Lᴜɴᴀꜰʀᴇʏᴀ Nᴏx Fʟᴇᴜʀᴇᴛ. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
guidingmoonlight) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
synthneon2021-05-27 07:39 pm
guidingmoonlight) wrote in synthneon2021-05-27 07:39 pm
Entry tags:
YGO PSL | ❝ you felt the gravity of tempered grace, falling into empty space. ❞
WAKING THE DRAGONS
( welcome to hurt/comfort the psl, where feels are here and the timeline doesn't matter! ♬ tone music )
[ There had been more than once when Lunafreya had questioned quietly why she remained in the orbit of the small band of duelists. The worry of the Egyptian Gods had concluded, and the Nameless Pharaoh able to not only contain but appease them. By conclusion of the event alone she should have said her goodbyes and moved onward. Yet, a feeling nagged in the back of her mind. One that insisted she stay with the small band in Japan. She always felt as if she imposed on anyone far too much if she acted outside of the realm of the Oracle.
What could she ever offer someone beyond that of her station?
Events escalated quickly as they seemed to with Yugi and the Pharaoh. A new enemy, a spirit monster that needed her aid to speak to them, promises made, and an ancient magic that stole souls of those that lost their battles. It was something she had never heard of -- the Power of Orichalcos. Gentiana had said it predated even her time in their reality... which simply made Lunafreya wonder what more help she could give to them. It was Gentiana that insisted they travel with the pair to the United States. Lunafreya after all spoke both languages and could easily aid them in where money might be a concern. She offered her aid, and yet, still felt as if she was an outsider looking in.
The price of being the Oracle is what she had always presumed.
Ravus had always insisted that she had become Oracle too young. It held her back from too much of life. The world could go without the aid of the Oracle long enough for her to have a life of her own. Lunafreya disagreed. It caused more than one argument that eventually led to the strained relationship the two of them had. One she felt might continue until he too was oddly supportive of the venture to America with Yugi and his friends. Perhaps he felt it was a way for her to have even the smallest fraction of life beyond her duty.
Not that any of it quite mattered the moment the group had returned from hunting down Rafael. Lunafreya had elected to stay with Téa and Rebecca; they would need protection should someone come for them. All she could do was stand by and watch the scene unfold as the strongest link in their group broke piece by piece. She wondered if it was obvious to the others that every time they mentioned "the other Yugi" or "get Yugi back" that a bit more of their Pharaoh seemed to wash away. She wished to interject and put a stop to their remarks, but, knew it would do little good. All of them were attempting to handle the shock and grief in their own ways.
She made sure their fare was covered to Flordia. The train ride then the plane ride that would be following it. Joey was over the moon, given their conversation with Kaiba had not been as supportive as they had hoped. Duke decided to stay back with Rebecca and her grandfather, leaving the rest of them to travel to themselves. Lunafreya sat beside Gentiana and simply listened to their conversations. Tristan and Joey attempted to carry on as normal, while Téa did her utmost to try and raise the spirits of their Pharaoh and distract him. It broke her heart to see their close group seemingly fall apart bit by bit. It hurt more to see the strongest of them all shut them out. She had even reached out to grab his sleeve as he had walked by on the train to leave them, but Gentiana had stopped her.
"A time and a place, Lady Lunafreya."
Arguments with the ancient spirit monster were futile and she knew that. Yet, Lunafreya had wanted to chastise her best friend for the first time. Those around her that had been entrusted in her care were hurting and she could do little to help. Gentiana, of course, seemed to know exactly what she was going to say. The colder hands held hers to reassure her.
The train ride was thankfully uneventful as was the ride to the hotel where they'd stay the night until the flight the next morning. With their things checked in, the group tried to fumble their way through the next plan. It was Joey who suddenly elected that he, Tristan and Téa would go to dinner and they would all meet up before their flight. Gentiana supported the notion, even agreeing to go with them. Lunafreya stood in place for a moment, then two, a she debated which path to take. While it was an obvious answer, the young woman had always had difficulty moving to her heart if it felt conflicted with that of her duty.
Lunafreya stops outside the door for the room set aside for Atem. She has dressed in clothing that might seem unusual to her, but, she would rather not bring attention to herself as they attempted to move eastward. She raises her hand to the door and knocks gently with her knuckles. ]
Heika?
[ It's such a formal way of speaking, but, she notices the tone she says it in now. There is an air of endearment, personal respect, and care to it. Almost more akin to a personal nickname than a title. ]
no subject
Still, both arms fall to his sides, and his gaze drops to stare at the still shaking ground in front of him. Even as Lunafreya removes the duel disk once more, he can still feel the disapproval and dismissal coming from the God cards, and the rage coming from Ra himself.
It's over, Lunafreya says, but he closes his eyes and shakes his head. ]
It isn't. [ This travesty of a duel might be, but that isn't what he means. ]
It can't be over until I get Yugi back and- [ And what? Seal his soul away forever instead of Yugi's? It's what he deserves, but would it be enough to make amends for what he's done? There are no answers to his questions, and he wouldn't put them on Lunafreya anyway.
Meanwhile, Kisara just looks at Kaiba, eyes wide, but she understands the meaning that he's left unsaid. She has always wanted to stand at his side, to be with him, and yes, to be his shield from harm. But she can also recognize that his strong independent streak runs deep, and so she nods. She'll fight alongside him and hope that this time, they won't be separated by anyone.
When he crosses the field, of course she follows, because their hands are still connected, and as they draw nearer to where Lunafreya and Atem are, Kisara finds her gaze drawn to the woman and the man both. She can sense great power from both of them, but where Lunafreya's power and light shines brightly, Atem's is diminished and dull.
Of course she doesn't have to look too closely to know that something has happened to him that devastated his spirit. It isn't how someone like him should be, but Kisara knows she's not the one with the ability to heal the damage he's carrying. The one who can do that is the woman next to him, if only he'll listen. She looks at Lunafreya with a sympathetic expression, knowing she may not notice it or be able to see it, but she knows only too well what that's like.
