moonsblessed: (001.)
ᑭᕼYᗩ TᗩYᑌᑌᑎ ([personal profile] moonsblessed) wrote in [community profile] synthneon2024-11-25 02:03 am
thewayforpeace: (💠179)

[personal profile] thewayforpeace 2024-11-27 08:11 am (UTC)(link)
[ Aymeric knows very little of what is transpiring outside of the walls of his home, and that is by choice. At first, what remained of his household staff tried to get him to show interest in the goings on in Ishgard by bringing with them stories of things happening around them, but Aymeric continued to show little or not interest in any of it.

For the most part, they chalked that off to the rather dire state that he was in, because he was hardly in good condition at all, and yet he refused their efforts to convince him to be seen by a healer. Of course, they knew the reasons behind his continued refusals, and yet they could not help but worry at the way he seemed to deteriorate almost before their eyes.

Somehow, however, he managed to stand up and move about as the mood took him, and they barely understood how that was possible. The house steward posited that his sudden change gave him a greater endurance than he might have had before, but that said endurance was hardly permanent.

No, it seemed as though Aymeric's health waxed and waned, but he still refused to be looked at by anyone, healer or otherwise. Most of his days were spent alone in his private quarters, and that was how he preferred it.

He did not wish to see or speak to anyone, although there was one notable figure who decidedly ignored Aymeric's wishes, repeatedly breaking through the walls he attempted to set up in his own attempt to get the man to do something.

But Aymeric would not do something. He had no interest in doing much of anything, even without the injuries he'd managed to sustain from a particularly determined dragon. Perhaps a part of him was resigned to letting himself simply pass on because of the wounds he'd received. A dragon's bite was no insignificant thing, after all, and Aymeric had sustained more than one. Still, it was the largest of them that gave him the most trouble. The combination of the smaller wounds and the more dire one worked together to render him unable to move at some points, and only what remained of his once rock solid willpower was enough to see him leave his bed from time to time.

So, at the present, Aymeric remains unaware of anything that his old friend Estinien may or may not be doing. As far as he is concerned, the outcomes of all of Estinien's visits will always be the same. He will not see a healer, and he will not be coaxed out of his gloomy state of mind and heart.

Today, Aymeric is slightly more lucid than other days, and this particular day sees him pacing a very clearly marked circle in his chambers. He feels ill at ease for reasons he doesn't bother to look into, as there is no point in looking into much of anything. On occasion, he hears bits of conversation, and exchanges between the household staff. He thinks that he hears another voice, a voice that he unfortunately knows quite well: Estinien, returned with yet another healer from what Aymeric is able to decipher.

That outcome will not change either. He has had enough of healers. He will not consent to being seen by one, not now and not ever.

Although much of the conversation being held is one that Aymeric cannot hear, he does make out one particular line:

Who would have believed the Lord Commander to brood more than the infamous Azure Dragoon?

Frustration and anger sparks to life inside him, and in a fit of something bordering on rage, he grabs the nearest object (a wooden bucket) and hurls it away from him.

The sudden act throws him off balance, as he is more unsteady than he would care to admit, and he has to throw out a hand to brace himself against the closest wall.

... Perhaps venting his anger was not the best idea nor the brightest. ]
dragonssung: <lj user="alreadylost">. (pic#15468790)

[personal profile] dragonssung 2024-11-28 07:29 am (UTC)(link)
[ Estinien follow suite behind Phya and the steward. While it is clear the young Miqo'te and the middle aged steward are worried of the health of the man behind the door? Estinien himself has no such worry. No, his mind is far more on the capabilities of the man. He knows his brother to be better than he has begun to act. They have known each other for nearly one century now. Just as Estinien would hope that Aymeric holds him to a standard? He holds his brother to the same.

The Azure Dragoon pushes past the two and steps into the room himself. He closes the door behind them. As far as he is concerned? This is a matter--for the moment--between the two of them. His steel colored eyes land on the struggling Lord Commander with a look of annoyance, and truthfully, disappointment. He knows Aymeric can be a far better man than he is acting at the moment. ]


You've caused quite the scene, Lord Commander. [ Estinien crosses his arms with a faint hint of amusement and yet annoyance in his voice. ] Pull yourself together. The Temple Knights, especially Ser Haurchefant, would be amiss to see you in such a state.

