FF PSL | ❝ for those we can yet save. ❞

[hobbitholmes]

AFTERGLOW

— hear, feel think. —

❄️ HEAVENSWARD

★ Ever Heavensward (3.0)
    — Ishgard Meetings, Part 2

★ As Goes Light, So Goes Darkness (3.1)
    — Unfleeting Emotions

★ The Gears of Change (3.2)
    — Heavy Hearts, Part 2

★ Revenge of the Horde (3.3)
    — Starlight Festival (Alkaid)
    — Starlight Festival (KP)

🔥 STORMBLOOD

★ IC Permission
★ IC Permission
★ IC Permission
★ IC Permission
★ IC Permission

BEYOND

CODE BY TESSISAMESS

Comments

[shepherdtostars]

[ There must have been Warriors of Light chosen by Hydaelyn in other ages. She cannot imagine that her and her sister are so uniquely special that they would be the only ones. There had been those chosen before the Seventh Calamity, hadn't there? Memories had been covered by the act that saved the star. An act that she knows only her, her sister, Alphinaud and Alisaie will ever truly know.

She would love nothing more than to spend her days with Aymeric in Ishgard. While she will always have a lust for travel? She would have him at her side through all the sights and sounds. Perhaps one day they might find an excuse to do so. She never was able to follow up on her promise to introduce him to the moogles... ]

Perhaps more people should be willing to lend aid. Then it might not be as special as it must seem.

[ Her shoulders sag for but a moment before she squares them again and forces herself out of the reactionary state. While she may wish to be at his side in all things? It is simply not realistic. Not with politics, policies, standards. So, instead she offers him an understanding smile even if there is still lingering sadness in the corner of her eyes.

She understands that they should not and is moves to tell him as such. He beats her to speaking, and thr next words he says shock her. Her ears stand on end and her tail straightens in surprise. He encloses his hands around hers and she moves with him as if on perfect queue to stand up.

In all honesty, she is struck wordlessly. What can she say that might convey her surprise, and yet her willingness to follow him endlessly? ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ Strangely enough, his thoughts have strayed from the guilt and regret that he has been feeling for what he still sees as a failure on his part. Instead, he has begun to think of what he might do to ensure that he and Alkaid get to spend at least some time together. In what capacity remains to be seen, but for the first time, he has begun to entertain the thought of attempting to forge a more permanent connection with her. Of course, some might call it premature, as they still have a lot to learn about one another, but is that not part of the journey?

Her voice interrupts his thoughts, and he is quick to focus back on her. ]

If people are unwilling to lend aid, it is only because Ishgard has been closed off for so long. In that respect, our apparent isolation is our own doing. It is not surprising that the number of those who would aid us remains small.

[ But speaking of this only adds to the weariness that has begun to settle on him, and while he cannot realistically run away from the consequences of his actions and the actions of others, he simply lacks the energy to face these problems at the present time.

When she stands, he smiles, but it is quick to fade when he realizes that she may not be pleased by his words. ]

This is what you wish to do, is it not? I only want to ensure that your needs are met. If this is wrong, then I would hear of it before I take a misstep.

[shepherdtostars]

[ Sometime is surely better than no time at all. All she can do is hope that they might be able to find more small moments as the war continues to move onto its final strokes. Perhaps... even more time once the war has finally concluded. Time when she might be able to put being a Scion to the side. Dinners, to start. If he might be interested in picking up where they had been interrupted. ]

Many have become more open minded since the days of the Calamity. Your neighbors most certainly will come to aid if you all but ask. Especially after you have become so willing to open the doors to them.

[ Yet, she can see the weight starting to form once more on his shoulders. She raises a finger to her lips and gives a small wink. No more will they speak of plans in the morning or politics. Whatever conversations will happen tonight will be left to themselves. Her fingers move to slide in between his to nudge him to lead the way. ]

I think we should do what we both wish to. Pleasing one and not the other seems a pointless endeavor when it comes to something like this. [ This, them. Us. ] I thought it might help you rest if you had someone beside you... and I've become used to having someone next to me. Either due to traveling, or my sister...

