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outlierdirector) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
synthneon2023-11-29 09:38 pm
outlierdirector) wrote in synthneon2023-11-29 09:38 pm
Entry tags:
oceanview (different path) || ❝ turn the page i need to see something new. ❞
You were there by my side on the frontline
When I thought that I fought without a cause
You gave me a reason to try
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A roll of his eyes.
Another adjustment of the cuff links. ]
{ I bet you're trying some clever way to deny anything I've said. You know, that's one of your biggest problems. You won't just take life by the balls and ride the wave, man! Consequences? Ha, not a problem for someone famous and wealthy like you. That's why I'll be a better you than you EVER were. You know what? I'll be such a better you that I'm not even going to screw around with making Alice's life miserable. You already did that enough! }
[ A finger raises and that curled grin distorts on his face. ]
{ Let's not beat around the bush. We both know that pretty red head is anything but ordinary, despite what her annoying brother sings. } Mr. Scratch rolls his eyes dramatically. Then, he sits straight and leans forward. { Jesse is... wow. Extraordinary. Impressive. Amazing. POWERFUL. She just has no idea yet. That's where I'm going to step in. Let her see me now and again. Think "OH my god, Alan's back!"
See the thing about her? She's PERFECT for tuning. It's just tuning her to the right frequency. Mine, that is. Did you think I was being metaphorical about blocking out the star? Ha, come on! We BOTH can't be shitty at metaphors. }
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Why wouldn't I deny what you're saying? Why would I even listen to anything you're saying? Have you ever been truthful about anything? And that shows how much you know about me and my life, but why should I tell you anything about myself when you've already decided you know all there is to know?
[ The glare he gives at the screen is absolutely rage-filled, but Alan forces himself to try and push down the strong reaction. He hates Mr. Scratch with a passion; that much is obvious. But that hate only grows with each mention of Alice and Jesse. ]
You know what? I do have something on you, something you won't ever guess. And you know why you won't guess it? It's because you can't guess it. You don't think like real people do... like actual, living people. I don't even know why I bother talking to you. It's like talking to a wall, except the wall would be more interesting.
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{ You're probably trying to sound heroic. Chest pushed out. Confident. No one really buys you're that way. Hell, YOU don't believe it. I know. I'm you, after all. I'm not sure what Jesse sees in you. Then again, you don't either.
Fine by me. I'll make sure she sees the best of us, because I'M the best. I got everything you don't. But, we both know that. }
[ Mr. Scratch sighs. He stands, reaches over for his black suit jacket. He tugs it on, gently pulling the sleeves down. He runs a hand through his hair and starts making his way to the door. ]
{ Well, I've got places to be. Parties. Deals to make. Maybe I'll find my way to Jesse while you're running loops. }
[ And then, the video cuts on the television. ]
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He just keeps on talking until finally he makes what sounds like a parting comment, and Alan's glare only deepens as he looks at the man on the screen. ]
You'll never find Jesse, not while I'm around. Not while she doesn't want you to find her.
[ The video cuts, and the screen winks off, turning to a black, empty screen. Alan just stands there for a minute staring at it as if he's not sure what he should do now. Rejoining Jesse seems like a good idea, but part of him thinks he won't be able to sleep after all that, so while he decides what he should do, he just remains there standing until he decides to turn around and face the bed and Jesse, as if that will give him the burst of inspiration he needs. ]
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Almost like there's an interference.
It's not the same as when she tries to reach out to Polaris. The feeling as if it's a void. Nothing is there and nothing fills it. The feeling that fills her when Alan speaks to the television is almost like a static. A building sound in her until it merges and blends together to make a completely different sound in her mind.
« ...Water? No, they're like waves. Waves of an ocean, not a lake... »
Her eyes widen and Jesse sits up immediately. It takes a moment for her to press the blankets to cover her and for the sound of waves to disappate. She feels cold. Wet. Even though she's dry.
Jesse's gaze snaps to the corners of the room. The places where it's the darkest.
« It... it feels like when the Dark Presence was chasing us in Bright Falls. But... I don't know. Stronger. Like it's slimmed down to a single shape instead of being like a cloud or wind...
