synthneon | au au || ❝ our fate so darkly romantic, i will never leave your side. ❞

au au || ❝ our fate so darkly romantic, i will never leave your side. ❞

tba

AU PLOTLINE

when i thought that i fought this war alone,
we were one with our destinies entwined
when i thought that i fought without a cause,
you gave me the reason why... CODE BY TESSISAMESS

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Illogical they may be, but, he is in a delicate state. While not delusional, he certainly moves between being lucid and being lost. She hopes that after rest and having properly fed himself, he might be a tad more lucid when next he awakens. However, she has the feeling it will be at least one more feeding before then.

When she returns to his side she finds herself freezing in place. The look in his eyes is not one she has seen before. The vampiric gleam is obvious, but it's the intensity and agitation is what causes her to hesitate slightly. Her hands curl together as her tail wraps around her legs. Then, her gaze drops and her ears flatten to her head.

Has she already done something so distasteful...? ]

S-Ser Darrownbane came... he was worried. He is worried. When we came to your town, he did his best to try and send us away. He wanted to protect you.

[ And, perhaps anyone else that might be a danger given your state...

Phya carefully sits down on the bed once more. She hesitantly reaches out to rest her hand on his arm. A gentle squeeze is given. Perhaps he would not wish her to touch him at all now. Perhaps she has angered him. ]

I asked him to bring bandages so I can attend to your wounds properly.

[ He very much despises this delicate state. Now that he has a reason to care, a reason to do more than spend the hours wishing he could return to the aetherial sea, he curses his present state as if that would spur along his recovery.

At the sound of her voice, some of the tension in his frame fades, as does the gleam in his eyes. ]

Ser... Darrowbane. [ He knows that name, just as a part of him recognized the man who had stood there pounding on the barrier, in spite of the fogginess that drowns out memories that should be clear as day. Is he a friend? An acquaintance? He must be a friend, or he would not have come. Nor would he have done what Phya says he did. ] I remember. [ Not in full, but at least the name registers as belonging to someone he knows and trusts.

In response to her hand squeezing his arm, a smile forms, slowly spreading across his face. How long has it been since he smiled? Too long, he imagines, given that he cannot remember an exact number of days. All that he knows is that he wishes to smile more for Phya and to create more happy memories with her. ]

[ A nod comes as he repeats the name. She would imagine the pair do not refer to one another so formally. Ser Darrowbane certainly is not one for the formalities as far as she can tell. His usage of last names seems more to keep others away than out of a notion of standard manners. He is brash and rather forward coming with his thoughts, but she can tell he does care for those in the town and their lord.

She smiles in return for his. ]

I will change your dressings appropriately once you've returned to sleep. Then, I'll wake you to eat once more. [ From there it is simply waiting to see how long he will need to sleep and recover. She imagines it will not be long for him to regain more of himself. ] For now, you must rest and regain your health. It... it should be much easier now that you've eaten.

[ Her free hand raises to his hair once more to play with the strands to ease him into sleep. She wonders if her blood still tastes good, or if a lingering distate remains due to her sickly nature in this life. The question is one she cannot bring herself to ask him. She can hardly begin to say those pet names she wishes to. How could she ask him the questions of such a sensitive nature.

Beyond that, how could she ask, when she is terrified to share her true name...? ]

[ This time, as she lightly plays with his hair, intent on easing him to sleep once more, he does not resist. He needs to sleep, regardless of what his wishes, and it seems that his body is finally saying he must rest. There is no fighting it or resisting, not this time.

His smile widens and he nestles himself in deeper against her, this time feeling safe and content enough to sleep as she watches. Her blood has filled and sustained him, although he will need to eat again before too long. For now, however, he simply wishes to rest.

Perhaps when he awakens again, they can actually speak and converse with each other and begin to reconnect after the long period of absence between them. ]

[ Her bright blue eyes watch intently as his own close and he finally drifts to sleep of his own accord. A small relief is there that he trusts her to sleep on his own. Her poor Aymeric. If only she had left sooner, then ...

Banging catches her ears once more and her ears twitch. Phya moves from the bed and back to the barrier where Tiberius is. She nods to the man and steps through the barrier once more to take the few supplies he has managed to salvage. Aymeric may need more, but it is certainly a start. ]

So, you're her.

