oceanview (different path) || ❝ turn the page i need to see something new. ❞

[outlierdirector]

a different path,
the same road.

When I thought that I fought this war alone
You were there by my side on the frontline
When I thought that I fought without a cause
You gave me a reason to try CODE BY TESSISAMESS

Comments

[crazyisinevitable]

[ He doesn't respond right away; one hand keeps making circles on her back, traveling in a wider circle to get more of the soap spread around, but his main focus is on making her feel good. The hand at her breast stays there, but his fingers spread out as if they want to explore an area that can't be touched except in private moments like this one. ]

Well, I think it's already written. Or parts of it are. I'm not sure if it's completely finished, you know, with a beginning, middle, and end. I think I can still make changes to it.

But...

[ His frown returns and his brow furrows and his head dips lower although he doesn't stop touching her. ]

What's the point in making changes if I don't know what's going to get me out of this story?

[ A proverbial wall has been built, and Alan doesn't know how to get around it. What kind of equally proverbial explosive can he use to break down the wall? How does he fight a story that seems to be as alive as any ordinary person? The story isn't ordinary; it's powerful, maybe even more powerful than Alan who's still trying to figure out what he can do. ]

Sorry, I know that doesn't answer the question. But I think I need to change the story in just the right way to let me come home. How I'm supposed to do that, I'm still figuring out.

[ He stops then as a sudden overwhelming urge to just be done with this story rises from out of nowhere. I just want to go home. I've written so much...

It feels foreign somehow, as if the emotion doesn't belong to him. It's coming from far away, maybe even from someone else. ]

I'm going to figure this out. [ He doesn't bother hiding the note of determination in his voice, because why should he? ]

[outlierdirector]

[ Jesse listens carefully, doing her best to ignore the way she shudders under his touch as his hands spread in exploration. Not that the touches are unwanted. It's simply clear that his mind is elsewhere and trying to solve an illusive puzzle. Touching her is simply something idle that he's doing as his mind moves almost faster than she can keep up.

She's not a writer or a creative person. She... she's not sure what she is, other than someone stubborn. Determined. Someone who finds a way to make what she wants happen. Even if it feels as if she's forgotten how to be that way. Did losing Polaris really make her forget how to be Jesse Faden?

Jesse turns then. Her arms raise, draping over his shoulders and around his neck. Green eyes immediately find his. They've lost that shimmer--that light--they seemed to have before, but she's still her. How her body has started to react to his touches is rather obvious now, but she does her best not to focus on that. She can feel the suds roll down her back with the water hitting it now. ]

You brought me here by changing the story. Didn't you? [ « Did he do that with "Departure" too? Did he somehow know I was there with you, and that's how we ended up... » ] That means changing it means something. It's worth something. Changing one thing might change more things.

[ She's trying to help even though her knowledge of writing is limited. ]

We'll figure it out. Together. Just like last time. Except, this time, you won't leave me behind. [ Her gaze narrows slightly. No room for argument in this. ] What do you need me to do to help?

[crazyisinevitable]

[ He might be thinking aloud as he touches her, but that doesn't mean his touches are just something he's doing automatically or absent-mindedly. He wishes he could just be there with her and not have to worry about this insane story and what he needs to do to get out of it.

Maybe he needs to find his own sense of stubbornness and determination again and use that to find out what the hell he has to do to finish this story and get back home. Oh, that determination is still there somewhere, but it feels like he's losing his grip on it. It's not something he noticed right away, but he finds himself having moments of second-guessing, and he hates that. He wants to just write what he has to write and get out of this mess already.

She moves then, putting her arms over his shoulders and around his neck, and he stills, leaning into her touch. His eyes lock onto hers in return, and he finds himself thinking about how great she looks. "Great" doesn't begin to cover it, but everything about her just draws him in. He pauses for a moment, wondering where else he should wash for her. Where would she want him to focus on?

Nothing immediately comes to mind, so he settles on moving both hands to her shoulders and lightly rubbing his hands against her shoulder blades. Giving her a massage might not have been in his plans at first, but it just seems like the natural progression of things. ]

Yeah... or something like that. This story's insane, I'm probably insane too, or at least insane-sounding. But you're not running for the hills yelling about an escaped insane person, so... Uh. [ If he wasn't absorbed in massaging her, he'd rub the back of his head awkwardly. ] You honestly don't think it's weird how I brought you in? But- changing it does mean something. It's worth something, because it's how I'll get home. To- well, to you, if... you know.

[ Alan suddenly feels awkward, maybe even a little shy, and that's strange for him. He's not a shy person by any means, but he feels a little of that now. ]

I don't want to leave you behind. I never wanted to leave you behind. You know that, right?

[ He rubs his hands more against her shoulders, making small circular motions as he tries to figure out what he needs and how she could help. Part of him recoils from the idea, because what if she gets a target on her back because of him? Who knows what the story would do with her? It would be his fault, whatever it is. ]

I don't know what I need. I- I'm sure you can help somehow, but it's the "how" of that that I'm still figuring out. It's not as simple as punching a hole in the universe or reality or whatever this is and getting out that way.

... Maybe just having you along for the ride is helpful enough.

[outlierdirector]

( cont here )