synthneon | au au || ❝ our fate so darkly romantic, i will never leave your side. ❞

[ It is difficult for him to explain, much less put it into words, but all he wants is to ask that she not leave him. Perhaps it is a selfish request, one that he has no right to make, and yet he wants her here. But what can he offer her? His possessions are few, and what he does have is considerably old. He would give all of it to her, of course, but she deserves so much more than an old vampire and his even older belongings.

Still, there is no ignoring his wish to no longer be alone, just as there is no preventing his hand from straying from her own hand to the very tip of her tail that she has placed beside him. He does not pull on it nor do anything that would cause her discomfort; instead, he lightly runs his fingers over it, perhaps with a hint of shyness and hesitation. Perhaps he should have asked permission, although he remembers touching her tail before, but perhaps she no longer welcomes those touches, deeming them too forward and uncomfortable.

She asks a question, a simple response to his stating of her name, and the answer immediately forms. He draws a breath as if the act of speaking still requires effort on his part, but he manages to respond: ]

Stay. [ It could be mistaken for a command, but it is more of a request, a plea that she remain with him. ] Please.

[ If he could make the request more eloquent, he would, but it seems that those two words will have to be enough. ]

[ As she waits for his answer, she realizes she is not entirely certain what she is expecting? Words? Actions? Perhaps she was much better at communicating with him in her past life. Of course, he is sick and injured. Asking him to speak or even direct is asking quite a bit much from him at this stage. She should ease him back to sleep now that he has eaten instead of attempting to hold a conversation with him.

Her ears perk as he touches her tail. Her eyes widen before moving to see him pet the tip. A deep blush takes her face before her shoulders curl. There is no notion to stop him or shy away. If anything, she is simply embarrassed because she had not expected it. No one has ever touched her tail in such a manner, and honestly, she would have expected him not to wish to in this life.

A gentle nod is given to his request. She guides him to once more rest his head against her bosom as she brushes her hair. She would kiss the top of his head, reassure him with gentle words. Such normal things feel as if they are out of place or not truly right for her to do. What has she done for him in this life to truly aid him? ]

I will. [ She offers a smile again. ] You should rest again. We... we can talk more after wards. I-if you wish.

[ He realizes then that even if she does leave him, he will have committed what he can remember of their time together to memory so that he can call upon it when he is in need of comfort. And that need for comfort is why he reached for her tail in the first place, even as he continues to slowly pet it. He is not yet fully healed nor recovered, and so he is far needier than he might be if he was not wounded and still recovering.

But he is comfortable now, or as comfortable as he can be under the circumstances. She has even fed him and allowed him to rest with his head against her bosom. A small smile causes his lips to turn upwards in response to her continued brushing of his hair. How long as it been since he was comforted like this? If she were to press a kiss to his head, he would only grow even more at ease, but he is quite at ease already.

He does feel the need to doze off once more, but he does not want to sleep so deeply that he cannot see her as she does whatever she has been engaging in to pass the time. ]

I- [ Again he has to labor to speak, but he must say something before he allows himself to rest once more. ] If there is anything you need... [ Aside from food, as he knows he does not have anything suitable for her to eat in the house... But what he does have is as good as hers. ] You may take it. [ It may be covered by several layers of dust and be quite old besides, but if there is anything that meets her needs, he would have her use it. ]

[ The blush on her cheeks deepens as he continues to pet her tail. Not from dislike or even an unwanted notion. The motion is familiar, and yet, it also is something that feels brand new. Small ripples of enjoyment spread up her spine that make her ears twitch. Her tail also twitches under his hand in a way that he would be able to recognize.

Her head tilts as he continues to speak. Rather, as he attempts it once more. Then, her eyes widen. Anything that she might need? From his home? Surely, he couldn't mean that he intends to share it with her. He hardly knows her in this life. What if, once he has recovered, he sees how much she is not like he remembers? That he sees how pathetic she is in this life, and cannot hold a candle to her previous life, let alone the ancient life they shared in which he fell in love with her. ]

I am more concerned for you right now. We can talk about the other things once you've recovered. [ Her smile turns watery. Surely he will turn her away once he can truly see her and not the memories of who she once was. Her knight deserves a proper lady... not her. ] I will see to your wounds as you sleep.