Atem, meanwhile, hears Kaiba's words, and inwardly, he admits that he's right. But he won't be able to do that until Yugi's soul has been restored, and he has no idea where to even begin. Now, though, he means to find that out; there must be someone who knows what happens to lost souls, and while a good deal of his determination has been snuffed out, he has just enough resolve left to want to try and find who that someone might be, if anyone.
Kisara leans against Kaiba as he begins to walk away, but she knows her time with him is short now that the duel has been concluded. Still, she intends to keep her hand in his until she finally vanishes from his sight again. Even then, she'll never really be far. ]
no subject
[ She wishes to hold him and shield him from all that might transpire from this point on. It is only the beginning of this battle, and already the man in her arms can barely stand. She wishes to comfort him, but knows that this is hardly the place to. No doubt it is harsh enough that his greatest rival has seen him in such a state - let alone the friends he most certainly sees as closer than her to him.
As Kaiba continues on, her gaze shifts up to the large white dragon that has surrounded him. She can sense a human heart within the great beast. It is... strange and not something she has seen before. The white dragon is not just the spirit monster that responds to Kaiba's soul, but, there is a deeper connection there. It reminds her of the connection Atem has to the Dark Magician and makes her frown slightly. There seems to be so much that surrounds these people that she will never fully grasp it. It may be a story she is not meant to know... let alone be apart of. The thought has crossed her mind more than once.
The sympathy rolls off the white dragon and all Lunafreya can do is nod in return. This great beast has decided to protect the man she curls around in a similar fashion to how she has decided to stay beside the Pharaoh. Why that is, Lunafreya cannot begin to question or even know without truly communicating with her... but now is not the time and it may never be the time.
The group passes Kaiba as they rush to them, only Joey and Tristan stopping to remark at the sight of the true Blue-Eyes White Dragon. Téa is the one with Gentiana that continues on to meet the two who are sitting. Lunafreya meets Téa's gaze long enough to look away, pressing down the sudden swell of feeling as if she is the outsider. Her hand in Atem's hair curls ever so slightly, but she brings no attention to the baffled, confused, and even hurt look on the other woman's face. ]
Yugi... [ Téa kneels down and reaches out to put her hand on his shoulder. ] It's okay. We'll find a way to get out of all this. We just need to stay together.
[ Lunafreya looks up to Gentiana then. The older woman with long raven hair simply shakes her head. There is little that can be done about the state of the Egyptian Gods. They and Atem will need to come to their own understanding of one another once again when he is ready. ]
Ousama will need to rest before we continue to travel. [ She eases into the formalities like a worn glove. There is no need to flaunt how she speaks privately with Atem to others. In fact, it is better that they have no idea. ] And, his deck--
--I've got cards Yug can borrow in the meantime. [ Joey steps over, hands in his pockets. ] Someone mind fillin' us in what the hell Kaiba was doin' here? I thought he wasn't helpin'.
[ Gentiana turns her head to look at the three that have joined them. ] He has decided to take his fight with his own terms to those that have started this. The Ancient Gods walk with him, as does the White Dragon.
[ Joey squints at her. ] You're not really blind, are you?
[ To that, Gentiana merely smiles and presses a finger to her lips.
Kaiba, on the other hand, stops only once Mokuba rushes up to him an d throws his arms around him. The hand not holding onto Kisara's raises and gently presses against Mokuba's head. Kaiba doesn't often show affection, but, Mokuba is the one that always brings it out in him in this modern world. There are mumbled worries and then a shock at seeing Blue-Eyes White Dragon around them... but, then, Mokuba seems oddly at peace with the idea, and really, not ultimately surprised. ]
Seto, you're arm...
[ Kaiba hums slightly in question, finally looking at the arm that holds the Duel Disk. His eyes widen only slightly to see blood running from underneath it. Mokuba wastes no time in removing the Disk to show off the very real and very raw burn marks that have festered. Marks from the Sun God himself. ]
no subject
He's still on the ground because he lacks the strength to stand, but his hands clench into fists as disgust at his own weakness rises up and threatens to choke him. He's heard Lunafreya's words and seen her resolute actions, expressing her determination to stand by him no matter what happens, but he's responded to her with nothing but weakness and an overall disgraceful display.
Then a thought occurs to him: which is worse, to have been an evil Pharaoh, or to have been a weak one? If this is how he handles the loss of one person, even one as dear to him as Yugi, then that hardly speaks to a strength of will. A truly strong individual doesn't collapse in the face of loss. The thoughts running through his mind suddenly cause him to recoil, pulling away from Lunafreya's touch; but then he startles when Téa places her hand on his shoulder.
He hears her words and the name she uses to call him, and that, more than anything, causes a swell of grief to rise up inside him. Of course, he knows that the last thing she meant was to hurt him, but he can't hear that name without being reminded of the gravity of his error. He bows his head, unable to look Lunafreya and Téa in the eye, and certainly not the others as they move to join them.
If only he knew his own name, because he isn't fit to share Yugi's name. And suddenly, despite his earlier resolve to put aside this weakness, he finds himself unable to cope with the waves of grief that crash down on him, stronger than ever. The voices around him fade into a dull unintelligible hum as he completely withdraws himself from the conversation.
Kisara, meanwhile, still has one eye on Lunafreya, even though most of her focus remains on Kaiba. There is something about the woman that draws her attention, but she can't put her finger on that any more than Lunafreya can about Kisara's decision to stand by Kaiba.
But when the younger Kaiba approaches, she turns her head to look at him. To him, it must appear as though he's being stared down by a great white dragon, but the human Kisara is looking at him with a smile that's quickly tinged with worry once she realizes that Kaiba's arm is bleeding.
But before she can move to do anything, she realizes that her time has finally run out and she's beginning to disappear. Oh, she'll return the next time Kaiba calls his beloved dragon to the field, but that doesn't make this any easier. Her grip on his hand tightens as though she intends to hold onto him for as long as she can.
At least burns can heal, and she knows he has Mokuba and others who can lend their assistance if he needs it. Of course, she would rather reach out and help him herself, but that is unfortunately impossible. ]
no subject
Perhaps it is not her place to act so bold after all.