[thewayforpeace]

[ He would love to extend another dinner invitation to her, considering how their first one was interrupted. There is still so much he wishes to talk about and to ask her, and of course, he also wishes to have a dinner with both of the sisters present. One group dinner and one more private one, if he might be so bold as to hope for that. If this war ever ends, he resolves to do just that. ]

I must admit that I do feel more inclined to reach out to our neighbors and those who would be our allies. There are some ventures that can be succeeded on one's own, but there are many that require assistance and cooperation, and between us, I would see Ishgard take up a place in Eorzea's alliance.

[ He makes a mental note to himself to see about further opening the channels of communication between Ishgard and the others who participate in the alliance.

For now, though, he is far too tired to think on such things for very long, despite all of his protests to the contrary. And as she goes on to express her thoughts, he falls silent once more to listen. ]

I suppose I should also admit that I am not accustomed to having someone beside me. It has been some time since my mother would stay with me until I slept; I was a boy then, not yet a man, you see. [ She was the only mother that he had ever known, so of course it seems natural that he would draw comfort from her presence. It's hardly a novel concept, of course, because all children draw comfort from their parents, so he isn't even certain why he mentioned it.

But then he manages a small yet gentle smile for her benefit. ] If it helps the both of us find rest, then you are welcome to join me.

[ He gives her hand a squeeze, and then he begins to lead her to his room. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ K'thisru would certainly not turn down another invitation to dinner. Especially with the knowledge that Alkaid and the Lord Commander are rather comfortable around one another now. Her sister has her own stories to tell and share. No doubt they are also more entertaining... as Alkaid tends to generally get to the heart of the matter. Unless, of course, she happens to be describing people or places. ]

Considering how well the Grand Melee went? You should. They no doubt were not only impressed, but happy that Ishgard opened her gates to them. Even if it was for just a small while.

[ Alkaid nods, with no hint of expectations or judgement on her face. She had expected as such. If he was the heir to House Borel, and was adopted, then there were no siblings. Any sort of relationship a child has with their mother would change by the nature of one growing up. It remains comforting that he was truly loved by the Borels. She had thought him a lonely person when they first met.

Her fingers slide along side his as she follows beside him. ]

Well, Ser Aymeric. Should you ever be in need of company at the night to help you rest? You can now most certainly call upon my expertise. [ Even if she is only to his chest? She suspects she might be able to find a way for him to calm and rest for a small amount of time. ] I would rather you not be as lonely as possible when I'm here.

[thewayforpeace]

[ He has already made a mental note to invite both sisters over for as many dinners as they would like. And if it weren't a complete departure from propriety, he would ask that there be no interruptions of any sort, not even from the Scions, unless it was absolutely dire and unavoidable. Although he would never state it aloud, he believes that all of them, himself included, rely far too much on the two sisters, when things could be handled without their assistance.

But who knows what will end up transpiring during these dinners? Perhaps there will be no interruptions at all, even if that may well be merely wishful thinking. ]

As far as I am concerned, provided that I do not encounter any opposition, I wish to propose that Ishgard's gates will remain open for the foreseeable future. There is much we can do to forge stronger relations with the others in the alliance, and I mean to do whatever I must to ensure that happens.

[ He hasn't even realized that the conversation still remains on discussing the affairs of Ishgard and the other nations, because he is so accustomed to long discussions about such things that it is almost second nature to him.

But he wishes to talk of other things, especially since they may not have another opportunity quite like this again.

At her statement, a light flush of red forms at the base of his neck, but fortunately for him, it remains there. He certainly hopes she does not spy it, or else she will know that her words have taken him by surprise. ]

Ah, yes. I- Should such a situation arise, I will do my best to remember that. [ Never mind that such a thing most certainly falls into the realm of impropriety, and he does not wish to be the one who sullies her name or her reputation should that be discovered. ]

But I wholeheartedly appreciate and am grateful for your offer. [ He has known quite a few lonely nights following the passing of his parents, and so he marvels at her perceptiveness while also wishing that he could open his home and his bed to her permanently.