[ Suddenly, before he even knows what is happening, the expression on his face shifts, taking with it the relatively placid, expressionless one that he had worn previously. The look in his eyes suggests longing, perhaps even sadness, and where he had been feeling comfortable just moments ago, now he seems almost distressed.

There is so much that he wishes to tell her, but his own weakness is preventing him from speaking freely, and that is what is contributing to his sudden state of upset. Of course, this is his own doing. He neglected himself, and thus his weakness and present frailty is his own fault. Still, he wants to tell her that he missed her and that he loves her, and that if she wishes to, they can turn this home into their home, a place that they share.

A watery sheen forms over his eyes, but he quickly shuts them so as to prevent Phya from seeing. For anyone to witness his sudden descent into vulnerability and letting his inner feelings show feels all but unthinkable and unforgivable in his mind. Of course, if there was any one person that he would allow to see him in such a state, it would be her. But even with that knowledge, he fears that she might see him react this way and judge him for being too weak.

After all, he allowed himself to deteriorate to the state that he is in. If she detests him for giving up, it would only be fair. But even though his eyes remain closed, he does not stop stroking her tail. It is comforting, even though his swirling emotions are beginning to increase in volume, drowning out the reassurance the gesture brings. ]

[ Eyebrows furrow at his reaction. Why is he upset so suddenly? The look of longing is one she can certainly relate to, as it echos deep within her own heart. Other than that... had she upset him? Had he realized he drank her blood and found it distasteful? Of course, she can hardly ask him in his state, but it does not stop her from worrying. Perhaps all she might do is worry for him as she is not certain she truly helps him.

She begins to move to ease him to the bed. Then, she stops. Her ears twitch and raise as a pounding sound reaches them. Phya's attention moves from Aymeric for the first time back to the entryway to the room. The barrier had slipped mind until now. The feeling she had gotten was the magic was most certainly hers, and that must be true, as a familiar face pounds on the barrier to get her attention.

Ser Tiberius Darrowbane.

He's angry, and yet she senses he is worried as well. His eyes move from her to Aymeric and then back to her. With one slow blink it all slips into place. Why the townspeople had been so dodgy of the questions of their lord; why Ser Darrowbane was so determined to keep them from their lord. Everyone in the town must be aware, to some degree, that Aymeric is a vampire. Furthermore, none knew the state he was in other than Ser Darrowbane.

She looks down to the man in her arms with a soft smile before easing him back to the bed. A quick brush of his bangs before she turns and rushes to the barrier. The knight stares down at her in frustrated worry, glancing back at the man in the bed. ]

I-I'm certain you know of his wounds, Ser. M-maybe he refused to let any of you treat him. But, [ she glances back to Aymeric, ] I need proper bandages for his wounds. I can treat the infection, and heal him, but a cloth is hardly enough to aid in such things...

[ The knight stares into her very soul as if searching for answers he does not ask out loud. His voice is muffled by the barrier, but she can still make out what he says: ] How the hell did you get past the barrier?! No one can!

I... that's... please, I need the supplies for your lord. [ Her ears bend to her head and her fingers twist. ] A-allow me to care for him and heal him for all of you. You need him to protect the town below, don't you? He's helped this town and her people survive this long... he can't fall here. Not now. Not after I...

[ Her voice trails off.

Ser Darrowbane glances once more between them before giving out an annoyed sigh. He shakes his head, pounding on the barrier once more in Aymeric's direction as if to imply he is owed an explanation. Then, he wordlessly leaves the barrier and disappears from sight. Phya tilts her ears in the direction the man left to make certain he is leaving before turning and rushing back to Aymeric's side. ]

[ Certainly, his reaction is illogical. He has no reason to be this distraught, and yet it seems that his heart and mind say otherwise. Perhaps it is fear of losing her again, or of letting her in only for her to leave. How he wishes to convince himself that if she does leave, it is not because of a distaste for him and who he is. Perhaps if he can convince himself that any pending departure on her part is due to prior obligations that he knows nothing of, then the blow will be lessened. Or perhaps he simply needs to hope that she has no intentions of leaving him behind.

