FF PSL | ❝ for those we can yet save. ❞

[hobbitholmes]

AFTERGLOW

— hear, feel think. —

❄️ HEAVENSWARD

★ Ever Heavensward (3.0)
    — Ishgard Meetings, Part 2

★ As Goes Light, So Goes Darkness (3.1)
    — Unfleeting Emotions

★ The Gears of Change (3.2)
    — Heavy Hearts, Part 2

★ Revenge of the Horde (3.3)
    — Starlight Festival (Alkaid)
    — Starlight Festival (KP)

🔥 STORMBLOOD

★ IC Permission
★ IC Permission
★ IC Permission
★ IC Permission
★ IC Permission

BEYOND

CODE BY TESSISAMESS

Comments

[shepherdtostars]

No, they will not. [ She is in utter agreement with him on such a thing. ] However, the scattered thoughts will not do Isghard any good either. Bring the ink and quill over. I will write down what you have in mind as you rest.

[ Her hand remains extended out towards him. She has once been bared from helping him and she will not let it happen again. Even if all she might do is simply her sitting down and helping him clear his thoughts. ]

My sister, myself, and the Scions helped in attempting to stop this war. The outcome of the conference is a responsibility of ours as well. So, I will do my part in helping sort your plans. [ She pauses for only a brief moment with hesitation. ] Both as a Scion and as me.

[thewayforpeace]

[ He sighs heavily, because his personal wishes and what he feels is his duty seem to be warring with each other at this precise moment. This time, however, he decides to listen to his own desires, even though he is reluctant to place more burdens on top of her. He rises from his position at his desk, bringing with him the pot of ink, his quill, and additional papers should they require more.

Once he has crossed over to where she is sitting, he joins her in sitting beside her. ]

I am sure that you would rather discuss something else other than the war and the tactics that we must engage in.

[ He truly does not mean to bar her from helping, and he fervently hopes she does not take his words that way. It is only that he imagines she would rather spend her time with him relaxing and speaking of more pleasant topics.

After a brief pause while he lets her words sink in, he looks up to meet her gaze. ] Lest you think me wholly ungracious, I am grateful and thankful for the help you, your sister, and the Scions have given us.

[ That does not change the fact that he still feels that he will be unable to rest even with her help, but he chooses to leave that unsaid. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ She watches him carefully, frowning at the ongoing battle inside him. Her hand remains stretched out. She will never turn away from helping him. She loves him -- to the point her heart and soul ache when they cannot be near one another. A time or way may never prevent itself, but she hopes he might see it in her or eyes or her deeds.

Once he is settled beside her, she leans her head against his arm for a moment. Just long enough to try and comfort him. ]

I would indeed. However, the reality of our situation pushes something else forward. Once we have exhausted possibilities we can speak on something else.

[ She folds the papers together to make a proper writing stack. Then, she reaches over and takes the quill from the inkwell. ]

Ishgard must be made a stronghold to the best of our abilities. An evacuation route should be in place, should the worst come to pass. Dragons could be used as scouts... if they would agree to such an idea. [ She begins to scribble ideas down. ] I could ask Y'shtola and Master Matoya if there is a way to break an enchantment and separate Nidhogg from Estinien. It would be the quickest and most efficient way to end the conflict...

[ A frown tugs on her face. What magick could stop something as ancient and old as a dragon's bloodlust? Should she and her sister consult with Midgardsommer? Would he be willing to aid in the unmaking of what remains of his son?

His next statement makes her mint green eyes turn upwards to him. She turns slightly, leaning into his side now. ]

You are one of the few souls on this star that is more than thankful for aid and counsel, Aymeric. Why would I believe otherwise? [ A hand raises to brush the edge of her fingers down the side if his face. ] Even if we had prepared for a potentially of Nidhogg arriving? There is no guarantee we could have stopped him. He would have attacked and killed more. At least there was only one victim.

[ Physically, anyways. It is quite obvious that Nidhogg has successfully rattled and pulled the Lord Commander into a place of fretting and anguish. She will not let the shade of the dragon win in any regard. She places the pen back in the inkwell and the paper on the table. Then, she turns and swings one leg over his and sits in his lap. She would move the moment he made it clear that he does not desire her closeness.

She raises her hands to cradle his face in them. ]

I am a healer, my dear Aymeric. None others are here. Not all wounds are physical, and not all pains are of the body. Give me all your burdens and pain so you might not bear them alone. It matters not if I am a Warrior of Light or a Savior of Ishgard. I am someone who cares deeply for you. If you cannot share it all, then at least share a fraction of it with me.

[thewayforpeace]

[ As always, the push and pull between duty and heart churns inside Aymeric, but the moment that she rests her head against him, he does his best to push that internal battle away and allow the comfort he's been secretly longing for to wash over him, even for just a moment.

As for his love for her, it is quite easily the strongest feeling he can ever recall having, although his present storm of anguished feelings is quite strong indeed. If he could just put that aside, he might be able to properly express the depth of love he has for her. That he cannot find the words or actions to properly convey it is yet another thing that weighs him down, and he fears that she might think her love unreturned if he lets this go on too much longer.

He still draws comfort from her presence, but his doubts and fears are threatening to drown that out. ]

Then I suppose I shall have to pull my wits together and quickly but decisively put a plan in place.

[ In times of war, there is no room for weakness and hesitation, and that is why Aymeric feels he must push away the uncertainty that Nidhogg's actions have stirred up in him. He must be the Lord Commander and Ishgard's acting leader, or else this bloody war may never reach an end.

