inheritedpuzzle: ษชษดสœแด‡ส€ษชแด›แด‡แด…แด˜แดœแดขแดขสŸแด‡ | ๐™™๐™ค ๐™ฃ๐™ค๐™ฉ ๐™ฉ๐™–๐™ ๐™š. (... ๐Ÿงฉ the pieces i can't put back.)
สแดœษขษช แดแดœแด›แดแดœ โŒˆๆญฆ่—ค้ŠๆˆฏโŒ‹ ([personal profile] inheritedpuzzle) wrote in [community profile] synthneon2021-06-27 01:35 am

YGO PSL | โ i forget why i stay, and wonder if they'd notice if i slipped away. โž

RAIN



( for once a post not continued from a meme!! we just continuing this hurt/comfort train down the way to hell. )

[ It was almost strange coming back home to Japan. It wasn't as if he had gotten used to being in America or their customs (or food - the size of the portions). More of it had to do with routine and getting back to normal day-to-day life. School work, tests, helping in the game shop. There were no tournaments, no life threatening situations. Strange is the word he guesses he'd put to it all if he had to find one. Somehow he had gotten used to the duels, the stakes, the adventure. Everything else is just... mundane.

That isn't the only issue, even though he'd like to point it to being the only one.

As the days go on and life returns to normal? The reality of time just becomes more apparent to him. Each day brings graduation closer. Graduation means the next step in their lives... and that means everyone will be going their separate ways. Usually Yugi can look past that. He can enjoy the time he has with everyone, but, it must be the combination of everything this particularly rainy autumn day. Graduation, what he'll do after school, and what he should do as the keeper of the Millennium Puzzle versus what he wants.

Autumn... graduation is in March. He'll be nineteen afterwards. It'll have been three years since he solved the Millennium Puzzle and woke the spirit that resides in it. Only three years. It feels like a lifetime, but, one he's glad to have had. A lifetime that he can't help but feel is going to be ending sooner rather than later despite what everyone around him says.

He knows everyone has noticed how quiet he has been the last few days. Atem still has been rather distant from everyone since they arrived back home. Yugi has decided not to bother his other self with what is going on in his head. Oh, he's sure Atem has sensed it and has even figured it out, but, he's still contending with his own issues left over from Dartz. Yugi doesn't plan to complicate that more with his own emotional battles. He'll have to rely on just himself if Atem ever leaves anyways...

Yugi steps into the entrance way of the school to grab his shoes. That is when he notices Anzu standing outside underneath the cover of the entryway. He looks down - making sure that she doesn't notice him - before trying to make the mental leaps on how to avoid her inevitable questions if he has been alright. He doesn't want to think about it. As far as he can tell, she has chosen which one of the two she likes, and he can't blame her for that. He knows she isn't going to take I'm fine as an answer too much longer. He doesn't want to think about how she'll be leaving shortly after graduation to study abroad - just like she has always wanted to.

Everyone has someplace and somewhere they plan to go but him. Even his other self has a destined path that moves him forward. Maybe all Yugi is meant to do is make sure each of them go where they're supposed to go. That might be his role in all of it. What is the point of all of it then? He finally makes the friends he wants and then has to see them all leave him behind?

He sighs and pushes down his frustration. It'll just bring more unwanted attention to himself. Especially from the spirit of the Pharaoh who is most likely worried but hasn't addressed it all.

Yugi closes the locker door and stares at the ground for a moment. With a sidelong glance at Anzu outside, he turns his back to the front doors. He supposes what he is about to ask is highly uncharacteristic, but, he's probably entitled to some alone time in his own soul room after everything.

'Other Me?' He gently calls out in their shared link. Part of him hates to ask this because it must seem spineless to a person that commanded armies and controlled a kingdom. 'Can you do me a favor?' ]
ifthereiswill: ๐๐จ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ญ๐š๐ค๐ž, ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ž๐š๐ฌ๐ž. (๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™๐Ÿš | ๐•Š๐•ก๐•š๐•ฃ๐•š๐•ฅ)

[personal profile] ifthereiswill 2021-06-28 09:12 am (UTC)(link)
[ It is an interesting transition, that much is certain. Their days are quieter now, and Atem spends a lot more time inside his soul room with nothing but his thoughts and the endless staircases for company. But he always comes out when he feels as though Yugi needs a listening ear, and although they haven't had as many late night talks these days, he always tries to be there for his partner when he needs him. It's clear to him that both of them have a lot on their mind, and that just means that they both have to support each other as much as they can.

