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synthneon2023-12-08 03:31 pm
outlierdirector) wrote in synthneon2023-12-08 03:31 pm
oceanview || ❝ made a promise i'm coming out alive. ❞
Through the waves, I break
The nightmares finally over
no subject
Things were falling into place. Maybe the ending wasn't close, but it seemed like the pieces were beginning to line up in the way they needed them to. Maybe it was foolish for them to hope. But maybe this is just a curve in the road. Maybe it's not as bad as it seems.
The Clicker. We can fix this with the Clicker.
Alan's knees dig further into the ground below him and he hunches over more as the pressure in his head intensifies. A laugh echoes inside his mind, a laugh that doesn't belong to him. It strikes fear into Alan, and he knows in this moment that this isn't going to end well. ]
Get- Get Saga out of here. Get the Clicker away, don't let him get it. [ Maybe the him Alan's talking about is lost on some of the people in the room, but hopefully his point gets across anyway. He can't tell if Saga's still there, or if she's been removed from the room, but he hopes that she has. Everyone needs to get out of here. It's not safe.
Jesse touches his arm, and Polaris flares up, reacting to something. But something inside Alan reacts too, and he flinches, not from the pain in his head but from something that doesn't like Polaris. He's never flinched away from Jesse like that before as far as he knows, but something made him do it now.
He feels Jesse's hands on his shoulders and he just wants to lean into her touch, but he can't. It's not safe for her either. A spike of pain shoots through his head and he jerks involuntarily, fingers curling more into his hair. ]
Leave. Jesse, you- you need to leave. It's- You can't.
[ He wants to say more, but he's cut off as the pressure in his head continues to grow. ]
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« Can he sense where Scratch is? I guess it makes sense. Given their connection. How they're connected to the Dark Presence. Alan mentioned that Scratch and the Dark Presence were interchangeable at one point. »
She doesn't react to how he flinches away. Polaris is on high alert and trying to amplify herself to be louder than the other entity encroaching on their space. It's hard, as there's little light, and the few HRAs they do have. Not to mention that her host is weak as well. Still, the seemingly benevolent resonance tries to build--even using that spark of Light that remains inside the Writer. ]
I'm not leaving. [ Her hands curl more. She can't leave him vulnerable to the Dark Presence. There's no telling what could happen if it finally got what it wanted. ] Just focus on Polaris, we'll--
[ Jesse suddenly finds herself shoved back by a force. She can barely catch herself with her own powers. Her hands slam onto the ground to stop the projection of the sudden burst of paranormal energy. She finally comes to a stop at the Control Point, but she's hunched over and trying to catch her breath. Strands of hair fall from the braided ponytail. Jesse can feel her body quake from its own weakness from the assault the night before.
« I can't be down. I can't stop. They need me. Alan, he's... »
Polaris flares again, shining brightly around her host. The youngest Director of the Federal Bureau of Control looks over towards the man she has tried her hardest to save. The suddenly bright green eyes fall on him as he suddenly stands up.
It suddenly feels like her stomach has fallen out. Her eyes widen as she recognizes who is in the room with her now. It's not Alan Wake. A sudden fear seems to grip her that she wishes she couldn't explain. Except, she knows exactly why she is afraid even if nothing in her posture or expression shows it.
The last time shes was in the same room with him...
Pain spikes through the wound from her head. She lowers herself again, eyes shut as the pain itself makes her body tremble. The wound is the same one as before. Except the man in the room gave it to her before. ]
no subject
I just wanted to escape all this and come home to her, but I guess the story has other ideas.
He presses himself just slightly against her hands and a look of regret comes to his eyes even as the pressure intensifies. I'm sorry, Jesse. I'm sorry for what might happen. I can't stop it... It's my fault.
Suddenly, Jesse's shoved backwards, away from him, and he grips his head harder as the pain crests to unbearable levels. But just as suddenly, it's gone and so is Alan. In his place is someone else, someone not Alan Wake. He straightens up, standing up from where he'd crouched on the floor, and his gaze turns immediately to lock onto Jesse's.
A slow smile, not at all like Alan's, begins to work its way across his face. ]
Well, well, if it isn't the famous redhead I've heard so much about. [ Scratch moves closer to her, slowly and one step at a time, and he lowers himself down until he's close to eye level with her. He reaches out with one hand, fingers outstretched, intending to touch her cheek. ]
It's all right, see? I'll take care of you now.
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Her eyes widen slightly as Scratch makes his way to her. Her head is still lowered, hair a mess, body struggling to even pull itself up from laying down on her side. The realization dawns on her.
« Alan wasn't sensing Scratch or the Dark Presence. It was taking control of him--drowning him out. It came over with him when he crossed the Threshold. But, h-how? WE helped him get the Dark Presence out. He was free. Awake. How...what happened after that guy Tim took us away from the room he was stuck in? »
Then, Scratch speaks.
Jesse feels as if cold water has been dumped over her entire body.
