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synthneon2025-08-04 12:54 am
bubblesong) wrote in synthneon2025-08-04 12:54 am
Entry tags:
🫧 mcu/nikke || ❝ there's so much on my mind i don't know where to start. ❞
Mr. Stark is currently still in the workshop and nearly complete with a replacement arc reactor. Should I tell him that you are on your way?
No, that's okay. It's fine... thank you, JARVIS.
[ Little Mermaid quietly walks through the hallway leading to the workshop within Avenger's Tower. Barefoot, just as she would if they still lived in Malibu. The Tower has become home... in that sense it's the place they live. It's not really home to her and never has been. What makes it anything close to "home" is that Tony is here.
And, that Peter Parker loves coming to the Tower and working on things with Tony.
Little Mermaid pauses and frowns. She looks down at her hands. She's not mad that Tony snapped at her. Yelled at her, pushed her away. She understands something happened, and it's something he doesn't want to talk about. Something he doesn't want to talk about with anyone. The arc reactor was damaged and she didn't have the chance to offer even helping fix it as he had already snapped at her and had gone straight to the workshop.
She told Peter that he did a good job. Everything he needed to do in Berlin he did exactly as he should have. He kept more or less out of danger, and came home safe. Those would be the things that mattered the most to Tony even if he would never really say it out loud. Then again, he hasn't said much to anyone since Berlin and since coming back "home" from... wherever it was that he found Steve.
With a slow exhale, Little Mermaid continues walking down the hall. She holds her hand up above the door, letting JARVIS properly identify her, then opens it. JARVIS doesn't announce her entrance. Not that he would need to, as Tony most likely already knows she is in the room. Her hand gently pushes the door shut behind her, making sure it makes no sound whatsoever. She isn't naive enough to think that Tony hasn't noticed, because he always notices when she walks into the workshop no matter how quiet she tries to be.
She looks over at the familiar robotic arms and gives them a small smile and a little wave. At least it means Tony had more than JARVIS to keep him company over the last day or so. That's good--it means he wasn't entirely alone. It also just highlights in her mind how much she relies on Tony's company. She's missed not seeing him for the last twenty four hours. Of course, she misses him just as much when he has to be Iron Man, or when he does press meetings with Pepper far away, or has to go on business trips. This feels different... because he feels farther away than when he's physically not there.
The extra chair that usually she (or Peter) occupies is near by. She quietly takes a seat in it, using the ball of her foot to move backwards just enough to give him the distance she feels he wants. He's pushed the press, his teammates, his friends away, but never her. It's uncharted waters; a new dynamic to their relationship. She doesn't want to enter his space entirely until he invites her back. Even if he tells her to leave? At least he will know that she is still there and doesn't plan on leaving no matter the harsh words or tone he's used with her. They've been through so much already. Why would she leave now?
Couples argue.
That's normal.
Isn't it?
Her amber eyes lift towards the overhead screens that show the details of the arc reactor. A tilt of her head. Is that a new design? Maybe she's just not as familiar with the inside of the arc reactor as she thought. The outside design is one thing of course. She is very familiar with that--intimately familiar.
Little Mermaid's shoulders sag slightly as she looks back across the workshop one more time. There are pieces of his newest suit, which tells her once again it needs repairs or an entire retrofit. She can see from where she is at that the chest piece took direct damage from a slash motion. Which is why he would of needed to repair the arc reactor. She glances down with a small frown before glancing back over at the suit. Near the suit, she can see a hint of a blue and red circle with... claw marks? Her eyes dart once more back to the famous hardware her fiancé wears into battle.
She feels her heart sink as she realizes what it is and what it means.
Her hands flex but she folds them together. No. She has to wait until Tony invites her into his space. He has to feel it's okay for her to be there. That it's okay for her to see him like this. This isn't being frustrated at his company, or business, or politics. This isn't a panic attack. This is something else she doesn't know very well about him. Another piece of the puzzle she's been constructing for a few years now. Something else to learn about him and his life before she entered it.
Uncharacteristically for her, she has remained silent since she entered the workshop. Not even her customary sounds have been heard. ]
No, that's okay. It's fine... thank you, JARVIS.
[ Little Mermaid quietly walks through the hallway leading to the workshop within Avenger's Tower. Barefoot, just as she would if they still lived in Malibu. The Tower has become home... in that sense it's the place they live. It's not really home to her and never has been. What makes it anything close to "home" is that Tony is here.
And, that Peter Parker loves coming to the Tower and working on things with Tony.
Little Mermaid pauses and frowns. She looks down at her hands. She's not mad that Tony snapped at her. Yelled at her, pushed her away. She understands something happened, and it's something he doesn't want to talk about. Something he doesn't want to talk about with anyone. The arc reactor was damaged and she didn't have the chance to offer even helping fix it as he had already snapped at her and had gone straight to the workshop.
She told Peter that he did a good job. Everything he needed to do in Berlin he did exactly as he should have. He kept more or less out of danger, and came home safe. Those would be the things that mattered the most to Tony even if he would never really say it out loud. Then again, he hasn't said much to anyone since Berlin and since coming back "home" from... wherever it was that he found Steve.
With a slow exhale, Little Mermaid continues walking down the hall. She holds her hand up above the door, letting JARVIS properly identify her, then opens it. JARVIS doesn't announce her entrance. Not that he would need to, as Tony most likely already knows she is in the room. Her hand gently pushes the door shut behind her, making sure it makes no sound whatsoever. She isn't naive enough to think that Tony hasn't noticed, because he always notices when she walks into the workshop no matter how quiet she tries to be.
She looks over at the familiar robotic arms and gives them a small smile and a little wave. At least it means Tony had more than JARVIS to keep him company over the last day or so. That's good--it means he wasn't entirely alone. It also just highlights in her mind how much she relies on Tony's company. She's missed not seeing him for the last twenty four hours. Of course, she misses him just as much when he has to be Iron Man, or when he does press meetings with Pepper far away, or has to go on business trips. This feels different... because he feels farther away than when he's physically not there.
The extra chair that usually she (or Peter) occupies is near by. She quietly takes a seat in it, using the ball of her foot to move backwards just enough to give him the distance she feels he wants. He's pushed the press, his teammates, his friends away, but never her. It's uncharted waters; a new dynamic to their relationship. She doesn't want to enter his space entirely until he invites her back. Even if he tells her to leave? At least he will know that she is still there and doesn't plan on leaving no matter the harsh words or tone he's used with her. They've been through so much already. Why would she leave now?
Couples argue.
That's normal.
Isn't it?
Her amber eyes lift towards the overhead screens that show the details of the arc reactor. A tilt of her head. Is that a new design? Maybe she's just not as familiar with the inside of the arc reactor as she thought. The outside design is one thing of course. She is very familiar with that--intimately familiar.
Little Mermaid's shoulders sag slightly as she looks back across the workshop one more time. There are pieces of his newest suit, which tells her once again it needs repairs or an entire retrofit. She can see from where she is at that the chest piece took direct damage from a slash motion. Which is why he would of needed to repair the arc reactor. She glances down with a small frown before glancing back over at the suit. Near the suit, she can see a hint of a blue and red circle with... claw marks? Her eyes dart once more back to the famous hardware her fiancé wears into battle.
She feels her heart sink as she realizes what it is and what it means.
Her hands flex but she folds them together. No. She has to wait until Tony invites her into his space. He has to feel it's okay for her to be there. That it's okay for her to see him like this. This isn't being frustrated at his company, or business, or politics. This isn't a panic attack. This is something else she doesn't know very well about him. Another piece of the puzzle she's been constructing for a few years now. Something else to learn about him and his life before she entered it.
Uncharacteristically for her, she has remained silent since she entered the workshop. Not even her customary sounds have been heard. ]
no subject
He shouldn't even be in the workshop right now, not after Siberia, and not after the sound beating he got from both Steve and Bucky. ] You should see the other guy, right? [ The words sound more strained than he'd like, and more like a whisper, but even speaking is hard right now.
Mentally, he's beating himself up, kicking himself for how badly everything went from the second he came home to right now. He wasn't supposed to take out his anger and hurt and everything else on Little Mermaid, who's only ever been interested in helping him out.
The second that he yelled at her was the second he knew that he blew it. He'd yelled at her and upset her and he figured if she was going to leave, now would be the time that she finally did. ] Well, it lasted longer than I thought it would. [ He mutters to himself as he resumes work on the arc reactor.
When the hell did everything turn so bad? Obviously it all started with Lagos, and then the Accords, and then Barnes... Damn it, Barnes. There's a loud clank as the tools in Tony's hands fall onto the workbench and he clenches his hands into fists.
It only makes it more complicated for Tony, knowing that yes, Barnes killed his parents, but he was also subject to brainwashing at the time. It doesn't help, and it doesn't make it better, and it doesn't make his parents alive again. Sure, he didn't always see eye to eye with them, and he definitely clashed with his dad, but... he didn't want them dead.
There's a different sound then as Tony leans forward and his elbows hit the surface of the workbench. He presses his hands against his eyes in an uncharacteristic moment of... something. Being overwhelmed, being both sad and angry about his parents, definitely being sad and angry about how the Avengers essentially tore themselves apart.
When the hell did everything get so bad? He doubts now that things could be fixed, not when tempers flared and words were thrown around as easily as punches and kicks.
Part of Tony just wants to stop working on the last finishing touches of the arc reactor so he can just stop and sit and not think about anything, but he's so close now. The thing is almost finished, and the temporary stopgap he used won't last more than another half hour, if his calculations are correct. He didn't have a backup arc reactor just sitting around, but he was able to do his tech wizardry and rig up something that would last long enough until he fixed the damage and made it usable again.
But the thing is, he's tired. Exhausted, although he'd never admit it. That spot on the floor behind all the workbenches is hidden from prying eyes, and he could just flop himself down on it and stop thinking for a few hours. Or five or ten.
I'm such an asshole. Worse than an asshole. Maybe Rogers had it right, and- Damn it.
The one thing Tony hates more than anything is not being able to tell which way is up and which way is down. Being rattled isn't a good look for him, but he can't pretend that he's not. He can't afford to be rattled, not right now; the arc reactor might be almost done, but then there's the repairs to the suit, and aside from that, there's the fallout of dodging Secretary Ross's calls and a message from Rogers that he hasn't even felt like listening to yet.
It all makes Tony want to hop into one of his fancy cars and drive away from everything for a little while.
In the relative silence of the workshop, without Tony's usual music, there's not much way to hide anything, and the whir and whoosh of the hydraulic door catches his attention. He doesn't look up, and he doesn't stop what he's doing, having finally picked his tools back up again. He knows by the sound of the light steps on the floor that Little Mermaid has entered the workshop.
So, she didn't leave after all. Or she's packed up her things and she's going to tell me she's going. That's- it's not fine, but I deserve it.
