synthneon | bloody tears || ❝ our fate so darkly romantic, i will never leave your side. ❞

Entry tags:

bloody tears || ❝ our fate so darkly romantic, i will never leave your side. ❞

bloody tears

AU PLOTLINE

The land is wrought with terror
He roams the countryside...
A journey far from doner
Racing the setting sun this battle must be won CODE BY TESSISAMESS

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Lantaa intends to give him as much love as she is able: as much as he needs. Despite the perception of others as to what the Witch of the Wilds must be like? Lantaa is a woman who only wishes to see that others are cared for. The nature of what she is certainly is a part of it, but, she finds she truly does love to see others have what it is they need in their lives.

Oh, but, she does enjoy his touch. She wishes that he would know her like none other will. While such things may be heightened by the feeling given to her by his bite? The yearning for him comes from deep in her heart and soul, just as her love for him does. Her head tilts to the side with his fingers moving the fabric at her skin and her breathing deepens.

What makes her happy? This. Him. ]

Caring for others... [ Her eyes half open with a teasing smile. ] You.

[ He may not appreciate or even enjoy what she is to do. Although, the only way to know is to try. Lantaa shifts her weight on his hips ever so slightly. She places hers directly over his, pressing herself to him. The motion is the only way she can think to encourage him touching her more. Of course, he might decide enough is enough and remove her. ]

[ But what of her needs? What of her wants and desires? His own clamor to be fulfilled, but after so long of diminishing himself and putting himself last, if only in his mind, it seems only right that he do what he can to meet her every need and want. Never mind that it seems as though he has already begun to do so. There is always more that can be done.

His hands continue their exploration, as he has not had the chance to feel another in such a way in a very long time. And then a desire to be touched in return arises, but he does his best to push that aside. He is a distasteful creature from his own perspective, and although she has not shied away from him, there is a part of him that still expects her to react with revulsion. ]

Well, I certainly do not require care like this- [ He gestures in the direction of the wound on his back. ] On a daily basis. But I could grow accustomed to having another around that I could care for. Although- I imagine I am not quite so skilled in the art of caring for another as you are. [ Given his relative isolation from others, that is. ]

L- [ He begins to say something, perhaps to ask how he might care for her and see that her needs are met, but then she positions herself in such a way that their hips are touching. What is more, she has shifted her weight and has begun to press herself against him. That surge of desire sweeps over him again, and he finds his hands tightening just slightly around her as if he needs the physical contact to ground him, or else he might be swept away.

Instinctively, he moves his own hips to meet hers so that they are truly pressed against each other. If there was any doubt that he liked this, well, it ought to have been dispelled. ]

Show me how to care for you, Lantaa. [ There is a certain sensual tone in his voice as he tests the waters by slowly rubbing his hips against hers, creating just the slightest bit of friction between them. ] Do you like to be touched like this?

[ Lantaa finds her needs and wants are very small and perhaps insignificant. A true home to call her own, someone to share her life with, and to no longer be afraid of being who and what she truly is. They are such basic things that anything else seems to be a gift or something precious. Touching her and even speaking to her the way he is? They are things she never thought was possible for her. Who would wish to love and care for her?

And, how is he anymore distasteful than she? He is still a Temple Knight, and to some degree accepted in his home. People came to her home to erase them from existence--just as the white mages they decended from. In her mind, she is truly unwanted by all in the world. Mayhap some relic or some cursed being that has no place. ]

You may be more skilled than me. I... I have not been able to care for any in a very long time. [ Her voice drops to an unexpected whisper. A habit, it seems, when she must say something that normally dhe may not be able to. ] Granting wishes and caring for someone... they aren't the same thing.

[ A sound akin to a squeak leaves her as his hands tighten at her sides. Then, he moves, and she feels as if the world has come to a stop. The logical side of her mind knows that the sudden sensual desire is brought on by sharing her blood, but her body seems to care little as to the why or how. Her heart is quick to agree, while the yearning from her soul seems to affirm that their behavior is quite normal. They have shared one another and been with one another countless times. How should this life different?

Yet, the logical side still protests at how any of this has come around. Perhaps everything is illogical because they exist outside the norm. There should be no standard to hold herself to if the world would rather her not exist. The opinion that does matter belongs to the man with his arms around her.

Everything swirls in her mind, round and round, thoughts compiling onto one another. Then, they stop. His tone catches her whole attention as his movements cause her whole person to shiver under his touch. Her heart beats faster as her eyes seem to glaze over slightly. No doubt it will set his darker instincs off.

A small moan leaves her at her first attempt to answer him. Then, she swallows the emotions in her throat to speak. ] Yes, I...

[ Her head leans forward to rest against his neck as she shivers. Another pleased deep moan comes from her as his hips continue to move. Hadn't she believed that she would wish him good-bye whe he had awoken...? Now they are... ]

Edited 2022-11-05 16:14 (UTC)

[ He would say he, himself, is the insignificant one here. He barely knows her story in this lifetime and understands even less why she is so fearful, but it seems to him that all she needs to do is start over and make a new kind of life for herself that is free of everything that is seemingly holding her back. He does not know that she is a white mage, only that she is a witch, but he still feels compelled to do anything that is in his power to help her. The trajectory of his own life seems to have stagnated, at least in his opinion, so why not expend his energies attempting to assist another?

He is a Temple Knight, yes, but how far is that going to take him? What sort of life could one such as he have? Perhaps if he escorted her to another realm, or another city, even a village far from this place, she might be able to reinvent herself and begin anew in a place where none knows who she is or where she has come from. Perhaps that is what he should set his sights on for the time being. ]

I highly doubt that. I have not had much in the way of company and even less opportunity to care for another, except for other knights. And they hardly need care, unless they find themselves in danger. But that is the lot of a soldier and thus hardly unique. [ In his eyes, she is the unique one, something to be treasured and cared for, and that is, in part, what makes him so adamant about doing what he can for her. ]

I would wager that you with your granting wishes have been of far greater use than I, a mere rank and file soldier.