"We just don't VIBE together, if you catch my drift. I like it dark, chaotic, a little spunky. You.... you, you're just too damn mellow for me, Miss Director. And, I can't have you killing my vibe like that..."
Her eyes snap to his the moment he kneels down beside her. She can tell it isn't Alan. Gray eyes are shadowed and turned dark like the water of Cauldron Lake. There's an ease and confidence--almost swagger--that seems to ooze from him, where Alan would recoil at the ideas now.
Her panting is still the loudest thing in the room. The sounds from outside have been drowned out. Almost as if Scratch has somehow dominated all other frequencies except Polaris. It's just him and her and the thought alone fills her with dread.
His fingers--Alan's fingers--brush against her cheek. She can feel Polaris wanting to dial to eleven and overpower Scratch. Except, Jesse's too weak and there is nothing else to amplify off of now. The Champion of Light has been buried beneath dark waters.
« Alan... »
Jesse is terrified although it doesn't show.
« He found us again. He caught us. I... I can't slip away this time. He's... I can't MOVE! » ]
You killed me last time. The time before that. [ There is a quiver in her voice, but it doesn't stop the bladed remark from slipping out. ] Not what I'd call caring for someone, Scratch.
You're going to kill me again, right? You'll have to work for it this time.
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[ He smiles again but this time, it's purposefully diminished. Maybe too diminished in a calculated way. ]
I'd like to apologize and ask for another chance. I won't kill you, I promise. I'll show you how good I am at taking care of you.
[ He scoots in a little bit closer and one hand reaches for hers. ]
So, will you forgive me? I know that I made a huge mistake. More than one. But I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
[ His tone even manages to sound genuine, matching the best apologetic look he can put on. ]
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« He's not even after the Clicker. Even though just mentioning it is what set all this off. So, simple. We don't mention it. We buy time for Estevez and Steve to get Casey snd Saga out of danger. We just need to hold out until morning. I think we can do it. It's not like I can really go anywhere right now anyways. »
Polaris shifts. She doesn't like the idea and Jesse can tell. Their options are limited with her being wounded and down. They make do for now.
Her eyes snap down to how he reaches out for her hand. She doesn't trust him one bit. A part of her still reacts just because it's the contact with Alan's body. Her gaze raises to his again as she feels that sense of revulsion come from deep inside. The part that she connected to Polaris with during the Hiss Invasion to become... what she is now.
« Stick with me, okay? Just trust me. Tell Steve where to go and guide him on how to get the others to safety. I'm the Director. Holding off the evil entities is part of my job. »
And given how involved she is with Alan? It's even more her responsibility.
Jesse forces her body to ease more onto the ground in a semi-relaxed state. The hand he touches flexes, but then flattens to the floor. The gesture is open for him to further it if he wants. Scratch has changed, and that much is obvious to see, but not in the way he says. Something chnaged from the earlier loops. Did something with Alan change and that's why? Scratch is his double. So, if one changes, the other one must too.
Right? ]
It's going to take more than that to convince me. [ Her tone is flat, but there is honesty in it too. She can only sell her plan by there being some truth to it. ] You don't just say "Sorry for killing you more than a few times, but I'm different now," and expect me to believe it so candidly.
[ « Let's see just how much he actually "cares." » ]
You could pull a knife out as soon as I turn my back and kill me then. [ Jesse pauses. ] You haven't even told me why you've had the sudden change of heart. You really expect me to believe you just grew a heart overnight? You hate me... and the resonance in me.
I'm not seeing how that adds up. You'll need to point the math out to me.
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[ The pull to claim the Clicker for his own is still there, but Scratch has his sights set on something else: Jesse. Winning her over wasn't ever anything he wanted, but then, he's always wanted to take everything that's Alan's. If Jesse's connected to Alan, then that means Scratch wants to take her for his own. But it can't just be as simple as grabbing her and taking her by force. That's not really satisfying.
What is satisfying is winning her over and getting her to trust him. Whatever happens after that, well.... He can sense Polaris still, and a part of him still doesn't like sensing that resonance, but if Polaris and Jesse are part and parcel, then that's just how that is. Maybe he can win Polaris over too somehow.
He reaches for her hand, but she doesn't pull back as he expected she would. Rather than take her hand in his, he simply brushes his index finger against her hand and continues to smile even when her hand flattens against the floor. ]
Of course, of course. Pretty words aren't going to get me anywhere, are they? It's about finding the right words. Good thing I'm something of a wordsmith. But more importantly, I mean what I'm saying. I just-
[ He looks down and away from her for a second before looking back at her again. ]
I just want the chance to show you. [ He shakes his head and smiles a rueful sort of smile. ] It wasn't overnight, because of course that's impossible. But I don't hate you, or that resonance.
It's less a mathematical equation and more a slow development over time, if you know what I mean.
no subject
[ She may have let some of her walls down in becoming Director. Learning how to trust others around her. Believe what they said. Know that what they say and what they do adds up. It was the only reason she could trust Alan at the start--and the excitement of meeting another parautalitarian. Even then, she kept a reasonable distance, until it was obvious they gravitated too much to one another. Then, if all fell into place.
