𝓪𝓵𝓴𝓪𝓲𝓭 𝓶𝓮𝓻𝓬𝓮𝓭𝓮𝓼. (
shepherdtostars) wrote in
synthneon2022-10-09 12:51 am
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Entry tags:
bloody tears || ❝ our fate so darkly romantic, i will never leave your side. ❞
He roams the countryside...
A journey far from doner
Racing the setting sun this battle must be won
no subject
Yet, what of Ser Aymeric's? Is he truly alone outside of the Azure Dragoon? Has he no family, no servants? Has Ishgard truly abandoned him simply because of his nature? Coretheans had no love for her people, and so she would expect the treatment he hints at would be given to her. Yet, he is a son of Ishgard, and would she truly abandon her son simply because of a state of being?
Her eyes widen once more at his words. Dead. Something in her rebels at the idea of it. She would put herself in the way of any blade, or fire, or torture to keep him alive. While the rational side of her mind--the one practically drowned out from it all--protests at the notion? Her heart and soul speak to it.
A sense of wonder fills her eyes for a moment. He would truly take a stand for her? None has ever done such a thing. At least, not in recent memory. There are some towns with elders who hide her identity and the source of the medicines and aid that flow through them after the dragons and soldiers have left. Yet, she would not classify that as the same as what he speaks. He would offer her a home, a real home, and protection. Things that her small cave offer her as well to some degree... but there is a lack of companionship... outside of the small bird she has taken in as her familiar.
She lightly shakes her head at the idea of parting ways. While it is the most logical choice and the one she should make? Everything in her denies it. But, to voice it, to ask him to take her away? That remains firmly trapped within her mind. The same mind that conjures images of the eye returning to the skies and hunting her down. Voidsent--true voidsent--coming from the clouds to strike down all that she knew. The images are so vivid in he remind that she does not realize at first he has pushed himself to sit up on one hand. Not until his other raises to rest on the side of her face.
Matoya's gaze focuses once more, her mind returning to the present, as she stares into his sky-blue eyes. Both of her trembling hands raise to where his might be. One rests on the top of his on her cheek, while the other wraps around the very same arm. A barely visible shake of her head can be felt the moment he mentions his life being forfeit. She would not want to be upon the world without him in it as well now that she has found him once more.
The corner of her eyebrows knit as if she is to speak of agreeing with him. If they should be as they are, then perhaps together truly is best. There is no guarantee that the knights will not follow his and Estinien's footsteps to her cave and finally find her there. There is only so much magic can do to shield against steel and their own magic. Being at his side may truly be the best option...
Yet, they could bring steel and magic to the place Ser Aymeric would see her stay and find her there as well.
Matoya sinks further, clinging onto his arm and hand as if he were her lifeline. Her heart and soul scream out 'Yes, yes, yes' to his question. She opens her mouth as if she is to say the very words... but nothing comes forward. Her body seems to protest the notion of safety anywhere, and her mind seems to constantly wish to remind her of such. The ears atop her head lower as she tries once more. Ultimately, however, the fear and longing continue to battle and pull her backwards or forwards.
Yes, take me with you... but then if you die because of my presence, then I... You will be gone and it will be my fault... but even then, I wish to go... but I do not want to cause you more heartache... ]
no subject
Once, he entertained the notion that he could still be considered an Ishgardian, and still have a place in that world, but time and experience has relieved him of that idea. He maintains a home within the city's boundaries, but he knows he does not feel welcomed there. Her widened eyes give him an idea of what she may be thinking, and he seeks to dispel any worries that she may have on his behalf. ]
If you are worrying about me and my safety, I would ask that you not. It would take more than a mere blow to see to my end, not that any has attempted such a thing as yet. [ He is certain his words will not reassure her, so he accompanies them with a small smile. ] For the moment, all is well, and there is no reason for you to worry. [ She ought not worry about him regardless, as they have no relationship, even if the prodding in his mind is saying otherwise. If she agrees to his terms, they may well embark upon one, however. ]
You are... Complicated. [ He senses that there is quite the storm brewing beneath her outward exterior, and yet he can only guess at what thoughts might be chasing themselves about in her mind. ]
If you find that reaching a decision is too difficult, there are... ways around that. [ But just as he was loathe to drink her blood, he is also loathe to use those ways upon her, even if he does not wish to see his offer turned down. ]
I will say that the home I could give you may well be lacking, at least at the present, but should you accept, I will endeavor to alter that. [ After all, none has lived there but him in recent times, and so there is work to be done to make it acceptable for another living being.
His eyes trail downwards to where her own arm is entwined around his, and while he is still puzzled by her inability to speak, he knows what he wishes to do. ]
If it will make your decision easier, I could show you the place that I call home, and then you can decide. [ She spoke of an easier way of travel, and perhaps she could do that for them, as he is still recovering, and she seems terrified of leaving this cave. If there is a way to travel that would allow them to do so unnoticed, perhaps that is for the best.
For now, however, he has decided that he wishes to attempt calming what appears to be rattled nerves. He reaches for her slowly, so as not to startle her, and he gives a light pull, as if asking her to recline beside him. Truthfully, sitting up as he is doing is becoming uncomfortable, and if the pulling sensation from his wound is anything to go by, he should not take chances and risk reopening said wound by pushing himself too far. And while such a thought has not yet entered his mind nor his heart, the unconscious desire to be closer to her, to feel her in a way that he has not felt anyone in quite some time, still exists.