He knows that he could do such a thing, but would she accept? He decides not to ponder that potentially thorny issue this night and instead enjoy what time they have together. ]

Please, make yourself comfortable. [ He nods towards the bed once they finally reach his room and he holds the door open for her. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Her head tilts at the tone he uses. Ah, perhaps it is finally time to put the topic of politics, war, and the state of Ishgard to bed for now. A small laugh comes from her at the stumble in his words and she cannot help but rest her head against his arm. He rarely stumbles at all, thus hearing his brief halt of speech speaks more than any blush might.

The reputation of the purity of the Warrior of Light hardly matters to her. She has saved the realm over. If she wishes to spend a night with someone, crossing lines of intimacy or not, it is within her right. She cares little for what they might say of her. Unlike Aymeric, she has the capability of going from place to place to ignore the rumors. He does not. He must sit in the middle of constant shifts of gossip and politics. What would they say of him? That he was so easily tempted by a Savior of Ishgard?

Part of her, in truth, cares so very little of it all. She wishes to merely focus on Aymeric and their time together. The moments are all to fleeting, and she can already sense the ache inside her heart at the idea of saying goodbye in the morning. For a brief moment it is so strong that she presses the side of her face into his arm and closes her eyes as they walk.

Alkaid opens her eyes once the sound of the door opening comes to her ears. She steps inside, hand still entwined with his to look around the room. It looks similar to each of the rooms she has seen so far. A small fireplace with a chair, a few windows with drapes pulled over them, and a bed that very much says he is lord of the house. Her free hand reaches up to the drapes that hang from the frame of the bed. They are heavier than she expected. Though, with some thought, it does make sense. Isghard nights can be terribly cold.

She glances back at him with his statement. A blush strikes her face, despite being the one to insist on it all. After a moment she pulls herself up onto the bed and scoots to the end closes to the window. It would only seem fair that she has the colder side when he is the one in need of comfort. Her hand reaches up to pull the earrings from her ears, doing it in swift practiced motions. Then, she sets about undoing the braid across the top of her head in order to shake her hair free.

Once she places her earrings on the side table a few things strike her suddenly. He has never seen her with her hair undone or so informally dressed. He said for her to make herself comfortable, and in doing so, she moved as if this would be the place she would rest on several occasions. Her hand hovers over her earrings for a moment before turning back to look at him. Now it dawns on her how much she truly wishes that she could be with him like this day in and day out. How much that she not only wants to be at his side, but to truly call him her knight with her voice and not just her thoughts.

If only she might be as forward and bullheaded as her sister. Then, maybe, she could tell him all she wishes to without the fear he may somehow still turn her away. ]

It's a lovely room. [ She does not lie or simply speak to speak. The room feels like it could be home; like it should be home.

Maybe the loneliness she senses in the room is her own and not his. ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ That is the effect she seems to have on him. She takes his certainty and his calm brand of confidence and turns all of it on its head, leaving him unsettled in the best way and grasping for the right words to use. It's what happens when falling in love, not that he has yet come to the conclusion that that is what is happening here.

Everything from her head on his shoulder to the light scent that seems to fill the room whenever she is near has set his head spinning, but he does his best to keep his footing. Perhaps this is one of the biggest challenges he has ever had to face: how to navigate this encounter with grace so that he does not make himself look like a fool in front of her. Still, he would make himself look like a fool a thousand times over if it meant that she'd stay with him like this. Perhaps that logic doesn't quite make sense, but he isn't thinking about logic at the present moment.

As they enter the room, he watches her carefully, not wanting to miss a second of her reactions as she takes in the place. It isn't anything all that special, just another room inside a house full of them, but it is his other private sanctuary, the first being his study. It might not be filled with personal touches because that isn't the sort of man that he is, and yet it still contains all the hallmarks of the Borel family and the history and traditions that goes along with that.

While she is readying herself for sleep, he is doing the same, shedding the few trappings of Lord Commander that he left on following his own earlier preparations. Of course he has not seen her looking so informally dressed, nor wearing her hair that way, but he finds that he approves of it all the same. She too has not seen him dressed this way, without all of the regalia of his position and the armor besides. In fact, he thinks, he must look rather ordinary, as he is wearing plainer clothes meant for sleeping in.

When she compliments the room, he merely nods. ] Yes, it is. It has served me well over the years.