[ His own thoughts are spinning, and he can barely make sense of them, but in the midst of it all, one thought is clearer than the rest, and he realizes that he must tell it to her now before he loses his nerve. ]

Lantaa, I- [ He hesitates just briefly, but when he speaks again, it seems as though it is more than just Aymeric de Borel speaking, but the voices of all his past lives speaking with him, to say the one thing that perhaps some of them did not have the chance to. ] I believe that I... [ This is sheer foolishness, and yet he feels compelled in a different way to say what is on the tip of his tongue. ]

I care about you... [ No, that was not all he wished to say. He knows he must say it now or he may never voice these words. ] I love you.

[ They feel so very foreign to him, but he knows them to be true, just as he knows that he wishes to kiss her fully on the mouth. And since he is already following his instincts and his heart, he decides to take that step and do that very thing. ]

[ Would it truly be that easy? Could they simply run away to some remote village, shed what they are, and live a life together? A part of her would rejoice at the idea--for that is all she truly wishes for. A quiet life they can share together with perhaps a family one day. Surely they had a family once...

Lantaa finds there is so much she wishes to tell him. Things that she has never told anyone; things she wishes to bring herself to say but seem firmly locked away. If he asked, with or without compelling her, then she might be able to tell him. She also wishes to know him as well. What things make him smile and laugh? Does he ha e a place to hide he would share with her? There are so many things she wishes to simply know.

However, her train of thought stops as he begins to speak. Her gaze locks to his as her breathing quickens again in anticipation with her tail swaying just a bit faster. Her reaction changes as how he begins to speak does. Lantaa pulls her head from his neck to hold his gaze face to face.

I love you.

Something within her seems to almost slide into place. Her eyes widen once more and her tail stills. There is no disbelief or dismisall in her expression--merely longing. Despite not yet knowing him in this life? She feels a relief wash over her.

I thought I would never hear those words from you again.

Her hands move once more to his face, then up into his hair as he kisses her fully. Lantaa makes a gentle sound--almost a mewl--as her lips press to his. The hunger, the need, and the desire still course through her body, causing her hips to press down onto him again. Lantaa tilts her head slightly, moving to learn how his body and lips move and feek in this life. Despite all differences, the kiss feels familiar. ]

[ There is a part of him that longs for a simpler kind of life. Even though he has been raised among those who are quite well-to-do, or at least equipped with the means to live comfortably, there are times when he admits that he tires of the political intrigues and the near constant grappling for power and position. To be an ordinary man, even a village man is something he cannot imagine, but it seems quite attractive to him regardless.

And if she has so much that she wishes to tell him, the same is true for him. He has not had many companions, and naturally Estinien cannot always be there. Nor does his friend have much patience for longwinded conversation. Not that Aymeric would ask him to, but there are times when he wishes he had another that he could speak with.

And no sooner do those words leave him then he wonders if perhaps saying them now was far too premature. That they have known each other across many different lives seems clear enough, but in this one, they have only just begun and yet here he is making declarations of love. But it does not feel wrong to do so, and even if he could call the words back, he knows that he would not.

He does love her, and he wants to protect her, but above all of that, he wishes to have a life alongside her. For now, the only thing on his mind is kissing her and showing her all the love that he can through his actions. His hands also move so that they are touching her hair, being careful not to tug or pull, but simply touching the strands with care.

Have they done this before? It seems so familiar to him, but the memory of it seems so far away. Perhaps they have not been together like this in a long time, longer than either of them can understand. If that is the case, then it seems as though they both have much catching up to do. ]

[ While on the other hand, Lantaa cannot begin to imagine what it must be like to be a lord or lady in a city whose spires reach into the heavens. Perhaps she will learn. All she truly knows is how to live away from the sight of others, study, and do acts of kindness away from the public's eye. Those that come to her seek some sort of personal gain. Even Estinien had come to her, now twice, with an intention of his own gain. Power to kill Nidhogg, and to save his best friend.

How could the words be premature? She was the one that had first mentioned the word, even if it was in the context of term of endearment. She had been the one to recognize the immediate magnetism towards him. Although, she had also been the one convinced they could not be together. Now the thought lingers if it was truly due to circumstances in their current life, or a sentiment firmly in her soul because of how many lives it had been.

As soon as his fingers move into her hair, Lantaa moves as well. This time she leans backwards, gently guiding him to join her. She lays on her back with him above her, fingers moving through his hair and once again gently massaging his scalp. Her heart still thunders and her body still wishes to move, but, Lantaa forces herself to be composed. He does not want to seem to pursue such a move at the moment. Therefore, she will not. If all he wishes is to be physically close and affectionate? Then, that is what she will do.

His wound still needs tending to.

She then seemingly melts in his hold and into the bed below them. Her head tilts into where his fingers play with her hair and a contented sound leaves her. Lantaa gently nudges his cheek once more. ]

I love you. [ Whispering, or tones within that range, seem the be the easiest for her to speak the things close to her heart. Anything louder and her own fears and trauma seem to wish to grab on them. A shaky inhale is done before she swallows the emotions in her throat in an attempt to push herself to say as she wishes. ] You may not have always been what you are... a-and I wasn't a-always a witch. I'm--I'm not even a-a real witch. Not by what they think... just a caretaker u-until the real Master Matoya returns...

[ Lantaa can still remember the day Master Matoya and the other Miqo'te left. The real Matoya seemed adamant that the younger Miqo'te leave the cave and have a life and adventures of her own. She even gave Lantaa instructions on how to seal and hide the cave away until the day came that she would return. However, until now, Lantaa had not had a reason to leave. She imagines that the older woman who raised her will be nothing but joyful for the decision... while making comments that might give another impression.

