synthneon | oceanview (different path) || ❝ turn the page i need to see something new. ❞

[ She blinks once only because it seems he's far away for a moment. Her head tilts ever so slightly to the side. He hasn't gone away. It's more as if something has captured his attention in his mind. She wonders what it is. He's a writer, so, he must see plenty of creative things that he'd never share with others.

« Maybe one day he'd share with me... he shouldn't. He's married. »

Once he comes back to her, she nods slightly. ]

Yeah. A few of them. I... didn't stay in one place long. I don't stay in places long. [ There's no reason to stay and make roots. They'll find her like they found her and Dylan before. She has to find Dylan. She can't trust people to not tell the government. ] Some places are okay. Most of them are just... not worth seeing. Nothing that could inspire a big time writer.

[ She almost asks if he still lives with his wife. At the last moment she stops herself. It's none of her business. Alan's life with his wife isn't a place she belongs in. She shouldn't even be in this situation with him. Everything in her tells her otherwise.

As if to answer his question, she leans further into him. It may not be okay, but, it's still what she wants. ]

[ He returns to the present, but the images his mind conjured up are still lurking around at the edges of his awareness. Something about what he saw is telling him it's important. He better not forget it. ]

When you say a few of them, do you mean different towns? States? Both? [ She does kind of have the look of someone who gets around. He's just not sure how far she's come or how many places she's passed through. ]

Is it going to get people on your trail if you tell me where you've been? I'm only asking because I'm not really that well traveled, so... [ He trails off there, briefly thinking back to the small stack of travel magazines he stashed in one of his desk drawers. And then he huffs out a dry laugh. ]

Big time writer? That's not me. I'm no Stephen King or Dan Brown. Just because my books sell a lot doesn't mean that much. [ It does mean he gets to live a semi-comfortable life, but he wouldn't dare put himself on the same level as the greats of the writing world.

Honestly, he's not looking for much encouragement to take that last step. They're already so close to each other, faces just inches away, and that force that's pulling at him to just step over the threshold and connect with her seems to grow even stronger.

Well, here goes nothing. If she pushes me away or punches me, I guess that's my answer.

He leans in just a fraction more and his lips find hers, and for about five or ten seconds, he holds the kiss until he eventually pulls back. ]

[ A nod. ] Towns and states. I've... you know. Nowhere is really home. [ « Home implies that I feel like I can make somewhere a place I want to stay. There's been nowhere like that. No one to really want to be home with. That's fine. I have you and when I find Dylan? It'll be home. Whenever I find him. » ] What about you? Is there anywhere you want to go?

N-no. I don't think so. It's just most places aren't worth mentioning. [ Her eyes flick downwards briefly once more. ] Chicago. Different places in Maine. That's where Ordinary is.

[ Her head tilts again. ] Your books are famous. I wouldn't be surprised if they want to make them into movies like Stephen King's books. You don't need to be like the other writers. Just, you.

[ Jesse doesn't hesitate. Her lips press to his the moment he leans in. It feels like a bolt of lightening strikes her. She leans entirely against him, hand sliding from his just so she can wrap it around him. When he begins to pull away? She follows him to kiss him again.

That pull inside almost seems to be ablaze at the contact. Stronger even. She would be lying if she said she wasn't a little scared of it. Not that she feels it's dangerous or even consuming. She just doesn't know what it is or how to even control it. If she even can.

Things out of her control are what scares her the most. ]

Edited 2024-02-06 21:11 (UTC)

I get it, kind of. The city's where you go if you want to make it in business. It doesn't matter what kind of business, just anything that turns a profit. [ He pauses to glance around them, at the scenery nearby. There's still wilderness here, an untamed feeling, and Alan kind of likes that. ] It probably sounds weird, but I want to go to more places like this. [ He waves a hand at the area around them. ]

Somewhere with more trees and less skyscrapers. I know, I don't look like a big outdoor guy, but there's just something about a place like this.

[ You can actually breathe here. ]

Maine, huh? That's probably got some wilderness to it still. [ He looks like he wants to say something more about places to visit, but then it sinks in what she's just said. Not the part about turning his books into movies, the other part.