That's part of why she feels an uncomfortable shiver crawl up her spine as his finger trails down her hand. He has Alan's voice, his body, and can have the same mannerisms (if twisted slightly). He's still not Alan. It doesn't matter what words or actions he says. He'll never be Alan, nor will he replace him. It's obvious to her the difference between the Champion of Light and the Herald of Darkness.
Though, she can see why someone else would hesitate and think they're the same person. Scratch can mimic Alan down to the last second. He also seems to know things only Alan should know.
A wordsmith. It's something she's called Alan in their more private times. The ability of say the right thing at the right time to cause all her walls to fold.
« I really doubt Scratch could do that. »
Her eyebrows raise in a form of disbelief that shows she truly doesn't believe a word he says. Even if he does his best to sound like the man she loves. ]
So, you write one manuscript and you're a wordsmith? It took Alan writing short stories and a TV show to become that. [ Jesse knows it will be seen as something of a strike to the ego. Scratch hates being compared to the person he wants to be. But, she phrases it in a way that hopefully makes the doppleganger feel he can puff that ego.
« Maybe it's something he thinks he's better at. That he could write a novel when Alan couldn't. Or, thought he couldn't. » ] I doubt you know the right words. You were busy making me an example to Alan, not getting to know me.
[ Her eyes narrow. Oh, she very much doesn't believe anything he says. He probably can't stand Polaris and couldn't stand her to really be in whatever he thinks a relationship is. Polaris certainly can't stand the Dark Presence that oozes off him. ]
Really? You expect me to believe you just fell in love with me? What, over time? Between the murder sessions. I don't think you actually care about me. There's someone you want to hurt and I'm the easiest way to do that.
That's not loving someone. Let alone loving me.
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His mind is already off and running with ideas about just how to win her over. A series of ideas parade themselves through his thoughts one after the other, only for him to come back to the present with a jolt when it registers what she's just said. His expression twists into an uglier look then and a look of disgust settles in his eyes. ]
Him? A wordsmith? The wordsmith? [ He shakes his head. ] Absolutely not. He's a second rate author at best, and a used bookstore find at worst. How he ever impressed Alice enough to end up married to her, I have no idea.
[ He knows he's running the risk of further pushing Jesse away with his words, but when it comes to Alan, he can't help it. ]
Why would you settle, when you could have the real deal? I admit I made mistakes, bad ones. I don't want to make an example to him. I want to prove myself to you by showing you a good time.
[ And, well, he does want to hurt Alan, but he's not stupid enough to state that. ]
Jesse, I want- I want to be with you. Can't you see that? [ He even manages to sound genuine, at least in his head. He reaches for her then, intending to touch her cheek. ]
Let me show you how much I care about you.
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His face twists into an uglier expression. That's the look she expected him to wear the entire time. Who Scratch really is.
Her other eyebrow raises as if daring him to prove her wrong. ] Well, he has published six novels, a handful of short stories, and worked on episodes of Night Springs. You've made one manuscript. I'd say you have a lot to prove that you're more of a wordsmith.
[ Still, the idea is to string him along in order to get everyone else time to escape. That means she can't push back as much as she'd like. So, she inhales and calms herself down.
« Tell Steve to get the others out of here. Now! » ]
You should know I don't trust or believe anyone easily. Especially people who just wanted to hurt me. [ She glances down at his hand as he touches her cheek. That same part that is tied to Polaris squirms inside her. ] Maybe I can't see it because you hurt me. Multiple times. Not just here, but in between the revisions.
[ Jesse finally brings her eyes up to his dark murky ones. ] So, go on. How much do you care about me? I mean, really. Because if this is just to hurt Alan and take me away from him? You may as well kill me this time and get it over with.
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But isn't that the point? The general public can't tell the difference between me and him. All I have to do is just take over everything that's his, and no one will know the difference. Of course, you will, but you'll eventually come to see that choosing me is the best choice you could make.
You see, if I have all of his assets, including his money and his possessions, you won't have anything to worry about. And once I get to writing more books, there'll be more money flowing in. It's perfect, isn't it?
[ He's back to smiling, and he offers her a wide, toothy grin. ]
How much do I care about you? [ How much of this is actually truth and the way Scratch feels and how much of it comes from a place of wanting to hurt Alan as much as possible? It's hard to tell. Maybe Scratch himself doesn't even know. ]
I care about you enough to help you with this mess, to see it all end so that you have one less thing you need to deal with. Wait, I know. [ The proverbial lightbulb seems to have gone off. ]
I can fix all of this for everyone if I have the Clicker. The story will finally end and you won't have to worry about this... what did you call it? AWE?
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[ « Time to test how much he really knows me. Which, probably, is not at all. Just conjectures Alan made of me. Probably. »
Her eyes narrow slightly. Yes, how much does he care?
His next statement makes her blood run cold. Thankfully, she can hide it perfectly. Scratch isn't Alan. He hasn't broken through her walls to see the emotions she's feeling.
