YGO PSL | ❝ you felt the gravity of tempered grace, falling into empty space. ❞

[guidingmoonlight]

WAKING THE DRAGONS

( welcome to hurt/comfort the psl, where feels are here and the timeline doesn't matter! ♬ tone music )

[ There had been more than once when Lunafreya had questioned quietly why she remained in the orbit of the small band of duelists. The worry of the Egyptian Gods had concluded, and the Nameless Pharaoh able to not only contain but appease them. By conclusion of the event alone she should have said her goodbyes and moved onward. Yet, a feeling nagged in the back of her mind. One that insisted she stay with the small band in Japan. She always felt as if she imposed on anyone far too much if she acted outside of the realm of the Oracle.

What could she ever offer someone beyond that of her station?

Events escalated quickly as they seemed to with Yugi and the Pharaoh. A new enemy, a spirit monster that needed her aid to speak to them, promises made, and an ancient magic that stole souls of those that lost their battles. It was something she had never heard of -- the Power of Orichalcos. Gentiana had said it predated even her time in their reality... which simply made Lunafreya wonder what more help she could give to them. It was Gentiana that insisted they travel with the pair to the United States. Lunafreya after all spoke both languages and could easily aid them in where money might be a concern. She offered her aid, and yet, still felt as if she was an outsider looking in.

The price of being the Oracle is what she had always presumed.

Ravus had always insisted that she had become Oracle too young. It held her back from too much of life. The world could go without the aid of the Oracle long enough for her to have a life of her own. Lunafreya disagreed. It caused more than one argument that eventually led to the strained relationship the two of them had. One she felt might continue until he too was oddly supportive of the venture to America with Yugi and his friends. Perhaps he felt it was a way for her to have even the smallest fraction of life beyond her duty.

Not that any of it quite mattered the moment the group had returned from hunting down Rafael. Lunafreya had elected to stay with Téa and Rebecca; they would need protection should someone come for them. All she could do was stand by and watch the scene unfold as the strongest link in their group broke piece by piece. She wondered if it was obvious to the others that every time they mentioned "the other Yugi" or "get Yugi back" that a bit more of their Pharaoh seemed to wash away. She wished to interject and put a stop to their remarks, but, knew it would do little good. All of them were attempting to handle the shock and grief in their own ways.

She made sure their fare was covered to Flordia. The train ride then the plane ride that would be following it. Joey was over the moon, given their conversation with Kaiba had not been as supportive as they had hoped. Duke decided to stay back with Rebecca and her grandfather, leaving the rest of them to travel to themselves. Lunafreya sat beside Gentiana and simply listened to their conversations. Tristan and Joey attempted to carry on as normal, while Téa did her utmost to try and raise the spirits of their Pharaoh and distract him. It broke her heart to see their close group seemingly fall apart bit by bit. It hurt more to see the strongest of them all shut them out. She had even reached out to grab his sleeve as he had walked by on the train to leave them, but Gentiana had stopped her.

"A time and a place, Lady Lunafreya."

Arguments with the ancient spirit monster were futile and she knew that. Yet, Lunafreya had wanted to chastise her best friend for the first time. Those around her that had been entrusted in her care were hurting and she could do little to help. Gentiana, of course, seemed to know exactly what she was going to say. The colder hands held hers to reassure her.

The train ride was thankfully uneventful as was the ride to the hotel where they'd stay the night until the flight the next morning. With their things checked in, the group tried to fumble their way through the next plan. It was Joey who suddenly elected that he, Tristan and Téa would go to dinner and they would all meet up before their flight. Gentiana supported the notion, even agreeing to go with them. Lunafreya stood in place for a moment, then two, a she debated which path to take. While it was an obvious answer, the young woman had always had difficulty moving to her heart if it felt conflicted with that of her duty.

Lunafreya stops outside the door for the room set aside for Atem. She has dressed in clothing that might seem unusual to her, but, she would rather not bring attention to herself as they attempted to move eastward. She raises her hand to the door and knocks gently with her knuckles. ]

Heika?

[ It's such a formal way of speaking, but, she notices the tone she says it in now. There is an air of endearment, personal respect, and care to it. Almost more akin to a personal nickname than a title. ]

Comments

[ifthereiswill]

[ For his part, everything that's happened after Yugi willingly sacrificed his soul to save Atem has been little better than a blur. He knows that people are walking around next to him and saying things, but he hasn't been paying attention to any of it.

All he knows is that he let his pride and rage block out everything else, and in his complete selfishness, he let Yugi pay the price for his own mistakes. And to him, that's utterly unforgivable.

He's registered bits and pieces about the group's plan to go to Florida in search of clues, and there's been talk about catching a train to the airport and leaving from there, but essentially, he's just been along for the ride: not speaking, not looking at anyone... Even the sound of Kaiba's voice on the video call and the diatribe that followed didn't manage to rouse him from his stupor.

The only thing that's registering with him so far is the occasional mentions of Yugi and getting him back, and with each one, something inside him breaks apart even further. It's his fault that Yugi's gone, and he'd do anything to get him back, but is he even worthy of having anything to do with Yugi and his friends anymore?

In the moments that he's alone, he alternates between sitting or standing still, because there's no meaning to anything anymore except for his own failure. He's even pulled out his deck of cards and contemplated putting them aside forever. Was Kaiba wrong when he labeled him a disgrace, unworthy of holding the title King of Games? He doesn't believe so. Even now, as he looks at his deck, it feels as though every monster contained within it is turning away from him in disgust. And what's more, he can almost feel the heat of disapproval coming from the three Egyptian gods that reside inside it.

He's not fit to own them, nor to call himself a friend to Yugi or the others. The rest of the train ride passes relatively uneventfully, with Atem keeping to himself, unable to bring himself to rejoin the others, not even Luna and Gentiana. In his mind, he just imagines all of them looking at him with hate and judgment in their eyes, and he knows it can't be any worse than the own hate he's directing at himself.

Finally, when they reach their temporary destination, they all go their separate ways: Joey, Tristan, and Téa leaving for dinner, with Gentiana coming along as well. Atem's already sequestered himself in his designated room, and he's not really certain what Lunafreya's doing.

He's already been alone for the majority of the train trip, but even now, he's still not in the right mindset to be around others. That harsh inner voice of his chastises him, telling him he can't trust himself around anyone ever again, because what happens if his rage awakens and someone else winds up hurt? It's a risk he can't take, and thus he can't allow himself to put others in that position again.

The room is quiet, almost to the point of being overwhelmingly so, but it doesn't matter. Atem balls his fists in front of him, and he feels tears threatening at the corners of his eyes. But he hasn't allowed himself to cry, not since the moments immediately following Yugi's loss. Nothing will ever matter again, and how could anything ever be the same again?

Even if somehow, they manage to restore Yugi's soul and bring him back, how could he even bring himself to look his partner in the eyes?

He's ignored all furniture in the room: the bed, the chair at the desk, opting to sit on the floor with his back to the wall. That's where he is when he hears the quiet knock on the door and the equally quiet voice, and he just lets his head drop, gaze falling to the floor. He thinks he knows who it is that's standing outside the door, but she's one of the last people he wants to see. Her quiet understanding and compassion would undo him now, because there is no understanding for what he's done. And he's the last person who deserves compassion. Surely, she'll leave when her knocks go unanswered, because he has no intention of standing up to let her in.

It's best for everyone if he be left alone. None of them might realize that or accept it, but it's what he wants. ]

[guidingmoonlight]

[ Truth be told, Lunafreya hadn't expected an answer. Why would he answer her when he had barely said a word to those that are closer to him? Part of her had hope that he would at least tel her to leave him be. She stands at the door for more than a moment. Two. Three. The passage of time isn't something she is paying attention to. Her attention is solely on the door in hopes that it might open.

It has been clear there will be no answer verbally or non-verbally. She frowns, fingers toying with one another as the realization sits in. Most would decide to simply leave him to his misery at that point. She, however, has been known to be steadfast and far more stubborn than most might believe. A glance is sent in either direction of the hallway before she opens the door just enough to let herself in.

There is already a point to make formulating in her mind as her eyes adjust to the unlit room. She notes the open curtains and the evening moonlight starting to filter in. Her hand stretches out to summon her Trident, taking a few more steps further in the room. A bed, chair, desk, and television for general entertainment. It is quite standard for a hotel room... with the exception of a discarded duel disk and deck on the desk as well. Lunafreya frowns at the sight, but focuses her attention on the man she's looking for. Then, she sees him, tucked against a wall and on the floor.

