[ She simply squeezes his hand once more. Her fingers trail along his, the back of his hand, and his wrist. Small motions with feather light touch to ease him into sleep. It's far from the suggestion abilities she had in her previous life, but she hopes the gentle motions will simply lure him to sleep. When he finally rests? She closes her eyes to find a few hours herself.
Then, she is awake and back to her tasks.
Phya first speaks with the household staff and informs them of the progress of Aymeric's wounds. She assures that he has eaten in his unique way, to which both the maid and the steward seem relieved to hear. She requests another cup and explains that she will have potions to place on his wounds if further needed. Once he has awaken, eaten, and moved to the bath? He will need the linens changed on the bed. Then, hopefully, with a day or the one after.
She brings the empty cup back to bedroom and begins to gently tidy up. She checks the stock on her bandages. A mental note is made to restock as well. The potions are in good condition. His body has responded well to the blood and rest so the potions have not been as necessary.
A knife is pulled out and once again and she presses it into her skin. Blood rolls down into the cup below. Once enough has been collected? She heals her wound and wipes her arm off. Then, she places the cup on the bedside table. A hand reaches out and she gently squeezes Aymeric's arm once more to wake him. ]
[ When she begins to touch his hand and his wrist, he lets out a low sigh and he settles slightly into the bed. His eyes remain open and looking at her, as if a part of him is still attempting to resist her efforts to ease him into sleep. He does not wish to sleep, as he fears that he will awaken to find that none of this was real. He does not wish to awaken only to learn that she was never here, that he dreamed all of this from a place of longing and loneliness.
To have to confront that realization is more than he thinks he can handle. So, to that end, he tries to fight off the exhaustion that is trying to pull him down. But in the end, the exhaustion is greater than his ability to resist it, and slowly and reluctantly, his eyelids finally close and he relaxes fully against the bed.
Still, his sleep is light, lighter than one might suppose. He is resting, but some part of his mind is aware of things going on around him. Footsteps register in his mind even as he sleeps, but even he can't quite always follow who they belong to.
It isn't until she squeezes his arm and says his name that he begins to stir again. A handful of moments pass before he finally shifts on the bed and his eyes open once more. ]
Lantaa. You're still here. [ You didn't leave.
He hopes that she can tell that his tone is a grateful one, grateful that she did not leave him as he feared she would. Perhaps he can begin to accept that she is real and not a figure conjured up in dreams. ]
[ Phya understands why the concern exists. She had left him behind. Even if he sees it that he had failed her? The fact does not change that he was left alone for decades because she passed. She will need to prove that she is there every morning until that wound heals in his heart.
In her mind? He is the stronger of them. The wound on his heart does not go deep into the soul as hers do. He is able to keep himself hopeful and believing they will have lives together. ]
You need to eat, Aymeric. Then, we can see to a bath and changing the linens.
[ If he could hear her thoughts, he would say that he is hardly the stronger one here. Perhaps he merely buried his true feelings and pushed them aside, doing his best to pretend that they did not exist. That is hardly dealing with his upset or addressing it properly; simply pretending something is not an issue does not make it less of one. It certainly does nothing to address his own emotions concerning the matter. In fact, it could be considered simply dodging something uncomfortable and refusing to deal with it.
Perhaps in that way, Phya is more in tune with herself and her feelings than Aymeric is. ]
Have you eaten yet? Your needs should be seen to as well, if not seen to first.
[ He is confident that he can go awhile without eating; Phya, on the other hand, deserves to have her needs met first and completely, as it appears she has gone without for too long. ]
[ While more intune, she is dominated by the compounding emotions of lifetimes. There is certainly joy and love underneath the pain and soul crushing sorrow. While it seems as if one beats out the other? It is far more that they go hand in hand. As much as she loves him? She is haunted by the continually loss--sometimes never achieved lives.
What will it take for this wound in my heart to heal? ]
I thought to eat once you had bathed and the linens changed. You will have a comfortable place to rest and I could eat beside you. It wouls give us time to talk. [ A strained smile touches her face. ] It would be rude to eat in front of a vampire when he has yet to feast himself.
[ A hand raises to gesture to the cup on the table beside him. ] I have already prepared it. Do you need help to sit?
[ Perhaps the difference between them is that he decided he had to push away the swirling feelings he had of loss and despair and missing the one person- the one soul that he has always wanted to be with, in order to continue going on. But has he truly gone on with his life, functioning as someone going through the day to day on this star? Looking at how he has spent his time over these last years, he can hardly say that he has.