And so, with no small amount of effort, he wills himself to focus on Alkaid's suggestions and offer his own contributions to the subject. ]

Of course. If I am not mistaken, such a route already exists, but thank Halone that we have not had to make use of it thus far. In times gone by, it has been used, of course, but not yet during this current conflict. I fear that may not remain the case for long, given Nidhogg's threats.

[ He has a map of Ishgard and the surrounding areas on his desk, and he briefly crosses back over to retrieve it. Once he returns to Alkaid's side, he unfolds the map and points to the route he just mentioned. ]

I suppose that further communication with the dragons is needed, if they will agree to meet with us. [ His expression turns pensive as he considers this. ] I should make this request in person, considering the great inconvenience it presents to them. And they may no longer wish to have dealings with us, which I cannot blame them for.

As for any enchantments, I will have to leave that particular aspect to you, or perhaps to Mistress Y'shtola. [ He casts his gaze down then, some measure of guilt sweeping over him once more. ] I regret having to ask anything of you at all, when you already carry more responsibilities than anyone should.

[ He does make a mental note to devote time to studying magicks and enchantments; it is one area he lacks significant knowledge in, and he supposes it is high time that he rectify that.

When she leans against him, he automatically moves one arm to place it around her, hoping to both give and draw comfort from her closeness. ]

That you have not begun to think of us as poor hosts because of all the requests and aid we have asked for is nothing short of a miracle in my mind. [ He cannot help but feel that giving them sanctuary is a poor sort of repayment when considering how much he and his people have asked of her, her sister, and the Scions.

He would say more, to address her words concerning Nidhogg, but she has just placed herself in his lap, and in doing so, all concentration temporarily flees from him. It isn't difficult, considering his state of mind, but her presence and closeness has always had that effect on him.

When she places her hands on his face, for just a moment, his shoulders drop and with them goes the mask that he has been working so hard to keep in place. If not for the fact that she is holding onto him, he would have dropped his gaze and his posture as well, the weight that he's been carrying finally forcing him to bend. ]

I- [ His voice falters and he has to try again. ] I would not withhold anything from you, but I have to say that I would not know where to begin.

[ And for someone who is rarely at a loss for words, that feels so very foreign to him.

Finally, after a moment, he adds: ]

I know that you said I will not let Ishgard down by letting the mantle slip, and yet I cannot help but feel that that is what I have done.

[ She asked him to share his burdens, and that is one of them. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ She would not expect him to return the love she feels for him at the level she does. Alkaid has often realized that her emotions for things seem to run deeper than most others have -- well, her and her sister. Their desire to care for those they do not know; to aid them with an dutiful amount of respect and love baffles all around them. Why would this instance be any different? She would not expect him to put any love for her above that of his countrymen and city.

A nod is given as she makes amends to her ideas and adds notes to the side of his. A proper draft will be constructed once their ideas have been put to paper. The hope is that it will help him sort out the best course of action if he can see the ideas, rather than have them churn amongst the other negative ones swirling in his mind. ]

I would send who you might of the Temple Knights to make sure that passage way is secure enough. Just in case. [ Her head tilts up to look at him. ] Y'shtola would be the far better aid in this regard. I know of healing and protection wards... not much else. The greater study of the arcane falls to her and my sister.

[ Even so, K'thirsu is hardly an Archon. Neither of them studied in the schools of Old Sharlayan. Any queries of such would far be better suited for those of the Scions who are. If anything? She and her sister are used for their sense of the Echo and the Blessing of Light. Understand the situation and then stop it with any force necessary.

A weapon, almost. ]

You have been more than generous and good hosts.

[ Her head shakes at the notion they have not been.

She brushes her thumbs along his cheekbones in an effort to comfort as his mask crumbles. She sees a man who desperately tries to keep his homeland and kin safe at the cost of himself. One who is in need of reprieve if only for a few hours. There is no sense that she might be disappointed in him or appalled that she sees the man underneath his mantle. ]

I can assure you that you have not. There are those that oppose the direction you lead the people in, yes. Yet, look at how many children can now walk the streets of Ishgard with little fear they might not come home. Even now their courage is stronger and hope is in their eyes. They are ready for the final verse of Nidhogg's song... and you must be as well.

[ Alkaid leans forward just a touch to press her lips to his forehead ever so gently. ]

It is not you or dragonkind that do not wish for peace, my dearest. It is Nidhogg and Nidhogg alone. Do not let that cloud your vision. [ A smile is given to him as she presses her forehead to his. ] What else troubles you?

[thewayforpeace]

[ She might not expect it, but he desperately yearns to tell her how he truly feels about her: she is not merely his friend but someone he has grown to love and care for immensely, perhaps even more than he cares about himself. And yet, at the moment, his people need a leader and that lot has fallen to him, so for the time being, he must remain at the helm. He sincerely hopes that a time comes when he can lay all of his true thoughts and feelings bare, but that might be a long time coming. ]

Of course. Our numbers may have dwindled somewhat of late, but there are still enough knights who remain that can be dispatched anywhere, depending on the need. [ He ponders Alkaid's words concerning Y'shtola. ] Well, if she is willing, I would gladly have her assistance. And of course, to have your sister's aid alongside yours is always a benefit, as well.

[ He lets out a lengthy sigh, his worries that they have not treated the two sisters or the Scions well still gnawing at him. ]

Nevertheless, if any one of you finds myself or my people lacking, I would hear of it so that I might rectify the error.