But she doesn't walk up to him at all; she doesn't even say anything. He figures maybe she's just standing by the doorway, or she took one of the few chairs in the workshop. She'll probably leave eventually if he doesn't say anything to her.
And right now, he doesn't have anything to say. Not because he's angry with her; he's absolutely not angry with her. He's just out of words and more than a little out of steam. Or batteries. Something.
But he has to keep working; working is one of the few things that keeps him going even when he just wants to stop. The reactor is almost done; it just needs a few more adjustments and fine-tuning Tony's very specific, very detailed calculations. He wasn't on autopilot, exactly, but he knows his schematics almost better than he knows the back of his hand, so he did some of it almost automatically.
A couple more turns of a wrench and a precision screwdriver and a test to see if the thing even lights up and runs, and Tony calls the repair job done. Finally.
But it's just one step in the process of rebuilding. The arc reactor was priority, but now he needs to see what can be salvaged from his damaged suit, if anything.
He knows he should be trying to salvage what he sees as his damaged relationship, but he doesn't even know where to begin with that. Thus far, he hasn't even looked in Little Mermaid's direction, but as he slides the wheeled chair and the finished arc reactor over, stopping in front of the hand mirror he keeps for the times when he actually needs to see what he's doing when placing the reactor, he briefly looks to see if she's watching or if she's looking away. She could be staring at the wall and it would make sense to him. Why bother looking at him when he very obviously shut her out? ]
no subject
Remaining silent as he is now? That makes her worry more.
Her fingernails dig into her hands and she frowns.
Maybe he doesn't want her here after all?
Maybe a day hasn't been long enough for him to process what happened when he left to follow after Captain Rogers?
She knows Tony didn't want her near anywhere near the situation. He didn't want her at the front of the Accords. He didn't want her involved in Berlin. How could she not be to some degree? She may not be an official member of the Avengers. She may not even count as a hero. However, the Avengers are Tony's squad--his team. They're family to an extent. Losing her team had been devastating, especially now after all these years of still not knowing if Cinderella had been entirely successful. She couldn't stay back at "home" while Tony went to fight to keep his team together.
Even more so when he pulled Peter into the fight. Tony put her in charge of keeping in contact with the teenage hero. How could she do that if she was back "home" in New York while they were both off fighting to keep their extended family together?
The sliding of the wheeled chair makes her focus back on Tony from her wandering thoughts. He looks at her in the reflection of the mirror and she evenly meets his gaze. Her expression is one of concern, worry, and asking silent permission if she can be in the room with him. The last thing she ever wants to be is a burden or to hinder what he needs to do in order to be himself--to be Iron Man.
It doesn't matter if he yelled at her, was short, or was what some might say is borderline cruel. He's still her hero.
He'll always be her hero.
The glow in his hands catches her attention in the mirror. Oh! He's finished another arc reactor. That's why he's moved to the mirror.
Her hands curl into one another once more at a quick internal battle. She isn't scared of him yelling at her. She's scared he might push her away for good if she tries to move before he gives permission. But, she can't simply sit worried the whole time. What if he is trying to reach out and she misses it because she's scared? She already hurt someone who was dear to her--her best friend--by being scared and not taking the hand begging for help.
She can never do that again to someone she loves.
Little Mermaid makes her decision.
Her feet push the wheeled stool from the side and she expertly glides across the workshop. One foot stops the stool right as it moves right beside him. Her amber eyes fall to the arc reactor in his hands before slowly looking back to meet his gaze. Her heart sinks.
Tony is a mess.
Not only because of the obvious emotional struggle in his eyes, or the fact his whole body looks like its keeping itself together through sheer willpower and momentum. He has several wounds she is seeing for the first time and that large bruise around his right eye. Her own eyes widen slightly at seeing it properly since he's come "home." The bruise wasn't that large or deep before. What hit him after he went after Captain Rogers?
Little Mermaid frowns in worry. He's hurting so much...
Her hands raise between the two of them just enough for the motion to be obvious. Fingers stretch out towards the new arc reactor but never breach the space she perceives to be his own. Somewhere in between them. Generally, she feels as if he always wants her in his space and touching him in some way. Now, however, there is a need to have his permission to breach what she normally might do without a second thought. Her expression softens in an unspoken question:
Is it okay if I help you?
Not just with the reactor. His injuries, what he's struggling with emotionally, fixing his suit or building a new one if absolutely needed. Everything.
She understands if he tells her that it's not okay yet--if he needs more time. She'll keep waiting until he feels its okay for her to help again. ]
no subject
He knows that Little Mermaid is moving closer, slowly, an inch at a time. God, he wants to just turn around and pull her into a hug, ignoring all his injuries and everything else that he's putting off dealing with. All he really wants is to just hold onto her for a minute before he has to go back to dealing with how to fix his damaged suit and then try to fix himself. A dry huff escapes him at that; maybe there's no fixing himself. Not the superficial injuries, but the ugly stuff going on inside him: the kind of ugly stuff that caused him to snap at her when all she wanted to do was help.
His head turns slightly to one side as she stops beside him; he really would move more so that he could face her, but moving in either direction just makes his ribs scream and everything else scream too. So, moving is kind of off the table. Of course, he had to move around while he fixed the reactor, and that took more out of him than he's willing to say. He hates it, but he knows there's a look of exhaustion and mistrust and something else sharp and wary in his eyes. It's not that he doesn't trust her; he doesn't trust himself, not right now.
She reaches out, but she doesn't touch him like she usually does, and he notes the difference instantly. But that's fine with him, because right now, he doesn't want to be touched. Well, that's not quite it; he does, but being touched means being hurt. Not in a dramatic way, but- everything kind of hurts right now, and even the lightest touch would hurt too, he thinks. ]
I thought I said to- You know what, never mind. Forget it.
[ The words come out harsh and sharper than they need to be. He knows it the second they leave his mouth, but he doesn't pull them back. He can't pull them back. He’s bleeding from too many places that don’t show, and being kind would mean admitting how much it hurts.
Still, he sees the flicker in her eyes. The way her hands don’t retreat, even though they probably should. That only makes it worse. ]
You weren’t supposed to see this. Any of it. There's a reason why, when everything went wrong, I wanted you to stay in New York. I get why you wanted to come; I was glad you came. I'm- I was always glad to have you around. [ Just... right now, he's finding it difficult to be glad about anything.
He pauses, breathing hard now. There's sweat along his brow and pain in his ribs, and he knows that he sounds like a jackass. It's barely a defense mechanism, and he knows it makes him wrong, but right now, being sharp and biting is the only thing keeping him upright.
Still, her hand is there: open, waiting, not pulling away. He knows what she's asking him, even though she's not using words right now to say it. ]
You wanna help? [ He knows she can't help with everything, with the things that can't be seen or touched. He should tell her to leave again, but he can't make himself say the words.
Instead, he lowers the arc reactor to the surface of the workbench, and his hand brushes hers in the process. ]
no subject
Not in a way that would make her turn around and leave the room. Not because she isn't strong enough to bear it all with him. It hurts her heart to see him in so much pain. The physical pain is obvious to her. How he sits has changed; the fact he is far from animated like he normally would be when he builds. The pains that shout out the most to her is the emotional and mental pains. The ones everyone else surely over looks when that crueler more jaded side of him comes out. The part that he usually tries to hide away from her, but is open for her to see at the moment.
"I get why you wanted to come."
Does he?
Little Mermaid knows she has never truly shared the full details of what happened to the Old Tales squad. She has given the basics and what happened to her, but never more than that. Not from a lack of desire to share them, but more she felt he had never wanted to delve deeper into all of her past. Tony not fully understanding why she was so insistent in coming to Berlin--outside of keeping an eye on Peter--is far from his fault when she hasn't given him all the information needed.
He places the arc reactor down on the workbench and brushes his hand against hers. Her fingers are quick to curl underneath his own and wrap around them. A quick and gentle squeeze--barely there in some regards--to communicate she understands more than what he is saying. He wants her help but doesn't want to say the things that wants to come out because he's in so much pain. He's hurting to the point he doesn't know which way to direct that hurt, so it comes out in the worst ways.
She nods to his question even if her touch of his hands answered the question first. Of course she wants to help.
Little Mermaid slowly reaches out to the chair he is in. Fingers curl underneath the seat to turn it towards her. Then, she rolls the stool she is into his space. Her knee slips between his and the other foot pins his chair down in a strength that surely surprises everyone that she has for her frame. Then, her hands gently lift his shirt up and reach underneath it. The glow from his current arc reactor can be seen through his shirt, making it easy to navigate where she needs to move. Fingers gently press onto the glowing surface before turning the face to the side and hearing the audible click that it has been dislodged. She leans in just a fraction more to be able to get her fingers around the old reactor and give it a gentle tug with that surprising strength she has.
The old reactor is settled into her lap before she grabs the new one and once more goes underneath his shirt to place the new one in. Her fingers brush along the sharp jagged edge of the same diagonal line that she had seen on his suit. Whatever he had been hit with damaged not only his suit but the casing for the reactor... and his reactor. It wasn't functioning properly, which means he was in even more discomfort because of the shrapnel in his chest.
Maybe he really should get the surgery to remove it...
Her head tilts forward to hide her face. Not so he doesn't see her expression, but so that he feels he doesn't need to look at her in his current state. A way to give him some sort of privacy but still be there for him. ]
They called what happened to Cinderella 'corruption', but, it wasn't like a computer program or a virus. Not in that way. [ The foot on the wheels of the chair pushes down once more so he understands that he isn't going to bite into this explanation or try to turn away. It's important that he hears it even if he thinks it doesn't relate at all. ] Before we were going to be deployed to help the Goddesses... she went in for fine tuning with Abe and Red--Red Shoes. That's when it happened. She was conditioned to turn against us--humanity--and the Goddesses.
[ Tony knows how Cinderella dismantled the entire squad. She doesn't need to repeat the injuries they sustained. ]
The Goddesses took her down and then they took her away to test on her... Abe found her and brought her back. She was Cinderella again, but we were scared that she wasn't her anymore. T-then, she killed Red Shoes. [ Where fear or horror might have filled her voice at that, there is a different tone. A harder and angrier tone; not quite satisfaction but something more along the lines of thinking the decision had been the right one. ] She left... and Abe said she tried to kill herself for everything she did. We were deployed to stop "Anachiro", because S.H.I.E.L.D. thought she had turned back into the heretic. Agent Oswald came with us to make sure the job was done... because if we killed Anachiro, then Old Tales wouldn't be failures anymore.
[ Before he can even interject or comment, Little Mermaid presses the new arc reactor into the casing in his chest. She turns it to lock it in place, listening to the mechanisms as it settles into place. ]
Cinderella wasn't Anachiro anymore, she wanted to do what was right to fix all of it. She killed Red Shoes because... because Red Shoes was the one who did it to her. Our own teammate corrupted her to see if we could join forces with the threat we were designed to protect humanity from. All those people died because Red Shoes ... [ Her shoulders lower then as her fingers curl slightly against the surface of the reactor. ] Losing them was like losing my family. I went to Berlin because I didn't want you to ever know what that was like after you already lost your family.
