synthneon | oceanview || ❝ made a promise i'm coming out alive. ❞

oceanview || ❝ made a promise i'm coming out alive. ❞

OCEANVIEW III

and now i'm wide awake.

Oh, I died like a million times.
Through the waves, I break
The nightmares finally over CODE BY TESSISAMESS

I was hit harder this time. You've been constantly fighting it. So... we both need a breather. [ Jesse's tone signifies she won't take no for an answer, but she isn't necessarily arguing with his point either. She just wants him near by when she's resting. It's easier to protect him when he's closer; easier to keep the Dark Presence at bay when Polaris is with him. ] The benches here... they're not really made for two people. Hopefully you don't mind the floor.

[ A smile tugs on her face at his worry. ] Well. Good thing I can float us both in the air if it does end up pulled out. That'd really piss off the Dark Presence.

[ Her eyes drift down at his comment. She can't deny that the possibility is there. If Scratch is really his doppleganger? He'd want everything in Alan's life. Which means at some point he wanted Alice like he apparently now wants her. She frowns slightly. Alice seems to be a missing hole in all this. She can't seem to get anything about Alice Wake in terms of information--maybe because the story is blocking it. Why would it block it? Wouldn't Scratch be after Alice the same way...?

She closes her eyes as her head pounds.

« Okay. We'll think about it later, I guess. »

The hand at his jaw brushes against his beard once more. Jesse meant it when she said she made her choice. That choice is Alan. She's smart enough to know who Scratch is and how he isn't the man she loves. Scratch, in her mind, is just as pale of an imitation as the esseJ in the Antique Mirror back in the Oldest House. Something that really isn't the person they're reflecting and thus takes on a life of its own. Never quite the original, but always wanting to be it. ]

Well, I doubt "his side" would make room for Polaris. [ A light movement of her head is given to indicate a shake. ] Which means it's going nowhere.

[ Realizing they're at the top of the stairs, Jesse raises the hand from his jaw. Her fingers make a motion and the door opens for him. She lowers her hand to rest along her stomach then. Alan will fuss enough that she's even used her powers to open the door with his hands full. Anything more than that might set him over the edge.

Voices filter in from the hallway. Footsteps, and then Steve is in the hallway with his hand now wrapped appropriately. He stares, looking from Alan, then down to Jesse in his arms, then back to Alan. ]

I leave you kids alone for five minutes...

Steve. [ Jesse would roll her eyes, so instead, her tone will have to show the irritation at his dad jokes and tones at the moment. ] Basement is cleared out now. Anything that gets in it won't be getting along with Polaris down there.

Right. [ Steve sighs and shakes his head. He motions then for Alan to follow after him. ] Samuels it is for the both of you. Shit, boss.

I'm fine.

[ He looks like he wants to argue more, but the tone Jesse's using tells him maybe he should stop for now. ]

I don't mind. The floor is fine. [ How many times did I end up on the floor in the Writer's Room? I don't remember, but I know I've been there. ]

Well, I'm all for payback, but the Dark Presence bites and has sharp teeth. Do something like that, and it's bound to bite back. [ I'd let it bite me first before it ever got a chance at taking out Jesse.

The Dark Presence isn't dragging him away or forcing his head underwater, but Alan's suddenly finding himself having to wrestle with the old fears and worries that are trying to rise to the surface again. He can't let them; he doesn't want to. He just wants to be here, awake and mostly safe for the moment, and more importantly, he wants to be here with Jesse and for her.

He smiles when he feels her brushing her hand against his jaw and his beard; he really likes how that feels. It's strange, maybe even silly, but it relaxes him. She relaxes him, calms him down when he's letting fear take hold. ]

But is that enough to stop him? That's what I don't know. If he wants something bad enough, I think he'd do anything to get it. But I can't do anything about that now, can I? So let's focus on you getting the rest you need, and we'll figure that out later.

[ Otherwise Alan will just end up getting lost in his own mind trying to find ways to come to terms with this.

And as predicted, when he realizes that Jesse used her abilities to open the door, he glances down at her with his eyebrows raised, indicating his slight disapproval. She's used up enough of her resources already. He could've found a way to open the door even with his hands full. But it doesn't matter now, and he doesn't have time to comment on it, as Steve has just joined them in the hallway. ]

Hey, Steve. [ He shakes his head and rolls his eyes in a half-exasperated gesture. ] She needs it more than me. Whatever she did during the fight took it out of her. Again.

[ She isn't denying she needs to rest and regain her strength. Just that she wants him nearby. They're stronger against the Dark Presence when they are together. She can help keep him awake, and Polaris can make the Champion of Light blinding. The Dark Presence can't wash him away if they're together. ]

I'd say we could find a bed, but... time doesn't seem to be on our side this loop. [ An uncomfortable sigh escapes as her head pounds. ] Well, I've fought against plenty of paranormal entities. It'll just be the latest one on the list.

