synthneon | oceanview || ❝ two worlds colliding, there ain't no bargaining. ❞

You should check on him once you go back to wherever home is for you. Whoever is home--if you have someone. The protagonist in Alan's books didn't have one.

[ Not that this Alan is one-to-one the same as the man in the books her Alan wrote. Something tells her that thr inspiration Alan received was whatever this one went through. How close that is though... ]

"That's why you go after Deerfest. Real quiet like. Make it so no one notices." [ Tim nods. ] "Marketing? Maybe. But, you have been one of the town's big willing promoters since you decided to settle in. At least, that's what all the old timers tell me."

[ Beth quietly sits on the arm of the sofa and Tim takes a chair. She glances at Alan, trying to communicate he can sit wherever he pleases. She isn't going to dictate what he can and can't do in the home. Especially if they have to keep up appearances.

Attention moves to the telivision once the scene changes. "The Harry Garret Show", known for having interviews with each new Alan Wake project. The Casey books, then movies, and now the latest trilogy. Mr. Garret introduces himself, the visiting band--Poets of the Fall--and the big special guest: Alan Wake to promote his new book: Return.

Tim settles in and Beth crosses her arms. Mr. Garret turns and welcomes Alan to the stage, shakes his hand, and the pair take their seat. ]

"Great to see you again, Alan. It's always good to have you on the show. Welcome back and, congratulations on your new book coming up. That makes two completed series for you!"

I've been meaning to; there's just been a lot going on since I found my way back home. I do have someone, someone who's been waiting a long time for me to make it back.

[ She's waited too long for him, and he's only continued making things difficult for her because of the difficulty he's having adjusting. He wonders what it will take for him to finally settle down and be normal again. ]

That's a good idea. After Deerfest, people will be busy settling back down after everything. They shouldn't notice if the two of us take a trip. [ As for the rest of Tim's statement, Alan just shrugs. ] Well, we moved into your small town, and sometimes people don't like the intrusion. The least I can do is try to help out somehow.

[ At least, it's not too difficult for Alan to wonder if there's a connection between Bright Falls being the home of a famous author and income from tourism. If he actually lived here, that would be one of his main concerns. Maybe Beth's Alan thinks about that too.

He spots Beth's glance and he moves to set next to her on the sofa. He positions himself a little close, neither too close or too far away.

The interview starts up and Alan's attention turns to the television. He can't remember the last time he watched an interview he gave. The "interview" with Door doesn't really count, not in his book.

The Alan on the screen smiles, at least giving the appearance of being calm and collected but also engaged and just a little excited to be there. If nothing else, he's a good enough actor to pull it off. ]

Well, it's great to be here again, Harry. Thanks again for having me. Two series already. Sometimes I can't even believe it's actually happened. Maybe you should give me a pinch just in case I'm dreaming and can't wake up.

[ "Someone."

Beth files the information away for later. Topics like this don't need to be discussed around Tim--or frankly anyone that isn't a Buearu agent. They can find a way to play along and pretend to be the Alan and Beth everyone knows. Not that it would be hard. They're estranged and everyone in town knows that fact.

Bright Falls is small. Inevitably, everyone finds out. ]

"You should look into scheduling it. The two of you deserve time away from everything here. Beth's done enough for the town, and you've brought enough people in to keep it thriving."

[ Beth glances down. She isn't going to correct Alan. Technically, she was from Bright Falls already. Her Alan was the one who decided the move here. She didn't really have an official place after her accident. She lost the sponsor, the spot, the condo in Seattle. She was literally living in Hartman's clinic. Not that this Alan would know--or should know. ]

"And playing with the surrealism in your new series. You've always been good at selling it." [ Mr. Garret laughs. ] "Well, I've read the book to be ready for the interview. Obviously I can't say much--we wouldn't want an upset agent on the show!--but, I can assure anyone who had questions on Initiation will get them answered. You really knocked it out of the park with bringing it all back around and tying everything in from the start, Alan. That's hard to do for most modern writers.

"So, let me ask you about influences. We know the whole series was inspired by your initial trip to Washington State. I imagine that continued to be the influence and driver of the setting, characters. Did anyone in particular stand out for this book? Any place?"