[ His attention is focused on her, however, and unless he has missed his guess, he believes he is seeing a somewhat troubled expression on her face. Of course, she is present with him to offer him comfort, by her own words, but he still can't help but want to reach out to her, to see if there is anything weighing on her that he might help with. He would push down his own troubled thoughts for her benefit, and without hesitation too.

Standing on his side of the bed, he does not slide in just yet, glancing over at her. He reaches for her hand so that he might give it a squeeze. ]

Is everything all right? [ He wonders if he ought to summon the head maid, if he has missed meeting a need of hers, whatever it might be. Perhaps he ought to have been more attentive and less caught up in trying to plot a course of action. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Her hand curls around his. There is a moment that passes where she does not move nor does she say anything. Then, after what seems like quite the long time, she pushes herself forward. She sits on her knees and wraps her arms around his neck with no hesitation. It is as if she still stands on the railing at his favorite place in the whole city, curling against him in hopes the Scions might not find her. Alkaid hides her face between his neck and her arm. Unlike him, she remains dressed in the robe that settles over the borrowed shirt. Looking at his rather casual attire has hardly crossed her mind at the moment.

How selfish is she for simply wanting this with him? Shed the titles she's been given and the responsibilities that they entail. To live as just an adventurer within Ishgard so she might see him every day? She bites her lip for a brief moment to keep her emotions in line. He hardly needs her weakness when he is still wrestles with his own. ]

Why can't it be like this? [ She hates how much like a lamentation it sounds, but she can hardly stop it from coming forward. He has no inclination of how much she loves him; how much saying good-bye makes her heart ache. It has only gotten harder as time has gone on... and now it feels neigh impossible. ] Why can't we be like this?

[ Why must she be pulled away from him? Has she not earned this after all that she has done for Eorzea? While the morning is still hours away, she cannot shake the feeling that once the suns rays find their way through curtains and drapes, she'll inevitably summoned away from him. Perhaps it does not hurt him as deeply as it hurts her. Again, it has always felt like she and her sister feel things so much more than others. Mayhap she is pushing him away by showing him just a small part of what she's kept hidden all this time. ]

I want to be here. [ With you. ] Not pulled away to another meeting in another city-state. Not being asked to risk life and limb for another city-state. Not right at this moment... [ her face presses further into his neck to try and keep the emotions as contained as she can. ]

I want a home for my sister and I want a home to come back to. I... I want a home here. [ In Isghard, with him, in this room. She's certain she is repeating herself now and cannot help it. If she says it enough out loud then perhaps one of the Twelve or Hydaelyn will hear it. ] Why can't it be?

[thewayforpeace]

[ While he waits for an answer, he is all too aware that it feels as though his heart has seized up inside him. If he has upset her or failed to be attentive to her needs... Well, he will only think of himself as not living up to the reputation of the Borel name.

Without even a moment's hesitation, he wraps his arms around her, carefully pulling her into what he hopes is a comforting embrace. One hand moves to her hair, where it rests for a moment before beginning to carefully stroke the strands.

Something has upset her, and he fervently hopes that it is not something he did, but if it is, he will do everything in his power to rectify it. ]

Have I done something wrong? I would know what it is, that I might attempt making amends for it. [ He speaks at almost the same time she does, and he quickly falls silent so that he might hear what it is that troubles her.

Her words wash over him, and with each one, he feels an ache form in his heart as well. It is a different sort of weight from the one he has been wrestling with. This has less to do with his obligation to his beloved home and more to do with his feelings for her, which he has yet to truly identify.

Those feelings have only been growing stronger, despite his efforts to focus solely on his work and his duty, but some things just cannot be held back no matter how hard one tries. ]

It is not right that you are pulled here and there, not by choice but by the decisions of others. If there was anything I could do, or any decree that I could make that would set you free of all your responsibilities, giving you and your sister the freedom to go where you will and help those you wish to, I would do it without hesitation.

[ Suddenly, his own struggles seem far less important when faced with the gravity of her feelings and her own difficulties. ]

You may have been granted gifts far beyond my comprehension and that of others, but that hardly means you need to be constrained by the requests and whims of- Of anyone. Scions, myself as the Lord Commander, it does not matter.