« Polaris. Please. You have to tell Steve NOW. They need to leave. RIGHT NOW! »
Instead, she scoffs and pulls her hand back. Jesse lowers her head and starts to force herself up. Her body protests, her head beats in agony, and everything in her screams to stop moving. It hurts.
« Everything hurts. Every part. Not just the physical either. It hurts so damn much. »
Outside, Steve feels a familiar brush on his mind. He crosses the few steps over to Estevez and Casey, grabbing Saga by the arm. He tells them to get in the truck the FBC brought and go. They don't have time for questions or to screw around. He'll take the bed of the truck with his weapon and cover them while Saga drives. Estevez is wounded but can provide directions, and Casey can just shut the hell up.
They need to move the Clicker. ]
That doesn't sound anything like proving it to me. [ There's a tremble in her voice from the physical pain, but also, the way her heart sinks. She can channel it. Use it. Make it make her point as if she really is talking to Alan. It'll sell it. Hopefully. ] That sounds like what you really want and trying to convince me it's something else.
[ Jesse raises her head again to stare evenly into his murky eyes. An unidenfitable emotion is there in her own gaze. ]
Aren't you the better Alan? The one who wouldn't make the same screw ups? The one who is oh so perfect? [ She frowns and narrows her eyes slightly. ] Because, all I'm hearing is you're going to run for the thing that really matters most. That isn't me.
[ Her hands curl as she forces herself up on them and her knees. ]
You're going to leave me behind. Here. By myself.
Just like Alan does.
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[ He pauses to think for a moment. ] You want... companionship. Understanding. Right? I can give you that.
[ Never mind that he's never known friendship, because of the obvious, but he wants to try it with her.
He sees her eyes narrow, but he lacks the perception that Alan has, that ability to read her, to be able to intuit what she's thinking or feeling. ]
You know, I think you shouldn't move right now. [ But he doesn't stop her from trying to get up, even though his expression shifts to something that's supposed to be worry. ]
No, that's not it. I can't achieve my goals without the Clicker. I need the Clicker because it's part of the plan. With the Clicker, we can get what we need. What we want. We could be together.
And yes, I am the better Alan. Don't you see that the Clicker is the linchpin in all this? I'm better, and I'm perfect, but I do need a little help from the Clicker first. Once I have it, then I can give you everything you've ever wished for.
[ He moves in a little closer as if intending to offer her his support. ]
I'm not like him. I won't leave you behind. I'm right here, aren't I? And clearly he's just going to disappoint you forever, because he's not me. He's not perfect. You deserve better, Jesse.
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At least, that's how she sees it.
« What if he really does care? What do I do then? What does he do? »
She holds back a remark that Alan could read her in a moment and understand what she really needs. Maybe it's instinctual because he's a writer, or it's a touch of that claravoyence. She can't push Scratch too far. Otherwise he might snap and go after Saga, Steve, and the others.
Outside the truck starts up. Steve rolls the gates back and then pulls himself to the bed of the truck with his rifle. Casey is in the back with him, Estevez and Saga in the passenger and driver seat respectfully. ]
You can really give me that? What makes it so you can and Alan can't?
[ « Other than the obvious that he's possessed Alan. »
A hand raises as if to brush away his "concern." ] Well, thank your Dark Presence for the state I'm in. Though, I'm pretty sure you gave me the exact same head wound once. And, you're one in the same, aren't you?
[ « May as well try to get what information we can out of him. There's what Alan thinks and suspects... then there is going to be what Scratch says is true. »
A huff of air escapes her, though it's ambiguous if it's in reaction to what Scratch says or because of controlled breathing through pain. ]
You want it to make the ending of your manuscript come true. I'm pretty sure I'm not apart of that ending. I never was. [ Jesse frowns and her eyes dart to the side. A part of her feels that way about anything with Alan as well. She wasn't apart of his plans at first. Maybe that's why she can't help change things.
Her gaze drops. ] There's absolutely nothing to guarantee that you'd come back after you have the Clicker. You'll make everything you want come true. Let me guess what those are. Obviously, Alan's life. Wealth, recognition, adoring fans that give you all the gratification you'd ever need. Fame.
And, if your really want everything Alan ever had? That includes one other thing. [ Her gaze levels back to his. ] His wife. Alice. She'd be your wife.
There's no room for me in that.
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Yeah, I can really give you that. Alan likes to think he can give you that, but come on. Who is Alan Wake but a selfish asshole? What exactly has he done for anyone? [ It's clear that as far as Scratch has concerned, none of Alan's actions have redeemed him. Maybe there is no redeeming him in his eyes.
At the questions concerning the Dark Presence and how Scratch is related, something in his eyes darkens, although his eyes were dark to begin with. Nothing else in his expression changes, but Jesse's question clearly hit a little bit too close to home for his liking.
But then a second later, his smile returns as if nothing happened. ]
Who told you that? Let me guess, our favorite writer. [ Scratch makes a "tsk" sound and shakes his head. ] I really think that sometimes, he'd say anything just to turn people off about me. You see, the truth is, he said so many things about me, and with that little ability of his, they came true. But I'm not like that, really.