[ His eyes slide closed as she brushes her thumbs against his face. Something inside him best classified as terrifying heartache begins to break through the walls that he has so carefully built. And even as he wrestles with the churning emotions deep inside him, he fears her reactions and the words she might say.

Protecting his home and his people is more important to him than anything, and he fears more than anything else seeing Ishgard lost, and her people with it. All it would take is one misdirection, and that fear could become reality.

He feels his hands begin to shake, and out of embarrassment, he clenches them into fists, willing the movement to stop. ]

I am ready. [ He has to steel himself and his resolve, and a note of steeliness sounds in his voice even as his fears continue to rail at him. ] I must be, and I will not give Nidhogg an even greater opening than the one he already has.

[ He can see the faces of Ishgard's children and their families in his mind's eye, and he knows that it is for them and everyone else who calls Ishgard home that he fights. ]

I can safely tell you one thing: I may have doubts and uncertainties, but I have not lost sight of that vision. [ Although it has been a struggle to keep his focus where it needs to be, as he is certain she knows. ] Peace will come to Ishgard, if it is the last thing that I do.

What else troubles me?

[ Now his head dips a little, because to put into words what he has kept inside is difficult for him.

As before, he pauses, but when he speaks, his tone of voice has deepened, betraying the emotions associated with his fears. ]

I can hardly begin to speak of it. [ Simply because he hasn't dared even hint at any of this with anyone, not even Lucia, who he trusts without question. ]

[shepherdtostars]

I will leave the decision at your discretion. You are the Lord Commander, and they should not take orders from a Warrior of Light. [ She gives a bit of a smile. ] No matter how much of a plausible idea it may be. And, I will be certain to tell you if a person walking by calls me a naughty word.

[ Her eyes glance down to his hands and a gentle look passes over her face. Her fingers slide down his face, then arms, and come to rest on his trembling digits. She guides them to rest on her hips if only so he has something to cling onto in this moment.

Then, ever so gently, she wraps her arms around him and guides his head to rest against her shoulder. Should he need to hide his anguish, fear, trepidation, or weariness, she intends to make it so he feels safe in doing so. Even if it is not for her eyes to see. ]

Nor would I ever expect you to lose it. However, it does help to hear a gentle reminder. If only so that you are reminded that there are those beside you now.

[ Her fingers brush through his hair in a further attempt to soothe him. ]

If speaking it is too difficult, then, let it out another way. Where none might see -- even me. I will tell no one of it either. Let it out so that you might find your mind clear of your path forward.

[thewayforpeace]

[ Finally, practically unbidden, he realizes he has a description for the root cause of all that is troubling him. Alkaid herself said a version of it not long ago, but the truth of the matter is that his heart bleeds for Ishgard and the people who dwell there. When the city is under attack, it might as well be Aymeric himself who is being harmed. That is why he must have solid plans for Ishgard's defenses and a way to bring this war to an end.

Of course, he leaves this unsaid because he feels that Alkaid has witnessed enough unbecoming behavior and words from him this night. And there may very well be more before the night ends, whether he wills it or not. ]

Of course. I will have orders given in the morning. But I do believe that even the Temple Knights would take suggestion from you, if you were to give it. [ There is a difference between suggestion and orders, and the reputation of the Warriors of Light is well known amongst Ishgard's knights.

His surging emotions are manifesting in his shaking hands, and so he is grateful for Alkaid giving him something to hold onto, something that might ground him.

Even as she guides him to rest his head against her shoulder, an apology is forming on his lips. ] Once again, I am sorry. There may be no one but you here to witness it, but this is hardly becoming behavior for the Lord Commander. [ Even though he knows he does not have to be that man when he is with her.

He is all too aware of how disgraceful this might appear to the wrong eyes, and yet now that he is resting in her arms, he finds he can no longer maintain his rigid posture. Those prying eyes are not in this room, and he is certain that Alkaid will not carry tales of his behavior or of what he tells her in confidence. ]

I- [ Speaking is difficult, but he still wishes to give it an attempt before he abandons the effort entirely. ] I am certain that it will seem strange, even foolish, but I cannot help but wonder what my father and mother would think.

[ Of me is the part he leaves unspoken. Intertwined in that wondering is what they would think of his decisions and his leadership, if they would approve or not. ]

[shepherdtostars]

Then you should make certain you are in the best frame of mind to give such orders. Even if that means only an hour or so of sleep. [ There is a tone of playful scolding in her voice, but in earnest, she does truly wish for him to find some form of reprieve. He will need it in the coming hours and days more than he most certainly wishes to admit. ] If need be, I will put you to bed myself.

[ Her head shakes at his apology. There is no need for it. She loves him, even if she feels she cannot say it. He is still a man even if he is the Lord Commander. Men need reprieve, to rest, to breathe. Aymeric may insist all he wishes... but what he struggles with is much for anyone in the star. ]

Far from it. I wonder from time to time if my mother would be proud to say her daughter is none other but one of Warriors of Light. [ She believes she also knows the answer to such a thing, but, will certainly not say that to him now. Not when he struggles so. ] The beliefs they raised you with are the foundation for your path forward and the choices you make. I am certain they would be proud that you rose to the occasion when none else would. You have done more for Ishgard even if they cannot see it yet.

They will see it though. Just give them time, Aymeric.

