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synthneon2021-11-19 12:58 am
hobbitholmes) wrote in synthneon2021-11-19 12:58 am
Entry tags:
FF PSL | β for those we can yet save. β
AFTERGLOW
β hear, feel think. β
βοΈ HEAVENSWARD
β
Ever Heavensward (3.0)
β Ishgard Meetings, Part 2
β As Goes Light, So Goes Darkness (3.1)
β Unfleeting Emotions
β The Gears of Change (3.2)
β Heavy Hearts, Part 2
β Revenge of the Horde (3.3)
β Starlight Festival (Alkaid)
β Starlight Festival (KP)
β Ishgard Meetings, Part 2
β As Goes Light, So Goes Darkness (3.1)
β Unfleeting Emotions
β The Gears of Change (3.2)
β Heavy Hearts, Part 2
β Revenge of the Horde (3.3)
β Starlight Festival (Alkaid)
β Starlight Festival (KP)
π₯ STORMBLOOD
β
IC Permission
β IC Permission
β IC Permission
β IC Permission
β IC Permission
β IC Permission
β IC Permission
β IC Permission
β IC Permission
grabby hands
Do you want to know?
[ The teasing tones in her voice fade just a little as she contemplates what must have been a lonely time for Aymeric. And it seems to her that he remains lonely even now, which just furthers her resolve to be his friend. ] That is hard to imagine, because we were never without friends or family around.
[ Sometimes it became a little overwhelming, but such was the life they knew with their clans. ] I suppose, when you think about that, it does make sense why he is like this.
[ It seems to her that Aymeric has put up walls around himself for protection, and although he wishes to let those walls down from time to time, he's not entirely certain how to do that.
That is why she hopes that her sister will be able to plant seeds in those walls and get them to come down a little bit more. ]
I'm almost envious. The Forgotten Knight is as comfortable as you'd expect from an inn, of course. [ Visiting a lord's manor might be interesting at first, but she knows she'd worry about accidentally breaking something or committing some other social error. ]
GIIIIIVES with no spoilers
[ She sinks slightly into the water to hi de her face below the surface for just a brief moment. Perhaps if she makes it look like it is due to the hot water than no questions will be asked if the head maid returns. ]
We talked about home... why we left. Our mothers. He was interested in a sense I don't think he could ever really imagine it. [ Alkaid looks at the ceiling. ] He did say if we needed a place to stay, his home was open to us.
I thought it might be too forward if both Warriors of Light were staying in his home.
aww ty ty
I wonder, will your Lord Commander ask you the question first, or will you?
[ She's certain she'll understand which question she means. She knows what the traditions surrounding such a proposal are, but traditions can be altered.
From over the linkpearl, K'thisru can hear the sound of water splashing as her sister moves, but she thinks nothing of it for now. ]
Oh, you talked about that? I can imagine that he didn't know what to make of it all. [ She can appreciate how such a thing might seem to those outside the clans.
And then she makes a "hmm" sound as she contemplates Aymeric's offer. ]
I don't think he would want two of us underfoot, although I have no doubt that his offer is genuine. I suppose I could come for a visit, but the inn really is more than enough.
[ She won't do anything that would cause a distraction or get in the way of the steps the two of them are taking. ]
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The question?! Why would he--either ask or accept?! [ She is far from mortified, more confused on why her sister would even pose the idea. Surely there are better candidates Aymeric could have for a wife, the lady of his house, than her. She is an adventurer, a Champion of Hydaelyn, and a savior of Ishgard. Why would he wish ever for her to be more than a romantic interest? ]
He seemed... touch. Perhaps even wishful for such a thing. [ Her voice quiets slightly. ] Maybe if you stopped by in the morning with my things he could see what it is like to have the pair of us in close quarters?
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[ She lets her words trail off there for a moment, because really, she did idolize her older sister during her growing up years. And the way her mother kept trying to turn her into said sister only accentuated that. But that didn't stop her from looking up to and loving her sister, even though they were only truly half-sisters. ]
Yes, the question. He would ask or accept because- [ She pauses, wondering if she really should be saying this, but then in her usual fashion, she plows right on ahead. ] He really cares about you.