Perhaps he is the one who became lost in his misery, withdrawing from the world and from the people in it, disconnecting himself from life and living. Perhaps she is truly the stronger one of the two of them, as she has been out there in the world, not cutting herself off from it as he so thoroughly has. ]
How long has it been since you last ate? And how long has it been since you felt warm and safe? [ He can only guess at what her days have been like, but a part of him is certain that she has not always had something hot to eat or somewhere safe to lie down and sleep for the night. ] But if that is what you wish to do... The time to talk with you would be welcome. But then- it would not be rude of you to eat. I would not think it so.
[ Still, it seems as though she has already made preparations, he decides to not protest further. As for her question, he tries to make an attempt at sitting up without aid, and the effort he makes is the best one he can manage, but in the end, he decides he will have to accept her assistance for a little while longer. ]
If it is not too much trouble... and you have gone through enough trouble already on my account. [ If she declines, he will continue as best as he can. ]
I ate yesterday. [ Phya stands straight as if to prove it is not a lie. ] "Warm and safe"? Our village was as warm and safe as one most likely is in our situation. I will not make a formal complaint or request to you, Aymeric. I know you are in little position to do something unless the Holy See sees fit.
[ Many Temple Knights told her as such when they would pass through. Not that any called the Lord Commander by name.
Phya shakes her head at herself.
Her hands reach out to help him sit. Not that she has much weight in the way of leverage. Once he is balanced? She holds the cup for him to take. A thought remains in the back of her mind that he disliked eating from her directly before. Something inside her ripples at the idea of feeding him directly, but are the feelings her own or simplg because she is near him and he is a vampire? Not that the feeling matters. She does not wish him to be angry or to ever dislike what she does for him. If feeding him from the cup is the best way? Then, she will do that. ]
You should eat before me. [ Her eyes move away to give him some semblance of privacy as he drinks. ] Bathing will aid in the feeling of being fresh, and with new linens, you can finish your recuperation in comfort. We... we can talk on whatever you wish.
[ He will need her full name. Her new name. Others will say it and he will hear it regardless.]
You will need to eat again. [ It's not a command, simply an observation, and then Aymeric's expression darkens slightly at her next words. ] Yes, in your situation. But the situation should not be that way, and there must be something that I can do to address it, even if all I can do is put in a petition with the Holy See.
[ Perhaps it is a futile endeavor, but Aymeric knows he has spent too long doing nothing and letting the world pass him by. He needs to put an end to that now.
Or at least as soon as he is able, with his recovery.
He tries to make the process of sitting up less difficult for them both, and he does his best to not lean against her too much, lest he inadvertently hurt her. But once he is seated and the cup is extended to him, there is barely any hesitation before he reaches for it. He does not drink it too quickly or too greedily, as he feels such things are unbecoming even for him, but there is no ignoring the fact that he is hungry, perhaps hungrier than even he realized.
This hunger is not just a need for replenishing his supply; the taste of the blood she offers adds to that hunger, that need to drink. ]
Not always, I hope. I hope that you will allow me to see you fed first. And as for the rest- well, I can do without it, but if you insist.. I imagine I would be easier for you to be around if I am clean.
[ As clean as one such as him can be, at any rate. ]
I will. [ Phya nods in agreement and also to show that she is willing to do as he directs. He is her lord now, after all, even if she cannot bring herself to say the titles she would once have lovingly called him. She does not deserve it. ] The outlier settlements would certainly appreciate the notion by any means. As it is... aid has come from beyond the borders of Corethas. I know the Holy See looks down upon such interactions since the Calamity, but, otherwise none of us would have survived as we have.
[ Perhaps she should not have admitted that to the Lord Commander. However, he needs to know as his entire capacity. Surely he had read the reports that came from the settlements. If they mentioned aid from beyond would be an entirely different matter.
Her ears twitch gently at the sound of him drinking. Eyes remain downwards in order to show that she does not see him as some sort of show or entertainment. He has needs to be met that are not human by any means. Yet, he does not need to be made a show of for others--even herself. Something tells her he would always prefer to eat in private away from the eyes of others. If need be? She will prepare cups and leave the room so that he might feed. Rats, in her mind now, are out of the question for his dietary needs. ]
It's... rude, isn't it? If I eat before you. Given you eat so differently. [ A frown tugs to her face and ears press to her head. ] It is not a matter of "be easier to be around." This is for your own health, of mind and body.
