synthneon | oceanview (different path) || ❝ turn the page i need to see something new. ❞

[ He startles when she falls against him, but he's quick to catch her and hold onto her, sensing without being told that she needs to be supported right now. The fact that she's pressing her face into him is telling enough, but he can tell she needs more, and he's willing to give her more. He's already forced enough trouble onto her, so the least he can do is just be there for her. ]

It was for the best that you left, right? I mean, I know it wasn't ideal, but what if you stayed and they hauled you in? I don't know, but I don't think that would have been better.

But looking back on it, even if it would have gotten you stuck here too, maybe you could have come with me... or maybe you could have at least gone with me a little ways and then turned back. [ If she actually turned back. ]

I'm sorry that I put you through that. I'm sorry that I'm still putting you through this.

Staying in Bright Falls would have meant being closer to Cauldron Lake. When you come home. [ She falls quiet after that statement. It feels too open and too exposed to say more. He will be able to understand why she wanted to stay there by just the little bit of information.

No, she wouldn't have turned back. She would have gone all the way. Tried to find a way to pull him from the Lake after his wife (ex-wife?) was free.

Jesse shifts slightly, then raises her eyes to look up at him. Green locks onto gray. She has always said more with her eyes and her body language. The longing for him to be home and be with him again is clear as daylight. The loneliness she still has locked inside. He doesn't need to know. It would only make him feel worse.

« If... if he's not really here, and just projecting out or whatever... is this really Alan? Does he remember everything? Does--does he still.... it's been two years. Maybe not. » ]

Oh. Yeah, that- makes sense. [ He hadn't thought of it like that, and he feels another stab of regret knowing he's hurt her too, just like people in her past have. ] I'm coming back, you know. I just- I don't know exactly when that'll be. Soon, I hope.

Even if you're not in Bright Falls when I do, I'll find you somehow. Maybe. Hopefully. No, not hopefully. I'll do it.

[ And he hopes she doesn't take that in a creepy, possessive way, because that's not what he means. ]

Maybe both of us just need to come back to Bright Falls, even if it takes us a little while to get there. That's just where we'll meet up.

[ It's too optimistic, too hopeful, but part of Alan's already latched onto the idea. ]

[ Her eyes search his as he continues. The look on her face softens at his reassurance. He's going to come home. It would probably be wise to not take it as a promise, but, part of Jesse can't help see it as anything else. No. That's not it. She won't take it any other way.

He has to come home. ]

Tell me when. I'll be there. [ Her answer is immediate. No hesitation. Her voice may tremble with emotion and he has to hold her up. ] Just--don't forget me. Okay?

[ Don't forget I'm waiting.

Jesse isn't even sure why she said it or suddenly feels it. Nothing Alan has ever said would suggest it. He's sworn the opposite time and time again. He was even looking for her by sending that picture out to her phone.

She tries to raise her head to look stronger than she feels. ]

I'll find a way to reach you. Maybe it'll be like how we did it this time. Maybe it'll be a letter. A phone call. You'll know it's me when you hear it or when you get it.

[ He doesn't mind holding her up. In fact, he's glad to do it. He wants to touch her, to feel her, as if something is telling him to remember this, because he might not have the chance to feel another person- to feel her in his arms for a long time. Maybe that something is just a feeling, or maybe it's an echo in his mind telling him not to let this moment pass. There might be a time down the road that he'll miss the feel of another living person, and so this moment is more important than most. ]

I won't. I won't forget you. Hey, I know.

[ He has a piece of paper on him, partially written on but with enough space remaining for something, and he knows what that something is. Maybe it's by luck or maybe it's soemthing else a little more fanciful but no less real, but he spots a broken off pencil on the ground and picks it up. ]

Write your name here, if you don't mind. That'll help me remember you. [ In theory, anyway. ]

[ At first, she nods to his conclusions. She can find a way to keep open for any of those things. Maybe it won't matter what phone she uses or where she's at. She had been in the middle of a park in Arizona when this cross of communication happened. He might be able to reach her anywhere because of their... connection?

Eyebrows knit then at his request. She knows she said not to forget her. Is there a chance he could actually forget? Why would he? What about her is forgettable? Or, is it something to do with the nature of where he found himself through the Lake?

She looks down at the paper and pencil with a mixture of hesitation and hurt. She can't deny the request. It's the fact the request exists at all that hurts her. With a glance back up at him, Jesse takes the paper and the pen. The motion feels monumental as she has to remove herself from him and force herself to stand. Everything in her wants to simply collapse after everything inside her the last two years.

