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synthneon2025-08-04 12:54 am
bubblesong) wrote in synthneon2025-08-04 12:54 am
Entry tags:
🫧 mcu/nikke || ❝ there's so much on my mind i don't know where to start. ❞
Mr. Stark is currently still in the workshop and nearly complete with a replacement arc reactor. Should I tell him that you are on your way?
No, that's okay. It's fine... thank you, JARVIS.
[ Little Mermaid quietly walks through the hallway leading to the workshop within Avenger's Tower. Barefoot, just as she would if they still lived in Malibu. The Tower has become home... in that sense it's the place they live. It's not really home to her and never has been. What makes it anything close to "home" is that Tony is here.
And, that Peter Parker loves coming to the Tower and working on things with Tony.
Little Mermaid pauses and frowns. She looks down at her hands. She's not mad that Tony snapped at her. Yelled at her, pushed her away. She understands something happened, and it's something he doesn't want to talk about. Something he doesn't want to talk about with anyone. The arc reactor was damaged and she didn't have the chance to offer even helping fix it as he had already snapped at her and had gone straight to the workshop.
She told Peter that he did a good job. Everything he needed to do in Berlin he did exactly as he should have. He kept more or less out of danger, and came home safe. Those would be the things that mattered the most to Tony even if he would never really say it out loud. Then again, he hasn't said much to anyone since Berlin and since coming back "home" from... wherever it was that he found Steve.
With a slow exhale, Little Mermaid continues walking down the hall. She holds her hand up above the door, letting JARVIS properly identify her, then opens it. JARVIS doesn't announce her entrance. Not that he would need to, as Tony most likely already knows she is in the room. Her hand gently pushes the door shut behind her, making sure it makes no sound whatsoever. She isn't naive enough to think that Tony hasn't noticed, because he always notices when she walks into the workshop no matter how quiet she tries to be.
She looks over at the familiar robotic arms and gives them a small smile and a little wave. At least it means Tony had more than JARVIS to keep him company over the last day or so. That's good--it means he wasn't entirely alone. It also just highlights in her mind how much she relies on Tony's company. She's missed not seeing him for the last twenty four hours. Of course, she misses him just as much when he has to be Iron Man, or when he does press meetings with Pepper far away, or has to go on business trips. This feels different... because he feels farther away than when he's physically not there.
The extra chair that usually she (or Peter) occupies is near by. She quietly takes a seat in it, using the ball of her foot to move backwards just enough to give him the distance she feels he wants. He's pushed the press, his teammates, his friends away, but never her. It's uncharted waters; a new dynamic to their relationship. She doesn't want to enter his space entirely until he invites her back. Even if he tells her to leave? At least he will know that she is still there and doesn't plan on leaving no matter the harsh words or tone he's used with her. They've been through so much already. Why would she leave now?
Couples argue.
That's normal.
Isn't it?
Her amber eyes lift towards the overhead screens that show the details of the arc reactor. A tilt of her head. Is that a new design? Maybe she's just not as familiar with the inside of the arc reactor as she thought. The outside design is one thing of course. She is very familiar with that--intimately familiar.
Little Mermaid's shoulders sag slightly as she looks back across the workshop one more time. There are pieces of his newest suit, which tells her once again it needs repairs or an entire retrofit. She can see from where she is at that the chest piece took direct damage from a slash motion. Which is why he would of needed to repair the arc reactor. She glances down with a small frown before glancing back over at the suit. Near the suit, she can see a hint of a blue and red circle with... claw marks? Her eyes dart once more back to the famous hardware her fiancé wears into battle.
She feels her heart sink as she realizes what it is and what it means.
Her hands flex but she folds them together. No. She has to wait until Tony invites her into his space. He has to feel it's okay for her to be there. That it's okay for her to see him like this. This isn't being frustrated at his company, or business, or politics. This isn't a panic attack. This is something else she doesn't know very well about him. Another piece of the puzzle she's been constructing for a few years now. Something else to learn about him and his life before she entered it.
Uncharacteristically for her, she has remained silent since she entered the workshop. Not even her customary sounds have been heard. ]
No, that's okay. It's fine... thank you, JARVIS.