[ Meaning that she certainly knows his parents were killed. She doesn't know the details, but, she had learned at some point what happened to Howard and Maria Stark.
Little Mermaid finally raises her head to meet his gaze again. A hardened look is in her eyes that expresses then just how old she truly is and how deep her own hurts travel after all this time. Her hands leave from under his shirt before raising to him once more. Her fingertips barely brush along his jaw as to not cause him anymore discomfort.
The light catches her engagement ring. She has no intentions of removing it other than when she bathes or takes to the pool. She loves it. Honestly, she doesn't feel the need to have a wedding ring with how much she loves the one she has. Maybe he took his engagement ring off with how much everything hurts. Maybe it got in the way of building a new arc reactor. ]
I don't know much about this person that Captain Rogers left with. I don't know why he did. But, I know that, running away from something like this doesn't fix any of it. It doesn't fix what happened now or what happened before. It makes them worse. [ A few tears slip down her cheeks them before she moves his chair as close as she can with her foot. He doesn't get to pull away or to bite back at her right now. The tears and pain are evident in her tone then. ] Cinderella didn't run away from what she did. She stayed. She let them do all sorts of horrible things to try and make up for what Anachiro did.... she stayed.... she didn't run away...
no subject
Maybe he doesn't really understand why she wanted to come. She told him some of her past, of what happened to her however long ago that was. It seemed like it must have been a long time, but he wonders if NIKKEs process the passage of time differently. He can't imagine why they would, as they're very human in a lot of respects.
As for information concerning her past, of course Tony makes no secret of the fact that he really does not make a habit of wallowing in the past. He maintains he is not sentimental nor nostalgic, but that pertains only to him. If Little Mermaid ever wanted to share about things that had happened to her before they met, he would do his best to listen and file what he learned away, so that he might be a better partner or friend or whatever label they decide to put on their relationship. Assuming he hasn't totally destroyed said relationship, that is.
He feels her squeeze his hand and although it's brief and gone in less than a second, his lips start to turn up slightly before dropping back into a frown again. What would he do if she wasn't here to help out with things like this? Well, he'd manage, of course, and installing an arc reactor on his own isn't impossible by any means. No, he'd get by if he was alone. Not that he anticipates being alone, but there's a part of him that's just stuck in a "worst case scenario" mindset and that's really hard to shake off.
He just lets her move the chair however she wants, and once she gets into his space, ready to swap out the old arc reactor for the new one, he just holds still. He trusts her to do this, and he's reasonably sure she can manage it without him guiding her. It's an easy enough procedure, anyway, so while she gets to work, he just lets himself drift. It's not quite a zen-like state, as everything hurts too much for that, but when he lets his mind drift, it hurts a little bit less.
When she tilts her head forward, at first he's slightly confused by the gesture, but then he realizes it's her way of giving him privacy, but the problem is, he doesn't really know what to do with himself or where to look. In the end, he settles for just closing his eyes but he's still paying attention to her. He's reasonably certain she can tell that he hasn't drifted off; he's listening, he's awake (uncomfortably so), but he just decided that resting his eyes is a good thing.
Some bedtime story. Not that it's a bedtime story. But- yeah. Whatever. Shut up. She's trying to tell you about something important. He chastises that inner voice to just knock it off, he doesn't want to hear it.
And obviously he can tell that the sequence of events that she's relating to him is not a good one. Corruption, turning NIKKEs against humanity, murder... None of it is good, and Tony knows it. He'd have to be stupid to not know it. And part of him thinks that Little Mermaid still hasn't moved past these events; she might sound like she's just reciting facts and events but he thinks he can hear the upset in her voice. She's just very good at sounding unaffected, at least in this instance.
So far, he's been silent, but then she presses the new arc reactor into place and as it settles in and begins working where the old, damaged one didn't, he can't quite stifle a gasp as he reacts to the functioning piece of equipment beginning to do its job.
Tony opens his eyes again then, because he feels like he needs to explain and offer a kind of apology. ]
... Sorry, sometimes I can catch myself, but sometimes it just slips out. Go on, didn't mean to interrupt.
[ Losing them was like losing my family.
So that's it. That's why she wanted to go to Berlin and why she wanted to be part of the fight even though he was adamant that she not participate. It makes sense now, having heard what happened to Cinderella/Anachiro and Red Shoes and the other members of Little Mermaid's team.
Then she mentions the family that he lost and his jaw tightens and a hard look comes into his eyes. He's barely begun processing that, and everything surrounding what he's learned is just too close to the surface right now. ]
Trust me, I don't want to know what that's like either; or I didn't, before things fell apart in spectacular fashion. [ Now he gets the meaning of "ignorance is bliss". Not that he was ever really ignorant, but he was resigned to not having all the gory details. Now that he has them, he wishes he didn't. Maybe it would have been better that way.
Then, when he notices she's meeting his gaze again, he looks up to meet hers in return, and his eyebrows lift in surprise. The last time he saw her with a look like that, it was when they first met and she was locked up in a cell with the taser device he invented attached to the side of her head. But even then, this look is different: it's harder, a little colder, and older somehow. He knew that her age doesn't match her appearance, but sometimes it's easy to forget.
His eyes shift slightly when the light catches on her engagement ring; it makes him happy to see she's wearing it, and it also reminds him of what he stands to lose if she decides that one day, enough is enough. Sure, this is only their first fight, and while he'd like to swear he'll never do anything like this again, he knows he can't guarantee that. He knows quite well what his temper is like especially when he feels like he's been wronged. And in a way, that makes all of this worse.
Little Mermaid did nothing wrong, and he still lashed out at her. ]
Yeah, well, I wish that I could say I didn't know much about him. I know too much, and I wish I didn't. Maybe he's just a coward. Maybe that's why he ran. What the hell do I know?
[ Tony's hand clenches involuntarily into a fist as if he's imagining himself punching something with Steve Rogers' face on it. It doesn't really help, but he didn't expect it to. ]
This friend of yours... Cinderella. Honestly? She sounds like a better hero than the heroes. Maybe all of you NIKKEs are. [ Minus the ones who got corrupted or had ulterior motives like Red Shoes. ]
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She won't leave just because of this one time. A time that's more than understandable with everything he has gone through. His team broke down, his trust has been broken, his suit and his arc reactor damaged. The reactor has always been a representation of his heart in her mind. The shield clashed into Tony's heart, physically and emotionally.
A blink with a mild look of surprise. She hadn't expected him to answer her at all. ]
Tony... [ Her tone instantly melts into the familiar one of love and worry.
Tony isn't just her partner, he's her hero. Not only because he saved her. He showed her how to live again. How to be apart of the world to whatever degree she was comfortable with. Now, he's hurting so much.
She hadn't expected him to answer anything she said. He rarely ever does when she talks about her past. He always listens, but he rarely ever comments on it. A sense of relief fills her. She wanted him to answer this one time--because it's more than just her telling him the past. She knows what he is feeling to some degree. She has been where he is sitting now.
One hand covers his fist and lays on it gently. The other gently guides his head to turn and look at her. Fingers brush along his own. Then, her left hand covers his own left hand. She makes a point to rest her engagement ring against his.
I'm here. ]
She was a true Goddess of Victory. Abe's Goddess of Victory. The most beautiful and powerful that Abe ever created. [ A small, sad, and almost painful smile touches her own face. ] The Goddesses were heroes. We never had the chance.
[ Being a Goddess of Victory...
Little Mermaid has given up on the idea of ever being a Goddess of Victory. She had her heroic moment when she saved Levi. That will have to be good enough. Tony doesn't need a Goddess of Victory--he needs a true friend and partner. That is a role she is more than happy to be for him and with him.
After all, she couldn't help her team or the Avengers stay together.
Her fingers gently brush over his engagement ring before she lifts her hand. A clear bubble forms at her fingertips before gently trailing up the same arm. She hasn't forgotten the "joking" question he passed to Natasha about his arm feeling numb. JARVIS had given her a full damage report of injuries sustained over the last few hours at her insistence. If his arm had already bothered him before everything at the airport? It certainly is going to be worse now.
The clear bubble wraps around his arm from his shoulder down to his finger tips like a glove. There is no pressure from the bubble, but depending on how sensitive his injuries are, it may still ache. She hopes not. The inside of her bubbles are always warm and she hopes it acts something like a heating pad. Something to give him a little bit of comfort when he clearly is feeling the farthest from that notion.
Her hand then rests against his new arc reactor. It's a new design on the surface, but she imagines it is the same inside. The arc reactor most likely is at least helping the discomfort in his chest. If the other had been damaged to the point that it was malfunctioning? The shrapnel most likely was causing added distress and pain. ]
I... [ Little Mermaid looks down briefly with one of her usual sounds leaving her. She locks her eyes with his, and then leans in closer. ] I don't say it enough... and I should say it more
[ She would say it every day if she felt he would be receptive to the words. He says it in his own way every day. She adapted to it instantly and says it back in the same way. Even so? Words are powerful and sometimes need to be said.
Little Mermaid gently brushes her lips to his cheek in hopes it doesn't make his aches worse. ]
I'm right here. By your side. Where I have been and where I'll be. [ Another brush of her lips to his temple. ] We're a couple, remember? You're my magnet... and I'm yours. A couple.
[ She smiles. ] I love you, Tony Stark. Iron Man.
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Maybe that's why he's so scared of Little Mermaid saying she's had enough, that they're done. Sure, they've only had one fight. But he lashed out at her when he shouldn't have, when all she's done is try her best to support him. Maybe he's the messed up one, the one who can't be repaired.
She says his name and his gaze shifts immediately to meet hers. A lot of the fire that caused him to snap at her in the first place has gone out, and in its place is just hurt, exhaustion, regret that maybe he made a bad call. Should he have stuck with Steve and made the others go along with him? Would he have done that anyway? He maintains everyone had the right to choose to sign or not sign, but would it have been better for keeping the Avengers together if he just signed? He doesn't think so. His convictions tell him that would've been a bad call.
He wasn't sure what he wanted to say in response to Little Mermaid's explaining her past and explaining the situation with Cinderella, but he wouldn't let that go unanswered, especially after she took the time to explain it all to him. ]
A Goddess of Victory. [ He's heard her use the term before, but never to describe herself. ] Maybe you never had the chance then, but you know what? You're someone's Goddess of Victory. [ He waits for a few seconds to see if she'll realize what he's saying without putting it into so many words.
