synthneon | oceanview (different path) || ❝ turn the page i need to see something new. ❞

[ Do they truly need a nudge? They've only known each other for a day and a half. Maybe this is all just in their heads. Some sort of echo or imprint from some other place trying to overlap onto them. Maybe it doesn't belong and that's why it all feels impossibly hard to even consider there could be more. It might just not be how their reality is meant to be.

That's wrong.

All of it feels wrong. Just like the rest of the world does. What feels right is Polaris, whats happening in Bright Falls and back in Ordinary, even talking with another version of Alan on the phone. They're all connected and feel connected. Jesse wouldn't phrase it as "soul mates" or something as corny as a romance novel. She would say there's some sort of strong connection. Some sort of gravitational pull that her defensive walls are trying to block.

« It has to be that. How else would another version of him call us...? »

Polaris shifts and perhaps even Alan can feel it over the call. ]

I'll be fine. I'm fine. [ She pauses to try and brush the tears off with her sleeve. ] ...thanks, though.

[ « It means a lot. »

Jesse swallows again. ] I'm not--he... we barely know each other. You can't be important to someone you just met.

[ « Can you? What if we are? » ]

What advice?

[ Maybe they don't. Maybe Alan's wrong. He doesn't think of himself as some all-knowing individual just because he's seen some things. He can't even be sure what the differences are in this timeline, other than the fact that Jesse and Alan have met much earlier than he and his Jesse did in their timeline.

But what he's gathered from listening to Jesse is that the version of himself here is still very much lost and trying to make sense of the insanity of a world with powerful otherworldly presences, and that's where he sort of feels he might be able to help. Well, that and he can't shake the feeling that Alan and Jesse need each other and can help each other. ]

I know you will. [ He smiles, and he hopes the tone carries over into his words. ] You're tough, but I still wish I could be there in person to encourage you myself.

About that- you can be important if there's the right connection. And maybe I'm wrong, but I think you two have that connection.

[ At the last minute, he decides to offer a different kind of advice. ]

I know you don't know him well yet, but- my advice is, just give him a chance. Try telling him something about what you know, and see what he does.

[ Alan himself was very lost in his time in Bright Falls. Neither Jesse would know it. He had no guiding star or need for it, as the road map of "Departure" was clear enough. However, Alan and Alice were still married and attempting to work through their issues. This Alan and Alice have seemingly agreed to part ways, but, there is still love between them. That fact alone may be making it as complicated as it is.

His smile comes through but it makes her feel an odd sense of longing. Not that she would say she misses this Alan or is even in love with him. More just another realization of how lonely and cut off from others she's become. ]

You're doing enough.

[ She quiets for a moment before raising her head slightly. Her nose presses into her knees. ] What should I tell him?

[ Perhaps they're both lost in their own way. Alan is still trying to find his way home even though the story part of things might have ended, but he's still not out. Maybe he never will be, although that's a possibility he doesn't like to think about.

As for Alice, even now it still remains complicated for Alan. He imagines it's just as complicated for this other version of himself. ]

Am I? It never feels like I am. But never mind- what you should tell him... There's a few things you could say. You could tell him about yourself, about your friend... Maybe let him in and he'll let you in.

Talking and listening is more than enough.

[ « No one listens to me when I do. I know... I know the Alan Wake here said he listened. Listening and believing are different. I don't know how much he really believes in it. He may just... go back after all this. Despite what the Alan on the phone says. »

She shakes her head lightly at herself. Going in circles mentally in her mind won't do anything. What else can she do? She and Polaris can't stop or beat whatever this story is. They're not the main characters. It all revolves around Alan and the Dark Presence. ]

I... parts about Ordinary slipped out. [ She curls up slightly. ] I don't--I'm not sure how much he actually believed it. I know he said he does. But... people always say things.

You know, I've heard that before, or something similar to it. I think the you from my timeline said something like that to me once. [ Again, a smile is clear in his voice, but at the same time, he wonders if maybe he should talk less about his experiences in case it makes her feel bad. ]

Well, that's a start. And for what it's worth, I'm a lot of things. Sometimes a jerk, but mostly an asshole. But I don't just say things. I say what I mean, most of the time. I don't think I could do anything different in any timeline.