[ Once he has finished, Phya gently takes the cup from him to place on the table. She crosses to the door and calls for the household staff. The headmaid arrives with linens while the steward also arrives to aid Aymeric into the bathroom to bathe. Phya and the headmaid change the linens and blankets. A finger is wagged at the young Miqo'te for not asking for her own meal before the Elezen leaves to deposit the laundry as well as fetch a meal.
Phya glances at the bathroom door before taking a seat on the bed. That is, until the stewart fetches a fresh pair of clothes for Aymeric and returns to the bathroom. Moments later the Lord Commander is escorted back to the bed. Phya stands, only to find that the stewart also brings a chair for her to sit in beside the bed. She is instructed to sit and thus she does obediently. The other member of the staff leaves the room with a soft click of the door.
The young Miqo'te blinks then raises her gaze back to the Elezen beside her. ] Your maid is bringing breakfast.
[ Aymeric's expression shifts then and his jaw tightens as some measure of dislike, perhaps even annoyance, takes hold of him. He is not in a position of great influence nor power, but he does not like the idea of settlements being left to their own devices. There is more they could be doing, but from what he knows from various reports, not very much is being done at all. ]
I am hardly in a position to enact change, but if I were- I would see the outer settlements cared for properly, in the same way that those residing within Ishgard are cared for. Perhaps one day, I will have a position that allows me to do more.
[ But perhaps that day will never come either, as many have no care for a vampire. He can only imagine that most would not take well to being led by one either.
These thoughts swirl in his mind even as he drinks his fill, only ceasing the train of thought when Phya speaks again. ]
How is it rude? Our manner of feeding may be different, and I imagine mine is quite distasteful to witness, and so in that regard, I should not eat in front of you. That does not mean that you should alter your own routines; if you wish to eat before me, I will not stop you. [ He would protest more as to the act of replacing the linens and ensuring that he bathes, but it seems as though her mind is quite well made up, and so he refrains from saying more.
Events move fairly quickly after that, with him being ushered into the bathroom and Phya and the head maid seeing to changing the linens. Eventually, Aymeric returns to the bed, a location that he finds himself eyeing with some distaste. Perhaps he is tired of the bed, of lying down. But if he has the willpower to stand and move about, it is only because of Phya and her assistance.
Still, he supposes he is not fully recovered yet, even though he feels capable of remaining standing, and so he allows himself to be escorted to the bed once more. ]
Good. If the food that is brought is not enough for you, I will send one of the household staff into the city to bring whatever it is you require.
[ The fact she can sit and enjoy food that he no longer can simply sits weong with her. In her mind, it comes to her as if she is holding mortality and humanity in front of him. Tantalizing with what he has lost. Perhaps that is not a thing to worry over as he has long since been a vampire. Yet, it sticks out to her mind no matter how much she wishes the opposite.
A bashful smile takes her face before looking down. She is not one to eat much. Somehow that seems as if he will find it disagreeable.
Breakfast is delivered. Phya thanks the staff for their aid and they see themselves out. She gently moves her fork around before taking a few bites. A pit has formed in her stomach and not of hunger. Something else that feels as if had always lurked beneath the surface in this life, her past, and possibly many others. Phya takes another bite before placing the food to the side.
Then, she stands. She turns to face Aymeric on the bed. Her smaller hands reach out to help him sit up once more if his side finds it agreeable.
She must say this before the will leaves her and she finishes her breakfast feeling things have been upstate. A sharp inhale and she raises her blue eyes to his own. White hair frames her darker complexion. Hands curl around his. ]
Aymeric. [ Her love, her only one, her knight and lord. The titles come to mind but she dare not speak them.
An older gaze settles into her eyes. Her voice seems to age ever so slightly when she speaks: ] I... have always felt that in any life, I can't express how much I love you. How deeply and truly that I love you. How completely and utterly those emotions capture me and always have... even in the time where I asked you to bind ourselves to one another.
[ Her gaze lowers further. ] How... I wish I was more like the woman you surely fell in love with. Not the one I've become.
[ To Aymeric, it no longer matters that the things that ordinary people enjoy and need to survive are not necessary for his own survival anymore. In fact, until Phya returned, his own survival was something he did not particularly care about. He continued to exist, but he wondered what he was existing for.