[ Her head shoots up from her inspections to meet the knight's intense stare. Ears bend back and her tail curls in reaction to the piercing question. How should she answer such a thing? How does Tiberius even know...? ]

No one else but him can step through that barrier. Not to mention there's no one else he'd allow to take care of him in such a way. [ Tiberius sighs and waves his hand as if to push away his own concerns. ] That barrier had better be gone when I'm back. You're going to need more right?

Yes. [ She nods.

Before she can say much else, she watches as Tiberius turns and leaves. Phya looks down once more at the supplies before rushing back to the bed. She lifts Aymeric's shirt once more and then gets to work on cleaning and properly dressing his wounds. And, of course, removing the barrier as she was ... asked to. The door is then closed before she finally returns to the other side of the bed, feeling spent in her own way.

Phya gently lays down against Aymeric's back. Her head tilts against him before she closes her eyes and simply is. Her beloved. She dreads him being far more lucid than he has been. Surely, once he sees her, he will realize she is not his Lantaa. While his soulmate, she is hardly comparable at all to herself. She is far from beautiful or even fair. Just a runt in so many ways...

Her eyes open and she realizes it has been a handful of hours. More supplies are at the table, meaning Tiberius has arrived and left again. With a brush of her hand to her eyes, she sits up and gently puts her hand on his arm once more. He will need to eat again. ]

Aymeric...

[ He remains asleep even as she and Tiberius hold their brief conversation. The only sign he gives of restlessness is shifting from one side to the other, but he stills again before too long. If he sensed that she was in danger, he might rouse, but for the moment, he remains content to go on sleeping.

Even when she begins to tend to his wounds once more, he does not wake. His wounds are healing and the infection is lingering, but although he remains asleep, once again, small lines form on his forehead indicating he is feeling some discomfort. As before, he shifts position, stopped only by her efforts to clean and bandage his wounds. But then, after a moment, he settles back down again, letting his need for sleep pull him back under.

When she lies down beside him, unknowingly, his lips turn up into a smile and he lets out a quiet sigh. He finally feels relaxed and peaceful, two things he has not felt in a number of years. And although his sleep has mostly been dreamless, he does see one thing in his mind's eye: the image of the person he loves the most. Lantaa, Phya (although he does not know that name yet), his dearest.

When the touch of her hand on his arm registers, he shifts slightly again, a contented sigh as opposed to an uncomfortable one escaping him. Slowly and very gradually, his eyes open and settle upon hers. ]

How- How many hours has it been? [ He is somewhat surprised to find he can speak relatively clearly. Her healing efforts are the cause of that, he is sure. ]

[ A twitch of her ears gives way at seeing him react so quickly. The blood has done him well, as well as the rest and bandages. So rarely does one see the result of their labors, but, it is all apparent for her now. A small smile is offered to him at his question. ]

Only a handful of hours. You need to eat again. I need to see to your bandages, and then you should rest again...

[ Then, she supposes, they will talk. He will properly see who she is in this life. He will see how very unlike the woman he remembers she is. Perhaps she has some similarities, as they have the same soul, but she can't say she is the same person.

She squeezes his arm again before shuffling off the bed and grabbing the basket she came with. She takes the other cup, once intended for herself to share a drink with him, and turns her back to him. The sleeve is rolled up once more and she uses the knife as she had. She is certain he will notice the difference in blood this time. All the little things that should point to how different she is should ring loudly in his head now.

There are a few things she wishes to do before he wakes next. Things to help him, regardless if he choses to have her remain or not. The barrier source for one. Perhaps seeing what his home might need. Things of the nature.

Phya heals her wound and returns to the side of the bed with cup in hand. ]

Do you need help in sitting up?

Edited 2023-06-24 17:46 (UTC)

[ He had not expected to recover so quickly, but he does recall that Lantaa was always a skilled and gifted healer, knowing how to work with aether to optimal conclusions. ]

Ah, but what about yourself? Have you rested or eaten? [ He considers moving from the bed so that he might see what he can do about obtaining food for her. Perhaps it is too soon for him to be out of bed, but now that he feels a little bit stronger, he knows he will not be able to stand lying in bed for too much longer. ] Someone ought to care for you, in exchange for all you are doing.

[ He has not yet thought these exact words, but he is amassing quite the debt towards her. His gaze turns to watch her as she moves away to tend to the task of providing him with food, as he finds himself wishing to keep track of her movements: not from a place of possessiveness nor beast-like hunger for her blood. Instead, it is because he simply wishes to be assured that she is safe and well, even if she is still quite obviously within eyeshot. It eases his fears of losing her again, although he has yet to fully address those fears with anyone but himself.