But before he can make sense of these churning thoughts, his eyes immediately snap open in response to the pounding on the door. A different kind of fear takes hold of him again, all but freezing his joints in place as he wonders if someone has come to trouble them both.

The man standing at the barrier looks familiar, but Aymeric cannot place him from what he can see of him. Warning bells go off in his mind: he must not come in. But then he realizes that Phya and the other man are having a conversation of sorts, and his expression turns confused even as his eyes briefly flash red.

The gleam deepens as Tiber pounds heavily on the barrier again before turning away and leaving. When Phya returns to his side, he pins her with a glance: not an angry one, but one wanting to know just who that man was and what he wanted. Again, the feeling that he should know him surfaces, but with his still foggy mind, he cannot work out his identity. ]

[ Illogical they may be, but, he is in a delicate state. While not delusional, he certainly moves between being lucid and being lost. She hopes that after rest and having properly fed himself, he might be a tad more lucid when next he awakens. However, she has the feeling it will be at least one more feeding before then.

When she returns to his side she finds herself freezing in place. The look in his eyes is not one she has seen before. The vampiric gleam is obvious, but it's the intensity and agitation is what causes her to hesitate slightly. Her hands curl together as her tail wraps around her legs. Then, her gaze drops and her ears flatten to her head.

Has she already done something so distasteful...? ]

S-Ser Darrownbane came... he was worried. He is worried. When we came to your town, he did his best to try and send us away. He wanted to protect you.

[ And, perhaps anyone else that might be a danger given your state...

Phya carefully sits down on the bed once more. She hesitantly reaches out to rest her hand on his arm. A gentle squeeze is given. Perhaps he would not wish her to touch him at all now. Perhaps she has angered him. ]

I asked him to bring bandages so I can attend to your wounds properly.

[ He very much despises this delicate state. Now that he has a reason to care, a reason to do more than spend the hours wishing he could return to the aetherial sea, he curses his present state as if that would spur along his recovery.

At the sound of her voice, some of the tension in his frame fades, as does the gleam in his eyes. ]

Ser... Darrowbane. [ He knows that name, just as a part of him recognized the man who had stood there pounding on the barrier, in spite of the fogginess that drowns out memories that should be clear as day. Is he a friend? An acquaintance? He must be a friend, or he would not have come. Nor would he have done what Phya says he did. ] I remember. [ Not in full, but at least the name registers as belonging to someone he knows and trusts.

In response to her hand squeezing his arm, a smile forms, slowly spreading across his face. How long has it been since he smiled? Too long, he imagines, given that he cannot remember an exact number of days. All that he knows is that he wishes to smile more for Phya and to create more happy memories with her. ]

[ A nod comes as he repeats the name. She would imagine the pair do not refer to one another so formally. Ser Darrowbane certainly is not one for the formalities as far as she can tell. His usage of last names seems more to keep others away than out of a notion of standard manners. He is brash and rather forward coming with his thoughts, but she can tell he does care for those in the town and their lord.

She smiles in return for his. ]

I will change your dressings appropriately once you've returned to sleep. Then, I'll wake you to eat once more. [ From there it is simply waiting to see how long he will need to sleep and recover. She imagines it will not be long for him to regain more of himself. ] For now, you must rest and regain your health. It... it should be much easier now that you've eaten.

[ Her free hand raises to his hair once more to play with the strands to ease him into sleep. She wonders if her blood still tastes good, or if a lingering distate remains due to her sickly nature in this life. The question is one she cannot bring herself to ask him. She can hardly begin to say those pet names she wishes to. How could she ask him the questions of such a sensitive nature.