She moves to stand in front of him. There is no expectation he will answer as he has yet to do so far. Instead, she waits for him to adjust to her presence. No rash or sudden movements. Everything she does is done with a certain level of precision and care. She lowers herself to sit down in front of him, laying her Trident across her lap and folding her hands over it. A few moments later she reaches out and gently places her hand on his knee. Her eyes never break from where his eyesight would be if he were to raise his head to look at her. ]

Heika.

[ Soft, gentle. There are no questions, no prodding for him to move or to speak. No attempts to cheer him up or motivate him to make the next move. A simple word to let him know she is there in the room and will not be leaving him.

She is angry at herself for listening to Gentiana for so long. What if he has thought she did not care about his state of being? What if he thinks she has thrown him to the side because he has failed one duel? The mere idea that someone might think her so shallow is frustrating and infuriating, but, now is not the time for that. She can speak to Gentiana when the time comes. ]

[ifthereiswill]

[ The words that he might have normally said have frozen themselves in his throat, and his voice refuses to cooperate. What would he say to her anyway? Order her to leave? And would she listen? He's decided that it's far easier to remain silent and hope that she grows tired of waiting.

There's no room for anyone else inside what might as well be a locked cell for himself and his dark thoughts. A person like Luna, who is all light and grace, doesn't need to have anything to do with someone like him.

So he remains unaware when the door opens and she slips inside, even when the small crack of light spilling in from the hallway slowly widens. His head is still dropped low, as if he no longer has the energy to hold it up, knowing this is a very unbecoming position, even for a displaced Pharaoh, but believing that no one is here to observe him, he abandons his usual posture for no posture at all.

That is, until he hears quiet steps approaching him, and he knows that can only mean one thing. He is not alone in this room, not anymore. That notion is confirmed when he registers a hand resting softly on his knee. He feels rather than sees her sitting in front of him, Trident within easy reach.

Then he hears her voice, and that word she's called him almost since their first meeting. It does nothing to rouse him this time, but he does have just one thing to say to her. ]

Please, leave.

[ He isn't angry with her for not coming earlier than this, nor does he think she delayed because she doesn't care. It would have been better if she hadn't come at all, but knowing what he does about her kindness and her caring nature, it isn't surprising.

But now that she is here, he can't have her stay. This isn't a duel; the Orichalcos card isn't present, and yet he feels that he's too dangerous to be close to. What if he loses control of himself again? There's no telling who might be caught up in the danger, and he wouldn't be able to live with himself if something happened to her too, so soon after losing Yugi. ]

[guidingmoonlight]

[ She had not expected an answer at all from him, let lone those words in particular. His words sting in a way she did not expect them to. Plenty have rejected her aid, her healing, her support... none of those rejections have caused her to react in such a way. It feels as if the breath has been taken from her lungs, and water gathering her eyes. Her fingers curl into the fabric on his knee.

It does more than sting. It aches to see him in such a way. It hurts to be pushed away in the manner he has.

The reaction to pull away and follow his request is strong. A temptation to recoil in her own pain of rejection. There is no way for him to know how or why his words sting. It takes Lunafreya a fleeting moment to realize herself. She had not come to aid him as the Oracle would to the Pharaoh, but as the girl would to the boy who needs someone at his side. It is a very subtle difference and not one she would think even the keenest of minds would see. So rarely does Lunafreya act as herself first instead of the Oracle that many might not even know the difference.

There are so many ways she could phrase what she needs to. So many, in fact, that it takes her another moment to decide on which to say. ]

No, I won't. [ An ounce of formality drops in her speech. She once argued with her brother on what was the right path to take; the right action. While the urge to recoil in her own reaction lingers, Lunafreya refuses to move from her decision. ] Not yet.

[ Her other hand curls tightly along the grip of the Trident. It is hard for her to speak so plainly of her own emotions or desires... let alone ask for acceptance at such a personal level. Still, she feels this is what she should do.

She lifts the Trident from her lap only to rest it long side the both of them. Then, she pushes it away. A metaphoric show of the weight behind her words. She is not here as the Oracle, but as Luna. Her other hand raises from his knee to rest over his hand. Those tears still gather in her eyes. ]

I won't tell you to put on a brave face for the world. I won't say that you need to think of our next steps, or even where we might be going. I won't force you to fight or to commune with your gods.

[ She won't mention how Yugi is gone. It is obvious and the lack of his presence can be felt by all of them. ]

Please, let me stay with you for even a little while, Yami-sama.

[ifthereiswill]

[ Later, when he's managed to defeat the dark thoughts of shame, failure, and guilt, he'll come to her (if she'll allow him to) and apologize for pushing her away so abruptly and without consideration for her own feelings. But now, he can barely stand being with himself, let alone another person.

Everyone falls eventually, and now he too knows what it's like to fall. Others have called the lofty way he carries himself arrogance and pride, and he's never really disagreed, but even though he's never put a label on it, it's always seemed like a carryover from his past life, a remnant of how he used to be when he was Pharaoh.

Some disdain him for it, others just accept it as part of who he is, but now in the wake of all this, he's beginning to realize just how blind he was to the truth.

He is no better than anyone else.

But it isn't until Luna quietly states her intention to not leave him that he finally lifts his head to look at her. Even so, when he forces his gaze to meet hers, the spark that's always there has fled, leaving only a dull emptiness behind.

He glances to the side when she moves the Trident from its place close at hand, but he doesn't comment on that either.

The blankness in his eyes doesn't lessen even as his glance travels down to where her hand rests on his. He can't even begin to understand how she can be so steadfast in the face of so much trial and difficulty, even when she knows the wrong that he's committed.

He opens his mouth to say something, to express his surprise that she can even stand to be around him, but his normally confident voice falters.

Earlier, when it was just him alone in the silence of the hotel room, he had wanted to scream about the unfairness of it all, but neither words nor sound would come. But even giving voice to his emotions wouldn't have eased the storm in his heart.

It isn't until she uses that name, a name she hasn't spoken until this very moment that he forces himself to make genuine eye contact with her.

But he still doesn't speak, just stares, hollow-eyed, as if he's never seen anyone quite like her before and can't find the words to explain how he feels: unworthy when he's in the presence of Yugi's friends, and even more so when faced with Luna's calm and understanding.

He's a storm, wild and unrelenting, and for that reason, Yugi's paying the price for his error. ]

[guidingmoonlight]

[ By all fairness to him, Lunafreya had no idea she would react the way she has. There has always been a fondness for Yugi, his friends, and the displaced Pharaoh. It accompanies a sense of wishing to protect them and give support where she might. This, however, is much stronger than fondess and the desire to give support. It runs deeper and far more personal. Perhaps she has felt that there is a sense of familiarity between the pair of them. They are two people that have adapted t the modern world, yet still remain oddly apart of it by nature of who and what they are.

The look in his eyes is heartbreaking. The implications of what Yugi had said during their first conversation strikes her in that moment. Atem had no memories of who he was before Yugi completed the Millennium Puzzle. All he knew was what Yugi did through his emotions. Their unique situation made it so the two were inseparable. He could not remember a time without the younger soul at his side. It is an irreplaceable bond and it has now been shattered. Lunafreya wonders if his friends truly understand what that that means to the man in front of her. Do they begin to fathom the loneliness he must be feeling?

She makes a decision in that moment that she will never back away from. No matter what may come. That decision is what gives her look a subtle confidence to reassure him.

Of course she had never forgotten the name he had given her when they first met. It simply felt right to address him in a proper way to respect his once title and birthright. If anything, it was a formality tinted with affection. Now was not the time for titles or formalities. The old soul in front of her had thrown down the mantle of kingship, and therefore addressing him in such a way would only push him further away.

His gaze hardly unsettles her. Most stare when they realize her healing abilities, or just at how formal she remains in the modern world. It feels far more personal to Lunafreya then the countless faces she has aided over her short time as Oracle. It could be a simple matter of her internalizing things, believing what she wishes to see. He may not even return the deep affection she has for him. After all, she has only come to see it herself since this downward spiral began.

All that she can hope is that he sees her as herself in this moment.

If he is a storm then it must be her charge to calm them.