Her hands begin to shake, but regardless, she pushes through to do as she wishes. One hand continues to massage the back of his head while the other pulls away. It takes another moment for her to work up the courage to do as she wishes. He may have further questions or may not even truly understand what she is about to show him. The soul she loves more than any other may be Aymeric, a Temple Knight, but surely he would not be blinded by such things.

Surely...

Lantaa turns her hand so that her palm faces upwards. A flourish of white and green light sprouts almost like a flower before revealing a small glittering opal. At the center of the jewel rests the insignia that she imagines Temple Knights would see as an enemy. Her mind rebels at sharing the words she wishes to, and thus, showing him is all she has left. The very crystal passed from one white mage to another containing centuries of knowledge and wisdom within it. Perhaps the last one in existence, as she must be the last of those who once called Madain Sari home.

Despite the courage she found moments before, Lantaa feels herself sinking further into the bed as if to protect herself from a blow. A small frown rests on her face with eyes wide and her whole body shaking. He could certainly take her life in that moment and fulfill his duty as a knight. Every other possibility seems blocked from her thoughts and emotions. Her soul and heart attempt to pierce the wall of numbing fear that seems to have taken her, but, nothing else seems to be able to process. Her ears fold to her head as her tail curls beside them. ]

[ If she wished to learn, he would do his best to show her how, but there still remains a part of him that feels as though he is still learning how to fit into the society in which he lives. Even without the added complication of who he is, he cannot help but look at those lofty lords and ladies and wonder if he will ever be like them, or if he even wants to be like them. Ishgard is still his home, of course, but there are moments in which he feels like an outsider in his own city. But he gets along as well as he can, and so he considers that enough for the moment.

Perhaps if she remains with him, they can learn how to live in such a world together.

He truly does not believe the words to be premature, but he can imagine the voices of the naysayers who would tell him he is acting rashly and without thinking. But what need is there for thinking when a voice seemingly from the past is telling him this is the path he should be on, that these are the steps he should take?

As for what he wishes, he would give her gentle expressions of the love he feels for her and do his best to excite and arouse her with his actions. Perhaps he has decided to alternate both things, and at the moment is choosing to go for the former option, intending to switch to the latter simply to keep things exciting for both of them.

For now, he is content to position himself so that he is still above her, but resting on his side so that his hands remain free to touch her hair as they please. His head tilts to one side as she begins speaking, and he momentarily quiets as if sensing that what she is about to tell him is important but not easy for her to speak of. ]

You are not a real witch? [ He has had his suspicions, naturally, but they were just that: suspicions. ] I sense that what you are about to tell me is difficult for you to relate to anyone, as I imagine you have not done so before, for your own reasons. But if you entrust this to me, I will not betray that trust, I assure you.

[ He feels bonded to her already, and not only because he has tasted her blood. They belong together, and because of that, he knows that he wishes to keep her secrets and his silence, if she asks him to.

But then he catches sight of her hand moving as she turns her palm over as if she intends to show him something. The moment he glimpses it is the same one in which he realizes the meaning of it, and his eyes widen with surprise. He suspected that there was more to her than what she had shared with him, but this confirms his suspicion, even if he could not have expected she was a white mage.

This revelation further confirms for him that both of them are somewhat outsiders, although she certainly faces more threats and danger than he does. He is still somewhat accepted although not necessarily welcome. Now he knows why she was, and still is, so afraid. When she sinks further into the bed, he follows after her, closing what little distance remains between them, and although he could do any number of things in this moment, he chooses to simply press a kiss to the side of her face while his hands move to gently take hold of her again.

He resolves in that moment to ensure that so long as he is nearby, she will have nothing to fear from anyone who might seek to do her harm. ]

[ She is to accompany him to his home, thus, she will need to learn how to meld into his society. While she may not fit perfectly, she still must attempt it. Perhaps Miqo'te are rare in his home, and she may even very will draw more attention because of it. The one thing she does know is that she does not want him to leave her behind again.

Again?

Whichever he chooses to do, Lantaa has decided to follow his lead. A part of her will do anything and everything he asks if it means he will keep her at his side. Of course, he ha already said and promised to do so, but there is a sense of desperation in her. Especially as her nerves and fear grow at how he might react to what she is. ]

N-no. I know... I know some things, b-but my talents aren't in the arcane...

[ His eyes widen and her ears press entirely to her head. Surely he will come to the realization that he cannot let her live. The knights and voidsent came for her and her people. How can he accept her, even as his bonded one, when everything in his culture must wish her dead? Fear grips her and takes over her senses to the point that as he rests beside her, then leans in, her hand shakes uncontrollably.

She nearly flinches as he leans in close, but instead freezes the moment he kisses her. Her gaze snaps to his still red eyes once he wraps his arms around her. A moment passes before her eyes widen in the realization he will still protect her, even after knowing who and what she is. Lantaa moves to speak--to say anything--but all that comes from her is a gentle cry. She turns into him, hiding her face in his bare neck, unable to stop the tears that begin.

Relief is not a word that is strong enough to encapsulate what she feels in this moment. Crying seems to be all that she can do, as if she is releasing years of fears and anxiety to the one soul that would hear and understand. Lantaa curls against his body perfectly, one hand holding her soul crystal, while the other rests on his chest once more. Fingers return to gently brushing along his skin and she nudges her nose against his neck. ]

Aymeric...

[ He is resolved to do all that he can to keep her safe and to assist her in adjusting to this new life, if she still remains agreeable to it. He realizes that it is asking a lot of her, to leave everything that she knows to follow him, but he also does not wish to leave her behind for any reason. ]

Now I see... Lantaa. [ She belongs to a group of people that Ishgard's knights sought to kill. Is that why she has been alone in a cave for so long? Or rather, he assumes that it has been some time. Perhaps she is the only survivor of the attacks on white mages. And if that is the case, then he imagines she of all people has even more reason to despise him. Not only is he a voidsent, but he is also an Ishgardian, and a knight, no less. Surely there is as much of her people's blood on his hands as anyone else's.