Beyond that, how could she ask, when she is terrified to share her true name...? ]

[ This time, as she lightly plays with his hair, intent on easing him to sleep once more, he does not resist. He needs to sleep, regardless of what his wishes, and it seems that his body is finally saying he must rest. There is no fighting it or resisting, not this time.

His smile widens and he nestles himself in deeper against her, this time feeling safe and content enough to sleep as she watches. Her blood has filled and sustained him, although he will need to eat again before too long. For now, however, he simply wishes to rest.

Perhaps when he awakens again, they can actually speak and converse with each other and begin to reconnect after the long period of absence between them. ]

[ Her bright blue eyes watch intently as his own close and he finally drifts to sleep of his own accord. A small relief is there that he trusts her to sleep on his own. Her poor Aymeric. If only she had left sooner, then ...

Banging catches her ears once more and her ears twitch. Phya moves from the bed and back to the barrier where Tiberius is. She nods to the man and steps through the barrier once more to take the few supplies he has managed to salvage. Aymeric may need more, but it is certainly a start. ]

So, you're her.

[ Her head shoots up from her inspections to meet the knight's intense stare. Ears bend back and her tail curls in reaction to the piercing question. How should she answer such a thing? How does Tiberius even know...? ]

No one else but him can step through that barrier. Not to mention there's no one else he'd allow to take care of him in such a way. [ Tiberius sighs and waves his hand as if to push away his own concerns. ] That barrier had better be gone when I'm back. You're going to need more right?

Yes. [ She nods.

Before she can say much else, she watches as Tiberius turns and leaves. Phya looks down once more at the supplies before rushing back to the bed. She lifts Aymeric's shirt once more and then gets to work on cleaning and properly dressing his wounds. And, of course, removing the barrier as she was ... asked to. The door is then closed before she finally returns to the other side of the bed, feeling spent in her own way.

Phya gently lays down against Aymeric's back. Her head tilts against him before she closes her eyes and simply is. Her beloved. She dreads him being far more lucid than he has been. Surely, once he sees her, he will realize she is not his Lantaa. While his soulmate, she is hardly comparable at all to herself. She is far from beautiful or even fair. Just a runt in so many ways...

Her eyes open and she realizes it has been a handful of hours. More supplies are at the table, meaning Tiberius has arrived and left again. With a brush of her hand to her eyes, she sits up and gently puts her hand on his arm once more. He will need to eat again. ]

Aymeric...

[ He remains asleep even as she and Tiberius hold their brief conversation. The only sign he gives of restlessness is shifting from one side to the other, but he stills again before too long. If he sensed that she was in danger, he might rouse, but for the moment, he remains content to go on sleeping.

Even when she begins to tend to his wounds once more, he does not wake. His wounds are healing and the infection is lingering, but although he remains asleep, once again, small lines form on his forehead indicating he is feeling some discomfort. As before, he shifts position, stopped only by her efforts to clean and bandage his wounds. But then, after a moment, he settles back down again, letting his need for sleep pull him back under.

When she lies down beside him, unknowingly, his lips turn up into a smile and he lets out a quiet sigh. He finally feels relaxed and peaceful, two things he has not felt in a number of years. And although his sleep has mostly been dreamless, he does see one thing in his mind's eye: the image of the person he loves the most. Lantaa, Phya (although he does not know that name yet), his dearest.

When the touch of her hand on his arm registers, he shifts slightly again, a contented sigh as opposed to an uncomfortable one escaping him. Slowly and very gradually, his eyes open and settle upon hers. ]

How- How many hours has it been? [ He is somewhat surprised to find he can speak relatively clearly. Her healing efforts are the cause of that, he is sure. ]

[ A twitch of her ears gives way at seeing him react so quickly. The blood has done him well, as well as the rest and bandages. So rarely does one see the result of their labors, but, it is all apparent for her now. A small smile is offered to him at his question. ]

Only a handful of hours. You need to eat again. I need to see to your bandages, and then you should rest again...

[ Then, she supposes, they will talk. He will properly see who she is in this life. He will see how very unlike the woman he remembers she is. Perhaps she has some similarities, as they have the same soul, but she can't say she is the same person.