There is nothing untoward or menacing about his desire; it is simply the desire of a man who has been deprived of contact with others, mainly by choice but partially by the choices of other people. If she declines, he will understand, but he risks nothing by making the request. ]
no subject
Even if the feelings inside her tell her otherwise.
She frowns at his description of her. Complicated. Perhaps it is unbecoming or even unattractive of a thing to be as such. Yet, he does not pull away, dismiss her, or even speak foul names of her. He stays as he is with his touch and allowing her to touch him.
He would take her to his home and see if she would wish to dwell there? She had thought maybe he might set her with merely a room atop some shop or perhaps some attic hidden away as if she were a unlucky secret. That is, after all, what she is. The elder witch--the true Matoya--had never treated her as such. She was as much an adopted daughter as the white haired Miqo'te she had as well, but, the younger Matoya still felt as if she were something meant to be kept secret. Not for her safety but for the safety of others. Ser Aymeric sees her as no such thing it would seem and instead offers her a home.
A real home.
Oh, her heart and soul have declared the decision, but her mind fights against it. Even if there is no reason to for her to deny him at all. Rationality has seemingly fled and instead she fights against the trauma that has bound her by fear to the cave for so many, many years. Trauma she wishes she might shed like a coat, but it clings to her and demands to shape her into a woman who would lock herself away from the world to be safe.
Just as his touch on her cheek had, his pull seems to cut through the ongoing battle in her mind. Her two toned gaze follows him a she returns to laying down and her heart stops for a moment. The world seems to pause and in an instant, Matoya shifts to be on the bed beside him. No hesitation is in her movements as she lines herself against his body, hands still a hold of his hand and his arm. Her gaze returns to his and she presses his hand against her cheek once more. ]
...t-tell me I... that I can. [ Matoya's voice cracks and shakes unlike when she had just spoken moments before. ] T-that I can go... t-tell me.
[ She knows what ways he had spoken of but seems to be wary of using. Yet, from her perspective, she needs it. She needs the push, the pull, the command to move her. Otherwise the fear will keep her from leaving with him. She cannot shake it as she does not know how. ]
I, I want...
[ Matoya finds her words once more stunted despite the desperate look in her eyes to say what she feels. As someone who uses words to craft spells? The notion she cannot speak of herself is terrifying within its own right. Yet, losing him, is far more terrifying. ]
no subject
He refuses to allow his thoughts and his resentment to fester, but he was once one of those who had a life and a family before he was turned against his will and before illness took his parents. ]
Yes, you are complicated. But that does not have to be a bad thing. [ He keeps his hand where it is, but he lightly moves it against her face once or twice, as if hoping to soothe her and to remind himself of how a truly living being feels. He is alive, in a manner of speaking, but it is a different sort of living than what she has. ]
I could grow accustomed to this, although wisdom says that I should not. [ He finds he enjoys her closeness, as he has not experienced such a thing in many years. And even then, it was not like this. Truthfully, he is surprised that he does not repulse her or cause her to recoil because of who and what he is. Among his own complicated feelings is a sense of gratitude that she has not pushed him away. ]
You wish for me to order you to follow me? To compel you to go against what your own mind is telling you? That is not a common occurrence. [ To be compelled in such a way has never been received well by anyone, if the stories he has heard and read about can be believed. Speaking for himself, he has not used that ability on anyone, as his own loathing directed at himself is deep enough on its own. If he could recoil from himself, he would, but of course that is impossible. ]
Is leaving truly what you desire? [ Her half-finished, halting words seem to indicate that, and so he makes a first attempt. ]
You can leave this cave. You should leave this cave and accompany me. [ His words still leave room for personal choice, but there is a part of him that believes she will experience this initial attempt at compelling her and that will cause her to turn away from him. To have one's agency and will overridden does not sit well with the living, and he expects nothing different from her. ]
no subject
Her eyes flutter shut at his gentle touch. It is a gentle caress, and one that feels familiar to her. Just as his gaze and touching his hair is. Little things that make her wonder if they carry over from the life they shared once before. Or, perhaps there has been multiple lives? All she know for certain is that he is the one she is meant to be with.
She seemingly melts against his touch once he says he could be used to such things. A faint nod comes to his words, almost being entirely distracted by the gentle touch and the idea of being at his side like this. Something inside her clings to it. So much to the point that when he asks his next question, her eyes immediately snap to his and she leans against him. ]
Yes.
[ Otherwise, I'll never be able to leave.
Despite what he believes, Matoya gives an inhale and an exhale, doing her best to lower the walls around her. If her walls are lowered, then, it will be easier to believe what he says. Especially when she truly does wish to believe it. Her heart and soul scream that she can, but, her mind is so firmly lodged into the belief she is unable to. Yet, she forces her body to relax as much as she is able and never once breaks eye contact with him.
You can leave this cave. You should leave this cave and accompany me.
Matoya's gaze softens at his words as she focuses on his voice and how he speaks. Her ears relax and her tail seems to drape over her legs and his. She can? She should? The hand atop his moves to slip her fingers so they rest against his, while the other at his arm raises. She gently touches his chin and tilts her head. Can she truly leave... should she...?
I want to go with you.