Polaris.
Are you there?
I don't want to be alone here. » ]
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But then he watches as she stirs and opens her eyes, and he sees her sit up suddenly. So much for not disturbing her.
Maybe he should leave. Maybe he should back off and let her do whatever it is that she's doing. Maybe she should get some time to herself; he'd probably just go and sit outside, not straying too far from her because he doesn't want to be too far from her.
But he doesn't want to even do that, because what if Mr. Scratch comes back? Who knows what words he'd whisper to her in the darkness, thinking that they're alone together? What words would she whisper back, if any? Would she even say anything to him? Alan shakes his head. He doesn't want to even think about that possibility.
He's not sure if he's intruding on something, something private between herself and her guide, but he takes a step closer, followed by another one. He opens his mouth to say something, except he realizes at the last second that words aren't exactly forthcoming right now.
If nothing else, he can at least say this much: ]
Uh, did I wake you up?
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« What did I do wrong? »
Her head tilts in Alan's direction before looking over her shoulder at him. Her gaze looks haunted, feeling that darkness brush against her mind. Not quite to the level that Alan or even Rose Merigold experienced. ]
No. It wasn't you.
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He still wonders if it's his fault that the connection seems to have gone quiet. But they have other things to figure out now, and so he focuses his attention on her, noting the expression on her face. In light of what he's just seen, he wonders if she picked up on it somehow. ]
Don't tell me you saw him too.
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[ If she shares more he might insist she stays behind. Again. That he alone goes off into the night. Despite what he said just a handful of hours ago. Jesse isn't going to let that happen. She's walking with him into the dark this time. She'll bring him home then they'll find Dylan.
Jesse looks back up at him. ] Sorry if you've been waiting on me to wake up.
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I don't know if it's nothing. It- it feels like it's something.
[ He doesn't want to insist that she stay behind; he doesn't want to be alone with no one else in the dark with him. But how can he ask her to come with him? It's something he's still wrestling with even now.
He shakes his head. ] It hasn't been that long. I hope you got to sleep a little.
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Jesse's gaze stays forward on the ground in front of them. She has a feeling she knows why. Waves. Lake. Something tied to Cauldron Lake is trying to fill in the place Polaris used to occupy. Her hand curls on the blanket pressed to her bare chest.
Something dark. Not the Dark Presence... something like it.
She doesn't want to worry him. He is already preoccupied with the story and the people involved. Her issues can wait. After all, he isn't home, right? He couldn't help with them. Not until she stays with him once they end this story.
« I'm not being lrft behind again. By him or you. Not that you answer. » ]
Enough... probably. [ She dares to look back up at him. The haunted look remains in her eyes, but she says nothing about it for now. ] It's morning... so where to now?
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He finds himself reaching out for her, reaching for the hand she has curled into the blanket. He wants to touch her; he wants to hold her, if she'll let him. Honestly, he doesn't want to think about the story right now; he just wants to think about her. ]
Just probably? Are you sure you don't want to lie down again for a little while? [ He sees the haunted look in her eyes, and he hates that it's there at all. How can he help get rid of it? ]
Maybe we should stay here a little longer. [ He figures she'll see right through that and figure out that he doesn't actually know where they should go next. There's several options on the table and he can't decide which one makes the most sense. ]
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It doesn't matter to her at the moment that he has no idea where to go or what they should do next. They need to enjoy this moment. She has no intention of leaving him or being left behind. ]
Yeah. I like the sound of that. [ Especially considering that both of them have no clothes on. ] I ... it's not good. Whatever it is trying to contact me.
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It's not... is it the Dark Presence? [ He shakes his head as his frown deepens. ] It can't have you. It can't get in.
[ I won't let it. ]
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[ She won't tell him how if she closes her eyes and focuses on the feeling she could tell what that being looks like. The mental image is in her mind and the hair on her arms stands up. Suit, a twisted smile, wearing Alan's face. It's not Alan, but people would think it if all they knew was him on the television.