She squeezes his arm again before shuffling off the bed and grabbing the basket she came with. She takes the other cup, once intended for herself to share a drink with him, and turns her back to him. The sleeve is rolled up once more and she uses the knife as she had. She is certain he will notice the difference in blood this time. All the little things that should point to how different she is should ring loudly in his head now.

There are a few things she wishes to do before he wakes next. Things to help him, regardless if he choses to have her remain or not. The barrier source for one. Perhaps seeing what his home might need. Things of the nature.

Phya heals her wound and returns to the side of the bed with cup in hand. ]

Do you need help in sitting up?

Edited 2023-06-24 17:46 (UTC)

[ He had not expected to recover so quickly, but he does recall that Lantaa was always a skilled and gifted healer, knowing how to work with aether to optimal conclusions. ]

Ah, but what about yourself? Have you rested or eaten? [ He considers moving from the bed so that he might see what he can do about obtaining food for her. Perhaps it is too soon for him to be out of bed, but now that he feels a little bit stronger, he knows he will not be able to stand lying in bed for too much longer. ] Someone ought to care for you, in exchange for all you are doing.

[ He has not yet thought these exact words, but he is amassing quite the debt towards her. His gaze turns to watch her as she moves away to tend to the task of providing him with food, as he finds himself wishing to keep track of her movements: not from a place of possessiveness nor beast-like hunger for her blood. Instead, it is because he simply wishes to be assured that she is safe and well, even if she is still quite obviously within eyeshot. It eases his fears of losing her again, although he has yet to fully address those fears with anyone but himself.

Soon enough, she returns, and at her question concerning his ability to sit up, he tries to do just that. However, the effort pulls at his bandaged wounds and he finds he is forced to stop before he causes them to reopen once more. ] Perhaps just this last time, and then I will not have to trouble you. [ He is certain she does not see caring for him as trouble, and yet he does not want to ask more of her than she already has given. ]

I-I will soon. I promise.

[ She will need to before his next feeding. What little strength her body does carry needs to be replenished for him. Of course, she is certain he would say it is for her own benefit more than his. She is the one who knows that no matter what she might do her body is limited in what it can and cannot do. That is simply the way of things in this life. Appropriate, she supposes, as she can never seem to be enough to aid him. ]

Let me help.

[ Phya places the cup on the table beside them once more. Then, she moves to aid him. Her smaller hands guide him through the safe way sitting up. Regardless of how or why, the motion will inevitably tug at his wounds to some degree.

Once he is stable, she reaches for the cup and holds it up for him. If he is able to take it then she allows him to drink on his own. Otherwise, she once again holds the cup up for him. ]

[ He eyes her as if wondering if he should insist that she rest now as opposed to later. While he may have spent a good portion of the last handful of hours asleep or in no condition to be aware, he can imagine easily enough that she must have expended a great deal of effort in bringing him to the state that he is in. ]

If it comes to it, I will move from this bed so that you may use it. [ He knows he would too, regardless of the risk of opening his wounds or worsening his condition again. ]

I am certain you need rest as much as I have. [ But he silences again as she moves to help him sit up. As expected, he feels his wounds protest, but he ignores it in favor of moving into a better position with her help.

He thinks he could possibly manage to hold the cup on his own, but he decides to not risk it. If his strength were to fail for any reason, he might lose the blood she has offered him, and he would rather not do that. As before, he drinks quickly, but less greedily than the first time, as he learned his lesson.

Even as he drinks, he feels his strength returning with every sip. Perhaps it is only in his mind, but he believes it is helping. The sooner he can return to standing on his own two feet, the better. There is much he wishes to do and things he wishes to tell her. ]

I-it's fine, please don't. I... don't need much room at all. [ She glances down at herself as if to gesture to her stature.

Phya holds the cup as she did before to slow his drinking. He needs less aid this time, which must mean he will be right as rain soon enough. The wound may trouble him as the infection continues to heal, but she can help mend that shortly. That will certainly be the longest thing to heal, but, she intends to make certain it happens. Perhaps he will be willing to keep her alongside him at least until then.