[ He eyes Jesse, focusing briefly on her head, that sympathetic look coming back to his eyes. ]
I won't kill you or hurt you. Not again. [ He pauses for a moment. ] Would you like to be part of that ending? I can make it happen. And I would come back for you, because I want to be with you, not Alice. There's room for you because I'd make room.
[ He eyes her once again, looking like he wants to kiss her hand, or maybe kiss her mouth. Or both. ]
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The Dark Presence free.
The way his eyes darken just confirms what Alan had said to some degree. Scratch is only there when the Dark Presence is. Now, if he's a separate entity like before, or something more...
She could point out what Alan has done. It'd be a waste of time. Scratch really isn't interested in proving he's better than Alan to that degree at the moment. He's focused on her. Well, them. The potential for them. It makes her skin crawl, but, she has to ensure the safety of her people and the Object of Power.
She's the Director. ]
Yeah. He told me a lot about you. The Dark Presence. You know I've been to the Dark Place and sent messages through it. You've caught me. [ « How many times before the loop begins again and I'm here in Bright Falls? » ] Alright. If he's lied about you, then, whats the truth? I might as well know as the Director of the Federal Bureau of Control.
[ A sinking feeling strikes her then. If Scratch wins? She may never be the Director again. Why would he ever let her be a weapon against him?
She watches his gaze move from her injury, to her hand, to her lips. There are little things about how he moves that seem like Alan and not to imitate him. Little movements. Where he looks. There might be some sliver of empathy in Scratch that he pulls from Alan. Maybe.
« Just how tied together are they? » ]
How could you not want to be with Alice? She's his wife. Don't you want everything he has? [ The question is accusatory, but also one of general confusion. It's not lining up. Something is different. ] You're telling me you would honestly pick me over his wife?
[ Outside, the truck turns over finally. The lights come on. The FBI and FBC agents pull put of the parking lot. ]
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There's a part of him that wants her because she chose Alan, and he wants to take everything from Alan. But as easy as taking her might be, it would feel like a cheap victory, which is why he's so focused on winning her over himself, whatever it takes. ]
You've been to the Dark Place? [ He shakes his head. ] Just when I thought that my opinion of Alan Wake couldn't sink any lower. He's supposed to be protecting you, taking care of you, and he let you go to the Dark Place? What a shame.
[ Maybe he's being vague on purpose about just how much he knows. Or maybe he actually doesn't know. But he's not tipping his hand either way, or so he thinks. ]
The truth? You really want to know?
[ He eyes her, staring her down, but that dark look in his gaze has disappeared now. ]
I can't remember the last time anyone asked me for the truth. The truth about me, that is.
[ But he finds himself distracted by her next statements about Alice, and he looks at her again with his eyes wide. ]
So you're saying you actually don't know? Alice is... She's beyond everyone's reach now, even his.
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Protecting me from a story you wrote. [ A hand raises and makes a sweeping gesture as if it explain the whole situation. Scratch has created the whole mess. Blaming Alan for making it worse is hardly a good notch in her book. ] Don't treat me like I'm an idiot.
[ « It'll just make sure I don't end up on his side. »
Jesse holds her ground as he stares back at her. Her hands curl slightly and her weight shifts backwards. She sits against the counter of the lobby, but never breaks their gaze. Her red hair is a mess, wound obvious on the side of her head, and just generally looks as if she's been through the ringer more than once.
« We take a page out of Alan's book. He thought about making the Dark Presence think he had given up, right? We do something similar. Make Scratch think we're leaning... »
Her inner communication with Polaris comes to a halt the moment he reacts the way about Alice Wake. Her eyebrows knit together. Clearly, she doesn't know. Did she know at one point and the story take her memories away? No, it wouldn't be that. Could it?
« Did the Bureau know? Investigations closed down because of Hartman. The case for the Wakes must have gone cold... » ]
"Beyond reach"? What's that supposed to mean?
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Oh, I know you're not an idiot. [ The emphasis he places on that word is meant to imply that someone else is, and she should be able to determine just who that "someone else" is. ] You're smart and resourceful and miles better at figuring things out than our Mr. Wake.
That story is one of my many mistakes, you see. But you probably don't know why I wrote it, not that you want to know, I'm sure.
[ It's obvious enough to him that she's firmly on Alan's side of things, but that doesn't mean he's about to stop trying. And it's also obvious to him that she has no idea what he means about Alice. Of course, it makes sense that she wouldn't know, and he figures Alan's just too weak to tell her about it. Or maybe he doesn't know himself. It boils down to the same thing, really. ]
Well, simply put, she's dead. Gone. [ He shakes his head in sympathy. Feigned sympathy, some might say, but he wouldn't.
... Or would he? ]
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A monster that thinks he loves her. He can't really love her. She doubts he's capable of it.