[ She instinctively curls into him by just a fraction at the commentary about Scratch. While she will fight him and face him head on? She won't deny that Scratch scares her. How could he not? He brutally murdered her in the first loop. Now, he's obsessing over her? It sets all the warning bells off in her mind and makes every part of her skin crawl.

Jesse's eyes snap up to Alan at "Again." It ruffles her feathers, but, it's clear that she's not disagreeing. Rather, she doesn't like it being brought to attention. He just isn't wrong, so there's no reason to be upset. Just annoyed at the situation. ]

Yeah. I can tell. [ Steve just grins at the pointed look from the Director. ] It's not surprising. Seems like your dark spooky cloud isn't really friends with our home resonance.

[ Steve leads Alan down the hallway and into the now overly familiar main lobby of the Sheriff Station. Samuels and Estevez look up, both completely baffled by the site in front of them. Samuels directs Alan to set the Director down, sitting up, so he can begin examining the head wound. Jesse seems almost like an annoyed child by being examined so closely, but, she doesn't put up much of a fight.

The wound is caused by blunt trauma, but Samuels can't identify what weapon it was exactly. They'd need to stitch the wound. Thankfully they have some medical equipment to do so, even after stitching up Estevez. Samuels looks Alan over as well, deciding that it won't need the attention the Director's wound will. So, some good news at least.

Jesse doesn't really remember much from the examination and then medical dealings after it. She probably slipped in and out or consciousness along the way. Samuels didn't seem worried, given the blood loss and the amount of paranatural energy Jesse had used since they set up shop in the Sheriff Office. He orders everyone to do what rest they can, as it'll probably be another wave of attacks when nightfall comes.

She stirs slightly, opening her eyes to see the waning afternoon sun filtering into the main office of the building. She gently turns to her side, trying to lift herself up to sit. Her body feels week and her head fuzzy.

« Great. Well, I just need to shake it off. I can't be down and out of the fight. » ]

Edited 2024-01-30 04:04 (UTC)

[ Well, as luck would have it, he wants to be nearby too. He wants to be nearby and never separated from her again if he can help it. Of course, he's aware that he can't always get everything he wants, but this is one thing that he absolutely wants. ]

Well, I think we should find a bed for you, because you can still rest for a little while. You rest, I'll sit with you and keep an eye on you. Do you think you'll ever stop? I know you made it sound as though directors don't retire, but are you going to keep fighting off those entities forever?

[ He's quick to tighten his hold on her supportively when he feels her curl into him. He wants to protect her from Scratch, to keep Scratch from ever reaching her again. He's not sure if he can, and in fact, it seems as though everything is stacked against him, but that's still not stopping him or lessening his resolve.

And he hasn't missed the way she looks at him, clearly not liking how he said "again". But it comes from a place of worry, and a place of fear that he'll lose her. ]

Just one more thing that comes back to me, huh? I'm responsible for so much of this, and that just means that there's more for me to fix.

[ Leaving her side while Samuel tends to her is out of the qeustion, but he doesn't intend to get in the way either. He just watches as Samuels does his work, worrying about Jesse when she slips in between states of consciousness. But Samuels doesn't appear worried, so Alan tells himself that it's fine. This is normal for someone having their injuries tended to.

Eventually, it seems as though she's fallen asleep, and Samuels gives orders to everyone to rest while they can. Alan has no intention of leaving her, not even to rest, so he just positions himself next to her and holds her hand while waiting for her to wake up.

At some point while he's waiting, he dozes off himself and so he misses it when she begins to stir. But her movement causes him to shift slightly although he also doesn't rouse right away. ]

[ Jesse's quiet for a long moment at his question. ] No. Not... not with how Polaris and I are now. Even if I'm no longer the Director? They'll probably just attract to me because of Polaris.

[ She looks to the side with a frown on her face. Her hands curl into sides. ] I get it if that's a deal breaker. You probably want nothing to do after all this once we finish this loop. That's fine.

[ She knows they've had the conversation before. She knows what his answer was before, but, she can't help but worry he will grow tired, annoyed, and resentful of the world they've been forced to admit exists. Letting him know she understands if he wants to leave it all behind is something she feels she has to do.

« Even if being left alone in this world is the last thing I want. »

Jesse becomes aware that she can't move one of her hands as she thought she could. Her eyes dart down to see that Alan is holding said hand and has fallen asleep beside her. She instantly stills.

He insists that she rest and recover. He puts himself after that. She wonders if that's because he believes everything that happens is something he deserves... or if he always put others first. If he did that, then why was it when he hit thr writer's block that he fell to pieces? Alan may day that Jesse is a complicated puzzle, but, she feels he is just as complicated.

If not more so.