Joey and Gentiana share a glance, being apparently the only two to notice the reaction. It is Gentiana that answers Joey's question of why Kaiba had appeared. The loss of the Egyptian God cards effects even the other duelist, but, Joey has learned to be his own sort of steadfast and resolute from Atem and Yugi. They'll find a way forward even without the God cards. They managed all of Duelist Kingdom without them, so, something like this has to be possible as well. Téa remains seated by Atem, hand on his shoulder, trying to pull the group together as she usually does. They have to make a decision on what to do next.
Lunafreya stands then, picking Atem's Duel Disk with her. She holds both it and the deck against her, turning to look at Joey and Tristan. It is not hard to see that Tristan will support the decisions that Joey makes, and that Joey will make a decision based upon needs as opposed to wants. ]
Someone will need to stay with Ousama while the rest travel to Flordia. He is in no condition to duel, let alone travel across the country. Not yet -- but we cannot allow this organization to continue what they are doing. Kaiba-sama has gone ahead with the Gods and that leaves us truly at a disadvantage, but, it is not one we cannot overcome. The choice lies with all of you.
I'll stay with him. [ Téa squeezes Atem's shoulder then. ] You're the Oracle, right? That means you need to go ahead with the others. You can fight with them and--
--Maybe that's the reason she should stay. [ Joey doesn't necessarily mean to cut her off or be rude about it in any fashion. His arms are crossed as he looks down in thought. ] You don't duel at this level, Téa. It's been a hobby for you. That's fine, but, if Yug is gonna stay behind? Someone needs to fight with him in case those soul stealin' bastards come back while we're split up. We're already packed and ready to go anyways.
Joey! We can't just split up. Not now, not after--
[ Joey looks Lunafreya in the eye. She nods and gives a deep bow, making sure to hold the disk and deck to her. ]
I got a feelin' Yug's got somethin' to do here. I don't know what that is, but, we gotta press ahead and give him the space to do it. [ He then leans down, hooking an arm under Atem and gently lifting him to his feet. He nods to Atem, even if his friend and mentor is unable to respond. ] Then, we'll meet back up when we're all on the same page.
[ Kaiba, meanwhile is dragged along by Mokuba back to the car. He isn't listening to the worried words that leave his younger brother's mouth about the burn and how they only have a basic first aid kit. His gaze has shifted back to Kisara. He feels her presence less - sees her light less. Even his modern mind that refuses to accept the magical world around him has noticed that her time has now run out.
His hand curls tightly around hers. Will it be her the next time he summons Blue-Eyes - or just the hologram of the picture on the card? He doesn't beg her to stay for Seto Kaiba is the sort to never beg. Instead, he intends to hold her gaze until she has truly been ripped away from this world once again.
Once this is over he's demanding answers from that woman. ]
[ Lunafreya avoids Téa's gaze as she sees them off at the front of the hotel later that afternoon. she cannot fault the other woman for being upset; for feeling as if she has been sidelined when she knows both the spirits housed in Yugi's body so much more than Lunafreya. Joey and Tristan swear that it hardly matters in the end, but, Lunafreya is aware that it is a matter of the heart and the heart rarely listens to logic. They enter the cab and she remains standing there until the cab is far from her vision.
She sighs and walks back inside the hotel, feeling the cold wind beside her as Gentiana falls in line beside her. She knows that it is a gentle reassurance that all have made the right decision, but, Lunafreya cannot help but feel she has stepped beyond what she should have. Especially has her hand curls once again as the familiar sting of rejection touches her. Regardless of it all, she raises her hand once more and knocks at Atem's door. If he wishes to be alone and be free of her presence... then she will oblige. She only wishes to check on him for the night. ]
no subject
He has no intention of saying that to her, because he doesn't wish to hurt her, but he knows that he feels drawn to Lunafreya.
It isn't until Joey gently takes him by the arm and lifts him to his feet that Atem becomes aware of the conversation going on around him. Not for the first time, Joey's strength and ability to step up when it counts puts him to shame.
He remains standing, but only barely, so Joey has to keep one hand on him in order to keep him that way.
Eventually, however, the group goes their separate ways, with Joey leading the rest of them to the airport and Lunafreya and Atem remaining at the hotel. Atem remains in his room while Lunafreya sees them off, and by the time she returns, it's already beginning to grow dark outside.
Still, it isn't as dark as the inside of Atem's room; he only has one small light turned on, a desk lamp. Somehow, the gloom of the room seems to reflect the darkness that he knows is in his heart, despite his best efforts to keep it at bay and to even dispel it completely.
When he hears the knock at the door, he rises automatically and crosses over to it, hand pausing just over the handle. The do not disturb sign provided by the hotel is hanging on the outside of the door, so he's reasonably certain it won't be anyone from the hotel, and now that Joey and the others have departed, there's only two people who might come to see him. Perhaps they even came together, for reasons he could only begin to guess at; Gentiana seems to follow Lunafreya either close behind or at a slight distance. If she did, he wouldn't begrudge her presence.
But he's kept Lunafreya waiting at the door long enough, so even though a small part of him would rather keep that door closed to the outside world, he pushes down that instinct and pulls the door open instead. He looks to see who might be standing there, knowing that it's most likely the one who's been standing by his side this whole time. He knows that, even in the dim light of the room's interior, she'll see his haunted appearance, guilt and exhaustion reflecting in his eyes, but all his masks of resolve and strength have faded away, leaving him with no way to hide. It doesn't matter anyway, because she seems to be able to see right through him no matter how hard he tries to prevent that.
And by now, even he knows that he can't keep this up for very much longer, but for him, sleep represents another nightmare that he's not certain he has the strength to face.
For now, though, he simply steps to the side to allow her to enter. Her arrival hopefully allows him to put off the action of sleep for a little while longer. ]
no subject
Lunafreya's hand stills as she hears the door handle turns. Surprise takes her face. She had figured she would need to let herself in as she had previously. Her mouth opens to ask him a simple question - Do you need anything for the night? Yet, the question stills in her throat as Atem steps to the side to let her in. Given the previous night and the reaction after the duel, Lunafreya presumed that he would wish to block out the world still. There is only a split moment of hesitation before she feels the cold tips of Gentiana's fingers pushing her past the threshold of the room.
