synthneon | oceanview (different path) || ❝ turn the page i need to see something new. ❞

I can't imagine any scenario in which that's true. I can't imagine not wanting to remember you, not wanting to be with you. If he doesn't want those things, then...

[ He's an idiot. ]

Would it be better for you if he didn't? Would it... be easier? [ I don't think it would be, and if it was me, I'd hate it. But I can't speak for her.

He goes quiet too for a moment while she looks to the side, clearly thinking. He simply watches her, wondering what she's thinking but deciding it's best to wait for her to let him in. If she decides to. ]

When you say that, I believe it. I can't see how, or what I'm supposed to do, but you... you saying that makes me feel like I can do anything.

[ Believing in people must be a trait they both share. Both Jesses. It makes sense, they're the same person, but- it's just nice to see. ]

You must really believe in the Alan you know. He's lucky. Really lucky. And that means I'm lucky too because I met you. Both of you. Maybe not as lucky as he is, though.

[ He offers a half smile, hoping she can tell the joking nature of his words. ]

Then? [ Jesse tilts her head with her eyebrows raised. She's curious to see what Alan thinks of himself. Well, another version of himself. ] You just met Jesse and you care that much about her. She's lucky to have you when she does.

[ She frowns then. Her gaze leaves him once more as her lower lip trembles. Then, in an instant, the emotion on her face is controlled. Locked back inside. ] I hate it. I don't know if it's easier. I don't... I don't know what to do.

[ It might be believing in Alan more than people in general. Another parautlitarian. Knowing that he's already defeated the Dark Presence once and saved the world. ] You can do it. You just have to be open to the idea you can.

I do. I believe in both of you and what you can do. It's just getting you to believe in yourself. Cutting through all that negativity in your head.

[ He wasn't going to answer, because why would he insult himself? But he sees that questioning look, and he figures he might as well go for it. ]

If he decides that he doesn't want to remember you, then he's kind of an idiot. He should hold onto what he has and not let you go. Or at least, he should fight to come back to you. If I could talk to him, I'd tell him he needs to fight with everything he's got.

[ Her expression is very much a "blink and you miss it" one, but Alan catches the tail end of it before that controlled expression slides back into place. He can tell this is hard for her. ]

No one would blame you for not waiting.

[ He huffs out a dry laugh. ] Believe in myself. [ He shakes his head. ] I've never been good at that, which you've obviously figured out. I wouldn't know where to start.

[ A gentle laugh comes from her then. One that sounds more like a breath of air. It's something that's just so Alan. He would be the first person to criticize himself on how he behaves and treat others. She sighs, looking up at him, but at least a little light is back in her gaze. ]

You could try writing to him. [ She glances to the side, then nods, before returning her attention to him. ] Alan said he leaves notes to himself. Messages so he doesn't forget. Maybe it's what you could do. Not that I'm encouraging you to. Just... giving a suggestion on how you could go about it if you had to. Or, if you need to write to yourself.

[ Her hands curl in the arm of the couch underneath her. Her posture stiffens. Alan isn't wrong. No one would blame her for not waiting for her writer. Especially Alan himself. Only one person in the entire world would and that is why her lips press together to keep herself from letting those emotions that threaten to spill out of her. ]

I would. [ Jesse nods again as if to herself to confirm the suggestion. ] I couldn't move on doing what I do, knowing I just left him here.

[ She pushes herself to stand up again. Her height makes her stand shorter than him, but those green colored eyes demand his attention. There is a shimmer in her eyes that is missing in the Jesse he knows. Hands raise to rest on his elbows to pull his attention to her. ]

Then, start by listening to your Jesse. Believing in her.

... Writing to him? [ He tilts his head to one side, because that thought never occurred to him. ] It's not a bad idea, I guess. I don't know how it would help him because he's ahead of me and he already knows what he needs to do, but- maybe if I start to forget more, the notes will help. If I find them, anyway.

[ He pauses for the briefest of seconds. ] Thanks, Jesse.

[ That feeling of wanting to help her in return is steadily growing, but what can he do? He doesn't have a lot of assets at his disposal right now, and nothing that seems like it would be useful to her. Maybe he's hurting her more than he's helping. She certainly seems more upset. ]

It was just a suggestion, probably a bad one. [ He shakes his head again, but his attention is immediately drawn to her when she stands up and her hands come to rest on his elbows. ]

I have been listening, and I do believe her. But- I'll really listen now.

[ He means it, but what he's less confident about is how he'll ever begin to learn to believe in himself. But maybe that will come with time. ]

Maybe he just needs some encouragement from where he was before. [ Jesse's voice drops to a quieter tone. The brief flicker of desperation is in her gaze. What else can she do to help Alan? Projecting Polaris only works so much. She can't enter the Dark Place. She can't change the story. What else does she have left to try? ] I think if you want him to find them he will. Intent and design seem to go far with what the both of you do.

[ A nod. ] Yeah. No problem.

[ Jesse tilts her head with a skeptical but yet playful look in the eye. She can tell all of this is still too much for him. He's struggling to comphrend everything around him. The other Jesse has her work cut out for her.