Even so, she still does not pull away, still seeming to welcome his touch and his hold. Well, if that is the case, as long as she will have him, he means to offer what love and protection he can. To do otherwise is unimaginable.

One hand moves to meet with hers, the one still holding onto the soul crystal, and with some hesitation, he reaches out to touch it carefully. Of course, he has no right, as the crystal is hers, and he imagines it is quite the precious object that should not be touched by anyone, let alone one such as him. But he finds himself drawn to it just as he is drawn to her. ]

What a pair the two of us make. You, a white mage, and myself, a reluctant voidsent. [ And yet it all feels as though they were meant to find each other somehow. ]

[ All she knows? Lantaa hardly knows much. She knows a cave thay her master had bid her to leave. She knows a home that had been destroyed years ago and left no survivors but her. She knows the loneliness that drives people to do as they have, for it was those same emotions that allowed her to meet the bird she took as a familiar.

A familiar she needs to properly introduce to him.

She curls further into his arms with her eyes never leaving their joined hands. A gentle inhale is taken in when his hand curls around hers and gently reaches out to touch the stone. All he does is brisk his fingertips across the surface. She thought he might be drawn to it to destroy it, as a vampire is a voidsent, yet instead he seems to have his interests piqued by it. She glances up at him through her bangs before cutting her fingers around his and the stone. Perhaps his draw to it is a mixture of his changed nature and because she is the one wielding it. ]

I-if they find me... they will kill me... like the others... [ Lantaa tilts her head to nudge his neck with her nose. ] D-do you still want me to go with you?

[ She pauses to give a gentle laugh. ] What a pair. But, you are mine, my pair.

[ Lantaa feels her eyes drift halfway shut once more. Perhaps the euphoria from his feeding still courses through her, or perhaps she merely feels content and secure for the first time in years. Whatever the reason, Lantaa finds herself pressing her lips to where his jaw and neck meet. Then, she trails kisses down as much of his neck as she can touch. Her lips brush gently along his skin until they find a pair of scars.

Eyebrkws knit together and her head tilts as she pulls back long enough to inspect what they are. Two marks a certain width apart. Her ears twitch as she realizes this is where he had been bit: the mark that changed his life forever. They rest closer to the front, meaning his attacker had come at him directly. Therefore, while a surprise, it means he most likely knows who his assialiant was.

Lips turn into a frown for only a brief momeny as her mind, heart and soul all decide on one course of action. Lantaa gently presses her lips to his scars, glancing up to see his reaction. If he approves, then she continues to gently kiss the area and scars. ]

[ The part of him that is reckless and wants to act quickly seems to be at odds with his more cautious side. That side of him cautions him about asking for too much too soon, but there is no pretending that he does not wish to know all that she is willing to share with him, and that includes meeting her familiar.

But she has shared perhaps the biggest secret of all, her identity as a white mage, and he feels honored that she would divulge that to him. Now that he knows it, he intends to protect the secret and her with his life, if needed. ]

They will not, because I will not allow it. [ If not for the fact that he does not wish to separate himself from her nor break apart their hands that are still joined together, he would stand up to further emphasize his point. ] I wish for you to come with me, and I will do all that I can to prevent anyone from finding you.

[ But then he smiles, and there is a warmth to it, and perhaps even a hint of mirth behind his still reddened eyes. ] I rather like being called your pair.

[ She begins to kiss him, trailing kisses from his jaw down to his neck, and as before, he finds himself going slack with pleasure. And when her kisses lead her to the twin bite marks on his neck, he all but sags against her in response to her touches on that most sensitive area.

His pupils seem to dilate and he involuntarily leans against her while his hold on her briefly tightens, again reacting with unbridled pleasure brought on by her kisses. ]

[ Her weight sinks against him for the briefest of moments once he makes his declaration. Gods, she wishes to believe it with her entire being. The statement is quite grand to promise. So many various things could stop them, or even make it impossible for him to keep his promise. However, for the first time in perhaps a few life times? She decides to hope that he will be able to. That perhaps this time they can keep anything from pulling them apart. ]

I want to. [ Her voice is still hushed, even if she sounds far more confident in it now than she had before. ] I want to go with you.

[ Another nudge is given. ] Then, that is what you'll be. My pair.

[ While there is a tone of ownership? Lantaa finds herself not caring much of all. Miqo'te tribes have nuhns and mates, and she is certain that his darker instincts attached to an idea of claiming and ownership already. Her clan was lost long ago, but, perhaps he would have her join his family. Perhaps not by marriage or anything formal. Surely, as a knight, he would be expected to marry a noble woman...

Even if her heart sinks at the idea of him marrying another.

Yet, is it not rather soon to think of marriage?

A mental note is made of the area he seems to find pleasurable and comfortable with her kissing before making her way back up his neck with kisses. He leans into her and a sound of her own pleasure is made in return. She moves from small gentle kisses to open mouth ones and presses once more to him. Her tail raises and drops to the mattress as she feels her own arousal building by simply being against him and the lingering euphoria from his feeding. They may prove to be a dangerous pair in the terms of unrestricted passions.

If he ever takes the moment to tilt her head up to his, he will see her two-toned eyes seem to have taken and under color of redness to them. He has not turned her by any means. Instead, it is more akin to her own instincts reacting to his. Almost as if hers are reaching out to him to be claimed as his... in whichever way he would make that declaration. ]

A-and I'm your pair.

[ Perhaps his words are too lofty and his promises too grand, but other than what he does with the Temple Knights, he has found that he needs goals to work towards to give his life meaning. Being told where to go and what battles to fight is all well and good, and he is glad to be doing his part to at least try and see this long war to a conclusion, even if he and many others believe they may never see it, but he has always been looking for something worthwhile to spend his time on.