[ Little Mermaid quietly walks through the hallway leading to the workshop within Avenger's Tower. Barefoot, just as she would if they still lived in Malibu. The Tower has become home... in that sense it's the place they live. It's not really home to her and never has been. What makes it anything close to "home" is that Tony is here.
And, that Peter Parker loves coming to the Tower and working on things with Tony.
Little Mermaid pauses and frowns. She looks down at her hands. She's not mad that Tony snapped at her. Yelled at her, pushed her away. She understands something happened, and it's something he doesn't want to talk about. Something he doesn't want to talk about with anyone. The arc reactor was damaged and she didn't have the chance to offer even helping fix it as he had already snapped at her and had gone straight to the workshop.
She told Peter that he did a good job. Everything he needed to do in Berlin he did exactly as he should have. He kept more or less out of danger, and came home safe. Those would be the things that mattered the most to Tony even if he would never really say it out loud. Then again, he hasn't said much to anyone since Berlin and since coming back "home" from... wherever it was that he found Steve.
With a slow exhale, Little Mermaid continues walking down the hall. She holds her hand up above the door, letting JARVIS properly identify her, then opens it. JARVIS doesn't announce her entrance. Not that he would need to, as Tony most likely already knows she is in the room. Her hand gently pushes the door shut behind her, making sure it makes no sound whatsoever. She isn't naive enough to think that Tony hasn't noticed, because he always notices when she walks into the workshop no matter how quiet she tries to be.
She looks over at the familiar robotic arms and gives them a small smile and a little wave. At least it means Tony had more than JARVIS to keep him company over the last day or so. That's good--it means he wasn't entirely alone. It also just highlights in her mind how much she relies on Tony's company. She's missed not seeing him for the last twenty four hours. Of course, she misses him just as much when he has to be Iron Man, or when he does press meetings with Pepper far away, or has to go on business trips. This feels different... because he feels farther away than when he's physically not there.
The extra chair that usually she (or Peter) occupies is near by. She quietly takes a seat in it, using the ball of her foot to move backwards just enough to give him the distance she feels he wants. He's pushed the press, his teammates, his friends away, but never her. It's uncharted waters; a new dynamic to their relationship. She doesn't want to enter his space entirely until he invites her back. Even if he tells her to leave? At least he will know that she is still there and doesn't plan on leaving no matter the harsh words or tone he's used with her. They've been through so much already. Why would she leave now?
Couples argue.
That's normal.
Isn't it?
Her amber eyes lift towards the overhead screens that show the details of the arc reactor. A tilt of her head. Is that a new design? Maybe she's just not as familiar with the inside of the arc reactor as she thought. The outside design is one thing of course. She is very familiar with that--intimately familiar.
Little Mermaid's shoulders sag slightly as she looks back across the workshop one more time. There are pieces of his newest suit, which tells her once again it needs repairs or an entire retrofit. She can see from where she is at that the chest piece took direct damage from a slash motion. Which is why he would of needed to repair the arc reactor. She glances down with a small frown before glancing back over at the suit. Near the suit, she can see a hint of a blue and red circle with... claw marks? Her eyes dart once more back to the famous hardware her fiancé wears into battle.
She feels her heart sink as she realizes what it is and what it means.
Her hands flex but she folds them together. No. She has to wait until Tony invites her into his space. He has to feel it's okay for her to be there. That it's okay for her to see him like this. This isn't being frustrated at his company, or business, or politics. This isn't a panic attack. This is something else she doesn't know very well about him. Another piece of the puzzle she's been constructing for a few years now. Something else to learn about him and his life before she entered it.
Uncharacteristically for her, she has remained silent since she entered the workshop. Not even her customary sounds have been heard. ]
no subject
[ Her intention hadn't been to make him feel worse. She looks down slightly before nodding to herself and raising her head. Tony is working through everything and she knows it. It doesn't hurt and he hasn't been mean to her. He's simply voicing what is on his mind. She isn't upset.
He leans his head against her shoulder. Little Mermaid pauses and turns her head slightly. She waits a moment, letting him rest. Then, she turns. Her arms come up around him and she holds him. Not tightly, not pressing him to her to aggrivate his injuries. Just simply holding him and letting him have the moment of rest he needs. ]
You can make it up to me by getting better! [ A knowing smile touches her face. ] But, I know that won't be enough for you! So, once you're better? We can go out for a date. Wherever you want to go. Even if we have to travel for it!