And, depending on just how many crazy things he's seen already, I'm betting his threshold for crazy is starting to develop. It might take time, but he'll probably become more open to things that the people who still see a poster on the wall label as crazy. I know that's how it went for me.

She's me, right? We're going to think the same things. Say them if... we think it's worth saying. [ Her eyes close for a moment. ] You--neither of you--really know what it's like. You shouldn't. No one else should have to go through what we did. She'll do anything to make sure you don't feel the way she did. That I do.

[ Her chin rests on her knees as her posture relaxes somewhat while talking to him. It really would be easier if she could be jealous of herself. Instead, that feeling of longing just builds inside her. Polaris shifts around her to try and be of some comfort, but, it does very little to help. ]

"Most of the time"? [ The faintest hint of teasing is in her own voice. Something that should be familiar to the Alan on the phone.

Jesse glances to the side before biting on her lip. ] When... when you get back to her. From, wherever you are, are you--

[ Click.

Jesse sits there as the familiar sound of a line being cut echoes through the handheld of the phone. Her mind doesn't even think of the possibility that Alan purposely cut the line. Why would he? Nothing in their conversation would imply it. Something else interfered. Maybe the distance of the call, maybe because she's not his Jesse.

Maybe because she has yet to become the receiver her future self is. Not that she would know that.

All that her mind focuses on is the near consuming loneliness that settles in on her instantly. The remembering of where she is, why she's there, and the fact the man on the phone is realities away most likely. She wasn't even the one he meant to call. ]

--Alan?

[ There's no response.

She slowly pulls the phone away from her ear and stares down at it. A fresh wave of tears roll down her cheeks before she reaches up and sets the phone back where it belongs. She blinks a few times, brushing off her cheeks with the palms of her hands. A whimper finally makes its way out before she forces the emotions back inside. Deep where no one can see them.

Then, Jesse curls back up and closes her eyes. Forehead rests on her arms. At least a few hours of sleep well help while the Alan Wake she knows is waiting for the kidnapper.

Somewhere else, a very dark place, Polaris brushes the mind of the Writer. A reassuring gesture. The younger Faden will be alright in the end.

The day stretches on. The time the kidnapper had said to meet comes, goes, then passes along into the early hours of the evening.

A no show.

Jesse is startled awake by a large crash. Something falling and hitting another thing. She immediately stands up from the hiding place she had taken in the desk and looks around. The car they used to get here is still there, but there's no sign of anyone else. She frowns, brushing at her face again one more time before making her way out of the museum portion of the mine. Green eyes move up towards the second floor where Alan had disappeared that morning.

The door opens and Alan steps out with the backpack she had given him that has the manuscript pages.

There's no sign of the kidnapper.

Her head tilts slightly as she waits by the car for him. ]

[ Alan just makes a humming kind of sound by way of agreeing with her. She's right, of course. At the center of it all, both Jesses are the same, at least when it comes to how they express themselves and when. ]

You're right, I don't know. And I feel the same way that I did when I told my Jesse about how I felt. You shouldn't have had to go through that, especially not at that age. At any age, that's terrible. But- [ He really hates thinking of a kid going through something that big and that difficult on their own. An adult probably wouldn't have handled it any better. Alan knows he really didn't, and he didn't even lose his entire family. ]

Yeah, most of the time. [ He's not perfect, and he tells white lies like everyone else. But there's some things that just have to be said, sometimes too bluntly. ]

Am I w- [ He doesn't get to finish that question, as on his end of the call, nothing but static can be heard, drowning out Jesse's voice. ]

Jesse? Jesse, I- Shit. [ That wasn't how he wanted the call to end, but it seems that something decided that's just how it's going to be. In the Writer's Room, Alan just flops back into the chair and sits there quietly for a moment. Maybe he'll try again. Maybe he won't. It'll probably always end the same way, but that's not going to stop him from trying. It just won't be right away.

He sits there in silence until he feels that brush against his mind, that feeling that he knows so well. And then, after a second, he smiles. It's not much, but it's enough.