« What if he does love me? What do I do then? He's not Alan, that much is obvious. But, if he does love me, then this is more of my mess to clean up than Alan would ever admit. » ]
I have the benefit of understanding more about these things than Alan does. It's my job. [ Jesse doesn't mention how she went hunting for it for years. Trying to find conspiracies or the usual side of life. ] I figure you wrote it to get out of the Dark Place. Permanently. Taking over Alan's life.
Why else would you write it?
[ Then, everything comes to a halt when he reveals what he knows about Alice Wake.
Dead?
« Does Alan know? He has to know. Doesn't he? He still wears his wedding ring to her. He still wants to get back home to see her. But... if he knows, then that's why he always dodges the topic whenever I've brought it up. Why he doesn't seem to be bothered by the fact that we're... well, it's cheating. Isn't it? »
Polaris shimmers.
Jesse glances to the side with her eyes slightly wide.
« He forgot? Or did he forget that he knows? Is there a difference?
Why weren't there notations in the case notes about it? Did Alan erase the notes in the documents in the story? I don't think he would. But, if he ended up writing out of grief... »
Her lips press together in a thin line.
The feigned look of sympathy never even catches her notice. Jesse instead raises her eyes and moves her gaze back to Scratch. She has to pretend to be moving to his side. It's the only way to keep him from the Clicker. The only reason he'd stay. ]
So, I'm next on the list. Because she's... dead. Not because you love me or anything like that. Simply because Alan cares and neither of you can have Alice Wake?
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It's your job, but you're also smart. You learn quickly, unlike him. [ Scratch shrugs. ] Well, you're not wrong. I want his life because I deserve it more, and I don't have a problem admitting that.
[ He watches her reactions carefully when he lets loose the bombshell that Alice is dead. Clearly she didn't know. He opens his mouth to say something, but suddenly, inexplicably, no words come out.
Ö́̃͝h̍͂͠,̾̃͠ i̿̄͠t͆̾͞'̅̉͡s̛̄ not your turn ye̐t̔͋͞, and if I͊̿ ĥ̑͡a͗͆̕ve ã̽͠nything t͆̾̕o̓ sãy̒̀͡ â̛̑b͛͠out it, it̍̋'̿̉̕l̕l ñevë́̍͞r b͝e your turn҇̇̍ a̓̃̕g҇̓̌a͊̄͞in.
The words are said in Scratch's mind, said to the writer that he's trying to drown out.
You can't keep me pushed down like this! I'll- I'll fight you...
Alan's reply is muted, faint, as if he's trying to yell at Scratch from 50 feet under water. But he's not finished just yet, even though the effort of trying to speak looks like it's taking a heavy toll on him.
It's because of you and the Dark Presence that I wasn't there for Alice. Alice... Jesse... I need- I need to get back to her! Polaris, are you there?
If Jesse's watching, she might notice a look on Scratch's face that isn't fitting with the conversation they've been having. It's a look of desperation, and it doesn't belong on Scratch's face. For just a second, it's not Scratch looking back at her, it's someone else entirely.
O̓͋̕h̛̽̂,҇̓͐ you'̽re n͐̊̕ò͊̕t͑͑͠ g̒̕oing to b̿͊̕r͂̊͞e̊͠ak ť̛̏h҇ro͝ugh tŏ̓ t̛̑he҇̉͒m̽̒͡ t̋́͞h̐͠at easily.́̉ Ï̑͡ d̔̆̕o̍͐͡u͞bt̃̽͠ t͆͌͞h͋͠ey can eve͋͐n͊̋͝ h̛̐̇e̐́͞a̐͞r you. Wh̊y̛͌̒ d̀͐͡on't y͂͌͞o͡u just gī̅͞v̍̆̕e҇̾̀ ǘ̒͝p҇͋̀ an̒d let Mr͂.͞ Sc҇̔̌r͛̄͝ä́͊͝t̊̍̕c̛̀͗h̍̒͝ take the re͒͡in̛̾̓s͊̃͡?̄̂̕ Y͗͠ou said y҇̒̅ō̓̕u̕ wan͌ted҇̔̐ to sle͌̈e͆̕p. W̆͌h̽͆͞y̑̐͡ d͑́͝o͞n't you j͒͑u̒͒̕s̾̀͞t͌̃͠ g͗͞o t̉̈̕o̍͆̕ s͡leep now? I͑l͒̃̕l͌̽̕ h̍͗͞a̛͗ndle eve̅͑͞r̆̕ything͊̚͞ f̈̅͝rom her̄e̓̽͠.̛̀̊
Damn it, I won't let you do this! You can't take Jesse from me too. Jesse... JESSE, you can't listen to him!
Alan doesn't expect Jesse to be able to hear him, but he's hoping against hope that somehow, his words break through. Maybe Polaris can still hear him and tell Jesse what he's desperately trying to say. It's a long shot, but it's the only thing Alan has right now.
The only problem is, Scratch has him pushed down so far that trying to come back to the surface feels like an insurmountable task. I have to do this. I can't- He'll kill them all. If they're dead, then all of this was for nothing. I won't- I can't continue without her.