[ Beth begins to shift the back of the wedding and anniversary rings on her finger. Tim catches the light change from it. He glances at Alan, to Beth, then back to the television set. ]

Edited 2024-10-28 06:32 (UTC)

What do you think, Beth? Would you like to go on a trip? [ He's surprised he manages to even ask the questions without stumbling over his words, because he knows this is all a ruse. He's not her Alan, and she and her Alan are hardly in a place to go on vacation together. I'd hate to see something happen to them like what happened to Alice and me. Maybe vacations just don't go well for me... or any version of me.

His gaze shifts back to the interview. Even if he and Beth's Alan aren't the same, they do share one thing in common: the ability to ham it up for the camera and an audience. ]

I'd say it comes naturally, but that wouldn't be the truth. You don't want to know how many hours I've spent looking at myself in the mirror rehearsing interviews. Yes, rehearsing them. I think I've given enough of these now that I know the basic questions, the questions everyone gets asked. And, well, if there's a question I'm not prepared for... that's what improvisation is for.

Well, thank you for taking the time to read the book. It means a lot, really. And as for an upset agent, I think anything you decided to say would be nothing compared to the things I've said. Oh, that was out loud, wasn't it?

[ The Alan on the TV laughs, and the audience laughs with him. The Alan sitting next to Beth marvels again how easily this all comes to him. To them. It's just like slipping on a mask, and then slipping it back off when it's over. Somehow, Alan doesn't like how easily they manage it. ]

Influences. Oh boy, here we go. [ The audience laughs again before Alan continues. ] Oh, that trip was great. We saw so much, and I took a lot of notes. Too many notes, even. But I can't say anything specific about who and what stood out; imagine the stir that would cause back home. I don't know if I could even walk back into town if I said just who I drew inspiration from and who I didn't. I might even end up becoming Public Enemy #1, if you can imagine that.

[ The audience laughs again, and this time, so does Alan, before he sobers up again and adds: ]

There is one person out there who definitely inspired me and stood out, though, but I'm not sure if I should say who it is.

It'd be nice. [ Beth answers immediately. No hesitation, no sense of lying. Time away from it all with just Alan. Almost like when they first met. It would be nice. ] Where do you want to go?

[ As Alan continues answering and the crowd laughs, Beth's demeanor changes. Her shoulders lower. Her gaze drops further. It's clear that she doesn't expect herself or anything to be mentioned at all. She spends so much time out of the limelight. Alan stopped asking her to attend functions and parties. Barry and Alice went. They became the public face and support circle for Alan. She heard the whispers of people wondering if there was martial issues. Rose did her best to stamp out the talk on her website, but, she felt it important Beth knew the public perception.

She twists the rings on her finger by their back again. ]

"Oh, man. If I get an angry phone call in the morning? I'm telling you first, Alan." [ Mr. Garret genuinely laughs along. ] "I think everyone would agree in saying that not every writer is expected to be a public speaker. I'm just hoping you don't feel the need to rehearse when you've been on the show so much!"

[ He reaches under the desk and pulls a copy of "Return" out to set upright on the table. The audience reacts and he smiles. Then, Mr. Garret turns back to Alan. ]

"I hear that small towns know the ins and outs of everyone there! Best not to put lots of names to faces." [ Another chuckle from him. ] "You can't lead us on like that and not answer! It works in a story, Alan, but not on an interview. Come on. Who is the big mysterious person that acts as the largest inspiration to Alan Wake?"

[ Beth shifts on the couch again. She almost gets up to leave the room. ]

Well, that settles that. [ He smiles, but he's serious too. Or, well, as serious as he can be when playing a part. ] How about somewhere with sun? [ He glances at her ankle, as if wondering if warmth would do better for her than somewhere cold or cool.

His words trail off gradually once he notices the changes in Beth's demeanor. Worry replaces any attempts at light humor as the interview goes on. Maybe it's not his place, as he's not her Alan, but he reaches for her in an attempt to take her hand. If she pulls away or gives a sign of not wanting him to touch her, he'll withdraw. But he wants to reassure her, even comfort her if he can. Whatever it is that's bothering her, he wants her to know she isn't alone. ]

Between you and me, I don't have to rehearse much of anything when it comes to your show. But also between you and me, that's something my manager doesn't want me saying, in case it makes other show hosts jealous. How I see it, though, is like this: you've invited me to your shows several times now, and so I just see it as brand loyalty. If someone else wants me on their show, I'm not going to say no. You just get thought of first.