A blue hue seems to try and reflect in her eyes; a sense that she is attempting to follow with his words and sink into them. ]
I should...? [ Matoya attempts to convince herself that what he says is true, but, some part of her mind rebels as he might suspect. Yet it is the fear that still lingers in her gaze that should be able to direct him as to why her mind puts up the fight. She has already given permission, and thus the idea of him bending her free will is not what chains her now. ] I should... but...
no subject
But even with that, he still remains lonely. And he detects a hint of that loneliness in her as well, although he also can only begin to imagine what sort of life she has led until now.
It seems as though he cannot stop himself from continuing to caress and touch her now that he has begun. He has had no one to care for, other than the old family cat, and said cat takes care of himself more often than not. Whether the inclination to touch her and to keep her at his side comes from himself or from something older and more intangible, he does not know, but he is not questioning it very much.
What he does know is that he would have her companionship if she would offer it, and her one word answer of affirmation is all he needs. He continues to touch her, hand moving lightly against her forearm as he chooses his words with care. ]
Come with me. [ There is more of a tone of command in those words, but he is not finished yet. ] You will come with me. [ He would use her name if he knew it, because names contain power, as do words. But there is a special significance to one's name. However, he does not know her name, so he chooses the next option available to him. ]
no subject
But, now... there is a reason she could leave the cave and the prison she has built in her mind.
Her eyelids flutter once more at his touch as it moves downwards. He could say nothing and she would feel mesmerized by the touch alone. At on point he will find where the dark fabric meets the ruffles on her sleeve to find her bare lower arms. A pleased, yet muffled sound comes from her as her head tilts to the side into the bed beneath them.
Then, he speaks again, and her gaze returns to his. A shiver runs up her spine at his tone. Something of how he says his commands makes it click in her mind. The blue hue in her eyes that reflects his own color flashes. Blue overtakes the two-toned color of her own and she leans entirely against him.
Yes, she should go with him. Yes, she can leave this cave and the things that trap her to it. Yes, she'll go with him. ]
I'll go with you. [ She repeats the command, but, the tone is not mindless. Beneath it, there is a promise and agreement. That is why the hand atop his moves to press against his bare chest and the one at his chin raises to brush her fingers over his lips. ] I'll go away with you.
[ Where will we go...?
Yet, instead of voicing her question, her eyes remain with his. The blue tint still overtakes her natural colors. She waits for his next command or his next suggestion. Perhaps, even questions, if he so wishes to learn more than she would share previously. Matoya remains pressed against him with her ears relaxed, tail draped around their legs, and hands on him. No sign can be seen of her attempting to break the hold he has on her. Why would she? She has him, and he has her now. ]
no subject
He too craves contact with another living person, and while it may seem selfish for him to seek that and ask her for that, he finds that this is one area in which he may allow himself to be selfish. Driven by instinct, he leans in just a little closer so that he might lightly brush his lips against one of her bared arms.
It seems then that his command has reached her and taken hold, and with a stab of guilt, he asks the question that he should have asked earlier than now. But considering that he was previously injured and unable to ask much of anything, it seems that now is the best opportunity to do so. ]
Tell me, what is your name? If you are to accompany me, I ought to know what I should call you.
[ And while he awaits her answer, he once again moves his hand to reach for another part of her: this time, it settles lightly on her ear, not moving just yet, but waiting to see how she might react. ]
no subject
If she was not under his directions, her ears and tail would raise in surprise as he brushes long her arm with his lips. Instead, a much more muted reaction occurs. She shivers against his touch, and the fingers on his chest begin to slowly move in invisible patterns. Her eyes drift halfway shut as she seems even further mesmerized by him; pulled further into the comfort and protection he offers. ]
K'lantaa. [ Her response is immediate and her tone in a slight daze due to his touches. A very normal Miqo'te name despite the monkier she uses. ] You should call me Lantaa. No one else. Only you.
[ She falls silent after having answered his question and following after his direction.
Then, his hand at her ear.
"Matoya"'s eyes widen only briefly as a look of anticipation comes through her dazed expression. It's a familiar touch, and one her heart seems to jump at the chance to have once more. She leans forward just a fraction--as he has yet to direct her to do so--and gently presses her nose to his jawbone.
He remains so mesmerizing, even without his ability to compell. She wants to touch him everywhere--to kiss him hard--to touch his hair. The whole experience leaves her dizzy, and she wonders how much of it is due to the natural attraction vampires breathe... and how much of it is Ser Aymeric.
She tilts her head to press her forehead to his jaw as she waits patiently for his next command. The dazed feeling has turned into something akin to floating, and she is content to simply bask in it. ]
no subject
Encouraged by her response, he circles his other arm around her so that he might pull her in even closer. ]
K'lantaa. [ He tries saying the name, and it feels strange on his tongue, but he likes the sound of it regardless. ] I shall call you Lantaa, then, and you may call me Aymeric.
[ He sees no need for the use of titles between them, even though the titles he holds are lesser and more insignificant when compared to others. It seems to him that she welcomes his touch, as she has not shied away from it, so he begins to lightly rub her ear once, and then again, repeating the movement watching for any signs of displeasure. ]
The house will become your home, for as long as you wish it to be. [ A thought occurs to him then, and he adds: ] If you think it beneficial, perhaps you could place your protection around the house as well.
[ The statement is more request than order, as she is under no obligation to do such a thing. But it seems to him that both of them would benefit from it were she to comply. ]
no subject
An affirmative but lazy twitch of her ears happens at the sound of her true name coming from him. Only to be followed by her all but melting against him ay the touch of her ear. She moves with his direction to press further against him, noticing how close she is to his bare neck. The urge to kiss him strikes again, but he has not given her the command nor inclination to perform such a thing.