Lunafreya moves then - Slowly, deliberately so he can see every movement - and settles beside him. Her hand curls around his to hold it in her lap where her Trident once was. Small little motions that speak with greater meaning. Ever true to her word, she says nothing and gives him the time to do as he wishes. ]

[ifthereiswill]

[ And similarly, Atem couldn't have predicted how quickly he'd lose sight of his formerly solid foundation of doing what's right and doing his best to not hurt others in the process of his own goals. How quickly he descended into rage and pride, all sense of humility and kindness gone, just as Yugi's soul is now gone.

A shadow seems to fall over his eyes like a curtain being drawn as he thinks back to the things Rafael said to him. At first, he wanted to dismiss the words as sheer nonsense, but the more he's thought about it, the more he's realized the man could be right. Without his memories of his past life, who is to say that he wasn't truly an evil Pharaoh?

That thought, combined with Yugi's loss, is enough to crush him and send what's left of his heart breaking into even smaller pieces. It isn't just the emptiness and loneliness he feels with Yugi being gone that's troubling him so greatly. It's the fear that maybe he wasn't the benevolent ruler he assumed he was; that in reality, he was feared and hated by his own subjects.

Was he cruel to them? Did he send them to their deaths as punishment? His hands clench back into fists at that thought. If that's the case, then could this be his own punishment? Being deprived of his memories and made to reside as a spirit inside a magical object for the rest of eternity? It's a strange sort of punishment, if so, but his worried thoughts are conjuring up all sorts of unsettling scenarios.

As he's looking at Luna, he's wishing he could voice even half of the fears running through his mind, but then another fear rears up, larger and louder than the rest. If he can't regain his voice, and acknowledge her for staying by his side when he doesn't deserve it, what if she decides to leave him after all?

He's not sure when Lunafreya, the Oracle, became so important to him, or how it happened so quickly, but at some point in the course of their conversations, she made a place for herself in his heart and in his life, and the thought of losing that so suddenly just adds to the weight that's pressing him down.

It isn't until she shifts, settling in closer next to him and reaching to take hold of his hand that some of the doubt and fear that's been keeping him frozen cracks. It hasn't broken completely, but small cracks are forming, and the ice hasn't begun to freeze over again just yet. ]

Luna... [ His voice sounds hoarse and foreign to his ears. ] How can you still be beside me, after everything that I've done?

[ He has more that he wants to say, but his emotions are rising again and threatening to choke him, so he's forced to stop there. ]

[guidingmoonlight]

[ His friends would argue that it was the effects of the magical seal that shoved him in the downward spiral. Lunafreya is unable to say either way as she was not present at the duel. The truth of the matter may simply be he made a grave mistake in haste and the fear of losing. She could not say if it was fear of losing his soul that drove him or purely the idea of losing due to his ego. Neither changes the result and what the loss has done to all of them.

Her eyes fall to his hands as they ball into fists. She fears when his inward turmoil will start to manifest outwardly. One can only press their skin in too far or punch a wall so many times before it becomes obvious for all to see. Still, she does not bring attention to it. She will simply heal whatever he may need her to. Although she doubts he would wish her to do so.

The heavy silence falls between them. While the room is quiet around them and the sound beyond the walls is muffled? She knows that the heaviness comes from Atem. He may not voice the storm inside, but it rolls off him in waves loud enough for her to hear. It is like waves crashing against the rocks as the wind seems to cut around them. That, at least, is the mental image she conjures by simply sitting beside him. Lunafreya holds no ability to read minds. She merely tries to read the emotions that people project in order to help put their minds and souls at ease.

She looks to him as he speaks. There are so many ways she might answer his question. There are so many words she could use. Words that the Oracle would say, or phrases and speeches his friends might give him. What are her words? There are some that come to mind instantly, but she refuses to share them. They make little sense - all of this makes little sense. Emotions are what seem to be the driving force now. Usually it is their mannerisms and their formalities. Now...

A small smile touches her face at the fact he calls her 'Luna.' She is certain he could say her full name. It is the others she is certain would stumble. That smile washes away as she settles on the words to say. ]

It's where I wish to be.

[ She is certain that sounds as strange to him as it does her. If only because she so rarely says things that so deeply personal. Her hands set his to rest in her lap. ]

I've no other place to go but here.

[ His and Yugi's friends had always been kind and welcoming. They saw her no different than anyone else. Titles mattered little, as did her gifts. She is truly grateful for that. At the moment that all matters little to her. In the end, it is Atem's side she wishes to be at. Reasoning has no place when it comes to the heart, and, that is what hers tells her.

A brief moment of hesitation passes over her as she wrestles to follow through with what she wishes to do next. How will he react? Will he push her away further? Would he tell her that it is far too intimate and she has no right to be in the room with him, let alone at his side?

She steels herself then for whatever reaction might come her way.

Her fingers curl at the chain around his neck. Gently, carefully, and with the utmost respect, Lunafreya lifts the chain that holds the Millennium Puzzle from him. Her motions continue to be slow so that he might stop her at any point. The gold weighs heavy on the chain and she cannot help but wonder if it somehow symbolizes the mantle of his kingship. With the same reverence she used to take it from his neck, Lunafreya places the ancient relic beside her own.

Now it is just the two of them. No titles, no magical relics, no duties.

Her hands gently rest on either side of his face. There is no move to lift his head to force his gaze to her. The touch is light, almost barely there so that he could push it away if he so desired. ]

[ifthereiswill]

[ Regardless of whether or not it was the card's influence that led Atem to do what he did, he's inclined to believe that the seal of Orichalcos only brought to life what was already there inside him: a darkness that he'd been warned about but mostly ignored. He lost sight of what was good and right and became full of pride and arrogance, and the knowledge that he was so easily corrupted has all but knocked him to the ground. Does he have the strength to get back up? At this very moment, he sincerely doubts it, even with someone like Luna at his side.

If she is worried that he will begin directing his turmoil outward rather than inward, she needed bother. Why would he direct his own anger and tumultuous thoughts at anyone but himself? He's the one who should be punished, and if no one will, well- he'll simply punish himself instead. It's not a difficult task, as his own thoughts are already flaying him with judgment for what he's done.

Although he registers Luna's words, he doesn't react to them, nor does he speak again. It seems as though he exhausted his ability to do so with the few words he's already spoken. Her admission that she's right where she wants to be brings him no comfort or relief; in fact, it makes his feelings of guilt grow even stronger.

If he could muster up the will to speak to her again, he would say that this place of guilt and despair is not a place fit for her. She is the Oracle, a being of light and goodness, and he in turn is one of darkness and rage. The last thing he wishes to see is for her to be corrupted by his own sins. Now he knows he was right when he told her she should leave. But it seems as though she has decided not to listen, and so that can only mean that he must shield her from his darkness in the only way he can: by closing himself off from her by any means necessary.

The shadows fall back over his eyes like a curtain falling over a window, and although they're still seated very closely to each other, he might as well be a million miles away.

When her hands, always so gentle, move to grasp the chain around his neck, he stiffens but doesn't pull away. Regardless of his own troubled state of mind, the fact remains that he trusts her, but more than that, he's begun to wonder if he even deserves to have the Millennium Puzzle at all. Yugi was the one who solved it in the first place, and his soul is pure and whole, unlike Atem's. If he ever had any right to it at all, that seems to have passed now.

If Luna wants to take it from him, for whatever reason, he'll let her. He has no right to have anything that belongs to Yugi, whether it is the relic that houses him or Yugi's own body.

His expression remains blank, but he looks at the relic as she sets it aside, wondering if perhaps he should simply retreat back into the labyrinth of the puzzle and leave Yugi's body in the care of those who love him the most. There is one thing that he believes will come to pass, and without his involvement. Yugi's friends will restore his soul, and at least one wrong will have been righted.

Hiding in the puzzle forever is the coward's way out, however, and that knowledge only causes him to despise himself even more. He drops his gaze back down to the ground, even while Luna's hands lightly grasp the sides of his face.

Even her warmth and light isn't going to be enough to send his dark thoughts back to where they came from, not this time. ]

[guidingmoonlight]

[ Every soul has light and dark somewhere within it. What matters is not that one has darkness, but that they conquer it within themselves. It is a thought and sentiment she would share if she thought it would benefit him at all. All of this merely confirms the belief that words are not something that can reach him. Words had been used to hurt him in the span of the last day - intentionally or not. Not that she believes the warmth generated from her healing would comfort him either. All that she can think to do is simply be beside him until he was ready to do much of anything again.

It is not herself or her safety that she worries for. She worries of the damage he might cause to himself. It hardly matters at the moment that he is merely housed in Yugi's body and ultimately that harm might be done to the boy who hosts him. In this moment, the only person in front of her is the lost soul who she so desperately wishes to reach. The rest can fall into place once he is ready.

