oceanview (different path) || ❝ turn the page i need to see something new. ❞

[outlierdirector]

a different path,
the same road.

When I thought that I fought this war alone
You were there by my side on the frontline
When I thought that I fought without a cause
You gave me a reason to try CODE BY TESSISAMESS

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[outlierdirector]

[ The idea of a mystic guru that was once the famous author Alan Wake is something that would be rather amusing to see. It would be so opposite of who he is. He seems pragmatic even with the awareness of otherworldly forces. Something keeps him grounded and in check despite it all.

There's a determination in him that's uniquely Alan Wake. Something she finds herself drawn to outside of that gravitational pull. She hardly lacks conviction or her own idea of what's real and what's not. Yet, something about how while he is scared out of his mind, he keeps pushing forward. ]

It'd be easier to go back to the way things were before Bright Falls... I think. I mean, for you.

[ If he ever did, she knows theu couldn't be together like this. She couldn't drag him further into this world.

Fingers twining in her hair makes her sigh against his mouth once more. She has already entirely relaxed in his hold, eyes fluttering shut. Her mouth moves against his once more as he kisses her again. The feeling is as if she's floating on air. He could sink her down to the ground or move her against the wall and she wouldn't protest. She feels she needs the extra support so she can keep feeling the way she does. It's like nothing she's ever felt before.

« I like this... being witn someone like this. » ]

It's the story. [ She remains pressed entirely against him and her lips inches from his. ] Tugging me in a direction I don't want to go.

[ « We have to, don't we? » ]

[crazyisinevitable]

[ Is it being pragmatic or is it just being too stubborn to wholly let go of the idea that the world is only black and white? Maybe it's a bit of both. Maybe even Alan doesn't know. And maybe one day, he won't be so grounded anymore. Or at least the pretense of being grounded might one day fade. Who knows, really.

And again, is it determination or stubbornness? Maybe Alan should just slow down and not be so stubborn about pushing ahead. But to him, not pushing ahead feels too much like giving up, and he's not about to do that. ]

Really, you think so? I don't know if it would be easier. I don't actually know much of anything right now, except.. Except, well, I- I know I care about you, even though we just met.

[ He keeps touching her hair, but then he pauses. ] Is there somewhere that you... well, that you like having touched? [ He could let his hands wander and explore, and a part of him still wants to do that, but he figures he'll ask first. ]

I don't want to go either. I know, I don't have a choice. Alice... Alice is in danger too, and I can't just leave her, knowing that, but...

[ He feels like he's being pulled in two different directions, and only one of them is the one he wants. ]

At least let us stay like this for a little while longer.

[ It's said to her, but it also could be said to the story, or whoever's behind the story. ]

I don't want to let this go. What if we just- left? [ He knows it's not an option, and it contradicts what he said earlier, but he can't help this moment of selfishness. ]

[outlierdirector]

[ His ability to be grounded might be the one thing that keeps him centered in all this. It could be the one thing that gets them through it. Polaris helps, and Jesse would never diminish her friend's place in it, but something about Alan's determination is what makes a path seem clear in all of it. The story has a certain way it must be done... but how much of that is because Alan is forcing the story's hand in the end? ]

You couldn't pretend this was all bad dream? That life doesn't change after it? [ Her questions are inquisitory not ones from accusations or cross-examination. ]

I... [ Jesse trails off once he makes his statement of caring for her. Green eyes open slightly to immediately catch onto his gray ones. A look of embarrassment crosses her gaze. Clearly, she isn't used to the idea or used to hearing things of that nature. Her hands curl into his hoodie as if to squeeze in return. ] I--I'm not sure. I mean, this... I don't... people don't get this close to me.

[ « I haven't trusted someone like this to let them this far. He'll figure that out. Won't he? »

He's already made her weak at the knees, only being held up because his arms are around her. Green eyes drift shut again once he continues to play with her hair. Her body signals she enjoys the notion.

Jesse kisses him once more, trying to explain the passion she feels welling up inside her. The desire and want for him. None of it makes sense, but she still wants it. A pull that drives her to want to touch his skin and let him strip her of walls and fabric. It's not a good idea when they've just met. Not out in the open. ]

We can't leave. You can't leave her here--if she really is here. [ The words are gentle and soft. She parts her lips to gently pull his bottom lip between hers. Then, she kisses his chin, gently brushing her lips against his jaw before pressing to the side of his head. A shaking exhale leaves her and she swallows the emotion and reaction bubbling inside her. ] You'll always regret leaving her here. Letting whatever is happening here change everything. We need to stop it.

We'll find the Motel room. Breakfast, talking and... more of this. I'll find a way to make it happen.

[crazyisinevitable]

[ Truthfully, Alan feels the exact opposite of grounded at the moment. Well, doing something as normal yet still exhilarating as touching and kissing Jesse is giving him something to focus on. Maybe by focusing his attentions on someone else, it helps him feel less like he's drifting in the wind... or the waves. But lest Jesse think he's only using her for personal gain, that's not at all how Alan's viewing this. He feels an attachment, a pull, something that's stirring up a feeling that he needs to make this good for both of them. It's not a fling, not the acting out of an almost divorced man.

It's real. ]

I've had bad dreams, and those... well, they were nothing compared to this. And something tells me I haven't even really seen anything yet. I don't think I could just write this off as a nightmare. [ He doesn't take her questions as prying or as accusations, because he's had his share of those and he knows how to recognize that tone: that tone that's missing from Jesse's words. ]

Well, I'm getting close to you, but if this is uncomfortable or you don't like it or just need space, I'll back off. [ He has moments of being an asshole, but he's not really about forcing himself on someone who either doesn't want it or needs the space to breathe.