She notes the gash on his head has been tended to--glued shut by Samuels. Her own injury gives a dull ache and her body still feels heavy while she feels unstable.

« Come on. I need to push through this. I can't be down and out. There's too much at stake. Once we finish up this AWE? Then, I'll stop. Because he'll be home and we can rest. »

Jesse turns and gently leans against him. Her whole weight isn't in the motion so he can hopefully stay asleep. She takes a moment to properly take him in. A small smile touches her face that she can't help. She loves him. Maybe too much.

« What happens if I have to choose between him or the Buearu? Is it ever going to come to that? God, I hope not. I can't... I can't leave him behind. Or them. Anyone. »

She frowns then.

« Why can't I shake this feeling that something bad is going to happen? It feels like the last loop. So, why... why does it feel this way? » ]

Then they'll be attracted to all three of us. [ Alan's tone is resolute. Determined. Jesse won't be alone when it comes to dealing with otherworldly entities. He'll do whatever he can to help, including fighting alongside her if he's allowed to. ]

It's not a dealbreaker. Why would it be one? Me being how I am could be a dealbreaker for you. Can you be with someone who jumps at his own shadow and is scared of the monsters in his own head?

[ He's probably asked her a version of that before, but he still wonders if she'll tire of having to be around someone as jumpy as him. ]

I have no intention of leaving any of this behind. I won't leave you behind. [ Not again. Never again, if I have anything to say about it.

The conversation ceases as she falls asleep and he follows, and when she leans against him, the slight frown on his face (most likely because the gash on his head still hurts even though it's been tended to) turns into a small smile even though he remains asleep for now. They probably don't have long to rest, and Alan will have to awaken soon, and when he does, the reality of the situation they're in will fall back onto him, but for right now, he's content: as content as it's possible to be.

A few more minutes pass and Alan stirs while still holding onto her hand. He shifts slightly as if he's beginning to awaken but his eyes stay closed for a few moments more. ]

[ Her answer to his determined statements is simply leaning into his hold. She doesn't want to let him go either. There would be someone at the Buearu who would insist it's all a bad idea, nut, Jesse has always followed her own instincts.

And Polaris guidance of course.

Both say that Alan Wake is important to her. Not just as a parautalitarian or a writer, but him as a person. She wouldn't say they're perfect for one another or even meant to be. Those notion are almost too romantic and storybook for her. She loves him and he loves her. That's enough.

She watches his reactions as he sleeps. He small smile makes one tug on her own face and she rests her pounding head against his arm. It's tempting to simply slide back into sleep. Her injury certainly wouldn't mind. Night isn't safe in Bright Falls with the active threshold. They just need to push through it for the night so they can rest in the morning.

« Hopefully Saga is back in the morning. Then, we can move on with tackling Scratch and putting an end to this whole damn thing. Rest comes after that, then a trip back to New York. All the paperwork and official things for the Bureau with Alan... then home. It seems like a lot of steps, but, we'll work through it. »

Her hand slides from his in order to wrap around his arm. They need to find hum better clothes not covered in dried dirt and blood. ]

[ He's already slowly waking back up even though part of him stubbornly keeps his eyes closed. When was the last time he was able to rest, even for a little while? He can't remember, and no amount of trying can bring the memories to the surface. She needs rest the most, or so he believes, but there's a part of him that wants nothing more than to just sleep for a little while longer.

But darkness will be returning soon, and of course, night isn't safe for any of them, not with the threshold being active and the Dark Presence grasping for anything that it can use.

Alan's smile fades again and is replaced by a frown as he shifts even as Jesse rests her head against his arm. Her hand wraps around his arm too, and he briefly stills. He has to wake up again, but it's not what he wants. He wants to just rest with her for a little while longer.

But sleep, it seems, is already loosening its grip on him and he feels awareness returning. A low mumble escapes him as he grumbles in protest about having to wake up before he's ready. One eye slowly opens followed by the other, and immediately, his gaze focuses on hers. ]

... Hey.

[ The clothes he's wearing haven't bothered him until now. Maybe it's just that he somehow grew used to running around wearing blood and dirt-stained clothes. Has he done that before? It feels like something that's familiar but only vaguely. Still, even though he might be accustomed to it, he's realizing that they're not particularly comfortable, and he must be unsettling to look at. He's surprised more people haven't recoiled from him or looked at him with suspicion, because anyone wearing bloodstained clothes can't be innocent, right? ]

Edited 2024-02-11 22:32 (UTC)

[ Jesse stills at the grumble of protest. She hadn't meant to wake him up. Alan may believe she needs the rest more, but she can see the years of the Dark Place on hum. What the toll has been mentally and emotionally. If he wanted to sleep the rest of the night under the light and with Polaris? She wouldn't stop him.