[ The Alan doing the interview just grins and pretends to look slightly worried, as if being afraid of what fallout he might get from Barry later, but he just shrugs that off and keeps going when the show host pulls out the copy of "Return". ]

Hey, would you look at that? You know, I still can't believe it's finally real.

But yeah, small towns are very small, and that's partly why I like them so much. Sure, word gets around, and everyone knows everyone's business, but I don't mind that. Well, sometimes I do, but only sometimes, now.

[ He smirks at the audience, who laughs in response. ]

When I say that I don't know if I should say their identity, I mean it. They're a pretty private person, you know? I'd hate for that to get interrupted because I said something in an interview. Isn't it enough that you all know I have an inspiration?

[ He fakes a nervous look as he stares out at the audience, hamming it up intentionally, although there actually is a part of him that does want to protect Beth's privacy. ]

[ Neither will help her ankle ultimately. It's an old injury reinjured. Pushing herself to be someone she used to be in hopes of fixing her marriage. If she changed even just enough, maybe... maybe her husband will look at her the way he did when they first met.

Her gaze wanders as a frown tugs at the corners of her lips. She misses that... pull. It almost felt magnetic. Gravity. Somehow they always ended up in the same room. The same area. Each other's space. Even after they were married... the Casey movies... "Departure" and "Retuen"...

Now it's like he repels her.

She must have gotten too weird for him.

I always thought I would.

After all, Alan has had stress about books. "Departure", "Initiation." They had gotten through it fine before. "Return" should be no differenr. Yet, it's more like the book is pushing them apart. Which means she must have gone too deep into her job. The weirdness of Bright Falls. He wrote longer hours so she worked longer hours. The resentment of being at her job and not being there must have started all of their problems. At least, she thinks there should be resentment. Why wouldn't there be?

Why else would he write about the Lake House... and her and Estevez...

Alan continues to speak about his relationship with the talk show and it's host. ]

Warm sounds nice. [ Her voice is far away. Withdrawn. Things this Alan may recongize from his own someone. ] We'll look into it after Deerfesf.

[ Her fingers curl around Alan's hand just enough for him to notice. So he is aware she is acknowledging the gesture in good faith. He's trying. It feels that's more than her Alan is willing to do now. Or, maybe, she's not worth the effort now.

I can't even dance for him...

Beth's eyes raise just enough the moment her Alan mentions his inspiration. Someone who is private. Her heart gives a steady beat. Does he mean her? She can still be his inspiration--his muse--despite the fact they barely talk? They hardly see one another? ]

"Well, I'd hate to ruin our good relationship. Having number one on a best selling author! Wow! In seriousness, Alan, I think it's fair to protect someone's privacy. Not everyone wants the spotlight."

[ Beth's gaze lowers once more. ]

"Let's talk about something more publicly known then. Your dream team, I've heard it called in the industry. The team behind bringing the Casey movies and books to life--and now your new trilogy. You, Barry Wheeler, and Alice Madden. The Writer, the Manager and the Photographer. I gotta say, you three knocked it out with "Return." This book cover is stunning! She really put the work into bringing that weird vibe of the forests but maybe the skyline of a city as well. Sort of blending how this follows up "Initiation", I'd say.

How did that conversation go? The pair of you discussing how to do the cover and how your manager got to..."

[ At the mention of "the dream team", the dynamics in the room shift. Beth is standing up, hand falling away from Alan's. By the end of Mr. Garret's question, she's hobbled to the back door that leads to the porch.

It slams shut behind her.

Footsteps shuffle off.

Tim holds his arm up to keep Alan from going anywhere. A level look is given to him. ]

"It's best if you leave her alone for a bit, Alan."

Edited 2024-10-31 21:35 (UTC)

[ If Alan knew that, or at least, had more than an instinctive knowledge that doesn't quite belong to him, he'd insist on doing something to try and help with her ankle. Maybe it won't ever be fully healed, but there's things that could help, right? Massages, heat wraps, heat period...

Maybe it's not his place, since he doesn't belong here, but he can't just ignore that pull he feels to help. And the existence of that pull makes him wonder why Beth's Alan doesn't feel it anymore.

That feeling of needing to do something to fix the problems between Beth and her Alan only grows stronger the more he learns and the more he hears. But what can he do that would actually make a difference?