But it looks to him that she is enjoying his touches and being held, so for now, he doesn't pull back. Truthfully, he wants to keep going, to show her how he feels, to dispel any doubts she might have, if any at all. She kisses him and he instantly returns the gesture by pressing his lips deeply against hers, and when he pulls back just a fraction, tracing the outline of her lips with his tongue. Maybe it's too bold of a gesture but it feels right. ]

I know I can't. We might be having problems, but I- I can't just leave her. [ There's still a small part of him that's still in love with her, but the writing's on the wall, as far as he can tell. They're two very different people, and even though he'd try for reconciliation, he's not sure it would do either of them any good. ] I have to save her, and then... and then she can go after the life she wants, however that ends up looking for her.

[ Maybe he could start a new life with Jesse, if she wanted to let him in. Of course, Alan has no expectations about that; maybe to Jesse, this is just something temporary. Something to distract herself for a little while before she focuses back on reality: a reality that doesn't include a somewhat famous author. ]

We'll both make it happen. [ Alan's tone sounds suddenly resolute, and he gives a firm nod. ]

When did you want to leave? [ Alan feels a nudge then, as if telling him that whether they walk or drive to their next destination, he wants to do it holding her hand, even if he has to drive one-handed. ]

[outlierdirector]

[ The how is what Jesse finds herself struggling with. The feeling of being near him, and being like this, is as real as Polaris is. Just... how it started with a touch of his hand to where they are now is a mystery to her. Things can't happen like this for people--can they? It's almost storybook or movie like in how it's all progressed. If it was the story, then, why would she feel the tug to get moving? This is happening outside the story.

Why?

She nods slowly to his responses. Nightmares are easy to tell to the waking reality around them. ] It's different from what happened in Ordinary. I don't really know what can happen here. Or what's happening. Minus the fact this Dark Presence is after you.

[ Jesse let's a gentle moan out from his kiss and tracing her lips. Her breathing quickens. She feels her heart pounds. She doesn't want whatever it is to end. She wants the pace to keep going. While she struggles with how it all started? The feeling is one she knows she wants to keep hold of. ]

Then, we should go. [ Words say one thing, tone says the other. The determination he gives makes her eyes open and focus only on him.

What she wants is obvious--him. Someone who understands. Like this. More than this. Jesse has to swallow the lump of emotions and arousal building in her throat. Even as her gaze drops back to his lips.

Polaris tugs at her mind. They need to go. Jesse can feel her shimmer in the distance. Her friend, always guiding the way.

Her eyes close and forehead presses to his again as she feels the moment slip through her fingers. ]

Don't let go of me. No matter what.

[crazyisinevitable]

I don't know any more than you do about any of this. Actually, I think you do know more, because of Ordinary.

[ It sounds stupid to him, but maybe this is his Ordinary. Or something like that.

He knows they need to go, but he really doesn't want to. He just wants to hold her and kiss her and explore her and be explored in return. ]

I don't want to go, but as long as you're here, I don't mind. [ Because it's being with her that he wants.

If what she wants is obvious, then what he wants should also be obvious. A sigh escapes him when she presses her forehead against his. He wants to stay like this. He doesn't want to leave, doesn't want to go back out there and face whatever's there waiting for them. ]

I won't. I won't let go. And don't let go of me either.

[ That pull on him only grows and he really should just move and take a step towards the next thing, but he's not ready. He stays where he is with his forehead against hers, but he opens his eyes so he can take her in and memorize her. ]

[outlierdirector]

I know... what happened in Ordinary. That's... I'm pretty sure this is nothing like that. We didn't have a story telling us what to do, or what way to go. Maybe we could of avoided things if we did.

[ A ghost of a smile touches her lips at his sigh. Her hands uncurl from his jacket. They move up to his shoulders, then down his arms, and slide into his. She doesn't want to leave either. They have to. ]

I won't.

[ « He won't disappear. Not like Dylan. Mom, Dad. Everyone else that did. I won't let him. »

She rolls her weight back onto her feet and finds herself weak at the knees. Her fingers slide between his, gently pulling him with her so they are hardly apart. Green eyes latch back onto his gray ones. The path to Mirror's Peek shouldn't take long. How dangerous it will be is dependent on the Dark Presence arriving or not. ]

I have the flashlight in my bag. And the manuscript pages still.

[crazyisinevitable]

Is the story really helping that much? Am I even doing anything to move it along? [ He glowers in frustration but it's not at all with her. He feels like he barely knows what he's doing, that the story's just going along and dragging him with it.

If not for Jesse being here, he knows he would be a lot more frustrated than he is already. She's helping him think about something other than the story and giving him someone else to focus on besides his problems.

Her hands moving up his shoulders and back down his arms before coming to a stop by sliding into his own hands makes him shiver. He offers a faint smile in return, and even though it's a small one, it still makes his eyes soften. ]

I shouldn't say that you're all I have, but- well... [ He has Barry, his best friend, but now it seems he has her... someone who could be a lot more than a friend, maybe. He wants her to be a lot more.

He doesn't resist when she pulls him with her until there's no space between them. ]

Good, so we're all set. Well, as far as we know. For what it's worth, I'm- I'm glad that I came to talk to you.

[outlierdirector]

( continued episode 4: the truth )