Soon enough, she returns, and at her question concerning his ability to sit up, he tries to do just that. However, the effort pulls at his bandaged wounds and he finds he is forced to stop before he causes them to reopen once more. ] Perhaps just this last time, and then I will not have to trouble you. [ He is certain she does not see caring for him as trouble, and yet he does not want to ask more of her than she already has given. ]

I-I will soon. I promise.

[ She will need to before his next feeding. What little strength her body does carry needs to be replenished for him. Of course, she is certain he would say it is for her own benefit more than his. She is the one who knows that no matter what she might do her body is limited in what it can and cannot do. That is simply the way of things in this life. Appropriate, she supposes, as she can never seem to be enough to aid him. ]

Let me help.

[ Phya places the cup on the table beside them once more. Then, she moves to aid him. Her smaller hands guide him through the safe way sitting up. Regardless of how or why, the motion will inevitably tug at his wounds to some degree.

Once he is stable, she reaches for the cup and holds it up for him. If he is able to take it then she allows him to drink on his own. Otherwise, she once again holds the cup up for him. ]

[ He eyes her as if wondering if he should insist that she rest now as opposed to later. While he may have spent a good portion of the last handful of hours asleep or in no condition to be aware, he can imagine easily enough that she must have expended a great deal of effort in bringing him to the state that he is in. ]

If it comes to it, I will move from this bed so that you may use it. [ He knows he would too, regardless of the risk of opening his wounds or worsening his condition again. ]

I am certain you need rest as much as I have. [ But he silences again as she moves to help him sit up. As expected, he feels his wounds protest, but he ignores it in favor of moving into a better position with her help.

He thinks he could possibly manage to hold the cup on his own, but he decides to not risk it. If his strength were to fail for any reason, he might lose the blood she has offered him, and he would rather not do that. As before, he drinks quickly, but less greedily than the first time, as he learned his lesson.

Even as he drinks, he feels his strength returning with every sip. Perhaps it is only in his mind, but he believes it is helping. The sooner he can return to standing on his own two feet, the better. There is much he wishes to do and things he wishes to tell her. ]

I-it's fine, please don't. I... don't need much room at all. [ She glances down at herself as if to gesture to her stature.

Phya holds the cup as she did before to slow his drinking. He needs less aid this time, which must mean he will be right as rain soon enough. The wound may trouble him as the infection continues to heal, but she can help mend that shortly. That will certainly be the longest thing to heal, but, she intends to make certain it happens. Perhaps he will be willing to keep her alongside him at least until then.

With the cup empty, she places it beside the other. Her blue eyes turn to his as she folds her hands together to wait and see what he might do now. Her fingers begin to twist in a familiar manner as nerves take her. ]

[ He offers a half smile and shakes his head. ] I have spent too much time in this bed already. [ Out of necessity, of course, but he has to admit that he would rather be active again. ] Of course, if you are to use it, or to share it with me, it will have to be cleaned. [ As he imagines it is not in a fit state for her to sleep upon.

But as he drinks, he also falls silent, savoring the taste. He drinks slower than he had the first time, but the slowed pace does not indicate a distaste or lack of interest. This is, after all, something to be... well, savored, if not outright enjoyed. But perhaps she would not want her blood to be thought of in such a way. Perhaps he will have to find a better word to describe the experience.

When he is finished, his eyes travel to the second cup, and he looks at her with unveiled curiosity. ]

I suppose I should ask, what was it that you hoped to find when you came here?

[ A weak smile is offered to him at his comments. She has already laid atop the bed and rested to some degree. The whole Manor needs to be cleaned and repaired, but she keeps herself from saying such things. It could be seen as rude, and further upset him.

A part of her wishes to know what he thinks of her blood. Perhaps it is the part that seeks to be his again; the part that attempted to react when his eyes were red the first time. Something almost instinctual waits for such a indication from him, as well, wasn't that what happened before? Though, now, perhaps her blood is far from savory. Surely, how weak and sickly she is in this life can be tasted...

Even then, a part of her longs for some reaction to him. A longing she has never felt before--not as Phya Tayuun.

His question brings her mind to the current moment. Her gaze travels to the floor. What had she thought to find? Truthfully, she had not thought to find the knight she had waited years for. She had thought he had given up on her and thus no longer searched for her. Instead, she has found he has a home, and an entire town to care for and protect. Why would he search for her when his duty has always been his main focus... hasn't it? ]

They said their lord was in the Manor, and injured. That they hadn't seen him in months. I thought, if I helped... [ I might no longer be so useless and not left behind.