[ She smiles at the thought of paying Aymeric a visit. He is a good man; that much is obvious. More importantly, he makes her sister happy. ] If you think he won't mind, then I'll do that.
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[ While she has no intention, perhaps her sister does. There were times that she felt homesick. Times where she had wondered what their father would have said about their adventures. Her mother never approved of the idea of her leaving -- even to learn conjuring.
A sigh and she shakes her head regardless if K'thisru can see it. ]
Caring about someone and wishing them to be your partner are different things. He has his position to think of, and the fact while smaller, he is of a noble house... I can't imagine that being tied to one of the Warriors of Light would be a good prospect...
[ Which, in so many ways, is to say that she very much doubts that Aymeric would wish to marry her. Maybe that she is even unworthy of the attention of a noble house. ]
Good. I'll see you in the morning then.
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[ Truthfully, they travel about so often that they haven't really put roots down anywhere, but if she might be sentimental for a moment, she doesn't really need a home with her sister around. Even though they might not always travel together, their paths do tend to wind up coming back together. ]
I'm not certain if I would go back. Would you?
[ Homesickness is one thing. Returning to stay is another. ]
You know he doesn't only care about you. [ It occurs to her then that maybe her sister doesn't know that. ] You do know that, don't you? Haven't you seen how he looks at you?
[ But it seems that their conversation has come to an end, at least until the morning, so she too gives her sister a goodbye and wishes for a good night.
In the meantime, the head maid approaches the room where Alkaid is having her bath and announces herself from outside the door. ]
Mistress Mercedes, are you well?
There is no rush, of course, but she means to see how Lord Borel's guest is faring.
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[ Has she seen the way he looks at her?
Of course she has. Yet, she cannot help but think he might find someone better suited for him. One that can remain in Ishgard with him instead of one who must run to all corners of the star. Her gaze goes up to the ceiling as she falls silent in thought. There could very well be a day in which he must find a wife in order to continue his adopted family line.
Which means it will very much be a day when she must let him go. And that thought alone is more paralyzing then staring down any Garlemald weapon or Ascian plan.
Then, the other voice snaps her to her thoughts. She turns in the tub towards the door with her ears perked on end. ]
Oh, yes. I'm fine... maybe lacking in fresh clothes, but, I can manage.
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Seeing as how there are no other options, he tasks the maid with bringing clothes from his own personal wardrobe to Alkaid for her to use if she wishes. It certainly isn't proper, but he imagines no one outside of the house (except for her sister, of course) will learn of it.
With that particular task done, and his own soak in a warm bath completed, he retreats to his study. The steward placed a steaming cup of tea on one side of the desk, but as Aymeric tries to formulate a plan for his next steps, the tea remains forgotten and gradually becomes increasingly tepid until it is no longer warm.
He doesn't look up from the notes he is writing until he hears a sound at the door and notices that said door is now opening. ]
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She steps up to the desk and offers a bashful smile. Her ears are turned down slightly and her tail curled along her side. ]
Have any ideas come to you yet?
[ The cold tea does not escape her notice, nor does she comment on it just yet. Instead her eyes go from it to him. ]
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Nothing that will prove useful. [ He looks down again at what he has written on the page and shakes his head. The time he spent putting thoughts on paper seems to have been for nothing, because of his own lack of focus. ]
But never mind; is there anything else that you might need? [ He notes the borrowed shirt and robe that she is wearing, and he nods his approval. Clearly his staff have done their best to ensure that Alkaid has what she needs, starting with the bath and ending with the clothes, but if there is anything further they can do, he wants to hear of it. And there is still the matter of ensuring that she is well-fed. ]
Are you warm enough? [ He can't help but think back on how long they stood out in the cold; he might have been there longer than her, but he still worries about her well-being nonetheless. ]
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No, no. I'm fine. I promise.
[ A smile turns on the corners of her mouth for him. She does not lie, nor try to hide anything from him. If anything? She wishes that he might sit on the couch and relax as much as he might be able to. ]
...Are you?