Without a reason to fight, Alan won't want to continue trying. ]
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By Scratch.
She can't restore her own powers while Scratch is there. Not without a more powerful source of light, and she feels he would absolutely refuse the opportunity to let Polaris' resonance restore to any degree. As much as Scratch says he doesn't mind her? Jesse can't fathom the thing that wants to be Alan Wake even tolerating a resonance that interacts so negatively to its own. ]
What makes you deserve it more? You didn't write the books that made him famous. [ A tired hand raises and makes a gesture of a circling motion. ] I'm not following it. You can want it and think you fit it better, but deserve? What did you do to deserve any of it?
[ Jesse stares Scratch down evenly through the strands that have fallen into her face. Her chest continues to rise and fall heavily despite the intense stare. She feels that her statement is right. Scratch can't have Alice now--neither can Alan--so she is the next person on the list to take from Alan.
« What would Alice Wake have died from? It couldn't be exposure to anything in the Oldest House... and she hadn't been to Cauldron Lake in years. Nothing should of been affecting her from that. So, what was... »
Her thoughts trail off the moment she feels Polaris tug at her mind. Interrupting her. Jesse's gaze focuses back on Scratch to see a different expression on her face. The darkness in the eyes has pulled back, revealing a gaze she knows all too well. Her heart catches in her throat.
« It's Alan. He can't mimic that look. Wait... what? Polaris? »
Polaris tugs at her mind again. Jesse feels as if she's being pulled under water. She knows instantly what her friend is trying to do. Alan is trying to break free and Polaris is bridging communication in her own way. Feelings, less words, coming in from that unique connection. Trying to fight above the waves but being pressed down back under the surface. How the dark waters can be enticing. Jesse knows that already. She knows Scratch tells the truth to a degree but then twists it like any good liar does.
The only thing that weighs down the message at all is the fact Jesse can tell Alan has only been able to push back as far as he can because Alice was pulled back into the conversation.
It makes sense. Alice was always Alan's motivation. His reason for going into the Lake to start with. The reason he's trapped in the Dark Place. His wife, the one he married, and the one who can capture the world in a frame. Jesse isn't an artist and she never will be. There's a part of Alan that Alice had that she can never even begin to touch, let alone truly see or understand.
Jesse knows Alan loves her. She doesn't doubt it for a moment.
She just wishes she could be half of what Alice Wake was for him.
Her expression doesn't change. Simply because Scratch will try to come back and she can't show any weakness.
« At least we know Alan is still there. »
Her head tilts down as she moves to try and push herself up to stand. ]
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All he knows is that Alice isn't his only driving force. She was in the beginning, the person who motivated him to keep moving forward. But now... now he draws motivation and strength from another person too: Jesse Faden, the director who was made for this. Made for being Director, but also made for so much more. She may not be an artist, but she's the one who's made Alan feel safe and loved but also strong enough to try and fight for himself and for her when he needs to. Alice was his world, but his world has grown bigger now. Jesse's part of that world, and even though maybe Alice passed the proverbial torch to Jesse, he'll always need both of them to keep him going.
Alan's hands reach out despite Scratch's disapproval and dislike.
She shouldn't move. I know it's bad, and Scratch could hurt her if the switch flips. It might flip now because of me. But she needs to rest at least a little bit. When- when I'm gone again, she might have to run. She'll need to have the strength to do that.
Instead of asking for help like he initially thought he would, his only concern is for Jesse and her safety.
It's because of me that she's in this position. I have to do something before Scratch takes over again. Jesse, can you- Dammit, I don't know what she should do in this situation. I can hardly think over the sound of the waves. All I know is, Scratch can't be in control forever. He can't have the Clicker. He can't have my life. Polaris, if you can hear me, you have to keep Jesse safe. I can't help right now, even though I want to.
His gaze turns downwards and he sees what looks like water splashing up against his legs. He's going to be pulled down again and the connection with Polaris will be severed.
I don't know how to end this, how to get rid of Scratch.
Alan's expression, controlled by Scratch, changes then; it changes into something uglier, something almost mocking.