[ Tony doesn't show his love and affection for people like others would assume. It's by making them things, sometimes even spoiling them in his own ways. So, she thinks it best for him to decide what is enough in his own measure. Him letting her in again and accepting her help has been more than enough to make up for how he reacted. Even though she doesn't hold it against him. ]
We still need to design the suit you wanted to make me. [ A gentle brush of her hand through his hair. ] But, that can wait. We need to get you and Rhodey better first... and designing our own home! Once all that is started? We can make the suit.
[ And she will need to keep in touch with Peter to make sure he is doing okay. ]
no subject
[ She holds onto him, and he feels something inside himself almost recoil, but he pushes that feeling away. Out loud, he says: ] I'm fine. I'll be fine. [ He knows that's not what she means, but he's never been good at being anything but fine. ] But yeah, a date. We'll make it a really fancy one. Really special.
[ His mind is already thinking about what they could do on that date, because it's something else to think about, something not related to any of the crap that's going on. Was going on. Whatever. ]
The suit. Yeah, that's something I want to do. [ He's about to ask JARVIS to pull up the rough schematics he started working on when she says it can wait, and he feels himself hesitate. He wants something to do, something to work on that will distract him, but something tells him she won't let him go headlong into inventing mode. ]
But you probably want to do something else, don't you? [ It's not said in an accusatory way; he's just asking a question, or making a statement, because he's kind of in a headspace of just going along with things. If she says there's something she wants to do, he's not going to turn her down. ]
no subject
I guess I have to say it out loud after all. ]
I forgive you, Tony.
[ Sometimes both of them just have to verbalize the things they notice. ]
I want you to rest. I know you're fine. But, you can barely move. You have a concussion. You have to rest for a little bit. Okay? Then, we can go out on our date. We can plan the new house on the date! When it's done? The first thing we can build in the new workshop will be my suit. [ She smiles brightly at him. ] So, let me help you get ready and into the hot tub. I'll sit beside it and we can talk about whatever you want to talk about.
[ She feels as if being in her underwear is most likely as far as he wants her to go right now. Maybe she's wrong. She brought the bathing suit, but, she isn't going to push far into any direction. He can set the pace and direction. ]
no subject
She rests her hand on the side of his face, and he figures she can probably feel all the tension there. He'd push it away but he can't help but be tense right now. He always said he was great at compartmentalizing, or maybe he just thought he was, but right now, there's so much crap going on that even he can't box all this stuff up into neat little squares and throw it over a cliff.
She forgives him, and somehow... somehow, that makes it worse. He can't explain how or why, but he just has this terrible feeling inside, a feeling of just wanting to scream at something, to punch something, to do anything that would distract him from this feeling he doesn't know how to handle.
But punching and screaming wouldn't be the right thing to do, not now when she's trying to help. When she's suggesting things that they can do that are normal, things they can do together. She says she'll sit beside the hot tub and he just shakes his his head. The hot tub feels like a pointless idea, but he knows she'd say otherwise. So, if he has to sit in it, he wants her in it with him.
Maybe she won't pick up on that, but he's not getting in there by himself. ]
no subject
Little Mermaid frowns. Usually she is so good at reading Tony; deducing what he needs and what he is saying without him needing to use the exact words. Not this time it seems.
Usually the direct approach helps release the invisible valve that Tony keeps on his emotions--the ones he doesn't let people see. It seems all it does this time is tighten everything inside him.
Maybe talking isn't the right thing to do now.
She gently brushes her fingers along his cheek and places a soft kiss to his forehead.
Okay.
Little Mermaid makes certain he is alright to stand on his own, then quickly changes into her bathing suit. She helps him with his shirt, pants, and getting into his swim trunks. Then, she steps first into the hot tub. Her hands extend to help him into it, offering to shoulder his weight and balance given the injuries she can see.
Once he is settled in the hot tub, she stands in front of him. One hand gently rests on the side of his face again. She can see the damage to the casing that holds the arc reactor, as well as the bruises and cuts that have built up from whatever happened when he left to find Captain Rogers. Her frown settles deeper but she remains quiet.
The comfort she wants to give is a silent offer. Asking him if it's okay. Does he want her to hold him, or play with his hair? Would he rather just sit there and close his eyes and have her next to him? She isn't sure what is best for him right now. What he wants her to do.