[thewayforpeace]

[ Seldom does he let emotions other than staunch resolve and determination and a sort of patriotic pride show. On occasion, he has even managed to be absolutely joyful, just as he was when the conference was set to begin. That, of course, was short-lived. What he refuses to let anyone see are emotions that he believes belong to a much younger Aymeric, one who was far less in control of himself than he is now.

They almost boiled over following the death of his father; not the one who raised him, although that was a particularly trying time in itself, but the one who never accepted him, either publicly or privately. Of course, they were never close, but the remnants of that young man who desperately (perhaps foolishly) wanted to form some kind of connection with him felt a keen sense of loss and regret for something that never had a chance and could never be. ]

Of course I shall make certain of it, whether I sleep tonight or not. [ He knows how to play his part and to do it to the best of his ability. A setback like this, or whatever it might be called, will not stop him from doing his duty. ]

Although... [ He manages a small smile, because in spite of everything, he finds himself amused by the notion of her putting him to bed. ] If you were to do that, I would not complain. [ Is he serious or jesting? Perhaps even he doesn't know.

And if it were not too forward and bound to lead to trouble, he would ask that she join him. He has no desire to cause a scandal involving either of them, so naturally, he refrains from saying that.

His smile is quick to fade, however, as he ponders what his fellow Ishgardians must be thinking. He will give them all the time that they need, but what he truly fears is his own fallibility and how simple a thing it would be for him to take a misstep as did Thordan and bring Ishgard down with him. ]

I fear that should I make a wrong decision, I will betray the ones who raised me and all of Ishgard as well.

[ He remains positioned where he is, with his head resting against her, and although his expression remains fairly placid and his hands now stilled from their earlier involuntary movements, his grip on her tightens as his doubt rises.

After a moment, however, he finds his voice once more, and he tries to interject as much certainty into it as he can. ]

The plans that we have made, rough as they are, nevertheless are a sound foundation to build upon. [ They require some fine-tuning and further development, but he believes they can be turned into the solid plans that he needs them to be. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Her fingers continue to run through his hair, smirking gently at the playful remark. She would rather hope he is serious about the notion. However, as she mentioned to her sister, she has no real sense of what his stance is on things outside of wedlock. Not that she has even begun to really entertain the idea of marriage. How could he wish such a thing when, most certainly, her position of a Savior of Ishgard could do damage to his image? He would need to keep his prospects open for a more respectable Ishgardian woman to wed... start a family with...

The idea causes her heart to beat painfully. Alkaid is no stranger to sacrifice and knows that sometimes what one wants must be given up for greater things to happen. As much as she would wish to have a life in Ishgard with him? It may not truly be realistic. ]

I believe the only way you might betray the mother and father that raised you would be to turn back on the principles and lessons they taught you. I very much doubt you would do such a thing. Your birth father may have been the Archbishop, but, your mother and father were the ones who taught you the lessons that make you are who you are today. I would not begin to even fathom the idea that they would be ever disappointed in you... nor are you betraying them.

Bring the plans to Lucia in the morning. She will help craft and form them as they are needed. She is your second-in-command, Aymeric. The person you trust the most. She would do whatever you ask her to. So, trust in her help lead the protection of Ishgard and not to shoulder all burdens on yourself.

[ Then, her hands slip from the back of his head to cradle him once more. She guides him to look up at her. Her gaze is gentle with just a hint of mischief with a smile on her face. ]

I was very serious about the notion. I would gladly put you to bed if it means you would rest for even an hour or two. [ Alkaid leans forward and places a light kiss to his lips. Truth be told that she had wanted to kiss him all night, but felt it would be unwanted or in poor spirit to. ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ If only time would allow it, he would gladly remain like this with her close beside him and her fingers running through his hair. The action is calming, and although his thoughts and feelings both feel incredibly raw, having her nearby is soothing some of the hurt and weight he's been carrying.

While he very much desires to lie down next to her, he knows that he could not knowingly carry out the same actions that his birth father had done. Perhaps nothing would happen, and the outcome would be different, but he is not willing to leave that to chance. Perhaps if they were linked together as a couple, intending to marry, it would be different, but he would not dare even dream of such a thing. Surely she would not wish to settle down with someone like him, who will always have oaths and responsibilities to others that need to be fulfilled.

He could not tie her down and prevent her from living whatever sort of life she wishes to have. He, too, knows that sacrifices are often necessary, and he has told himself he must do his best to not let his heart grow too fond of her.

Never mind that those particular seeds may well have been planted. ]

I would never, as I am certain you know. [ Her very next words confirm that, and he nods as if to underline it further. ] Would that they had lived longer, that I might ask for their thoughts and their approval if they would give it. Even if all they had to offer was disapproval, I would take that in stride as well.

[ He lets out a sigh then, because he still cannot help but question himself and the decisions he has made thus far. ]

If only I had your confidence. [ He has confidence in his people, and in Lucia and the Temple Knights. He even has the confidence to present a bold and determined exterior when in the company of others. That he is presently gripped by his fears and doubts should not detract from that; or at least, that is what he hopes. When morning comes, everything that transpired this night will have to be nothing more than a memory.

The mask of the Lord Commander must slip firmly back in place, and he means to ensure that it does. ]

Of course. Who better to assist with the crafting of plans than her? And, again, I am not ungrateful for your assistance. This- [ He points to his scrawled notes. ] This clearly would have been a lacking effort if not for you.