Meanwhile, the Alan from this reality isn't smiling at all. The kidnapper didn't show, and the meeting that Alan and Jesse came all this way for was a bust. He doesn't look happy, frustration clear on his face, as he stomps his way over to Jesse. Back to square one.

When he reaches the car, he tries to force some of the frustration off his face. It's not her fault this didn't go how he wanted. ]

Hey. Sorry I made you wait. Are- [ She looks like she's had it rough. Maybe there's traces of tears or something that tips Alan off. ] Are you okay?

[ Jesse's attention fully focuses on Alan as he approaches her. There is a look of amusement in her eyes at how he's stomping around. Not that she blames him. She'd be just as angry as he is. This kidnapper--well, story--is pulling him from one place to another.

At his question she raises her hand and rubs at her cheeks again with her sleeve.

« Shit, he wasn't supposed to notice. » ]

Y-yeah. I'm just... working through it. [ She knows it's not the entire truth. But, she doubts he'd react well to knowing she was talking to another version of him on the phone from the future. That might be asking too much of him to understand.

She glances up at the sky that threatens to end in a sunset. ] So... now what do we do? Maybe the pages sa--

[ She's cut off by a ringing. Her heart beats for a moment, but realizes there'd be no reason or probably way that the Alan on the phone would be calling again. Especially since it's Alan's phone that's ringing.

Jesse gently takes the backpack from him so he can answer the call. She shifts her weight side to side before leaning back against the truck. ]

Wake! [ An unknown voice to Jesse can be heard over the phone. Alan would recongize it as the kidnapper. ] Change of plans. You know where Mirror Peak is? The big mountain north of where you are. You follow the path from the mine and you can't miss it. There's a look out point there. I'll be waiting.

[ Jesse frowns with her eyebrows knitting.

« What is this, a goose chase? » ]

[ Weirdly enough, suddenly Alan finds himself momentarily more interested in making sure that Jesse is all right than he is being jerked around by the kidnapper and the story. ]

Well, hey, you helped me get this far. It's only right that I help you with something. What about coffee or something? It's not much, but- I owe you.

[ He waits for her response, but before he can hear it, they're both interrupted by the sound of a ringing phone. He answers it immediately, putting it on speaker so that Jesse can hear it too, and as he listens, his expression turns angry. Well, angrier. Eventually, the call ends and Alan just growls under his breath. ]

Is this really all worth it? How do I even know that Alice is in danger? I know, I shouldn't risk it in case she is, but- I hate being jerked around like this. What do you think about this?

[ There's a part of Alan that still wants to stop for coffee, but with the words of the kidnapper still hanging in the air, that's probably the last thing they should be doing. ]

[ Jesse blinks a few times. Before hee answer can even formulate, the call has come through.

I'm through being perked around by you--

You wanna see your wife alive? 'Cause if you do, you better watch what you say to me. Do we understand each other?

I want to talk to Alice.

Yeah, and I want the manuscript. Don't keep me waiting, Wake.

The call cuts.

Jesse looks from the phone back up to Alan. A glance to the side as she debates if she should really share what thoughts she has on the situation. The Alan she spoke to insisted she simply trust the Alan she has in front of her. Open up.

« That's... easier said than done. »

She looks down before looking back up at him. ]

I think... it's obvious this is a story. It feels like the plot of a B rated horror movie. [ She pauses. ] But, it's what's happening around us. It wants to become what's real to us. So... we have to play along. For now.

Just, keeping in mind it's not our reality. It's not true--but wants to become real and true.

Maybe your wife is in danger because the story is trying to become real. [ She shakes her head slightly. ] We follow what your manuscript pages say. See if we can change anything.

[ She glances down, then up at him almost shyly. ]

And, once you're not America's Most Wanted? We can go for coffee.

Edited 2024-02-01 10:48 (UTC)

[ Alan freezes too when he hears the call coming through and the words that are being said. It does nothing to ease his frustration; if anything, it only makes it grow. He really does feel like nothing more than a pawn in a story that he can't control, only follow, when the last thing he wants to do is blindly follow something leading him somewhere he can't even see. ]

Yeah, it's obvious. Too obvious, and I hate it. I don't want to just follow it where it says to go, even if that's obviously what I have to do. I know I don't want it to become real or true, and I can't let the story become real. Whatever's going on with me and Alice, it can't have her. Or you. Because you're involved too, now.

