synthneon | oceanview (different path) || ❝ turn the page i need to see something new. ❞

[ Bottoms slide off and she can properly feel him when he rocks forward. A gasp leaves her. Head tilts back even as his gray eyes latch onto hers to demand her full attention. A moan comes from her, full of desire. That pull inside her has taken complete control in just one moment and she finds herself content to simply ride the wave.

Grow brighter. Louder. Around one constant they revolve.

Instinct has her angle her hips and hands slide down his arms to hold his elbows. Green eyes haze over entirely as her chest moves up and down in heavy but short breathes. Her whole body shakes and a hum fills her mind. A sound similar to Polaris. A sound he wouldn't know, but that Jesse knows as her best friend.

Reaching out to the Champpin of Light.

He must know and understand what Polaris and her host are after. Maybe not with words, but with instincts. Human and non human desires. He can understand what the Dark Presence wants--its touched his mind. Something else has touched his mind too. That something contacted him first and taught him how to fight. He just needs to remember and foster that connection. Not the one of the enemy.

Jesse brushes her lips over his once more. ]

[ The feeling of her next to him as he rocks forward almost makes his head swim. There's just something about being like this with her that sends his senses into overdrive; is it desire? Longing? A need for intimate touch? All of the above? Part of him believes that he wouldn't be satisfied with doing this with just anyone. It has to be her.

Did I ever feel like this with Alice? Am I just forgetting what it felt like with her because we fell apart? I don't know; all I know is that this is all I want. I think it's what we- what I need. I just hope that it's what she needs too.

Something inside Alan already knows that he doesn't want to let the Dark Presence in. It's touched his mind, but he doesn't want it to get in any farther. It can't sink its claws into him any more than it already has. Maybe something inside him is reaching out for the light: for things that are good. Polaris might not be entirely good, but at leat she's not a being seemingly made of darkness. That's enough of a distinction for Alan to reach out to her.

Hello? Can you hear me?

He feels stupid asking the question in his mind even as he feels Jesse beside him and feels her lips brushing over his. He returns the gesture, first with a light brush and then followed by a deeper, more passionate kiss. ]

[ She follows with the kiss. Mouth open, inviting him deeper in all ways. She needs to be with him. Not just at his side, but together. As one. It's trying to communicate that idea when her words are lacking and her body is aching. Her legs come up around his hips. A deep passionate moan comes from her as their kiss ends.

« I want to be with him. I'm not a freak to him. I'm not crazy. All of this is real and finally someone else sees it. Someone else KNOWS. »

Polaris shifts at the question in Alan's mind. A sound. Harmonious and light. However, Polaris isn't light. She is a sound, a resonance, there to make things stronger to in turn make herself stronger. What Alan needs is the light inside himself. Something Bright had touched him first; taught him how to wield light against the Dark. It's already in him--that's why Polaris and her friend respond how they do. They're reacting to what potential is already inside Alan Wake.

He simply needs to reach in and grab ahold of it. Nourish it. Use it. Then, he'll beat back the darkness that's touched his mind. ]

[ I don't know what to do. Why do I have to do anything? Couldn't we just stay like this for a little while? But if I stop to just be like this with her, what if we never start again? What if I never start again? Then the story goes on forever, and nothing gets done. That's not the answer either.

The kiss ends, but Alan can't help but start another one. He wants to keep kissing her, to not have to stop, not ever.

But he can kiss and try and tune into Polaris at the same time, or so he tells himself. He can hear her sound and feel it resonating around him, but that doesn't help him know what he should do or how he should use the light that's apparently in him. That something Bright that touched him didn't lay out everything he needed to do, at least not to Alan's satisfaction. Or maybe it's just that he's not smart enough to figure it out. He knows a lot of people wrote him off as someone not worth the time or energy.

But that bright thing didn't. Polaris and Jesse didn't. I have to figure out what I need to do.

He has to stop to come up for air, and when he does, he rumbles out her name. ]

... Jesse.

[ Jesse's thoughts are far from what needs to be done to solve "Departure." What steps they need to take. How Alan might beat back the Dark Presence. All her thoughts focus on his touch and how he kisses her. Everything in her mind is honed in on the next kiss he gives her. How her body shakes slightly and her hips roll against his. He has wrapped her around his fingers and now his attention seems to be on anything but bringing them together.

A shuddering breath leaves her at how he says her name.

« Why won't he... »

Has she not made it clear enough? Maybe not. Sharing her thoughts has never been a strong suit. Especially compared to Alan who can string any words together that causes her to react despite the grip she tries to have on her emotions.