Part of her still had hoped the subtly of what she had said would reach him. The intent seems to have been lost in the wake of it all as she sees his gaze shift away. She had hoped the relief of the heavy neck piece might relieve some of his burden, but the meaning of that too seems to have been lost. It causes her heart to ache more and a fear that perhaps he is too far away for her to reach. The composed expression she wears like make up cracks, revealing the girl who is desperately trying to hold him in place.

It is in his eyes that she can tell he wishes to leave. Atem was the first he met of the two Yugis, and she learned quickly that their eyes give away which one was present. One has a brightness and joy to the world. The innocence might be gone, but he can find the small things in life that bring happiness. The other has a darker intense gaze, always calculating and observing his next move. One belongs to a boy and the other belongs to a king. Lunafreya can see the king in those eyes as he drifts further and further away from her.

Even if he cannot see her.

She cannot help someone who does not wish to be helped. That is a fact she knows better than anyone. Ravus refused her comfort after their mother died. More than one night he left her alone in a room of their home, waiting for him to return, knowing he never would. Again, again, and again. Until the one morning he had returned, but he was no longer the brother she had seen the night before. He had grown into someone colder and controlling. Even now she waits for the day her brother might come back to her while knowing that it may never happen. It is something she has never wanted to experience again, and that fear grips her as she looks into the eyes of the young Pharaoh.

Who is she to ask that he not leave? She is a stranger to him, is she not? Someone he met by happenstance who shares similar goals. What in this world gives her the place to ask that he remain with his friends - with her? It is so utterly selfish, but she finds that something deep inside her is screaming it.

For all the strength she has as the Oracle... Lunafreya knows that deep down she is just a girl. A girl who is very lonely and has a wished for nothing more than for someone that she might stand beside. The Oracle guides and comforts, leading two worlds to coexist. Yet, amongst that sea, there has to be one person she might simply stand beside and be with. What foolish notion has driven her to think that a displaced ancient spirit might be someone like that... she cannot even begin to put into words. Perhaps she is wrong, but, attempting to tell the heart something is often foolish. ]

Yami.

[ She drops all formalities, all suffixes of the language he has inherited from Yugi. There are so many words tied in how she says the name he gave her. A plea not to leave, a call for his attention, permission to help him, and a question of if he can even see who is sitting beside him. Lunafreya does not expect him to hear her, let alone answer her.

She will remain the girl in the dark room with the moonlight shining in and waiting for them to come back.

What else can she do?

Lunafreya leans forward. She presses her lips to his forehead for a brief moment. Then, she tilts her head so her forehead might rest to his and closes her eyes. Despite her best efforts and battles within herself to keep her emotions in line? She feels her tears slide down her face.

How pathetic she must look to him if he sees her. A girl crying when she is supposed to comfort and guide. ]

[ifthereiswill]

[ The part of his mind that hasn't been left reeling by his descent into rage and pridefulness is sending strongly worded messages about needing to come back from this, to begin to beat back the darkness and let the light that's inside his heart return. And what's more, he desperately wants to listen. It's almost as though he's been imprisoned by his own guilt and regret, but even from within his self-made cage, he's reaching out, practically clawing for a handhold: something that will bring him out of this pit of his own making and back onto solid ground.

Thus far, any damage that's being done to him is of the emotional sort, the kind that leaves wounds on the heart and right now, those injuries are fresh and bleeding. They aren't the kind that can be healed by magic, even the magic of the Oracle. Time might seal them closed again, but for the moment, they're very much open and raw.

Again, the more rational part of his mind is latching onto Luna's words, trying to derive some small measure of hope from them. She wishes to be with him, and she has nowhere else she'd rather be than by his side, but he can't bring himself to believe her, even though she hasn't lied to him once in the short time that they've known each other. Strangely enough, in the midst of the storm that's surrounding him, the one thing that is bringing him the barest hint of calm is Luna's steadfastness.

It's barely perceptible unless one is looking for it, but that curtain of darkness over his eyes fades just a little, and just the smallest amount of light returns. It's only a pinprick, barely visible, but where his eyes were once dark tunnels, there is a glimmer of light inside them. Blink and it'll be missed, but it's there.

But the darkness is not gone just yet, and he's still sitting where she found him, eyes staring blankly at the floor in front of them. That is, until she calls him by his name, the only name that he remembers. Why he remembers it, he isn't sure, but it's one that people call him, and one name is as good as another, particularly when one's true name is lost to time.

It's slow, but gradually, his head begins to lift, and for the first time since she entered his room, he's looking at her and actually seeing the girl in front of him. He has heard her, and feels her presence, and while he may still be sitting in the middle of a storm, perhaps some of the clouds are beginning to lift.

Then she's pressing her forehead against his, and they stay that way for a few minutes. It takes a few more minutes for him to realize that something is dripping onto his lap, and he reaches out with a shaking hand to touch the spots where Luna's tears have fallen.

Could it be that she's crying over me? The thought comes unbidden, but he pushes it away again, dismissing it as impossible. If she is crying, it is more likely that she's doing so because he's locked himself away from her, and because he's fallen so far.

It can't be because of any other reason, can it? Surely she can't feel anything more for him than she would another ancient figure, displaced and without memory.

She may not notice right away, but his hands twitch as though they want to reach for her but are afraid to. To reach out and then be rejected, even if Luna would never, would be more than he could take. ]

[guidingmoonlight]

[ It has yet to occur to her what she might do if she is successful in bringing him back to his friends. Of course she will see this tribulation through until its conclusion. She will be there to see that his dear partner is returned to him. If need be, she will fight, and heal whatever wounds have been done to their group. But... what then? Should she stay in Japan and hope that Yugi and his friends would like her to remain? Should she return home to England and endlessly wait for another place she might fly out to, or for her wayward brother to return instead of the callous military man that wears his face? Should she listen to that small voice inside her and indulge in the idea that perhaps the spirit of the Millennium Puzzle would speak with her more? They are thoughts that had been on her mind since the end of the dubbed Battle City Tournament and are farthest from her mind in that moment. They will need to be addressed regardless at one point.

How she wishes to shield him from all the words or actions that might continue to strike him as he struggles to find his will again. It is a desire that aches at the bottom of her heart. Something that pounds against her taught mannerisms. The only time she has ever felt so strongly about anything else was striving to take up the mantle of her lineage. It is something she thought she might never feel again... and to a degree it is terrifying. The world might reject the Oracle and she could continue her work. The soul whose head she gently holds might reject her and she is not certain how her she might bend to that. Not when he so desperately needs something to hold onto until he can find his pride again and continue onward on his path that destiny has carved for him.

Her eyes remain closed to try and hold the rest of her tears at bay. The fact even a few have escaped breaks the promise she made to herself. Long ago, Lunafreya told herself that she would never cry where prying eyes might see. The world needed to see a woman that was steadfast and tall; one that could be a foundational rock for those who would need it. They could not see the girl underneath. The fact that Atem has seen it causes another sense of fear to run through her. Would he think she weak and unable to help if Luna shows just a moment? Her intention had been for him to know that she is there as herself, not the Oracle, but is that what he would want beside him? A girl is terrified of losing everything if she does not at least try?

It is the small shift in his poster that catches her from her own inner doubts. Her eyes open a fraction enough to see his hands attempting to move. She is unsure if they move to return her notions or to reject them, but, that inner voice is clear as crystal for what she wants. Her fingers brush along his cheeks for a moment before moving to the back of his head. Lunafreya guides him gently to rest his head on her shoulder or her chest - whichever his weight might carry him. She holds him securely and tightly, embracing him even, face hiding among his oddly colored hair.

It is a silent invitation for him to do as he needs. If he needs to shout, she will make it so they cannot hear. If he breaks and lets the dam loose, she will be certain that no one would see. Even if he simply needs to sit there in her arms as he has, then she will hold his weight. Whatever he might need from her is free for him to take and she gives it more than willingly. It hardly matters if she feels more tears slip down her cheeks into his hair. All she wishes is to help him in a grief that is all consuming. ]

[ifthereiswill]

[ In truth, before all this happened, when things were... not happier, exactly, because they were still facing down a lot of problems, Atem had thought to himself that just maybe he and Luna could talk at length and become better acquainted with her. Perhaps it was unconventional, and perhaps she wouldn't wish to, due to her role as Oracle, but there was a light about her that drew him in and made him want to seek her out. As was true for Yugi, Luna was the light to his dark, and when he was with her, some of her calm spread over him as well.