While he's waiting, she brushes her fingers over his ring that's resting next to hers. Then, as he watches, she forms a bubble and before he realizes what's happening, she's manipulating the bubble until it covers the entirety of his arms down to his hand. At first, he feels a little pressure like his arm is being squeezed, but after about a second, the pressure subsides and all he feels is a little warmth. She might notice he lets out a small sigh as if feeling some relief from the bubble that's now wrapped around his arm.
His gaze had traveled away from her to look down at some random point, but then she speaks and as if she issued a command, his eyes immediately return to hers. Of course he knows the difference now between when she uses the kotodama and when she doesn't, but she has a way of pulling his focus even without it. ]
Damn, you sure know how to leave a guy speechless. In the best way, of course. [ It feels like it takes way too long for him to turn his head just enough to get it lined up for a kiss, but once he manages it, he leans in and brushes his lips against the side of her face in return. ]
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Why would she ever refer to herself that way? She has done nothing to earn such a title. At one point Levi may have called her that with the heroic sacrifice she did in order to keep Levi safe. That was decades ago and the last person to remember her outside of Stane and the research group. Even now, after meeting Tony, what has she done to have earned the title? She helped save him from the missiles that struck their Malibu home... and she had saved some lives in Sokovia. Nothing grand or amazing to earn such a title.
A Goddess of Victory should be someone that people look up to as inspiration. Someone that can save humanity. Someone powerful and beautiful. That was why Cinderella was the best of the Old Tales for the title. She fit all those things naturally, even after the corruption from Red Shoes. She was inspiring and gave hope to people.
Then, her eyes widen.
Tony often surprises her, and a few of those times has struck down to the woman deep beneath the machinery and conditioning that creates a NIKKE. Seeing the sunrise for the first time in decades, giving her the engagement ring on the ruins of their Malibu ho me, and now when it seems like everything he has built since becoming Iron Man is on the brink of collapse. Times that will never erode in her memory no matter how old they become.
Tony's Goddess of Victory...
She tilts her head into his kiss so he can make the motion easier. It's not hard to see that he's struggling to move. None of it should be a surprise as he went up against a super soldier. Someone that she was designed to inherit. Tony often refers to himself as "a man in a tin can." A normal person who has extraordinary technology. He fared amazingly well for that description and the people he was up against--because he came home.
Little Mermaid smiles at him with the joy easy to see and to also feel. Tears are in her eyes. ]
Someone told me once that I knew how to 'hit a guy right in the arc reactor.' [ Tears are evident in her tone but also nothing short of a pure form of joy. Love. Her fingers press to his arc reactor as the other gently moves up and down his arm encased in bubbles in hopes of massaging away the pain. ] Someone who also said little moments like these give him a reason to keep pushing. Someone who, despite every thing, is still cool in my eyes. Suit or no suit.
[ Both her hands raise to gently cup either side of his face between them. ] So, I'll make sure to keep making moments like these for that someone. I'll do everything I can to be his Goddess of Victory that way he can be the hero he is... even when he thinks he's the farthest thing from a hero.
[ She presses a kiss to his lips and will apologize for the tears on his face once he's slept. ]
Because, my hero is cool and sometimes leaves me speechless too.
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He liked to think he was good enough at acting to cover it up, but breathing hurt and so did talking, which is why he hadn't done a lot of it since Little Mermaid joined him in the workshop. He was pretty sure at least one of his ribs was displaced, which really didn't make anything better. Honestly, Rogers’ shield and Barnes’ metal arm made for a hell of a tag team, and the fight left his ribs felt like they’d been auditioning for a modern art project called Regret. ]
"Cool"? That’s a new one. Usually I get "reckless," "arrogant," or my personal favorite, "needs adult supervision." [ He tried to smirk, but maybe he took one too many blows to the head and it was making everything a little slower to respond. ] Cool. I could get used to that.
[ He had to work to swat away the fog clouding his thoughts, because he wanted to be focused on her and on what she was saying, not on the possibility that he was concussed. For some reason, his mind kept coming back to the title Goddess of Victory, and he knew that he'd only ever associate that title with her. As far as he is concerned, she is his Goddess of Victory in every way that matters.
But listening to her talking him up, he can't help but feel as though he doesn't deserve her praise. He's not really sure how to articulate that when it's taking a monumental effort to not pass out right here.
Still, she believes it and believes him, and for Tony, that's something he's not used to. ]
You know, I’m not great at winning. Maybe that's surprising, but I'm really not. I can brute force punch my way through a fight, but it's not pretty. [ Not pretty like Rogers, America's poster boy. He wonders what Rogers' superfans would think if they'd witnessed the fight back in Siberia. ] But I keep getting back up for some reason, and I think you're a big part of that. I guess part of being my Goddess of Victory means you’re stuck making sure I don’t stay down.
[ Then he laughs but it still sounds like more of a cough. ] Let's just hold off on more super-soldier sparring sessions. My dance card’s gonna be full for awhile.
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Aouu... [ She frowns.
Another look over is given now that his arc reactor is in place. The tension and way he holds his body is obviously still in a great amount of pain. His shoulder and arm seem to have relaxed inside the bubble she's made for him. However, his gaze keeps drifting. It's like he has to fight to keep his gaze up on her whenever she speaks. He never has to force himself to keep his attention on her. Even when he is working she knows that he's listening to her or watching her out of the corner of his eye. ]
The only time I'll make sure you stay down is when you need to rest. Even if it's just for a few hours. [ The loving tone is still in her voice, but an undercurrent of worry has seeped into it. Thumbs gently brush along his cheeks as she looks his face over once more. The bruise is the most obvious injury, but various scabbed over cuts deepen the story. One hand gently raises to hover over the larger cut on his forehead.
Oh... oh, that's what's wrong. Oh no. ] Once your dance card is open again? We can spar. It'll be away to test your suits for the future! I might not be as strong as Captain Rogers, but, NIKKEs were supposed to be the next super soldiers...
[ Little Mermaid moves one hand to his covered shoulder to gently ease him backwards in the chair. ]
Sit in the chair like this for now. Okay?
[ She stands slowly, moving her foot off the wheel of his chair, before moving down to the floor beside him. Her hands stretch out in a familiar way to produce a large clear bubble. It immediately flattens before she adds smaller bubbles into the structure. She made a mattress for him once before in his old workshop when his panic attacks took hold. It's been a long time since she made one for him. She can't have him trying to walk up stairs and back to their living quarters.
Absolutely not.
Little Mermaid eventually is satisfied with her construction and stands once more. Her hands stretch out for him to take. A firm nod is given for him to trust her to carry his weight. He boasted to Peter once that she could throw him without a care. She easily counters his weight with her own to help him rock upwards, then she is guiding him to lay down on the mattress. ]
JARVIS?
Yes, Siren? How can I be of assistance?
Turn the lights off please. [ Her tone is an unusually firm one to leave no questions asked. ] Route any calls to voicemail... even if it is the Secretary of State. Right now? Tony has to rest. Everyone else can wait.
Of course, Siren. I doubt Mr. Stark is rather in the mood to have visitors or unwanted phone calls.
[ Little Mermaid smiles worriedly as the lights turn off. The machines and computers still emit a low glow so it's not entirely in the dark. Just enough to highlight both of them. Much like the workshop in their old home. She squeezes Tony's hands. ]
Do you need anything? I can get it for you!
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He shifts slightly, wanting to sit up straighter but the motion pulls uncomfortably on his ribs and he has to stop. ] Pretty sure you make these bubble mattresses to tempt me into stopping moving so much. It figures, I mention that I like them once and then you keep making them for me. [ He hopes that the wide smirk that slides easily into place is enough to tell her he's kidding. He really does like her bubble mattresses, and he really likes the fact that he can usually get her to lie down next to him. ] Mission accomplished, yet again.
[ He does trust her to support him, to carry him (as embarrassing as that might be), and so he lets her take full control as she guides him to lie down on the mattress. Once there, he just lets his eyes slide closed, relaxing against the bubbles she formed to create the mattress. This is nothing like a water bed; it's better, more comfortable, and it's hers.
He listens to her talking with JARVIS, letting the calming sound of her voice wash over him and hearing the polite responses from his old friend who's been with him for so long now. ]
Damn right I'm not in the mood for visitors or calls. Definitely not calls, although visitors are more of a headache. At least with a phone call, you can screen it and send it to voicemail.
[ He remembers then that she said something about sparring, in response to his earlier suggestion. His fingers curl loosely around hers, and he winces just a little, as if even his fingers are sore and stiff. ] Sparring, though? Sounds like a great plan. Hey, you know what, I actually had a gym back at the old house. Did I ever show you that? Probably not. Or maybe you wandered down there on your own. Maybe I should see about getting one of those set up here.
[ After a moment during which he lets his eyes drift shut again, he squeezes her hands lightly, ignoring the twinge in them again and also ignoring how said twinge travels uncomfortably up his arm, even with the bubbles wrapped around it. ] You know what I need? I need you here, lying down next to me.
[ I don't want her going far.
Still, if she said she wanted to retire to their actual room, he might let her go. She's free to go wherever she wants, even though the one thing Tony wants more than anything is to always have her nearby. Call him a little clingy, but at least for right now, he thinks he's earned the right to be that way. ]
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Can you tint the glass too, JARVIS? No one needs to look inside right now.
Certainly. I wasn't aware you knew that function, Siren.
[ Amber eyes turn upwards to the ceiling with a proud and perhaps a little devious smile. She knows more than she really has shown. Not that she digs in systems behind Tony's back, but she doesn't keep a close eye on what JARVIS does throughout the building. Especially when working with the other Avengers, researchers and scientists. ]
Why would I stop making something you like? [ A tease can be heard in her tone. ] You make all sorts of things for people. I can only make a few things for you.
Shall I make a sign that notes no visitors or unwanted solicitations? [ Even humor can be noted in the voice of the AI. ] Will medical assistance be needed, Mr. Stark?
Uhmmm.. [ Little Mermaid frowns.
She would say 'yes' over Tony, but she has the feeling he will tell JARVIS 'no.' She doesn't think he wants any visitors of any kind. He probably wants to curl up in the dark and just stop for a few hours. The only way to do that for Tony is to cut off all communication with the outside world. ]
Happy showed it to me! He didn't like sparing with me. [ Something about being shown up twice by girls and it was a blow to the ego. ] Mmm...
[ A gym here...
Her thoughts get interrupted by him lurking his hand around her fingers again. Not that her thoughts had much to do; she has already made up her mind on the suggestion. She gently brushes her fingers against his before slowly moving down and joining him on the bubble mattress. She lets him direct where he wants her to lay so his wounds dont get aggravated again. The pain he had in his chest from inserting the arc reactor didn't go past her notice either.
Little Mermaid hesitantly rests her hand over the reactor. The other brushes along the bubbles on his arm to try and gently massage his arm. ]
I don't think we should build a gym here... [ She looks away as if there is a level of guilt attached to what she is about to suggest. ] Because we should have a gym in a real house. A house that isn't near the Tower...