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It all feels lacking for one claiming to be Lord Commander and the one temporarily directing affairs, but at the same time, he supposes he should be glad he even managed to write down anything at all, given his present state. ]
Well, that is good. I would hate for you to leave here thinking that your reception here was lacking in any way.
[ Although he still feels weighted down by all his responsibilities, he still manages a smile in return for her benefit. He may not be inclined to relax on the couch, but he will surely encourage her to do so, as one of them should be able to find comfort tonight. ]
Of course. [ He knows that she'll think he answered too quickly, and she might chastise him for trying to rebuff her, but his answer is a truthful one. ]
The steward does his best to keep a fire in the fireplace going for as long as there is need of it, and I can manage to stoke it if the hour grows late and he has retired.
[ He knows that isn't entirely what she means, but he is warm enough, so it isn't an untrue statement. ]
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She glances to the fire still crackling. Then, she turns on the balls of her foot and walks to the couch. There is a bit of feline grace as she quickly sits down. Once more, her gaze locks to his and a hand raises in silent gesture. She bids him to join her. ]
It would be easier to stoke the fire here than from your desk, Aymeric.
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He is about to ask her for her opinion on one aspect of the rough plans he's written down, but he realizes that she's moving towards the couch and beckoning him to join her. Ordinarily he would jump at the chance to sit beside her, but he finds himself hesitating. There is still so much he could do before he allows sleep to find him, if it will come to him at all, and so he remains where he is for just a moment more. ]
The plans for Ishgard's defense will not decide themselves. I should at least have a better idea of what orders to give the Temple Knights before morning comes.
[ He hesitates, knowing that this is not what he necessarily wants, but it is what needs to be done. ]
I would ask your indulgence on this, but also, you do not need to remain with me while I work. By now, I am certain that a bed has been prepared for you and that you will find it quite comfortable.
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[ Her hand remains extended out towards him. She has once been bared from helping him and she will not let it happen again. Even if all she might do is simply her sitting down and helping him clear his thoughts. ]
My sister, myself, and the Scions helped in attempting to stop this war. The outcome of the conference is a responsibility of ours as well. So, I will do my part in helping sort your plans. [ She pauses for only a brief moment with hesitation. ] Both as a Scion and as me.
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Once he has crossed over to where she is sitting, he joins her in sitting beside her. ]
I am sure that you would rather discuss something else other than the war and the tactics that we must engage in.
[ He truly does not mean to bar her from helping, and he fervently hopes she does not take his words that way. It is only that he imagines she would rather spend her time with him relaxing and speaking of more pleasant topics.
After a brief pause while he lets her words sink in, he looks up to meet her gaze. ] Lest you think me wholly ungracious, I am grateful and thankful for the help you, your sister, and the Scions have given us.
[ That does not change the fact that he still feels that he will be unable to rest even with her help, but he chooses to leave that unsaid. ]
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Once he is settled beside her, she leans her head against his arm for a moment. Just long enough to try and comfort him. ]
I would indeed. However, the reality of our situation pushes something else forward. Once we have exhausted possibilities we can speak on something else.
[ She folds the papers together to make a proper writing stack. Then, she reaches over and takes the quill from the inkwell. ]
Ishgard must be made a stronghold to the best of our abilities. An evacuation route should be in place, should the worst come to pass. Dragons could be used as scouts... if they would agree to such an idea. [ She begins to scribble ideas down. ] I could ask Y'shtola and Master Matoya if there is a way to break an enchantment and separate Nidhogg from Estinien. It would be the quickest and most efficient way to end the conflict...
[ A frown tugs on her face. What magick could stop something as ancient and old as a dragon's bloodlust? Should she and her sister consult with Midgardsommer? Would he be willing to aid in the unmaking of what remains of his son?
His next statement makes her mint green eyes turn upwards to him. She turns slightly, leaning into his side now. ]
You are one of the few souls on this star that is more than thankful for aid and counsel, Aymeric. Why would I believe otherwise? [ A hand raises to brush the edge of her fingers down the side if his face. ] Even if we had prepared for a potentially of Nidhogg arriving? There is no guarantee we could have stopped him. He would have attacked and killed more. At least there was only one victim.