Even now that he's lost in the middle of a storm, a storm that he's caused himself, he finds himself desperately reaching out for her calm, but the darkness is blinding him, shielding her from view. If he could, he would speak with her more, and ask for her help in setting everything that he's broken to rights again. Everything that he's touched has broken, and the one person who's always been the most important to him is gone too: sealed away and out of his reach.

His head is still dipped low, and she may not notice it, but a tear forms and falls slowly, unbidden, down his cheek.

Is it because she's begun letting her own emotions show that he finally feels he can let the mask fall away and allow some of his desperate grief to come to the surface? Or is it just the fact that she's with him, reaching for him, touching him, when he feels like he's unworthy to be touched ever again? Regardless, the cracks are beginning to form, and it's only a matter of time before they grow large enough that the fragile hold he has on his composure falls apart completely.

His hands continue to move, slowly reaching for hers, but they stop when she pulls him in closer into her embrace. His head rests against her chest, and at first, he doesn't move, simply letting her hold him. But then his shoulders start to shake, slowly at first but gradually increasing with each minute that passes.

The dam that he's tried so desperately to keep in one piece is beginning to crack, and it's taking his emotions that he's held back with it. First one tear falls, and then another, and then more follow until a wave of tears crest his face. He's no longer able to hold them back, and now his hands reach out, latching onto the folds of her clothes, fingers twining with the soft fabric.

The dam has finally broken along with his heart, and all he can do is sit there with her as wave after wave of tears falls. ]

[guidingmoonlight]

[ Lunafreya would gladly have spoken with the Pharaoh or Yugi whenever they asked. It is selfish, perhaps, to want such a thing from the vessel and the Pharaoh himself. Yet, part of her had always been taken by the idea of serving alongside a King. The Oracles had worked with countless Kings over the span of history. The ancient system had been upheaved as the countless monarchs were deseated and stripped of power as their centuries old systems collapsed. Of course, Lunafreya never thought it to be possible; simply a romanticized notion of the history of her family. However... aiding the Pharaoh and the one who anchored him has meant the world to her.

He has trapped himself away in his own mind much as he is sealed to needing the Millennium Puzzle. Has he ever been free to chose his own? Or, has he been like her? Bound by duty and sealing himself away from others? Perhaps it is far too much of a conjecture to make. All Lunafreya can truly attest to is the fact he is a soul who still moves as a king does. He holds himself as one, breathes as one, and commands the room and all attention to him as a king might. The days of Pharaohs and their gods were gone long ago, but, he was raised to be what he is and no passage of time will change that. Just as she is and will remain the Oracle.

Lunafreya shifts closer to him. She offers to shield him from any that might stumble into the room. No one need witness his broken heart - his shattered bond with the young soul that helps bind him to their world. Even she feels as if this is something she should not witness. It is something that is so personal that it cannot be expressed in words. No amount of conversations or time learning a card game would prepare them for this level of vulnerability. Although, Lunafreya would trade this experience if it meant returning his partner to him.

Lunafreya, the girl always placing the needs and wants of others before her own.

An arm curls around his back to pull him closer as she strokes his hair with the other. It moves and is shapped in strange ways, but, she believes she finds a way to follow the strands that would be comforting. The shawl wrapped around her body and pinned in place is heavy and soft. A perfect combination to absorb the tears that fall from his face onto her.

She opens her eyes enough to be able to take in the room around them again. The desk, television, and bed. Atem is in no state to duel, let alone move, but he will need sleep of some fashion before they reach the plane. No doubt the trip will be turbulent and offer no place of refuge for more than a handful of hours. Joey can make the plans the group needs to move forward... and she will take the steps necessary to aid the broken Pharaoh in her hold. As long as he allows her to of course.

She turns her head slightly once again to press her lips to the top of his head. Her hand continues to brush through the strands of hair. There are words she wishes to say and thoughts she could share. They are all trapped within her. Words do more harm than good for him now. Still, she wishes to at least speak to him even if he cannot answer.]

I'll remain here at your side until you truly wish me to leave. [ The hand holding him in place curls into the school jacket he wears. Please, do not send me away. ] Even once this threat to you and your friends has been dealt with. As long as you want me to stay, I will be here.

[ She stops herself short of calling him the revered title. The one she says out of pure habit and affection. Deep inside, to herself, she knows that she calls him it because he is her King. Not through titleship to be ruled over or to be delegated orders to... but to serve along side him as Oracle until his tribulations on this world are through. ]

[ifthereiswill]

[ As close as Atem and Yugi are, he would never dare to presume that he knows Yugi's mind as well as Yugi himself does, even though the two of them do share a rather intimate knowledge of the other and how their minds work. But he believes that he wouldn't be wrong in saying that both of them have come to view Lunafreya as someone special: a comforting presence when everything is turning upside down, and what's more, someone with wisdom and the right thing to say, not to mention the courage to say it.

She may be just a girl, but there's a wealth of strength in her, and that's one thing that both Yugi, the vessel, and Atem, the spirit, have come to admire.

Duty, obligation, and destiny are all heavy mantles to wear, but whether he remembers it or not, he took on all three when he became Pharaoh. And even though his memories have all been sealed away, that too was his choice and his decision, for the safety of his people and perhaps even the world, if darkness had been allowed to grow unchecked.

But perhaps his memories aren't the only things that have been sealed away; has who he is as a person been sealed away too, covered up by the face he presents to this new modern world? Still, however far removed he might be from who he was in the past and from his past memories, as Luna has very aptly noted, he still carries himself as would a king.

At least, he did, before everything came crashing down upon him, the consequence of his arrogance and rage.

Now he can barely stand, let alone look up at the one person who's found him in the whirlwind of his grief. His posture is hardly that of a king's, but right now, he would throw away that title if it meant getting back what he cast aside.

Luna's words echo in his mind, and he hears her and the sincerity behind them, but he still can't bring himself to speak through his tears. What he hasn't said- What he can't say is that he never wants her to leave him, unless she does so of her own volition. He would never hold her back for fear that she would eventually come to resent him as one eventually resents a chain that binds them, but she's found a place in his life, and he can't imagine the space she's filled being left empty again.

Unfortunately, he can't find it in himself to give voice to any of this, but where his hands grip onto her clothes, his fingers tighten just a fraction more as if to say he does not want to let go.

But they can't sit on this floor forever; they have a plane to catch soon, and even in the midst of his all-encompassing despair, he recognizes that it would be even more selfish of him to keep her here. Surely she has preparations to see to, and she needs her own rest. Sleep is the last thing on his mind, but that doesn't mean that it has to be that way for her too.

Slowly, reluctantly, he loosens the grip he has on the folds of Luna's clothing, and while keeping his gaze turned downwards, he says: ]

You- [ His voice falters, choked by the tears that continue to fall, but much slower now. ] You must have tasks that need to be completed before we leave.

[ He finally withdraws his hands from the hold he had on her, letting them drop to his left and right sides. ]

I won't keep you any longer, Lunafreya. [ There, he uses her full name, intending it to be a mark of the respect he has for her even now. And although he is not privy to her thoughts, he sincerely hopes she does not interpret this as him sending her away, but rather, him trying to show her consideration in what feels like a futile attempt to atone for his recent lapses. ]

[guidingmoonlight]

[ Her words must fail her then as Lunafreya and not the Oracle. She hesitates, she worries, and has to search for what she might say. The heart screams one thing, but the mind phrases it in other ways. Otherwise she might speak frankly of how her time among the vessel of the Pharaoh and the Pharaoh himself has meant to her. Them and their protector friends. Instead she simply sits and attempts to ease his state of mind with touch alone. She is very little outside of the Oracle as she has given all that she is to her calling. Now, in this little hotel room in America, she wishes there was more of her to offer the Pharaoh she shields. Perhaps then it might be enough.

Had it been the time for such words, she would remind him that all kings lose a battle. All lose soldiers, territory, money, and power. It is if they can step back up into command and lead once again that determines the outcome of their legacy. History shall remember one or the other, and it is up to him to decide which it might be. This is not the time for statements that are bold and stand tall in grandeur. It is not the King that needs support, but the young man who took the crown of Egypt upon his head. The young man who perhaps has had his eyes opened to the reality around him and the true depth of the stakes at play.

It has never been truly about the card game of Duel Monsters.