She'll do whatever it is!
She just doesn't want to make him feel worse again. ]
no subject
Hey, you didn’t make anything worse. That dubious honor should go to me. It does go to me, actually.
[ He finally looks at her then, actually looking tired for about five seconds before he shoves that look away and covers it up with his usual too easy, to practiced smile. He knows she'll know it's not the one he gives her, because it's not genuine. It's rehearsed, it's something he does out of habit. But it's about all he can manage right now.
He doesn't really do very much as she changes into her bathing suit, and then helps with getting his swim trunks on. It should feel wrong, almost embarrassing, but somehow, it doesn't. It's not usual, but it's not embarrassing, and he really doesn't mind it. What does embarrass him slightly is how she has to help get him into the hot tub. He doesn't like needing help, and he doesn't like even thinking about getting old, but right now, he feels old, and worse, he knows he'd probably trip or faceplant if he had to do this himself.
But either way, he ends up in the hot tub thanks to her help, and once he's in it, he can't really stop the sigh that escapes him. It feels good being in the hot tub, and it feels good having her there with him.
She makes a wordless offer about what to do next, and while his answer would be something along the lines of "all of the above", there's one thing in particular that he wants, even though he doesn't really know why.
He reaches for her free hand, not gripping it tightly or uncomfortably, but just enough so that he can halfway raise it in a gesture that's meant to be him asking her to play with his hair. It feels ridiculous, and it probably is a ridiculous thing to want, but- well, he can be ridiculous sometimes.
Maybe part of him feels like he's earned the right to be a little ridiculous right now. And it's not until a minute or so later that he realizes he's mirroring her own silent communication with his, because apparently neither of them need words to actually say what they mean. ]
no subject
Still... it usually feels like it helps more.
Maybe this is just something that will take a long time to heal. If it ever does.
Her head tilts at his usual Tony Stark smile. She returns it with her own again, noting the more tired expression he had given her. Tony always signals how he feels in different ways from most people. Sarcastic self deprecating comments versus truly saying how he feels. Comments that can be flippant and maybe even hurtful to the party listening to it. That's just how he is. People who know him will understand most the time what he is really doing or saying, but, she has realized there is a limit on that from others.
She isn't vain enough to say she is the only one who can really notice him... but it seems that way sometimes. Especially now.
The comments made about the young man whose mother abused them at MTI, the jokes about his shoulder. The flippant remarks about Captain Rogers and his father. Little Mermaid has been watching them stack up, up and up. No one else noticed but her. Not even Natasha, who in the end, flipped as well.
She has to wonder if all Tony really has is her... despite his best efforts.
Her arms raise and gently guides him to rest against her bosum. Then, following his wordless request, she gently begins brushing her fingers through his hair. The gel easily comes apart thanks to the warmth of the hot tub. She can tell how he has already relaxed. Usually she would make a joking remark about how they were both right that the hot tub would help... but now doesn't seem to be the time to make any jokes.
They'll talk about the Avengers and the Accords once he has slept. Rhodey should be out of surgery by then. Not that she is entirely certain what happened in Berlin, and Peter could only relay what happened at the airport.
They have never really needed words to communicate. She learned a long time ago that Tony communicates what he really feels without words. ]
If you need to fall asleep for a little bit? It's okay. I'll be right here.
no subject
Yeah, that actually sounds pretty great. You know I’m not very good at the whole "rest" thing. It's driven everyone I've ever met nuts.
Brain tends to keep running diagnostics, worst‑case scenarios, reruns on repeat that I didn’t ask for.
[ He glances at her sideways. ] So I don't know how you're so good at shortcircuiting that.
And just so we’re clear, in case the thought entered your mind, you didn’t make anything worse. You never do, okay?
[ And maybe he won't actually fall asleep here in the hot tub, but if nothing else, he can just drift a bit and doze for awhile. ]
no subject
Instead, her head tilts forward. She doesn't kiss the top his head as her hand still works through his hair. Even once he's relaxed as much as he ever does? She continues the motion.
"You never do."
Her eyes close.
There's only one thing she can think to answer the question of how she can relax him. Maybe she took the idea too literally... maybe he will think she's just a silly girl who believes in fairytales... ]
I'm your magnet.