[ And not for the first time this evening, he realizes that he has begun to resent himself for piling more responsibilities upon her, when, by rights, they should have been handled either by himself or his First Commander, or the Temple Knights.

Now that he sees the effects that such things are having on her, he can hardly feel anything different. ]

I meant what I said earlier, that if ever you and your sister need a place to stay, my home is open to you for as long as you require. Indefinitely, if that is what you need. I realize that does not fully address your longings and your desires, but you have but to ask and I will do what I can to see that your needs are met, to the best of my ability.

[ He may have no jurisdiction over the Scions, but as far as giving her a home, he would do that, and more. It is only the beginning of the realization that he cares for her, even loves her, but those feelings seem to only be growing stronger with every minute that passes. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Her arms tighten around him at his question. Nothing--he has done nothing wrong by her. Her head shakes as if to further illustrate this fact. All he has ever done is shown the utmost of respect, kindness, and care even when he he was at arms length. It has only served to strengthen and deepen her feelings towards him. When she believes there is nothing else he could do to cause her feelings to deepen? He proves her wrong.

It must be only because of her own exhaustion. It took no small amount of aether to heal their mutual friend. However, it truly did not hit her until this moment. Everything seems to be cascading in a blink of an eye, and she struggles to keep it all in place. She is here to help him, not cry to him as a child would about how unfair the world is.

His statements do not fall deafly on her. Her ears twitch slightly, bending to make sure not to be in his way. After another moment, she pulls back in order to look up at him. The question in her eyes asks if she could truly call his home just that--home. Would it not burden him further? Cause him more distress under social sway? That is the last thing she wishes ever to be to him. A burden.

Her hands move to once again hold his head between them. ]

...May I kiss you?

[thewayforpeace]

[ He does not view her as a child, railing against an unfair world. The world is unfair, and it has been far harder on her and her sister than most. It is not beyond his comprehension that she should be wrestling with the weight of everything that she carries. Had he not done the same earlier this evening? What's more, he still is, but his attentions have shifted from himself onto her, because he would give her all the comfort that he can.

She needs to rest, perhaps even more than he does, if he might be so bold as to assume that. He did not expend tremendous amounts of aether in order to heal a great dragon. As he looks into her eyes and sees the question clearly present there, he nods. She will always have a home with him, whatever the cost to him personally. Others may cast their disapproval and aspersions upon him, but that is not something he is unaccustomed to. Society might have expectations for what is proper, but sometimes, meeting the needs of another is more important than social notions of propriety.

Indeed, he still is less worried about his own reputation and far more concerned with hers. But if it is a place to call home that she longs for, then he will give her one without pause.

When she places her hands about his head and asks that question, again he nods. ]

You may. [ He would never turn down any request of hers, let alone a request such as this. ] But first, please lie down. I can see how tired you are.

[ Again, he is no longer thinking of himself, no matter how much he enjoys sharing kisses with her; concern for her well-being has taken over, pushing everything else away. He will not be selfish when faced with her exhaustion and her upset. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ Her forehead presses to his once he has given his silent answer. She will insist that she is fine and that aether can be replenished, but his assumptions are not wrong. A faint smile teases the corners of her mouth. He is ever more thoughtful of those around him. What will the pair of them do with one another? Although, she supposes there is very little for them to do than make sure the other is cared for. She wishes she might be bold enough to call them a couple... but she knows quite opposite of that. ]

Setting your own conditions? [ An attempt at a small jest as she gently kisses his brow.

Regardless, she pulls away from him and returns to her side of the bed. Well, the side that she has taken to her own for the night. She would not dare to presume it is hers by right or by ownership. The robe she has been loaned slips off easily even as one hand makes sure the larger shirt on her remains in place as best as it can. While she certainly would not mind him seeing her... she has her doubts he would ever want their relationship to be so intimate.

Alkaid settles into the bed underneath the sheets and waits for him to join her. Once he has, she is his side practically in an instant. Her arm wraps around him as her head rests against his chest. A part of her instantly chastises herself for moving so. Perhaps he would not want her so close or wish a space between them in his bed. They are far from being formally together or even a couple.