T́͐̐̿͠s̛̏̒k͐͌̈́̕ t̛̆͒͐s͐̓̈́̇̕̚k̐͗̓̒͡,̇̋̚͞ w҇̾̾h̃̿̍͆̓̕a̛̐͌͌́̄t̎̃͊̑̌͠ ã͂͒͂̄͠ s͋̈́͐̓̕i̓̚͠ĺ̛̐́͗̈́l̛̀̓̏̈́y̔̅̽̕ ẅ́́̄͝r̒͒͞i͌̌̏̋̽̕t҇̆̒̒̌̈é̍͝r̛̍͂̈́͆̚.̀͊̄̈́̕ Y̛̎̽̀̌ơ͗̉͗̊͂ư͆͊'̉̈́̀̉͠l̊̀̄̊̕l̓͋́͡ ṅ̈̎̕ẻ̛̽͛̃v҇̔́è̐̆͡r͛̃͝ b̾͑̿̐͝e͋̍̈́͝ r͋̑̀̂́͡i͊̔̍̉̕d̉͌͡ o̍̎͝f̛̃̀̓ m̄͋̌͞e҇̀̔̀̓,̛̂̓̓ b̄̔̅͗͡ư͌̊̄t͑́̔̈͋͝ ó̏͠n҇̾̀͛̋ȇ̈́̂͡ d̍̀̄̋͡a͑̃̎̉͠y҇͐͐͗,͊̓̒͆͡ w̋̏̑̆̄͡e҇̀͂'҇̋̎̆l̛̍̐̿̽̊l̿͌͝ a̾̅͞l͗͊̊͡l̈́̆͡ b̄̿̓̾̚͝e̛͗̅ r͋̂̄̎̏͞i̋̾̉̀͝d́̔̄̍̐͝ ō̽̕f͐́͐͞ Y͗̅͒͆̈͠Õ̿̇̄͡U͑̑̕.͐̑̎͝ ]
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Polaris gently tugs at Alan's mind. A frequency trying to resonate with the light within the writer, nearly smothered by the dark waters. She tries to communicate the feeling of understanding and love. The two things that Jesse would say herself if the situation allowed her to do it. She knows what is at stake and what can't happen. That's why the situation is being played like it is. Keeping Scratch here rather than out after the Clicker for as long as she can.
Eyes narrow slightly at the sign of Scratch resurfacing. The two are fighting for control. She takes the small half step back to the counter in order to be more in the light and hopefully regain something by the time she's addressed again. Not much distance is put between them so she hopes Alan doesn't take that the wrong way and give up. ]
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But the problem is, Scratch knows what thoughts are going through his head and he just smirks at Alan; the expression he wears is an ugly one reflecting the ugliness that Scratch contains and seems most inclined to direct at Alan.
Y̷o̷u̷'̷v̷e̷ ̷a̷l̷r̷e̷a̷d̷y̷ ̷l̷o̷s̷t̷.̷ ̷J̷u̷s̷t̷ ̷g̷i̷v̷e̷ ̷u̷p̷,̷ ̷A̷l̷a̷n̷.̷ ̷J̷u̷s̷t̷ ̷g̷o̷ ̷t̷o̷ ̷s̷l̷e̷e̷p̷.̷ ̷L̷e̷a̷v̷e̷ ̷e̷v̷e̷r̷y̷t̷h̷i̷n̷g̷ ̷t̷o̷ ̷J̷e̷s̷s̷e̷ ̷a̷n̷d̷ ̷I̷ ̷n̷o̷w̷.̷
No, I can't let you win! You can't- I won't let you...!
Alan has just enough will left to try desperately to counter Scratch's dire words, but he can feel his hold slipping. If he slips far enough, that'll be it, and he doubts Scratch will let him claw his way back to the surface again. Damn it, I don't want this to be the end... But what more can I do? I- I can't...
Scratch's smile widens as he senses the dark water beginning to drown the writer out. It won't be long now until it's only him at the wheel. Soon, he'll have Jesse and the Clicker and the two of them can turn reality into whatever it is that they want.
While Scratch is relishing in the victories that he's certain will soon be his, Alan is desperately trying to keep his eyes on Jesse. He sees her take a step back, but he doesn't take it as anything but her doing her best to stay in the light. The light is an ally, a beneficial force in the darkness, but is it enough? It has to be enough.
Maybe the thing to do is simply stepping back and letting Scratch take the reins so that when the time is right, Jesse can put him down or at least slow him down.
L̷e̷t̷t̷i̷n̷g̷ ̷m̷e̷ ̷t̷a̷k̷e̷ ̷t̷h̷e̷ ̷r̷e̷i̷n̷s̷?̷ ̷T̷h̷e̷r̷e̷'̷s̷ ̷n̷o̷ ̷"̷l̷e̷t̷"̷ ̷h̷e̷r̷e̷,̷ ̷A̷l̷a̷n̷.̷ ̷I̷'̷m̷ ̷g̷o̷i̷n̷g̷ ̷t̷o̷ ̷t̷a̷k̷e̷ ̷o̷v̷e̷r̷,̷ ̷a̷n̷d̷ ̷y̷o̷u̷ ̷c̷a̷n̷'̷t̷ ̷d̷o̷ ̷a̷n̷y̷t̷h̷i̷n̷g̷ ̷t̷o̷ ̷s̷t̷o̷p̷ ̷m̷e̷.̷ ̷I̷'̷m̷ ̷t̷h̷e̷ ̷s̷t̷r̷o̷n̷g̷ ̷o̷n̷e̷ ̷h̷e̷r̷e̷,̷ ̷r̷e̷m̷e̷m̷b̷e̷r̷?̷ ̷
Scratch has decided that enough's enough, and his customary wide grin spreads across his face again as he finally just tunes Alan out. He won't be staying afloat for long anyway, so what's the point in wasting time on him? ]
Apologies for that little disruption; I had a pest problem to take care of, but now it's just you and me again, Jesse, just as it should be.
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