Instead, her head tilts further into his hand so he might touch her more. She settles perfectly into his hold, as if made for it, and places all her weight against him and on the bed beneath him. ]
Aymeric.
[ My Aymeric.
She had known his name due to her price, but, it has much more meaning now. A name given willing and in a form of trust. A true name. Her heart gives a flutter as those ancient feelings seem to seep deeper into her.
Her tail brushes against his leg lazily as she continues to float in the dizzy feelings brought on by his orders. Her eyes flick to his face despite how she seems to almost be puddy in his hands; willing to be reshaped by him. ]
Home... [ A pause as she gently moves her forehead against his jaw as if to nudge it. ] A spell to protect home... I can place a spell...
no subject
Again, he smiles a small sort of smile as if pleased to see how she melts against him. He has never had the opportunity to care for another in such a way, and part of him fears that he will take a misstep or do something she does not approve of. But she seems to enjoy having her ear stroked, so he continues doing just that. ]
Does- Does this please you? [ He cannot stop the hesitation in his words, as he is hardly experienced with this sort of thing.
Her tail brushing against his leg sends a shiver up his spine as well. He has never felt a sensation quite like this before, and he certainly has not experienced this sort of closeness, but he finds that it likes all of it. ]
Would you be willing to? [ His tone of voice shifts, as if he is no longer attempting to compel her, but ask if she would consider doing such a thing of her own will or not. ]
no subject
Her state has yet to change despite his worries. She is still melted against him, head leaning into the hand that strokes her ear, wearing a content yet almost dazed expression. The blue hue remains covering her eyes despite his change in tone or his hesitation. A small gentle smile touches her face as her ear gives a gentle twitch under his fingers. ]
Yes, it does. [ Lantaa's tone shifts to something more of herself--the very same he heard when she spoke to him the first time.
Her eyes drift shut as the hand on his chest lifts to rest on his cheek. Then, her hand halts, as if her body has realized that her movements were not commanded or implied to be done. She does not freeze as a soldier might waiting for orders. Instead, she continues to rest her weight against him and merely waits.
Lantaa takes note, somewhere in her mind, of his reaction to her tail moving. A part of her wishes to shrink away in embarrassment, but he has not said he dislikes the touch. She keeps her tail where it is for now until he directs her to move it away from him.
His question causes her hazed eyes to open once more. Lantaa's gaze meets his immediately. The intensity behind the haze says that while she is following his suggestions and commands? She agrees to them. She wants to follow what he offers. There is just something, her own mind, that keeps her from voicing it, without another to help. ]
Yes, I would be willing to. [ Her voice shifts once more back into the obedient tone. Lantaa shifts slightly against him to press herself to him further. ] What else would you have me do for you? Tell me.
no subject
Could she be the one he was meant to find? Is it possible for them to belong together? He has no answers to those questions, even though he has not yet begun searching inside himself for them.
Truthfully, what he desires is to hear her answer for herself without him using his powers of persuasion upon her. That is why he has somewhat relaxed his efforts in hopes of hearing what her true thoughts and feelings are. After all, it is not love if she is forced to answer against her will. Neither is it right if he forces her to stay if she would rather leave. He knows very little of such things, but if they are to be together, then he wishes for it to be genuine, not forced.
A small voice in his mind contradicts him, saying that he is only bringing to the surface what she has left unsaid, but he still fears that what he is doing is forcing her to say what he wants to hear and not what she truly wishes to say.
When her hand leaves his chest to move to his cheek, he does not move either, but he feels a slight stab of disappointment. She is still touching him, of course, but he rather liked the sensation of her fingers tracing along his sensitive skin. Many thought that those like him were not sensitive at all and could not truly appreciate being touched or giving touches in return. That is not the case.
But before he can say anything more, he notes the way her tone changes and he hears the familiar tone of one who is being compelled. Yet another stab in his heart is felt then, as if he feels disappointed in himself for relying upon these methods. In so many ways, he feels as if he is the disgrace, the disappointment... and certainly the unwanted, as many have turned away from him in the past.
But already he has an answer to her questions, and it is as genuine as it is possible to be. ]
It is not what I would have you do for me, but rather what I would have you do for yourself. Do you have any wants or needs? I would see those fulfilled.
no subject
[ Lantaa would admit that she had no dreams of the future herself. One day Master Matoya would return, and she would simply fall back into the role of student. She could never leave the cave and feel that she was not being hunted. Then again, she still fears that the moment she steps out of the cave the men in armor and capes will be waiting with their weapons pointed at her. Such fear keeps one from truly dreaming and more... wishing that she might find the one that was hers. That by some chance, he might walk into the cave for some wish for her to grant, and she might be finally free of her self-made prison.
Her eyes widen ever so slightly at the realization that this moment could be that very wish. That perhaps, somehow, by granting the Azure Dragoon's wish, he brought her the one person that could grant her own. She shifts to press her entire person against him. The hand stilled on his face moves once more, this time into his hair to brush it away from his face. Her hazed gaze seems alert then, piercing into his own, as if to ask if he truly would take her away.
It's you... you're him. But, would you... do you wish to be with me now? In this life?