He looks sidelong at Beth, sensing that maybe she's pulling away from him. She doesn't owe him anything, and she doesn't owe him any favors or any closeness at all. In more than one way, he's a stranger to her, after all. ]

Or we don't have to do that; I just want you to be happy, and I thought maybe a change of scene would do you some good.

[ He's about to just withdraw when he feels her fingers curl slightly around his hand, and his eyebrows lift in surprise.

But before he can do more than keep holding her hand, something seems to shift again, and before Alan even knows what's happening, the conversation on the TV turns to talking about Barry and Alice and how they work together with Alan to get things done, and that feeling of a shift grows even stronger. It's confirmed abruptly when Beth stands up and she pulls away from him, and...

She's gone, heading for the porch. Alan holds out a hand but no words come; they would have been cut off by the slamming of the door anyway, but he made no attempt to say anything, as that feeling of it not being his place grew even stronger.

Then Tim speaks, gesturing to him to stay where he is, and saying as much as well. Alan's posture seems to drop slightly, and without a word, he stands up, crosses over to the TV and turns it off. Once that's done, he returns to where he was sitting and lets out a lengthy sigh. ]

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do here, Tim.

[ In more ways than one. ]

[ Tim waits until Alan is settled again before standing. He walks over, takes a seat to the side of the author. He sighs lightly and shakes his head. ]

Maybe you should answer the question as to why you're here. With us. [ His eyebrows raise. ] Beth would know faster than any of us... but I can tell you're not the Alan Wake that we all know. You're here in his body, I guess, but you're not him. Too many small things add up.

Like holding Beth's hand for one. I haven't seen Alan do that in... geez, a year? Maybe longer.

[ Tim sighs. ] Look, Alan. I'm guessing that's the name you go by. I'm not sure what caused all their problems. Beth would say it started with this new book. I think it started back with his last book. It didn't go well. It sold good, but feedback was all over the place from what Rose said. He probably felt pressured for the last five or so years to get a sequel out everyone is going to accept.

Plus, the Casey books were made into movies. I know that put a strain on things. They had a Christmas party during production of one of the movies, and Barry was trying hard to get Alan to move to New York or Hollywood for it. Obviously, Alan said no every time, but... well. It's probably best to ask her about it.

[ Tim leans back and gestures to the door that Beth left through. ]

I'd say start by asking what happened to her ankle. She didn't have the limp yesterday.

[ Suddenly, Alan feels uncomfortable, put on the spot. Tim's never made him feel like that before, but he's becoming all too aware that this isn't where he's supposed to be. Beth thinks he's an outsider; Tim seems to think the same. Why am I here then? ]

I would love to answer that question, but I don't know why I'm here myself. [ He expects Tim to shoot that down, saying he doesn't believe him, but Alan really has no good answer to give as to what he's doing here and why. ]

So things are really that bad between them. A year or longer? [ Alan shakes his head. He's trying to avoid drawing too many comparisons between this and his relationships, but it's hard to steer clear of it. ]

Maybe that's what I'm here for. Maybe somehow, I can help Beth and Alan figure things out. I don't think this should be the end of them, even though it's kind of not my place to think much of anything. [ He shrugs. ] There must be a way for them to work out their differences and go back to being happy together.

[ Eventually, though, Alan just falls silent and listens to Tim's explanations. It sounds to him that Alan's books and the pressures associated with being a writer contributed to stress in their relationship. The adaptations of the books into movies didn't help either. As for Barry, somehow that doesn't surprise him that he wanted Alan to move away from Bright Falls. It's not difficult for him to imagine that Beth's Alan shot that down every time.

So why did they fall apart so hard? ]

I'd love to ask her about that, but I don't know if she'll even talk to me. Why should she, anyway? I don't belong here, right?

[ Tim nods. The friendly demeanor remains, but, he didn't like hiding the fact he knew that Alan wasn't their Alan. It rubbed him wrong. If anything, this Tim seems the same. Maybe just a bit more aware of the weird and unusual. ]

Well, maybe it has something to do with what both of you wanted? You and our Alan, I mean. Our Alan may have had something you were looking for... and he just wanted out of everything going on. Marriage issues, book tour. That kind of thing. I could be dead wrong. Just, trying to think of what could be the cause of it all. You'd probably have better insight into that than me.