Perhaps this is that very thing. Either way, he is resolved to defend and protect her whatever it takes. ]

Then go with me, you shall. I must admit that I do not wish to see us parted, as I have already grown used to your company, as I am certain you can tell. [ Again he smiles, and there is a light tease contained in it, but more than that, it is truly a genuine, warm smile.

If there are any overtones of ownership, Aymeric also finds he does not mind. He had ceased believing that he would find a partner of any sort, and if ownership comes along with obtaining that which he thought lost for good, then he will take it.

Truthfully, anywhere that she would touch would elicit a reaction, but there are several places upon his person that are more sensitive than others. She has, of course, discovered yet another one of them, and he finds himself asking without words that she continue what she is doing. In so doing, he finally meets her eyes, still lost in what can only be described as ecstasy, but it is with a startled jolt that he realizes her eyes are also red. Perhaps it is not the same shade of red as his own, but were not her eyes colored differently before?

No... A voice in his mind breaks through the heightened sense of euphoria that lingered and was only gradually fading as time passes. But he is too caught up in the swirling feelings brought on by her touches and her kisses to give that voice even a moment's consideration. His more reserved nature, and the nature that despises himself for what he is, will resurface in time, but while it is kept at bay, he intends to not waste a minute of this. ]

You are indeed, and as such, you are owed my protection and more. If you asked it of me, I would make a vow to you to defend you, whatever the cost. [ He may very well make such a vow even if she did not ask. These words ought to feel strange to him, but they do not, as if a voice from a far-off time is speaking using his mouth to communicate with her. Even stranger, he realizes that he does not object. ]

[ While he has found a goal--a purpose--she has not. Is living a life simply to be at the side of the one a person loves truly enough? He is a knight with a people and a home to fight for, even if she had not been added into the equation. All she supposes she has is herself and the familiar she promised to look after. The two had been fine in their cave, but, Lantaa now knows it had not been truly fine. ]

I... I thought it would be best if you left... w-with your friend. Because of me. But, now, I... [ Lantaa shakes her head ever so slightly. She does not wish to be parted from him now. They both know who each other is, and, seemingly are rediscovering how they have always been comfortable with one another. ] I don't believe that would have been the best choice.

[ She has every intention of continuing until she feels him shift against her hand. Lantaa tilts her head back, eyebrows knitted ever so slightly at him. His words are not overshadowed or even dismissed. However, she can sense something recoils. A shift happened along his akasha. Very subtle, and perhaps none else might not notice besides her and her familiar. Yet, she has noticed it. Uncertainty... of her? Despite what he says?

She shifts against him once more, intending to bring herself onto even sitting. Despite their heighten emotions, Lantaa has not forgotten about the wound on his back, and refuses to place him onto it. The opal in her hand disappears once more so she might rest her hands on either side of his face. If he is to make a vow to her, then he deserves one in return. One that she hopes will reach the entirety of him as both the knight and the soul she loves. ]

Aymeric. [ Her hushed tone remains, but seems paired now with a stronger sound of resolute. Accompanying the tone is a look in her slightly red tinted eyes. One that certainly reaches out to not only garner the attention of the knight and the vampire, but his very soul. The name of that soul may be lost to time for now, but she feels confident that she can capture his whole attention. ] My love.

[ Her hands guide him to rest his forehead to hers once more. A sweet smile touches her face. It blossoms into one brimmed with love and desire of all forms. She wishes to please him in any way he seeks it: holding her, intertwining their hands, bringing them together intimately. Whatever he needs to be whole and healed from what this life and all others have done? She will see to it. No amount of fear or stammering will ultimately stop her, even if she stumbles now and again. ]

If you vow to protect me? Then I vow to care for you. All of you; every piece of you. It does not matter if it is the knight, the vampire, or the soul I have loved in all my lives. [ Has she made this vow before? It feels as if she has. ] Your needs, however they may arise, will be met. So, please...

[ She gently nudges his nose as her ears remain firmly to the sides of her head. The red tint may remain in the color of her eyes, but she hopes all sides of him might see her reaching out to him. ]

Please know that anything I do for you is because I wish to. Even... even if it seems it is only because of what abilities this life has laid on you with your nature? I wish to do these things. [ The loving smile remains on her face as she kisses the side of his mouth once more. ] Even if I need your help to be brave enough to do what I wish to. Everything is because I wish to.

[ Lantaa gently brushes her lips over his once more in hopes that he, in his entirety, will follow with what they both wish. Not out of a vow or promise to her, or shrinking away because he feels he has made her. She, as Lantaa and his ancient soulmate, wishes nothing more than to be with him and love him. ]

So, my love. What do you wish for? Tell me, and I'll grant it.

[ He may have a goal and a purpose that drives him, but he wishes for more than that. He has wished for companionship, to have someone at his side, to have a life with them. Until now, it seemed as though such a life was moving further and further out of his reach until it disappeared entirely. But when he was not looking, when he least expected it, Lantaa entered his life. ]

How could that be for the best? I ask not to make you feel shame, but simply because it is clear that we are meant to be together and that nothing should separate us, not even things that would cause us to doubt. [ And to further illustrate that, he leans in so that he might brush his lips against her once more.

He does not pull away, even though there is a swell of emotion inside him, and not a happy sort either. Nothing shows on his face, but internally, there is a fight between two halves of himself: one side wishing only to be calm and peaceful while giving and receiving affection and the other deeply unsettled and repulsed by what he has done, even though it was done at her behest.

For the moment, the side of him that embraces being a vampire remains in control, and when she speaks, calling him her love, he leans even more into her hold and her embrace. ]

I love you, and I would have you be mine for as long as you wish to remain. [ Which, he now knows, will be forever, as she has stated she does not wish to be apart from him in this life and beyond it as well.