[ A hand raises and gestures to the door. ] I've brought a healer for you. One who understands your particular "condition." At the very least she could get you on your feet to be more presentable.

Did you hear? The Warrior of Light of the Eorzean Alliance has arrived in Ishgard.
thewayforpeace: (💠177)

[personal profile] thewayforpeace 2024-11-28 09:10 am (UTC)(link)
[ As far as Aymeric knows, his outburst and hurling of the wooden bucket have gone unobserved. After all, these are his private quarters, and the last thing he is expecting is someone letting themselves in uninvited.

But as the doors open and Estinien steps inside the room, Aymeric instantly realizes that he is no longer alone in his self-imposed solitude. He stiffens and straightens up, and a sharp glare falls into place on his face. Of course, it is too late to pretend that he did not lose control of himself and give in to his anger and frustrations, but he does his best to maintain the pretense regardless. ]


I do not recall giving you, or anyone else, leave to enter. [ Aymeric has straightened up, but he deliberately keeps his gaze averted from his old friend's. ] As for the Temple Knights, you have no reason to be concerned that they will see anything they should not. [ There is a reason he has cloistered himself in this room, rarely venturing out, if he does at all.

Aymeric's expression darkens further at the mention of the healer that Estinien has brought along. ]


You know my opinion on that. I have no use for healers, and I do not consent to being seen by one, no matter how much they may claim to understand... No, I will not be seen.

[ His gaze briefly shifts at the announcement of the arrival of the Warrior of Light, but only the barest hint of a spark at the news shows in his eyes. ]

I suppose you will keep me apprised of events following the Warrior's arrival. When you are able, of course.

[ Aymeric feels his wounds protest because he has remained standing for too long, but he has no interest in letting Estinien see the effect they have on him. He crosses his arms in front of him and does his best to remain upright. ]
dragonssung: <lj user="alreadylost">. (pic#15396561)

[personal profile] dragonssung 2024-11-28 09:55 am (UTC)(link)
I do not recall family needing leave to enter. [ They are, in his mind, the same as blood brothers. Afflicted by different things, yet doomed to long lives it seems. ] Perhaps they would if the Lord Commander had dared to venture from his private rooms since his return from the Sultana's banquet in Ul'dah.

[ Estinien thinks upon events for a moment. The wound that has caused their moody Lord Commander to hole himself up must have happened in the Dravanian attack after the banquet. He was on his own missions at the time, but even word reached him of how the Lord Commander of the Temple Knights had since bundled himself up within his manor. A strange turn of events, as many thought that perhaps Eorzea's Warrior of Light had begun to melt his rather icy exterior. ]

Do not be a fool, Aymeric. We are both aware that as the leader of the Temple Knights, you will need to meet with the Warrior of Light at some point or another. Even more so given that he and his... entourage have been given a place to stay within House Foretemps. One of the few Houses you remain on good standings with. Politics and I do not mingle, and yet even the Dragoons are aware of that much.

[ He glances over Aymeric once more. ] If you will not be seen, then, do you intend to eat to regain your strength? What if the Archbishop calls upon the Lord Commander?
thewayforpeace: (💠184)

[personal profile] thewayforpeace 2024-11-28 05:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Ordinarily, perhaps not. [ He can concede that much; however, the situation at hand is far from an ordinary one, and Aymeric would rather sequester himself away from people as much as possible. And Estinien's arrival is, at the present, not entirely welcome. ] Perhaps the Lord Commander does not dare venture from his private rooms again, for reasons that are his own.

[ He is uncomfortably aware that Estinien will most likely find the holes in his logic, but logic is not at the forefront of his thoughts at the moment. ]

Will I? Perhaps. But perhaps I have no intention of continuing to remain Lord Commander, and perhaps that would be best for the Temple Knights and for the people of Ishgard as a whole. I am not surprised to learn that House Fortemps has taken in the Warrior of Light and his entourage, but the question remains: will I remain on good standing with them now?

[ The look on his face suggests he does not believe that to be the case. ]

As for the Archbishop: surely he would rather see another take on the mantle of Lord Commander. [ He knows he just sidestepped Estinien's first question, but his lack of a response is an answer in its own way. ]
thewayforpeace: (💠176)

[personal profile] thewayforpeace 2024-11-28 09:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Do I not have the right to be- No. [ He shakes his head. This is a topic he does not wish to discuss, and he will not discuss it, not even with Estinien. ]

Is that all you came here to say?