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So, you figured out the tinted glass, huh? Great. Either Happy's been moonlighting as your tutor in all things technical or you've been poking around the system. Not that that's a problem, by the way. My system is your system, and if that wasn't the case, JARVIS would've gone BZZZT.
And for the record, that whole “curl up in the dark and disappear” thing? Not my style. I prefer “brood with expensive ambiance.” Makes it sound classier. Mood lighting, maybe a dramatic soundtrack. Very Hollywood, even if we're not exactly there anymore.
[ Her quiet suggestion about a real house actually makes him pause. The usual quip comes out first, because that’s safer. ]
A gym in a real house, huh? You know, most people drop hints like “maybe we should get dinner sometime” or “let’s adopt a plant.” But you know what? [ He lowers his voice conspiratorially. ]
I like it. I've never been the kind of guy who follows lists. Or steps. So, what's next? White picket fence? Matching doormats? Stark-branded throw pillows?
[ He lets a few seconds pass before he adds: ]
You might be on to something. Tower’s great for work, but a house... [ Then he laughs quietly, shaking his head at himself. ]
That’s dangerous thinking. Almost sounds like settling down. Don’t tell the press, they’ll think I’ve gone soft. Domestic, even.
[ There's another pause, a little longer this time, and suddenly Tony's forgotten about how bad he was feeling before Mermaid showed up and worked her way in next to him. ]
Still, if it’s with you? Yeah. I could live with that.
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[ It reminds her of the room she had initially in the Malibu mansion. When she would dim the lights and change them to reflect an ocean. It's something she hasn't done in a long, long time. There hasn't been a need to because she shares a room with Tony. And, her affinity for the ocean might come off as silly when she's the financée of Tony Stark.
Little Mermaid falls uncharacteristically quiet with his quips. Not even her usual sounds are heard. She knows he uses them as a defense mechanism, or when he's trying to not let people know how close to something emotional something strikes him. She's glad that the lights are off because it's easier to hide the emotions playing out on her face before she suppresses them again. She's good at keeping the things that are more hurtful hidden. The long decades spent locked away from everyone, seeing Levi get away and knowing she might be the last friend she ever had. Watching as she, Hansel and Gretel were separated from Cinderella and Abe. Anachiro destroying her jaw... all of that is kept inside and to herself. It's okay. She's handled it for years that way.
Feeling as if she doesn't have a real home can be placed with the rest of it.
Tony moved into the Avengers Tower and she went willingly with him. The Avengers and Stark Industries are his life now and have been for some time. It's why she has never once said anything about building a home or finding someplace to live that isn't the Tower or in the Avengers Compound. He surrounds himself with his work and focal point of his life--that's everything he's built now. She can't ask him to leave all of that simply because she misses having a place that's theirs. A place that they can ignore everything in the world and be themselves.
She shouldn't have said anything. She knows what happened to the Malibu mansion is a sore spot for Tony because of how it put her and Pepper in danger. ]
You had a house before. [ Little Mermaid carefully words how the sentence is phrased and constructed. She tries to put it in a way that not only doesn't show how much she misses living in a home with him, but also a way that won't remind him too much of what happened. ] Wasn't that settling down before you met me?
[ Her hand on his arc reactor curls and slightly pulls away. Unconsciously trying to pull into herself and hide everything that will make him upset when he's already hurting so much. ]
It's fine if we don't. It's okay! You don't have to settle down. We've been living here for four years now. It's home.
[ The Avengers Tower and Compound have never been home to her. She has done her absolute best to keep that from Tony so he doesn't have the extra guilt on top of his shoulders. He hasn't even expressed the thought of owning a condo, a home, or anything like it since Malibu. That means this is home to him and that's what matters. ]
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[ The quip fades as he tries to study her in the low light. His hand settles over hers on the arc reactor, keeping it there when she tries to pull back. ]
Was Malibu settling down? I wouldn't call it that; that was me building a monument to myself with an ocean view. And then you came along.
You know, I kind of liked the illusion that I could build walls high enough to keep the world out. Maybe that's part of what I've been trying to get back.
[ Part of him thinks he won't be getting that back, that illusion of safety. ]
Don’t think for a second that I don’t know the difference. Towers, compounds... They’re just bases. Workshops. They’re not us. They’re not a home.
[ Then he grins at her even if it's a little more strained than he'd like. ]
If you want a place that’s just ours, we’ll do it. Beach, forest, penthouse, hell, even a shack with bad plumbing. You say the word, I’ll build it. From scratch. Stronger than Malibu, smarter than Malibu... hell, maybe even shark-proof, just for kicks.
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I would have no need for a vacation. Unless Mr. Stark decides a new AI is more suitable to run the Avengers Compound, the Avengers Tower, his suits, and potentially a new home.
[ She falls silent again. JARVIS, while having a self deprecating quip of his own, has a point she hadn't considered. JARVIS would need to be in their home as well. It would be three major locations plus Tony's suits. Would it be too much for Tony's oldest friend? While she hardly doubts the capability of the AI, she wonders if it would simply be overwhelming. Ultron had nearly destroyed the AI. She doesn't want Tony to have to face that possibility again.
He has tried so hard to change himself, his image, his company and the world. Sacrifices are needed to such things.
She doesn't want him to have to sacrifice more of his family.
The low light makes details hard to see, but she still raises her eyes when his hand settles over hers to keep it on the arc reactor. He hardly--if ever--does the gesture. It makes her pause eher own thoughts and consider what he is saying without using the words.
"The illusions I could build high walls to keep the world out."
She blinks.
A stronghold to keep the world away and be himself in. A place to hide all the things that he has tried to hide since he came home from his confrontation with Captain Rogers and the Winter Soldier. Even more than that maybe. A place that been away from the constant eye of the press, running a company, away from people and connections. A place for just him, his technology, and the people he let in for certain amounts of time.
Does he really want a home and not a stronghold?
Her hand curls over the arc reactor again. Slender palm and fingers attempt to shelter the light from view. Tony's heart. The one that has been damaged and broken now.
The illusions of safety...
Once again, she picks her words carefully. ] A base ... and a stronghold... they're not just for defense. They're used for offense. Launching the fight, withdrawing, regrouping, recouping, then going out into the mission again and again.
[ Old Tales had something like that.
She tries to find his eyes in the low light. ]
I think... you need a home. Some place far away from the mission and the war. A place to have it all end. Even for a little bit. A place that is safe because it's not where the missions and the war are. A place that's... far away from the cave.
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If that was an attempt at getting away from it all, no can do, buddy. See, you're irreplaceable. So unless this mystery AI can make a perfect cup of espresso while negotiating world peace, I’m not interested. Why would I be, when I've got you, JARVIS?
[ Then he turns his focus back to her again. ] See, I don't know if you know this, but people- humans, whatever you want to call us, we like control. Being in control, having control, you get the idea. Having a base, a stronghold, it's all about control, about being ready for whatever hits next. Launch, strike, retreat, regroup, rinse and repeat, just like you said.
I know threat's out there; aliens are out there. War both on this side of things and in the galaxy far, far away is out there, but damn, sometimes I wish it wasn't.
[ He keeps looking at her, the look in his eyes completely serious for once. ]
Is there a place that can be far from that? [ His tone of voice suggests doubt. ] Maybe a cave's what I need. Except, well, it's not just "I" anymore. It's "us".
[ If it was just him on his own, he'd go find that cave, or the closest thing to it. But hiding himself from everything isn't exactly possible anymore, is it? ]
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[ Little Mermaid can feel that the comment is not simply because JARVIS is an AI created by Tony. The AI truly means what he says. She hopes that this comes from the growth that happened with Ultron. Tony rebuilt JARVIS better than ever with how JARVIS saved himself. But, sometimes, she worries she might find the hologram of his program in shambles and torn to shreds again one day.
Her gaze dips to the side. ] ...I know.
[ All that comes to mind is Red Shoes and good memories no longer come to mind when that name echoes there.
Little Mermaid returns her gaze to his. Her eyes lock onto his immediately and she understands. She has always understood to a degree that what happened in New York and in the wormhole shook Tony to his core. The horror of what is truly out beyond their control and their world destroyed what sense of protection and control he rebuilt after Afghanistan. He constantly pushes himself, his technology, trying to grasp at the feeling of being safe. She can remember his panic attacks in Malibu perfectly clear, and it isn't as if they have entirely gone away. They have faded with time but sometimes they resurface in horrible ways.
She isn't sure she'll ever be able to forgive Wanda for what she did.
"Is there a place that can be far from that?"
Little Mermaid pushes herself up to sit up just enough to be able to lean over him. Her hair falls off her shoulders to make a curtain to hide them. They've done something similar before on a bubble mattress. She hid him from the outside world for when he couldn't be the Tony Stark the world was used to seeing. Now? She intends to hide him from everything that scares him from beyond the stars. She can't make a physical space where that is possible, but, she can at least give him that illusion of safety.
She's his Goddess of Victory after all. ]
Yes, there can be a place like that. [ His tone suggested doubt, where hers is filled with confidence and affirmation. ] It already exists! And you found it.
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Backlog, huh? So what you're telling me is I'm in debt to my own AI. Great. That'll look fantastic in the quarterly report. Maybe I should finally figure out how to make that currency I was thinking about: StarkCoin.
You make it sound so damn easy. Like I just stumbled into the one place the universe can't touch me. Hey, J, you hearing this? I think she's saying she's my safe place. You might want to start updating the home security protocols to include "snuggly goddess perimeter defense."
[ There's a brief pause, and then his grin widens. ]
Don't worry, you're still my number one in firewalls and WiFi passwords. She just has the market cornered on the heart stuff. Man, I wonder what she's like on Valentine's Day.
I don't think I've ever "found" anything like this. Like you. Does that make you my portable panic room, complete with a hair-curtain security system?
[ He exhales again, feeling like he just needs to catch his breath because he's been doing a lot of talking; he leans into the space she's created around him, and for once he doesn't try to hide the way relief softens his features. ]
If that place really exists and isn't just some figment of the imagination, then yeah. You're right. I already found it.
[ And then he pushes himself up slightly to try and find her mouth for a kiss. ]
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[ Little Mermaid would normally smile or perhaps even giggle at how JARVIS returns Tony's quips--in his very polite but sarcastic fashion. Except she remains uncharacteristically quiet. Her eyes glance to the side and keeps her face as expressionless as possible. He... did stumble into that place. At least, that is how she has seen their relationship. He most likely wasn't looking for a friend or a partner. Neither was she to a degree. But, he asked in a way, and she answered loudly in her own way as well.
They again... maybe she's still too idealistic and naive. Maybe she really hasn't changed or grown up or matured from the days with Old Tales. She can imagine Hansel and Gretle teasing her over such a decloration. Cinderella telling her that the idea was beautiful but she can hardly protect someone from their inner strife. Abe would flatly tell her she had romanticized and simplified the idea far too much to even begin to be realistic. It doesn't matter what Red Shoes would have said.
