synthneon | oceanview || ❝ made a promise i'm coming out alive. ❞

oceanview || ❝ made a promise i'm coming out alive. ❞

OCEANVIEW III

and now i'm wide awake.

Oh, I died like a million times.
Through the waves, I break
The nightmares finally over CODE BY TESSISAMESS

[ He wants more time: more time to touch her and to be touched, to just be together with her before responsibility comes calling. Before the chance of something pulling them apart arises.

He's reacting to her touches, and to the feel of her beneath his own hands, and it should be clear enough how much he desires her. He feels a tug of his own, something demanding his attention. This something doesn't want him to stop, to have his attention shift away to more important, more realistic matters. What could be more realistic than two people wanting each other and not wanting to be separated? And yet duty still calls and won't be ignored. ]

Jesse, I-

[ The knock at the door interrupts him. No, not yet. But we don't have a choice. I don't have a choice.

He looks at her, meeting her gaze, not wanting to look away for even a second. ]

I'm not ready. But we have to be ready, don't we?

[ Her head cants ever so slightly to the side at the sound of her name. He may not finish the statement given duty is calling. Still, she'd like to know what it was. Who knows when they'll be able to have a private moment until this AWE is over.

« This has to be the last time around. It feels like it. Everything is lining up the right way. »

She nods to his question.] Yeah. We do.

[ She goes about moving her hands back and fixing his shirt as best she can. Then fixing her own. Her fingers graze over his, pausing only when she feels the metal ring around his finger. Her eyes dart to it and a complicated set of emotions play out in her eyes before the defensive Director wall comes up.

« It's never going to be easy. »

Jesse turns her gaze back to his and gently places a kiss to his cheek. Her hands go to his elbows once more to guide him backwards in order for her to stand. She nods to the gun she handed to him and gently picks up the manuscript page. It's folded over the crease lines and put back in her vest for safe keeping. ]

I put Steve in charge of keeping an eye out on you. More to keep everyone else happy. There's two defensive points--the front lobby and the parking lot. The weakest spot is the Morgue... given how dark it is. That'd where I'll most likely be. Estevez is in charge of the two defense points... think you can help her out? [ Jesse gives him a small smile. ] Casey is going to be in the Morgue for medical exams... which, is another reason I need to go down. Director overview. That sort of thing.

[ « I won't worry him about the potential fact of Casey being touched by the Dark Presence. He has enough on his plate. I'll handle it. Can you help Alan and Steve if they need it? »

Polaris shimmers. ]

Polaris says she'll help you how she can. And Steve.

[ Alan, meanwhile, is thinking something different... it's similar, but not quite.

What if this is the last time that we get to be together? What if something happens and I never see her again? She'll survive because she has to, but what if I don't? I should say goodbye, if that's the case.

And yet he knows he'll never be able to bring himself to say goodbye. Saying those words aloud would make it seem final, inevitable, and he's not willing to do that. ]

Maybe one day, it can just be the two of us with no interruptions. At least, not these kinds of interruptions.

[ I still want that life that we've talked about, and I hope that one day, we'll have it. But there's a part of me that thinks I'll never actually get to see it. I don't want to think about that, but I can't help it.

Alan sighs and shakes his head briefly as if trying to shake away those unwanted thoughts. He notices where she's looking, noting that she's looking at his ring. Maybe he should take it off. Maybe when this is all over, they should look for rings for both of them. He'd love to put a ring on her finger, as a gesture of how much she means to him.

His eyes briefly close when she kisses his cheek. He wants to remember that feeling for as long as he can. ]

Yeah, I can help her out... but who's going to help you out? Polaris, of course, but...

[ She doesn't have to say anything about Casey or anything else; he's already worrying about her. ]

Are you going to be okay?

"Maybe"? [ Jesse's eyebrows raise slightly to his statement. Her gaze narrows. ] We will have time together. Once the AWE is over. You need to believe it's going to happen to make it happen, Alan.

[ She gently taps his chest as if it to make her point.

As to his question? Jesse gives a smirk. ] Let's hope that Casey is as good as a shot as the one in your books. [ A subtle hint that she's read them--just to remind him. ] Yeah, I'll be fine. I've handled worse than a couple of Taken.