She can probably see the wheels turning in his mind as he tries to process her words. It's not every day that someone manages to render him speechless, but he's pretty close to that right now.

And then she surprises him again when she follows after him to give him a kiss of her own. Well, I was already thinking I was already in too deep to let her go, but I'm definitely not doing that now.

He leans into the kiss the second it becomes clear to him that she wants it too, and his hold on her tightens by just a fraction. I'm in too deep now, but it feels good. It shouldn't feel this good, but it does. ]

It's not only that. But, sure. We can put it that way. [ It's relatable for Alan and that's what matters. He needs to put it in a context he can understand. ] I guess it depends if you ever really liked the city. Like, for the city living. Not the social perks it had.

[ The wheels turn and her eyebrows change upwards. Did she say something wrong? Most likely. She isn't one to socialize or know the normal ways it should be done. She can navigate normal conversation. This... this is a little different.

She worries about the whole situation. Should they indulge in it? Everything in her tells her yes, including the gravitational pull. Is it truly the right thing to do? His wife and him are seemingly split in everythint but legalities. Jesse can still tell he loves his wife. They should have the chance to fix their marriage without her interfering. Right?

Those thoughts run in her mind until his arms wrap around her higher. Then, even surprising to her, she melts in his arms. Both arms curl around him then as she leans everything against him. She isn't thinking about his wife, marriage status, or the story. All of her attention is focused on him. ]

Edited 2024-02-08 10:28 (UTC)

I didn't hate it. It was convenient having everything I needed more or less right there, but- [ The social perks aside, it was starting to feel suffocating in a way. ] I didn't realize it until recently, but I think I was starting to feel like I needed a change. Maybe not this kind of a change, but, well...

[ It's gotten him out of the city, anyway, even if it's not really what he was expecting or planning on.

Neither was he expecting to find someone like her, someone who, even though she seems unsure and hesitant about letting him in, has told him something he hasn't heard before: namely, that he doesn't have to be like other writers. He just has to be like himself. There is a part of him that still hesitates about letting her in, given his own complicated relationship status, but he can't lie and say he doesn't want this.

There wasn't much room for love or physical contact between him and Alice, even though things weren't hostile between them. No objects were thrown or blows landed, although sometimes, biting words were exchanged. But there was no room for affection either, and maybe that's what he's looking for. But should he look for it from Jesse?

That force pulling him in says a resounding yes.

His eyes lock onto her green ones as he lets that force pull at him more. He loves Alice, and maybe he always will, but at some point, their relationship stopped being characterized by love and became colder, chillier. Maybe they just grew apart. Maybe Alan's looking for someone he can love and be loved by in return. But is Jesse that person? He shouldn't ask her, he knows that. He shouldn't even expect anything from her, but at the same time, a one-night stand isn't what he wants.

He leans in and deepens the kiss more. ]

[ She nods slowly. ] I guess artists need to change things now and then to keep feeling inspired. I mean. I don't know. It... I'm not a creative person like that.

[ « His wife is a photographer, right? She should understand all of this. She should be able to help with all this way more than I ever could. I'm just a nobody who can talk to an alien in her head. No real special skills. I can't put the world in some nice artistic way to even begin relating to it. All I know is how the world really is. That's not something that should be inspiring. »

The only thing she feels she could ever do is confirm what he knows of the world and explain it more. That could never really be able to help an artist, writer, creative individual. It's cold and brutualistic. Like the cement buildings found in cities from certain time periods.

As much as the moment has pulled her in? Jesse is aware that it won't last. When they've dealt with the Dark Presence? Alan will have freed his wife. If Alice really is here, the two will go back home. She'll probably pack what little are her things and leave herself. Nothing is tying her down to Bright Falls. If Polaris needs the Dark Presence dealt with and they do? There's nothing else for her here. She'll be on the road again with her burner phone and Polaris guiding her way. Just as it always is.

Something in her rebels at the idea of letting Alan go. Jesse is aware it's simply not realistic and the world doesn't have the nice romantic endings in books or movies. Even if the other Alan on the phone insisted the two would find their way together? Jesse can't see how it would happen. The odds are stacked against the idea just like they are with trying to find Dylan. The only reason she believes she can find her brother is because they're family. She and Alan are...