She glances up at him as if to ask a form of late permission that it is alright for them to be as they are. ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ If not for the fact that a war was going on, he would clear his schedule for the next day so that he might spend more time with her. That is truly what he desires now, even if he has only just begun to realize it. They may not have placed a title on their relationship, and they certainly have not discussed such things aloud, but in his mind, he has already begun to consider them a couple. He will have to inquire about her thoughts on that matter before too long. ]

Perhaps I am. [ When she presses that kiss against his brow, his eyes slide closed for just a moment until she pulls away and moves over to the bed. It might as well be her side, because this bed has always been empty except for himself. He watches as she gets into the bed and makes herself comfortable, and once he is satisfied, he joins her there.

Without thought, his hand moves down to lightly twine into her hair, being careful not to pull on it. If they could remain like this even into the next morning, he would be very happy indeed.

As she glances up, he glances downwards, and again he inclines his head in a nod. This is more than he could have hoped for, and he is grateful for her presence at his side. ]

Are you comfortable?

[shepherdtostars]

I am.

[ Selfishly so, she adds quietly in her mind.

The arm draped over him moves to rest her hand on his chest. She would say or think that such a thing feels natural--as if it has always meant to be this way. Such thoughts, while not childish, certainly seem whimsical in nature and unrealistic in the world they live in. Her head tilts more into his chest as her gaze lowers. Her ears twitch slightly at his hand in her hair.

What should they speak of? Should they just enjoy each other's presence? She still hasn't acted on the kiss he gave her permission for. Yet, it oddly feels out of place if she does. She sighs, rubbing her cheek into the fabric of his shirt. ]

[thewayforpeace]

Good. So long as you are a guest in my home, I will do my best to give you anything that you need or desire to make your stay here more comfortable.

[ He has spent so long sleeping alone in this room with its bed that is large even for him that having someone to share it with is a welcome change. And when she rests her hand on his chest, his first instinct is to move in closer as if to say he welcomes her touch. This does feel right, as if it is a regular occurrence for them. And how he wishes that it was, because when the next night comes and he returns to this room and finds it empty, he knows that he will miss her presence greatly.

He would lie here like this with her until one or both of them falls asleep, but he wonders if he ought to try and fill the silence that has fallen over the room. ]

You asked me to share my burdens with you, but what of yours? I would hear of yours if the telling of them helps ease your mind.

[shepherdtostars]

I doubt you would be willing to provide everything I desire. [ The tone in her voice is soft and almost far away sounding. She would not ask him to attend to her whim of the idea of a future of any sort between them. What he has given her up until this point is more than enough--it should be enough.

His other query makes her tilt her head back to look at him. Her gaze softens. Her burdens? There are many she might offer up. This may not be the time or place for all of them. Instead, after a moment, her shoulders relax and she turns into him. She rests her chin on his chest to look at him properly. ]

The beastmen are attempting to actively summon their Primals again. It's why the Scions keep calling us away. [ Her eyes dart to the side for only a brief moment before returning to him. ] There is another group that has decide to pit themselves against the Scions. They call themselves the "Warriors of Darkness." They're intention is to beat us to the slaying of Primals and cause some sort of upset... although they have been quiet for some time now.

We tried to reach out to them and offer to make an alliance; we fight the same things after all. Yet, they insist we are their enemy no matter what. I believe it bothers Alphinaud more than anyone after all that has happened...

[ Then, a shake of her head. ] I wouldn't wish to weigh you down with more when you are in need of rest, Aymeric.

[thewayforpeace]

[ Here, he looks confused, knowing he most certainly must be not understanding her, at least not fully. ] What is the reason for your doubt? If it is something I can give you or do for you, I would do it without even a moment's hesitation. [ While he may not know the exact direction her thoughts are taking, his own thoughts are going in a certain direction as well, and what is more, it is not one he could have predicted before this night.

Before this, it was only a fool's hope that she might wish to spend time with him, getting to know him, and him getting to know her, and in doing so that the two might grow closer. Now that she is here in his house and in his bed, he realizes that he would make this permanent, if only it was what she wanted as well.

To ask her so plainly would be ungraceful and improper, but he so desperately longs to ask where her heart lies on this matter. Instead, he gives thought to her descriptions about the plight the Scions are presently facing. ]

I see. It does not need to be said that the beastmen represent a tremendous threat as it is, but if you add in these Warriors of Darkness...