Losing Alan... then Polaris...

She steps away from Alan with unsteady movements. Within a few beats she has her backpack and pulls out a pen. The paper goes to the end table beside the bed. First, she writes with the broken pencil. Then, she traces over it with the pen. Finally, she folds the paper neatly. A turn and backtracking leads her to standing in front of him with the paper outstretched between her index and middle finger. When he reaches for it? She pulls it back slightly. ]

Don't read it unless you need to. [ Jesse glances down then holds it out to him again. ] Don't lose it.

[ There is far more on it than just her name.

Her gaze falls again. Legs begun to shake. She falls down on the end of the bed, catching herself to sit on top of it. Hands rest beside her before they slip from the bed. They raise to tug on the flannel he's wearing. Trying to bring him closer again.

She was never someone who touched or initiated contact with anyone. Then, she met him. Now she never wants to stop being able to feel him. Her forehead rests on his abs as she leans against him again.

She wonders if it's obvious to hum that Polaris is gone. Well, she is gone to Jesse. That connection is still there... merely muted. Quiet. None of the sound of her guide can be seen of heard, but the traces are still there.

A long moment stretches out as she wrestles with saying everything on her mind. The things kept inside. ]

... I miss you.

[ How he feels. How he sounds. How it feels when he touches me. I miss all of it. ]

Edited 2024-05-24 09:58 (UTC)

[ There has to be a way for him to keep reaching out to her. He sees things sometimes: visions, dreams, things he couldn't understand or know, but he's seen them. He doesn't really understand how it all works, but he knows he's always seen things for as long as he can remember. It's things that he shouldn't be able to know, but they find their way to him somehow. Maybe the connection can go the other way too; could he send messages to her somehow?

Who knows what form those messages would take, but any message is better than none at all.

If he knew the thoughts going through her mind, he'd tell her without even the slightest bit of hesitation that she's anything but forgettable. If it was solely up to him, he wouldn't even need to take precautions in the form of a handwritten note from her. But he feels like he needs to do this. He needs this failsafe, even if he doesn't quite understand why. It's the nature of the place he's in; he knows that much. But something, whether his own instinct or an instinct coming from someone far away, is telling him he needs to do this.

To Alan, it looks as though Jesse is questioning why he asked her to write on the piece of paper. He hopes she knows he's not doubting her or that he's calling her someone forgettable. Please just write on the paper in case I do forget this. I don't want to forget this, but if I do, I'll need the reminder. I'll need to be able to read her name so that I can remember. I have to remember. I don't understand why this feels so important, but I can't just ignore this feeling.

Eventually, she finishes writing and she folds up the paper and holds it out to him. He reaches for it only for her to pull back just a fraction. His own fingers curl in response and he waits to see what she'll do next. ]

Okay. I won't. I promise. I'll keep it safe, and I won't lose it, and I won't read it unless something happens to make me need to read it.

[ There's the briefest of pauses and then he adds: ] Thank you.

[ But then he startles when he sees her legs start to shake, followed by her falling and barely managing to catch herself. He's already moving when her hands tug on the flannel he wears, and in a second, he's by her side again.

It might not be immediately obvious to him that Polaris isn't with Jesse anymore, at least not in the way that she's used to, but he can tell that something isn't right. He doesn't know what more to do other than to get closer to her and hold her as she leans against him. His hold tightens as the minutes seem to stretch on before she says she misses him. ]

I miss you too. [ He wants to remember this: how she feels and how it feels to hold her. But he also wants to remember the sound of her voice so that he can hear it and remember her words when he's on his own again. ] I want to stay here with you.

[ As long as I can, anyway. ]

[ A soft look is in her gaze. If he needed the fail safe, can he even guarantee that he won't forget about the piece of paper? None of it makes sense to her. She doesn't understand. But, logic dictates if he needed the fail safe then not even the memory of the paper is something that he can promise. Still, there is some element of faith that needs to be had.

Faith and trust.

The two hardest things to ask from her.

She rests against his stomach and closes her eyes. She wants to feel him touch her again. The feeling hasn't been forgotten, but there is something to be said about memories and experiencing it again. Even if it's just his hands around her and in her hair. It's that connection to him that she's had with no one else that she wants to have again. Hand curl inside the flannel he wears and she tries to get as close as she can to him even if there is no space missing between them. ]

... What is it like? Wherever you went.