He deepens the kiss and she let's out a content sigh without realizing it. Her whole body entirely relaxes against his. It's most likely evident that Jesse is far from as experienced in the matters of kissing and intimacy. The fact alone causes her to feel a sudden insecurity--almost shyness--and she breaks their kiss.

Not that she pulls away. Her eyes remain closed and her forehead presses to his. Her hands press against him and slightly curl into his tweed jacket. That pull wants her even closer than she already is, despite leaning everything against him. ]

Inspiration can come from anywhere, and sometimes it just sneaks up on you. [ He pauses, wondering if he should say what's on the tip of his tongue, ultimately deciding to just go for it. ] You don't have to be an artist to see something that catches your eye and makes you feel interested.

[ He learned that from Alice, and he sometimes catches himself looking at trees or mountains and making mental notes for settings to use in his writing. ]

Have you ever just been walking somewhere and seen something out of the corner of your eye that made you stop and look again? That's kind of what inspiration feels like sometimes.

[ And speaking of inspiration, Alan thinks he might be feeling a little of that right now. He's not thinking about the Dark Presence, which might as well be an enemy he has to fight somehow. Saving Alice is still in the back of his mind, because he can't let go of that so easily, but this sudden connection he's discovering with Jesse is something he wants to focus on.

And given how easy he's finding it to hold her and kiss her, focusing on her isn't hard at all. It's not just physical attraction, although he'd be lying to himself if he said he didn't find himself drawn to her, drawn in by her eyes and the color of them.

There's something about her as a person that he can't quite put his finger on, but he knows that he wants to learn more. He wants to know about her likes and dislikes, and what things in the world inspire her when she sees them. It's that artistic side of him that says everyone has something that inspires them, and he wants to know what that might be for her.

The pull that's directed him this far tells him to pull her in a little closer until they're touching each other more, and he listens to it. The arm that's wrapped around her pulls her in, and he smiles when she presses her forehead against his.

He wants moments like these, but he also wants to just sit and have coffee with her and talk: about any subject, about anything on her mind. He feels as though he could listen to her talk about anything at all, and he wouldn't ever grow bored.

She broke the kiss, but their faces are still so close together, and he takes advantage of that to brush the tip of his nose against hers. It might be a silly gesture, but nothing feels wrong to him in this moment. ]

[ She watches him intently, taking in what he says, clearly thinking it over. Then, her gaze drifts to the side. She doubts the eye catching she has is the same. Inspiration and creativity drive his world, but, paranoia and distrust drive hers.

« Current issues aside? His life is better than mine. Fuller. I've seen more... but I've never neen able to really stop and marvel anything anymore. It's all just pulled down by this feeling of cynicism. » ]

I don't think the world looks the same to me as it does you. [ « I know it doesn't. He still has the poster on the wall. Why... why would he ever take it down? »

Her gaze drops. Shoulders curl as if she's trying to make herself smaller. Unseen. ] It's good you can lool at the world like that and still pull inspiration from it. Don't let anything take it away.

[ Jesse has already leaned against him entirely. He could bend down and sweep her off her feet and she'd let him. That pull inside her wants to never break contact. Keep together with him. Make itself louder--but she doesn't understand what, how, or why any of it feels the way she does.

His nose brushes against hers and she can't help the small smile that tugs on her lips. A hint of pink touches her cheeks. She's not used to any of this. These motions are for normal people. Not crazy people like her.

Her eyes remain closed. ]

Do you want to keep writing?

Hey, I don't live in some bubble where everything is an opportunity and inspiration is behind every corner. I might be able to look at something and use it in a book, but there's a time for imagination and a time for being realistic. Right now is a time for being realistic.

Although... [ He smirks a bit, and he presses himself against her just a fraction. ] I don't mind being unrealistic with you around.

[ Whatever that means. But even I can't pretend there's not something crazy about holding onto someone like this, someone I've just met. But it feels right, and something keeps telling me to just go with it. ]

Does this feel all right? Is this okay with you?

[ He wants to make sure this is good for her too, and not something unwanted. He can tell from how she looks and how she moves that it's not, but he just wants to check in. ]

Yeah. I mean, I always wanted to write, even when I was a kid. It's not something I'm going to stop doing anytime soon. Nothing's going to take that inspiration away, as far as I'm concerned.