Phya stares at the floor as she feels a wave of sadness take her. One that nearly brings tears to her eyes. The part that longs for him to call to her and touch her demands she moves, but the rest is stricken with a deep loneliness. She knows this feeling and has felt it numerous times in her short life so far.

Why would he want me in this life as I am now? I'm... I'm far from being worthy of him now...

She closes her eyes. Her tail stills and her ears gently sag against her head. ]

I only wanted to help.

Edited 2023-06-27 17:25 (UTC)

[ He knows that he would never ask nor expect her to tend to the manor. Asking her to do the tasks a servant ought to tend to is not something he intends to do. He would sooner clean the manor himself than ask anyone else, even a servant, to do so.

And perhaps as soon as he is back on his feet, that is what he shall do. As for the act of drinking, as before, his eyes glow red and his gaze travels to hers. He does desire her and her blood, and he desires to touch her and to get to know her through words and touch both.

He pauses to ponder her response, and after a moment in which he takes in her words and her actions, he is quick to respond. First he smiles warmly and widely, hoping to reassure, and next he reaches for her with one hand, slowly as if seeking permission, but eventually, his hand comes to rest against one of her ears. ]

[ She would still aid him with caring for his home. If nothing else to make certain he understands she will earn her keep. Surely, being unable to do much is why she feels so empty. If she could prove herself then it might help how she feels. Or, at the very least, feel as if she is not useless.

Her eyes widen by a fraction at the sight of the red in his eyes. It tugs at something inside her. Something almost instinctive,but also something far more ancient. A feeling that says she wishes to be with him again, touching, speaking, but also to be his again.

The hand wrapped around hers responds almost instantly. It curls around his. Fingertips gently nudge to try and slip her fingers between his , but instead, she grows shy and is content to merely hold his hand. Her lips part to speak, but words catch in her mouth. His fingers graze her ear. It twitches under his touch and on habit she tilts her head into his hand. ]

[ Even so, now that they have found each other, he intends to make up for time that he lost (and for his perceived failure) by looking out for her and caring for her however he can. If that means hunting and bringing home food for her, or providing her with clothes or whatever possessions she might wish for or desire, then he shall do just that. He would not have her feeling useless, however he believes that she does not need to prove anything to him. To herself is another matter entirely, of course.

The effects of the blood he has taken continue to show in his eyes, and he feels an urge to take command, to let his instincts take control. But would she wish to be controlled or even directed by you? The question springs to mind even as those stronger urges settle in. The answer could very well be yes, but he does not wish to force himself upon her at all.

As he curls his fingers further around hers, and then does the same around her ear, he poses the question: ] Is there something that you wish to do? Or something that you need? [ He has already wondered if he might test his strength and levels of recovery, which would require having a task to do. If there is something she wishes or has need of, he could attempt to see it met. ]

[ His question causes her to look at him once more and meet his gaze. Her hand flexes in his at the sight of his red eyes. A strong tug is once more present, attempting to lure her into his gaze. She does wish to follow whatever he might suggest of her. She does wish to embrace a feelings he can recall from the edges of her mind. Lantaa responded every time his vampiric instincts came forth, and she is Lantaa. Her fingertips brush over his fingers once more as if seeking permission.

She opens her mouth to answer him, but finds herself unable to say much of anything at all. That sense of shyness returns and her ears tilt down with a blush to her cheeks. Her ear still is in his hold, gently resting against his fingers. She wishes to hold him and be held. A desire to tell him of her life so far, and how she has missed him, and how she waited for all this time. Yet, she blushes more at the idea of actually saying those words.

He had been so adept at reading her once. Could he do so now?

Then, in the back of her mind, that ever sense of loneliness creeps in. Why would he wish to hear things from her of such a nature? He may be angry that she had died; that she had left him by himself. It may be a hurt she cannot heal. One that goes so very deep that she may even make it worse. The thought alone causes an ancient look to briefly flash in her eyes before lowering.

Tears gather in her eyes once more as the loneliness, shyness, pain, fear, and worry all display across her face in one motion. She's finally found him again and now she cannot say the words that have run through her mind time and time again.

I'm sorry I hurt you; that I left you here. It took me too long to find you. I'm sorry. Don't hate me, please. Let me heal what I've done to you.