Ooh.
The frown on her face is barely noticeable at the idea of how her sister and mother figures would have scolded and picked on her for the declaration.
Tony is a realist after all. ]
Please, sir. A WiFi password hardly compares to the encryption needed to attempt to contain another AI based on a stone of unknown origin from space.
[ Little Mermaid looks back at Tony once the conversation moves back to her. She smiles sweetly at him. ]
If you found it somewhere else, then you would be there with her. [ Her voice is gentle and an attempt at humor. Placing herself second or in a lower pedestal is normal nature. ] Maybe not a room... but if you need me to hold your hand, even when others are around? I will.
[ She watches how he moves before angling herself in a way to meet him in the kiss. She tries to be as gentle as she can, knowing that his injuries seem to be everywhere. A hand raises to gently rest on the side of his face and she tries to communicate all she feels for him in the simple gesture. She loves him.
All she has ever wanted to do is help him however she can. She can't fix trauma, nightmares, or the damage to his heart done by betrayal. She can open her arms and give him a place where he can not think about it for a while. A place he can hide from it all in. She'll protect him, put herself between him and everyone else. Her sisters and mother figures may have thought it silly, but, that's the best she can do. Especially if she is really his Goddess of Victory. ]
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Okay, first of all, J, that was one time. One. Time. [ He makes one concession for a snappy tone. ] And I’m never living it down, am I? Second, you've got way too much memory allocated to my greatest hits, maybe redirect some of that sass into something else, huh? [ Tony knows all too well that JARVIS is only doing what he was programmed to do, and of course he knows that the truth hurts. It's just that, right now, a lot of things hurt, and that's just one more piece added to the very frustrating pile.
When he catches Little Mermaid's expression shift into a quiet frown she tries to bury, his gaze instantly snaps back to hers. He studies her in that usual way of his, when he's looking at something that represents a puzzle or a challenge. Little Mermaid keeps a lot under the surface, hidden behind smiles and silence, but he's gotten used to deciphering what she isn't saying. Jury's out on whether he's good at it or not, but he at least tries. ]
If I'd found it somewhere else, huh? Nah. [ He knows he wouldn't have found what they have now in any of the girls who came traipsing through here, stayed for a night, and slunk away in the morning. That was never going to be a satisfying arrangement. ] You're not giving yourself enough credit. You’re the one who keeps showing up, and you're the one who stays. [ And she's the one holding out her hand even when he doesn't ask for it or even deserves it. ] You're the only one who's stayed. Well, you and JARVIS. [ But he's not interested in a romantic relationship with JARVIS, although he very much appreciates him. And he's just going to skate around the fact that JARVIS can't actually leave. Details. ]
You're not just some hideaway, okay? [ Tony's words are coming out slower now, as if he's carefully picking each one and weighing it in his mind. ] You're not just the place where I get to stop thinking for a while. You're the reason I can keep going at all. And... And I suck at saying it.
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My apologies, Mr. Stark. Would you prefer I reallocate memory to suitable security upgrades for a potential new home? It would, of course, require the information on what sort of home you would be building.
[ Little Mermaid glances at the ceiling. It seems like everyone is doing their best to adjust to how Tony is at the moment. His hurts are more than surface level. At least now he is letting people in to some degree. JARVIS is Tony's oldest friend. She and him can work together to try and help Tony navigate all of what has happened. Once he falls asleep? She may even ask JARVIS to show her the footage from the suit.
"...the only one who's stayed."
Tony Stark is a multilayered puzzle and she has learned how to read when he says certain things. Just as he's learned to read her as well. He says certain things in certain ways that truly shows what he is thinking and feeling. Abandoned, she thinks. Maybe even betrayed. Trust extended and when it mattered most to him? Broken. That's her read on the situation with what information she has.
Something happened between Tony, the Winter Soldier, and Captain Rogers. She doesn't want to make him relive it... so she hopes if she asks JARVIS for the information that he won't be angry.
Her thumb gently brushes against his cheek in hopes of not aggravating the bruise underneath the eye. Maybe the hot tub will help after he sleeps for awhile?
The reason he can keep going at all... ]
You don't always need to say things for me to hear them, Tony. [ She knows he is aware of it. Sometimes though, he needs to hear what he already knows. ] But... I'm glad to be the one that helps keep you going... and that it's not someone else...
[ She hopes that's okay for her to admit. Territorial isn't the word that she would use to describe it. Tony has so many people he could pick from to be that special person to him. The fact he picked her--and let her be that person? It's something very precious in her mind.
Her hand moves from his cheek up into his hair. Her fingers start to comb through it, moving the strands and trying to ease him. They weave in and out of his hair, then back down. They brush the parts she's de-tangled from the gel down. She's glad he grew it out again because it makes it easier to do these sort of things. ]
You make so many amazing things for everyone. If I can make a hideaway, even if it's just a bubble mattress? I want to. Sometimes even Tony Stark needs things made for him.
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JARVIS, reallocating memory to ‘suitable security upgrades’ sounds eerily like code for "World War 3 is on its way". Hopefully that doesn't happen, but... you know what? Yeah, look into security upgrades, if you don't mind. I'll whip up a more comprehensive plan later, but it's got to be somewhere by the water but it also needs a workshop and a swimming pool. [ In case the ocean's too choppy for a swim.
Sometimes Little Mermaid leaves him speechless, not knowing what to say or how to put what he's feeling into words. Right now is one of those times. He lets his head tip back into her hand and for a second he allows himself to be small and human and selfish. ]
You don't have to say things for me to hear them either, but I'm glad you do anyway. You're glad it's not someone else? [ He huffs out a quiet laugh. ] I don't know who else would put up with this whole hot mess thing I've got going on here.
Believe it or not, I'm actually really kind of fond of your bubble mattresses. They don't need to be fancy, they don't need a hundred bells and whistles. Who would've thought that a bed made of bubbles would be so great?
[ He chuckles, clearly amused by the irony of all this. ] Maybe there's something to be said for liking the simpler things in life. [ He could buy the fanciest, most expensive bed available, but here he is saying that all he needs and wants is a bubble mattress. ]
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Seeing his destroyed hologram had been heartbreaking. While the Avengers focused on Tony and being angry? She could only see the horror Ultron had done to Tony's oldest friend. How no one could see that Tony was shaken and scared.
It's obvious they still don't see that. No matter how long they spent with him, or the missions, or the money. They don't see it.
Why? He doesn't hide it... he sends so many signals and no one sees but JARVIS and I...
Her hand moves with his head and her gaze returns to him. ]
It doesn't need to be by the ocean. [ Even if she would love to rebuild a home overlooking it like they had before. ] You could of picked anyone... and you picked me.
[ That old romantic in her swells at the idea of it not being so simple as "picking." If they were destined to be together. Stars aligning, strings or invisible forces tying them together. She knows Cinderella would have described the idea in magnificent ways. But... romantic notion are hardly realistic. Tony isn't the kind for fairytales. ]
They're warm! It makes it easier to relax on. I could make it as firm or soft as you want! Sometimes... I think you just need something to help you relax. [ Her fingers brush down his hair. Then, her hand moves to rest over the bubbles wrapping his arm. Does he want her to take it off now? ] I'll keep making them whenever you need them! Or, when you want them.
[ She glances down at the bubble mattress. Then, slowly and delicately, she lays down beside him again. The hand remains on his arm to see if she needs to remove the bubbles. Her head hesitantly rests in his shoulder. She'll move if it hurts too much. ]
Uhmm... oooh... what do you hear? The words I don't say.
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You wanna know what I hear? [ He says while half-grinning to try and keep the tone light so he doesn't feel like he's spilling all of his guts to her. ] I hear your core humming like an orchestra that's slightly out of tune when you press in close.
I hear that hitch in your breath (kind of cute, by the way) when you're holding a hundred things together. I hear the stubborn little marching drums nobody else notices, the terrified bit that worries you'll get left behind and I hear the part that says "I'll build a bed out of bubbles if I have to" just to prove the world wrong somehow. That's you, loud and clear.
Oh, and you know what else? I hear promise. I hear sleep, when you let it. I hear me, stubborn and annoying, vowing to keep coming back. I hear "not alone." And I hear myself sounding like the world's corniest asshole, but at least this time, that's not wrong.
And yeah, I picked you, and I'd pick you again, a hundred times over. That pick is never getting rescinded, not for anything.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kon6GRfTHCE (le mood music)
He mentions her core and she shifts slightly into him, curling slightly as if to tilt her core away from him into the bubble mattress. There had been a time where she hardly thought of it, and even considered it to be something like his arc reactor. After the attack on the mansion, however, how she viewed it internally changed. How she views herself has changed. At one point the woman who was so ready to become something greater--to become a Goddess of Victory--thought trading her humanity would be a worthy sacrifice. Now, Ariel, wishes more of her humanity was in tact. If she had never become a NIKKE she never would have met the person she considers the love of her life. She and Tony wouldn't have been able to bond over the similarities that keep them alive. It's...
She supposes once the conditioning of how she saw herself broke, it never repaired. Just as how Tony was never the same after he learned how his company had been run and what the weapons he made did to people across the world. ]
You're not corny. [ Her tone shifts into the one that usually accompanies the look that shows her true age. ] Talking from your heart... how you feel when it's the two of us? There's nothing corny or horrible about that.
[ If anything? She is the silly dreamy romantic of the two of them. The one dreaming of a prince to save her if her friends couldn't find her. The one who wants to believe that they truly are each other's magnets, and not just in the nice verbal sentimental way. She wants to believe so badly that they would have found each other no matter what... because the alternative would mean the two of the would have gone through their pain and loneliness for no other reason than the world is a cruel place.
Her hand curls against his arc reactor as he has planted his hand atop hers to make she is grounded beside him. She blinks once or twice, gaze not quite meeting up to his in the barely lit workshop of the Avengers Tower. Should she say it? He has no problem with her sharing the emotions that always flow out of her as if she was made of water or truly a mermaid. He asks in his own little ways how she feels if he hasn't figured it out on his own.
But, this... would it be too much? Would he think it too silly, too naive, too fairytale of her? He had asked her years ago on his birthday if she had a prince. He has made passing jokes and comments about royalty and princesses because of her name. Never to be mean. Even when he snapped at her when he came back the day before? It wasn't to be mean or cruel at her. She simply pressed when she shouldn't have. He needed space and time and she acted too quickly.