She takes his silent gesture as an answer to her statement. It brings a warmth to her heart in spite of the ever rolling despair from him. She presses her nose to the side of his head to reassure him. While she has held information back and not shared all of her short life's grief and details? She has not once lied to him and she will not start now. Every word is meant with the full weight behind them.

His voice takes her by surprise after what feels like eternity of not hearing it. Just as looking into their eyes and seeing the soul behind them, their shared voice fluctuates. The Pharaoh speaks deeper and with power behind him. Even in the grief that weighs down on him and his soul, she can hear it. She has missed his voice as odd as it is to think.

Yet, his words are far from comforting or promising. It does feel as if it is a rejection; a request for her to return to her duties and not waste time on him. The use of her full name pulls at her heart, as she has become so accustomed to hearing the two souls call her by the shorten name she first gave. His hands that hit the floor echo in her ears as she feels as if he is slipping away from her once more.

Words, words, words. Why is she unable to say what she truly wishes to say? How much serving him and Yugi has much to her; how their unusual bond has inspired her to be emboldened in her calling. Even those are not the words she wishes to share. There is a pounding in her chest and a demand that she admit to even herself that it is the notion of care, devotion, and love that she harbors for him. Love. There are so many forms of that word that all give different meanings. Which does she mean for him - the Nameless Pharaoh? Lunafreya is unsure which it is, but, she knows that caring for is too simple of a notion. So, the words are trapped inside and express themselves as the few remaining tears that fall into his hair before she pulls back.

Her hands return to hold his face. Thumbs brush across his cheeks as this time she does tilt his head up to meet her gaze. No matter how distant his eyes are, or how present he seems not to be, she silently requests that he look at her if but one last time for this night. ]

You're the only thing that I task myself with. Not the Duel King, not the Nameless Pharaoh, not the other Yugi. You. The spirit who has been lost to time for far too long.

[ She tilts her head and offers him a smile. This time the tears do not fall from her eyes. Him, her King, regardless of what his name might be. How many more words must she use to try and describe what it is that she truly means? ]

You, [ Again, she rests her forehead to his and holds his gaze. ] my dear Pharaoh.

[ This time she tilts her head just enough to press her lips to his cheek. His statement in basics holds true. Things need to be seen to before they leave--his well being. She holds his face for but a moment more before shifting her weight to her feet. Her hands move to his frame to guide him to stand with her. She remains there so he might lean on her if needed. ]

Even if you can't find sleep, you must at least rest to travel. [ Lunafreya nods behind him to the bed. ] Please.

[ifthereiswill]

[ If her words are failing her, then what are his doing? He's barely managed to string a sentence together, and when he does speak, it feels as though he's saying the wrong thing. In a way, it's fitting, because this all began because he lost control of himself and did a series of very wrong things, leading to his friend and partner being lost.

And similarly, if she is little outside of the Oracle, who is he outside of a nameless spirit who borrows the form of another? Suddenly he's finding himself confronted with something that hasn't occurred to him before now: what purpose does he serve if he can't pick up his cards and duel, and if he's lost all memory of who he once was? Apart from who he is as a sort of guide to Yugi when he needs him, what good is he? And now that Yugi's gone, and with him, his confidence and belief in himself, he can't help but think that he's all but become pointless.

And the truth that he hasn't wanted to confront, but is finding himself forced to face now, is that maybe he was pointless all along and no one wanted to admit that to him.

His eyes have certainly been opened to something, but it doesn't seem like the something that Luna hoped it was.

And he doesn't mean his words to be a rejection of her and the care and love that she offers. It's hard for him to accept that from her when reprimands and words of disapproval ring out loudly in his mind, threatening to drown out Luna's quiet attempts at reassurance. It's a war of push and pull, and right now, he's being pulled away from her by a current that he doesn't have the strength to fight.

When he feels her hands slip into place around his face, and she tilts his head up to look at her, he doesn't protest, doesn't fight. He just lets her move him as she wills, wanting nothing more than to let his gaze slip away from hers, but something compels him to actually look her in the eye and not turn away.

It hardly makes up for his own lack of words, but even though he's floating adrift, completely lost, he has enough sense left in him to know that he needs to give her something in return, or else that unspoken fear that she might well and truly leave him could come to life.

He might feel as though his soul has become dry and lifeless, but there's still just the smallest part that remains alive and hopeful, and it's those words, full of resolve and determination and belief, that add a few drops of hope to that last remnant clinging to life.

It's brief, and it dies just as soon as it starts, but if Luna's looking closely, she might notice a spark or a flash of something in his eyes that have been dimmed and dulled up until this very moment.

But when she stands and gently pulls him into a standing position as well, that brief spark of life flees just as quickly as it came, and he just stands there, silent and unmoving.

He stiffens at the mention of sleep and rest, because he has convinced himself that he has no right to rest when Yugi's soul is trapped, and any number of terrible things could be happening to him.

At first, the movement is slow, but it increases in pace until it's clear that he's shaking his head. He can't sleep, and even lying down in an attempt to rest feels impossible to him. There's a reason he took up that place on the floor, because that bed signifies a comfort that he doesn't deserve. ]

[guidingmoonlight]

[ Perhaps that is a reason that fate has crossed their paths. There must be a balance between ones calling and oneself, but neither seem to truly understand that. He may have at one time when the crown rested on his head, but, Lunafreya has never seen it in such a way. Her mother died and the world needed an Oracle. She was destined to be the Oracle the moment she was born. Why not step into the role as soon as she could? Her head held high, embracing what she was while knowing that it would leave room for little else. Her best friend is at her side and two companions -- what else could she need? What Lunafreya had not seen was the support that her mother had from her father. She was too young when he passed, and Ravus hardly spoke of either parent after their passing. In her mind there was nothing else she would need to live her calling to the fullest.

Now, she was having to confront is the very human notion: want. In some ways, it is far more terrifying than staring down an ancient spirit from another realm. It requires a vulnerability that she fears will be cast aside in undesirability. That side of her that wants so deeply cries out that he'll return her affections and not cast her aside. She hopes that maybe some of the shadow will lift from his eyes to grasp what she is attempting to express.

Her heart lifts the moment she sees even the faintest of light flicker in his eyes. It causes her own expression to lift, a sense of relief and joy washing over in that brief second. He may not even notice the subtle change on her face... especially as it is gone as quickly as his own was. The brief exchange only further cements in her mind that words are not what can aid him in this moment.

Lunafreya's posture sinks as he stands unmoving. A man standing in a storm and letting the elements batter him without the will to care. He shakes his head. She can take the sway of the push and pull he radiates. It does not matter how many little wounds she takes to her own heart. Lunafreya is willing to bleed out to help the people she loves - deeply or unconditionally. She only prays that in his current frame of mind he cannot see them as they add up. She refuses to show them in fear of weakness or that he might dismiss her outright.

Standing there will not convince him and words will not. All that is left is action and example. It is all she can think of what to do. Her hands give a gentle squeeze to his arms before she silently steps to his side, then moves past him. The notion leaves a sense of underhandedness in her heart that she hates. What else can she do but force him to make a decision for himself? Remain motionless in his torment or join her in some form comfort that he might allow himself.

Lunafreya comes to stand but a few feet away from him beside the bed. She unpins the shawl, letting it slide off her shoulders and then tossing it onto the nearby desk to cover his Duel Disk. Then, she sits at the side of the bed. Her darker clothes contrast her paler skin and lighter hair down around her shoulders framing her face. Behind her the moonlight shines through the window. It must give the impression of something otherworldly when she is everything besides that.

Should he feel the pull to her and turn, he'll see that simple display. She removes the fingerless gloves and discards them to the floor. Her arms raise, gently out stretched towards him, silently asking him to join her in the light that gives her namesake. It is only a few steps, but she is certain that small distance must seem like a ravine in his mind. One that she sits on the other side of to embrace him if he'll simply make the choice to do so. ]

[ifthereiswill]

[ He can't know the ins and outs of the duty and responsibility assigned to the Oracle, but he does know a thing or two about feeling as though one must do what they must, to fulfill their destiny and the obligations that come along with that. Was that not the case with himself and his stepping into the role of Pharaoh? His circumstances were a little different, but he ascended to the throne because his father had died and a Pharaoh was needed. It was also his destiny to become Pharaoh, just as it was Luna's to become the Oracle.

But perhaps, by both of them stepping into their respective roles at relatively young ages, they had to put aside their childhoods and the innocence that came along with that. But then again, it seems as though both of them had grown up and matured earlier than most, so perhaps they were never meant to have a so-called normal childhood.

