Once, but that was then. That's not now. You wouldn't do that now.
[ His expression falls gradually until he's looking down again. He's not trying to go out of his way to be ungrateful; he knows (somehow, since the Dark Presence keeps screwing with his memories) that Jesse's done everything he's ever asked him to, but he still has doubts and worries, and he can't seem to keep a lid on them. ]
What if it's not our choice? What if it's decided for us? What if I... What if I can't do anything?
[ Those last times, Alan made the choice. He did the deciding, but something tells him that he may not always have that kind of control. Maybe choices will be made for him, things decided for him.
What if they don't get to choose how things go? ]
What if it doesn't let you choose?
[ Slowly, almost reluctantly, he lifts his eyes again to look at what's on the clipboard. ]
You've read them too, haven't you? What do you think about them? [ If she wants to help, maybe she can give input. Or maybe she can't, and Alan's just barking up the wrong tree. ]
no subject
[ His expression falls gradually until he's looking down again. He's not trying to go out of his way to be ungrateful; he knows (somehow, since the Dark Presence keeps screwing with his memories) that Jesse's done everything he's ever asked him to, but he still has doubts and worries, and he can't seem to keep a lid on them. ]
What if it's not our choice? What if it's decided for us? What if I... What if I can't do anything?
[ Those last times, Alan made the choice. He did the deciding, but something tells him that he may not always have that kind of control. Maybe choices will be made for him, things decided for him.
What if they don't get to choose how things go? ]
What if it doesn't let you choose?
[ Slowly, almost reluctantly, he lifts his eyes again to look at what's on the clipboard. ]
You've read them too, haven't you? What do you think about them? [ If she wants to help, maybe she can give input. Or maybe she can't, and Alan's just barking up the wrong tree. ]