[ He turns slightly and eyes the disheveled bed in the room, contemplating returning to it and turning his back to the dragoon. He feels an undercurrent of regret, wondering if the friendship he has with Estinien will end because of this. He does consider the man his brother, and yet what has happened to him has changed him in more ways than one.

His outlook on life and on his relationships and duties and everything in between has been altered, perhaps forever. At the present, he can hardly see past the monster he feels he has become. Who is Aymeric de Borel anymore? Certainly not the man he once was. How can he continue being the Lord Commander, the one people look to for leadership of their defenses?

As far as he can tell, he can no longer be that man. ]


What good will it do? [ He shakes his head, but he feels as though he may as well acquiesce on this one thing, if only so that Estinien will stop badgering him about it. ] I suppose this healer you've found can't do any more harm.

Do they really know what they are getting into?
thewayforpeace: (💠182)

[personal profile] thewayforpeace 2024-11-29 08:36 am (UTC)(link)
Are you still unwilling to admit that I am not the man I was? [ Aymeric believes that to be true, and yet he still puts forward the question, wanting to hear it from Estinien in his own words. ]

I am of the opinion that perhaps Ishgard is better off with another at the helm. With that in mind, what is the use of doctors or healers? But I can also recognize that you are unwilling to be swayed in either direction.

[ That hardly makes him happy, but what can he do? When Estinien opens the door once more and beckons someone (the healer, he presumes) inside, at first, Aymeric does not even look at her. He has refused healing this long, and he is hardly warmed up to the idea.

What he sees in his peripheral vision is enough to cause something to stir inside Aymeric; it is a sensation he has not felt in many years, and he imagined he would not feel it again. A part of him wondered if he was incapable of feeling it now. But there is a nudge, and a pulling sensation, something telling him that he needs to get closer to the woman who just entered his private chambers.

Why? She isn't... she can't be. She has been gone for quite some time, and if she even returned...

The sensation grows stronger, and he feels the strong pull urging him to step closer to her. To take her hands. Look her in the eyes.

Instead... He does the opposite, mostly unwillingly, as he would never choose to cause such a scene in front of observers. The nudging and the pulling sensations very nearly cause his head to swim, perhaps because he resists them. But perhaps his sudden unsteadiness is due to a bit of shock or surprise that he has yet to fully identify the reasons for. It has something to do with the small woman in the room, but what?

Unfortunately, he has no time to think on that further as he staggers suddenly on unsteady legs, and before he can try to pull himself together, he ends up on his knees on the hard floor beneath them.

... So much for maintaining appearances. ]
thewayforpeace: (💠179)

[personal profile] thewayforpeace 2024-11-30 10:21 am (UTC)(link)
[ Aymeric can feel his senses trying to flee from him, intending to go the same way as his legs, which refused to hold him up any longer, but even as Estinien lifts him and pulls him over to the bed, he tries to resist. He's past the point of saving face, but this is the last thing he ever wanted to happen. He did not want an audience, but it is too late for that now.

He dimly registers Phya moving from out of the corner of his eye, but his focus remains on trying to keep hold of his senses. It's a losing fight, or so it seems, but he's still trying his best to not pass out entirely. It's bad enough that Estinien- that his friend and brother has to move him like this.

He might be reduced to hiding in his private chambers and refusing to see anyone, but he still retains the smallest semblance of pride. It's just hard to see it in the way he behaves now.

Estinien places him on the bed, and Aymeric feels something inside himself recoiling in something like embarrassment. Perhaps it is strange that this would cause him embarrassment and not his equally embarrassing display from just moments ago. He does not need to be told that he behaves shamefully, because he knows that he does already. That is just one of many reasons why he wishes to withdraw from being seen as much as possible.

From his position on the bed, he hears the quiet request from the healer Estinien brought to see him, and at first, he does not respond. He wants to turn his back to both of them, to wall himself off once more, but he knows that doing so would do no good at all. He has no energy at the moment for another prolonged argument with Estinien, and so, while he does try to turn himself away from both of them (not quite managing it due to his present weakness), he replies in a quiet, low tone, hating the hesitant, halting way the words come out. ]


If you insist. I won't prevent you from looking, if that is what you wish.

[ He knows what she'll see when she looks: the roadmap of lacerations and scratches of varying sizes, and the bite that caused all this in the center of it all, angry and inflamed because he let it go uncared for. Part of him recoils inwardly at the thought of being bared for her to see, but it seems as though this is one matter that he won't be allowed to continue pushing to the side.