If he was fully in control of himself and his emotions, he might be able to identify his own feelings towards her as want and desire, but everything has been drowned out by despair and an uncertainty that has robbed him of what he used to think was a solid foundation that he could stand on. How can he open his heart to her when it's his heart that was sealed away just as Yugi's was? Only getting him back and apologizing for his massive error will set him back on the path to finding it again.

The will to fight and to continue moving forward is still buried deep within him, as that flash in his eyes has suggested, but that storm that surrounds him is drowning it out and keeping it silent.

Later, when he's himself again, he'll apologize for every wound that he laid on her during his period of being adrift without an anchor to hold him down. He might be motionless, buffeted by wave after wave of despair, but that part of him that is still fighting to come back to the surface is all too aware of what he's been doing to her. He will apologize for the repeated rejections, for pushing her away when she's trying so desperately to reach him.

When she steps away from him, he remains unmoving, eyes just as lifeless as they've been this entire time, but instead of a fleeting spark of life, this time, there's just a look of loss. Yes, she's only a few paces away, and he knows better than to think that her pulling away is her rejecting him, when he's thrown up so many walls between them in the course of this conversation (not that it's been much of one, since the power of speech has all but fled).

But her absence, even if it barely counts as one, has left him even colder. The place on his arms where her hands had rested feels cold now, and there's an ache in his heart that has been there this whole time, but for some reason, her action has made that feeling intensify almost to the point that it's become unbearable. Is this proof that he still has a heart? It felt to him that his heart had been cut off and locked away, taking all his emotions and will with it.

If this is proof that his heart is still alive and beating, then maybe he no longer wants it. Is it better to feel nothing than to be overwhelmed by feelings of guilt and loss?

While he's wrestling with his thoughts and how to process Luna stepping away from him, suddenly he becomes aware that his legs have started to move almost on their own, carrying him forward and closing the distance between himself and her. He might be lost in the storm, but one thing is clear: his heart is making his desires known.

He can forgo rest, because he still believes himself to be undeserving, but he finds himself craving the comfort that she offers, and the love she offers as well, whether or not he's really identified it as such. He might not have put a label on it just yet, but what other explanation is there for her actions? Why would she go to such lengths to reach him if there wasn't a feeling of love behind everything she's done? Part of him still wonders if he's wrong, if he's misinterpreting everything, but that part of him that still has faith and hope is telling him to no longer doubt himself or her.

When he finally reaches her, his hands latch onto hers, and for the second time that night, he drops to the floor as tears begin to fall once again, but his grip on her hands remains, clinging to her as if she's his only lifeline. ]

[guidingmoonlight]

[ The circumstances were different, but the situation is the same. They were to inherit what their parents and blood line left them. Perhaps they never had the chance to truly be children in a regard to others, but they understood that, and when the time came they took their respective places in the world. All that she can hope for is that he had friends and advisors to help him where she has not. Lunafreya would not trade Gentiana, Pryna or Umbra for anyone... but it would be a lie if seeing Yugi and his friends has rather opened her eyes to what she has missed in the world.

It is also this complex dynamic between Atem and Yugi that has made her realize this as well. Two souls bound so closely together that the loss of one has caused an unprecedented amount of damage to the other. She wonders who in their circle of friends might truly begin to understand it. Perhaps Joey? He too is a duelist and has that inner drive and force to propel him forward. Certainly he has been able to look at the Pharaoh and see the damage in front of him. He may act a fool, but, Lunafreya knows Joey closely observes all of his friends. If the Pharaoh cannot lead them in this moment, then certainly, Joey would feel the need to step up into the role with all that has happened. Tristan supports Joey, but Téa is the one that seems at a loss of what to do.

Lunafreya's outstretched hands falter for but a moment before he turns. Should it be her in this room with him? She is far from unintelligent, and one would need to be blind to not see the care and affection Téa has for both Yugi and the Pharaoh. Maybe it should be her in this room -- someone who knows both halves more than Lunafreya does. It is far from jealousy for the other woman. It falls along the lines that Lunafreya feels that she has stepped into a place she does not belong and taken up a duty that should fall to another.

After all, what can she offer either of the souls that Téa cannot? Lunafreya is the Oracle. She can bring a view of the world that none other might. Everything else... anyone else could do for the pair.

The doubt and feeling of being the other is masked and quickly pushed aside the moment he turns to her. Her hands curl gently around his the moment he takes hers. She holds them as he falls in front of her yet again. There is only the briefest of pauses before she rests his hands at her waist in order to guide his head to rest in her lap. Her fingers return to his hair, soothing the strands down in an attempt to reassure him that she will remain as long as he wishes her to.

It is only after his tears once again subside that she moves to remove Yugi's school jacket from. He may refuse to sleep or rest but his body will say otherwise at some point. She gently tosses the jacket to where her shawl is and gently pats the bed for him to lay down on. Then, she closes the curtains of the one window in the room. She gives another reassuring squeezes to his arm before moving to collect their ancient relics. The Trident is placed against the wall beside the bed, and the utmost care, affection and reference is given to the Millennium Puzzle as she places it on the nightstand.

With the lights turned off and the curtains blocking the moonlight and streetlights, Lunafreya eases herself down onto the bed beside Atem again. For now, she sits beside him, one hand resting atop his head with the other curling around his hand again. ]

[ifthereiswill]

[ If he were capable of telling her right now, he would say that he wants to give her everything she's missed, from having friends to just getting to live. It's possible that the reason he feels so strongly about it is because he didn't have very long to himself, between becoming Pharaoh, sealing himself inside the Puzzle, and then becoming the spirit that stands beside Yugi when he needs his help.

For the moment, however, he's much too lost in the proverbial sea of despair to articulate any of these thoughts to her. As to that circle of friends, there's a part of him that wants to reach out to them, to apologize for what he's done. Once, he had no problem thinking of Yugi's friends as his friends too, but that belief has been shaken in the aftermath of his rage and anger, and especially now that he's lost his footing and what used to be faith in himself and in his connections.

Those connections seem to be more or less severed, at least where Joey is concerned, because it's difficult to argue with a punch like the one he received from him. Of course he knows he deserved it. He would never say otherwise. And just as he knows he deserved it, he knows he has no right to lead the group. By failing Yugi, he failed them all. The memory of that punch is still fresh, and just briefly, as he's momentarily kneeling with his head pillowed in her lap, one hand reaches up to the place where Joey's punch landed, as if reminding himself of his anger.

He owes them all an apology for what he's done, but does he have the courage to even approach them now? He has no answer for that just yet.

And as for Téa, he imagines the look in her eyes, a look of sheer disappointment and disgust, and he shakes his head again. While he knows he ought to face them all and take ownership for his mistakes, something inside him withers at the thought of the looks he'll receive if he does. He's already fallen to the floor again, but his posture falls even further as the last bits of his courage take flight.

So, for all those reasons and more, he's glad that it's Luna in the room and not Téa. Luna would be well within her rights to level disapproval at him, but so far, she hasn't, and while he doesn't deserve her understanding or her care, he'll take them over the disappointment he imagines he'd see if he was face to face with Téa.

As she removes Yugi's jacket from his frame, he stays motionless until she's finished. And then almost automatically, he rises from his position on the floor, and approaches the bed as requested. No, he doesn't deserve to rest, but whether he's there on the floor or on the bed, he remains certain that sleep won't be coming to him tonight. Perhaps it'll never come to him again.

While Luna sees to the Trident, and then to the Puzzle, he simply lies there on his back, eyes staring at the ceiling but not truly seeing it. When she rejoins him, his shame mounts yet again, and he wishes he could look away so he could hide the despair that's welling up inside him once more. It may very well be a long night for both of them. ]

[guidingmoonlight]

[ He would echo the sentiments given to her by her brother. Deep down, Lunafreya knows that both would be right. She has forgone being able to live as a normal person might. There is no other way forward in her mind. One day she might find one to love and to marry and continue her family line with. However, she is also very aware that might not be the case. The Oracle would pass to a daughter or granddaughter Ravus might have. It is a thought she has had several times over the last few years. Those thoughts however are farthest from her mind as she focuses on the present in trying to help the man in her hold place the pieces of his broken self back together.

It may be futile, but, it is her choice to help him. She has chosen to be at his side. Any can argue for the opposite or how ludicrous it might be, but, her mind and heart have decided. He has been brought to this time for a reason. If he and Yugi need aid in seeing that reason through? She will help them see it done.