[ He knows it's not foolproof. The failsafe could fail. His memories have a good chance of failing, and the thought of that just makes his skin crawl. He doesn't want to forget Jesse. If he forgets everything else, everything about his life, the one thing he doesn't want to forget... the one person he can't forget is Jesse. Maybe it shouldn't be that way. Maybe Alice should still be in that spot.

She's still important to him too, even if their relationship is headed to its end, but somehow, Jesse landed in that spot without him really realizing it.

He shifts just slightly when she rests against him and a contented sigh escapes him, not even bothering to try and hold it back. It feels good to have her resting on him the way that she is, and instinctively, as if he's done it many times before, he begins stroking her hair in brief strokes that slowly grow longer. ]

What is it like? [ He pauses for a second before answering. ] Hard to explain. It's- shifting. Changing. Adapting to... anything, I think.

[ Another pause. ]

It feels... cold, like you're standing in a cold shower and can't leave. [ Or is it more like treading water in an ocean and the waves are about to pull you down? Maybe it's both. ]

[ The acceptance of the fact that Alan won't be coming with her still hurts. Knowing that once whatever they've found themselves involved with this time ends and he'll be gone again? It makes her lean more against him and hands curl further into his shirt. The content sigh reaches her ears. She's anything but content. It... it feels like there is a storm inside her that she can't stop.

What if I break before he comes home?

His fingers brush her hair down. Instantly, she feels a guilt rise inside her. How can he not feel the dirt in her hair? How long has it been since she properly showered, cleaned off, and felt like something other than a mess? The Arizona dust and dirt is probably evident on her clothes. It's been a handful of hours since she's eaten. All she can realize in that moment is how much of a mess she's become.

How out of control she's spun out since Polaris has gone away.

Dylan, her parents, Alan, Polaris.

Who is left to really be anything but a mess for?

I can't be like this anymore. I can't be this person. I don't... I don't like who this is. This isn't me. I'm not out of control. I'm not a mess.

She blinks a few times and rubs her cheek into his shirt. She needs to pull herself together. No more going to pieces around him.

The description he gives isn't something she really knows. It sounds like one thing she can recall. Maybe it won't help at all. ]

One of the doorways the slide projector took us to was... it was Neil's favorite place. You felt like you were floating and just aimlessly being. I didn't like it. I didn't like feeling I couldn't control it. When we came back from it? Everything around us had melted. [ A pause. ] It's not the same as some sort of ... water thing. But, maybe that helps?

[ He hates this, probably just as much as she does. He wants to come home, but he knows that he can't, not until everything's finished. Maybe there's a part of him that knew he jumped in over his head, literally, as soon as he did the deed. Maybe he had a terrible sinking feeling that he acted too rashly. But he could have all the sinking feelings in the world, and none of them would get him out again.

I'm not going to tell her that maybe I made a mistake. That wouldn't help, even if it's true... even if I'm- Nothing. It's not important.

He's not even sure why he's talking things out in his head; it's not going to change anything or do anything to ease his nerves. It won't help Jesse if she knows what's going through his mind.

He doesn't stop brushing her hair with his fingers, and even if he does notice the dirt in her hair, it doesn't bother him. He doesn't even stop to think about it. What's most important here is making her feel good. He's never been really great at soothing anyone, although maybe he wasn't totally hopeless at it when things were good between him and Alice, but Jesse hasn't pulled away from him. Maybe she likes how this feels. I hope she does, anyway.

He keeps up the motions even as the shifts more to rub her cheek into his shirt. ]

It sounds similar, but not similar at the same time. I- I think it feels like you've been detached... detached from yourself, or maybe it's more like it's easier for your thoughts to wander away from you. That part feels aimless. I wonder if the slide projector leads here too. Not that I want anyone looking into that.

[ Jesse, on the other hand, is firmly convinced that there isn't much to help her. She's been unable to find Dylan on her own--even contemplating going back to Bright Falls to face the government there. Make the take her in. At least, then, she might have a chance to find where they took her baby brother. What else is there left to try? She can't find a place to live or a job. Polaris is gone. Alan can't stay with her. The more she thinks on it, the more her options seem to be that it is the only road to walk. ]

I don't know if it does. It doesn't sound like the slides I burned. But... they took it when they took Dylan. Maybe there is a slide they have. [ Her head tilts into him for a moment. ] Maybe... maybe I should go back to Bright Falls. Turn myself in. It would be a more direct line to Dylan, maybe...