『 I lost her. I lost them. The guiding star. She's gone. ...You're gone, and I'm alone. I'm always alone. 』

The words echo through the Hotline. A message Alan sent her before--between the loops. Her hands curl on his arm slightly as her eyes focus intently on his face. Then, her eyes focus on his as he looks for her gaze. ]

Hi, Alan. [ A small smile as the natural greeting slips out. The one she uses for him when he's awake. ] Morning.

[ It settles on her then that this is normal. What normal people do. They wake up next to each other in the morning--evening in their case. They see each other. Have breakfast. See each other off for their day.

« I want that. Not just with anyone... with him. I want him home and sharing the apartment with me.

We're right here, Alan. You can hear us. You're going to come home. This is the last time around. »

She lifts one hand to rest along his cheek. Does how badly she want this show in her eyes? ]

We should get you a change of clothes.

[ He knows he could sleep for a week if he had the chance, but that's the thing: he doesn't have the chance. None of them do right now, and it wouldn't be fair of him to sleep while others are going without. The only problem is shrugging off that mental toll so that he can be useful.

I can do it. I have to.

His gaze locks on hers immediately, and if she's looking, she'll see an intensity in his eyes, a longing to always be able to wake up with her there. It doesn't matter where they are, whether home in her apartment or here in a place that's not their own. As long as they're together, that's what matters. ]

Hi, Jesse. Morning. [ He smiles, because this just feels right, even though there's a lot about the situation they're in that's wrong. Being here with her is what feels right to him. ] That probably would sound to weird to anyone that's not us. It's nighttime, but- [ Time really is a funny thing for Alan, given the way the Dark Place works. ]

I guess it's fitting in a way, because I was always kind of a night owl even before all this.

[ His smile grows wider and his expression softens when she places her hand against his cheek. Oh, he really loves her and has it bad. The look in her eyes tells him she has it just as bad, though, but there's something more in that expression. A longing not unlike his own... a longing to make this real. One day, it will be. He just doesn't know how soon that day will be.

He shakes his head in response to her suggestion. ]

I'm guessing there's things we need to do to be ready. I'm good with what I've got. [ A change of clothes would be nice, but it's not a priority, really. ]

[ Her gaze softens into a fond look. She understands the meaning of his gaze. There is no doubt in her mind that after all this? They'll have that. He'll be free and out, and once things are settled, they'll be home.

They just need to finish "Return."

A gentle laugh comes from her. ] Sleeping all day makes it morning. Right? Time gets... weird during an AWE. Normal schedules don't really exist because of it. We're kind of used to it. And, Estevez's team is used to fighting the terrors of the night.

[ She glances down at his clothes and she frowns. ] I think we'd have the time for you to change.

[ A squeeze of hid arm before she slowly works to push herself up. It's obvious that she still needs to rest. Her body shakes slightly and she sways. There's no time for her to be down and out. Her team needs the Director. Alan needs the guiding star. ]

[ The truth is, Alan's ready to come home. Maybe it's embarrassing to admit just how ready he is. He's so ready for these nightmares to be over. He just wants to come home and sleep and when he's done sleeping (it might take him a week at this rate), he just wants to live with Jesse, and do all the things he hasn't been able to do for thirteen years.

He knows it ought to be embarrassing and he should stop, but he reaches out for her, for anything he can reach: hand or arm, it doesn't matter. He just wants to touch her. He actually wants her to lie down next to him so he can hold her for a moment, but time isn't on their side, as usual. ]

I guess it does. Morning, evening, it- well, sometimes I can't tell the difference, so I guess that means I'm used to it too.

[ There's no daytime in the Dark Place, at least not that Alan's seen. But there's danger present day or night, even though the threats seem to come out mostly at night. That does little to reassure him, though, because there's no pretending that the threats don't exist. There's no putting the poster back up on the wall anymore. ]

Yeah, but... we still have go plan our movements and who's going to be handling what. Well, I'm just going to go where you tell me to, but- you know what I mean.

[ He glances at himself and frowns as well, but he's quick to look back up at her. ]

It's not like there's a department store around here. [ Even if there was, he wouldn't waste time on going there unless she insisted. ]

Just another thing to adjust to back in our reality, huh? [ Jesse tries to play the comment off as light, but, understands it's not quite that way for Alan. The adjustment won't be easy or pretty.

« Luckily he is going to have access to an entire system that knows about adjusting to "normal" life after contact with alien dimensions. » ] We need Saga to come back as well. From... wherever she's at. I'm not sure it's the same place as last time. Then, we can really start moving forward.

[ Alan awake, Saga with the Clicker, the Buearu ready for action. Everything is lining up.

His hand rests on her arm as she sits up and she pauses. An oddly gentle look takes her face at the motion. Once she's sat up, Jesse reaches up and rests her hand on top of his dirty and bloodied one. He really does need clean attire. Something to make him feel human and in touch with himself...