Realistic. [ Her tone is more of questioning than disbelief. How much of this does he really find realistic? They're following a story he doesn't remember writing about a kidnapper taking his wife. The Dark Presence hunting him. Now, her. ] Not many people would say this is realistic.

[ A bashful smile touches her face as he presses back. Oh, she definitely wouldn't mind being unrealistic. Not that she can explain why. How can one conversation with a different version of Alan make her want to toss all caution to the wind? What is it about Alan Wake?

« Would he really tear down that poster for me...? No. No one should. »

Even if she wants to have someone in the room with her that sees the world she does.

She nods. ] It's okay.

[ Honestly, she doesn't want to let him go. ]

Then, we should find a way to take your story back. Make it yours again. Not... whatever the hell this is.

[ Suddenly, her hands grip onto him tighter. Her body stiffens. She can feel something tugging at her ankles. Something that wants to make her move as it wants and do as it demands of her. Let go of Alan. They have a job to do.

The story.

« No. I don't want to let him go. What if... what if I let go and can never hold onto him again? »

The fear strikes her hard and fast. Maybe some of it shows in her eyes from being hidden inside. The sudden and irrational idea that he'll drift away and she'll never see him again. He'll be gone from her life like her parents and Dylan.

« He can't disappear. I won't let him. » ]

I don't mean realistic like that. I mean that I can't go around with my head in the clouds when there's things I need to be doing here. [ Because nothing about this is realistic. It's unbelievable and feels like something from a horror movie; at the very least, it's a horror story that they're being forcd to follow. Well, he is, because he's at the center of it. ]

I'd ask if the feeling of being completely boggled by all of it ever goes away, but I'm guessing that's a no. Maybe you just become resigned to it.

[ He shakes his head. It's not that he doesn't like the idea of eventually becoming resigned to all this insanity. It's just hard for him to imagine. ]

Yeah. That's kind of my goal here... figuring out how to take it back and stop all this. Not stop everything, just- the story. [ He doesn't want to stop them. He doesn't want to let go of her. Maybe whenever he figures out how to end this, he can go with her to help her figure out where her brother is and how to g et him back. At least then they'd be together a little longer.

He sees that flash of fear in her eyes, and while it's not exactly reflected in his own, there's a reluctance to let go of her. He feels a need to keep her around, to stay with her. But will the story let him? That's the question he can't answer. ]

What would you say if I... stuck around, after this? [ He figures she'll pick up on what "this" he means. ]

Edited 2024-02-17 20:15 (UTC)

Not being able to be a dreamer all the time. It makes sense. [ « Something tells me that Alan could never be a dreamer like that. There's something that anchors him down... or, drags him down, I guess. It seems like there's always something in his mind. » ] I've... never felt bogged down by it all. Not like you mean. I think. It's just how my world is. It's sort of hard to think of it any other way given... things.

[ « Namely you. »

Polaris shifts in agreement.

Jesse would argue that maybe they could make the story do as they want. Work with it to a point, then force it to answer to them. They can't be powerless. Something in it has to work in at least Alan's favor. He wrote it... didn't he?

Jesse nods. ] I... it would give me a reason to stay here. In Bright Falls, I mean. I would just go where my friend said to otherwise.

People think writers are just dreamers, and maybe we are, sometimes. But there's a time and place for everything, isn't there? This seems like a time to be serious about getting whatever the hell done that needs to be done. And, well, maybe the world's just like that: the way you see it. Other people don't see it, and maybe that's good for them. Cause maybe they can't handle it.

[ Alan doesn't even know if he can handle it, and he's only just started getting his feet wet.

And he lacks the confidence Jesse seems to have. He's not sure if he could force the story to do what they want. Maybe Jesse could, but he's not sure he can. Sure, he wrote it, but he doesn't remember it. Doesn't remember what's at his disposal to fight back. ]

Hell, we wouldn't even have to stay here unless you wanted to.

[ She pauses as he says what he does. Her expression falls, but from surprise. He just says things that she never expects. Things that should be words or phrases only she really knows. It makes her feel that maybe he could be in the room without the poster. That maybe he would understand Polaris.