Atem can't quite grasp everything that's significant about the passage of time and the seemingly looming event known as graduation, but he can tell enough about the way Yugi feels to know that a separation is coming, and that it's one Yugi dreads very much.

It's been on Atem's mind lately to try and speak to Yugi again when a chance presents itself, but so far, it hasn't. Until today, that is. It doesn't really surprise him when Yugi suddenly reaches out, but he's quick to snap to attention. If Yugi's reaching out to him in a place that isn't his room, then there must be something important going on.

He materializes beside Yugi, a look of concern on his face. ]
Of course I can, Yugi. What do you need?
ifthereiswill: ๐๐จ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ญ๐š๐ค๐ž, ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ž๐š๐ฌ๐ž. (๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ›๐Ÿ›)

[personal profile] ifthereiswill 2021-06-29 05:39 am (UTC)(link)
[ Atem believes that what he does is important, as are the things that they've done together, but he'll also be the first to say that Yugi's life and his accomplishments in it are every bit as important, if not even surpassing his own. It's one thing to follow your own destiny, but it's another thing to just live a life and forge connections and leave your mark on the world.

As far as Atem is concerned, he must have had other priorities that didn't include leaving his own mark, because he doesn't know who he is, and the world in general seems to have forgotten him as well. There must be a reason for that, but he has no way of knowing what that is.

If his new responsibility is standing beside Yugi as he figures out where he fits into this world and what kind of legacy he hopes to leave behind, then that's just fine with him. He's always known that Yugi needs a friend, and perhaps now that all the dangerous duels with stakes none of them could have ever anticipated are in the past, he can focus on being that to his partner.

He certainly isn't thinking that Yugi is ridiculous or childish; in fact, he wishes sometimes that he could be more like him. He doesn't know what happened in his past, but he just has a feeling that something compelled him to grow up far too quickly. He's just happy that Yugi still retains a lot of his childhood innocence even though he's very clearly no longer a child. He wants him to hold onto that for as long as he can. ]


Take us home? [ He looks surprised for a moment, but that surprise softens into a kind of understanding. ] Of course, but I hope you'll let me ask you one question first: are you all right?
ifthereiswill: ๐๐จ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ญ๐š๐ค๐ž, ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ž๐š๐ฌ๐ž. (๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™ | ๐•Š๐•ก๐•š๐•ฃ๐•š๐•ฅ)

[personal profile] ifthereiswill 2021-06-29 08:54 am (UTC)(link)
[ Atem doesn't need to hear those specific words from Yugi to know that everything is not, in fact, all right. He can hear it in his tone of voice and see it in the way he's carrying himself. Something is on his partner's mind, and it's worrying him very much.

But he also knows that to ask Yugi a variety of questions about what is really going on with him might only cause his partner to retreat further, still putting on that brave face that isn't exactly necessary. If they can't talk plainly to each other, even when things get bad, then who can they talk to? ]


You know that you don't always have to be all right. It's all right if you fall sometimes. [ Of course, he reasons that Yugi could just have a touch of the blues, and that he'll bounce back in time. But if there's something deeper going on, he wants to let Yugi know that it's all right. After all, Atem himself fell hard not that long ago, and while he's still picking up the pieces, he's trying his best to move forward. ]

When you're ready, Yugi, you can always talk to me, or any of your friends. I know that each one of them would gladly spend time with you if you need their support.

[ He intends to offer all of his support too, in hopes that whatever seems to be bringing his friend down, that load he's carrying will lessen a bit. And as for any concerns that he may be leaving soon, Atem has come to the conclusion that he is not ready to go, not just yet. There are still things to do here and still people who need him for various reasons.