Gentiana then turns her head to look at Atem. For the first time, her eyes open to reveal a beautiful amber color. She smiles and bows before taking her leave.
The air warms the moment Gentiana leaves their view.
Lunafreya steps out of the way so the door might close. She takes note of the Duel Disk and deck back on the illuminated desk, just as where she had left them after the events of the morning. Her shawl also remains where Kaiba brushed it to the side. The curtains remain shut. It is a very loud projection of what rests inside the Pharaoh's mind... and she is uncertain what steps to take.
Should she handle this as the Oracle... or as her? Which does he prefer? Her hands fold together and curl tightly. It is the only sign of her own inward debate as she remains still and her own mask on her face. ]
I... had wondered if there was anything you needed that I might be able to aid you with. [ Formalities return, her posture proper. She finally looks down at Atem and holds back the urge to put her hands on his shoulders. ] It is still not too late to order dinner... or if you needed something else...
no subject
As Lunafreya enters the room, gently pushed forward by Gentiana, Atem keeps his gaze lowered until he feels the dark-haired woman's own gaze resting on him. Then he looks up to meet those eyes that, when opened, are nothing short of striking. Before he can say anything, however, she bows and then she turns and departs, leaving Atem staring at the space where she once stood. Then, he turns to look at Lunafreya once more, feeling hesitant about what he should do or say now that it's just the two of them again.
How should he handle this? Can he even handle it? He knows he owes her a great many apologies for his actions, because even though he couldn't recognize it at the time, when he looks back, he can see how the times he pulled away from her left marks. Although she never said anything, even when he told her that perhaps her focus should be on other priorities, he knew that those words didn't fall lightly. He never meant to cause her hurt, but it seems that that's exactly what he's done.
When she speaks, he pulls himself out of his own thoughts, because she at least deserves that consideration. ]
No, there's nothing that I need. [ Nothing that he deserves, even. But he won't be giving voice to that thought. ] If you need to order something, please feel free. [ She doesn't need his permission, but he'd rather her see to her own needs and not worry about his. ]
I'll- [ He hesitates for a moment, but he knows that he can say these words and not have them be a complete lie. ] I'll be all right.
[ He has to be. Regardless of the inner turmoil that remains inside him, he has to pick up the pieces now and begin to move forward. It will be difficult, because his will to fight is all but lost, but he knows he must look inside himself to find what little strength remains. He can't allow himself to keep making excuses or to continue sitting around and letting his guilt and despair suffocate him.
It remains to be seen if he can be successful in this endeavor or not. ]
no subject
She will insist that there is no need to apologize. He was in a state of such despair that he was almost not in his right mind. She can bare the injuries for his sake of healing. Yet, watching him now, she has to wonder if the deep well of loneliness has eased at all. She is far from a substitute for Yugi or his friends. His Gods have even abandoned him. Yet, Kaiba's words have sparked something inside him, and all Lunafreya can feel is that perhaps it is the Oracle that the Pharaoh needs. Everyone else has aided him where she feels she has been unable to.
She kneels down in front of him at his answer. Her hands almost lift to take his once again, but, instead they remain in her lap. That does not stop her from locking her gaze onto his.
What name should she address him by? Would he even want to hear a formal title? She feels uncertain where as the night before she was confident. ]
I understand that none of this has been easy. All of it is far from kind. [ Her eyebrows raise slightly and she clamps her hands down to keep from reaching out to him. ] However... regardless of circumstances, you are the one left in charge of this body. You must eat, sleep, and at least shower to be able to keep it healthy in the absence of your partner.
[ She has seen the result of speaking Yugi's name and dares not repeat it. Not when he is speaking and moving around of his own choice for the moment.]
If food is unappealing now, then we will wait until breakfast. The other two, however, you must attend to tonight. Sleep may not come easy, but the body needs to at least rest. Even for a short while.
no subject
But for the moment, he says none of that. Perhaps he might, if the moment presents itself. It seems as though he has a lot of things that he feels he needs to say; it is only finding the opportune moment to say them.
When she kneels in front of him, he raises his head just slightly so that their eyes meet. His hands move almost automatically, as if they know something their owner doesn't: that they want to be linked with Lunafreya's, as they were just the previous night. But she doesn't move to complete the action, and their two hands remain unconnected. ]
It hasn't been easy, but I know that it can't have been easy for you as well.
[ A cloud descends on his face, turning his eyes hollow for just a moment, but then that moment passes and when he looks at her again, almost nothing appears out of the ordinary. ]
You stood by and watched as I became lost... In my own despair. [ To him, it feels as though he has to fight for every word that he speaks. Nothing is coming naturally or easily to him, and he's hardly conveying every sentiment that he so sincerely wishes to.
And for reasons that he only understands too well, Lunafreya seems to be holding herself back from him. It only makes sense; how many times did he recoil from her, reject her when she tried to reach out to him? Even someone as forgiving and patient as her surely has her limits, and it seems as though she's reached hers. That realization hits him harder than he thought he would, but like everything else that's happened to him recently, it's only the consequence of his actions, and he has very little right to be troubled by it. ]
You're right, of course. [ The words come automatically, almost in a dull sort of monotone with none of his usual cadence or vigor present in them.
He has no desire for food, knowing that it'll only turn to the taste of ash in his mouth, but regardless, the fact remains that she is right. ]
Have you eaten yet? [ It's only then that it hits him why something about this conversation feels strange; he's so accustomed to only being present when a duel is happening, and things like calling attacks and placing spell cards just roll off his tongue as though he's done them a hundred times over.
Making conversation like this, even just to ask if Lunafreya has also seen to her needs, feels foreign to him. But he can hardly force himself to find sustenance if she hasn't done so herself. ]
no subject
Her shoulders sink and a sigh escapes her then. Her eyes close and she allows the mask of the Oracle to slip away. Still dressed in clothes that one would not think fit the woman of grace and light that Atem so described her in, she looks far more like a normal girl than one that carries a mantle as important as hers. Lunafreya opens her eyes again to meet his, letting the exhaustion shine through for only a moment. If he wishes to connect then she will more than gladly do so.