His question blindsides her. No one has asked such a thing outside the woman and other Miqo'te who took her in. All that come to the small cave seek for their own fulfillment. None ask what she desires. They curse her price she names, regret their wish, and hold grudges. The only time they return is to settle the payment and leave her where they found her. Each time a small piece of Lantaa feels chipped away for she could not even make those who asked wishes of her happy. Instead, she retreated under the mask they all thought her to be, waiting for Master Matoya to return so she might hide away from the world. It seemed that the world truly did not want her.
Tears gather in her eyes that remain hazed. Despite that, as he has yet to break the orders, Lantaa's own gaze pushes through. She begins to s hake once more as does her hand buried in his hair. ]
I want... [ Her own tone once more shines through as the tears in her eyes start to slip down her face. ] I want somewhere to be home... s-somewhere I can be me. S-someone to take me away... w-where they can't find me again... s-someone to...
[ Lantaa tilts her head into the bed beneath them. Her fingers tangle in his hair as the other rests back on his jawbone. Once more her eyebrows knit as she knows she must continue to answer him. ]
My someone.
[ More tears gather and slip down her face. They are her feelings, even if they feel so very old. A new fear strikes her then. What if he has yet to realize what she has? What if he only sees her as a comfort because all others have turned him away? Her heart wishes to cry out that it is her, and beg him to realize it, but her own mind once more tries to cage the feeling. It is not rational, nor is it possible.
Somehow, perhaps due to his complement, those feelings seem to push past the trauma she has endured in this life. Lantaa gently guides his head forward to rest his forehead to hers, hoping that he might see her through the state she asked him to place her in. She hopes that he can see her past his own walls and fortifications. Her out of all the other souls he may have met. ]
I'm here, but I can't leave... I can't force myself to... [ She whispers it, almost as if she can speak it on her own in such a manner. ] Y-you've found me. It's me....
[ She straightens her shoulders as another fear strikes into her, leaving a wound on her heart. What if he cannot recognize her anymore? Either through rebirth or what he had been turned into this life. Or, perhaps, she is far too damaged and unable to be the person he loved. Lantaa's eyebrows knit as her lip trembles at the thoughts and fears trying to cage her once more and keep her as she has been: withdrawn and a self made prisoner of her cave.
She shakes still with the longing and fear return to her gaze despite the blue hue attempting to remain prominent in her eyes. There is a sense of helplessness inside her that grows as the fear grabs ahold of her just as it had moments ago.
Her voice remains a whisper even as the fear starts to claw its way into her tone: ]
...can you not see me anymore?
no subject
It was always an ambition of his to become a Temple Knight, but now more than ever, he sees it as a way to become stronger so that he might defend those who are unable to defend themselves. In his mind, this is a better use of his time and of his life than giving himself over to revenge.
The answers to her unspoken questions have not yet occurred to him, but even if he has not thought up the answers to them in so many words, it seems clear enough that he wishes to be with her, to keep her close for as long as she wants to be there and still has need of his protection. He has no intention of turning her away or of driving her away, not when their paths have finally crossed after so long. So long? It has not been very long at all. That contradiction in his mind clashes with what his soul believes to be truth: they have been together before in another time and place, and now they have once more come together again. He may not know just how many lives they have lived through together, but it seems that his soul is telling him it has been a very long time indeed. ]
I can give you a home, and my company, if you wish to have it. And by taking you into my home, I am resolved to protect you, whatever the cost. No one shall take you away as long as I am around. [ And when he is not, he will take steps to ensure she remains hidden and protected. ]
Am I...? [ His breath catches slightly as her fingers continue tangling themselves into his hair. ] Could I be your someone?
[ The clanging sound in his soul is telling him that yes, he is her someone, but he needs the confirmation from her, if she can give it.
He realizes perhaps too late that more tears are beginning to pour down her face, and without even the slightest hesitation, he reaches out for her with a careful hand so that he might wipe them away. ]
I would see you happy, and no longer needing to cry or be afraid. I- I would see you be yourself, not needing to be coaxed into giving answers, not even by me. [ And with that, his regret for having used that ability on her at all reaches a maximum, and something inside him recoils from himself. The spell, or the coercion, however it may be called seems to have momentarily been broken.
And then, as if a love he once felt so many lives ago now is resurfacing, he positions himself so that they are looking at each other eye-to-eye. One hand slides gently beneath her chin and carefully moves to tilt her face upwards. If she resists, he will also stop, but he wishes to see her with nothing getting in their way. ]
Lantaa...
[ He leans in so that their faces are just inches apart, and a small but no less genuine smile crosses his own face. ]
I can see you.
no subject
She wishes to shout that the matter is not could he be, but that he is her someone. Her other half, the one that she is meant to be with no matter how many times the aetheric sea tends to see they are reborn. As he continues to speak, tears continue to steadily slip down her cheeks. However, her expression turns from fear and concern to surprise. She may still cry and be unable to give certain answers, as trauma cannot be dismissed over night. However, in time, perhaps she will at least feel that she can tell him. If nothing else, she may be able to speak to him of it in whispered tones as she is now.
Lantaa moves with his guidance, her heart beating heavy as their eyes connect once more. Her head tilts with his fingers and a blush takes her cheeks. The ears atop her head lift at the sound of her name leaving his lips. That alone may have been enough to settle her back into the haze of his coercion. However, the next words are what truly makes her senses fully return and the blue hue disappear from her eyes.
I can see you.