« It's not Alan. »
She leans into him more. She doesn't want to have conversations pretending he's home and what they'd do together. She can't pretend. All she wants to do is feel him and be with him in this moment. She wants to let him in all the way as she had before. That way they can hit that special place that only they seem to know.
Could she do it without Polaris? Her friend was the one that interacted with whatever it was inside Alan.
« I don't want to feel alone in the dark anymore. » ]
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[ He has a sinking feeling that he doesn't really want confirmed, but that feeling is telling him she's picked up on his own mental image and recollection of what happened, and he doesn't like that one bit. He wanted to spare her that, to keep her from knowing what he'd seen.
But apparently even his wishes on that topic weren't enough to make it so. When she leans against him, he follows suit, leaning slightly against her in return. If she wants to just feel him and be with him, then the least he can do is provide that. ]
Never mind. It doesn't matter, does it? All that matters right now is us. [ In the grand scheme, he knows that's not true, but surely in the middle of this insanity, they can carve out time for just them and nothing else.
He leans in, lightly brushing the side of his face against hers, and he stays like that, because it feels good. It feels right. ]
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« Screw it. He'll probably find out somehow. » ]
It feels like it's trying to be you. It's not. It's nothing like you.
[ She lifts her head in order to look at him properly. He's aged a little. Bags under the eyes, and more scruff than she remembers him having. His hair is still short. She can look in his gray eyes and still see Alan Wake. He may doubt himself, but Jesse still sees the man who found determination despite the fear and uncertainty.
She really does love him.
A hand raises to his face and she rests the palm of her cheek against the skin. ]
You're Alan Wake... and whatever he is? Whatever it is? It just imitates you.
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[ He looks down and glares at his hands. The floor. Anything that's right in front of him. ]
Why doesn't that surprise me? What other bad turns can this all take? I don't want it taking over, I don't want people thinking that I've suddenly gone bad. That wouldn't surprise anyone, really, but- I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do the things the Dark Presence or the boogeyman or whatever the hell it is would do.
[ His hands clench into fists as his frustrations rise. It's not just frustration either; it's fear, worry, anxiety... Maybe all three of those words mean the same thing, but it's how Alan feels. He's not really reacting well, even if he's not lashing out or pulling away. He might be recoiling inwardly as his nerves rise, but the one thing that gets him to stop is the feel of her hand resting against his face. ]
How do you know that? How can you even be sure?
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Her gaze drifts to the side. A pretty lacking explanation. That's unlike Alan. Maybe that's just who this thing is. The Boogeyman. Trying to be Alan Wake. ]
You really think that I have no idea who you are after all this? I don't just let people in... I don't just ... love anyone. You think I wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the Dark Presence, something like it, and you?
[ She bristles at the idea. After eveythting. Really? ]
I didn't end up homeless because I'm irresponsible. I kept insisting things ... to my forced therapist. They insisted I wasn't safe to work. I couldn't pay bills. All because I know the truth and they think I'm insane for knowing what really happened in Bright Falls. Ordinary.
That you're not dead.
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I don't think that, but this... this isn't just as easy as... Invasion of the Body Snatchers or whatever.
[ Alan's hands clench into fists; he doesn't have a lot of concrete facts here, but part of him thinks that Jesse may not always be able to tell him apart. Or maybe that's just his fear that he's trying and failing to bury. ]
What if it's so convincing that even you can't tell me apart?
[ He looks away for a second then, only to look back at her a second later, and then it seems to him that he's gotten his answer. ]
I know. I believe you. [ He doesn't know how, only that he believes her without question. ]
You know the truth, and the Dark Presence can't fool you. I just have to remember that, and not let it make me forget. It's going to try and make me forget, but I can't do that. I have to remember that you know the truth.
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Why would the Dark Presence steal things from him? Doesn't it need him to write a story to let it out like before?
Jesse shifts. One leg moves over his to sit herself in his lap. The sheet is the only thing that separates their bare bodies. Green eyes latch onto his gray ones immediately. She may not have the glimmer that a version he met of her once upon a time does, but she does have her own natural power. One that demands all the focus on her when she isn't hiding. ]
You came to me originally. Remember? You needed my help. So... you need to trust my instincts. Okay?