She goes on to speak about her own vows, and he finds that she has rendered him speechless. A vow of any sort is binding and meaningful, and while this is hardly what some would consider a binding contract, it may as well be in his mind. Her words echo inside his mind, repeating and swirling around his thoughts as if he wishes to commit all of them to memory.

And for once, even though it has been so long, he realizes that he truly feels loved and wanted and desired, and the thought of it very nearly causes his head to spin. The red in his eyes has begun to fade even though he cannot see it, and in its place is another swell of emotions, different than the first.

Again he leans into her touch, but this time, there is a desperation to it that was not there before. He brushes his own lips against hers too, as if a part of him fears that he may never have the opportunity to do so again. It takes a moment for him to find his voice, but when he does, the note of pleading in it is umistakable. He must apologize, and hope and pray she does not turn away from him now. ]

Do not hate me even though I fed on you. [ She asked him to, and told him that it was all right, but the very thought of it only makes him despise himself more. ] I wish that you might forgive me for... For being who I am. Who I have become.

[ In his mind, it is a lot to ask for, and he has no right to do so, but she asked him to tell her, and now he has. ]

[ Her gaze lowers at his question. ] I-I thought because I act as a witch, and I'm a.... [ white mage. ] I wasn't sure if you would see me, or recognize me. That maybe we wouldn't be allowed together by circumstances and, [ her gaze lowers by a fraction as her lower lip trembles, ] i-if nothing else I could help you now, so you could return to the life a knight lives.

[ Lantaa had built quite the image in her mind over the time he slept. What it was that she would say and do as he left with Estinien. The heartbreak that would follow as the realization settled in that it would be another life without him. In truth, it broke something far more than her heart, but what could she do? They believed her to be a witch, and the knights of his home could have her head for merely that. There was no reason for him to even begin to feel the inclinations she had.

Watching him leave to be with another.

That image had stood out in her mind so very vividly that one might of thought it was real. The thought comes to her that perhaps it was real. Lantaa would have thought it a fantasy if she did not feel how her heart clenched but beat harder at the same time. The details of faces and places are muddled at best, but the emotion remains as strong as any other. A life had been lived where she stood in the distance, watching as he promised himself to another. She had been just a face among many, and surely he never noticed, but the pain remained with her. In some way it must still remain as she frowns ever so slightly and her heart beats another painful beat.

He had walked away with his wife and lived quite the happy life... hadn't he? ]

...I thought we couldn't be together. [ Now, or ever again.

The red from his eyes fades and it reflects in her own. Those emotions and desires still run high, but, she realizes that perhaps she should curve them. For now he seems more in control of himself and she is certain he would not wish to do such acts on a half-decent bed in a cave. Or, perhaps at all. The emotions in his gaze merely makes her smile lovingly, despite the way her heart yearns to be healed, and how her body wishes he might touch her more.

The desperation is clear to her by his gaze even without the ability to sense his akasha. Her gaze drops to his lips for a brief moment before returning to his sky-blue eyes once he begins to speak. Then, her expression softens. Hate him? How could she ever hate him? Even in lives they were unable to be together due to circumstances? She's never hated him. She could never hate him. ]

I don't hate you. [ She says it with reassurance and as if it were a secret between the two of them. Yet, she knows what he truly is looking for is acceptance. For her to love him as the man and being he has become versus what he ought to have been. Perhaps if she accepts him, he in time, will come to accept himself. ] I forgive you, my love. I will help who and what you have become in any way that I can. It is a wish I can certainly grant.

[ Lantaa guides him into a kiss. She begins it by a simple brush of their lips once more, then leans that small bit forward to bring their lips together. The kiss is slow, almost rhythmical, to try and ease him into the security she offers. Like everything else, it feels familiar and yet different at the same time. However he chooses to return her affections, either as vampire or knight, does not matter to her. She will embrace either or both. ]

Edited 2022-11-09 10:29 (UTC)

I am certain that there are those who would just as soon keep us apart, if not bring harm to- well, to you, but I am equally resolved that should that happen, I won't let them succeed. We are meant to be together, of this I have no doubt.

[ He tilts his head to one side as if pondering her words, and he repeats them: ] The life a knight lives... What sort of life is that, other than going where and when one is told? I chose it, of course, and I do not regret it, but I-

[ He had other dreams and aspirations once, and now he is unsure what has become of those. Perhaps a life alongside her is his new dream, but he can barely imagine what that sort of life might look like. If she imagined seeing him promise himself to another, and then marry her, that is a far cry from what he has imagined for himself.

He would have most likely remained a Temple Knight for as long as possible, and when time intervened, then he would retire to the family home and see to maintaining it and perhaps finding another trade or some other way of passing the time. ]

I had thought that you would not wish to be together. [ Now, in this life, given what he is. It still baffles him that she wishes to be with him, that she can even stand to touch him and offer her love to him. It is all more than he deserves. ]

You would be well within your rights to. And if you were to hate me, it would not be anything I am not accustomed to. [ He has had moments in which he felt nothing but hatred for himself, and so feelings of hate are no stranger to him. ]

I am undeserving. [ He knows she will say that it is not about deserving, but he believes without question that he has done nothing to deserve the unconditional love that she offers. Still, when she guides him into the kiss, he does not resist, leaning into it hesitantly at first, and then with more passion and need. ]

[ We are meant to be together.

Lantaa manages the nod in agreement as emotions threaten to build in her throat again. Her beloved, her pair. She cannot help but wonder why so many lives had gone by without them being together with one another. Had circumstances truly interfered so much? If so, then it is no surprise he insists then be togerher in this life. Not that Lantaa disagrees. Perhaps she had just begun to believe, deep down, they could not be together no matter how much they wished for it.