Perhaps since that has been his frame of mind for quite some time, it really does not matter to him that he can no longer enjoy things that others do as part of their day to day lives. If Phya wishes to eat, she has no reason to feel ashamed of it or limit herself because of him. He wants her to be healthy and well and whatever she has to do to become so is more than fine with him.
Once Phya's breakfast is delivered and she begins to eat, Aymeric simply lies back and lets his thoughts wander while she eats her fill. He does not allow his mind to wander so much that he is not attentive to her movements or if she should say something to him, but he simply lies there quietly and waits. Then, once she is seemingly finished (far too soon, in his mind), she stands and his attention focuses on her once more.
He smiles a small smile when her hands reach out for his, and he allows her to help with repositioning until he is sitting upright again.
Unless he is mistaken, something is on her mind and she wishes to put her thoughts into words, and so he remains quiet, waiting for her to speak. Her tone deepens and seems to age in a matter of seconds, and that, more than anything, is what wakes up a strong pull inside him: a strong desire for her. The desire has always been there, but now it is fully awake and reaching for her. ]
Even if you could not find the words you wished to use, I always knew. And I know that even now, because... because you came back. You could have chosen not to, or you could have found another. [ Someone whole and unharmed, not like I am now. ]
I still see you as that woman. [ His lips turn up into a wider smile. ] As far as I am concerned, you are still her.
[ A look of slight apprehension comes to his own eyes and he quickly tries to conceal it before she can spot it. The last thing he intends is to cause her more worry than she already has. ]
[ A frustrated and yet sad expression takes her face. ] Why would I chose another? I bound myself to you. Then, now, and in any life. There is no other soul on our star that I wish to be with.
[ Surely, there are others that have caught his attention in other lives. Surely, he is not the one burdened with memories and emotions of lives compounded on top of one. He has always been the stronger one. He has always been the one that can soldier on regardless of the past. He is not burdened by it as she has been--most out of her own choice. ]
How can I be seen as anything of that life? Especially now that I'm... this. [ An under current of disgust at herself. Hands curl and nails dig hard into her skin. ] Weak, sickly, unable to truly heal as I should be able to...
[ Her soul feels as if she is the furthest from who she should be. Who she has been in her lives. ]
Have you truly never seen another person and desired him? Wished that you could begin a life with him? [ Aymeric himself never has; he has only ever loved Alkaid- Phya. But if she told him that she had wished to be free of their bond, he would understand. If, in another life, she had married another, he would understand it and do his best to not feel regret. And, well, he would not know of it, unless she had told him, after all. ]
No one else has ever caught your eye and made you wonder what life with them might be like?
[ He has not yet pointed out that he carries with him his own emotions and memories, because such admissions are not ones he is accustomed to making. He is used to keeping everything inside, simply because there was no one else with whom he could talk to, and thus he fell out of the habit of speaking about himself at all.
To others, that most likely gives the appearance of strength, and yet he feels as though he is the exact opposite of strong. ]
How can you be seen as anything of that life? Easily, for one who knows you. [ His lips turn up into a small but loving smile. ] You will not always be weak or sick, but even so, I still see you as beautiful, and the one person in all the star, in all lives, that I love.
[ Phya looks down once more. Should she tell him about the uncountable nights she spent waiting for him to come and find her? The Starlight Eve in which she was given the stuffed fox that she would pretend was him to help her through the worst days of winter? He'd surely find it ridiculous and pathetic. ]
No one else. Ever--in any life.
[ Her hands come together in a familiar notion. They begin to twist. ] I... don't know if you remember anything from times before this life--or how I was when we first met. But, I... [ I do. I remember so much. I remember so much more than I should. ] I wish to be more like the woman I was when you first met me. The one you fell in love with.
It may mean more to me than you, but...
[ She looks up at him. Tears come to her eyes at his admission. ]
[ His eyes attempt to lock onto hers, but even the action is slow, unhurried: each movement considered, as though to preserve the fragility of the moment. His voice, when it comes, is low and reverent, edged with something almost like awe. ]
You have never ceased to be her, not in my eyes. I see you as her, but also as you, in this new life. I wish to get to know you as you are and as you have been, because I will always love you in any life.