She tilts her head down to hide her face with her bangs at the angle she's at. Turned into him so that her core tilts away from him. Trying to hide those things in fear he might somehow, even now, reject them. They have known each other for five years now. He would have a long time ago, she knows that. He knows how her body works on a mechanical level thanks to the missile. He knows these things, and she knows he knows, but some human part of her is still afraid he might find her too... naive. Childish. Not grown up enough to deserve the title of 'Mrs. Stark' one day. She's just silly stupidly too good Little Mermaid after all. ]
I... [ she pauses to try and control the emotions that suddenly flow into her voice. A mild sound of frustration and embarrassment at herself. ] I don't think... I picked you... I ... I think I was always waiting for you. E-even if there was a crowded room filled with famous people? Scientists a-and builders... you'd be the only person I'd see. The only person who could be my prince... because there's no one else who is my prince.
[ Little Mermaid gently nudges her cheek into his shoulder to brush her tears away. She does so carefully, as to not aggravate the numerous injuries he has from Captain Rogers and the Winter Soldier. ]
I'm sorry. You should get some sleep. It'll help with your wounds. [ Her weight purposely sinks into the mattress before can even insist she stays with him. ] I'll be here if you need me.
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Hey, look at me for a second. [ His voice sounds rough, as if he's strained his voice somehow; maybe he did some yelling when he thought no one was looking, or maybe he just talked to an empty space long enough venting all his frustrations to the point that he made himself sound like he has laryngitis. ]
Maybe you didn't pick me; maybe you weren't like the groupie type looking for their idea of their Mr. Right. You're definitely not some starry-eyed kid looking up at a poster of their favorite superhero. But you know what you are? You're solid. Consistent. You've been here. You've stayed, even when the room got really crowded and really ugly. Honestly, I'd ask you where you learned your patience from, 'cause I wish that I had half of what you have.
[ He pauses for a moment to give his voice a break. ] And for the record? Prince? Never been one. Not even close. Just a guy with some tools, some scars, and a bad habit of pushing people away. If I'm your prince, it's because you let me be that. That's it.
[ He shifts slightly, testing how much he can move and trying to find a spot that doesn't hurt when he draws her a little closer. ] Tell you what. We give the mattress a break before we wear an us-shaped dent into it. There's a hot tub three doors down. Jets, steam, no one to barge in on us. Might even get the old arm to behave and make you feel better too. [ He pauses for a second, tilting his head to one side before he asks: ] Come with me? We can keep talking there. Or not. We can just sit there and not talk.
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Together.
He brushes his thumb against the back of her hand. His forehead to hers. Little motions that they use to ground one another. Connect to each other when things are spiraling out. Amber eyes open and immediately lock onto his as he requests.
A smile tugs on the corner of her lips. She is a little starry-eyed when she looks at him. More than that, of course, but it is one of the many emotions she has to him. He didn't just save the NIKKE, but the woman he named Ariel. He may never see himself as heroic for that. It's okay. They don't need to agree on little things. Just the big ones.
Little Mermaid curls her fingers gently around the new arc reactor. Holding it gently as if she's holding onto his heart while his thumb moves along the back of her hand.
"Remember, Siren. You need to keep your hair shining. It needs to be as beautiful. Let your inner beauty look come through it. You never know when your prince will walk into the room and see you for the first time! You need to let that beauty be radiant!"
Tony may not agree. He may not see it as he was going to be her prince. That's another thing they can disagree on. She can believe the one to believe that they're destined to find one another and be together. Even if it makes her too childish and too naive to be seen as 'Mrs. Stark.' ]
I'll hold your hand when you reached out. Even if you don't physically hold it out. I promised. [ She tilts her head just enough to rest her forehead against his. Just enough for contact. Not more weight pressed to his injuries or his concussion. ] A promise is real. It means more than a contract. It's us.
[ She quickly glances down at his side when he suggests moving. The look in her eyes asks if he can move. The concussion is one thing, but the various amounts of injuries from Captain Rogers and Barnes is another. How he phrases it says he has already made up his mind that he wants to move to the hot tub and wants her to join. ]
Okay. [ A nod. ] After the hot tub? We'll try to move to our room... and I'll bring the bubble mattress upstairs. JARVIS?
I'll make certain the lab remains under complete lockdown, Siren. All calls will remain rerouted.
Thank you.
[ Little Mermaid slowly pulls away from Tony in order to stand up beside the mattress. Her hands extend to him, offering to ease him into standing. Her arm remains around him to help support his weight. The other directs the mattress to collapse back into a bubble and float along beside her. ]
My swimming suit is in our room though...
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You know, you've been holding my hand a hell of a lot longer than today. You might be the only one in the room who still wants to, so congratulations, you win the lifetime achievement award. Perks include... well, me, mostly, but also 24/7 access to a hot tub and swimming pool.
[ He shifts, testing his range of motion and when it becomes obvious that said range is barely anything at all, he does his best to mask the wince behind a lopsided smirk. ] You know what they call a hot tub? 100% medically necessary. [ He nods a few times as if to emphasize his point. ] And you know what else is medically necessary? Not sitting in it alone. You know, I read in a medical journal that hot tubs are 87% more effective with company, and you're company. Also, part of that is you in a swimsuit, and I guess I should probably get some swim trunks too. [ Never mind that changing into said swim trunks sounds like it'd be a headache, but what's a headache when already dealing with a whole host of bruises?
He draws a careful breath and braces against her arm as she helps him stand. ] I'm totally fine, you know. Absolutely not a walking X‑ray of bad decisions and bruised ribs. Yep. Just your average billionaire disaster after a bad field trip.
So, stairs first, right?
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A brief nod to show she understands the unsaid things. ]
You haven't been this injured before. [ Her eyes open and she locks her gaze with his. ] New York, Tennessee... Sokovia? You never came back this badly hurt. I think you need your hand held more.
[ Especially when so many of the Avengers left.
A smile. ] I agreed to marry you, Tony. I already signed for you for a lifetime.
[ A gentle press of her forehead against his to make the statement final. He's stuck with her.
She giggles just a bit. 87%? She feels he is making up things now. Tony has found his stride of humor again. That's good. ]
Huh huh, very normal. [ Another nod along with his banter as they begin to move.
One foot in front of the other. Out of the workshop. Down the hall. Into the part of the gym that has the hot tub and pool attached. Then, she eases him down onto the bench besides the hot tub. ]
Uhm, the bathing suit and shorts are up in our room... I can go get them real quick. Will you be okay here for a minute? [ Little Mermaid has the bubble settle down beside him. Tony hates being handed things. ] I'll leave this here until I get back.
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Gee, point out the obvious, huh? I was trying to go for subtle, because no one likes a whiny, dramatic patient. [ Not that he's a patient, but he figured she wouldn't like it much if he actually let how badly banged up he is show. Or maybe that's just his own thoughts on the subject talking. Vulnerability and Tony don't go hand in hand, after all.
Her comment about hand-holding earns a tilted head and a small smirk. ] Only if it's you doing the handholding. I don't let just anyone do that, you know. [ He wouldn't admit it out loud, but he finds himself thinking to himself that the world's becoming a lot emptier than he thought it was, and well, his suits aren't enough to fill in the gaps. Not that he'd ever admit out loud that he misses Steve or anything like that, but when they managed to at least cooperate, he wasn't half bad to have around. If they could look past their disagreements, that is. It seems as though they both found the dealbreaker. ]
It's not too late, you know. I don't often write in clauses for an exit, but- [ He lets the silence say what he hasn't put into words. Maybe someday the shoe will drop and she'll leave. But instead, he asks: ] But did you read the warning label, though? "Contains sarcasm, mild self‑destruction, and occasional explosions. No refunds, no exchanges, and definitely no extended warranty."
[ But then he glances down at the bubble settling in beside him, and with the barest hint of a protective note in his voice, he adds: ] Don't think you have to dash off because of me. Take your time, grab the suit or whatever you need. I'll be right here when you get back, bubble queen. I'll do my best to not look so much like roadkill when you come back.
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A really bad brawl.
She kneels down in front of him, her hands gently resting on his thighs. The Accords are a complicated affair that they will tackle after Tony has rested and is more healed from his injuries. She doesn't agree with everything in them, but the core idea of it is one she can understand. That wouldn't be a reason even on her radar for her to leave him. Not that she plans to ever leave his side. Not unless one of them meets their end. They aren't officially and legally married yet. That doesn't stop the 'until death do we part' sentiment being one she already believes in. One she truly has believed in on some level after they became friends. ]
Tony. [ She gives him a gentle but understanding smile. ] I said 'yes' in so many words. Even when you asked if that included the suits and the hot mess. That hasn't changed. It won't change. [ A hand raises and her fingertips gently rest on the cheek sprouting the bruise around his eye. ] So...
Yes. All of it.
[ The smile turns fond. Bubble Queen. Hehe. She thinks its cute.
Little Mermaid moves her weight forward. A kiss is gently placed on his lips before she stands. ] I'll hurry so you don't have to wait long. I don't want to make the 87% success rate of sharing a hot tub go down to 86%. The bubble can watch over you while I'm gone! Just tell it what it should turn into, and it will.
[ She then quickly leaves the recreational area. Absurdly quick even for her. Fingers pressing into the elevator, then the floor number, then moving to their quarters. She passes a few members of staff and barely acknowledges them and hardly answers their questions about Tony. The look on her face should say enough after all. Tony Stark doesn't want to be disturbed and he hasn't figured out how they should move forward now.
She grabs her suit (that she is fairly sure Tony rather likes more than he says), his shorts, and two towels. A change of clothes, because Tony has certainly bled all over the ones he is in currently. Then, she is back to the elevator, down the hall, and opening the door to the recreational room with the fabrics bundled in her arms.
A few steps as the door shuts and locks. The glass tints before she even has to ask JARVIS about it. She stops in front of Tony and smiles triumphantly. ]
Do we want to change here or...?
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Well, that's not ominous at all. Add in some tense horror theme music and it'd be the entire slasher movie package. [ It's probably a reference Mermaid won't get, but he'll explain it if she asks. ]
Hey, would you look at that: express delivery. Amazon's got nothing on you. You even beat their one-day shipping policy. But hey, you really didn't have to sprint like that. I'm not going anywhere. Closest I'm getting to moving right now is blinking.
[ But then he grins widely at her, hoping the expression doesn't look too weird with the bruising and everything else he's got going on. ]
At least now we can pretend we're taking doctor’s orders: soak in hot water, avoid catastrophic thoughts. Pretty sure that's medical science. And since you asked, changing here's fine by me. Privacy field's up, bubble's standing guard, and JARVIS will pretend to avert his sensors like a gentleman. Right, buddy?
Of course, sir.
[ Tony's grin widens and he tips a wink at Mermaid. ] See? Nothing at all to worry about here. But you might wanna turn around though; wouldn't want to scandalize the bubble, or you, but mostly the bubble.
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A certain look is given to Tony at his quip. She knows he is joking. However, she wants him to feel safe and cared for. Most would say they are already married, regardless if they have the legal binding contract or not. ]
It isn't that you would be going anywhere. You've been in pain since you got back... and had to fix the arc reactor. You need to rest now. I shouldn't take my time when you're hurting. [ She pauses. ] I know you needed time to yourself to work through things; that you needed time to let me back in so you didn't lash out again. I don't want you to wait in pain any longer than you need to... that's all.