[ Jesse trails off as a knock comes to the door. Green eyes immediately snap to it. Her hands curl into his shirt for a moment before lowering so he can move to the door. Even if it's a Taken? He is the one that's armed. He is the one that can fight back. She can't even help like how she had before because Polaris is gone. ]

Uh... hey, Alan? You in there? [ The voice of Emma Sloan comes from the other side of the door. Alan should know the voice given the two loops he's been through for this story. ] I mean, I figure you are.

[ Alan quiets as Jesse talks, but he's listening to every word. He's not zoning out or tuning her out; he wouldn't, because she's important and so is what she says. So when she begins to theorize about returning to Bright Falls and turning herself in, he snaps to attention at once. ]

No. No, you won't do that. You can't. Even if it led you closer to your brother- I don't think it's a good idea. Finding your brother is a good idea. You giving yourself up to the police or a judge or whatever... no, I don't think you should do that. What if they- what if you never get out?

It's not my business and it's definitely not my place, but...

[ What if she finds Dylan but they both end up locked away forever? It's selfish, but what if I never get to talk to her again?

Alan's suddenly stormy thoughts get interrupted abruptly by a knock on the door. She lowers her hands, but he doesn't move right away, not even when the familiar voice sounds on the other side of the door.

He glances at Jesse, and then he glances back at the door. Of course he knows who she is, thanks to the loops. He should just get up and open the door, but then that means the end of this alone time with Jesse. Still, maybe Emma has something important to say.

He glances back at Jesse as if asking if she minds him getting up to open the door. ]

Yeah, give me a second. [ He decides he can at least acknowledge her while he waits for an indication either way from Jesse. He can always ask her to come back later. ]

But... [ "But", what?

She knows there is no good answer to give. No rebuttal. No retort. Alan is right. Frank Breaker was right. She can't give herself over to the government like that. It's giving up. How else can she find Dylan? How can she put herself on even footing against the government.

Her gaze moves to the door and back to Alan. A glance to the side says he should answer the door. She'd rather him stay with her, but, it seems his stories always have the opposite in mind. A brief nod is given to confirm the look. Hands rest on the bed and shoulders curl as she looks down at the floor.

Emma raises her head once the door opens. White tank top, jeans, and short blonde hair. She gives that dazed smile. "Supplements" have definitely helped. ] Hey, Alan. Look, uh I know you're going to head to the next place and whatever. But, I thought... you know, I'd point something out? Something this time around. I think. I mean, I'm not dead this time, so maybe it was there the other times? It just FEELS different. Everything. Look.

[ The mechanic half turns for Alan to look out over the small Motel courtyard. The darkness that seemed to oppress the area has lightened. The lights shine brighter. The night sounds can be heard including crickets.

Life, not darkness. ]

[ But maybe if she went to Bright Falls and turned herself in, I'd never see her again. Never talk to her again. That's not what I want, but it's really selfish to say that. I can't say that to her. What if turning herself in is the right thing to do, because it helps her find her brother? ]

But I shouldn't have an opinion here. Family comes first, and finding your brother is a lot more important than you getting mixed up in this. Turning yourself in could lead to you finding a bigger lead, and ultimately, getting your brother back.

The point is, don't worry about me, okay?

[ He moves to open the door and talk to Emma, but when he sees her, he stops before he says anything, eyes taking in her appearance and something like worry settling in his gaze. She seems all right, but he can't help but wonder. ]

Hey. What's up? [ He listens as she explains, and he glances outside and realizes that she's right. It's lighter now, and he can hear sounds that weren't there before, when the darkness seemed to grow thick and cover everything. Life seems to be coming back, a little at a time. ]

You're right, it is different. And- and for what it's worth, I'm glad you're- still here. Maybe you should go somewhere for awhile; lay low there until things settle down.

[ I hate this. I really actually hate this. I don't want to hurt people, but I keep doing it. Is it me, or is it the story? ]

I wish I had something to give you, something to pay you with. [ He glances back at Jesse, as if checking in on her at the same time. He feels like he needs to protect both of them, to keep both of them safe. ]

It could... or it could make everything worse. Breaker seemed to think that. [ Her eyes remain downturned, shifting side to side as if she is trying to determine what to do. What to even think is a good move. She'll have to confront the government at some point--won't she? In order to find her baby brother. ] I don't know.

[ She only casts one glance over at the door with Alan and Emma. No jealousy is in her gaze. Something more like understanding or awareness. More people are caught up in this story he's trying to write to get out. Or, does the story happen and he's along for the ride?