For some, the goal is nothing more than causing chaos and upheaval in the world, and I gather that is the intent of these Warriors. But surely that cannot be all that drives them, and if it is, I can hardly help but wonder what or who has done them such wrong that they would desire to only cause trouble.

It is said that fools often do not hear wise counsel, or even an olive branch being extended, and while I am reluctant to deem these Warriors fools, I cannot help but think that must be so. What is their position that renders them so completely opposed to the Scions, I wonder?

[ He wishes he could understand, but there are just some things that cannot be comprehended. ]

Please, you have helped me navigate the corridors of my own mind and the thoughts that dwell within; I would do the same for you.

[shepherdtostars]

There is something else to them. Something... desperate, fearful. While it seems their hearts are very much set on their mission? I can't help but feel there is something that lurks behind them pushing them. Of course, I have nothing to prove it, just suspicions and hunches. Those do little without evidence to back them up.

Their leader, the Warrior of Darkness himself seems familiar somehow. Maybe it is just because they all seem to be adventurers at heart. Just as I and Thisru started out.

[ A shrug of her shoulder can be seen despite how she lays tucked beside him. As for his other statements? Her eyes close and her head cants downwards ever so slightly. How could she ever ask him? It would be asking him to forgo what his traditions and his society have taught him. While a passing flirtation or relationship would not be seen as odd, she is sure, that is not truly what she wants. She wishes to call him hers and for him to call her his.

Yet, there is no doubt in her mind she could not live up to the expectations given to one of his standing. She is an adventurer and a traveler. The Scions and Eorzean Alliance would expect her to be at their call. How could she be considered a stable partner -- let alone anything more -- when her duty would take her away from the duties he would need of her?

Her tail shifts slightly under the covers as her ears tuck down slightly. ]

... I couldn't give you everything you would need in return. [ Even saying that much makes her wish to crawl under the covers and hide from what she is certain to be a negative reaction. ] After all, I'm a Champion of Hydaelyn and Eorzea. A Savior of Ishgard, Slayer of Primals. There are far too many expectations put upon me and ask you grant me what I would ask for. Not when I could not fulfill what it would require of me.

[thewayforpeace]

[ His expression sobers, which is something considering he has been fairly serious this entire time. Desperation? Fear? They have been his people's companions for far too long, as well as his, although he has done his best to present a confident exterior when in public, in hopes that his confidence might put to rest at least a small portion of their fears. ]

I may not know what it is that they are facing, but I can relate to those feelings of desperation and fear. I am, however, quite confident that your suspicions and hunches may well contain some accuracy. I mean to say that I trust in your intuition, and whatever the situation with these Warriors of Darkness may be, I would hold onto that thought, in case some use comes from it.

If they are caught up in something beyond them, I do feel for them. [ Being used or manipulated, even if that is not the case with these Warriors, is not a pleasant experience.

He may not know what manner of thoughts are stirring about in her mind, and so he cannot know what words to say to address them, but he can continue to offer comfort and solace. She is already pressed quite close against him, but the arm that is around her pulls her in, closing those last few inches that separate them. ]

Everything I need? What I need is having you here beside me for as long as you can remain. I would not ask for anything more than that. [ That, and her love, if she can give it to him. Even if she can't, how things have progressed this evening has caused him to realize that he loves her far more deeply than he realized. ]

That you consent to even be present with me at all, even in this very moment, means more to me than I can put into words. [ Perhaps he shouldn't interpret this moment as a sign that she loves him. It could be that all she wishes to do is offer him comfort, nothing more. But they have shared kisses and exchanged words that go beyond merely showing care and affection, or so he thinks. Could it be that he has misinterpreted everything that has happened between them?

His eyebrows draw together as he ponders this possibility. ]

You do not have to give me anything more than what you already have. And if our time together ends after this night, then these memories will become even more meaningful to me.

[shepherdtostars]

It is good council. [ She nods, planning to keep his words to heart.

While the so-called Warriors of Darkness may not be on their side? Surely they can come to some sort of understanding of each other's plight. It cannot be as simple as Warriors versus Warriors. Especially not when they clearly both mean to stop the formation of primals.