[ His gaze drops to her hands, noting the familiarity of that motion. How many times has he seen her hands twist together in that exact way, across lifetimes, across years... He remembers all of it. ]
Though my recollections are fragmented, there are things I cannot forget. I remember how you sound when you laugh, how it never fails to lift my spirits. I remember the light that sparks in your eyes when you speak of the things you have seen, even when those things take a sadder turn.
[ He reaches for her hands at last, his touch gentle, trying to steady the restless motion. ]
You do not need to be anything or anyone other than who you are now. And even when I was slow to remember, or too distracted by other things to really see you, you were never forgotten. Not truly.
[ He pauses for just a moment, trying to navigate the sudden swell of memories and feelings that are beginning to awaken again. ]
If you will allow it, let me carry these memories alongside you. Let me remember with you.
[ Phya stills as Aymeric answers. She knows it's not simply Aymeric in the life he lives now, but the soul that has wanted nothing more than to have her at his side in life after life.
He takes her hands into his and she stills. Once more she realizes how truly small she is in this life compared to him. Yet, nothing seems to stop him from embracing her as who she truly is--his ancient love. The soul he bound to.
Her heart gives a painful beat at his offer. How she has wished to open herself and cry at the unfairness their multiple lives have been. How even in those that they were together in seemed to have tragedy strike in some manner. How there have been lives she has never found him in. How lives she had found him but was unable to be with him in various ways. All of the hurts bared at his feet in hopes he could help her place her back together in some form of the woman he first met.
She blinks and feels hot tears run down her cheeks. ]
Phya. [ She offers her name as a way of accepting his terms. ] Phya Tayuun.
Phya Tayuun. [ He echoes the name as he moves to brush the tears from her cheeks; of course, they are not something to be ashamed of, but he imagines that she has shed enough of them in her lifetime: in all lifetimes. ]
This time, I am resolved to stay with you, and if anything attempts to separate us again, that attempt will not happen without a fight.
[ He leans closer to her so that he might see her eyes and eliminate the distance between them. He finds he can't quite recall what her eyes looked like before, so he resolves to simply memorize the way her eyes look now. And then, once they are closer together, he leans his forehead against hers and stays there. ]
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synthneon2024-11-25 02:03 am
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[ She simply squeezes his hand once more. Her fingers trail along his, the back of his hand, and his wrist. Small motions with feather light touch to ease him into sleep. It's far from the suggestion abilities she had in her previous life, but she hopes the gentle motions will simply lure him to sleep. When he finally rests? She closes her eyes to find a few hours herself.
Then, she is awake and back to her tasks.
Phya first speaks with the household staff and informs them of the progress of Aymeric's wounds. She assures that he has eaten in his unique way, to which both the maid and the steward seem relieved to hear. She requests another cup and explains that she will have potions to place on his wounds if further needed. Once he has awaken, eaten, and moved to the bath? He will need the linens changed on the bed. Then, hopefully, with a day or the one after.
She brings the empty cup back to bedroom and begins to gently tidy up. She checks the stock on her bandages. A mental note is made to restock as well. The potions are in good condition. His body has responded well to the blood and rest so the potions have not been as necessary.
A knife is pulled out and once again and she presses it into her skin. Blood rolls down into the cup below. Once enough has been collected? She heals her wound and wipes her arm off. Then, she places the cup on the bedside table. A hand reaches out and she gently squeezes Aymeric's arm once more to wake him. ]
Aymeric.
no subject
To have to confront that realization is more than he thinks he can handle. So, to that end, he tries to fight off the exhaustion that is trying to pull him down. But in the end, the exhaustion is greater than his ability to resist it, and slowly and reluctantly, his eyelids finally close and he relaxes fully against the bed.
Still, his sleep is light, lighter than one might suppose. He is resting, but some part of his mind is aware of things going on around him. Footsteps register in his mind even as he sleeps, but even he can't quite always follow who they belong to.
It isn't until she squeezes his arm and says his name that he begins to stir again. A handful of moments pass before he finally shifts on the bed and his eyes open once more. ]
Lantaa. You're still here. [ You didn't leave.
He hopes that she can tell that his tone is a grateful one, grateful that she did not leave him as he feared she would. Perhaps he can begin to accept that she is real and not a figure conjured up in dreams. ]
no subject
Of course.
[ Phya understands why the concern exists. She had left him behind. Even if he sees it that he had failed her? The fact does not change that he was left alone for decades because she passed. She will need to prove that she is there every morning until that wound heals in his heart.