[ His gaze drops and he nods slightly. ] It used to be that they were inseparable. When I first moved out here anyways. If they were both in a room but not together? They'd somehow just naturally gravitate towards one another. No matter what. Now, you're lucky if they're even in the same room longer than formalities. From what I see, anyways. It might be different when no one is around. But, based on her reaction? I'm guessing not.

[ Then, a familiar smile touches his face. He leans back. ] I'm pretty sure she'll talk if you ask her the right way. If you're an author? You'll know the right words to use. She always told me Alan was good at reading and disarming her with just a sentence. Might as well give it a try, you know?

Edited 2024-11-04 08:00 (UTC)

[ Alan's feeling of being out of place only grows stronger as he sits here talking with Tim. He's not even sure why, other than that the Tim he knows is just as open as the one he's talking to now, but he's different. This Tim is more confident in how he talks and in how he carries himself; he seems more assured of himself in a world that is more than meets the eye.

... Or maybe Alan's just imagining these things. Maybe his perception isn't what it was. He thinks his perceptions about this Tim are correct, but anyone would say that about their own perceptions of the world and the people in it. ]

Maybe it does. I can't think what your Alan would be looking for that I'd have, but I know that I'd love to have some of what he has. Not the distance from Beth; I wouldn't want that with... with the person I care for most. But everything else? The successful books, the success in general...

I'd be lying if I said I didn't want even a fraction of that. But that's not all; your Alan is normal. Mostly normal, I guess. He- Well... [ Alan's words trail off, because maybe he shouldn't unload his issues onto Tim, who might as well be a stranger. This Tim hasn't dealt with an Alan who's losing his memory. This Tim doesn't know what the Dark Place is. ]

Forget it.

[ He doesn't want to put all this on anyone's shoulders, let alone a version of the Tim that he knows. ]

I'd say something about it being inevitable that all Alan Wakes have problems with relationships, but that's probably not very nice. [ Even if it seems to be true to a degree. Still, I probably shouldn't say that. ]

There must be a way for them to work through their problems. It's not too late for them. [ His expression shifts into a thoughtful one. ] I just wish I could think of something useful that would help.

[ Tim's statement causes Alan to raise an eyebrow. He's surprised that the other man thinks he can do much of anything to convince Beth to talk to him. ]</small. You might be giving me too much credit. Why would she even want to talk to me, much less listen to me? I'll give it a try, but I won't be surprised if she shuts me right down.

Maybe there's something to teach him? You'd know him best, I think. Given you're still both Alan Wake. Just slightly different. [ Tim speaks with an air of knowing in his tone. As if, for some reason, he knows more about other versions of people than he lets on. ] "Normal", huh? I'd like to hear more about that later. If you've got the time.

[ Tim nods once more to what Alan says. Not in a sense of knowing this time, but that he is listening and taking mental notes. Alan Wake having issues with marriage. It would track with Alan's character anyways. He's not an easy guy to love (in Alan's own words), but, it also isn't hard to see why someone would love the man. As he saw it? It was pretty easy to tell what about Alan that Beth had fallen in love with.

That had been a pill to swallow for Tim. ]

Talking to her is the best place to start with that. [ He smiles. ] It's good to hear someone else think that it's not over for them. Rose and I are pulling for them... but, I think Beth is on the cusp of throwing in the towel. She's not a quitter by any means. Just, I'm starting to think she feels she's already lost him.

Maybe talking to you is exactly what she needs. Someone who is a little like her Alan but isn't quite him.

Like what? Like how to not torch your own relationship? I know that's mean, but hey, I'm not any better when it comes to my own relationships. I guess he needs to know what not to do, but maybe it's too late for that. [ He gives Tim a smile, a genuine one. ] I'm sure that I can make time for you, Tim.

[ Maybe that's too familiar, but Alan can't help it. He is familiar with Tim, even if the Tim that's here is a different one. ]

Okay, then that's what I'll do. Talk to her, I mean. And between you and me, I'd never think it's over for them, not after... well, after certain things. All I can say is, I know someone who never gave up on me, so I wouldn't give up on them either. They can still make it, I'm sure of it.

[ And then since it just feels like the right thing to say, Alan adds: ]

For what it's worth, you never gave up on me either. [ Part of him expects Tim to look at him like he grew a second head, but there's another part of him that thinks Tim will just roll with it and not think it's insane. ]

I was thinking something more personal? I don't know. Something that no one would know that would help each of you. Not that I know what I'm saying now that I think about it. [ Tim smiles a little awkwardly. ] Whatever it is? You'll figure it out.