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He doesn't know what she's thinking, or that she's wondering if he's so afraid of being taken or stolen or losing himself to the Dark Presence, but he would feel the slightest bit of embarrassment if he knew she'd guessed at his mindset and thoughts.
But then she shifts, moving her leg over his and positioning herself in his lap. He wants to look away, to avoid her gaze, but with her sitting where she is and with how close they are together, he finds that hard to do. Her eyes are latched onto his, and he finds her presence so magnetizing that he can't look away. His eyes lift to meet hers, and they stay there, riveted by her and how close she is.
He can't hide when she's looking at him like that. Maybe he can't hide at all. ]
... Yeah. Yeah, I did. I- I need your help still. It's just- [ I'm scared. Terrified, even. ]
How do you fight something like this? People aren't supposed to fight insane darkness monsters or whatever the hell this is. But... [ His focus returns in full, and even though there's visible fear in his eyes, he doesn't look away. ] If you can help... [ He takes a breath, because he can't remember the last time he trusted someone like this. ]
Then I'm going to trust you.
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[ Technically, she forced his hand to instruct her how to get to him. Even then, he was the one that sent the message looking for her. Alan called out to her and she answered. She just how he came to her in Bright Falls and she helped.
Jesse raises her hands and puts them on either side of his face. ]
People aren't supposed to fight darkness monsters? [ Her eyebrows narrow slightly. ] Things like this are everywhere, Alan. Even if they're not always the Dark Presence. I don't know how it happens. Why it happens. There's... it's like a poster on the wall. Everyone is looking at it. Sometimes something creeps out from behind the poster, through this ... this hole it's covering. Ordinary. Bright Falls. They're real. People fight them. Where else do urban legends and folk stories come from?
Polaris... she was something like it. But, good. Nice. [ « Before you went away. » ] I trusted her to help me stop what happened in Ordinary. You trusted her to help do whatever it was you did in Bright Falls. She's gone--it's just me. So, I'll do whatever I can. Whatever you tell me.
...maybe you'll come home that way.
[ She leans against him, eyes never leaving his. She can feel the gentleness of that tug towards him. The gravitational that Alan always seems to have when it comes to her. A pull that she can't ignore and always turns her head towards him. No matter where he is. ]
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[ Even if she did force his hand, he can still be grateful that she showed up for him. He missed her, and he couldn't help but be afraid that he'd never see her again, no matter what promises they made to each other.
His eyes lower and his gaze falls, but then he feels her hands slide into place against his face, and he slowly looks up at her again. ]
You know what I mean. Doctors don't fight darkness monsters. Surgeons. Teachers. Librarians. Things like this might be everywhere, but that doesn't mean everyone sees the darkness. [ A pause. ] Maybe they see the poster but do they see what comes out from behind it? People fight them, but only certain people. People like you and me. Other people don't believe in it. They don't believe in what's behind the poster.
The monster under the bed doesn't exist. The urban legends and folk stories exist, but that's all they are to some people: legends and stories. How do you make people believe that the monsters are real?
[ He gives an involuntary shudder in spite of himself. ]
Polaris is going to come back. [ He pauses again. ] She'll come back, just like I'm going to come back. I'm going to come home.
[ If he says it enough, maybe he'll start to believe it.
She leans against him, and Alan feels or hears something urging him to pull her even closer to him, so that's exactly what he does. There shouldn't be anything separating them, not even the smallest space of inches. Even an inch is too far apart, somehow. They're supposed to be together, and if the darkness tries to stop them, well- then Alan's going to be one of those who fights the darkness whenever he needs to, and even if he doesn't need to. ]
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You can't make people believe in them. They have to see it themselves and accept it... and most people never will. It's why we're special.
[ Special because I have someone who believes.
Her eyes flick down to his lips then dart back to the gray ones she loves. He tugs her closer. She presses against him entirely with only the sheet separating them. Keeping them from being skin to skin. The fact they had been intimate the night before seems hardly relevant as that pull drums louder and louder in her head. ]
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