His question causes a blush to come to her face. Her notion of knights may very well be inaccurate. Yet, are they not apart of a greater society and kingdom? Will he not become a Lord? Of course, she has no idea he is already one. ]

Knights become Lords, don't they? [ Her ears tilt down in embarrassment. ] You'd have a family home... and a title... a-and you would need to marry to have heirs... that sort of life.

[ She onxe again gives the faintest shake of her head. No, she does not hate him. He seems to hate himself more than anyone else might. The notioj breaks her heart and causes her very soul to ache. Her love has been so hurt by this life already, and it has barely begun. Her fingees brush along his cheeks once more. ]

I could never hate you. Why would I seek you out in every life if I did? [ Her tone is a gentle sort of sensual, attempting to lure him into her verbal and emotional embrace. ] If you are undeserving than so must I be.

[ She accepts his passion and need. Oh, her poor knight. How long has he been a vampire? Ho many years have passed for him to grow to futher hate himself? Not all wounds can be healrd by even magic, yet, she hopes she can soothe the ones struck to his heart.

Lantaa tilts her head to deepen the kiss, parting her lips to him. Part of her runs on instinct and the vague memories of how they kissed before. The other feels timid, unsure, shy even, despite her movements moments ago. Perhaps now that he knows she accepts him as a vampire, he needs the same acceptance as a knight.

She breaks the kiss for a moment to see how he might wish to proceed. Her gaze remains closed even as she nudges his nose with hers. ]

Would you rather I tend to your back, Aymeric? [ Or does his heart need more attention? She asks so she might know how to best proceed for him. ] Either way, you should rest more, before your friend returns.

[ For him, the fleeting memories of their past lives have to be hunted for and uncovered, but they still very clearly exist. It seems to him that the two of them were always missing each other, or finding each other only to be pulled apart for reasons out of their hands.

Perhaps that is why he feels more than determined to hold onto her in this life, even though his instincts tell him that he should not do so. ]

They do. [ He nods. While he does not discount the significance of the title, he does not use it to pull rank or anything of the sort. ] I have a family home, and a title... As for the rest, well- Being the heir of one such as me does not seem something to be desired.

[ Similarly, he thinks that she does not need to hate him, as he has enough hate for himself as it is. But he would not blame her if she did. Reason tells him that he should not allow himself such pleasantries as kissing her, but he finds that he is choosing to ignore reason so that he might lean into the kiss himself.

When she briefly breaks the kiss so as to inquire about his needs, he merely shakes his head and gives a shrug of his shoulders. ]

Whatever pleases you. [ He knows the answer will not please her, but he finds that it matters very little what she decides to do next. The wound on his back will heal with time, and he would not ask her to trouble herself with it more than she already has. ]

Y-you have a family home and title? [ Her cheeks turn a shade darker. Would he truly wave odd any potential advancements for her? Surely, someone would wish a title, even with his condition. Master Matoya always spoke of how greedy people were deep down. ] Surely you cannot be hated that much...

[ The moment he answers is the moment she nearly regrets asking her question. His assumption of her answer is correct simply by the way her ears lower and a frown touches her face. Guilt stabs at her heart even though she is very aware she made the correct choice to feed him. It quickly becomes clear how much he hates himself and buries his darker instincts. Yet, he also did not fight her to lure those instincts out. Her choice was the necessary one, but she cannot help but feel all it ultimately did was make him sink further into the distain he has towards his person.

Lantaa kisses him gently once more before shifting to sit up. Then, she moves over him to take her place at his back once more. What would please her? She had said that caring for people--truly caring--brought her happiness. Being with him has also brought a sense of fulfillment she did not think possible. Her own instincts and desire to loved would ask that he continue to shower her with touches and kisses. Yet, that moment has certainly passed, and thus she will move to the other motion that brings her happiness.

Perhaps such notions and touches we unbecoming... knights have honor. How could I ask him to forgo that for simply me?

She cannot.

Lantaa gently brushes the hair around his ear once more beforr raising the other hand to hover over his wound. The aches and pains of it are obvious even though the worst of it has healed. No doubt that what blood he did take will help and aid it. ]

Estinien will return soon. You should rest until then. [ Lantaa closes her eyes to listen to his aether. ] I'll clean and redress the wound in the meantime.

[ As well as see to certain measures and spells before she leaves. If he truly still desires her to leave, despite the shift of the mood. ]

A lesser title for a lesser house, but yes, I do. [ He remains determined to uphold his family's honor, even if House Borel is not quite as known or respected as other higher houses. ] Being what I am is- It is complicated. There are those who will have dealings with me, simply because it is necessary, while others make no secret of the fact that they do not take kindly to me and others like me.

[ It simply is the way the world works. There are those who treat most everyone the same, and there are those who look down their noses at others. He has simply accepted it as the way things are.

Of course, he despises himself and those darker instincts that he works so hard to conceal, but burying them does not change who he is. What he has to do to survive is also necessary, even if he despises it, and in turn, it makes him despise himself even more.

But if he hates himself, at least he can offer kindness and perhaps even love to someone, even though he knows he cannot do so to himself. And as before, he finds himself thinking that his injuries hardly require the level of care she offers. He should focus on seeing her needs met, so even as she begins to examine his wound once more, he finds himself shifting just enough that he might push himself up if needed in order to plant a kiss on whatever part of her he can reach.

The wound protests as his movements pull uncomfortably upon it, but he ignores that in favor of attempting to give her what he believes she wants and needs. ]

I am not so fragile as to be unable to move and walk. I welcome your aid, of course, but I believe you have desires of your own that I have not yet met. I would see about changing that now.