[ The smile turns into something more genuine. ] If they had given up on each other? They would have divorced a while ago. They're both holding on for each other.

[ His eyebrows raise. ] Huh. So, you know a version of me? Glad to know I've helped somehow then. Hopefully he's able to figure things out too.

[ Tim leans back into the couch. A gesture is made for Alan to make his way to Beth. They can talk more later. Beth is the main focus right now.

She sits on the edge of the porch, looking out over the forest. Her eyes are red, but any evident of tears has been removed. She doesn't look over as Alan joins her. Still, it's obvious she knows he's there beside her. ]

... More personal. I mean, does it get any more personal than being the same person, just from another... timeline. Reality? Something like that. And then there's the question of if he'd even want to talk to me. How would you react if you saw yourself just walking up like it's business as usual?

I was thinking about maybe writing a note and leaving it somewhere he'd find, but maybe that wouldn't work either.

[ Seeing Tim smile makes Alan smile a little in return. He's glad they haven't completely given up on each other. They should be together; they deserve to stay together, and although it's not his place to intervene, this feels like something he can't just let go. ]

Yeah, I do, and let me tell you, he helped me out a lot when I really needed it. As far as I'm concerned, anyone named Tim Breaker is good in my book.

[ He offers the man a wider smile then as he nods in agreement and moves to go see if he can't talk to Beth.

He walks out onto the porch, and he slowly walks up behind her until he's standing almost next to her but a little bit behind her still. ]

... Do you mind if I join you?

[ Beth doesn't turn to look up at him. Instead, she simply moves to make space for him. Her gaze remains forward on the forest ahead of them. She knows he is going to want to talk. Her Alan used to ask what was wrong. Find ways to get her to talk.

Not so much anymore.

She inhales sharply before glancing to the side.

A tilt of her head away once he's sat beside her. ]

We met at a clinic for artists. [ Beth doesnt give him the chance to ask a question. She figures he'll want the whole story anyways. Which means starting from the beginning. ] He was having issues after finishing the Alex Casey books... and I was there because of... [ Her gaze drops as she lifts her ankle slightly. ] I was a dancer, once. Ballet. Going to go on and be apart of the Pacific Northwest Ballet.

Then, I broke my ankle. Pretty much snapped it. [ Her frown deepens. ] I was nineteen... living on my own. My foster parents were mortified. Not that we've talked since the wedding.

[ Alan has a fleeting thought as he watches her move to make room for him. It's a fool's idea, a ridiculous romantic thought, and there's a part of him that's too pragmatic to even voice it. But the part of him that is actually a romantic can't help but wonder. Maybe he just naturally gravitates to Jesse or Beth in all situations. Timelines. Something.

It's a stupid thought, really, and some internal voice tells Alan he's being stupid. He's not drawn to her in all timelines; they're not some star-crossed soulmates that keep looking for each other. He's probably watched too many bad movies.

With that thought in mind, he resolutely shoves away those ridiculous romantic notions and focuses on the present and on what's real. He doesn't interrupt Beth once, letting her get the whole story out, although she can probably tell from the look on his face that none of what he's hearing makes him happy. ]

I don't even know where to start. The clinic, your ankle... your foster parents. [ Actually, he knows exactly where he wants to start. ] Why would they stop talking to you because of your ankle? Or was it because of the wedding?

Edited 2024-11-23 19:54 (UTC)

[ Maybe they are always attracted to one another. Or, maybe, Alan would need to make the choice. Alice could possibly be the one he is meant to end up with. Beth wouldn't deny the possibility. She's been in a room with both Alice and Alan before.

It felt like she didn't belong even though she was the one married to Alan.

Her eyes tilt upwards. ] They thought Alan was too old for me. He was just after a younger woman for public image. He was famous. Why would he want anything with me other than to benefit him.

[ I never thought they were right. But, now... ]

Not that they'd believe me if I told them that I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Alan. [ She leans slightly to the side. ] A storm rolled in one night. I... hobbled out into it. I had a point to make. He came out into the storm and found me.