[ She smiles back at him. Far from a grin, and instead, the sweet and loving smile she gives him in the moments he needs tenderness.
With a tad of a teasing look in her eyes, Little Mermaid turns so her back is facing him. Her arms reach up and pull off the shirt she wears. Then, she takes off the leggings. She half-turns to him with the same smile on her face. ]
Uhmm, did you want to help or should I keep going? I can help you too!
[ It's more than just a gentle sensual tease. It's also a test to see how his range of motion is. How much he wants to move. If he would rather she simply help him get ready. ]
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He'd never admit it, but the words he'd use to fill up the space have basically run out. He's coming up dry, and he doesn't know what to do about it. ]
Damn, you really know how to make a guy feel like the biggest screw-up ever, while somehow making said guy feel like the most special guy on earth. Look, I screwed up by snapping at you. Sorry. I know sorry doesn't mean a damn thing, but I mean it. You'd think by now I'd learn, but I always do the same thing. Get mad, let it all bottle up, lash out- maybe I am like my dad. Did he do that kind of thing? I don't know, maybe. I got it from somewhere, didn't I?
How should I make it up to you? Fancy steak dinner in a three star Michelin restaurant? I can do that. Design you the most powerful, most capable armor ever? I can do that too.
[ He watches her as she turns around and begins undressing. He's not leering or being disgusting, just watching her without really thinking about anything in particular. Maybe that's one of the hallmarks of knowing something's wrong: when his mind is just blank or going bzzzt. ]
Do I want to help? You bet I do. [ He manages to inject some of his usual swagger in the words and he steps closer to her. Her shirt is already off, but he brushes one hand against her shoulder and debates for just a second about leaning his head against her shoulder. ]
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[ Her intention hadn't been to make him feel worse. She looks down slightly before nodding to herself and raising her head. Tony is working through everything and she knows it. It doesn't hurt and he hasn't been mean to her. He's simply voicing what is on his mind. She isn't upset.
He leans his head against her shoulder. Little Mermaid pauses and turns her head slightly. She waits a moment, letting him rest. Then, she turns. Her arms come up around him and she holds him. Not tightly, not pressing him to her to aggrivate his injuries. Just simply holding him and letting him have the moment of rest he needs. ]
You can make it up to me by getting better! [ A knowing smile touches her face. ] But, I know that won't be enough for you! So, once you're better? We can go out for a date. Wherever you want to go. Even if we have to travel for it!
[ Tony doesn't show his love and affection for people like others would assume. It's by making them things, sometimes even spoiling them in his own ways. So, she thinks it best for him to decide what is enough in his own measure. Him letting her in again and accepting her help has been more than enough to make up for how he reacted. Even though she doesn't hold it against him. ]
We still need to design the suit you wanted to make me. [ A gentle brush of her hand through his hair. ] But, that can wait. We need to get you and Rhodey better first... and designing our own home! Once all that is started? We can make the suit.
[ And she will need to keep in touch with Peter to make sure he is doing okay. ]
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[ She holds onto him, and he feels something inside himself almost recoil, but he pushes that feeling away. Out loud, he says: ] I'm fine. I'll be fine. [ He knows that's not what she means, but he's never been good at being anything but fine. ] But yeah, a date. We'll make it a really fancy one. Really special.
[ His mind is already thinking about what they could do on that date, because it's something else to think about, something not related to any of the crap that's going on. Was going on. Whatever. ]
The suit. Yeah, that's something I want to do. [ He's about to ask JARVIS to pull up the rough schematics he started working on when she says it can wait, and he feels himself hesitate. He wants something to do, something to work on that will distract him, but something tells him she won't let him go headlong into inventing mode. ]
But you probably want to do something else, don't you? [ It's not said in an accusatory way; he's just asking a question, or making a statement, because he's kind of in a headspace of just going along with things. If she says there's something she wants to do, he's not going to turn her down. ]
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I guess I have to say it out loud after all. ]
I forgive you, Tony.
[ Sometimes both of them just have to verbalize the things they notice. ]
I want you to rest. I know you're fine. But, you can barely move. You have a concussion. You have to rest for a little bit. Okay? Then, we can go out on our date. We can plan the new house on the date! When it's done? The first thing we can build in the new workshop will be my suit. [ She smiles brightly at him. ] So, let me help you get ready and into the hot tub. I'll sit beside it and we can talk about whatever you want to talk about.
[ She feels as if being in her underwear is most likely as far as he wants her to go right now. Maybe she's wrong. She brought the bathing suit, but, she isn't going to push far into any direction. He can set the pace and direction. ]
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She rests her hand on the side of his face, and he figures she can probably feel all the tension there. He'd push it away but he can't help but be tense right now. He always said he was great at compartmentalizing, or maybe he just thought he was, but right now, there's so much crap going on that even he can't box all this stuff up into neat little squares and throw it over a cliff.
She forgives him, and somehow... somehow, that makes it worse. He can't explain how or why, but he just has this terrible feeling inside, a feeling of just wanting to scream at something, to punch something, to do anything that would distract him from this feeling he doesn't know how to handle.
But punching and screaming wouldn't be the right thing to do, not now when she's trying to help. When she's suggesting things that they can do that are normal, things they can do together. She says she'll sit beside the hot tub and he just shakes his his head. The hot tub feels like a pointless idea, but he knows she'd say otherwise. So, if he has to sit in it, he wants her in it with him.
Maybe she won't pick up on that, but he's not getting in there by himself. ]
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Little Mermaid frowns. Usually she is so good at reading Tony; deducing what he needs and what he is saying without him needing to use the exact words. Not this time it seems.
Usually the direct approach helps release the invisible valve that Tony keeps on his emotions--the ones he doesn't let people see. It seems all it does this time is tighten everything inside him.
Maybe talking isn't the right thing to do now.
She gently brushes her fingers along his cheek and places a soft kiss to his forehead.
Okay.
Little Mermaid makes certain he is alright to stand on his own, then quickly changes into her bathing suit. She helps him with his shirt, pants, and getting into his swim trunks. Then, she steps first into the hot tub. Her hands extend to help him into it, offering to shoulder his weight and balance given the injuries she can see.
Once he is settled in the hot tub, she stands in front of him. One hand gently rests on the side of his face again. She can see the damage to the casing that holds the arc reactor, as well as the bruises and cuts that have built up from whatever happened when he left to find Captain Rogers. Her frown settles deeper but she remains quiet.
The comfort she wants to give is a silent offer. Asking him if it's okay. Does he want her to hold him, or play with his hair? Would he rather just sit there and close his eyes and have her next to him? She isn't sure what is best for him right now. What he wants her to do.
She'll do whatever it is!
She just doesn't want to make him feel worse again. ]
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Hey, you didn’t make anything worse. That dubious honor should go to me. It does go to me, actually.
[ He finally looks at her then, actually looking tired for about five seconds before he shoves that look away and covers it up with his usual too easy, to practiced smile. He knows she'll know it's not the one he gives her, because it's not genuine. It's rehearsed, it's something he does out of habit. But it's about all he can manage right now.
He doesn't really do very much as she changes into her bathing suit, and then helps with getting his swim trunks on. It should feel wrong, almost embarrassing, but somehow, it doesn't. It's not usual, but it's not embarrassing, and he really doesn't mind it. What does embarrass him slightly is how she has to help get him into the hot tub. He doesn't like needing help, and he doesn't like even thinking about getting old, but right now, he feels old, and worse, he knows he'd probably trip or faceplant if he had to do this himself.
But either way, he ends up in the hot tub thanks to her help, and once he's in it, he can't really stop the sigh that escapes him. It feels good being in the hot tub, and it feels good having her there with him.
She makes a wordless offer about what to do next, and while his answer would be something along the lines of "all of the above", there's one thing in particular that he wants, even though he doesn't really know why.
He reaches for her free hand, not gripping it tightly or uncomfortably, but just enough so that he can halfway raise it in a gesture that's meant to be him asking her to play with his hair. It feels ridiculous, and it probably is a ridiculous thing to want, but- well, he can be ridiculous sometimes.
Maybe part of him feels like he's earned the right to be a little ridiculous right now. And it's not until a minute or so later that he realizes he's mirroring her own silent communication with his, because apparently neither of them need words to actually say what they mean. ]
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Still... it usually feels like it helps more.
Maybe this is just something that will take a long time to heal. If it ever does.
Her head tilts at his usual Tony Stark smile. She returns it with her own again, noting the more tired expression he had given her. Tony always signals how he feels in different ways from most people. Sarcastic self deprecating comments versus truly saying how he feels. Comments that can be flippant and maybe even hurtful to the party listening to it. That's just how he is. People who know him will understand most the time what he is really doing or saying, but, she has realized there is a limit on that from others.
She isn't vain enough to say she is the only one who can really notice him... but it seems that way sometimes. Especially now.
The comments made about the young man whose mother abused them at MTI, the jokes about his shoulder. The flippant remarks about Captain Rogers and his father. Little Mermaid has been watching them stack up, up and up. No one else noticed but her. Not even Natasha, who in the end, flipped as well.
She has to wonder if all Tony really has is her... despite his best efforts.
Her arms raise and gently guides him to rest against her bosum. Then, following his wordless request, she gently begins brushing her fingers through his hair. The gel easily comes apart thanks to the warmth of the hot tub. She can tell how he has already relaxed. Usually she would make a joking remark about how they were both right that the hot tub would help... but now doesn't seem to be the time to make any jokes.
They'll talk about the Avengers and the Accords once he has slept. Rhodey should be out of surgery by then. Not that she is entirely certain what happened in Berlin, and Peter could only relay what happened at the airport.
They have never really needed words to communicate. She learned a long time ago that Tony communicates what he really feels without words. ]
If you need to fall asleep for a little bit? It's okay. I'll be right here.
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Yeah, that actually sounds pretty great. You know I’m not very good at the whole "rest" thing. It's driven everyone I've ever met nuts.
Brain tends to keep running diagnostics, worst‑case scenarios, reruns on repeat that I didn’t ask for.
[ He glances at her sideways. ] So I don't know how you're so good at shortcircuiting that.
And just so we’re clear, in case the thought entered your mind, you didn’t make anything worse. You never do, okay?
[ And maybe he won't actually fall asleep here in the hot tub, but if nothing else, he can just drift a bit and doze for awhile. ]
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Instead, her head tilts forward. She doesn't kiss the top his head as her hand still works through his hair. Even once he's relaxed as much as he ever does? She continues the motion.
"You never do."
Her eyes close.
There's only one thing she can think to answer the question of how she can relax him. Maybe she took the idea too literally... maybe he will think she's just a silly girl who believes in fairytales... ]
I'm your magnet.