The tightly clasped hands unfold and raise to grasp onto his. She raises their joined hands to rest against her heart. She wonders if anything she had said or offered the night before still resonates with him. Has he remembered any of it, or, was it swept away by his own despair and the beating wings of the Sun God? ]
No, my dear Pharaoh, it isn't easy. [ She lets the formalities drop for now. Will he respond better to Luna, or the Oracle? ] The life of the Oracle is one of constant trial and hardship. However, if I stop, then those that linger near or in darkness remain there. They suffer, they lose themselves, and all of us lose what blessings they bring to us.
[ One hand uncurls from his to reach out to him. Her thumb brushes along his chin. A brief and rather intimate gesture, one that she wishes to do, although a small sense of dread fills her. What if he pulls away again? ]
I'm not here to be told I'm right or that you're wrong. There is no need to say anything like that. [ She shakes her head. ] I'm here to support you; to heal whatever wounds you will allow me to. I'm here to give council and aid to a King, as many of my ancestors have in the past.
[ The one hand clasped around his still squeezes gently. ] And I'm here because I wish to be. Your friends have been more than welcoming, and understanding, but... [ her gaze drops just a hint as she frowns. Her eyebrows knit together as her heart gives a painful thump. ] I have been, and always will be, an outsider to the world they inhabit. Their world is filled with stakes and dangers, yes, but it is only a casual visitor to magic and all that it entails. My life is nothing but magic and the way it twists and turns between two worlds--a world that many will never see or know exists. Out of any in this small group of duelists... you are the one that I feel as if I'm not an outsider to.
Maybe I am, and I have just convinced myself otherwise--[ Lunafreya stops herself then. Her eyes close and she lowers her head in shame. He is far from being in a place to handle his own thoughts and state of mind; let alone be burdened by hers. Still, she keeps her hand on his face and the other wrapped around his. ]--I'm sorry. It's far from important right now.
No. I haven't eaten at all today.
no subject
The thought occurs to him once more that he's undeserving of such attention, but although it takes monumental effort, he pushes that thought away even as his hands reach for hers.
It is incredibly difficult for him to look back on the events of the other night without feeling no small amount of shame for how thoroughly he fell apart. He can still feel the sting of tears on his face and the stabbing pain in his heart; but he can also feel Lunafreya's hands resting on either side of his face and the comfort that her presence brought, whether or not he was able to feel it at that time. ]
Why do you call me that, even now? I don't know who that man was or even what he did, and until I do, I do not have the right to bear that title. [ It isn't his title to renounce, either, but he feels as though he can't hold onto it when he has no recollection of ever being that man.
As she begins speaking about the Oracle and the life that that role brings, he tries to follow along with her train of thought. His initial instinct is telling him that she's saying this only to gently let him know that she cannot afford to stop her duties, or even to pause them, for his sake.
You are being a distraction, the voice in his head says. Because of you, others remain in danger.
But the other, more optimistic voice, the one with more faith in him, the Nameless Pharaoh, and her, the Oracle, speaks louder than the other: You still have blessings to give, if only you can see that once again.
The push and pull that threatened to tear him apart the previous night returns, as his very soul fights to throw off his darker side and the thoughts that come with it. Even in the midst of that fight, he feels her brush her thumb against his chin, and he latches onto that as a child would latch onto their mother. He isn't a child, and she isn't his mother, but he is so tired from the fight going on within him that he feels no shame in leaning into her touch.
Pulling away from her is the very last thing he intends to do at this moment. He can't find the right words to respond to her statement about what she's not here to do or be told. Neither can he verbalize how her words about support, healing, and aid cover his damaged soul with a special sort of healing balm. It may take a very long time for the damage to heal completely, but it seems as though healing has begun.
And since his words and any semblance of eloquence are failing him right now, he chooses to focus on her last two statements because the answers to them are simple, and because he can do something about them. ]
As long as I am around- [ And Yugi too, once they've reclaimed his soul... He seemed to accept Lunafreya's presence in their life, just as Atem had. ] You'll never be an outsider among us.
[ She may notice that he speaks those words with more certainty than he has in a day or more, and that's because he truly believes that to be an inarguable fact.
Truthfully, she could easily find a place for herself because she actually belongs in this world, unlike himself, who comes from another time and place. But by that same notion, they can both find a place for themselves as two individuals who have experiences that set them apart. ]
Now... [ He is far from feeling like himself again, and the usual confidence that is clear in his voice is still absent, but he thinks he can at least manage this relatively simple task. ]
You- [ He stops, correcting himself. ] We should find somewhere that we can eat.
[ Never mind that he isn't truly comfortable with just walking into a restaurant or even a grocery store. But they have to do something, so he tries to tell himself that even he can fumble blindly through something like that. ]
no subject
She can tell the battle that rages inside him by the look in his eyes. The way that even the faintest level of confidence disappears and reappears like a candle flickering in the wind. All she can do is offer to be a weight to hold him down as he attempts to decide what side of him will win. Only he can decide the sort of man that he will be going forward. She will not sway his decision either way; it is his alone to make.
His statement of certainty makes her smile, but it does not quite reach the edges of her mouth. She will not be an outsider to him or Yugi, but she can tell the chasm that remains with the others. Joey does his best to bridge it, but even she can tell he is unsure of how to approach her. Téa may well never accept her as Lunafreya is the other woman. It is something Lunafreya understands well and cannot argue with. She appeared out of nowhere in their lives, inserted herself in their circle, and drew closer to the soul that Téa is attracted to. It is natural to feel threatened in that regard. It, however, just puts a note in the back of Lunafreya's mind that she may never truly belong to their group.
Not that the Oracle truly belongs anywhere.
Lunafreya removes her hand from his long enough to pull the phone from her back pocket and turning the screen on. The notice of the flight they were originally intending to be on moves to the top of the list. It seems that they have taken off with no issues. ]
We can order something and have it delivered here. [ If she were to be honest? She is far too exhausted to walk among the town looking for something--and she has the feeling the man in front of her is as well. No, he is far more exhausted than her. There is no need to tax him more than needed.
However, she sets the phone down and turns her attention back to Atem. He had asked her a question. One that she had felt it was best to address after the other matters. She finds herself back at the crossroads of which words to use. At least, this time, he is responding to some of them, but she still firmly believes that action will speak louder to him.