Her hands slide to his shoulders, then his front. A gentle push is given. If he worries at all he's done something wrong, then he shouldn't. She follows after pushing him up. No hesitation is in her movements as she slides onto his lap. Her bare hips meet his covered ones and she gasps. Darkened green eyes snap to his as a look that is reminiscent of pleading takes them.

She wants him. Now. Right now.

« No more waiting. We're FINALLY like this... no more wasting time. »

How or why the feeling of "finally" exists is something she doesn't understand. She may never understand it. Not that she wants to think about it at the moment.

Straps from her tank top slide down her shoulders. Arms wrap back around his neck. He has to be able to feel how warm she is over him. How she tremors in his arms from nothing but pure desire. ]

Alan. [ Please. ]

[ Her actions make his head swim, but he somehow still manages to keep enough of his wits about him so that he can focus on her and focus on trying to bring both of them to the brink of ecstasy... Ecstasy, climax, peak, whatever the term is, Alan wants to go there with her. They might as well be free-falling through a dream state driven by their own feelings and actions and wants, and Alan's fine to fall with her.

Small shockwaves go off at every place she touches, and a shudder creeps up his spine even as his own hands latch more onto her. Her hands at his front cause an even bigger shiver of pleasure, and he knows that all she has to do is touch him anywhere, and he's basically putty in her hands.

Once she's in his lap, and her hips meet his, a gasp of his own slides from him with ease.

She wraps herself around him more, and he feels her and feels her warmth, and it warms him up in turn. He'd pull off his jeans to further bare himself to her, but that would mean he has to let go of her, even if it's only for a second, but... He's too clothed and he can't feel her as he likes when he's still covered up.

One hand slides away from her, and while it takes some fumbling, he eventually manages to finally remove the last article of outer clothing and his hips arc up to meet hers once more.

The sound of his name as she speaks it is enough to drive home what he needs- what he wants to do, and he presses his front fully and firmly against hers, hands moving to circle around her back to stabilize them both. ]

[ She lifts herself to make it easier for him to remove what he can of his undergarments. Then, he rolls up, and she lowers herself again. It takes some adjustment until she can finally feel him and they're connected. Together. One.

His hands circle around her back and Jesse moans, louder than she intended. Her head lowers to his shoulder as her whole body shakes entirely. She's already so close by just feeling him that it is embarrassing. He has to think she's so easy and pathetic.

But, it's Alan. He's the only one that could...

A shift of their hips and the thoughts fly from her mind. The only thing she can concentrate on is how he feels. How Polaris seems to be a louder hum in her mind. How the room suddenly seems brighter from just the one lamp. It all feels like floating.

It persists even beyond Alan finding the right place and sending her over. How her back arcs and she buries her face into his neck to let out the rest of her reactions. Her body shudders in his arms and against him. Her head feels like it's swimming and floating at the same time. The arms around his neck slide to simply rest on his shoulders as she pants to catch her breath.

The insane story and darkness rage on outside, but Jesse feels as if it could almost be morning in the room with how bright the light is and the gentle hum of her friend pulsing in the room. Maybe Alan can hear it if he's on the frequency she is.

Her eyes side close before she tilts her head into his neck further. That feeling she can't discern the origin of continues to bubble inside of her. ]

We're finally...

[ « "Back together"? That doesn't make sense. None of it does. But... this is nice. I don't want to let him go back now... if he goes back to New York, then... this all goes with him. We're finally... I don't want to lose this too. » ]

[ There's something about this, this heated, passionate dance they're in; it makes Alan's head swim, but oddly, he feels more clear-headed than he can ever remember being. Jesse's movements are waking up sensations inside him that he hasn't felt in a long time, and he's determined to enjoy all of them while returning the favor to her. Even the adjustments they have to make to fit themselves in and against each other feel just right.

He closes his eyes for a handful of seconds, and as he does, what starts as a slow unfolding of light gradually turns into an explosion of light in his mind. Where is the light coming from? He can't really make sense of it, but maybe he doesn't have to. He feels a gentle pulsing hum, and when he tries to follow it to its source, it just seems to lead him to Jesse. Is all of this from her? From Polaris? Or... is the light coming from- That's crazy, isn't it?

But the light and the humming both seem to grow stronger and brighter the more he and Jesse touch each other, and to him, that has to mean that it's coming from both of them.

He doesn't pull back or break the contact between them, but when she pauses and buries her face into his neck and stays there, he stills too, tightening his arms around her and just holding her as the seconds pass. He's not in a hurry to end this, because once they do, the light will fade, the humming becoming less loud, and the darkness will sneak its way back in. ]

Together. We're together. [ Home. Except this isn't home. It feels like it is, when she's around, but I know it's not. Not yet. ]

[ "Together. We're together."