She is pressed closer to him and her ears perk up slightly in surprise. Mint green eyes open enough to be able to look at him through her bangs. Her heart beats faster at his words. Her mind almost wishes to rebel at what her heart is telling her. Surely, he cannot return her feelings. At least, perhaps not in the way her heart yearns for.

Something insider her hurts at the idea of moments like these becoming merely memories; something fond to look back at without being able to look forward to others. Her ears stand further on end as her eyes widen entirely. She practically shoots up beside him, the hand on his chest moving to cup the side of his face. ]

I would never ask to end our time together! [ Her tail practically stands on end with her eyebrows turning upwards. ] I don't wish for any of this to become only memories. How--how could I ask for more of this when I can barely be here as it is? How could I ask you to wait for me and put any prospects to the side?

[thewayforpeace]

[ He opens his mouth to say something else, but she surprises him with her sudden movement, and he stops when her hand moves to the side of his face. ]

I do not wish for this to become only a memory either. I would- [ His eyebrows draw together and for a moment, he closes his eyes as a swirl of emotions threatens to overtake him. Another moment passes and he finds his voice again. ] It matters not to me how often you are called away or how long you may be gone. I would wait a lifetime for you to return, and if I might be so bold, I would do this because you have become so very important to me.

[ He hesitates, because part of him feared that this was premature, that it would only cause her to turn away from him, but he has realized he needs her to know how he truly feels. ]

You do not need to ask me anything either, simply because I admire you greatly and even love you, if you will allow me to say that.

[ He sees no reason to withhold his feelings, but at the same time, he does not expect her to return them. ]

Because of that, I will wait for you and be present when your duties allow you to return.

[shepherdtostars]

[ Her expression remains unchanged as she watches his own. He has ever been one to be in calm control of his emotions; only a slight change of how his eyes narrow or his voice tremors when some true upset has happened. The feeling of wishing to curl up and hide underneath the covers. Her gaze drops until he speaks once again, causing her eyes to raise underneath her bangs and her ears to lift slightly.

She has no idea how what they both apparently so desire could work. Part of her scolds her for such idealistic wants and dreams. How could a relationship function if both are apart for so long? Though, those thoughts come to a fierce halt the moment he speaks the one word: love.

Her fingers trail along his cheek bone and his jaw. Her heart pounds in her chest as her mind attempts to wrap around the idea of him being in love with her. There is no reason to doubt given their closeness and the fact she now rests in his bed. Her tail shifts under the covers as her mind swirls with ways to answer his own feelings.

Perhaps it would feel underwhelming, but all she can think to do is lean down and kiss him. It is far from chaste or light, being an attempt at expressing her own feelings to him through action. ]

[thewayforpeace]

[ Perhaps it is his exhaustion finally surfacing, or the knowledge that he has done nothing but talk her ear off this entire evening, but when her wordless response comes, he rises to meet it without question. One hand moves to twine gently in her hair even as he leans into the kiss.

It seems as though they no longer have any need for words, because their actions speak quite clearly on their own. As for himself, he refuses to allow his thoughts to stray to the morning and how they will have to separate, each going to attend to their own respective duties.

Eventually, the hand that's in her hair travels to snake around her back so that he might pull her in even closer, not that there is much space between them anymore, but he suddenly feels the need to be as close to her as he can.

And when that first kiss ends, he's quick to replace it with another, for as long as she wishes or until she pulls away. If he falls asleep with his arms around her, well, it is quite a welcome change from sleeping alone as he has done for so long. ]

[shepherdtostars]

[ She would listen no matter how long he wished to speak. Even if that was into the long hours of the night and into the morning. While she would not presume, she does wonder if he has had anyone in recent years to speak so candidly with. Estinien had long since been on the roam for Nidhogg, and she is still uncertain of how close Lucia and Aymeric are outside of their working relationship.

Alkaid moves with his direction to close what little gap remains between them. Her breath catches quickly in order to meet his next kiss. She feels almost as if there lost time for them to make up for after their interruption before hand and long pause before they could be together on their own. There is the temptation to lean over him and swing her leg to his other side, but, perhaps he would not like such a thing... ]