A knock comes at the door. Jesse looks over. ]

Hey, boss. [ Steve's voice comes through. Serious--mission mode. ] Anderson's here. You're going to want to come out with Wake.

Right. I've me a few. [ Jesse looks back down at Alan and gives a motion asking for his help in standing up. She hasn't fully recovered, hut she can move around at least. Once she is standing up. ] Ready?

Yeah, just another thing. [ Alan's smiling and his eyes are lit up, but there's a kind of tension in his jaw and neck that says he's not sure how well that adjustment is going to go. It's not going to go well at all, in his opinion. ]

Right. Saga's just as important to all this as anyone. [ There's a part of Alan that still feels bad for having drawn all of them into this mess, but they're here and there's no undoing it now. He doesn't quite have the same conviction that they're near the ending that Jesse does, but he wishes for it all the same.

His smile widens into the one he reserves specially for her. The touch of her hand on his only makes that smile grow. It still surprises him that she can stand to touch him when he's covered in dirt and blood and who knows what else, but somehow, even if she's feeling repulsed by him, she's never shown it.

He glances to the door when he hears the knock and the voice that belongs to Jesse's right hand man. His smile fades a little but it doesn't disappear entirely as Alan nods. He instantly offers whatever support she needs from him in order to stand up, whether that's a hand at her back or just a supportive hold on her arm. ]

Yeah. I'm ready. [ No, I'm not, but I don't have a choice. I can't let her know that. ]

[ His smile just makes her own eyes light up. Not in the same way they light up when Polaris is shinning through. It's her own happiness that comes forward. Seeing him happy and looking forward to something? It means a lot. He's found a purpose in something beyond just coming home. There's more for him to aspire to and grab ahold of.

« It will help him be able to transition home. »

Jesse pushes herself up to stand with his help. She stays there for a moment. Then, her hands squeeze his before turning and heading out of the office. She doesn't move too far from him incase he needs to help. That, and, she is aware he prefers not seeing her completely in the mode of Director.

She opens the door and steps outside. Steve turns to them and nods, all or his usual playfulness and bravado melted away into a stern man on guard. Further ahead in the center of the lobby is Saga, Agent Casey, and Estevez. ]

Saga. [ Jesse gives the FBI agent a gentle smile. Hopefully, some knowledge from the last loop has made its way through and Saga recongizes her. ] It seems like you're in a better state than most of us. Good.

Yeah, well, we would be better if it wasn't for your damn paranormal whatever screwing with us, Director. [ Casey grumbles. Jesse's eyes narrow. Something is off about the agent. ] And, where the hell have you BEEN, Anderson?

We can play catch up when the sun rises. I'm sure the Shadow isn't going to stick around and wait.

[ Jesse turns her attention to Estevez and Steve to check in with them.

Meanwhile, Casey winces but sends a glare towards Alan. Especially when Saga starts approaching him. ]

[ If not for the fact that he felt the need to stay close to Jesse in case she needed his help standing, Alan knows he'd be distracted by the presence of Saga and Casey, and Estevez too. It's not that he doesn't trust the other agents, but he doesn't feel at ease around them, not like he does with Jesse. Saga isn't nearly as pointed or forceful or blunt as Casey is, although she does have a way of getting to the point when she needs to. Estevez is direct too, but not as cutting as Casey can be. But still, the only people in the room that Alan truly feels comfortable around are Steve and Jesse.

He just stands by as the agents exchange words, feeling as though this is one situation in which his input isn't needed. He's sure someone in the group would tell him that he's already caused enough harm and now they're forced to do damage control because of him. When Casey shoots that glare his direction, he just stares back at the other man, unsure what he should do other than stand there. As far as he's concerned, he deserves the pointed glares and harsh words.

He looks away from Casey when Saga begins to approach him. ]

So, Wake, I have the Cl-

[ She starts to say something, but the rest of her sentence is lost, because she's just spotted Alan gripping his head and bending over as a sudden pain seems to strike him without warning. ]

N- Shit, not now...! [ Fingers tighten against his head as the pain increases and he hunches over. It came on so suddenly and so strongly, but it's sending off all the warning bells in his mind. All he can think of is getting Saga and Casey and everyone else to leave. They need to leave before it's too late. ]

Saga, you- get out of here. Get out of here right now. [ It's not safe. They can't stay here.

Saga's brow furrows in confusion as she watches Alan still holding his head. ] Wake? [ Something tells her they should do as he said, but she finds herself pausing in spite of herself. ]

Edited 2024-02-19 06:05 (UTC)

[ If Jesse could hear his thoughts? She'd playfully point out that neither agent has an alien resonance literally generating from their person. That wouldn't be what he means, but, she figures it could bring a smile to his face or at least a roll of his eyes. Something to ease him down and make him more willing to talk. Then again, with what Estevez said was the situation when they finally caught Alan? Nothing would make him comfortable around Agent Casey.