[ Still, those burdens weigh quite heavily on his shoulders even now, and although he does not resist, allowing her to guide him where she will, the look of one who is weary of carrying such a weight on his own for so long is plainly written in his gaze. ]

Then I too am very serious. You also must rest, for I am sure you are every bit as tired, perhaps more.

[ If not for the complete impropriety of it, he would invite her into his bed, that they could lie together and offer each other what comfort they could. The idea still calls to him, but he knows it would be wholly foolish and would bring disgrace to House Borel if anyone were to learn of it.

Instead, he settles for leaning into the kiss and deepening it just slightly. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Does she not have her own oaths and responsibilities to fulfill? Why would he wish to be always waiting in Ishgard for her to return? If anything, Alkaid wonders why he has chosen her. Could this even be called a stable relationship? Is it even a relationship? She has never bothered with terms or labels for their feelings -- given neither have properly confessed. She still believes that perhaps she is the one too far in love with him and that he should not be saddled down with her and whatever the Scions pull her to do. ]

I am certain they still watch over you. No one is ever truly gone. Even the civilizations devastated by Calamities still remain in some form or fashion. Take the time to close your eyes and listen. They may not speak with words, but, you will most certainly hear them.

[ Or, perhaps her training as a conjurer shows to vibrantly at times. ]

I would not say confidence... but faith. I don't need the credit for helping organize your plans. Take them as needed to Lucia and plan further. You two, after all, will always know Ishgard more than I will.

[ She is certainly tired. Her body is sore and aches from the expenditure of aether, and the warm bath only highlighted it more. However, her care and attention is entirely placed on him for the moment. Her gaze softens at the tired look in his eyes. As she kisses him, her thumbs brush across his cheeks again. ]

Let us both be off to bed then.

[thewayforpeace]

[ That is a fair question, and of course he realizes that her responsibilities far outweigh his own. But in his mind, he would do any amount of waiting for her, even if all they had time for was the briefest of moments together on occasion. Still, it seems to him that a relationship like that cannot be what she is looking for; it is a cheap imitation of what a relationship should be, and he would not willingly subject her to it. Subjecting himself to it is one thing. Doing that to her is another matter entirely.

He supposes the question that should be asked is why they should choose each other, because this certainly is not a stable relationship, when viewed from the perspective of their individual duties. It still could be a relationship, but making it work would take contributions from both of them. He is willing to make those contributions, of course. That has never been up for debate.

He opens his mouth to respond, but it would seem as though she has rendered him speechless by her words. She is right, of course; he does not have to look far to find his parents, because they are still very much with them.

For just a moment, he does close his eyes, more from tiredness than anything else. But he does yearn to hear their voices again, although his own state of mind is too disturbed to allow for such a thing. Perhaps another time when he is more at peace. Nevertheless, he files her words away for that other time, not wishing to forget the counsel she gave him. ]

Faith, then. [ He nods, knowing that it must seem odd for him to have such faith in the ability of others to rise to the occasion, while it seems as though his own foundations have been quite thoroughly rocked. ] Still, if it becomes necessary, and if you are available, might I summon you to the Congregation to further lend your advice?

[ He has no doubt that her presence and any advice she might give will be invaluable. He trusts both Lucia and Alkaid without question, and that is why he wishes to have both of their trusted opinions available. ]

Yes. It is high time you took some rest. [ Like her, his attention is easily shifted away from himself and onto her, because he has not missed the signs pointing to how tired she must also be. Both of them must be well-rested, and he will not keep her up any longer than he already has.

Although he does not rise from where they are both seated, leaning in just slightly as she brushes her thumbs across his cheeks, he does look around for signs of either the steward or the head maid. He is certain neither shall disturb them without cause, and he reasons that they are both so tired that surely nothing more will happen this night than the two of them allowing sleep to claim them quickly. ]

A bed has been prepared for you, which I am certain I mentioned previously. I assure you that it is quite comfortable.

[ He has something he wishes to propose, but it is so far outside of the realm of propriety that he knows not how to broach the subject. Still, he is suddenly realizing his reluctance to part with her, even if it is only until the morning. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ What sort of relationship might she be able to have at all? For as much as she loves to travel and see the world? She does not wish to do it always. Reprieves have to be had, and, part of her very much longs to have a place to call home and a family. While her tribe remains open arms to her? She had decided long ago the path she wanted. It is a path where she might have just her mate. Yet, how could she ask Aymeric to be anything of the sort? He has Ishgard, his House, his bloodline and name to continue on. The Scions will never let her be...

Alkaid lets out a deep sigh as the tiredness spreads across her body. Thinking about how the Scions will call upon her - regardless of how scattered they are - makes her wish to curl up in his arms and ask him once again to not let her go. Her mint eyes open to meet his sky blue ones and she forces a tired smile. ]

Of course. Call upon me or my sister, should you ever need anything. Even if it is to merely rant where prying ears should not hear. I will make sure to keep myself available for the morrow.

[ Her lips brush faintly against his again as her heart sinks ever so slightly. A bed. Truth be told, part of her had still hoped he would whisk her away to sleep beside him. In part because she has grown so used to having someone sleep beside her--quite often her sister. The other part, of course, is because she does not wish to part from him yet. They will have need to in the morning and it is not quite morning.

Alkaid's tail curls beside them as her ear stuck against her head. ]

The point of putting you to bed would be to be with you. [ Her tone is gentle, almost as if she is afraid to speak it louder. She expects him to turn down the idea of it all. Propriety and rumors; even now they must worry about it when none might see them or hear them.