[ Physically, anyways. It is quite obvious that Nidhogg has successfully rattled and pulled the Lord Commander into a place of fretting and anguish. She will not let the shade of the dragon win in any regard. She places the pen back in the inkwell and the paper on the table. Then, she turns and swings one leg over his and sits in his lap. She would move the moment he made it clear that he does not desire her closeness.
She raises her hands to cradle his face in them. ]
I am a healer, my dear Aymeric. None others are here. Not all wounds are physical, and not all pains are of the body. Give me all your burdens and pain so you might not bear them alone. It matters not if I am a Warrior of Light or a Savior of Ishgard. I am someone who cares deeply for you. If you cannot share it all, then at least share a fraction of it with me.
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As for his love for her, it is quite easily the strongest feeling he can ever recall having, although his present storm of anguished feelings is quite strong indeed. If he could just put that aside, he might be able to properly express the depth of love he has for her. That he cannot find the words or actions to properly convey it is yet another thing that weighs him down, and he fears that she might think her love unreturned if he lets this go on too much longer.
He still draws comfort from her presence, but his doubts and fears are threatening to drown that out. ]
Then I suppose I shall have to pull my wits together and quickly but decisively put a plan in place.
[ In times of war, there is no room for weakness and hesitation, and that is why Aymeric feels he must push away the uncertainty that Nidhogg's actions have stirred up in him. He must be the Lord Commander and Ishgard's acting leader, or else this bloody war may never reach an end.
And so, with no small amount of effort, he wills himself to focus on Alkaid's suggestions and offer his own contributions to the subject. ]
Of course. If I am not mistaken, such a route already exists, but thank Halone that we have not had to make use of it thus far. In times gone by, it has been used, of course, but not yet during this current conflict. I fear that may not remain the case for long, given Nidhogg's threats.
[ He has a map of Ishgard and the surrounding areas on his desk, and he briefly crosses back over to retrieve it. Once he returns to Alkaid's side, he unfolds the map and points to the route he just mentioned. ]
I suppose that further communication with the dragons is needed, if they will agree to meet with us. [ His expression turns pensive as he considers this. ] I should make this request in person, considering the great inconvenience it presents to them. And they may no longer wish to have dealings with us, which I cannot blame them for.
As for any enchantments, I will have to leave that particular aspect to you, or perhaps to Mistress Y'shtola. [ He casts his gaze down then, some measure of guilt sweeping over him once more. ] I regret having to ask anything of you at all, when you already carry more responsibilities than anyone should.
[ He does make a mental note to devote time to studying magicks and enchantments; it is one area he lacks significant knowledge in, and he supposes it is high time that he rectify that.
When she leans against him, he automatically moves one arm to place it around her, hoping to both give and draw comfort from her closeness. ]
That you have not begun to think of us as poor hosts because of all the requests and aid we have asked for is nothing short of a miracle in my mind. [ He cannot help but feel that giving them sanctuary is a poor sort of repayment when considering how much he and his people have asked of her, her sister, and the Scions.
He would say more, to address her words concerning Nidhogg, but she has just placed herself in his lap, and in doing so, all concentration temporarily flees from him. It isn't difficult, considering his state of mind, but her presence and closeness has always had that effect on him.
When she places her hands on his face, for just a moment, his shoulders drop and with them goes the mask that he has been working so hard to keep in place. If not for the fact that she is holding onto him, he would have dropped his gaze and his posture as well, the weight that he's been carrying finally forcing him to bend. ]
I- [ His voice falters and he has to try again. ] I would not withhold anything from you, but I have to say that I would not know where to begin.
[ And for someone who is rarely at a loss for words, that feels so very foreign to him.
Finally, after a moment, he adds: ]
I know that you said I will not let Ishgard down by letting the mantle slip, and yet I cannot help but feel that that is what I have done.