Joey would argue he is far from angry that Atem lost the duel -- or lost Yugi's soul. He is angry that the Pharaoh has caved himself away from all of them and given up hope that they might retrieve their friend. Each one of them has a steadfast belief in him... save perhaps his rival. Kaiba, however, sees everything in his own way and must view it in that context.

Lunafreya remains sitting beside him. She attempts to discern what he might need, as clearly any desire cannot break the surface of his blank stare. Her shoulders fall as he simply remains there. One might think her actions fairly bold in this entire exchange. She removes her shoes with each foot then pulls her legs onto the mattress. Yugi's body is fairly smaller than hers, but, she does her best to arrange herself around Atem to lay on her side. The hand at his head slips underneath the pillow and the one holding his uncurls. Instead of letting go of his hand, she spreads her fingers to slip between his. She rests their hands near her chest and is content to simply lay there in that fashion. Quiet, still, waiting for him to come back.

Her thumb brushes back and forth on the side of his hand - not that Lunafreya is aware she has done the notion. Her attention is entirely focused on him alone. ]

[ifthereiswill]

[ Much later, he'll look back on all this and feel shame for how he acted. Pushing everyone away, shutting them out- they're actions he won't be proud of.

Even being so unresponsive when Luna's doing everything she can to reach him feels like a failure on his part. But even as he lies there, eyes staring up at the ceiling, he can't even begin to think about what he might need. There's nothing that can be done tonight, and perhaps not even tomorrow, aside from getting on their scheduled flight. Of course the goal is finding a way to get Yugi back, but Atem can't even see a way to do that.

Just thinking about it is enough to send the waves of despair crashing back down on him, so he shoves all thoughts about that topic firmly away. Well, it isn't as firmly as he would like, because they remain creeping about the edges of his mind, but it'll have to do.

When Luna lies down next to him, he still remains motionless, but when her fingers twine with his, and again when she moves their hands so they're resting together, his fingers tighten just a fraction against hers. It's the only sign that he's responding at all, but it's a response nonetheless. Clearly, sleep won't be coming for him, but even he can imagine that she won't lie awake with him all night.

He'll just continue his silent vigil, mourning the loss that's affected them all in various ways. ]

:( and the breakdown continues, sorry atem

[dimefordestiny]

[ She tried her best, but, Lunafreya eventually drifted off into a light slumber. Part of her had hoped that if she slept it might ease Atem into some sort of rest himself. Although what ever solace the girl might have brought him was about to be dismantled by an unexpected force.

Kaiba had been deadly serious when he said he had no interest in dealing with losers. People that couldn't stand, fight, and hold onto something so important. It set an anger inside him that Yugi could be beaten by someone that none of them had heard of. At least Bandit Keith lost to Pegasus of all people. Then again, in his own way, it showed how much Kaiba respected Yugi as a duelist. Yugi the duelist of course to him is Atem, and he very much doesn't see the point in dueling the Little Yugi.

And for all his talk of not wanting to deal with occult superstition, Pharaohs, destiny, and magic? Some part of him does know that it is very much real. He knows there's an ancient spirit inside that stupid upside down pyramid that Yugi wears. He knows the God Cards house real living creatures (somehow), and he knows that he battled the Yugi he recognizes all those years ago in Ancient Egypt. Admitting all of that means admitting the fact that he can't control any of it -- and like hell he is going to do that.

It shouldn't be too much of a surprise then, for those that can read Kaiba like a book, that he shows up at the small little town in America. It isn't hard to track where the call from Joey came from. Hell, Kaiba wouldn't have bothered with any of it if there wasn't something very important that Yugi - Atem - keeps in his deck. If Atem was going to lose his title to a nobody, then, he didn't have the right to what is in his deck in Kaiba's mind.

Mokuba shouts from the car on the street that they shouldn't bother with it. Doma - Paradius - can be dealt with other ways. Kaiba would normally agree, but this time, their enemy isn't just in the mystical bullshit realm of Egyptian magic. It isn't just in their game of choice to wage battle. They own a part of every major corporation and have taken control of his company. Which means he needs all the firepower he can get if Atem has already been stricken down.

He walks into the hotel with a calmness and ease. A simple question in near perfected English grants him the information he wants. What room is Yugi Muto staying in? Because, everything is done under Yugi's name. The losers haven't figured out how to cover their tracks well. Long purple coat hanging off his shoulders and typical attire for a duel in mind, Kaiba quietly walks outside the office and down the doors. Then, he stops outside the one he is looking for. With a brief exhale he steels himself for what should be a heated battle of words.

He ignores the Do Not Disturb sign and throws the door open with all the force he can. Just to make his point. ]

Yugi--

[ The rest of what he was going to say catches in his throat as his eyes widen. It's not a sight he expected to see.

It's not the drawn curtains or the fact that damn golden necklace is on the nightstand. It's the discarded clothing on top of a Duel Disk, the shoes and gloves on the floor, and the person in bed beside the former Duel King. Kaiba recognizes her instantly of course.

What the hell is she doing in the bed next to Atem?

He didn't have the impression the two were that close. Allies because of the Ishtar debacle, but not like this. It's not even the fact that Atem might be intimate with anyone that's shocking. It's purely the fact of who it is and the fact that Kaiba clearly has missed out on something.

He swears to god, if it's a woman that's distracted him from dueling that made him lose his title...

During his mental gymnastics, the light has poured in, and his sharp loud voice has made Lunafreya sit to attention. Her tired eyes meet Kaiba's instantly. Despite the exhaustion on her face, there is a fire in her eyes that brims with the determination to fight anyone that might come for the Pharaoh she watches over. Her hand stops midway to her Trident the moment she realizes who is standing in the doorway. ]

Kaiba-sama...

What the hell are you doing here? [ Kaiba barks the question as if he has the right to ask it. He asks his next question in English: ] 'Don't you have some adoring public to go take care of?'

[ Lunafreya glares at the callous statement he makes. Kaiba doesn't care. He steps uninvited into the room and crosses his arms. His eyes go straight to the tri-colored haired former Duel King beside her. ]

'I'm here to talk to him,' [ he doesn't even want to say Atem's adopted name and continues in her native language, ] 'as a duelist. It doesn't concern you. Leave.'

[ Lunafreya sits defiantly in his demands and it makes his blood boil. She is infuriating. Everything around her is infuriating because of magic. ]

Fine, [ this time he speaks in his native language. His sharp gaze moves back to Atem. Part of him still can't figure out this whole arrangement. ] Yugi. You have something that belongs to me and I'm here to collect it.

it's okay, we can fix him... eventually

[ifthereiswill]

[ When Luna drifted off to sleep, Atem stayed awake, because there was too much going through his mind to allow him to follow suit. He just lay there, eyes still staring blankly at the ceiling as the hours slowly passed by, with nothing but his regrets and his guilt to keep him company. Of course, Luna was still right there next to him, her hand still twined with his.

But until the sun began to rise, peeking through a crack in the curtains, it was just Atem alone with his thoughts.

It isn't until he hears the door being thrown open with a loud crash and feels rather than sees Luna sit up next to him. He dimly recognizes the silhouette of the person who's just let himself into the room, and he thinks he recognizes that voice as well, even though it's full of a taut sort of anger tinged with frustration and derision directed at Luna.

Still, he doesn't have any more will or energy to sit up and pay attention to whatever Kaiba's saying, so he remains in the same position that he's been nearly all night.

When Kaiba finally addresses him directly, using Yugi's name, it's enough to get him to snap back to attention. But still, he doesn't speak, barely comprehending what Kaiba's saying: something belongs to him that he wants, and he's come here to get it. But he can't think of what that might be; as far as he knows, neither he nor Yugi had anything that rightfully belonged to Kaiba.

He just sits there next to Luna, still motionless, still unspeaking. If there's something that he wants, his few possessions are on the desk and the Puzzle is on the nightstand. Not that he wants Kaiba taking the Puzzle, or that he can imagine Kaiba wanting it in the first place, but whatever he's here for, he's in no mood to put up a fight. He could even go through his deck and take what he wants, and he wouldn't blink an eye.

Maybe that's really why he's here. It's a delayed realization, and it's still muted by all the self-reproach he's still throwing at himself, but maybe Kaiba's here to take the god cards. Well, he can have them. He doesn't need to be told by anyone that he isn't fit to own them anymore. ]