And now matter how much he might wish to be left alone, he knows better than to think that Estinien cares much about his wishes, at least as far as this current matter is concerned. ]
Edited 2024-11-30 18:55 (UTC)

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thewayforpeace: (💠179)

[personal profile] thewayforpeace 2025-02-22 09:38 am (UTC)(link)
[ When she begins to touch his hand and his wrist, he lets out a low sigh and he settles slightly into the bed. His eyes remain open and looking at her, as if a part of him is still attempting to resist her efforts to ease him into sleep. He does not wish to sleep, as he fears that he will awaken to find that none of this was real. He does not wish to awaken only to learn that she was never here, that he dreamed all of this from a place of longing and loneliness.

To have to confront that realization is more than he thinks he can handle. So, to that end, he tries to fight off the exhaustion that is trying to pull him down. But in the end, the exhaustion is greater than his ability to resist it, and slowly and reluctantly, his eyelids finally close and he relaxes fully against the bed.

Still, his sleep is light, lighter than one might suppose. He is resting, but some part of his mind is aware of things going on around him. Footsteps register in his mind even as he sleeps, but even he can't quite always follow who they belong to.

It isn't until she squeezes his arm and says his name that he begins to stir again. A handful of moments pass before he finally shifts on the bed and his eyes open once more. ]


Lantaa. You're still here. [ You didn't leave.

He hopes that she can tell that his tone is a grateful one, grateful that she did not leave him as he feared she would. Perhaps he can begin to accept that she is real and not a figure conjured up in dreams. ]
thewayforpeace: (💠184)

[personal profile] thewayforpeace 2025-03-08 11:25 pm (UTC)(link)
[ If he could hear her thoughts, he would say that he is hardly the stronger one here. Perhaps he merely buried his true feelings and pushed them aside, doing his best to pretend that they did not exist. That is hardly dealing with his upset or addressing it properly; simply pretending something is not an issue does not make it less of one. It certainly does nothing to address his own emotions concerning the matter. In fact, it could be considered simply dodging something uncomfortable and refusing to deal with it.

Perhaps in that way, Phya is more in tune with herself and her feelings than Aymeric is. ]


Have you eaten yet? Your needs should be seen to as well, if not seen to first.

[ He is confident that he can go awhile without eating; Phya, on the other hand, deserves to have her needs met first and completely, as it appears she has gone without for too long. ]
thewayforpeace: (💠177)

[personal profile] thewayforpeace 2025-03-16 05:28 am (UTC)(link)
[ Perhaps the difference between them is that he decided he had to push away the swirling feelings he had of loss and despair and missing the one person- the one soul that he has always wanted to be with, in order to continue going on. But has he truly gone on with his life, functioning as someone going through the day to day on this star? Looking at how he has spent his time over these last years, he can hardly say that he has.

Perhaps he is the one who became lost in his misery, withdrawing from the world and from the people in it, disconnecting himself from life and living. Perhaps she is truly the stronger one of the two of them, as she has been out there in the world, not cutting herself off from it as he so thoroughly has. ]


How long has it been since you last ate? And how long has it been since you felt warm and safe? [ He can only guess at what her days have been like, but a part of him is certain that she has not always had something hot to eat or somewhere safe to lie down and sleep for the night. ] But if that is what you wish to do... The time to talk with you would be welcome. But then- it would not be rude of you to eat. I would not think it so.

[ Still, it seems as though she has already made preparations, he decides to not protest further. As for her question, he tries to make an attempt at sitting up without aid, and the effort he makes is the best one he can manage, but in the end, he decides he will have to accept her assistance for a little while longer. ]

If it is not too much trouble... and you have gone through enough trouble already on my account. [ If she declines, he will continue as best as he can. ]
thewayforpeace: (💠180)

[personal profile] thewayforpeace 2025-03-17 08:07 am (UTC)(link)
You will need to eat again. [ It's not a command, simply an observation, and then Aymeric's expression darkens slightly at her next words. ] Yes, in your situation. But the situation should not be that way, and there must be something that I can do to address it, even if all I can do is put in a petition with the Holy See.

[ Perhaps it is a futile endeavor, but Aymeric knows he has spent too long doing nothing and letting the world pass him by. He needs to put an end to that now.