In her mind? He is the stronger of them. The wound on his heart does not go deep into the soul as hers do. He is able to keep himself hopeful and believing they will have lives together. ]
You need to eat, Aymeric. Then, we can see to a bath and changing the linens.
no subject
Perhaps in that way, Phya is more in tune with herself and her feelings than Aymeric is. ]
Have you eaten yet? Your needs should be seen to as well, if not seen to first.
[ He is confident that he can go awhile without eating; Phya, on the other hand, deserves to have her needs met first and completely, as it appears she has gone without for too long. ]
no subject
What will it take for this wound in my heart to heal? ]
I thought to eat once you had bathed and the linens changed. You will have a comfortable place to rest and I could eat beside you. It wouls give us time to talk. [ A strained smile touches her face. ] It would be rude to eat in front of a vampire when he has yet to feast himself.
[ A hand raises to gesture to the cup on the table beside him. ] I have already prepared it. Do you need help to sit?
no subject
Perhaps he is the one who became lost in his misery, withdrawing from the world and from the people in it, disconnecting himself from life and living. Perhaps she is truly the stronger one of the two of them, as she has been out there in the world, not cutting herself off from it as he so thoroughly has. ]
How long has it been since you last ate? And how long has it been since you felt warm and safe? [ He can only guess at what her days have been like, but a part of him is certain that she has not always had something hot to eat or somewhere safe to lie down and sleep for the night. ] But if that is what you wish to do... The time to talk with you would be welcome. But then- it would not be rude of you to eat. I would not think it so.
[ Still, it seems as though she has already made preparations, he decides to not protest further. As for her question, he tries to make an attempt at sitting up without aid, and the effort he makes is the best one he can manage, but in the end, he decides he will have to accept her assistance for a little while longer. ]
If it is not too much trouble... and you have gone through enough trouble already on my account. [ If she declines, he will continue as best as he can. ]
no subject
[ Many Temple Knights told her as such when they would pass through. Not that any called the Lord Commander by name.
Phya shakes her head at herself.
Her hands reach out to help him sit. Not that she has much weight in the way of leverage. Once he is balanced? She holds the cup for him to take. A thought remains in the back of her mind that he disliked eating from her directly before. Something inside her ripples at the idea of feeding him directly, but are the feelings her own or simplg because she is near him and he is a vampire? Not that the feeling matters. She does not wish him to be angry or to ever dislike what she does for him. If feeding him from the cup is the best way? Then, she will do that. ]
You should eat before me. [ Her eyes move away to give him some semblance of privacy as he drinks. ] Bathing will aid in the feeling of being fresh, and with new linens, you can finish your recuperation in comfort. We... we can talk on whatever you wish.
[ He will need her full name. Her new name. Others will say it and he will hear it regardless.]
no subject
[ Perhaps it is a futile endeavor, but Aymeric knows he has spent too long doing nothing and letting the world pass him by. He needs to put an end to that now.
Or at least as soon as he is able, with his recovery.
He tries to make the process of sitting up less difficult for them both, and he does his best to not lean against her too much, lest he inadvertently hurt her. But once he is seated and the cup is extended to him, there is barely any hesitation before he reaches for it. He does not drink it too quickly or too greedily, as he feels such things are unbecoming even for him, but there is no ignoring the fact that he is hungry, perhaps hungrier than even he realized.
This hunger is not just a need for replenishing his supply; the taste of the blood she offers adds to that hunger, that need to drink. ]
Not always, I hope. I hope that you will allow me to see you fed first. And as for the rest- well, I can do without it, but if you insist.. I imagine I would be easier for you to be around if I am clean.
[ As clean as one such as him can be, at any rate. ]
no subject
[ Perhaps she should not have admitted that to the Lord Commander. However, he needs to know as his entire capacity. Surely he had read the reports that came from the settlements. If they mentioned aid from beyond would be an entirely different matter.
Her ears twitch gently at the sound of him drinking. Eyes remain downwards in order to show that she does not see him as some sort of show or entertainment. He has needs to be met that are not human by any means. Yet, he does not need to be made a show of for others--even herself. Something tells her he would always prefer to eat in private away from the eyes of others. If need be? She will prepare cups and leave the room so that he might feed. Rats, in her mind now, are out of the question for his dietary needs. ]
It's... rude, isn't it? If I eat before you. Given you eat so differently. [ A frown tugs to her face and ears press to her head. ] It is not a matter of "be easier to be around." This is for your own health, of mind and body.