Hands gently pull back and settle in her lap with her gaze dropped. Perhaps she should remove herself entirely so he might stand and head to bed. Of course, he would need to take her to the guest room arranged for her. That or he would ask one of his servants to do so. Her eyes settle on her hands as she begins to entwine them together and twist her forefingers. The nervous habit always shows as she waits for an answer she knows will not be one she wishes to hear. ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ Eventually, the time comes for everyone to retire, and although he imagines it may be somewhat different for the Warriors of Light, he also cannot imagine that she will be chained to that mantle and those responsibilities forever. He does not like to think of it, but so long as war remains and as long as people are fueled by hatred and distrust of each other, there will always be a need for warriors. Perhaps other Warriors will be called, and the reprieve that Alkaid desires will be given.

And although they have yet to truly voice their thoughts concerning one another, let alone determining what this relationship truly is, Aymeric has already begun to think that she is the one he wishes to have standing by him, being his partner in all things and the one that he shares his life with.

So while he may have to let her go in order to see to her duties, he will always be waiting for her to return, no matter how long a time it might be. ]

Thank you. You are too good to us here, even with all the demands on your time that we place upon you and your sister.

[ But privately, whenever they have the opportunity to meet, even if it is only for business, he still welcomes those opportunities.

As he watches, he can see that he has chosen the wrong sort of words once again. He spoke as the lord of this house would, not as himself, and he can see that doing so has disappointed her. Truthfully, he fears what might become of her reputation should this encounter be discovered, even though he knows no one within these walls will talk of it to others not part of the house. He has his own reputation to think of, of course, but that is not at the forefront of his mind just now. ]

Then... [ His mind is still giving loud and clear warnings about the foolishness of this, but he chooses to ignore those warnings and forge on ahead. ] Then that is what we will do.

[ He knows it is what he desires, and she has made her desires plain, so he sees no reason to continue lingering on the fence, wavering between right and wrong.

Without another moment of hesitation, he reaches for her hands and gives a light pull, hoping that she will stand and come with him. A stray thought enters his mind about merely picking her up and carrying her that way, but he wonders if she might push him away if he were to attempt such a thing.

Still, he waits with his hands on hers, watching for her reaction. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ There must have been Warriors of Light chosen by Hydaelyn in other ages. She cannot imagine that her and her sister are so uniquely special that they would be the only ones. There had been those chosen before the Seventh Calamity, hadn't there? Memories had been covered by the act that saved the star. An act that she knows only her, her sister, Alphinaud and Alisaie will ever truly know.

She would love nothing more than to spend her days with Aymeric in Ishgard. While she will always have a lust for travel? She would have him at her side through all the sights and sounds. Perhaps one day they might find an excuse to do so. She never was able to follow up on her promise to introduce him to the moogles... ]

Perhaps more people should be willing to lend aid. Then it might not be as special as it must seem.

[ Her shoulders sag for but a moment before she squares them again and forces herself out of the reactionary state. While she may wish to be at his side in all things? It is simply not realistic. Not with politics, policies, standards. So, instead she offers him an understanding smile even if there is still lingering sadness in the corner of her eyes.

She understands that they should not and is moves to tell him as such. He beats her to speaking, and thr next words he says shock her. Her ears stand on end and her tail straightens in surprise. He encloses his hands around hers and she moves with him as if on perfect queue to stand up.

In all honesty, she is struck wordlessly. What can she say that might convey her surprise, and yet her willingness to follow him endlessly? ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ Strangely enough, his thoughts have strayed from the guilt and regret that he has been feeling for what he still sees as a failure on his part. Instead, he has begun to think of what he might do to ensure that he and Alkaid get to spend at least some time together. In what capacity remains to be seen, but for the first time, he has begun to entertain the thought of attempting to forge a more permanent connection with her. Of course, some might call it premature, as they still have a lot to learn about one another, but is that not part of the journey?

Her voice interrupts his thoughts, and he is quick to focus back on her. ]

If people are unwilling to lend aid, it is only because Ishgard has been closed off for so long. In that respect, our apparent isolation is our own doing. It is not surprising that the number of those who would aid us remains small.

[ But speaking of this only adds to the weariness that has begun to settle on him, and while he cannot realistically run away from the consequences of his actions and the actions of others, he simply lacks the energy to face these problems at the present time.

When she stands, he smiles, but it is quick to fade when he realizes that she may not be pleased by his words. ]

This is what you wish to do, is it not? I only want to ensure that your needs are met. If this is wrong, then I would hear of it before I take a misstep.

[shepherdtostars]

[ Sometime is surely better than no time at all. All she can do is hope that they might be able to find more small moments as the war continues to move onto its final strokes. Perhaps... even more time once the war has finally concluded. Time when she might be able to put being a Scion to the side. Dinners, to start. If he might be interested in picking up where they had been interrupted. ]

Many have become more open minded since the days of the Calamity. Your neighbors most certainly will come to aid if you all but ask. Especially after you have become so willing to open the doors to them.

[ Yet, she can see the weight starting to form once more on his shoulders. She raises a finger to her lips and gives a small wink. No more will they speak of plans in the morning or politics. Whatever conversations will happen tonight will be left to themselves. Her fingers move to slide in between his to nudge him to lead the way. ]

I think we should do what we both wish to. Pleasing one and not the other seems a pointless endeavor when it comes to something like this. [ This, them. Us. ] I thought it might help you rest if you had someone beside you... and I've become used to having someone next to me. Either due to traveling, or my sister...