So as long as he remains present here, he intends to help Yugi navigate the storm that seems to be threatening him. It's only fair, after all; he had help when he had a storm that he was going through. Yugi should get the same consideration. ]


I'll bring us home. Don't you worry about that.
ifthereiswill: (๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿš๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™)

[personal profile] ifthereiswill 2021-06-29 06:53 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Atem can understand that feeling. It was how he felt when he'd lost Yugi. Of course, their friends wanted to help, and they wanted to know what he was thinking and feeling, but speaking to them was more than he could handle at the time. Of course, the circumstances are a little different, but if Atem knew that's what Yugi was thinking, he would definitely understand. ]

All right, then we'll talk about it later.

[ The last thing he intends to do is push Yugi into doing something he's not interested in or ready for. He hasn't yet realized that Anzu is standing close by, but he can tell from the way Yugi glances away, looking towards the entrance, that there's someone he's trying to avoid. The question is, why? It's Yugi's business, of course, but Atem would still like to find out what's bothering his friend so much.

When they finally make the switch and Yugi retreats into the soul room, Atem's expression shifts into one of concern. But Yugi's already gone, which clearly means he wants to be alone, so for the moment, Atem intends to respect that.

He turns to leave, passing through the entrance, and that's when he finally notices Anzu standing there. For just a second, he hesitates, because a little bit of Yugi's feelings came through to him, and now he wonders if maybe Yugi's having difficulty accepting that soon, he and his friends will all go their separate ways. Of course Yugi will miss Joey and Tristan, but what about Anzu? He's aware that Anzu has feelings for both of them, to varying degrees, but he's not certain how or what Anzu really feels for Yugi.

Of course, what he would like to see is Yugi and Anzu finally getting together, but Yugi's always protested that there's no point, because Anzu doesn't see him that way. Atem's hesitation continues as he debates with himself about whether or not he should approach Anzu and make another appeal to getting her to agree to spend time with Yugi, and not only as friends but on an actual date.

He can see Anzu starting to turn as though she's realized that he's standing there, and ordinarily, he would stay and talk with her, but his concern for Yugi trumps his desire to see the two of them come together. It's quick, but he ducks behind the nearest column and attempts sneaking away.

Luckily, Anzu doesn't approach, so Atem's able to make his escape. It takes him a few more minutes to finish the journey back to Yugi's house, and once there, he goes straight up to their room. Fortunately, Solomon isn't anywhere present, probably in a back room somewhere, so his arrival also goes unnoticed.

Once he's settled, he doesn't waste time joining Yugi inside the Puzzle, intending to knock on the door to his soul room. ]


Yugi, could I come in for just a moment?

[ If he's rebuffed, he'll withdraw, but only temporarily. They have to talk, and he'd rather not put this off for too long. ]
ifthereiswill: (๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ๐Ÿ™)

[personal profile] ifthereiswill 2021-06-30 08:49 am (UTC)(link)
[ If Atem had seen those messages before he knocked on Yugi's door, he definitely would have answered Anzu, agreeing without any hesitation to the idea of her and Yugi hanging out. Would it have been a little underhanded? Yes. Does he want to see his partner and best friend finally get together with the girl he's in love with? Absolutely.

For the moment, though, his priority is helping his partner with whatever is bothering him. He waits for Yugi to open the door, not even entertaining the possibility that he won't let him in. They're more than friends and partners: they're brothers too. And he doesn't intend to just leave Yugi alone with his thoughts when there might be something he can do to help.

Finally, the door opens and Atem slowly steps inside. The first thing he notices is how the toys and games are no longer scattered all around the floor. It makes him feel sad, as if he's realizing that this might be a sign of Yugi beginning to grow up and putting away his childhood. Of course, he reasons that everyone has to grow up sometime, but he still doesn't want to see Yugi lock that part of himself away too soon.

More concerning, however, is the way that Yugi doesn't even look at him or make eye contact. He mentally chastises himself for not talking to Yugi about this sooner. They're supposed to help each other when one of them is falling, and it's clear to him that Yugi really needs help now.