She inhales quickly before a gentle cry comes from her. Her other hand slides into his hair as well so that both tangle in the locks and comb it back. Lantaa shuts her eyes for only a moment to stifle another cry of happiness and relief. It's him, and he knows it's her. The wave of relief is so powerful she feels herself sink further into the mattress below them. A nudge is given to his nose with hers, followed by another, before her fingers move to gently massage the back of his head.
They're finally together again... her one and only.
Lantaa takes a moment to reign in her emotions and the tears finally begin to slow. Her eyes finally open again, clear and filled with over brimming love. They are still practically strangers in so many ways, but she feels that it is more of a stepping stone than a hindrance in this life they will share. Her thumbs gently brush at his temples as a wide smile touches her face. They'll be leaving to together, and will live together...
She gently presses her lips to his cheek then. ]
I-if we are to leave together... your wound will need more attention. [ Her gaze briefly shifts behind him as if to gesture to the idea. Then, after a moment where she pauses to compose herself more, her two-toned gaze returns to his eyes. She nudges his nose once more. ] And you will need to eat to have the strength to make the journey, even if I can make it shorter.
[ Lantaa continues to massage the back of his head with her fingertips, brushing his hair in no particular way. Her thumbs move from his temples to to the line of his hair. Then, she smiles once more at him. ]
You need to eat, my love. [ The petname comes easily to her as if she has always said it. ] I-if you are to protect me... t-to give me a home? T-then, please, let me help you with this when you need it.
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In all honesty, Lantaa's willingness to assist with his injury and her apparent eagerness to remain by his side has taken him by surprise. Not only is she a witch, but she is, as they both have noted, a stranger to him in this life. She is under no obligations to assist him or to be this close to him, and yet there is a part of him that wishes to believe she would do so without having to be compelled.
And because of that, he resolves to never compel her to act again, unless it is somehow in her best interests. And it well may be, given how she seems unable to freely speak about the things that trouble her or about things she wishes to say. Perhaps in that sense, they can help each other, although he would much prefer it if she spoke of her own accord and not because he was influencing her actions.
As before, he responds to her touches by going slack beside her, as if the feeling of her hands in his hair has released some sort of relaxation mechanism inside him. He is still present with her, but he is feeling a kind of contentment that he has never known before. Or if he has, it has been some long years since he felt anything remotely like this.
But just as suddenly as it started, he hears what she is saying and his posture stiffens by just a fraction. That she needs to further tend to his wound does not trouble him; instead, it is the notion that he must eat that gives him pause. Of course he needs to continue regaining his strength for the journey ahead and for anything that may come after, but this is one area in which he still has difficulty accepting. ]
Of course. Of course I need to eat, and I will. But not from you if I can help it. I will not risk bringing you harm.
[ He can appreciate her willingness to help, and of course he has relished the taste of her blood, but he does not wish to let that door open once more. She is not a fountain for him to help himself to, after all. ]
Surely there are small animals that roam around the outside of this cave. If I can find one or two, or even a handful, that will be enough.
[ And, at the last moment, he finds he cannot help but add: ] Am I your love now? [ It is the closest he has come to offering a tease, and she might note the way his eyes briefly light up with something resembling amusement. ]
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Yes, you are my love... m-my one and only in any life.
[ Lantaa tilts her head slightly. Her gaze softens into a loving gaze. ] There are, but, what you need is nourishment in order to return your strength. They will only sate your thirst, but, not replenish what you need. The amount you would need.. i-it... there would be so many, and it would pull unwanted attention. We both know this. [ She smiles at him then and lovingly nudges his nose again. ] Trust me, my love. You won't hurt me.
[ She gently pulls him close once more to rest his forehead to hers. Her eyes meet his, demanding all his attention to be on her. With a few more strokes to his hair, Lantaa removes one hand from his hair to cup his cheek, then trail her fingers down his jawline. Part of her worries that by doing this it may push her away. That by attending to his needs, he will dismiss her and decide that she truly is best left in her cave alone. After a moment she swallows before her ears stand on end and offers one more smile. ]
Aymeric. [ His name is said with an alluring tone to garner all of his attention. Even the side that he represses with all his might. Lantaa pulls him closer to lure him further into her gaze. Her fingers brush over his lips as her eyes seem to glow. ] My love. I know, you're hungry, and that you need something you deny yourself of. I promise to help you however you chose ... but for now you need to let me help you.
Will you?
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I can scarcely imagine what I might have done in this life or any other life to deserve this. [ He has no qualms admitting that. Of course he feels undeserving of anything that could be remotely considered good. But undeserving and thankless are not the same things. ] I do not know what caused our paths to cross, whether it was fate or a particular blessing, but I am grateful that they did.
[ For his part, his expression falls just slightly as the conversation turns once more towards her urging him to eat as much as he needs. ] Surely you understand why I am hesitant. I do not wish to harm you, despite your reassurances that I will not. I- I am afraid that I will not be able to stop myself, and... You may not survive. [ That causes his throat to nearly close with fear and revulsion because of his needs, and for just a moment, he allows himself to rest against her unmoving while he wars with himself about what he ought to do.
Perhaps it is good that he is not sitting up at this moment, because if he were, he may well have lost his balance. He has deprived himself of what he needs, because of his reluctance to drink from her, and the effects of that have now begun to surface.
Even as her voice washes over him in a far different tone than she has used thus far, his eyes slide closed and his free hand moves to clasp the side of his head. Because he is lying down, the effects of the wave of dizziness that has settled in are not so apparent, but he is suddenly tense and not relaxed as he was just moments ago.
