain in his head but from something that doesn't like Polaris. He's never flinched away from Jesse like that before as far as he knows, but something made him do it now.

He feels Jesse's hands on his shoulders and he just wants to lean into her touch, but he can't. It's not safe for her either. A spike of pain shoots through his head and he jerks involuntarily, fingers curling more into his hair. ]

Leave. Jesse, you- you need to leave. It's- You can't.

[ He wants to say more, but he's cut off as the pressure in his head continues to grow. ]

Edited 2024-02-20 05:04 (UTC)

[ Jesse's head snaps up and she nods to Steve. The ranger is immediately shuffling Saga to the back door, with Estevez behind him practically dragging Casey. Bureau staff starts to funnel out. Her green eyes dart back to the man she's beside, hands gently curly on his shoulders to try and comfort him.

« Can he sense where Scratch is? I guess it makes sense. Given their connection. How they're connected to the Dark Presence. Alan mentioned that Scratch and the Dark Presence were interchangeable at one point. »

She doesn't react to how he flinches away. Polaris is on high alert and trying to amplify herself to be louder than the other entity encroaching on their space. It's hard, as there's little light, and the few HRAs they do have. Not to mention that her host is weak as well. Still, the seemingly benevolent resonance tries to build--even using that spark of Light that remains inside the Writer. ]

I'm not leaving. [ Her hands curl more. She can't leave him vulnerable to the Dark Presence. There's no telling what could happen if it finally got what it wanted. ] Just focus on Polaris, we'll--

[ Jesse suddenly finds herself shoved back by a force. She can barely catch herself with her own powers. Her hands slam onto the ground to stop the projection of the sudden burst of paranormal energy. She finally comes to a stop at the Control Point, but she's hunched over and trying to catch her breath. Strands of hair fall from the braided ponytail. Jesse can feel her body quake from its own weakness from the assault the night before.

« I can't be down. I can't stop. They need me. Alan, he's... »

Polaris flares again, shining brightly around her host. The youngest Director of the Federal Bureau of Control looks over towards the man she has tried her hardest to save. The suddenly bright green eyes fall on him as he suddenly stands up.

It suddenly feels like her stomach has fallen out. Her eyes widen as she recognizes who is in the room with her now. It's not Alan Wake. A sudden fear seems to grip her that she wishes she couldn't explain. Except, she knows exactly why she is afraid even if nothing in her posture or expression shows it.

The last time shes was in the same room with him...

Pain spikes through the wound from her head. She lowers herself again, eyes shut as the pain itself makes her body tremble. The wound is the same one as before. Except the man in the room gave it to her before. ]

OCEANVIEW III

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