[ Maybe it's the frustration talking, but Alan's resolve is clear. ]

We'll change the story. We'll stop the story, because we have to. Because I have to. And I'm getting you that coffee. Now, I guess we have to find our way to Mirror Peak.

Edited 2024-02-02 05:54 (UTC)

[ Jesse nods to his resolve. She's almost taken back by how sudden it is after how lost and frustrated he's been since she met him a day ago. But, it fits him somehow. She even smiles slightly when he looks away. Being resolved and determined is a good look on him.

« I shouldn't think like that. He's still married to his wife. Even if I... »

Her hands curl around the handle of her backpack for a moment. ]

That means we need to find the ending and change it then. [ She pauses. ] Have you remembered anything about writing the story yet?

[ Jesse then takes the step up to him. The backpack goes back on her back, one hand takes the flashlight back out. She hesitates for a brief second. Then, her other hand reaches out and slides around his. Fingers curl and his to hold, but, they never slide between his like the dream he had. At least, it seems she's holding back from more than what she's already done. ]

Mirror's Peak is northeast of us. It's near Cauldron Lake.

[ To be fair, it surprises him too. He's not even sure where it's coming from, only that he feels the time has come for him to stop being confused and passive and actually charge into whatever the hell this is head on. Even so, he has a feeling that maybe everything about this could go wrong, that he'll make the situation worse somehow. But it's not going to fix itself. He can't just pretend that nothing's happening. ]

Yeah. Yeah, that's what we need to do. I don't know how the hell we're going to do that, because... no, I don't remember anything about the story. [ He pounds the side of his head once with his hand, as if the action will jar loose his memories. ] I don't get it. I don't forget things, not like this. [ Why is this happening? ]

I- [ He starts to say something else to express more of his frustration, but then he feels her slide her hand towards him until their hands are touching. Fingers curl around his, and instinctively, almost as if something is telling him this is the right thing to do, he slides his fingers between hers and he smiles: a wide smile, the closest thing to a happy one that he's worn since this whole thing started. ]

Well, I guess we're in for a bit of a hike. You don't mind, do you?

[ Jesse's small smile stays in place as he looks at her. That determination and motivation to move forward despite the fear. It must be what attracted the version of herself the other Alan knows. Simply because it's what she finds so attractive at the moment.

That and Alan Wake is just a very attractive man in general.

She has no idea what truly endeared her other self to Alan. Perhaps she will understand when she feels she can let down all her walls and let him in. ]

Then, we'll figure it out. Hitting your head probably isn't going to help. [ Jesse smile widens slightly. ] There has to be a reason you can't remember. We'll figure it out.

[ Her smile only falters when he pauses. His fingers slide between hers and something clicks. Almost like a puzzle piece sliding into place. Her hand immediately tightens around his and her green eyes lock onto his gray ones for the first time since they've met.

That gravitational pull intensifies. Something inside her wants to pull closer. She doesn't quite understand it, but the phrase grow brighter comes to mind. She simply dismisses the idea for now and tightens her hold on his hand. ]

I'm fine to hike. [ A small smirk. ] Are you, Alan?

[ That's one of the weird things about Alan. He just thinks of himself as another guy; a well-known writer, sure. And he knows he has his fans, groupies, and other things like that, but he still just thinks of himself as someone who wanted to write. Outwardly, he might act like he has the confidence and swagger of famous individuals that women fawn over, but inwardly, he's more complicated.

He attracted Alice at one point, but that was before their marriage hit the rocks. Maybe he just fooled himself into thinking he was attractive. ]

Yeah. General rule of thumb: try not to hit your head on anything. [ He purposefully plays up the deadpan tone in an attempt to be humorous. Whether or not it works remains to be seen. ] Amnesia isn't fun.

[ He's feeling a similar pull towards her even though he barely understands why. She pulls him in, makes him want to stick with her, not letting her go. Why? He doesn't know. She's important somehow, and some instinct is telling him that it's in his best interests to stay with her as long as he can. Maybe even past that. ]

I'm good to go. [ I know I'm not a hiker. I'm not an outdoors guy. But I don't have a choice, I have to handle this. I can handle this. ] Why, you think I'm not?