[ Privately, Alan knows he likes the idea of htem always being attracted to each other. Even if he was always going to be attracted to Alice and to Beth and Jesse both, that feeling of protectiveness and of love feels to him that it would always be as strong as it is right now. Maybe the only difference is which person he chooses or when he meets them.

He obviously didn't choose Beth, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care about her. He wants to help her since her Alan isn't here to do it. ]

Too old, huh? I could see that. [ He vaguely recalls having a thought about that too, since Jesse is younger than him, after all. ] Did you ever worry about that being true?

[ He knows his own feelings on that score, but they don't matter here. What matters is what Beth thinks and how she feels. ]

You wouldn't? [ His expression sobers just slightly as he listens to her explanation. ]

... You had something you wanted to prove. [ His head tilts slightly to one side. ] What happened when he found you?

I didn't before. [ Beth's gaze turns solem.

It can't surely be simply because Alan wants to protect her. That can't be the only reason why she's been pushed away. There must be more to it. Maybe age difference. Maybe her job. Maybe he has realized he would rather have the life of a famous author celebrity again.

She closes her eyes. The upset should be obvious in small similar ways.

She is Jesse and Jesse is Beth. ]

I was covered in mud. I stumbled down part of a dirt pathway, falling down to the next part of the path. I had a flashlight but no weapon. If I couldn't dance anymore? I was going to prove they existed. [ Beth pauses for a moment. She pulls over her options. Something tells her that Alan will learn either way about it all. ] Alan would tell you my parents died due to crime. People who broke into our house and killed them as they planned to rob the place.

They weren't people.

You didn't before, and now you do, and... is it your Alan's fault? [ He still thinks that he really doesn't have the best record when it comes to relationships. Maybe that's a common theme for all Alans. But whether or not that's true, all Alan can see is the need to fix this. Beth's Alan needs to fix this, but since he's not here, Alan's trying to figure out what he can leave behind that might allow this mess to be repaired.

He goes quiet again as Beth continues to explain, and as she talks, Alan's expression seems to fall, turning more and more serious and grim until his mouth is pressed together into a thin line. ]

... You went looking for Taken. [ He feels a chill come over him, and a sense of anger directed at Beth's Alan. Maybe he has no right to be angry, but from where he's standing, he just let her down. ]

They could have killed you.

I don't know what to think. I don't know why he's pulled away. I don't know how to fix it or if it is even salvageable.

[ Beth's gaze falls. ]

Taken? The Bureau calls them "Shaded Individuals." [ A nod is given then. It works... makes sense in a way. ] It didn't matter to me at the time. I'd either die proving it to myself... or I'd just die. I couldn't dance. My family was dead or was adopted. It was the one thing that was left.

Alan found me in the nick of time. I was angry at him at first. It's not like he understood or wanted to understand. But, he cared. More than anyone else around me at the time. [ Beth lets out a sigh before looking upwards again. ] He didn't stay at the clinic long. He had the idea for his next book.

Edited 2024-11-25 07:26 (UTC)

It has to be; this can't be the end for both of you. It won't be the end.

[ He's confident of that, even though he doesn't know exactly what is going to make the difference for Beth and her Alan. All he knows is that this can't be it for them. ]

Yeah. Taken, Shadowed Individuals... It's all the same thing in the end, I guess. They're not the same people anymore. Maybe they're not people at all, like you said.

[ His gaze falls slightly as the weight of what she's saying sinks in on him. She really felt as though she had nothing left to lose, maybe even nothing left to live for. But... Alan found her. He cared enough about her to go looking for her. That has to mean something, doesn't it? ]

He went to go find you, and then once he did, he just left? Why would he do that? Did the two of you ever talk about what happened?

I'm glad one of us is confident in it.

[ Beth has no idea how to begin speaking to Alan anymore--her Alan. Not without it being something that sounds more like roommates than lovers. Then again, they really haven't been "lovers" for awhile. They haven't even been a married couple for awhile. Maybe it's been past saving for ages and she has been too stubborn to admit it because she still loves him.

She felt like her Alan was trying to reach out to her in the interview. Say something to her or about her... then the conversation switched to his friends. His writing partners. The trinity that puts his stories together and makes them happen. A reminder that she's not in that space and really has no place in it. ]

It was a week or so after he found me that he left. We talked... sort of. He doesn't believe in anything supernatural. I guess he recognized that he saved me from danger but that it was a storm, not something more.

The book idea he had was what became "Departure."

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