[thewayforpeace]

[ He would love to extend another dinner invitation to her, considering how their first one was interrupted. There is still so much he wishes to talk about and to ask her, and of course, he also wishes to have a dinner with both of the sisters present. One group dinner and one more private one, if he might be so bold as to hope for that. If this war ever ends, he resolves to do just that. ]

I must admit that I do feel more inclined to reach out to our neighbors and those who would be our allies. There are some ventures that can be succeeded on one's own, but there are many that require assistance and cooperation, and between us, I would see Ishgard take up a place in Eorzea's alliance.

[ He makes a mental note to himself to see about further opening the channels of communication between Ishgard and the others who participate in the alliance.

For now, though, he is far too tired to think on such things for very long, despite all of his protests to the contrary. And as she goes on to express her thoughts, he falls silent once more to listen. ]

I suppose I should also admit that I am not accustomed to having someone beside me. It has been some time since my mother would stay with me until I slept; I was a boy then, not yet a man, you see. [ She was the only mother that he had ever known, so of course it seems natural that he would draw comfort from her presence. It's hardly a novel concept, of course, because all children draw comfort from their parents, so he isn't even certain why he mentioned it.

But then he manages a small yet gentle smile for her benefit. ] If it helps the both of us find rest, then you are welcome to join me.

[ He gives her hand a squeeze, and then he begins to lead her to his room. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ K'thisru would certainly not turn down another invitation to dinner. Especially with the knowledge that Alkaid and the Lord Commander are rather comfortable around one another now. Her sister has her own stories to tell and share. No doubt they are also more entertaining... as Alkaid tends to generally get to the heart of the matter. Unless, of course, she happens to be describing people or places. ]

Considering how well the Grand Melee went? You should. They no doubt were not only impressed, but happy that Ishgard opened her gates to them. Even if it was for just a small while.

[ Alkaid nods, with no hint of expectations or judgement on her face. She had expected as such. If he was the heir to House Borel, and was adopted, then there were no siblings. Any sort of relationship a child has with their mother would change by the nature of one growing up. It remains comforting that he was truly loved by the Borels. She had thought him a lonely person when they first met.

Her fingers slide along side his as she follows beside him. ]

Well, Ser Aymeric. Should you ever be in need of company at the night to help you rest? You can now most certainly call upon my expertise. [ Even if she is only to his chest? She suspects she might be able to find a way for him to calm and rest for a small amount of time. ] I would rather you not be as lonely as possible when I'm here.

[thewayforpeace]

[ He has already made a mental note to invite both sisters over for as many dinners as they would like. And if it weren't a complete departure from propriety, he would ask that there be no interruptions of any sort, not even from the Scions, unless it was absolutely dire and unavoidable. Although he would never state it aloud, he believes that all of them, himself included, rely far too much on the two sisters, when things could be handled without their assistance.

But who knows what will end up transpiring during these dinners? Perhaps there will be no interruptions at all, even if that may well be merely wishful thinking. ]

As far as I am concerned, provided that I do not encounter any opposition, I wish to propose that Ishgard's gates will remain open for the foreseeable future. There is much we can do to forge stronger relations with the others in the alliance, and I mean to do whatever I must to ensure that happens.

[ He hasn't even realized that the conversation still remains on discussing the affairs of Ishgard and the other nations, because he is so accustomed to long discussions about such things that it is almost second nature to him.

But he wishes to talk of other things, especially since they may not have another opportunity quite like this again.

At her statement, a light flush of red forms at the base of his neck, but fortunately for him, it remains there. He certainly hopes she does not spy it, or else she will know that her words have taken him by surprise. ]

Ah, yes. I- Should such a situation arise, I will do my best to remember that. [ Never mind that such a thing most certainly falls into the realm of impropriety, and he does not wish to be the one who sullies her name or her reputation should that be discovered. ]

But I wholeheartedly appreciate and am grateful for your offer. [ He has known quite a few lonely nights following the passing of his parents, and so he marvels at her perceptiveness while also wishing that he could open his home and his bed to her permanently.

He knows that he could do such a thing, but would she accept? He decides not to ponder that potentially thorny issue this night and instead enjoy what time they have together. ]

Please, make yourself comfortable. [ He nods towards the bed once they finally reach his room and he holds the door open for her. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Her head tilts at the tone he uses. Ah, perhaps it is finally time to put the topic of politics, war, and the state of Ishgard to bed for now. A small laugh comes from her at the stumble in his words and she cannot help but rest her head against his arm. He rarely stumbles at all, thus hearing his brief halt of speech speaks more than any blush might.

The reputation of the purity of the Warrior of Light hardly matters to her. She has saved the realm over. If she wishes to spend a night with someone, crossing lines of intimacy or not, it is within her right. She cares little for what they might say of her. Unlike Aymeric, she has the capability of going from place to place to ignore the rumors. He does not. He must sit in the middle of constant shifts of gossip and politics. What would they say of him? That he was so easily tempted by a Savior of Ishgard?

Part of her, in truth, cares so very little of it all. She wishes to merely focus on Aymeric and their time together. The moments are all to fleeting, and she can already sense the ache inside her heart at the idea of saying goodbye in the morning. For a brief moment it is so strong that she presses the side of her face into his arm and closes her eyes as they walk.