But, she still hesitates.

« What if he can't handle it? » ]

Would... you want to see it? The world the way it really is.

[ Her hands squeeze into his jacket as if to further ask him. If not, she can let go. They'll finish the story and she won't bring him further into the bigger world. He could go back to his life before hand. ]

I don't... really have a home. Anywhere is fine.

[ He pauses when he sees the look on her face. She looks surprised, but he wonders if there's something else behind it. He didn't think anything that he'd just said was that surprising, but it must have struck a chord with her somehow. ]

Honestly? You'll think I'm crazy, but- [ He shrugs. ] I think part of me always knew there was something out there, lurking around where it couldn't be seen. I knew I wasn't just some little kid who was scared of the dark. So... yeah. I want to see it.

[ And maybe he'll regret it. But maybe he won't. Maybe he doesn't want to live with his eyes closed anymore. He leans more into her touch as her hands squeeze his jacket as if to say he wants this. He's not pulling away. ]

Well, would you like to live in a big city or a small town?

[ « A kid afraid of the dark? I mean, that's normal. Everyone is at first. Maybe the dark isn't the same dark? It's not just the lights being off. Could... could he have some sort of connection to this like I have to you? »

Jesse looks to the side as Polaris shifts. Her gaze drifts from one thing to another. The wheels are clearly turning in her mind as Polaris communicates back and forth. She figures one day he'll realize she isn't just looking away from him.

« Because he's an artist? I don't understand. »

Jesse glances back up at him. Would he really understand Polaris? Would he want to meet her? ]

So, this is just confirmation for you then. That something is in the dark. [ « Something bigger than life that wants him. » ] Now you know that light banishes it away.

[ She gives him a fond smile. There's always an opposite... some sort of balance. Light and Dark.

Her forehead rests against his even as he leans into her hands. ] I... don't really have a preference. I never thought about it before. It's just been moving around. Special places if my friend tells me to go there, like with Bright Falls.

[ She feels that tug on reality again. The story almost clamping around her ankles to make her move. Alan can most likely feel it too on some level. Maybe not realizing that's what the feeling is.

Jesse would be lying if she said she wasn't afraid when the story takes back over. It's not that Alan changes as a person, but, she can tell when the story is blinding him. How it makes him make choices and decisions that she thinks he wouldn't normally do. Things she says can go straight over his head because the story doesn't allow him to hear it. That's just what she's seen in the last day or so.

« If I move, it's going to pull him back into it. Convince him his wife is kidnapped and send all those Taken things after him again. I... I like him like this; being himself. Not being controlled by the story or its flow. »

Her hands curl to the point they shake and the knuckles turn white. ]

It's getting dark again.

[ Alan watches her, part of him wondering where she goes when her gaze seems to shift away to the side or simply away from him. He figures she's just thinking, pondering things over; he's been known to do the same, after all. ]

Confirmation, yeah. Proof that I was right to be afraid of the dark. Maybe monsters aren't lurking in the dark all the time, but there are monsters. [ He smiles at her statement about how he's learned the role light plays in banishing the darkness. For just a moment, he looks relaxed. Unbothered. Maybe even untroubled. But it won't last, because the story isn't finished. For now, though, it's a reprieve, and Alan's grateful for it. ]

Maybe we'll just do some traveling to both cities and small towns. We'll see a little bit of everything. Or if your friend tells you to go somewhere, I'll go with you. As long as you want me around, anyway.

[ He feels something begin to tug at him too now, something trying to pull him away from these idle moments and push him back towards the story. He stubbornly tries to resist. He's not ready yet. ]

Yeah, it is. [ He knows a little more now about what happens when it gets dark, but he wants to push back against that. ] What if we found a place to stay in for awhile? The car, or a cabin... [ It's not a foolproof plan. The story could find ways to reach them in any location. ] We could talk more, and try to figure out what we're going to do next. Or we don't even have to do that. We could just talk... about ourselves.