« She'll rise to the challenge. It'll give her a reason to keep pushing. » ]

Just, don't jerk her around. Okay?

Encouragement... [ Alan pauses to think, because he can't imagine what he would say that would come across as encouraging to anyone, let alone his future self, who more than likely has seen things that he can barely imagine or envision. ] I guess if I was going to tell him anything, I'd say he has to do everything he can to come home to you. He can't keep you waiting; he shouldn't. And... well, that he shouldn't give up or even be tempted to give up.

[ He notes that hint of skepticism in her eyes, and a part of him wonders if he's just fooling himself... if he's just in over his head but too stubborn to admit it. Who is he kidding, thinking he can stand against dark forces or whatever the hell is going on here? He's just a guy, a writer, nothing extraordinary. But someone or something thinks he's worth trying to lure into whatever this is. And maybe Jesse- both Jesses thinks he's more than just a guy. Maybe.

Either way, who he is and what he's not doesn't have anything to do with her question that's still hanging in the air. ]

I won't. I- well, I'll do my best to avoid it. I know how much it sucks to be jerked around. I won't do it to her.

That'd probably mean more coming from himself than from anyone. I mean, who really knows you better than you? [ Jesse is aware how out of body and yet cerebral it must sound. But, no one else is going to know Alan's head better than himself. It's obvious the two still think the same even if they're on slightly different tracks. They're both still Alan Wake. ] Tell him what it is you think you'd need to hear. Not me. Write it down somewhere and it'll probably make it's way to him.

[ « I'm not sure how that will happen. Knowing Alan? He'll make it happen because it's what he wants to have happen. Us meeting him like this... here, now? That's probably the same thing. Alan wanted to reach out to Jesse. He got us instead of the one he was looking for.

Or, maybe I'm just projecting. » ]

She might not believe you at first. Just keep trying. Trust is hard--for both of us. Too many people and years trying to tell us what we think and know aren't real. You never know when someone really believes you or is just saying it. [ Her gaze softens into something like a smile. ] That's why I was excited to meet Alan at first. He was someone like me. Someone who understood how crazy and weird the world really was. It turned out to be ... a lot different than I thought it would be. All of it did.

And, he reached out to me first.

You really think so? You don't think he'd take one look at it and just toss it aside as the insane ramblings of... well, someone insane? I mean, I'm going to try it, I just think that if it was me, I might be a little skeptical. But maybe he's not so skeptical anymore, because he has some years under his belt.

[ He smiles, even if it's a small one, but he's already resolved to try and write something to his older, future self. ]

Well, if trust is hard for you, at least being stubborn is easy for me. I'm not going to stop trying. Besides, you know, I used to think that maybe I was just weird for believing a cut-off lamp switch could really scare away the things that go bump in the night. It's- kind of a long story, but I was scared of the dark growing up. Which, now that I'm thinking about it, you probably already know. Unless he never told you.

[ He looks a little surprised at that. ] He did? I wonder... No, that doesn't make sense.

[ She smiles faintly at his assessment at himself. Not in humor or pity. Just that Alan seems to be Alan no matter the time frame. It's heartwarming. It means to her that the Alan she knows hasn't lost everything he is. ]

No, he wouldn't. I'm pretty sure you know how to talk to yourself, Alan. You'll know how to put it.

[ Her smile turns gentle. The Clicker. So, Alan has always had it to some degree.

« No wonder Scratch wants it. » ] He's mentioned it, but, his memory isn't what it used to be. The story has taken a lot of it away. [ « Not the story, but, he doesn't need to know about Alan stuck in the Dark Place. » ] You were afraid of the dark but you kept trying. That determination is a good look on you.

[ An eyebrow raise. ] How does it make sense?

[ He can't help the chuckle that escapes him at those worsd from Jesse. ]

You know, most people would say talking to yourself is a sign of something, and it's not usually a sign of anything good. But I guess I'll take your word for it. [ It's strange to him to think that Jesse knows his future self well enough to know how he'd react, but it's helpful at the same time. ]

Is that what I have to look forward to too? [ His expression darkens a little; he might not be a dreamer with fanciful dreams about his future, but he doesn't like the idea of becoming trapped by the story's whims. He doesn't like the idea of losing himself, and he can imagine his future self didn't like it either. ]

You're telling me this so I don't just run away from it all, aren't you? [ Maybe it seems like a leap in conclusions, but that's the conclusion Alan's coming to. ]

If I run away from the story, from all this, it'll find a way to pull me back in. And more importantly, if I don't figure out the story and figure out how to fight back, then the story will just keep taking more of me away.

[ He shakes his head. ]

I don't want that.

[ A thoughtful look takes Alan's face as he thinks this over. It's making his head spin a little but he's trying to follow where it's going. ] If he reached out to you first, and I'm able to talk to you... [ He shakes his head once, but it's a small gesture. He's not totally disbelieving. ] I never really believed in destiny, but this can't just be coincidence.