[ She asked him to share his burdens, and that is one of them. ]
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A nod is given as she makes amends to her ideas and adds notes to the side of his. A proper draft will be constructed once their ideas have been put to paper. The hope is that it will help him sort out the best course of action if he can see the ideas, rather than have them churn amongst the other negative ones swirling in his mind. ]
I would send who you might of the Temple Knights to make sure that passage way is secure enough. Just in case. [ Her head tilts up to look at him. ] Y'shtola would be the far better aid in this regard. I know of healing and protection wards... not much else. The greater study of the arcane falls to her and my sister.
[ Even so, K'thirsu is hardly an Archon. Neither of them studied in the schools of Old Sharlayan. Any queries of such would far be better suited for those of the Scions who are. If anything? She and her sister are used for their sense of the Echo and the Blessing of Light. Understand the situation and then stop it with any force necessary.
A weapon, almost. ]
You have been more than generous and good hosts.
[ Her head shakes at the notion they have not been.
She brushes her thumbs along his cheekbones in an effort to comfort as his mask crumbles. She sees a man who desperately tries to keep his homeland and kin safe at the cost of himself. One who is in need of reprieve if only for a few hours. There is no sense that she might be disappointed in him or appalled that she sees the man underneath his mantle. ]
I can assure you that you have not. There are those that oppose the direction you lead the people in, yes. Yet, look at how many children can now walk the streets of Ishgard with little fear they might not come home. Even now their courage is stronger and hope is in their eyes. They are ready for the final verse of Nidhogg's song... and you must be as well.
[ Alkaid leans forward just a touch to press her lips to his forehead ever so gently. ]
It is not you or dragonkind that do not wish for peace, my dearest. It is Nidhogg and Nidhogg alone. Do not let that cloud your vision. [ A smile is given to him as she presses her forehead to his. ] What else troubles you?
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Of course. Our numbers may have dwindled somewhat of late, but there are still enough knights who remain that can be dispatched anywhere, depending on the need. [ He ponders Alkaid's words concerning Y'shtola. ] Well, if she is willing, I would gladly have her assistance. And of course, to have your sister's aid alongside yours is always a benefit, as well.
[ He lets out a lengthy sigh, his worries that they have not treated the two sisters or the Scions well still gnawing at him. ]
Nevertheless, if any one of you finds myself or my people lacking, I would hear of it so that I might rectify the error.
[ His eyes slide closed as she brushes her thumbs against his face. Something inside him best classified as terrifying heartache begins to break through the walls that he has so carefully built. And even as he wrestles with the churning emotions deep inside him, he fears her reactions and the words she might say.
Protecting his home and his people is more important to him than anything, and he fears more than anything else seeing Ishgard lost, and her people with it. All it would take is one misdirection, and that fear could become reality.
He feels his hands begin to shake, and out of embarrassment, he clenches them into fists, willing the movement to stop. ]
I am ready. [ He has to steel himself and his resolve, and a note of steeliness sounds in his voice even as his fears continue to rail at him. ] I must be, and I will not give Nidhogg an even greater opening than the one he already has.
[ He can see the faces of Ishgard's children and their families in his mind's eye, and he knows that it is for them and everyone else who calls Ishgard home that he fights. ]
I can safely tell you one thing: I may have doubts and uncertainties, but I have not lost sight of that vision. [ Although it has been a struggle to keep his focus where it needs to be, as he is certain she knows. ] Peace will come to Ishgard, if it is the last thing that I do.
What else troubles me?
[ Now his head dips a little, because to put into words what he has kept inside is difficult for him.
As before, he pauses, but when he speaks, his tone of voice has deepened, betraying the emotions associated with his fears. ]
I can hardly begin to speak of it. [ Simply because he hasn't dared even hint at any of this with anyone, not even Lucia, who he trusts without question. ]
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[ Her eyes glance down to his hands and a gentle look passes over her face. Her fingers slide down his face, then arms, and come to rest on his trembling digits. She guides them to rest on her hips if only so he has something to cling onto in this moment.
Then, ever so gently, she wraps her arms around him and guides his head to rest against her shoulder. Should he need to hide his anguish, fear, trepidation, or weariness, she intends to make it so he feels safe in doing so. Even if it is not for her eyes to see. ]
Nor would I ever expect you to lose it. However, it does help to hear a gentle reminder. If only so that you are reminded that there are those beside you now.