[ It's his way of saying he wants to learn more about her, if she's willing to share more with him. ]

[ Maybe by the end of all this she will tell him about Polaris. Her friend keeps pressing for her to do so, and even the other Alan encouraged her. It's just, when she looks into his eyes, she can tell he isn't ready. He couldn't conceive that their would be an entity like the Dark Presence that could care to be benevolent or work with humans. ]

Sometimes that's all you need. Conformation that you're not crazy. Even if the rest of the world tells you that you are. [ She figures he has caught onto the little ways she is telling him things about herself. Even if it's just continually adding context to it. ] I'd like that. Just... traveling to travel with someone.

I think she'd enjoy it. My friend, I mean. [ Jesse feels herself curl up defensively. Everyone has ever told her Polaris is imaginary. What if he thinks the same thing? ] She's... intuitive. She knew where your manuscript pages would be.

[ Jesse's attention focuses back on him. Her heart beats fast once more. The story is forgotten again. Her hands curl in his jacket and she leans into him. ]

We can find a cabin or a room in the morning. Have breakfast. [ She leans into him again, weight rocking onto the balls of her feet. ] I... I can tell you about what happened--in Ordinary. All of the details. A-and introduce you to my friend. Maybe we can decide where to go.

[ There eyes drift down to his lips once more. Then, back to to his eyes. She leans up just enough to kiss him once more. ]

Edited 2024-02-22 10:16 (UTC)

[ It's highly possible that Alan is simply not ready. In many ways, no one could ever really be prepared for encountering the weirdness and strangeness that the world actually contains. Alan certainly wasn't, before all this started. He wouldn't even go as far as to say his eyes have been opened to the weirdness, but he's starting to see that it's not always everything that meets the eye. ]

Yeah, I guess. I know some people spend their whole lives looking for that confirmation, and sometimes they never find it. I guess we got lucky, sort of. If having confirmation that everything you thought was out there actually is out there can be lucky. But you know what I mean, right? [ They're not crazy. They just got unarguable proof that there's more out there than people think there is. ]

Well, then, that's what we'll do. You and me and- your friend. [ He's not quite sure what this friend is yet, but he's getting the sense that she's more than just an average friend, and that makes him curious. ] About your friend, though. Can I ask how she knew? Is she psychic or something?

That sounds great, actually. Finding somewhere to hole up and just- regroup. Figure things out, as much as we can, anyway. And I'd like that too, to learn more about you and your friend and get to know both of you better.

[ Somehow, Alan just knows he wants these two as allies, for as long as they'll stick around. He leans in to meet her halfway, and then she kisses him again and electricity pulses up his spine. His reaction is immediate, and he returns the kiss, pressing in as deeply as he can manage. ]

[ Jesse may not have been ready herself. Or, maybe, in the end she really was. The weird way the world really is ended up being an escape from parents who neglected her and her brother. Not that she ever wanted her parents to disappear or anyone else to end up that way. She just wanted then to listen to her for once. Understand her. Believe her.

Care. ]

Yeah. I know what you mean. [ Jesse nods slightly.

« Now, it's just believing he really does understand. » ] She's... sort of. I guess. Would you really buy that she is psychic?

[ Somehow she imagines he'd have a harder time accepting anything like that. Entities is one thing, but, powers that are found in comic books? Alan has to draw a line somewhere. ]

Okay. That's the plan. [ She leans in a little more and lets that pull guide her. ] I think there's a motel outside the town limits. Maybe the FBI won't look there.

[ He kisses her deeply and she melts entirely against him. Her hands slip underneath his tweed jacket, hands curl into the hoodie. A content sigh leaves her. She wishes she was more skilled at this--it must feel ridiculous to kiss her. ]

Sorry, I'm sure I sound- well. Off my rocker. Maybe I am, but I still have this feeling that this is real. I know what I've seen, and it's not just more of "Alan Wake and his too vivid imagination". I know my imagination goes off the rails sometimes, but I can't close my eyes and wave all this away. And hey, psychics exist. Not the ones going "ohmmmm" in sketchy buildings, but I think there really are genuine psychics.

[ What he can't figure out is just who this friend is. He doesn't think she's a person like him and Jesse, but somehow, he knows that doesn't make her any less real. Jesse certainly knows she's real, and he's inclined to believe her. ]

She's pointing the way for you, isn't she? She has been for a long time.