He can't force Yugi to meet his gaze, so instead, he just decides to wait and carry on a conversation as normally as possible. ]


No, but she did send these messages to you. [ He pulls out the phone and holds it out to Yugi so that he can see what Anzu said. ] She wants to be there for you, Yugi.
ifthereiswill: (๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿก๐Ÿž)

[personal profile] ifthereiswill 2021-07-01 08:38 am (UTC)(link)
[ Everything Atem's thinking flees from his mind the second he sees tears begin falling from Yugi's eyes. In just a few seconds, he's standing right in front of him, reaching for his hands, hoping he'll let him take hold and not pull away. ]

Yugi, your friends may leave, but I am confident that it won't be forever. You'll see them again, and there are ways to stay connected. [ He might not really understand all of those ways, because some technologies are ones he's still trying to adjust to, but he knows that just because there is some distance between friends, that doesn't mean they'll never talk to each other again. ]

As for me, I don't plan on going anywhere. Lunafreya may leave for a time because of her responsibilities, but I'm confident that she'll return when she's able to.

It may only be the two of us for a little while, but our friends will still be with us.

[ And then it seems as though Yugi's just continuing to reveal the heart of the matter, what's really bothering him. ]

Who says that you do, Yugi? Surely it's possible to have what you desire most and still fulfill your responsibilities. It doesn't have to be done perfectly.

[ If he's learned anything from his time here, it's that sometimes even the best laid plans don't always go exactly as expected. ]

What is it that you want the most? There must be a way for us to make sure that you get it.

[ And if there is a way, he intends to stand beside Yugi until they find a way to reach it. ]
ifthereiswill: (๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿš๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ˜)

[personal profile] ifthereiswill 2021-07-03 09:24 am (UTC)(link)
[ Atem just remains silent then, sensing that everything Yugi's saying are thoughts and feelings that he needs to give voice to. But soon enough, he finds that he can't stay silent anymore, and the grip he has on his friend's hands tightens.

Of course it's true that he's still working through his own feelings and emotions, but he can push those away in favor of trying to help his partner navigate his own storm. He still has a long way to go before he'll feel like himself again, but suddenly, it's become clear to him that his own personal battles aren't as important as the emotions that Yugi is trying to brave his way through. And the thing is, he doesn't have to do it alone, because he intends to stand by him. ]


But you're so much more than just that, Yugi. You're your own person, and you have your own things that you need to do for you. And that includes taking care of yourself.

[ Atem's worry and concern for his friend just grows with every word he hears from him, and all the guilt that he's been trying to navigate fades into the background as he puts all his focus and attention onto Yugi. ]

Then don't do it. Do what you want to, not what you're expected to. [ And then he smiles, hoping to reassure him at least a little. ] And by the way: I'm going to stay right here. I won't be going anywhere. [ And he doesn't have to do anything, let alone leave. ]

You couldn't ever fail me. [ He won't be giving voice to this, because it's something he has to address, but he's the one who failed Yugi first, even though he's trying to move on from that. ]

I don't understand how I do it either. [ He means that too. ] I wouldn't be able to do anything if I didn't have you and all our friends behind me.

[ He's not certain if his words are helping, or if they're even reaching his partner, but he's trying. ]

Yugi, the only thing you have to do is to just be yourself. You won't be failing me, or letting me down.

[ You're only letting yourself down. Again, he leaves that thought unsaid, because he thinks it wouldn't help Yugi to hear it. ]

You've been a good friend, the greatest friend that I could have ever asked for.

[ He pauses for just a moment, and then he adds: ]

I wouldn't be where I am or who I am right now if our paths had never crossed. You are doing your part, and you have been this whole time.

[ Atem might still have his doubts about himself and his worth, but one thing he is completely clear on is that Yugi is doing more than enough just by being himself. ]
ifthereiswill: (๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿก๐Ÿก)

[personal profile] ifthereiswill 2021-07-04 09:30 am (UTC)(link)
[ Atem can feel all those things coming off his partner, and suddenly, he finds himself unsure what to do or say. He could go on reassuring him forever that he's not failing in his responsibilities, that it's his responsibility to himself to take care of himself and not push himself too hard. And Atem knows with complete certainty that Yugi could never hold him back.

If he no longer wishes to regain his memories, then that's his choice, and not at all because he's doing it because he believes it's what Yugi wants. He's decided that if he stays, it's because he can't bear to be separated from his partner and his friends. Regaining his memories is something he wants, but he wants to stay with them more. ]


I don't know how else to explain that I'm here because I want to be, and that whatever happens, I'll still be right here.