Both hands move to gently hold his face in them once again. She has noticed it gently forces his attention to her - both actions and words. Her thumbs brush over his cheeks as she tries to find the right words once again. ]
You may not have the memories of the man you were when you bore the title, but, I'm certain deep down you know it is who you are. It is a truth of who and what you are. Just as I am, and will always be, the Oracle for this time... you are, and always be, a king. One that I believe will rise and conquer any challenge even if winning seems impossible.
[ She presses her forehead to his. ]
And if that is something you can't remember amidst this storm? I will remind you. Even if it takes a thousand times of saying it again and again for you to remember.
[ However, she is certain that those words will not resonate with him. It may be something he listens to, but is he truly of the mind to hear them? Lunafreya doubts this, given all that has happened thus far. She gives him a gentle smile then. One that is filled with trust, faith, belief, and above all else love.
Even if he does not return the feelings the same way, she wishes to make hers crystal clear then.
Her head tilts by only a fraction -- enough to gently press her lips to his. ]
no subject
Now, if only he can manage to give even a fraction of the love she's shown him thus far back to her.
But then, that voice that mocks him interrupts yet again: You? Love her? You don't even know how to ask forgiveness for everything you've broken. How could you even hope to love anyone?
He's already been cut open and left bleeding, but these latest cruel words, conjured up by his own mind, serve to only widen the open wounds. As the weight of the criticism falls down on him, he tightens the hold he has on Lunafreya's hand, as if holding onto her will give him the strength to silence the cutting insults being thrown at him now.
When will enough be enough? Yes, he knows that he has made a grave error, but surely he doesn't deserve to be cut down by his own conscience. It takes a colossal effort on his part to pull himself out of his own mind and put himself back in the present. Perhaps it's good that Lunafreya made the suggestion that they simply have something delivered to the room rather than going out.
Both of them are in no condition to walk the streets of the town in search of food, and even if bone-deep exhaustion wasn't a thing they were both contending with, what little strength Atem has is being drained dry by the war being fought inside him. ]
All right. [ And oddly enough, that's when another thought, innocuous this time, springs to mind. Yugi or his grandfather always handled things relating to money, but even though he's reasonably sure there's a few folded up bills in his pocket, that won't be much use here, what with the differences in currency. Not that Atem himself is an expert about that. ] How will it be paid for?
[ It feels like such a strange question to ask, when compared to the gravity of the other aspect of their conversation, but he doesn't want to be any more indebted to Lunafreya than he already is. She's given enough of herself and her time to him already, and it seems as though the road before them is still a long one.
He opens his mouth to say something, to make some sort of comment about her willingness to stay with him and her fervent belief in him, a belief that he can't quite echo right now. But he doesn't manage to even form the words before her lips are pressing against his, and his eyebrows briefly lift in surprise.
It's short-lived, however, and soon enough, as if his (well, Yugi's) body has a mind of its own and he's returning the kiss without a second of hesitation. He doesn't know what he ought to be doing, but it seems as though he needed worry: instinct has taken over, and he's just kissing her back as if this is something he's wanted to do for a very long time. And maybe it is; he just hasn't realized that yet. ]
no subject
An evil Pharaoh would not have stood up against Marik. He would not be thoughtful to the body he inhabits. He would have grasped for power at any chance and use then all to his machinations. Instead he is kind, he puts his partner before him, and even took even an ounce of his time to know her. He is far from an evil Pharaoh... an arrogant one, as most kings are, but not heartless.
She had expected him to stand still and be unwilling (or unable) to return her small token of emotions. In fact, she had braced herself for a rejection or even dismissal. His surprise is met by hers, but quickly washed away. It is hardly as if she knows what to do -- he is the first person she has ever kissed in such a way.
It is only after a moment or two does she break the exchange. Her forehead still rests against his, fingers brushing against his skin ever so lightly. A genuine smile spreads across her face even as her eyes remain closed. ]
I will cover any expenses that we may need. You need only focus on moving forward. [ Part of her is content to merely sit like this for the rest of the night. Perhaps once they've eaten. ] What is your favorite thing to eat?
no subject
If it was up to him, he would put in much more than an ounce of time into getting to know her. She seems to hold herself on equal footing with him, and yet the way she speaks to him denotes a very clear, very particular sort of respect. Part of him can't understand why, when he believes that her duties as Oracle far outweigh anything he might have done as Pharaoh. Pharaohs are hardly a rarity, given how far back the ruling line seems to extend, but Oracles are far more rare and therefore precious.
Because of that, it's difficult for him to imagine why she might love him, but then again, he's hardly an expert on the matter, or why people fall for the ones that they do.
If she hardly knows what to do, then neither does he. He supposes that it could be possible he was romantically linked to someone in his time as Pharaoh, but that hardly does him any good now. Eventually, the kiss ends, but she stays nearby, forehead lightly resting against his.
He mulls over her question, not really knowing how to answer that. In most cases, while Yugi was seeing to meeting the typical needs of any human, mostly eating and sleeping, Atem lingered inside the Puzzle, waiting for the next time that he was needed. He never attributed anything to that, because it just was the normal course of events for the two of them. As a spirit, he has no real need for sleep nor sustenance, so her question leaves him at a bit of a loss for words. ]
I don't know. I suppose I never put much thought into it before.
[ But just because he doesn't know doesn't mean the same is true for her. ]
What is yours?
no subject
His answer surprises her. That must be evident as she pulls back enough to look at him properly, eyebrows raised. She is, of course, aware that any memories he might have had about his person are gone. If they are locked away or erased is the thing she lacks the details of. She has never wanted to press further than what Atem or Yugi were willing to share.
She settles on what to do then in light of such information. Lunafreya shifts to sit on the floor, back against the desk, with the lit lamp overhead. Her hands move from his face, one taking his to guide him to sit up against her, and the other picking up her phone. With a few motions of her fingers she has brought up a list of all that might deliver in the area. ]
Sweets. [ Yes, it is obvious to her that it is not entirely a food in terms of meals. ] Although that is very broad. I have always loved the Ulwaat Pastries that my family has made. It's made from berries that originated from my ancestral home, just as my family's flower has. My grandmother managed to grow a small garden of the berries used to make it after she had fled to England...