[ Her fingers brush through his hair in a further attempt to soothe him. ]
If speaking it is too difficult, then, let it out another way. Where none might see -- even me. I will tell no one of it either. Let it out so that you might find your mind clear of your path forward.
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Of course, he leaves this unsaid because he feels that Alkaid has witnessed enough unbecoming behavior and words from him this night. And there may very well be more before the night ends, whether he wills it or not. ]
Of course. I will have orders given in the morning. But I do believe that even the Temple Knights would take suggestion from you, if you were to give it. [ There is a difference between suggestion and orders, and the reputation of the Warriors of Light is well known amongst Ishgard's knights.
His surging emotions are manifesting in his shaking hands, and so he is grateful for Alkaid giving him something to hold onto, something that might ground him.
Even as she guides him to rest his head against her shoulder, an apology is forming on his lips. ] Once again, I am sorry. There may be no one but you here to witness it, but this is hardly becoming behavior for the Lord Commander. [ Even though he knows he does not have to be that man when he is with her.
He is all too aware of how disgraceful this might appear to the wrong eyes, and yet now that he is resting in her arms, he finds he can no longer maintain his rigid posture. Those prying eyes are not in this room, and he is certain that Alkaid will not carry tales of his behavior or of what he tells her in confidence. ]
I- [ Speaking is difficult, but he still wishes to give it an attempt before he abandons the effort entirely. ] I am certain that it will seem strange, even foolish, but I cannot help but wonder what my father and mother would think.
[ Of me is the part he leaves unspoken. Intertwined in that wondering is what they would think of his decisions and his leadership, if they would approve or not. ]
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[ Her head shakes at his apology. There is no need for it. She loves him, even if she feels she cannot say it. He is still a man even if he is the Lord Commander. Men need reprieve, to rest, to breathe. Aymeric may insist all he wishes... but what he struggles with is much for anyone in the star. ]
Far from it. I wonder from time to time if my mother would be proud to say her daughter is none other but one of Warriors of Light. [ She believes she also knows the answer to such a thing, but, will certainly not say that to him now. Not when he struggles so. ] The beliefs they raised you with are the foundation for your path forward and the choices you make. I am certain they would be proud that you rose to the occasion when none else would. You have done more for Ishgard even if they cannot see it yet.
They will see it though. Just give them time, Aymeric.
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They almost boiled over following the death of his father; not the one who raised him, although that was a particularly trying time in itself, but the one who never accepted him, either publicly or privately. Of course, they were never close, but the remnants of that young man who desperately (perhaps foolishly) wanted to form some kind of connection with him felt a keen sense of loss and regret for something that never had a chance and could never be. ]
Of course I shall make certain of it, whether I sleep tonight or not. [ He knows how to play his part and to do it to the best of his ability. A setback like this, or whatever it might be called, will not stop him from doing his duty. ]
Although... [ He manages a small smile, because in spite of everything, he finds himself amused by the notion of her putting him to bed. ] If you were to do that, I would not complain. [ Is he serious or jesting? Perhaps even he doesn't know.
And if it were not too forward and bound to lead to trouble, he would ask that she join him. He has no desire to cause a scandal involving either of them, so naturally, he refrains from saying that.
His smile is quick to fade, however, as he ponders what his fellow Ishgardians must be thinking. He will give them all the time that they need, but what he truly fears is his own fallibility and how simple a thing it would be for him to take a misstep as did Thordan and bring Ishgard down with him. ]
I fear that should I make a wrong decision, I will betray the ones who raised me and all of Ishgard as well.
[ He remains positioned where he is, with his head resting against her, and although his expression remains fairly placid and his hands now stilled from their earlier involuntary movements, his grip on her tightens as his doubt rises.
After a moment, however, he finds his voice once more, and he tries to interject as much certainty into it as he can. ]
The plans that we have made, rough as they are, nevertheless are a sound foundation to build upon. [ They require some fine-tuning and further development, but he believes they can be turned into the solid plans that he needs them to be. ]
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we can call this one wrapped after this if you like!