[ Wait a second... When did she...? ]

When did you start calling me Alan? I'm just curious. [ And he tries his best to make his tone sound curious, not accusatory or anything but pleasantly surprised. ]

Edited 2024-02-04 07:19 (UTC)

[ If he ever asked--not that he would--she would say he is attractive. He's a normal person, and to someone like her? That's attractive. So much so she still can't fathom why he would even look at her.

« Crazy Jesse Faden. »

A huff of a laugh leaves her. ]

I'll keep the life advice in mind from the nior thriller writer. [ She smiles, but the expression is more in her eyes. ] Yeah. I don't think it would be.

You couldn't jog your way to the light without wheezing last night. [ She takes a half-step forward but stops when he asks his question. A pause is visible before turning to look at him. ] I'll stop. If it's not okay.

[ His name just slipped out naturally. It's not because of the conversation with the Alan on the phone. No, that can't be it. This is because of that feeling of the puzzle piece sliding into place. It just feels natural to hold his hand and to say his first name.

The half-step forward becomes the half-step towards him. Green eyes never leave his gray colored ones. Her heart feels like it's beating a million miles a minute. Following that pull would mean another step closer to him--right into his space and practically against him. She wants to... but she doesn't.

« What if it's not what he wants? » ]

Edited 2024-02-04 17:56 (UTC)

[ Why would he look at her? For him, it's easy. She's unlike anyone he's met before, and he wants to get to know her better. Obviously the timing is wrong for it, but a part of him still wants that coffee date with her: a date that's not a date, just a chance to talk to each other. ]

I know, life advice from me is something to take with a grain of salt, because... [ He waves his hand because he knows he doesn't really have much of his life together. ]

You just had to point that out, huh? But I don't have a choice, there's no driving up there, so I just have to deal with it.

[ He smiles at her, and it's a warm one. Genuine. ]

It's fine. I like it.

[ He can't explain where this gravitational pull is coming from or why it's so strong. Her green eyes pull him in and he doesn't want to resist.

Why do I feel complete with her? I barely know her, and she barely knows me.

And yet some force is compelling him to step closer to her too, to meet her in the middle. She's in his space and he's in hers and it doesn't feel wrong or strange in the least. In a way, it feels like a reunion, but that makes no sense to him either. Something inside him is resonating with her though, and that feeling of completion only grows stronger.

His hand slides around her waist but he doesn't pull her in, because he imagines she'll resist as soon as she feels his touch. ]

[ She has spent the majority of her life so far trying not to be noticed. After Ordinary. Any time someone does notice her either sets alarm bells off in her mind or confuses her as to why they'd notice her. Alan falls into the second category, but, it feels much more complicated than that.

The smirk stays on her face and she hopes he realizes she's trying to joke. Lighten the mood. ] I meant more because a writer versus someone who has spent as much time as she can going through life unnoticed.

[ « Not that being nineteen is a lot of time compared to him... » ]

Maybe pointing it out acts as motivation? Show the crazy girl she's wrong.

[ « It's not like others haven't before. »

She nods. ] Okay. Alan it is.

[ He steps into her space and Jesse feels as if time has just stopped all together. Her breath catches in her throat and her gaze keeps staring into his. That force inside her, from deep down, wants to push her to close what little gap there is. Except, she doesn't know what that force is. She doesn't know if she can trust it. Why is it there? Why is it insisting on going to Alan? Is that why Polaris told her to be here in Bright Falls?

Other than the fact that whatever is pursuing Alan--this Dark Presence--seems to be her enemy.

If Alan had been anyone else, she would have freezes and pulled away the moment she felt their arm around her. Alan Wake isn't just anyone else--even if she isn't sure what that means entirely. Other than he's someone special and the Alan on the phone insisted they had a connection.

« Is... this what he meant? The other Alan. »

She moves as if he did pull her close. She rests entirely into his space then, heart pounding, eyes searching his to try and see what he'll do next. Should she do something? She's inexperienced in all this. Why is she even thinking about it in terms of a relationship? They just met, he's still legally married and there to save his wife...

