oceanview (different path) || ❝ turn the page i need to see something new. ❞

[outlierdirector]

a different path,
the same road.

When I thought that I fought this war alone
You were there by my side on the frontline
When I thought that I fought without a cause
You gave me a reason to try CODE BY TESSISAMESS

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[crazyisinevitable]

[ There's a way to come home from the night and we are going to find it.

The words resonate in Alan's mind, or at least, they attempt to, but he's not sure if he truly believes them yet. He wants to believe, and he wants to have hope that he'll find his way back home one day, but everything seems so impossible. Hopeless, even.

I can't give up. I have to keep trying. I have to keep believing. She's not giving up, so I can't give up either.

Before he can do or say anything else, however, he senses a shift in her demeanor, her attitude. Her composure. She seems desperate, unsettled. She pushes herself against him, and he wraps his arms around her to pull her closer.

He doesn't really know what he's doing, short of holding her and hoping his closeness helps somehow. Helps with what? He doesn't have an answer to that unspoken question.

But if she's looking, she might notice that the lights around them are glowing a little brighter, and they're even beginning to gradually shine a little brighter, growing in brightness a second at a time. Alan himself hasn't noticed anything; he's just holding onto her, hoping that somehow, this helps. What if it doesn't? What if nothing I do helps?

As far as he can tell, he's still in the dark. Oh, there's the street lamps, but they seem dim to Alan's eyes. He can't tell that it's growing brighter, or that the brightness seems to be coming from him.

Maybe he's in too deep to see the light for himself anymore. ]

[outlierdirector]

[ She can feel how the Darkness tries to creep up the back of her mind. How it tries to take the place Polaris had once been in. The Darkness had Alan's face. Slicked back hair, a suit, and an easy grin.

{ Come on, Jess. We both now the guy is screwed. He ain't coming home to you. He doesn't even want to really come home. I promise he's given up on the whole thing. This little stint? It's just the final goodbye tour. }

No. NO. He's coming home. You're wrong.

Jesse feels the light more than she sees it, with her attention split between Alan and the encroaching feeling and words in her mind. She presses her mouth to his, trying to keep his full attention on her. They can kiss, go another round, either way is fine with her. Just as long as all their attention is on each other to beat back the horrors of the night.

Even if it is morning. ]

[crazyisinevitable]

[ He can't know what internal fight Jesse is having, only that something is threatening to disturb her calm and her composure and doing its best to unsettle her. This isn't a moment for overthinking and overanalyzing; he just lets his thoughts take a backseat to his instincts and desires, choosing instead to just press a kiss against her lips in return.

They don't have to get too deep into intimacy, going all the way again, unless that's what she wants; if she just wants to kiss and feel each other that way, he's more than happy to oblige.

If this helps keep the horrors lurking around at bay, then he'll do what he has to, in order to keep both of them together and as safe as they can be from what lurks inside and outside. ]

[outlierdirector]

[ The horrors that lurk are the ones that Alan contends with. The ones that he fights against from taking his place. The Dark wants her to believe that it's him, but, Jesse knows that it's not Alan. He doesn't talk that way, write that way, or see her as another way to boost his ego.

He loves her.

And she loves him.

Jesse kisses him back, trying to figure out how to pour all her love into the motion. Just like he does. She's said she loves him--declared it for the first time. Does he know how much it means that she said it? That she's trying to show him through actions? Is any of it reaching him or is she throwing the words into the night?

Words try to form in her mind to answer the questions. She knows it's not Alan. He can't answer in her mind. ]

[crazyisinevitable]

[ He has no doubts that she loves him; everything she does makes that incredibly clear to him. He doesn't need to hear grand speeches from her in order for him to know that she loves him. The fact that she's still here, still fighting alongside him as much as the story allows means the world to him.

Every kiss, every touch- it all underlines it in bold. He also knows that admissions like that aren't easy for her; opening up, putting her feelings out there in the open... it's not something she does easily.

He knows that, and it means more to him than he can say. It's an extremely cliched idea, but maybe between the two of them, they can stop the darkness in its tracks. Having Polaris around certainly helps too.

Suddenly feeling a burst of confidence, Alan presses his lips firmly but not roughly against Jesse's. The darkness isn't going to take either of them, not if he has anything to say about it.

He's kissing her as hungrily as before when he feels something nudging him, tugging at him. What is it? It's nothing he recognizes, nothing he's felt before. Is it the story telling him they need to move?

Maybe they should move, and the darkness that's threatening them will stay behind. Maybe that's only wishful thinking. ]