After a moment, his eyes slit open again, and their normal blue color appears slightly dimmed as he searches to meet her gaze once more. He does not answer aloud, as the words do not come, so he gives just the barest of nods which in turn sets the world spinning again.
Perhaps he was foolish to deprive himself for as long as he has, but the thought of drinking a living person's blood is all but unbearable to him. Still, he feels himself being pulled into giving a consenting answer, and there is no taking it back now. ]
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Maybe it has nothing to do with deserving... and it just simply is. [ Lantaa affectionately nudges him once more. She cannot tell why it feels as if they have spent so many lives apart, or if they simply were unable to spend fulfilled lives together. Mayhap it only feels so very long because of the lives they have led now: secluded from others by choice, thinking it for the best for themselves. ]
I do understand. [ She gives a small nod to further demonstrate the fact. Her slender fingers brush along his skin in an attempt to comfort him. ] But, I know you will stop yourself. You said you would protect me... so I can't see why you would be unable to stop yourself. I... I trust you in this, as I trust you to help me speak when my mind won't allow me to.
[ The tips of her ears twitch as he falls against her. Anxiousness stabs her heart. He has lost more blood than she first thought. What she had given him must have only been enough to aid him in being alert and conscious. That fact would also lead her to believe he has not had enough to heal on his own. All the damage that has been repaired is of her own magic. He will need his wound tended to more then once he has eaten.
A new sense of resolve fills her to accompany the anxiousness. It will be different from granting the wishes of others or even healing him. She will need to make certain he feels cared for and safe, otherwise he may panic and fight against her.
Even then, she knows the nerves also come from the simple fact of how personal this is. He is her one and only, not a stranger she holds no connections with.
The hand still on the back of his head gently brushes his hair once more to soothe him. ]
Aymeric, my love, look at me. [ Her tone still attempts to lure him to her care; something that seems too tempting to be without, yet filled with love for him.
Lantaa makes certain she holds his attention, her lit eyes attempting to captivate his dim ones. Her fingers move once more so that only her thumb brushes along his bottom lip. The others settle under his chin to tilt his head up by a fraction as her tail begins to gently brush along his leg once more. She searches to find not only the knight, but the vampire, in his gaze. She means to snare the side of him that he hates and represses in hopes that he will realize on all lives she does this out of the love she has for him. Love that will hopefully have the repressed side desire her and trust her. ]
I need to know you will allow me to help, and not simply because I say. [ Lantaa carefully leans forward to brush her lips beside his mouth while her thumb still moves gently back and forth along his lower lip. She does not find herself the most inticing or eye turning person, but, all she need do is have his repressed instincts wish to have her. Then, she can direct him how to eat safely.
At least she hopes she comes off as seductive as she believes she is. Now, it is time to see if she has captured his whole attention. Her voice drops to an inticing whisper:, ]
Tell me truthfully, my love. Am I something you would want? Was my blood satisifying... something you would desire to have again?
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From sheer force of will alone, he manages to form a few words, although it is not the answer he wished to give. ] Why do you trust me so? [ Why, when I cannot trust myself? He has given her no proof that he will do as he said, only his word, and what good are words if there are no actions behind them? Simply put, there has not been time for him to prove that he will do as he has promised, so it seems odd to him that she trusts him so readily. Perhaps it is not so odd considering their bond that has lasted over many lives, but in this life, he is someone to whom trust is easily given. ]
Lantaa. [ He internally curses himself and this sudden weakness that is keeping him from saying everything on his mind. All he can do is reach for her and try to grasp onto her hand as if that will keep him grounded as his senses try to run from him.
She gives an order for him to look at her, and despite his weakness and inability to move, the enticing tone in her voice stirs up strength from some hidden reserve and he manages to move his head slightly so that he is looking her in the eyes. Her touches on his lip and her tail brushing against his leg, and the way she continues brushing his hair, all form a spell of their own, and if not for the captivating tone in her voice, he might have let his eyes slide closed again and allow himself to drift off. He certainly feels weak enough to simply slide away into sleep, but it seem that his new (old) companion will not allow him to.
As her efforts continue, the ever-present battle inside him between his vampire side and his undamaged, unsullied side continues to rage, but the longer she talks and the more she touches him, giving him those brief but still meaningful brushes against his lips (a sensitive area, although he refuses to admit that), a different sort of haze falls over his eyes: not dim, and not overly bright either, but there is a hint of redness to it as he watches and listens to her. ]
I- [ A slight tension forms in his shoulders as the internal struggle continues. ] Please. [ It is the closest he will come to asking for her help, and even then, he does not use those exact words, merely that one word entreaty for her assistance.
A switch has seemingly been flipped, and the reticent man that refused to eat his fill even though he needed it has been replaced by another with no such reservations. ]
I want you... I want to taste you. [ If he were not driven by need and by the heady feeling brought on by her efforts to entice him, those words would make him recoil, but instead, he looks at her with desire and in a way, with love.
As if what some would call a bloodthirsty vampire is capable of loving another. ]
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Her expression softens at his question. ] You could have tried to strike me down when you awakened. Regardless of your current state of being? You are a Temple Knight. Wouldn't that mean that you should have ended my life knowing what I am? Instead, you asked me to join you. That is trust enough... besides what I feel for you.