[ She pauses then, realizing that is perhaps far too much information. Lunafreya smiles shyly then. It is hardly the time to talk of her family history or traditions passed down from it. Although, outside of when she first met Yugi, she has always told herself it is never the time for it.
Her hand holds the phone between them. She nods to it then, ready to scroll through their options. ]
Tell me when there is something you want to try. We'll order that.
no subject
It isn't quite the same thing as the role Lunafreya has taken on, to serve any and all who need assistance. Of course, at the moment, he's hardly in a position to help himself, let alone others, but that desire is still within him. It's just been buried beneath a layer of despair that he's trying to shake off.
On occasion, he finds himself experiencing strange sensations, like a hint of memory, but whenever he tries to focus in on that, it vanishes as quickly as it came. It seems as though those sensations might be remnants of his past life, but he can never identify them with any clarity. In any case, whether or not his memories are gone or simply sealed away, there's very little he can do to access them regardless.
He looks briefly in the direction of her phone's screen, but the information on the display is not nearly as interesting to him as what she's talking about right now. ]
I see. [ He still is having difficulty visualizing what she's talking about, but there's an easy enough fix for that. ] Can you tell me a little more about your grandmother and these pastries? [ He knows it's a strange thought to have, but in more ways than one, there's a lot that he doesn't know that he'd like to learn about, even something as seemingly mundane as Lunafreya's favorite pastry.
For him, it most certainly isn't too much information. In fact, if she wanted to talk more about her family and their traditions, he'd listen with rapt attention. He hopes that his question is enough to signify to her that he truly does want to hear more. ]
Of course.
[ He eyes the phone screen with a tentative sort of curiosity, also ready to see what options are available. He knows he's already shown more life in this conversation so far than he has in recent days, but he's not quite back to normal either. He just hopes that she'll continue being as patient with him as she has been up till now. ]
no subject
It is almost poetic sitting underneath the one light in the darkened room; speaking of lighter things that do not pertain to the trauma of the last few days. A lit torch inside a darkened tomb. Except there are no stone walls, hieroglyphics or curses. Just the two of them looking for dinner. Somehow, amid the darkness and the feelings of the world collapsing, the two have found a brief flicker of reprieve. ]
It's something like a tart. There is a berry filling inside the dough, with sugar on the top. My grandmother spoke often of making it with her mother and grandmother, but, I'm unsure of how far back the recipe goes. [ It seems timeless like all things of her family. she continues to scroll slowly on the phone, waiting for something to catch his eye. ] My grandmother was more or less smuggled out of Greece after the end of the First Great War. The monarchies of Europe had all but collapsed as new systems of government took over. They offered her safe harbor in England. I suppose it must be unsurprising as the few remaining monarchs did know what her true status was. However, she had to marry into the English aristocracy. My grandfather already had a fondness for history and an appreciation for preservation. I was told he leapt at the chance to give her shelter and... one thing led to another.
My mother was their only child. My grandmother passed when my mother was an adult, and eventually she took up the mantle of Oracle. She had already met my father by that point, and Ravus followed a few years after she had been made Oracle.
[ She pauses then, looking at him with just a hint of her playfulness returning. The hand that hold his unfolds long enough so that her fingers can slide between his again. She would say it is testing his reaction, but, something tells her he would grab hold of any chance to feel anything. ]
I could make it for you sometime.
no subject
A tart. [ He echoes the words, forming an image of what he thinks the sweet she's describing must look like. ] I would like to try it someday, if- If you're willing to make it. [ Part of him knows she's already made the offer, but he's still thinking about her duties and responsibilities that don't include making desserts for other people. Still, it's her choice, so he doesn't bother giving voice to that.
As she continues recounting her family's history and how her grandmother came to England, Atem listens intently, doing his best to follow along. He's more or less understanding how events unfolded, but if a visible symbol of his thoughts could magically appear above him, it would take the form of a fairly sizable question mark. ]
Your grandmother sounds quite brave and also resilient. It must have been hard for her to adapt to so much change in such a short period of time. [ Atem hasn't noticed it, but that monotone that had been present in his voice earlier has begun to slowly recede as he responds to Lunafreya's retelling of her history. It isn't entirely gone, however, and some hesitation hinting at a deep-seated desire to curl back in on himself can still be heard in his words and seen in his posture. But he manages to press on anyway. ]
It seems to me that resilience must be a family trait that has been passed down. [ To you, he wants to add. And then he finds himself wishing that he had half of her strength, because she strikes him as one who does not crumble so easily in the face of difficulty.
He returns her gaze, something like a smile trying to break through the lingering storm clouds, even though it doesn't quite manage it. It's true that he's desperate for physical contact, for the chance to feel something other than suffocating despair. So when her fingers slip between his, they clasp onto her hand tightly as if to say that their owner never wishes to let go again. ]
no subject
Yet, sitting under the lamp of the dark room, and having met those that she has? She finds herself coming to a full understanding of what her brother meant all those years ago. He had said so many times she knew not what she was giving up by accepting the calling so early. Ravus had the benefit of knowing both of their parents in his younger years, and in a way, had an insight that she never did. He saw their mother live as a woman outside her calling - an example that she did not have. Now, it quietly dawns on her, and her expression falls ever so slightly. Friends are something that can be maintained, but, a relationship to center her and remind her who she is beyond the title and calling? She had never expected to want such a thing. Of course, it is presumptuous to think that the spirit of the Millennium Puzzle would want such a thing. These small notions and movements of affection may very well be unneeded or even unwanted once he can stand on his own again.
Her hand returns the strong gesture, palm pressing against his to ask something she can hardly vocalize. She rests her head atop of his and the smile fades from her face entirely then. Exhaustion, longing, and something so incredibly vulnerable takes her expression. ]
One might argue that one's experience could be whittled down to how well they adapt to anything.