With the cup empty, she places it beside the other. Her blue eyes turn to his as she folds her hands together to wait and see what he might do now. Her fingers begin to twist in a familiar manner as nerves take her. ]

[ He offers a half smile and shakes his head. ] I have spent too much time in this bed already. [ Out of necessity, of course, but he has to admit that he would rather be active again. ] Of course, if you are to use it, or to share it with me, it will have to be cleaned. [ As he imagines it is not in a fit state for her to sleep upon.

But as he drinks, he also falls silent, savoring the taste. He drinks slower than he had the first time, but the slowed pace does not indicate a distaste or lack of interest. This is, after all, something to be... well, savored, if not outright enjoyed. But perhaps she would not want her blood to be thought of in such a way. Perhaps he will have to find a better word to describe the experience.

When he is finished, his eyes travel to the second cup, and he looks at her with unveiled curiosity. ]

I suppose I should ask, what was it that you hoped to find when you came here?

[ A weak smile is offered to him at his comments. She has already laid atop the bed and rested to some degree. The whole Manor needs to be cleaned and repaired, but she keeps herself from saying such things. It could be seen as rude, and further upset him.

A part of her wishes to know what he thinks of her blood. Perhaps it is the part that seeks to be his again; the part that attempted to react when his eyes were red the first time. Something almost instinctual waits for such a indication from him, as well, wasn't that what happened before? Though, now, perhaps her blood is far from savory. Surely, how weak and sickly she is in this life can be tasted...

Even then, a part of her longs for some reaction to him. A longing she has never felt before--not as Phya Tayuun.

His question brings her mind to the current moment. Her gaze travels to the floor. What had she thought to find? Truthfully, she had not thought to find the knight she had waited years for. She had thought he had given up on her and thus no longer searched for her. Instead, she has found he has a home, and an entire town to care for and protect. Why would he search for her when his duty has always been his main focus... hasn't it? ]

They said their lord was in the Manor, and injured. That they hadn't seen him in months. I thought, if I helped... [ I might no longer be so useless and not left behind.

Phya stares at the floor as she feels a wave of sadness take her. One that nearly brings tears to her eyes. The part that longs for him to call to her and touch her demands she moves, but the rest is stricken with a deep loneliness. She knows this feeling and has felt it numerous times in her short life so far.

Why would he want me in this life as I am now? I'm... I'm far from being worthy of him now...

She closes her eyes. Her tail stills and her ears gently sag against her head. ]

I only wanted to help.

Edited 2023-06-27 17:25 (UTC)

[ He knows that he would never ask nor expect her to tend to the manor. Asking her to do the tasks a servant ought to tend to is not something he intends to do. He would sooner clean the manor himself than ask anyone else, even a servant, to do so.

And perhaps as soon as he is back on his feet, that is what he shall do. As for the act of drinking, as before, his eyes glow red and his gaze travels to hers. He does desire her and her blood, and he desires to touch her and to get to know her through words and touch both.

He pauses to ponder her response, and after a moment in which he takes in her words and her actions, he is quick to respond. First he smiles warmly and widely, hoping to reassure, and next he reaches for her with one hand, slowly as if seeking permission, but eventually, his hand comes to rest against one of her ears. ]

[ She would still aid him with caring for his home. If nothing else to make certain he understands she will earn her keep. Surely, being unable to do much is why she feels so empty. If she could prove herself then it might help how she feels. Or, at the very least, feel as if she is not useless.

Her eyes widen by a fraction at the sight of the red in his eyes. It tugs at something inside her. Something almost instinctive,but also something far more ancient. A feeling that says she wishes to be with him again, touching, speaking, but also to be his again.