[ Still, Jesse can tell the source of his worry. It's the same as hers. She pauses and places a quick kiss to his lips to help reassure him. Then, she slips off the desk and tugs on his shirt for him to follow after her.

The Director opens the door. Steve looks up and gives a nod, and a sideways glance between the two. Jesse doesn't even acknowledge it. That would just be giving more fuel for him to tease her endlessly with. He really is like a dad sometimes. ]

I'll check in down at the morgue and with Agent Casey. Think you can handle Wake?

[ Steve folds his hands behind his back and pretends to think. ] Not sure. A parautalitarian writer might be a bit more of a handful than a giant mold monster. Or a collective invasive resonance. Or--

Okay, I get it. You're fine. [ Jesse rolls her eyes and looks at Alan. Her hand raises to brush along his in one last comforting gesture before making her way to the other side of the station. ]

I know. I know I have to believe it's a possibility. It's going to happen. [ But the look in his eyes betrays his fear and he doesn't bother hiding it from her. Why would he, when she's seen him at his worst and most afraid already? He wants it to happen, he wants it to come true, but he's still afraid that it never will.

But he still manages a smile when she taps him and then smirks. ]

Let's hope so. I think he is, but- [ The Taken scare Alan too, and he also sees no reason to pretend otherwise. ] What if... What of none of you make it out of this?

[ That'll be my fault too. They'll be dead because of me. Again.

He leans into the kiss even though it's a brief one and it doesn't do much to soothe his nerves or his worries. He can't shake the feeling that this coming fight isn't going to end well, one way or another. He just hopes that if it goes bad, it only takes him out, not the rest of them.

But he doesn't want to let her know that's what he's thinking, so he just follows along when she tugs on his shirt and moves to open the door. ]

I'll do what I can to behave. No causing problems here if I can help it. [ Except he realizes that he just seems to cause problems without even trying. ]

It's going to be fine. [ Now if I can just make myself believe it. ]

[ A gentle look comes to her eyes at his own. She knows. It seems impossible and unlikely to happen, but if they stop trying, then the Dark Pressence wins. It gets out. Which is why she continually says she'll do it on her own if she has to. People can only do so much, and maybe Alan has finally hit his limit after all these years. It's only human.

She's just afraid that she'll lose him to the Dark Presence if he stops.

« We need to speak with Saga when she shows up. If this is as far as Alan can go, then we pass the baton. It's only fair. One man can't do it all. »

She gives a gentle nudge to his chest where she tapped him. ] Some of us may not. That's reality. But, that doesn't mean we can't try. The Buearu studies all these things, but we're also the first line of defense if we can intercept it fast enough. It's our jobs, Alan. Let us do it.

We'd be here investigating it even if the Dark Presence used another creator.

[ Jesse nods to the assignments given and disappears from view. Steve watches her leave, then looks to Alan. A shrug. ]

How much do you remember and how much do I need to fill you in on again?

[ He can't stop trying. He knows he can't. Stopping means letting the Dark Presence win, and even if Jesse fought back on her own, what he knows about the darkness and what it's capable of is enough to tell him it'd be a losing battle. Not because she's incapable of doing it, but because the darkness is so much bigger and stronger than all of them, even Jesse.

No, he knows what he has to do, which is find whatever strength he has left and use that to push through this fight and whatever other fights come after it. The only problem is, finding that strength again is proving harder than he thought it would be.

He's beginning to wonder if it won't really show up to be used until the fight starts and adrenaline starts going. That's how it's worked before, but now he needs it more than ever. There's too much at stake here to just rely on "maybes".

He doesn't have much time to respond before Jesse's disappearing to see to her own tasks, but he just nods. Maybe it's not a nod of agreement and more one of resignation. They all know how to do their jobs; he knows that. It's just that the idea of there being casualties and knowing they're because of him has never sat well with Alan, no matter what people think. Just because it's inevitable and a consequence of there being bad things in the world doesn't mean he finds it easy to accept.

In response to Steve's question, he just shrugs in return. ]

I know enough from hearing the chatter that a fight's coming. It's going to be a big one.

[ What could be more important than that? Anything else isn't important right now. What's important is surviving this. ]

( continued here )

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oceanview || ❝ made a promise i'm coming out alive. ❞

OCEANVIEW III

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