The pull doesn't seem to care much about the logic or rules. It wants to be closer, to make itself louder, be the only thing that's driving her in that moment. She doesn't give into it. Not yet.

« How can I trust it? » ]

[ Alan's finding himself caught between opening up more of himself to her in the sense of letting her see past the famous writer mask and assuming she doesn't want to see past said mask. Why would she, anyway? If not for that strange compelling force pushing him to get closer to her, he wouldn't have dared touch her like he did. He can't imagine why she'd ever be interested in knowing more about him. ]

Yeah, well, this writer hasn't seen as much of the world as you'd think, if that's what you're expecting. Not for lack of wanting to, of course, just- a lot of things got in the way.

[ He laughs and smirks a little, as if to indicate that he knows she's joking. He appreciates the attempt at lightening the mood. ]

If I had a fitness coach, they'd probably say the same thing. So, uh, here's to motivation? And for what it's worth, I don't think you're crazy, if I haven't said that before. If you are, well, then so am I, which means we should definitely stick together.

[ That pull is still tugging at him, and he's decided he's done resisting. It wants him to get closer to her, and whether or not it's wise, he's realized he wants that too. Maybe somehow, the two of them can help each other. They've gotten this far together, but maybe there's more to it than that.

They seem to share a common enemy, but is that all that they have in common? Alan really wants to find out more. As for what he'll do next, even he's not sure. He pulled her close because it felt right, but now what does he do? His eyes are still locked on hers, but he has no idea what he's supposed to do now.

Wait. Maybe what he's supposed to do is find out if she's feeling anything like what he's feeling. ]

Uh. This is going to sound crazy, but- Well, I'm crazy too, I guess. Did you feel something just now? Something unexpected?

[ They both seem unwilling to trust others, but, also searching for someone to trust. That could be simply her projecting. He may want to know nothing more about the weirdness of the world that she knows. Except, he invited her on a date. Sort of. Not really a date, but, Jesse finds herself hoping it would be a date. ]

I've only seen pieces of it. Like snap shots. I could show you them. [ She pauses. ] If you'd want to see them, I mean. You... you're probably going to go back home after this.

[ « Back to his wife. »

She laughs slightly at his next comments. She doesn't quite believe him at not being crazy. Rather, the notion he wouldn't think she isn't crazy. Everyone else thinks it. There's no reason he shouldn't as well. Even if he is apart of this insanity of an event.

A nod. Her jean jacket shifts against his arm. She isn't fully aware that she has leaned against him and slightly forward. Her free hand raises to rest on his elbow, only aware of it when she feels the elbow patch at the tip of her fingers. That want and need to further move closer to her is tugging at her, but she's still hesitating at the last moment.

« What if he doesn't want it? I don't really know what "it" even is. Whatever this connection is the other Alan talked about. Is it really this? » ]

Yeah. I do.

[ Even with trusting someone and letting them in, there's always strings attached. Conditions. Expectations. Alan's seen enough of that with his dabbles with fame. It's part and parcel of the whole process, but that doesn't mean he likes it. Maybe somehow, Jesse's less complicated. Maybe she doesn't come with as many strings. Alice didn't, not really, and he'd even go as far as to say she still doesn't, even with the divorce proceedings and all that that involves. ]

Yeah? You would? [ He can't help but smile and feel curious at the same time. ] I'd like to see them. I don't know what I'll be doing after this. [ I wish that I didn't have this insanity with the kidnapper and manuscript pages and whatever the hell is going on. I wish that we could just sit down for a cup of coffee and talk.

His reaction to her touching his arm and leaning in is immediate. His hand at her waist shifts to touch her back, and he gives an experimental pull, still expecting her to pull back. They're closer together now, and the thought enters his mind that he could kiss her. He wants to, he feels that attraction pulling him in, and he doesn't want to resist it. ]

I don't know what it is, but it doesn't feel bad. [ His face is in front of hers now, and he could close the gap between them if he wanted to, so why is he hesitating?