Polaris tugs at Jesse's mind the moment Saga speaks up. A sudden bolt of urgency passes through the Director, and she whirls around. Saga is cut off by Alan hitting the floor, and the conversation with her ranger and agent is on the back burner.

It all happens in an instant.

Steve is by Saga, arm up, gesturing her back away from Alan. Jesse dashes over to the Writer, despite how the normal paranormal movement leaves her head pounding and disorientation threatens her. She's kneeling at his side. Estevez is barking orders for agents to take Casey and Saga out of the room. Steve is already making the movements to that.

Jesse gently touches Alan's arm.

Polaris flares up immediately in a way she's never done around Alan before. Jesse recongizes the feeling--Polaris reacts that way to certain things. Other hostile alien entities. Things that are a threat to Polaris' resonance. The Hiss. The Dark Presence.

Her hands clamp down around Alan's shoulders as Polaris seems to suddenly turn herself up to ten. It's not painful this time.

« ...Wait, this time? » ]

Alan. Alan!

[ No, this isn't- Why didn't I know this was coming? This wasn't supposed to happen.

Things were falling into place. Maybe the ending wasn't close, but it seemed like the pieces were beginning to line up in the way they needed them to. Maybe it was foolish for them to hope. But maybe this is just a curve in the road. Maybe it's not as bad as it seems.

The Clicker. We can fix this with the Clicker.

Alan's knees dig further into the ground below him and he hunches over more as the pressure in his head intensifies. A laugh echoes inside his mind, a laugh that doesn't belong to him. It strikes fear into Alan, and he knows in this moment that this isn't going to end well. ]

Get- Get Saga out of here. Get the Clicker away, don't let him get it. [ Maybe the him Alan's talking about is lost on some of the people in the room, but hopefully his point gets across anyway. He can't tell if Saga's still there, or if she's been removed from the room, but he hopes that she has. Everyone needs to get out of here. It's not safe.

Jesse touches his arm, and Polaris flares up, reacting to something. But something inside Alan reacts too, and he flinches, not from the pain in his head but from something that doesn't like Polaris. He's never flinched away from Jesse like that before as far as he knows, but something made him do it now.

He feels Jesse's hands on his shoulders and he just wants to lean into her touch, but he can't. It's not safe for her either. A spike of pain shoots through his head and he jerks involuntarily, fingers curling more into his hair. ]

Leave. Jesse, you- you need to leave. It's- You can't.

[ He wants to say more, but he's cut off as the pressure in his head continues to grow. ]

Edited 2024-02-20 05:04 (UTC)

[ Jesse's head snaps up and she nods to Steve. The ranger is immediately shuffling Saga to the back door, with Estevez behind him practically dragging Casey. Bureau staff starts to funnel out. Her green eyes dart back to the man she's beside, hands gently curly on his shoulders to try and comfort him.

« Can he sense where Scratch is? I guess it makes sense. Given their connection. How they're connected to the Dark Presence. Alan mentioned that Scratch and the Dark Presence were interchangeable at one point. »

She doesn't react to how he flinches away. Polaris is on high alert and trying to amplify herself to be louder than the other entity encroaching on their space. It's hard, as there's little light, and the few HRAs they do have. Not to mention that her host is weak as well. Still, the seemingly benevolent resonance tries to build--even using that spark of Light that remains inside the Writer. ]

I'm not leaving. [ Her hands curl more. She can't leave him vulnerable to the Dark Presence. There's no telling what could happen if it finally got what it wanted. ] Just focus on Polaris, we'll--

[ Jesse suddenly finds herself shoved back by a force. She can barely catch herself with her own powers. Her hands slam onto the ground to stop the projection of the sudden burst of paranormal energy. She finally comes to a stop at the Control Point, but she's hunched over and trying to catch her breath. Strands of hair fall from the braided ponytail. Jesse can feel her body quake from its own weakness from the assault the night before.

« I can't be down. I can't stop. They need me. Alan, he's... »

Polaris flares again, shining brightly around her host. The youngest Director of the Federal Bureau of Control looks over towards the man she has tried her hardest to save. The suddenly bright green eyes fall on him as he suddenly stands up.

It suddenly feels like her stomach has fallen out. Her eyes widen as she recognizes who is in the room with her now. It's not Alan Wake. A sudden fear seems to grip her that she wishes she couldn't explain. Except, she knows exactly why she is afraid even if nothing in her posture or expression shows it.

The last time shes was in the same room with him...