The hand wrapped around hers responds almost instantly. It curls around his. Fingertips gently nudge to try and slip her fingers between his , but instead, she grows shy and is content to merely hold his hand. Her lips part to speak, but words catch in her mouth. His fingers graze her ear. It twitches under his touch and on habit she tilts her head into his hand. ]

[ Even so, now that they have found each other, he intends to make up for time that he lost (and for his perceived failure) by looking out for her and caring for her however he can. If that means hunting and bringing home food for her, or providing her with clothes or whatever possessions she might wish for or desire, then he shall do just that. He would not have her feeling useless, however he believes that she does not need to prove anything to him. To herself is another matter entirely, of course.

The effects of the blood he has taken continue to show in his eyes, and he feels an urge to take command, to let his instincts take control. But would she wish to be controlled or even directed by you? The question springs to mind even as those stronger urges settle in. The answer could very well be yes, but he does not wish to force himself upon her at all.

As he curls his fingers further around hers, and then does the same around her ear, he poses the question: ] Is there something that you wish to do? Or something that you need? [ He has already wondered if he might test his strength and levels of recovery, which would require having a task to do. If there is something she wishes or has need of, he could attempt to see it met. ]

[ His question causes her to look at him once more and meet his gaze. Her hand flexes in his at the sight of his red eyes. A strong tug is once more present, attempting to lure her into his gaze. She does wish to follow whatever he might suggest of her. She does wish to embrace a feelings he can recall from the edges of her mind. Lantaa responded every time his vampiric instincts came forth, and she is Lantaa. Her fingertips brush over his fingers once more as if seeking permission.

She opens her mouth to answer him, but finds herself unable to say much of anything at all. That sense of shyness returns and her ears tilt down with a blush to her cheeks. Her ear still is in his hold, gently resting against his fingers. She wishes to hold him and be held. A desire to tell him of her life so far, and how she has missed him, and how she waited for all this time. Yet, she blushes more at the idea of actually saying those words.

He had been so adept at reading her once. Could he do so now?

Then, in the back of her mind, that ever sense of loneliness creeps in. Why would he wish to hear things from her of such a nature? He may be angry that she had died; that she had left him by himself. It may be a hurt she cannot heal. One that goes so very deep that she may even make it worse. The thought alone causes an ancient look to briefly flash in her eyes before lowering.

Tears gather in her eyes once more as the loneliness, shyness, pain, fear, and worry all display across her face in one motion. She's finally found him again and now she cannot say the words that have run through her mind time and time again.

I'm sorry I hurt you; that I left you here. It took me too long to find you. I'm sorry. Don't hate me, please. Let me heal what I've done to you.

Her eyes close to keep the tears at bay.

If I can't heal it, would you rather be free of me...? ]

I--I want to help.

[ She prays to whichever of the Twelve is listening that he understands all she is trying to say. Or, at the very least, that she wishes to tell him more than she can manage to say. ]

[ A part of him knows that he ought not let the feelings of bloodlust (if that is what it can be called... he has not yet settled upon a term that he likes) take hold so soon. Doing so might feel satisfying, but it might also set him back in terms of his recovery. But he wants to let those feelings take him where they will, as then he might feel stronger and more like himself once more. Of course, by that same token, is that what she wants?

Perhaps she does not want to be dominated by him and his will or told what to do. Perhaps she wants a more gentle approach that puts them both on a more even footing. He hesitates even as the urge to take her rises.

Of course, he sees the way she opens her mouth and then stops before saying anything, and he takes note of the blush that takes her as well. Perhaps she does not want to be taken and led by his vampiric side. Perhaps she does want a more gentle experience, at least for now. And so, he wills those churning instincts to subside at least slightly so that he might give her the kind of experience he thinks she wants.

If he could hear the thoughts she is having, he would do his best to dispel all of them, because he is not angry with her, nor upset. In fact, he is still shocked that she came back to him at all, when she could have gone off in search of another kind of life. Of course, he reasons that she did not know he was here; she had said she came because she was told that the lord who looked after the town was in trouble, and that is what brought her here. He could choose to think otherwise and believe that their bond brought them together, and a part of him does want to believe in that.

But as for this moment right now, he reaches for her to take hold of one of her hands. ]

And I want to help you. [ Because it seems to him that they both have needs, and perhaps both of them can help each other. ]

AU PLOTLINE

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