[ Once he has finished, Phya gently takes the cup from him to place on the table. She crosses to the door and calls for the household staff. The headmaid arrives with linens while the steward also arrives to aid Aymeric into the bathroom to bathe. Phya and the headmaid change the linens and blankets. A finger is wagged at the young Miqo'te for not asking for her own meal before the Elezen leaves to deposit the laundry as well as fetch a meal.
Phya glances at the bathroom door before taking a seat on the bed. That is, until the stewart fetches a fresh pair of clothes for Aymeric and returns to the bathroom. Moments later the Lord Commander is escorted back to the bed. Phya stands, only to find that the stewart also brings a chair for her to sit in beside the bed. She is instructed to sit and thus she does obediently. The other member of the staff leaves the room with a soft click of the door.
The young Miqo'te blinks then raises her gaze back to the Elezen beside her. ] Your maid is bringing breakfast.
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I am hardly in a position to enact change, but if I were- I would see the outer settlements cared for properly, in the same way that those residing within Ishgard are cared for. Perhaps one day, I will have a position that allows me to do more.
[ But perhaps that day will never come either, as many have no care for a vampire. He can only imagine that most would not take well to being led by one either.
These thoughts swirl in his mind even as he drinks his fill, only ceasing the train of thought when Phya speaks again. ]
How is it rude? Our manner of feeding may be different, and I imagine mine is quite distasteful to witness, and so in that regard, I should not eat in front of you. That does not mean that you should alter your own routines; if you wish to eat before me, I will not stop you. [ He would protest more as to the act of replacing the linens and ensuring that he bathes, but it seems as though her mind is quite well made up, and so he refrains from saying more.
Events move fairly quickly after that, with him being ushered into the bathroom and Phya and the head maid seeing to changing the linens. Eventually, Aymeric returns to the bed, a location that he finds himself eyeing with some distaste. Perhaps he is tired of the bed, of lying down. But if he has the willpower to stand and move about, it is only because of Phya and her assistance.
Still, he supposes he is not fully recovered yet, even though he feels capable of remaining standing, and so he allows himself to be escorted to the bed once more. ]
Good. If the food that is brought is not enough for you, I will send one of the household staff into the city to bring whatever it is you require.
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A bashful smile takes her face before looking down. She is not one to eat much. Somehow that seems as if he will find it disagreeable.
Breakfast is delivered. Phya thanks the staff for their aid and they see themselves out. She gently moves her fork around before taking a few bites. A pit has formed in her stomach and not of hunger. Something else that feels as if had always lurked beneath the surface in this life, her past, and possibly many others. Phya takes another bite before placing the food to the side.
Then, she stands. She turns to face Aymeric on the bed. Her smaller hands reach out to help him sit up once more if his side finds it agreeable.
She must say this before the will leaves her and she finishes her breakfast feeling things have been upstate. A sharp inhale and she raises her blue eyes to his own. White hair frames her darker complexion. Hands curl around his. ]
Aymeric. [ Her love, her only one, her knight and lord. The titles come to mind but she dare not speak them.
An older gaze settles into her eyes. Her voice seems to age ever so slightly when she speaks: ] I... have always felt that in any life, I can't express how much I love you. How deeply and truly that I love you. How completely and utterly those emotions capture me and always have... even in the time where I asked you to bind ourselves to one another.
[ Her gaze lowers further. ] How... I wish I was more like the woman you surely fell in love with. Not the one I've become.
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Perhaps since that has been his frame of mind for quite some time, it really does not matter to him that he can no longer enjoy things that others do as part of their day to day lives. If Phya wishes to eat, she has no reason to feel ashamed of it or limit herself because of him. He wants her to be healthy and well and whatever she has to do to become so is more than fine with him.
Once Phya's breakfast is delivered and she begins to eat, Aymeric simply lies back and lets his thoughts wander while she eats her fill. He does not allow his mind to wander so much that he is not attentive to her movements or if she should say something to him, but he simply lies there quietly and waits. Then, once she is seemingly finished (far too soon, in his mind), she stands and his attention focuses on her once more.
He smiles a small smile when her hands reach out for his, and he allows her to help with repositioning until he is sitting upright again.