Her eyes close to keep the tears at bay.

If I can't heal it, would you rather be free of me...? ]

I--I want to help.

[ She prays to whichever of the Twelve is listening that he understands all she is trying to say. Or, at the very least, that she wishes to tell him more than she can manage to say. ]

[ A part of him knows that he ought not let the feelings of bloodlust (if that is what it can be called... he has not yet settled upon a term that he likes) take hold so soon. Doing so might feel satisfying, but it might also set him back in terms of his recovery. But he wants to let those feelings take him where they will, as then he might feel stronger and more like himself once more. Of course, by that same token, is that what she wants?

Perhaps she does not want to be dominated by him and his will or told what to do. Perhaps she wants a more gentle approach that puts them both on a more even footing. He hesitates even as the urge to take her rises.

Of course, he sees the way she opens her mouth and then stops before saying anything, and he takes note of the blush that takes her as well. Perhaps she does not want to be taken and led by his vampiric side. Perhaps she does want a more gentle experience, at least for now. And so, he wills those churning instincts to subside at least slightly so that he might give her the kind of experience he thinks she wants.

If he could hear the thoughts she is having, he would do his best to dispel all of them, because he is not angry with her, nor upset. In fact, he is still shocked that she came back to him at all, when she could have gone off in search of another kind of life. Of course, he reasons that she did not know he was here; she had said she came because she was told that the lord who looked after the town was in trouble, and that is what brought her here. He could choose to think otherwise and believe that their bond brought them together, and a part of him does want to believe in that.

But as for this moment right now, he reaches for her to take hold of one of her hands. ]

And I want to help you. [ Because it seems to him that they both have needs, and perhaps both of them can help each other. ]

[ Her bright blue eyes raise once more to his as he responds. Her eyebrows knit ever so slightly. There is a certain tone of voice she had been expecting, a look in his eyes to match the ruby color they've taken. An intensity that follows from his feeding. She can remember it all being there before. Yet, now, she feels as if she's anticipating something that may now happen. He may be far too weak to let those instincts take over and drive them closer.

That is what she truly wants--to be close to him again; to be his pair, his wife, his lady. Even if she must earn all of those titles back.

Her hand curls around his with a determined squeeze. A half step forward and she stands in front of him properly. The hand over his at her ear guides it to rest against her cheek. She then tilts her head down to rest her forehead against his in a familiar way. On habit, she gently nudges her nose to the side of his. A shot of electricity seems to shoot up her spine as she does the new yet old notion of affection. Her tail even twitches at the sudden feeling.

Phya desires to kiss him, to hold him, to be as she can feel they were before. Hadn't they met this way... with such emotions and an injury? Except, she can remember those emotions being far more intense and consuming. Was it only because he fed from her? No, it must have only been the catalyst of it all.

Should she let him feed from her now then? He seems to be able to control himself and recongize her now.

Phya gently nudges his nose again before letting her eyes slip shut. Her heart thunders in her chest with the redness remaining on her cheeks. The all consuming loneliness seems beaten away for now, triumphed by the fact her beloved knows she is there with him. ]

Aymeric.

[ I love you. All of you. My knight and my pair...would you let me call you those things again?

She stays still for but a moment more before opening her eyes to gaze into his. A sudden resolve takes her, one that she feels is unique to this life and not another. One that wholly belongs to her experiences as Phya Tayuun. While not a conviction to make her bold and demanding, it does give her courage to grasp onto what she desires.

I want to be with my mate again. ]

I've missed you. [ No underlying tones from other lives are present. ] Knight and vampire both. [ She smiles gently with the blush still on her face. ] I've missed you so much... may I--can I come home?

[ Her fingertips brush along his fingers once more. If Aymeric truly does remember her as the soul he loves? Then, there is no doubt he will understand all that she asks in one simple question. Can she be his lady and his pair again? Will he embrace her as he did and claim her? Both sides of him, perhaps not in unison yet. Each side may need to be tended to separately as she once did.

Can I be here even though I'm me now, and not only Lantaa? Would you want to kiss me and hold me still? ]

[ Oh, he had thought that he would simply step aside and let those baser instincts take control of both himself and her, leading them to cross a threshold that they once had in a time long ago. But it seems that sort of passionate response will have to wait for another time and another feeding. And perhaps then he will have fed from her properly, as he had done in the past.