Is this really what I should be doing? ]

[ Her strings would be related to her past. Needing to find her brother. Struggling to let people in. She figures no one wants to deal with it. No one really has wanted to. Foster parents were understanding to a degree, but, it was obvious she never really fit in. Either the foster families refused to hear a word, or they overly compensated for trying to make her feel normal.

« People can't make me feel normal. I'm not normal. I talk to YOU all the time. Even when you don't answer. I know what my "normal" is. They can't accept it. No one has been able to. Why would he be the first? I don't understand. Why... »

Polaris shifts.

« I don't understand what you mean, Polaris. I don't understand any of this. Should I trust this feeling inside me? I don't even understand why I have it. You brought me here to deal with this enemy of yours--right? So, why, do I feel so drawn to him? Is it you? Are you the one drawn to him and I'm just here? »

Polaris shifts again.

Jesse knows. She just doesn't understand how it can be from herself. Why would it be? ]

It... it's not a lot of places. Foster homes in certain cities. That sort of thing. But, we could still visit them. [ She wants to show him how weird things are all over the world. It's how it really is. Not just here in Bright Falls or in Ordinary. ] Why wouldn't you go back home?

[ Jesse moves as he directs her. The hand on her back sends a shiver unexpectedly up her spine. Her heart skips a beat as he leans in, but doesn't move closer. A part of her feels so frustrated he won't move further. ]

I don't--I don't know either. [ Her eyes drop to his mouth for the briefest of seconds. Then, they are back to staring into his own. The gray that seems to shift almost like waves. ] It's not the story.

[ That much she can say with certainty. This pull doesn't come from somewhere external but internally. ]

Edited 2024-02-05 23:30 (UTC)

[ Her strings make sense, given her history, her background. Maybe Alan's make no sense at all. Maybe he shouldn't have issues with people who come with strings attached. Did Alice come with strings attached? Did she have an agenda? Alan's brow furrows as he tries to think briefly about what changed between them. Maybe they just grew apart. Maybe something about Jesse attracts him because she just thinks of herself as someone no one wants to deal with. Alan can't explain it because he barely understands it himself, but maybe he wants to deal with her, however that ends up looking.

His mind creates an image for him, an image of the two of them traveling together. Walking together. He can't tell where they are, but maybe the location isn't the point. Maybe the point is that they're together. He doesn't question the image, because, well, it's not the first time he's had one like it. Sometimes his mind just creates pictures of things, and he can't really explain where they come from. This one feels different, though. It's the first time in awhile that the image he's seen has someone in it who's still nearby.

But she's said something that causes him to pause. ]

... Foster homes? You were in foster homes because all the adults disappeared from your town. [ He remembers her telling him that when she told him about Ordinary, the town she came from. ] We don't have to visit them if you don't want to, if that's- well, unpleasant for you. [ The stories he's heard about foster homes and people who've been in them aren't always good. He doesn't want to be the reason she digs up old memories. ]

Well, Alice and I own an apartment together. I don't know who's going to end up with it.

[ Maybe he shouldn't be doing this. Maybe it's wrong of him. He's still legally married, and of course he's aware of that, but the attraction is too strong for him to resist. ]

If it's not the story, then... [ Is it her? Is it me? Both of us? Does she want this too? ]

Is this okay? With you, I mean.

[ She blinks once only because it seems he's far away for a moment. Her head tilts ever so slightly to the side. He hasn't gone away. It's more as if something has captured his attention in his mind. She wonders what it is. He's a writer, so, he must see plenty of creative things that he'd never share with others.

« Maybe one day he'd share with me... he shouldn't. He's married. »

Once he comes back to her, she nods slightly. ]

Yeah. A few of them. I... didn't stay in one place long. I don't stay in places long. [ There's no reason to stay and make roots. They'll find her like they found her and Dylan before. She has to find Dylan. She can't trust people to not tell the government. ] Some places are okay. Most of them are just... not worth seeing. Nothing that could inspire a big time writer.

[ She almost asks if he still lives with his wife. At the last moment she stops herself. It's none of her business. Alan's life with his wife isn't a place she belongs in. She shouldn't even be in this situation with him. Everything in her tells her otherwise.

As if to answer his question, she leans further into him. It may not be okay, but, it's still what she wants. ]

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