Pain spikes through the wound from her head. She lowers herself again, eyes shut as the pain itself makes her body tremble. The wound is the same one as before. Except the man in the room gave it to her before. ]

[ If he had the time, he would just let her touch him, but he doesn't. The pressure in his head is growing, and he can feel the Dark Presence taking over as he starts to lose more of himself to the darkness. It's taking over him and he feels a sense of regret as the things that make him him are getting drowned out. All the dreams he hoped to fulfill with Jesse are being washed away and there's nothing he can do to hold onto them.

I just wanted to escape all this and come home to her, but I guess the story has other ideas.

He presses himself just slightly against her hands and a look of regret comes to his eyes even as the pressure intensifies. I'm sorry, Jesse. I'm sorry for what might happen. I can't stop it... It's my fault.

Suddenly, Jesse's shoved backwards, away from him, and he grips his head harder as the pain crests to unbearable levels. But just as suddenly, it's gone and so is Alan. In his place is someone else, someone not Alan Wake. He straightens up, standing up from where he'd crouched on the floor, and his gaze turns immediately to lock onto Jesse's.

A slow smile, not at all like Alan's, begins to work its way across his face. ]

Well, well, if it isn't the famous redhead I've heard so much about. [ Scratch moves closer to her, slowly and one step at a time, and he lowers himself down until he's close to eye level with her. He reaches out with one hand, fingers outstretched, intending to touch her cheek. ]

It's all right, see? I'll take care of you now.

[ « How... how is Scratch here? Before, he only showed up with the Dark Presence. Like some weird twisted harbringer. This, this is different. He even FEELS different just standing in the room. It's not the same Scratch--is it? What changed? How did he get HERE? »

Her eyes widen slightly as Scratch makes his way to her. Her head is still lowered, hair a mess, body struggling to even pull itself up from laying down on her side. The realization dawns on her.

« Alan wasn't sensing Scratch or the Dark Presence. It was taking control of him--drowning him out. It came over with him when he crossed the Threshold. But, h-how? WE helped him get the Dark Presence out. He was free. Awake. How...what happened after that guy Tim took us away from the room he was stuck in? »

Then, Scratch speaks.

Jesse feels as if cold water has been dumped over her entire body.

"We just don't VIBE together, if you catch my drift. I like it dark, chaotic, a little spunky. You.... you, you're just too damn mellow for me, Miss Director. And, I can't have you killing my vibe like that..."

Her eyes snap to his the moment he kneels down beside her. She can tell it isn't Alan. Gray eyes are shadowed and turned dark like the water of Cauldron Lake. There's an ease and confidence--almost swagger--that seems to ooze from him, where Alan would recoil at the ideas now.

Her panting is still the loudest thing in the room. The sounds from outside have been drowned out. Almost as if Scratch has somehow dominated all other frequencies except Polaris. It's just him and her and the thought alone fills her with dread.

His fingers--Alan's fingers--brush against her cheek. She can feel Polaris wanting to dial to eleven and overpower Scratch. Except, Jesse's too weak and there is nothing else to amplify off of now. The Champion of Light has been buried beneath dark waters.

« Alan... »

Jesse is terrified although it doesn't show.

« He found us again. He caught us. I... I can't slip away this time. He's... I can't MOVE! » ]

You killed me last time. The time before that. [ There is a quiver in her voice, but it doesn't stop the bladed remark from slipping out. ] Not what I'd call caring for someone, Scratch.

You're going to kill me again, right? You'll have to work for it this time.

Now, now. [ Scratch's expression changes again to something almost apologetic. It looks strange on his face, almost as if it's one that doesn't suit him or he's not used to wearing it. But he has to sell this and make it convincing. Not that he'll be phrasing it that way to her. ] I know I was wrong to do that. I was selfish and cruel, but I've turned over a new leaf, you see?

[ He smiles again but this time, it's purposefully diminished. Maybe too diminished in a calculated way. ]

I'd like to apologize and ask for another chance. I won't kill you, I promise. I'll show you how good I am at taking care of you.

[ He scoots in a little bit closer and one hand reaches for hers. ]

So, will you forgive me? I know that I made a huge mistake. More than one. But I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

[ His tone even manages to sound genuine, matching the best apologetic look he can put on. ]

[ Jesse can almost feel how everything in her thats tied to Polaris utterly revolts at the fact Scratch is trying to get closer to her. He is made of a resonance that Polaris is opposite of. She can't amplify off of it, and therefore, it's in opposition. Scratch doesn't seem to care much about that fact anymore.

« He's not even after the Clicker. Even though just mentioning it is what set all this off. So, simple. We don't mention it. We buy time for Estevez and Steve to get Casey snd Saga out of danger. We just need to hold out until morning. I think we can do it. It's not like I can really go anywhere right now anyways. »

Polaris shifts. She doesn't like the idea and Jesse can tell. Their options are limited with her being wounded and down. They make do for now.