But as always, as soon as she curls her hand around his and moves to stand in front of him, he all but snaps to attention. With her as close as she is, he could press a kiss to her lips or her cheek, and he would be lying to himself if he said that he did not want to do that.

He knows that he would feed from her, and kiss her, and take her as one takes their partner if not for the lingering fear that she no longer truly wishes to stay with him. She changed, of course, but so has he. He never was much of an open book unless someone managed to slip past his defenses and his walls, but now he is even more closed off than before. Why would she want to put in the time and effort to slip past those walls again?

Short of asking her to explain her intentions, which he does not intend to do, he finds himself uncertain what exactly he should do. But she speaks, and then smiles, and he finds his eyes drawn to her, to that smile.

And then the question comes, and in an instant, he knows what his answer must be. ]

Your home has been right here waiting for you. [ And he knows that she will also understand his meaning. It was not only the house that stood waiting, but him as well. And now that she is here, the doors of the house and of his heart have been flung wide open for her to walk through. ]

[ Her eyes widen by only a small fraction at his smile, then his answer. Her shoulders lower as if a weight has slipped from them that pressed her down. Every lonely night disappears from her mind once his answer truly settles in her heart. Not only can she come home, but she is home.

An ancient feeling ripples inside her. He can see her and knows its her.

Her smile wavers if only because of the tears in her eyes. The ones that spill over quickly and cause her to tilt her head away so she can dry them from her cheeks. He has not forgiven her yet, but, he has accepted her back into his life.

Despite knowing that he is injured, Phya leans against him fully and presses her forehead to his once more. Her tail beside him moves up and down as her emotions decide to display another way. Somethings must never change. ]

I missed you. [ Her voice breaks under her tears despite her best efforts. ] Aymeric...

[ Her arms curl around his shoulders in an attempt to be closer to him. She wants to disappear into his arms as she knows she did before. The desire to be with him in all ways they were before knocks loudly in her heart. Holding him, his hands, being beside him, kissing him, tending to him as a lady wife would, but also as his pair should. Those desires spring forward so fast and suddenly she doesn't quite know which one to heed first.

In fact, it is rather dizzying. ]

My knight. [ The name for him slips out without notice as her arms curl tighter. She looks into his red eyes again to ask if she might lay with him and kiss as they once did. ] I missed you so very much. My pair...

[ Phya gently nudges his nose once more. ]

[ The realization did not occur right away, but it has finally settled in that he is complete once more. She is home, and seemingly here to stay, and he feels as though he can finally relax and let go of some of the tension and weight he has been carrying for so long. Already, the house that has been so quiet and still feels more alive because Phya is here.

If she had not wiped her own tears away, he would have done it for her, as he only wishes for her to be happy and content, and to have her wishes met. And although he feels no discomfort when she leans against him, if he had, he would simply tolerate it because he wants nothing more than to be close to her, letting those barriers between them fall aside. They have been apart long enough, and he is resolved to let nothing come between them again. ]

I missed you too. [ I searched for you, and wished you would come back. Only, it was my fault that you were gone. He still blames himself for her death, but that only makes him more resolved to look after her now that she has returned. ] It was not the same with you gone.

[ A look of guilt slips back into his eyes as he offers an apology once more. ] I am sorry that I could not stop it nor save you.

[ He leans into her touch just a fraction more as memories wash over him... remembering the names she would call him, names she uses again now. ]

I am very sorry.

[ Any response she might have had to his previous statements seems to flee from her mind the moment the look of guilt takes his eyes. It strikes her deeply, and she feels the emotions she had been attempting to hide start to surface. The ones that always seemed paired with her loneliness. Guilt, shame, fear that he might send her away forever. Surely he must have been angered, and cross, and swore her name in the years that followed her abandoning him.

Her death as K'lantaa was never blamed on him, but herself, and her mind always saw it that she had left him behind.

The smile on her face wavers once more and an expression mixed with pain, loneliness, fear and longing strikes at once. Her hands slide from around his shoulders, up his neck, and cradle his head between them. A shake over comes them--violently so--as the emotions do not come from simply Phya, or K'lantaa, but his ancient love who fears losing him above all else. ]

N-no, Aymeric, please. Don't apologize. It--it... [ Phya lowers her head so her near white bangs can hide her eyes.