Does it matter either way? ]

Oh, yeah, totally. I'm definitely staying in the light this time. It just doesn't feel like those things are around again. I thought you should know. Like something beyond us wanted you to know. Look, I know that sounds crazy, but, this is all kind of crazy. [ Emma glances over Alan's shoulder to look in the room. She sees Jesse. It takes a moment, but then her eyes widen. ] Oh, hey! I know you! I mean, not know, but I've seen you around town... there was a town here right? Like around a park or something?

[ Jesse stands up immediately and moves further into the room. She quietly steps into the bathroom. The door shuts as silently as possible. Her head rests on the door. She doesn't want Alan to realize she has no place to live. He'll feel worse. That's not his fault. It's her own fault. She couldn't keep her mouth shut. ]

Sorry, uh... I didn't mean to say something bad. [ Emma apologizes gently. ] I've just seen her around. Before tonight. Moving place to place around town. I'm not sure she had somewhere to stay, because she never came here to the motel. I guess she's alright now though, if you're looking after her.

... Well, I don't want things to get worse for you. I want you to get what you need, so you get your brother back. If now isn't the right time for it, then don't do it. Maybe I'm just pulling ideas out of nowhere here, but maybe an opening for you to get in will come eventually. Maybe Polaris will help you find it.

[ He glances at Emma, listening to her explanation, and nodding as she goes along. ] If I had something to give you- supplies, a spare flashlight, something... I would. You just have to be safe, I guess. I mean, not "I guess", but you know what I mean.

[ He feels like people like them are just outmatched in a lot of ways. What do they have at their disposal? Guns? Flashlights? It doesn't seem like much when compared to literal darkness things that appear out of nowhere. ]

But thanks, I appreciate it. I think there's a lot of somethings that are beyond us, but not all of them are bad. Maybe this is one of the good ones.

[ His eyebrows lift at Emma's exclamation of knowing Jesse, and they lift some more when he sees Jesse stand up and leave. Did something hit a nerve? Did he upset her somehow?

He glances between Emma and the door that's now separating them, and he knows he looks confused by what just happened. ]

It's- I don't think you did anything wrong. I'm not sure if it's me looking after her or the other way around.

[ He pauses, because he feels obligated to ask: ] Do you have anyone looking after you? It's- well, I don't need to tell you about the dangers around here.

[ Her eyes narrow slightly as she looks to the side. Polaris is gone. Why would she come back and tell her anything? She's spent a year trying to reach out to her friend again. No answers, not even a hint if presence. Jesse truly is alone and has no idea how to handle it. Control it.

She needs to figure it out. She can't be a mess forever. She can't rely on others to fix that part of her. The room with the poster is empty save for her holding it in her hands, and nothing is coming out of the hole it hid. She can't cry, can't let it bother her anymore. Lock it all away.

Those are the thoughts running through her mind as she hides in the bathroom. Staring at herself in the mirror. Covered in dirt, dust from the desert, unwashed and unbrushed hair. A glance is spared at the door before she turns on the sink and scoops water over her face. Anything to try and look more like an actual person and not a disaster. She even runs her hands through her hair and tries to pull it back into a messy ponytail. It's not much, but it's something for now.

She can hear the muffled conversation between Alan and the other woman. Emma insists she'll be fine with the lights on and locking herself down. The darkness has pulled back, but she'll be cautious this time. She wishes him best of luck again and makes sure to inform him to care for Jesse once again.

"I'm pretty sure she's been living on the streets for awhile."

Jesse winces and feels the urge to want to crawl into herself and hide. She didn't want Alan to know. He can't do anything about it. Now, he'll feel worse and at fault. It's not his fault. She's the one who couldn't keep it together and got fired...

She opens the bathroom door once Emma leaves. She leans in the door frame, arms folded in front of her. Eyes looking down at the floor. It's obvious she's tried to wash up. Now, however, she has to deal with Alan wanting to ask a million questions about what's happened to her. ]

[ Alan continues conversing with Emma until the conversation comes to a natural end and she says goodbye and leaves. Once she's gone and the room is silent again, he turns back to the bathroom door, only to find that Jesse has opened it and is standing there leaning against the door frame.

Almost instantaneously, Alan takes a step closer to her, pausing at the last minute, not wishing to get too far into her space if she wants to put some distance between them.