Unless he is mistaken, something is on her mind and she wishes to put her thoughts into words, and so he remains quiet, waiting for her to speak. Her tone deepens and seems to age in a matter of seconds, and that, more than anything, is what wakes up a strong pull inside him: a strong desire for her. The desire has always been there, but now it is fully awake and reaching for her. ]
Even if you could not find the words you wished to use, I always knew. And I know that even now, because... because you came back. You could have chosen not to, or you could have found another. [ Someone whole and unharmed, not like I am now. ]
I still see you as that woman. [ His lips turn up into a wider smile. ] As far as I am concerned, you are still her.
[ A look of slight apprehension comes to his own eyes and he quickly tries to conceal it before she can spot it. The last thing he intends is to cause her more worry than she already has. ]
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[ Surely, there are others that have caught his attention in other lives. Surely, he is not the one burdened with memories and emotions of lives compounded on top of one. He has always been the stronger one. He has always been the one that can soldier on regardless of the past. He is not burdened by it as she has been--most out of her own choice. ]
How can I be seen as anything of that life? Especially now that I'm... this. [ An under current of disgust at herself. Hands curl and nails dig hard into her skin. ] Weak, sickly, unable to truly heal as I should be able to...
[ Her soul feels as if she is the furthest from who she should be. Who she has been in her lives. ]
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No one else has ever caught your eye and made you wonder what life with them might be like?
[ He has not yet pointed out that he carries with him his own emotions and memories, because such admissions are not ones he is accustomed to making. He is used to keeping everything inside, simply because there was no one else with whom he could talk to, and thus he fell out of the habit of speaking about himself at all.
To others, that most likely gives the appearance of strength, and yet he feels as though he is the exact opposite of strong. ]
How can you be seen as anything of that life? Easily, for one who knows you. [ His lips turn up into a small but loving smile. ] You will not always be weak or sick, but even so, I still see you as beautiful, and the one person in all the star, in all lives, that I love.
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[ Phya looks down once more. Should she tell him about the uncountable nights she spent waiting for him to come and find her? The Starlight Eve in which she was given the stuffed fox that she would pretend was him to help her through the worst days of winter? He'd surely find it ridiculous and pathetic. ]
No one else. Ever--in any life.
[ Her hands come together in a familiar notion. They begin to twist. ] I... don't know if you remember anything from times before this life--or how I was when we first met. But, I... [ I do. I remember so much. I remember so much more than I should. ] I wish to be more like the woman I was when you first met me. The one you fell in love with.
It may mean more to me than you, but...
[ She looks up at him. Tears come to her eyes at his admission. ]
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You have never ceased to be her, not in my eyes. I see you as her, but also as you, in this new life. I wish to get to know you as you are and as you have been, because I will always love you in any life.
[ His gaze drops to her hands, noting the familiarity of that motion. How many times has he seen her hands twist together in that exact way, across lifetimes, across years... He remembers all of it. ]
Though my recollections are fragmented, there are things I cannot forget. I remember how you sound when you laugh, how it never fails to lift my spirits. I remember the light that sparks in your eyes when you speak of the things you have seen, even when those things take a sadder turn.
[ He reaches for her hands at last, his touch gentle, trying to steady the restless motion. ]
You do not need to be anything or anyone other than who you are now. And even when I was slow to remember, or too distracted by other things to really see you, you were never forgotten. Not truly.
[ He pauses for just a moment, trying to navigate the sudden swell of memories and feelings that are beginning to awaken again. ]
If you will allow it, let me carry these memories alongside you. Let me remember with you.
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He takes her hands into his and she stills. Once more she realizes how truly small she is in this life compared to him. Yet, nothing seems to stop him from embracing her as who she truly is--his ancient love. The soul he bound to.
Her heart gives a painful beat at his offer. How she has wished to open herself and cry at the unfairness their multiple lives have been. How even in those that they were together in seemed to have tragedy strike in some manner. How there have been lives she has never found him in. How lives she had found him but was unable to be with him in various ways. All of the hurts bared at his feet in hopes he could help her place her back together in some form of the woman he first met.
She blinks and feels hot tears run down her cheeks. ]
Phya. [ She offers her name as a way of accepting his terms. ] Phya Tayuun.
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This time, I am resolved to stay with you, and if anything attempts to separate us again, that attempt will not happen without a fight.
[ He leans closer to her so that he might see her eyes and eliminate the distance between them. He finds he can't quite recall what her eyes looked like before, so he resolves to simply memorize the way her eyes look now. And then, once they are closer together, he leans his forehead against hers and stays there. ]