She shakes, unable to contain everything that she has been attempting to since she found him in this room. He shouldn't see how broken she is inside--how broken Althea is--although he most likely already knows. He is her pair. ]

You can't blame yourself. Y-you can't. It wasn't your fault. It was mine. [ Her shoulders curl in a tell tale sign she is attempting to ball herself up and hide something that would surely hurt him more. Hasn't she hurt him enough? He deserves so much more than her. ] If... if I hadn't stopped to help others... i-if I just kept running... t-then it would have been fine... they wouldn't have killed me... but I did... a-and because of that, I...

I hurt you. [ Phya's young voice breaks. The tears and fear can be heard in her tone, even as she suddenly sounds older than beyond her years. ] I hurt the one and only soul I love... if I hadn't... you wouldn't be hurt... you wouldn't have been injured so badly... I hurt my knight. T-the person who did everything to keep me safe from them. I-I... I...

[ Her hands slip from his face as she falls to her knees in front of him in a display that must echo a time in her previous life. Instead of begging for him to say, now, she begs that he forgive her. Perhaps she can heal what she has done to him now--if he will let her.

Phya presses her forehead to his knees as a heartbroken sob escapes her. One that she has kept inside her for many years, hiding her face in her stuffed fox she was given. Her shaking hands gently press to his legs, but not enough to say she fully is touching him. How is she worthy to do such a thing after hurting him the way she has? ]

I'm so sorry, my love. My one and only. I'm sorry--I left you here by yourself--after begging you didn't leave me behind. I hurt you, I... hardly deserve to me forgiven, but...

[ I wish you would.

Everything seems to ache all at once. Her heart, her soul, her body from how horribly it shakes with her sobs between words. It almost feels as if now that she has started to cry, she cannot stop. ]

If... if you--you would no longer wish to... to be bound to me...a-after all the pain you've endured because of me.. I... [ Althea winces at her own proposal, but she must continue on. She has to give him this chance to be free of the soul who hurt him so very much. ] I-I'll make it happen... i-if it would heal what I've done to you...

[ Even if all I want is for you to hold me and forgive me. ]

[ For Aymeric, what he has to do becomes clear to him in an instant. He needs to help Phya, his wife, the one person he loves most across all the lives they've lived. And for that, that means putting aside what he needs so that he can focus on her.

Suddenly, he feels himself compelled to lean forward as the torrent of Phya's emotions washes over him and sinks in. What can he do to help? How can he make things better? He places a hand carefully on top of her head while reaching to grasp hold of her hand with his free hand. Words seem to not be enough, but is simply touching her and holding her what she needs?

Perhaps it is more that the words spilling from her are things she needs to say. Perhaps she is not necessarily looking for a response to everything that has flowed from her. As it is, he finds himself at a loss.

Is it enough to simply hold onto her and try to show her through his actions that there is no one else he would have with him? It seems that he will not know the answer to that unless he tries. ]

Who else would I be bound to but you? There is no one else. Why else would I have waited if I did not hope to find you again one day?

[ He could have returned to the aetherial sea and waited for another life to start, but he did not wish to, simply because that other life could have been another one in which they were apart. Waiting seemed to be the best course of action, and he knows he does not regret it. ]

[ The only answer she seeks is if he would wish to still be hers. While she wants forgiveness, she is somewhat aware that deep down, it stems from a fear he would reject her. Not merely because she is no longer K'lantaa, but, because she abandoned him. She left him to the existence he has always disliked--that of a vampire. He's had to live so many years without her. How could he possibly ever wish to be with her again?

Tears well in her eyes as his hand gently rests atop her head in a familiar fashion. Not merely in her life as K'lantaa, but a time in an ancient life. One where perhaps they looked similar, but a life that was very different. She can recall how he asked for her hand in marriage, and she proposed they be bound in all lives to come. A thought that made others around them chastise her and speak of how foolish it was--how dangerous it was. Yet, she can't say she regrets the decision, as surely every life without him would have merely fostered the feelings inside her now.

The tears don't spill, even as her shoulders and frame continue to shake in dry sobs.

Costas...

Phya's head raises as he speaks. Her bright blue eyes are red around their edges from crying even as the water in them obscures her vision. She can't mask her loneliness just as he can't. He knows her too well in any life.

Her hand curls around his tightly. ]

Even--even after I abandoned you here...? In an existence you hate so much? [ Her oversized tail curls around her as if to shield herself from his answer.] I... I tried to hard to come back faster.. quicker...

[ Phya shuts her eyes and presses her cheek into his knee. ]

I miss you.

AU PLOTLINE

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