oceanview || ❝ made a promise i'm coming out alive. ❞

[outlierdirector]

OCEANVIEW III

and now i'm wide awake.

Oh, I died like a million times.
Through the waves, I break
The nightmares finally over CODE BY TESSISAMESS

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[outlierdirector]

"Maybe"? [ Jesse's eyebrows raise slightly to his statement. Her gaze narrows. ] We will have time together. Once the AWE is over. You need to believe it's going to happen to make it happen, Alan.

[ She gently taps his chest as if it to make her point.

As to his question? Jesse gives a smirk. ] Let's hope that Casey is as good as a shot as the one in your books. [ A subtle hint that she's read them--just to remind him. ] Yeah, I'll be fine. I've handled worse than a couple of Taken.

[ Still, Jesse can tell the source of his worry. It's the same as hers. She pauses and places a quick kiss to his lips to help reassure him. Then, she slips off the desk and tugs on his shirt for him to follow after her.

The Director opens the door. Steve looks up and gives a nod, and a sideways glance between the two. Jesse doesn't even acknowledge it. That would just be giving more fuel for him to tease her endlessly with. He really is like a dad sometimes. ]

I'll check in down at the morgue and with Agent Casey. Think you can handle Wake?

[ Steve folds his hands behind his back and pretends to think. ] Not sure. A parautalitarian writer might be a bit more of a handful than a giant mold monster. Or a collective invasive resonance. Or--

Okay, I get it. You're fine. [ Jesse rolls her eyes and looks at Alan. Her hand raises to brush along his in one last comforting gesture before making her way to the other side of the station. ]

[crazyisinevitable]

I know. I know I have to believe it's a possibility. It's going to happen. [ But the look in his eyes betrays his fear and he doesn't bother hiding it from her. Why would he, when she's seen him at his worst and most afraid already? He wants it to happen, he wants it to come true, but he's still afraid that it never will.

But he still manages a smile when she taps him and then smirks. ]

Let's hope so. I think he is, but- [ The Taken scare Alan too, and he also sees no reason to pretend otherwise. ] What if... What of none of you make it out of this?

[ That'll be my fault too. They'll be dead because of me. Again.

He leans into the kiss even though it's a brief one and it doesn't do much to soothe his nerves or his worries. He can't shake the feeling that this coming fight isn't going to end well, one way or another. He just hopes that if it goes bad, it only takes him out, not the rest of them.

But he doesn't want to let her know that's what he's thinking, so he just follows along when she tugs on his shirt and moves to open the door. ]

I'll do what I can to behave. No causing problems here if I can help it. [ Except he realizes that he just seems to cause problems without even trying. ]

It's going to be fine. [ Now if I can just make myself believe it. ]

[outlierdirector]

[ A gentle look comes to her eyes at his own. She knows. It seems impossible and unlikely to happen, but if they stop trying, then the Dark Pressence wins. It gets out. Which is why she continually says she'll do it on her own if she has to. People can only do so much, and maybe Alan has finally hit his limit after all these years. It's only human.

She's just afraid that she'll lose him to the Dark Presence if he stops.

« We need to speak with Saga when she shows up. If this is as far as Alan can go, then we pass the baton. It's only fair. One man can't do it all. »

She gives a gentle nudge to his chest where she tapped him. ] Some of us may not. That's reality. But, that doesn't mean we can't try. The Buearu studies all these things, but we're also the first line of defense if we can intercept it fast enough. It's our jobs, Alan. Let us do it.

We'd be here investigating it even if the Dark Presence used another creator.

[ Jesse nods to the assignments given and disappears from view. Steve watches her leave, then looks to Alan. A shrug. ]

How much do you remember and how much do I need to fill you in on again?

[crazyisinevitable]

[ He can't stop trying. He knows he can't. Stopping means letting the Dark Presence win, and even if Jesse fought back on her own, what he knows about the darkness and what it's capable of is enough to tell him it'd be a losing battle. Not because she's incapable of doing it, but because the darkness is so much bigger and stronger than all of them, even Jesse.

No, he knows what he has to do, which is find whatever strength he has left and use that to push through this fight and whatever other fights come after it. The only problem is, finding that strength again is proving harder than he thought it would be.

He's beginning to wonder if it won't really show up to be used until the fight starts and adrenaline starts going. That's how it's worked before, but now he needs it more than ever. There's too much at stake here to just rely on "maybes".

He doesn't have much time to respond before Jesse's disappearing to see to her own tasks, but he just nods. Maybe it's not a nod of agreement and more one of resignation. They all know how to do their jobs; he knows that. It's just that the idea of there being casualties and knowing they're because of him has never sat well with Alan, no matter what people think. Just because it's inevitable and a consequence of there being bad things in the world doesn't mean he finds it easy to accept.

In response to Steve's question, he just shrugs in return. ]

I know enough from hearing the chatter that a fight's coming. It's going to be a big one.

[ What could be more important than that? Anything else isn't important right now. What's important is surviving this. ]

[outlierdirector]

( continued here )