[ He nods in agreement and when she melts against him, one hand goes right to her hair, fingers twining carefully in the strands. He keeps them there for about a minute, and then his hand begins to move, stroking her red locks. It doesn't feel ridiculous to kiss her or to touch her, and speaking of kisses, he presses another one against her mouth again. ]

It is real. [ Her answer is immediate and assured. She understands what it is like to have people tell her what she experienced wasn't real. That she made it all up in her mind in order to cope with the "industrial accident." Jesse would tell him all about it at that moment if she could. The words won't come out, and she's still terrified he might reject it all once she goes into details. ] I thought you would be more skeptic about things like that.

[ She nods, slowly, almost hesitantly. Defensively. ] She has. Yeah. Since... what happened in Ordinary.

[ Jesse sighs contently against his lips the moment his fingers entwine in her hair. It may be the least guarded notion she has done since they've met. Her head tilts into his hand and she kisses him the moment he presses to hers again. Fingers curl further into the hoodie under his jacket. She presses against him, fully needing his hold to keep her upright.

« Why does this feel this way? I don't--I don't understand. Do I have to understand? I think I should. Does he... or have we just decided it doesn't matter? »

She can feel the shift in reality again. It demands to be paid attention to. So much so that it feels as if it's clawing into her ankles and trying to physically pull her away from him. Nothing truly is, but, she can feel it in her mind in a way. The story has to be fulfilled because it's been written. She can't alter it. Something will happen to make Alan go to Mirror Peak. ]

I- [ He pauses because he's not sure how to explain it. His world view does lean more towards the skeptic's side of things, but there's just some things that can't really be explained. ] I tend to see the world as black and white, or I did, but- I'm not going to suddenly decide to become a mystic or guru or anything, but I know that there's things out there. Forces. Unexplained events. Would I like to just pretend there's nothing out there, that the world is exactly as it appears? Sure.

[ He just shrugs. He's slowly realizing he can't just put his fingers in his ears and close his eyes and pretend.

He does, however, want to just pretend that these moments with Jesse won't be something brief, a flash in the pan. He might not be officially divorced, but he can't pretend he doesn't have an attachment to her already.

It doesn't go unnoticed, how she sighs against his lips, and how it's the most open she's been with him so far. Could we really have this? Could we make this work? I want it to work. I want to stay with her.

But he can also feel the way reality or the story or whatever the hell it is tugs at him. Go away. Just a little longer. Let us have this before you drag us into whatever you're doing.

He feels the way she presses herself against him, and he instantly leans in a little to give her the support she seems to be asking for. His fingers curl further into his hair and his lips crash against hers once more as his desire for her only grows.

When they both have to come up for air, he mumbles almost reluctantly, because he doesn't want this to end. ] You feel it too, don't you? That pull to get moving.

[ It's not the kind of movement that he wants. The last thing he wants is to move the way the story demands. ]

[ The idea of a mystic guru that was once the famous author Alan Wake is something that would be rather amusing to see. It would be so opposite of who he is. He seems pragmatic even with the awareness of otherworldly forces. Something keeps him grounded and in check despite it all.

There's a determination in him that's uniquely Alan Wake. Something she finds herself drawn to outside of that gravitational pull. She hardly lacks conviction or her own idea of what's real and what's not. Yet, something about how while he is scared out of his mind, he keeps pushing forward. ]

It'd be easier to go back to the way things were before Bright Falls... I think. I mean, for you.

[ If he ever did, she knows theu couldn't be together like this. She couldn't drag him further into this world.

Fingers twining in her hair makes her sigh against his mouth once more. She has already entirely relaxed in his hold, eyes fluttering shut. Her mouth moves against his once more as he kisses her again. The feeling is as if she's floating on air. He could sink her down to the ground or move her against the wall and she wouldn't protest. She feels she needs the extra support so she can keep feeling the way she does. It's like nothing she's ever felt before.

« I like this... being witn someone like this. » ]

It's the story. [ She remains pressed entirely against him and her lips inches from his. ] Tugging me in a direction I don't want to go.

[ « We have to, don't we? » ]

oceanview (different path) || ❝ turn the page i need to see something new. ❞

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