[ He may be unsure about some things in his life, but one thing he is absolutely sure of is this: he'll stay with Yugi for as long as he wants him to. ]
ifthereiswill: ๐๐จ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ญ๐š๐ค๐ž, ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ž๐š๐ฌ๐ž. (๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿž๐Ÿ™ | ๐•จ๐•š๐•ฅ๐•™ ๐•๐•ฆ๐•˜๐•š)

[personal profile] ifthereiswill 2021-07-05 01:19 am (UTC)(link)
[ He's still standing there waiting, unsure what his next moves or next words should be, but before he can do anything, Yugi's closing the distance between them and wrapping his arms around him. His eyebrows lift, but he doesn't pull back; instead, he leans in, placing his own arms around his partner.

If it's possible for comfort and reassurance to pass through a hug, then Atem means to stand there with his arms around Yugi until he eventually pulls away. He certainly won't be making the first move.

Of course, he feels that there should be more that he can do to lift Yugi's spirits, but maybe this is a step in the right direction. It might take some time, but however long it takes, Atem intends to be right by his side.

As far as he's concerned, even if all their friends move to other parts of the country, even other parts of the world, at least they'll still be together. And if someone or some thing tries to pull them apart, Atem's resolved to fight as hard as he can in order to prevent that. ]

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ifthereiswill: (๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿš๐Ÿ™๐ŸŸ)

[personal profile] ifthereiswill 2021-10-08 05:41 am (UTC)(link)
[ For Atem, it's been a quiet night. In a way, it's been a welcome change from how things have been lately, and for the most part, he hasn't minded having nothing else to do but either relax inside his soul room or climb the endless stairs as he tends to do when he needs to pass the time.

It's difficult to tell just how many hours have passed since Yugi went out for the evening, but in spite of himself, Atem finds himself growing restless, feeling as though his partner should be returning soon.

He has many questions for him, namely about how the date went, what the two of them did, and what they talked about. It's not an exaggeration to say that he's been eagerly waiting for the chance to pelt his partner with questions about his night.

Still, it takes him a handful of moments to realize that Yugi's returned and has made himself comfortable on the bed in what has become their shared room. Once he does, he doesn't hesitate to exit the soul room and greet his partner with a somewhat rare grin that betrays his excitement. ]


Did you and Anzu have a good time, Yugi? [ He all but blurts out the question instead of a customary greeting, further indicating how curious and interested he is in learning how it went. ]
ifthereiswill: (๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ  โ˜†)

[personal profile] ifthereiswill 2021-10-14 10:28 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Atem tries his best to keep a straight face when he sees Yugi almost fall off the bed and land onto the dog that's been faithfully waiting with them. That's another question that he needs to address at some point, but for the moment, his focus is on Yugi.

He lets out an equally rare chuckle in response to Yugi's exclamation. ]


I would have waited up the rest of the night, if the two of you decided to remain out for a longer period of time.

[ It would have been worth it to him. And besides, it isn't as though he requires sleep. The hours don't really make much difference to him. ]

But yes, sorry, Umbra.

[ He reaches out to pat the dog on the head before once again looking back at his partner. ]

Then I suppose that means that the two of you will have to go out another time so that you can do more of what she wished to do.

[ This time, he can't stop the smile that crosses his face, fully aware that he's teasing Yugi, but genuinely meaning it as well. ]
ifthereiswill: ๐๐จ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ญ๐š๐ค๐ž, ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ž๐š๐ฌ๐ž. (pic#15023749)

[personal profile] ifthereiswill 2021-10-17 11:13 pm (UTC)(link)
[ It does feel good to laugh again, something that he hasn't done in what feels like forever. ]

Oh, yes. [ He hadn't forgotten that Yugi has outside responsibilities such as school; he just got so caught up in his excitement about his date with Anzu that it slipped his mind until Yugi's reminder just now. ] You shouldn't stay up too late, then.

[ He doesn't intend to keep his partner up too much longer. The date went as well as possible, and that's all he could have hoped for.

When Yugi turns the question back to him about what he did while he was out, he shrugs, but his smile remains. ]


I thought more about shogi and how to play it. Of course, without an actual board in front of me, it was more of a challenge.

[ But what does he like more than a challenge, after all? ]

I tried to use what I know so far to think about some strategies. [ He won't be able to test any of them until they're actually able to play, and even he can't say how good they are, since this is a game he isn't familiar with. ]