[ Her voice is softer then. Resilient? Perhaps. She presses down on the phone's screen to pull up the menu. She moves to her the gallery, scrolling through a few pictures of Pryna and Umbra in various places around Domino City before she settles on a picture of the pastry in question. ]
Here, this is what it looks like when it is fully baked.
no subject
In a way, Lunafreya and Atem aren't so different after all. They've both had their losses and they accepted their respective mantles at relatively young ages. Atem can't remember what led to his being sealed inside the Millennium Puzzle, but whether he knows it or not, both of them have had to make significant sacrifices along the way.
As far as what he might want from her and from this budding relationship, he's just barely started to work that out. One thing that he knows, however, is that he wants to just be at her side if she'll allow him to. It may not make sense, given the fact that his memories are sealed away, but sense or no sense, it feels as though he can be himself around her, not having to worry about the next big threat or about what sort of man he was all those years ago.
And that, more than anything, is what he wants: the chance to just be who he wants to be, and to have someone to stand alongside him who also never really got that chance, even if it was of her own volition.
For a moment, he just leans against her carefully, so as to not knock her over or anything like that; but this closeness between them is comforting and he's reluctant for the moment to end. ]
That argument seems to only prove my point, and to confirm what I know about you. [ As far as he can tell, she has adapted very well to everything that she has gone through. Looking at himself, he feels as though he can't say the same. It's then that exhaustion and some small amount of shame creeps back into his expression, but he tries his best to hide it from her beneath a poor imitation of his usual stoic mask.
He peers closer at the picture of the pastry on her phone, and in spite of himself, a small smile breaks through. ]
I can see why it is your favorite. It must taste even better than it looks.
[ At least, if he tries hard enough, he can imagine what he thinks it must taste like. ]
no subject
She is far from unaware of the hurdles having anything more than a friendship with Atem might have. The fact that he shares a body with someone else is quite obviously the main one. She would never force Yugi or Atem to do anything -- let alone ask for time with one over the other. Anything resembling a normal relationship is impossible, but, Lunafreya had already decided ages ago that her duty would come first. Ravus could continue the family line and she would continue as her role of Oracle. Therefore, the usual aspects of any potential relationship with Atem hardly matters to her.
As long as he allows her to stay at his side, it will be more than enough. He is always welcome to be at her side -- if that is what he chooses. ]
Then, once all of this has concluded, I'll see to making it for you.
[ It has been sometime since she made the sweet pastry. Pryna and Umbra certainly would not disagree to a mess in the kitchen.
She straightens herself to hold his weight properly. Then, it is back to the menu options. Once he has found something that looks remotely interesting -- if not something he would want to try -- she places the order. Forty minutes. Well, it is better than nothing.
Lunafreya places the phone on the desk above them. She elegantly turns to face him then, one arm stretched out over his legs to support her weight. However, she wants to look in his eyes to measure his reaction... as well as hold onto his hand as long as possible. ]
While we wait, you should attend to your other needs. The suitcases were delivered to the rooms, so you should see to bathing and dressing. I'll need to fetch my own things from the other room.
[ As she believes it is rather obvious that she will be staying in his room now. ]
They'll most likely deliver the food to the front desk, so, I'll gather that with the rest of my things.
no subject
And yes, he too is aware of the difficulties that might arise if the two of them entered into anything more than a close friendship. He maintains that he has no right to ask anything of her, or at least, anything more than what he already has. But if he might have her friendship and her companionship, that's more than enough. ]
Thank you... Luna. [ He realizes then that, at least to his own ears, he sounds more sincere and grateful than he has in recent days. Still, it's hard to be grateful and to speak with any sort of sincerity when reeling from a devastating loss.
Once the decision about what they'll eat has been made, he sits back and waits for some prompting about what they should do next. He knows he should be capable of making decisions and taking action, but that decisive nature of his has faded into a more passive state of mind.
When she suggests that they use the time they have waiting to see to things such as her gathering her belongings and him cleaning himself up after a long day, he merely nods. It hasn't occurred to him yet that he'll have to navigate things like the shower, but if he can learn to use a duel disk, a shower should be simple. ]
All right. [ He finally replies, but he's clearly not in any hurry to disengage his hand from hers. But if they don't, then surely the food will arrive and neither of them will be ready. ]
I suppose that we should start, then. [ He reluctantly removes his hand from her grasp, missing the feel of her hand in his almost immediately. ] Are you ready?
[ He hasn't stood up yet, not wanting to dislodge her if she's not ready, but they'll have to move soon enough. ]
no subject
[ She truly means that as well. While she is aware it is a show of gratitude and faith, she does not want him to feel indebted to her. It is not done out of a need to serve him. That is her duty, but, she gives this freely and out of love. Unconditional love and something deeper. One she does not want to give voice to in fear that he might pull away again back into that storm that still swirls around him.
Even if the use of her shortened name makes her smile.
His inability to make a decision or do much more than be told what to do shows how much farther they have to go. It is still more than he was capable of the night before... but, it certainly cements in her mind he is not ready to face the organization that has stolen his partner's soul. At least now he will move and speak to her. She wonders how much of that is because of Kaiba's duel... or the fact that the God Cards are no longer whispering their anger in his ears. Lunafreya doubts that she has aided him as much as the other two factors have. ]
If I am to be entirely honest... no. I'm not.
[ Lunafreya leans forward again, resting her forehead against his again. She nearly kisses him again but holds back by a fraction. They do need to move and set things in motion. This - them - can come later once he has taken care of himself and they have eaten. At the moment he needs the Oracle to guide him along the path; even if all Lunafreya wishes to do is simply be with him. ]
Are you?
no subject
Yes, I believe I do. I- [ He's still having to hunt around for the right words to say, and even then, what he says feels uncomfortable and stilted, but if he can even say a fraction of what he feels, then that's better than nothing. ]
You've done nothing but try and help me, and you're still trying to help me.
[ Why? That inner voice asks that, and he very nearly echoes it aloud, just barely managing to suppress it at the last second. ]
I owe you a great debt, Luna. [ He does feel indebted to her, and if he can repay her kindness in any way, he's going to try. ]
But no, I'm not ready either. [ And surprising even himself and going against his earlier resolution to wait, he suddenly finds himself closing what little distance remains between them so that he can brush his lips against her cheek. ]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
just doing the timeskip thing
/rolls with it
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)