Or at least as soon as he is able, with his recovery.

He tries to make the process of sitting up less difficult for them both, and he does his best to not lean against her too much, lest he inadvertently hurt her. But once he is seated and the cup is extended to him, there is barely any hesitation before he reaches for it. He does not drink it too quickly or too greedily, as he feels such things are unbecoming even for him, but there is no ignoring the fact that he is hungry, perhaps hungrier than even he realized.

This hunger is not just a need for replenishing his supply; the taste of the blood she offers adds to that hunger, that need to drink. ]


Not always, I hope. I hope that you will allow me to see you fed first. And as for the rest- well, I can do without it, but if you insist.. I imagine I would be easier for you to be around if I am clean.

[ As clean as one such as him can be, at any rate. ]
thewayforpeace: (💠184)

[personal profile] thewayforpeace 2025-03-18 05:21 am (UTC)(link)
[ Aymeric's expression shifts then and his jaw tightens as some measure of dislike, perhaps even annoyance, takes hold of him. He is not in a position of great influence nor power, but he does not like the idea of settlements being left to their own devices. There is more they could be doing, but from what he knows from various reports, not very much is being done at all. ]

I am hardly in a position to enact change, but if I were- I would see the outer settlements cared for properly, in the same way that those residing within Ishgard are cared for. Perhaps one day, I will have a position that allows me to do more.

[ But perhaps that day will never come either, as many have no care for a vampire. He can only imagine that most would not take well to being led by one either.

These thoughts swirl in his mind even as he drinks his fill, only ceasing the train of thought when Phya speaks again. ]


How is it rude? Our manner of feeding may be different, and I imagine mine is quite distasteful to witness, and so in that regard, I should not eat in front of you. That does not mean that you should alter your own routines; if you wish to eat before me, I will not stop you. [ He would protest more as to the act of replacing the linens and ensuring that he bathes, but it seems as though her mind is quite well made up, and so he refrains from saying more.

Events move fairly quickly after that, with him being ushered into the bathroom and Phya and the head maid seeing to changing the linens. Eventually, Aymeric returns to the bed, a location that he finds himself eyeing with some distaste. Perhaps he is tired of the bed, of lying down. But if he has the willpower to stand and move about, it is only because of Phya and her assistance.

Still, he supposes he is not fully recovered yet, even though he feels capable of remaining standing, and so he allows himself to be escorted to the bed once more. ]


Good. If the food that is brought is not enough for you, I will send one of the household staff into the city to bring whatever it is you require.
thewayforpeace: (💠49)

[personal profile] thewayforpeace 2025-03-21 10:42 pm (UTC)(link)
[ To Aymeric, it no longer matters that the things that ordinary people enjoy and need to survive are not necessary for his own survival anymore. In fact, until Phya returned, his own survival was something he did not particularly care about. He continued to exist, but he wondered what he was existing for.

Perhaps since that has been his frame of mind for quite some time, it really does not matter to him that he can no longer enjoy things that others do as part of their day to day lives. If Phya wishes to eat, she has no reason to feel ashamed of it or limit herself because of him. He wants her to be healthy and well and whatever she has to do to become so is more than fine with him.

Once Phya's breakfast is delivered and she begins to eat, Aymeric simply lies back and lets his thoughts wander while she eats her fill. He does not allow his mind to wander so much that he is not attentive to her movements or if she should say something to him, but he simply lies there quietly and waits. Then, once she is seemingly finished (far too soon, in his mind), she stands and his attention focuses on her once more.

He smiles a small smile when her hands reach out for his, and he allows her to help with repositioning until he is sitting upright again.

Unless he is mistaken, something is on her mind and she wishes to put her thoughts into words, and so he remains quiet, waiting for her to speak. Her tone deepens and seems to age in a matter of seconds, and that, more than anything, is what wakes up a strong pull inside him: a strong desire for her. The desire has always been there, but now it is fully awake and reaching for her. ]


Even if you could not find the words you wished to use, I always knew. And I know that even now, because... because you came back. You could have chosen not to, or you could have found another. [ Someone whole and unharmed, not like I am now. ]

I still see you as that woman. [ His lips turn up into a wider smile. ] As far as I am concerned, you are still her.

[ A look of slight apprehension comes to his own eyes and he quickly tries to conceal it before she can spot it. The last thing he intends is to cause her more worry than she already has. ]

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