Something inside her curls. Not due to their previous heated motions or the arousal. Something more personal and emotional. Maybe it's something she shouldn't even feel because. Regardless, it makes her arms tighten around his frame and her knees press into his hips slightly.

The light remains bright and Polaris continues to hum.

Her eyes crack open, and she looks at his chest. They close and she shifts to simply be comfortable against him. Fatigue is pumping through her due to how he winded her up and up. ]

Let's... just stay like this for a little longer.

[ That's all the encouragement he needs, really. ]

Okay. We'll stay like this, for as long as you want. [ As long as the story lets us. But I'll fight the story if I have to.

It takes some shifting and maneuvering, but he pulls her closer, a tall feat considering how close she is already, but he wants nothing between them. She's already on his lap, which is perfect, in his mind. He's content to just sit here with her, putting his arms around her and holding her. One hand eventually strays to her hair and begins touching and stroking the red locks. ]

I love you. I... I really love you. [ He presses a kiss to the side of her face before pulling back just a fraction, eyes still fixed on her, even if her eyes have slid closed again. ] How did I get this lucky?

[ Her eyes flutter shut at the kiss to her face. She just doesn't understand how he could love her. It's hardly been a week. The emotions bubbling inside her make no logical sense. None of it does. She wants to believe that he does love her and she could love him. She wants to know all of it is real and not just a byproduct of this weird story that's coming to life.

Just as real as Polaris or Ordinary.

Can it really be true? Even after a handful of days? ]

I'm not sure about "lucky." [ « Not with someone who everyone else thinks is crazy. » ] But, I guess you just pulled the winning numbers. Or something.

[ Maybe he shouldn't feel like this. Maybe he's rushing things; maybe he's moving too quickly because he wants this even though he should't. But... maybe it's not rushing it. Maybe he's not moving too quickly. Even if it makes no sense at all, he knows what he feels, and it's not just a passing interest. He can't explain why he feels like this, but... can love be explained? ]

Well, I'm sure about it. I wasn't hoping for anything. I figured that once the separation is final, that's it for me. And then... And then you came along. I think I did pull the winning numbers.

[ He wants to kiss her again, to keep kissing her, but maybe they should pause to catch their breath. Still, he leans in and he brushes his nose against hers in a fond gesture. He'd rather feel her lips on his again, but there's still time for more of that. ]

[ Jesse realizes she has never truly been in love before. Crushes, sure, but things never really went places due to... her being her. People could never get close. She'd never let them be inside her walls.

Her gaze drifts slightly before her eyes shut. ]

You shouldn't put your hopes entirely on me. I, I'm not good with people. Being with people. [ Her head tilts at his gesture and hides in his neck. ] I just let everyone down in the end.

[ Arms circle around him more as she presses against his chest. She doesn't want to let Alan down as well. She wants to be at his side--help him fix the story. ]

Stop. You won't let me down. You couldn't. [ He can't explain why he believes in her so much, but he just has this unshakable feeling that he does, and he can't make himself stop even if he wanted to. ]

You're- you're important to me, and you're special, and... I feel like we need to be together. We're supposed to be together.

[ He pauses as she presses herself against him. ]

Maybe you should put your hopes on me. Or maybe we can carry them together. That's what people do, isn't it?

[ « I let them down... I let Dylan down. How can I EVER be someone reliable? What he needs--what he wants? »

Her eyebrows knit together as she further hides her face in the crook of his neck. Belonging together. Meant to be together. It all sounds so nice. Nice to the point she can't believe the ideas like he can. ]

I don't know, is it what people do? I've never had something like this. I don't know how any of this works. I don't let people in. They don't want to see the world for what it really is underneath the poster. You're--you're the first one.

[ He realizes then that what she seems to be lacking is confidence in herself. Maybe he knew that already, noticed it already, or maybe he's just now seeing it and realizing what he might be able to do to help her. ]

Maybe it's not, but it could be what we do. We could figure out how to do it together. [ He doesn't plan on pushing her if she isn't ready or willing, because it seems to him that that's not what she needs. They could take it slowly, one step at a time. ]

We don't have to be like other people; who says we have to do exactly what they do? [ He knows he's never marched in line with what everyone else is doing, so in a way, this is just him being himself. ] Why don't we just do what we want to do, and figure things out as we go along? Together.

[ His hands curl around her in a way that he hopes is reassuring. Comforting. He wants her to feel like she's not alone anymore, because now she has him, and he'll fight the story or monsters or whatever the hell else to stay with her. ]

( cont here )

oceanview (different path) || ❝ turn the page i need to see something new. ❞

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ah screw it, just going to start using AW2 icons because I need more expressions. imagination~

imagine THIS (if only awr didn't have chubby alan)

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