Emma's words are still plain in his mind, but he doesn't want to make Jesse uncomfortable by bringing it up. ]

Hey. [ He smiles with an ease that he doesn't quite feel, knowing that she's been on the streets and living rough. He has an idea, but he wonders if she'll refuse, simply because she seems like the kind of person who doesn't want handouts. ]

Sorry that took a little while. Hopefully you weren't waiting too long.

[ Jesse shakes her head at his question that isn't entirely a question. ] No... I didn't. Even if I did, it's fine. She's wrapped up in this new story. It makes her more important.

[ Her tone isn't someone jealous or angry. Resigned seems to be more of what is echoing in it. Noting she doesn't have a place in whatever story Alan has found himself locked into. She is just a stop in the road. One that he might still deeply care about, but she is still ultimately just a stop on the journey. Just like she was merely a side character to help him in his goals last time. ]

If you have something you want to ask, Alan? Just do it. You'll... probably be moving onto the next thing soon.

[ Alan shakes his head immediately. No one in this story is more important than anyone else. They're all important, and he feels a strong compelling force telling him he needs to take care of them all, somehow.

They got dragged into this because of him, and so it's his responsibility to make sure they stay safe. ]

You're important too because you're in this story. It's my fault you're in this story, so I need to keep an eye on you.

[ He knows that's his responsibility, and while he's never been the most responsible, he knows what he needs to do now. ]

I'm sure it doesn't mean much, but you need a place to stay. I think... [ He has to pause and actually think before he finishes what he started to say. ] Alice moved out, but the apartment is still in our name. You could stay there, if you wanted.

[ Her eyebrows narrow. Did he? She is the one that insisted on seeing him. The one that broke down. He could have left her there in the park. She instigated her insertion into the story this time. Not the other way around. ]

It's not you're fault I'm here. I insisted. [ Her heart tilts to the side again with a frown on her face. Eyes drift away. ] I wasn't supposed to be here.

[ It's clear then that the walls her older self he once met are beginning to form. Not to keep him out, but to separate herself from things. Protect herself. Make it so she can continue with what she has tasked herself to do on her path.

He's still invited in. She hasn't shut him out.

Just resigned that he won't be coming home.

At his last remark, she pauses. Looks up at him. ]

Alice moved out? Why? [ How does he know? Wouldn't it be weird to have me live there then... ]

You insisted, but you're still part of this. You're still caught up in this because of me. Because I pull people in somehow. Maybe you can pull yourself out again. It's- it's safer if you're not involved. I want you here; I like having you here, but it's dangerous for you.

You could get hurt, or worse.

[ Maybe those walls that she's putting up to try and protect herself will protect her from the dangers of the story. Alan doubts that that'll be enough, but he can still hope. If it's not enough, then he might be forced to push her out for her own safety.

Something tells him she won't appreciate that. ]

It wasn't too long after we started heading for divorce. She didn't want to live with me anymore, understandably. The apartment we shared... it's in both of our names, so she could have stayed. She could have told me to go. I don't really know why she chose to leave.

Maybe someone can sign the apartment over to you. We own it, so maybe that would work. At least it would be a place for you to live in.

[ Her gaze narrows slightly. ] I could get hurt?

[ That's happened already. Just not in the way he means it.

He left her behind.

Jesse looks downwards again. A frown on her face. Living in his old apartment without him? She can't imagine what that would be like. The things all around that would show how it was the home he and Alice Wake shares. The apartment filled with their relationship and history. Every corner of it...

Her frown sets more. ]

I'd rather live there with you. [ It couldn't feel like my place without him. Otherwise, I'm just stepping into their relationship. Their space. I know that's not how he sees it.

She glances to the other side. ] I'll make something work.

[ Her eyes quickly flick up to his then down once more. ]

What about the coffee date?

Hurt, killed... I don't want that to happen to you. [ This story is a monster. People have already gotten hurt because of it. I won't let her get hurt too. ]

I know, and I want that too. We'll get that one day, when the story ends. When it's over, I'll come home. [ If she's still waiting. If she wants to wait for me. I can't ask her to do that, but either way, I'll come back. ]

What if you talked to Barry? He has connections and he could figure out something. What if I write a letter with instructions for him? That could work. He knows me, and he knows... well, he knows I do things spur of the moment sometimes. He'd do it if I asked.

[ He pauses for just a second, and then he remembers. ] Yeah, I owe you a coffee date. Several coffee dates.

[ He reaches for her again, fingers stretching out to touch her hair. He wants to ask something; he wants to suggest something that they can do together, but he's realizing he's not sure how to ask it in a way that won't offend her. ]

I had an idea, but I know it's going to sound weird.

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