[ He considers it payment given freely in exchange for what she has done for him thus far. Any discomfort or pain that he feels is worth it in his mind. ]

[ Lantaa's eyes widen. A lesser House still makes him a lord even if he is a knight. One that has a place in society, even if he does not feel wanted in it. Her fingers brush along his cheek. Perhaps his situation is more complicated than hers... and perhaps she is naive for thinking what it is she will be saying. Her feelings on the matter may not even be something he cares for. ]

I care about you. [ She loves him deeply, yes, but she too cares for him. His state of mind, the state of his person, his heart. All of it matters to her even if it matters not to anyone else. ] It may not be the same as love from your kin, but... I care.

[ Her hand spreads to begin treating his wound once more until he moves. Lantaa's eyes widen and move to find his, mouth opening to ask him not to until she is done. Then, he leans forward and kisses her neck. A small spark runs through her from the tip of her ears to her tail, which straightens. That need for passion and desire for hunger knocks hard against her resolve once more. Her eaes droop again and her eyes haze once more.

Lantaa hears what he says, of course she does, but her words seem seized once more. Yes, she does desire him. Not simply because of a physical reaction, but a feeling deep inside her soul that tries to reach out to his. One that speaks of wishing to feel his love and give her own once more.

I want you... but I don't think you would want this. Maybe not now, or ever at all, or from me...

Would he ever desire her if he hates himself so very much? How could he wish to touch her without the help of instincts if he spent so much time locking himself away? Lantaa does not want him to resent any time with her, especially if he relates it as a part of being who and what he has become.

She opens her mouth to speak, but once more the fear paralyzes her ability to share what she wishes to. Instead, she leans into his touch, a tremor in her hands once more from desire and fear. She would have him touch her, explore her, and learn her. Yet, saying it seems impossible as it had before.

Aymeric, I... ]

Edited 2022-11-20 16:57 (UTC)

[ He has the title that makes him a lord, but a lord of what? He knows he will care for his family home until his own time comes, but what else? Alkaid may very well remain with him, but what sort of life would they have? Surely she would not wish to raise children with him, if that is even possible. But then, he is getting too far ahead of himself. Perhaps there is an expiration date to how long she will remain at his side. If that is the case, then better for him to prepare himself for it now than be caught unawares later on. ]

Why? Why would you, when none except for perhaps Estinien and the staff that still remains with the house have ever come close to such a thing? Of course, I understand that there is a connection between us, but I- I still don't understand.

[ That part of him that has told himself he will always be alone finds it unfathomable that she might care for him, and even love him.

He wishes to love her in return, to treat her with all the love and care that she deserves, but can he even do that, being what he is? He does not know; all he knows is that he wants to try and show her that he loves her and wants to give her what she desires and needs. And so he kisses her neck, ignoring his own condition and the state of the wound on his back. He would kiss her on the mouth, but there is only so much that even he can take. Even as he continues the kiss, doing his best to deepen it, he feels the strain on his injury growing, but he chooses to ignore it for now.

He will have to find out how to reconcile the desires he has for her with the hate that he has for himself, because as she has already wondered, how can he show her love while despising himself? Perhaps it is naive of him to think that he can give her all the love that he has, simply because he has very little or none for himself, but that is the thought his mind has latched onto. Never mind that the question remains if he can allow himself to receive whatever she might offer him, whether love or care or both.

For the moment, however, he contents himself with deepening the kiss on her neck as much as he can, hoping that she can tell just how much he desires her too. ]

[ In her mind? There is no expiration date. She will do whatever she must to remain with him, including finding ways to extend her own life. While it is impossible, she does not wish to be parted from him again. With so much else, it makes little logical sense, but something about losing him and having to once again seek him in the aetheric sea to only find him once more in a new life is so very daunting and painful. A pain that rests deep in her heart that throbs at the very idea of it. She would be with him however he wishes her to be in this life--his wife, his lady, a mother to heirs if he desires it.

What would the point of a pair be if one is missing the other?

His question and statement echo in her mind even as his kisses on her neck deepen. Her eyelids flutter slightly before she seemingly melts on the spot. Lantaa leans down further to ease their postions. The thrill and desire turn inside her, threatening to take over once more. She can feel the small sparks of pleasure ride through her entirr body.

A pleased muffled moan comes from her again. Her beloved wants her, needs her, and desires her. She can feel it in he kisses her so intensly. While the part of her that speaks reason feels as if she is in a whirlwind of back and forth emotions? The rest of her knows she wishes to respond to his in kind.

Yet, she feels one more thing must be said before letting her passions control her entirely. Lantaa pulls away from his kiss, only so she might ease herself to lay over him, one hand directing him look at her. It would be easy for him to reach and pull her back in front of him if he so desires, but her gaze is locked to his for a moment. ]

Why would I? [ An older look takes her gaze then, as if the force that compells all of her feelings for him attempts to reach him. An ancient soul attempting to bridge those countless years.

Her thumb brushes along his lower lip again before gently brushing along his whole mouth. She would even gently touch his fangs if he would not find the notion strange at all. ]

My love... my one and only. These circumstances are only ones brought on by this life. It doesn't matter to me what person this life or any mold you into. I love you as I always have. [ Then, Lantaa brushes her lips slowly over his. A tantilizing, teasing, nudging notion to hopefully capture every part of him she wishes to have. The knight, the vampire, and the ancient soul. ] Connection... no. We are bonded in all lives and every life. Promised to one another.

[ She finds it easier to channel those ancient emotions than to speak her desires in this life. Almost as if the fear and anxiety have no hold over her when it comes to her feelings of the soul, merely the life they live now. Though, perhaps if she can find a way to express it without saying it...

Lantaa brushes her lips against his again. Then, the corner of his mouth, his jaw. The hand at his back moves to sit on his waist. She presses herself against him with the suggestive inclination in mind once more. ]

No matter the life, I promised to be with you. Vampire or not. [ Her instincts knock hard--to the point she almost returns the kiss he gave her to his jaw. Instead, she nudges along his cheek and nose. ] Just you; only you.

Edited 2022-11-21 18:59 (UTC)

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