Her eyes snap down to how he reaches out for her hand. She doesn't trust him one bit. A part of her still reacts just because it's the contact with Alan's body. Her gaze raises to his again as she feels that sense of revulsion come from deep inside. The part that she connected to Polaris with during the Hiss Invasion to become... what she is now.

« Stick with me, okay? Just trust me. Tell Steve where to go and guide him on how to get the others to safety. I'm the Director. Holding off the evil entities is part of my job. »

And given how involved she is with Alan? It's even more her responsibility.

Jesse forces her body to ease more onto the ground in a semi-relaxed state. The hand he touches flexes, but then flattens to the floor. The gesture is open for him to further it if he wants. Scratch has changed, and that much is obvious to see, but not in the way he says. Something chnaged from the earlier loops. Did something with Alan change and that's why? Scratch is his double. So, if one changes, the other one must too.

Right? ]

It's going to take more than that to convince me. [ Her tone is flat, but there is honesty in it too. She can only sell her plan by there being some truth to it. ] You don't just say "Sorry for killing you more than a few times, but I'm different now," and expect me to believe it so candidly.

[ « Let's see just how much he actually "cares." » ]

You could pull a knife out as soon as I turn my back and kill me then. [ Jesse pauses. ] You haven't even told me why you've had the sudden change of heart. You really expect me to believe you just grew a heart overnight? You hate me... and the resonance in me.

I'm not seeing how that adds up. You'll need to point the math out to me.

Edited 2024-02-21 10:22 (UTC)

Tough customer, huh? That's fair. I didn't expect this to be easy.

[ The pull to claim the Clicker for his own is still there, but Scratch has his sights set on something else: Jesse. Winning her over wasn't ever anything he wanted, but then, he's always wanted to take everything that's Alan's. If Jesse's connected to Alan, then that means Scratch wants to take her for his own. But it can't just be as simple as grabbing her and taking her by force. That's not really satisfying.

What is satisfying is winning her over and getting her to trust him. Whatever happens after that, well.... He can sense Polaris still, and a part of him still doesn't like sensing that resonance, but if Polaris and Jesse are part and parcel, then that's just how that is. Maybe he can win Polaris over too somehow.

He reaches for her hand, but she doesn't pull back as he expected she would. Rather than take her hand in his, he simply brushes his index finger against her hand and continues to smile even when her hand flattens against the floor. ]

Of course, of course. Pretty words aren't going to get me anywhere, are they? It's about finding the right words. Good thing I'm something of a wordsmith. But more importantly, I mean what I'm saying. I just-

[ He looks down and away from her for a second before looking back at her again. ]

I just want the chance to show you. [ He shakes his head and smiles a rueful sort of smile. ] It wasn't overnight, because of course that's impossible. But I don't hate you, or that resonance.

It's less a mathematical equation and more a slow development over time, if you know what I mean.

You're not the first to think it.

[ She may have let some of her walls down in becoming Director. Learning how to trust others around her. Believe what they said. Know that what they say and what they do adds up. It was the only reason she could trust Alan at the start--and the excitement of meeting another parautalitarian. Even then, she kept a reasonable distance, until it was obvious they gravitated too much to one another. Then, if all fell into place.

That's part of why she feels an uncomfortable shiver crawl up her spine as his finger trails down her hand. He has Alan's voice, his body, and can have the same mannerisms (if twisted slightly). He's still not Alan. It doesn't matter what words or actions he says. He'll never be Alan, nor will he replace him. It's obvious to her the difference between the Champion of Light and the Herald of Darkness.

Though, she can see why someone else would hesitate and think they're the same person. Scratch can mimic Alan down to the last second. He also seems to know things only Alan should know.

A wordsmith. It's something she's called Alan in their more private times. The ability of say the right thing at the right time to cause all her walls to fold.

« I really doubt Scratch could do that. »

Her eyebrows raise in a form of disbelief that shows she truly doesn't believe a word he says. Even if he does his best to sound like the man she loves. ]

So, you write one manuscript and you're a wordsmith? It took Alan writing short stories and a TV show to become that. [ Jesse knows it will be seen as something of a strike to the ego. Scratch hates being compared to the person he wants to be. But, she phrases it in a way that hopefully makes the doppleganger feel he can puff that ego.

« Maybe it's something he thinks he's better at. That he could write a novel when Alan couldn't. Or, thought he couldn't. » ] I doubt you know the right words. You were busy making me an example to Alan, not getting to know me.

[ Her eyes narrow. Oh, she very much doesn't believe anything he says. He probably can't stand Polaris and couldn't stand her to really be in whatever he thinks a relationship is. Polaris certainly can't stand the Dark Presence that oozes off him. ]

Really? You expect me to believe you just fell in love with me? What, over time? Between the murder sessions. I don't think you actually care about me. There's someone you want to hurt and I'm the easiest way to do that.

That's not loving someone. Let alone loving me.

OCEANVIEW III

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