[ She continues to watch his reactions, nodding once he has given her permission in so many words. He will not admit it plainly it seems, so what little ground he gives her will need to be enough. Her hand in his hair curls slightly as she presses her face to the side of his for a moment. ]
Don't hate me for this. [ A ridiculous fear to be certain, but, she cannot help but worry of it. What if, once he has eaten and come more to his senses, he pushes her away for enticing him into something he abhors? ] That's all that I ask.
[ Her tail lifts slightly with her eyes widening in surprise. A part of her did not exprct it to work--that he would fight against it with all of his might. Lantaa starts into the redness of his eyes. A small shock runs up her spine with an unexpected thrill attached to it. She does not know if it is because it is Aymeric looking at her so, or because his natural abilities of being a vampire have ensnared her as well. Her breath catches and she feels a certain anticipation rising in her. ]
The little you had a few days ago was good then? [ She nods, but leaves the statement open for him to comment more on if he wishes. Lantaa then presses a kiss to the side of his mouth, attempting to show she desires both sides of him as well.
Teasing a vampire in such a state is hardly a wise idea. So, she shifts to sit up regardless if he speaks more of it or not. Lantaa guides him to rest his head in her lap, shifting her head to the top to continue untangling the knots in his hair. The fingers at his mouth give one final pass over his lips before she rests her lower arm near his head. He will need to grasp and take her arm for himself, but she leaves the opening free for him to move and do as he wishes. ]
Once you've eaten, I'll see to the wound on your back. You can sleep all you'd like once I'm finished.
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I could not have done it. Why should you not be allowed to live? [ He has just enough of his senses remaining to give voice to those questions. ] Why should I be allowed to live, when you face threats and danger every day? [ Or rather, he assumes that she would face danger on a daily basis if not for the fact that she had hidden herself inside her cave.
His body seems to react of its own accord, pressing slightly against hers as if desperately asking for continued closeness with her. Her touches and caresses are stirring up feelings that he assumed were long dead, and now that they have come to life, he only wants more.
How could he ever hate her when she is giving him things he never dreamed he could have?
With such a willing subject just inches away and offering herself to him, he finds he can hardly resist now that his darker instincts have been awoken. The part of him that hated himself for what is now an inextricable part of his life has been suppressed, and in its place is someone else: someone else with an appetite and a need for sustenance. But even then, he is not a mindless creature looking to eat and nothing more.
Instead of answering her question concerning his opinion regarding her taste, he offers her a small smile, and if she is looking closely enough, she might see a brief glimpse of pointed teeth. But he does not use them just yet; instead, he presses her lips against her arm once she has guided him so that he is resting in her lap. A vampire he may be, but he has not completely lost all measure of politeness, even for a creature who thrives on the blood of others.
His movements are slow, given the lingering weakness, but no less purposeful. He takes hold of her arm lightly with one hand and leans forward just a fraction, mouth open and teeth just barely bared. One pointed fang lightly pierces the skin on her arm, and with what might be seen as a surprising sort of gentleness, he presses his lips against the spot waiting for a droplet of blood to form. He needs to feed, but he has just enough presence of mind to not treat her roughly or carelessly. ]
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You also face them every day in your war. [ A gentle nod is given in the direction of his back. ] Life here is not easy... and perhaps it has never been easy.
[ A faint blush takes to her face as he presses in return. No rejection is within her gaze, merely embarrassment and anticipation. What those might be for is something that has yet fully entered her mind. She is entirely focused on him and caring for him. The thought strikes her that she has yet to care for another in such a way. Someone who needs healing... and nurturing... not just simply wishes of their heart. A proper sort of care.
Lantaa feels her cheeks grow hot at his smirk and pointed teeth. Her heart beats loud in her eyes for a moment with anticipation in her gaze. She truly had not thought he would find her blood appetizing or even good. She is an accursed witch after all. Surely that would have something to do with tatse and desire for her. He is a vampire, and those urges and tendencies must be there even if he attempts to ignore it.
The gentleness surprises her as he takes his hand and plants a kiss where his teeth will break into. Lantaa did not think he would be careless or hurt her, but she cannot help but wonder if he treats her with care because of their bond. She hopes that even with his instincts guiding him, he remembers who she is. She hopes that he finds her desirable, her blood appetizing , and treats her with care because she is his other half.
Her arm tenses from the reflex of being bit, but she does not pull away or even show any pain or fear. Of course the bite hurts to some degree. It simply is not enough to make her wince or recoil. Not when she can tell he is attempting to be gentle and care for her despite his needing to feed. ]
Hmm.
[ She glances down at her arm and feels that perhaps it will not be enough. So, Lantaa flexes her arm in a way to encourage the blood to rise to the surface for him. All the while her other hand brushes the lengths of his locks before returning to the top of his head to continue the calming notion. ]
Thank you, for being gentle. [ She blushes at her next words, in which she means in a teasing manner. At least, she means to a degree. Her tail begins to sway from one side to the next happily. ] I hope that when you spoke of desiring me, it wasn't only to eat something you find appealing...
[ Her blush deepens on her face at her own words. Surely he would not desire her beyond companionship and potentially one to give him substance he needs. There is little to desire after all. A Miqo'te compared to a woman of Ishgard? There is no contest.
Still, she finds herself hoping he does desire her. She would kiss him then and there, and touch him, but she would have it when he is in control of himself. Not that he would wish to kiss her... ]
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/rolls this as done!