Alkaid opens her eyes once the sound of the door opening comes to her ears. She steps inside, hand still entwined with his to look around the room. It looks similar to each of the rooms she has seen so far. A small fireplace with a chair, a few windows with drapes pulled over them, and a bed that very much says he is lord of the house. Her free hand reaches up to the drapes that hang from the frame of the bed. They are heavier than she expected. Though, with some thought, it does make sense. Isghard nights can be terribly cold.

She glances back at him with his statement. A blush strikes her face, despite being the one to insist on it all. After a moment she pulls herself up onto the bed and scoots to the end closes to the window. It would only seem fair that she has the colder side when he is the one in need of comfort. Her hand reaches up to pull the earrings from her ears, doing it in swift practiced motions. Then, she sets about undoing the braid across the top of her head in order to shake her hair free.

Once she places her earrings on the side table a few things strike her suddenly. He has never seen her with her hair undone or so informally dressed. He said for her to make herself comfortable, and in doing so, she moved as if this would be the place she would rest on several occasions. Her hand hovers over her earrings for a moment before turning back to look at him. Now it dawns on her how much she truly wishes that she could be with him like this day in and day out. How much that she not only wants to be at his side, but to truly call him her knight with her voice and not just her thoughts.

If only she might be as forward and bullheaded as her sister. Then, maybe, she could tell him all she wishes to without the fear he may somehow still turn her away. ]

It's a lovely room. [ She does not lie or simply speak to speak. The room feels like it could be home; like it should be home.

Maybe the loneliness she senses in the room is her own and not his. ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ That is the effect she seems to have on him. She takes his certainty and his calm brand of confidence and turns all of it on its head, leaving him unsettled in the best way and grasping for the right words to use. It's what happens when falling in love, not that he has yet come to the conclusion that that is what is happening here.

Everything from her head on his shoulder to the light scent that seems to fill the room whenever she is near has set his head spinning, but he does his best to keep his footing. Perhaps this is one of the biggest challenges he has ever had to face: how to navigate this encounter with grace so that he does not make himself look like a fool in front of her. Still, he would make himself look like a fool a thousand times over if it meant that she'd stay with him like this. Perhaps that logic doesn't quite make sense, but he isn't thinking about logic at the present moment.

As they enter the room, he watches her carefully, not wanting to miss a second of her reactions as she takes in the place. It isn't anything all that special, just another room inside a house full of them, but it is his other private sanctuary, the first being his study. It might not be filled with personal touches because that isn't the sort of man that he is, and yet it still contains all the hallmarks of the Borel family and the history and traditions that goes along with that.

While she is readying herself for sleep, he is doing the same, shedding the few trappings of Lord Commander that he left on following his own earlier preparations. Of course he has not seen her looking so informally dressed, nor wearing her hair that way, but he finds that he approves of it all the same. She too has not seen him dressed this way, without all of the regalia of his position and the armor besides. In fact, he thinks, he must look rather ordinary, as he is wearing plainer clothes meant for sleeping in.

When she compliments the room, he merely nods. ] Yes, it is. It has served me well over the years.

[ His attention is focused on her, however, and unless he has missed his guess, he believes he is seeing a somewhat troubled expression on her face. Of course, she is present with him to offer him comfort, by her own words, but he still can't help but want to reach out to her, to see if there is anything weighing on her that he might help with. He would push down his own troubled thoughts for her benefit, and without hesitation too.

Standing on his side of the bed, he does not slide in just yet, glancing over at her. He reaches for her hand so that he might give it a squeeze. ]

Is everything all right? [ He wonders if he ought to summon the head maid, if he has missed meeting a need of hers, whatever it might be. Perhaps he ought to have been more attentive and less caught up in trying to plot a course of action. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Her hand curls around his. There is a moment that passes where she does not move nor does she say anything. Then, after what seems like quite the long time, she pushes herself forward. She sits on her knees and wraps her arms around his neck with no hesitation. It is as if she still stands on the railing at his favorite place in the whole city, curling against him in hopes the Scions might not find her. Alkaid hides her face between his neck and her arm. Unlike him, she remains dressed in the robe that settles over the borrowed shirt. Looking at his rather casual attire has hardly crossed her mind at the moment.

How selfish is she for simply wanting this with him? Shed the titles she's been given and the responsibilities that they entail. To live as just an adventurer within Ishgard so she might see him every day? She bites her lip for a brief moment to keep her emotions in line. He hardly needs her weakness when he is still wrestles with his own. ]

Why can't it be like this? [ She hates how much like a lamentation it sounds, but she can hardly stop it from coming forward. He has no inclination of how much she loves him; how much saying good-bye makes her heart ache. It has only gotten harder as time has gone on... and now it feels neigh impossible. ] Why can't we be like this?

[ Why must she be pulled away from him? Has she not earned this after all that she has done for Eorzea? While the morning is still hours away, she cannot shake the feeling that once the suns rays find their way through curtains and drapes, she'll inevitably summoned away from him. Perhaps it does not hurt him as deeply as it hurts her. Again, it has always felt like she and her sister feel things so much more than others. Mayhap she is pushing him away by showing him just a small part of what she's kept hidden all this time. ]

I want to be here. [ With you. ] Not pulled away to another meeting in another city-state. Not being asked to risk life and limb for another city-state. Not right at this moment... [ her face presses further into his neck to try and keep the emotions as contained as she can. ]

I want a home for my sister and I want a home to come back to. I... I want a home here. [ In Isghard, with him, in this room. She's certain she is repeating herself now and cannot help it. If she says it enough out loud then perhaps one of the Twelve or Hydaelyn will hear it. ] Why can't it be?