Don't worry. Everyone said I was crazy. [ Jesse forces a smile, but it's awkward and uncomfortable. Repeating something that has been told to her again and again. A similar look has crossed the face of her younger counterpart. He may recognize it already. ] Maybe I really am.

[ Then, she shakes her head. ] I hope not. Knowing me may actually help avoid what he's run into. You two might actually make a life together. If it's what you'd both want.

I won't force anyone to stay knowing the way the world is. Neither will Jesse. We'll run away and make sure you forget we ever existed before we force someone into it. [ A glance downwards follows. ] Maybe once you're free of the story it can't pull you back in. You'd be free to do whatever you want. A normal life... here. [ Jesse nods to the apartment. ] Writing books again.

[ Her head tilts slightly, red curls coming down the side of her face. Fate? Destiny? It's nice to think about. Probably for her younger counterpart. She doubts her hand has been given so nicely. ] ...Alan mentioned once that I was made for something like this. Maybe you got the same sense and reached out to have the Jesse you know help you without realizing it. Our friend may have pulled her to you without realizing it. Sometimes, Alan, there's no real answer. Or at last one we can understand.

Edited 2024-03-28 09:20 (UTC)

If you're crazy, then I'm crazy. But I don't think you are. I don't think either of us are. [ His smile might also look a little forced as he's not really a smiling kind of guy, but he wants to reassure her. There's some kind of common ground between them, even if it's not very much, and he just feels compelled to tell her they're the same. He can't even explain where this need to put himself on the same level as her is coming from, but he can't ignore it either. ]

I just- I believe you, of course, but can events be changed just by knowing one person? The same person, just in a different place on the timeline? It's hard to swallow, if you know what I mean. But- I do know one thing: I want a life with her. I think. I- It all kind of moved so fast, but I feel like we should stick together. But maybe that's the divorce talking.

[ He shakes his head. ]

That's a whole lot of maybes. I get that no one can really know, not even you, but should I hinge everything on "maybe"? Maybe I should just keep going with it and see where it goes. [ He shrugs. ] Call me naive, but it could be exciting. Not that I ever chased after exciting, but... I know, it's probably one of those things that you can't get out of once you're in, so I should just take the chance at a normal life.

[ The choice should be easy, but Alan's finding it hard, and again, he barely understands why. ]

I figured there's no real answer, but- sometimes I just like a concrete one, you know?

Thanks. [ The comment may sound short, but there is a sparkle in her eyes that shows how she means it. ] You need to remember to tell that to Jesse. She'll be tough and lock herself down to get through this. She won't tell you how vulnerable she is... so make sure you keep an eye on her. She'll have her little ways of telling you if you're looking.

[ An inhale and a shrug. ] I don't know know. But, I trust you to find out. Alan always said not to trust what he says or does... but you're not where he's at. Maybe we can avoid that for you. Just, follow your instincts. No one knows you better than you. The same goes for your writing.

[ She gently squeezes his hand. God, she misses holding Alan's hand. She misses the one she knows. It's not her place to treat this Alan the same way. He has his own Jesse. ]

Divorce... that's different. [ She glances to the side.

« Maybe they really can avoid everything that is going on with our Alan. »] It can't be concrete when it depends on what choice you want to make. There's... a lot of different ways it can go.

Would you hang it on a "maybe" for her? Your Jesse, I mean.

[ If Alan had to use just one word to describe Jesse, either Jesse, he'd say she's like an onion. There are so many layers to her, and he wouldn't know where to begin with pulling them back. Maybe it's not his business to pull them back. Everyone's allowed to have things they keep to themselves. Her answer just then might have been short, but he thinks nothing of it. ]

I know it doesn't mean much, coming from just one person, but it's one more person than you had before, isn't it? I hope your Alan said it to you too. [ If he didn't, then he's tempted to find a way to kick his ass until he tells her. Well, he's not really tempted to do that; it's one of those things that he should realize on his own, but the idea still remains. ]

So pay attention is what you're telling me. Pay attention and remember. [ He'll do his best, but a part of him wonders if he'll be able to do what she's told him to. The least he can do is try. ]

This could go wrong very fast, huh? But I get it, I have to keep trying. I'm involved now, I can't just stop. I won't stop.

[ He squeezes her hand in return, thinking how easy that feels. How natural it feels. Maybe he shouldn't like it, because she has her own Alan out there somewhere, but it feels right. ]

Yeah... Divorce. Me and Alice, we weren't really seeing eye to eye. I want us to stay together, but it looks like she has other ideas. Not that I can blame her.

[ He goes quiet for a second as he thinks about what she's telling him, trying to process it all. ]

You know what? I would. Just call me crazy, but I would.

He might of said something like it once. [ Her green eyes cast down again. ] We've been around so many times that some things are just lost in the loops. I'm not sure how much he even knows I'm trying to reach him. He's probably forgotten it.

[ Still, she squeezes his hand in return once more. If anything she can inspire this Alan to fight more to get back to his Jesse. She falls silent at the comment of wanting to be with Alice. It's not jealousy or anger that flares on her face. A form of quiet acceptance. Alan will always want to be with Alice--she's his other half. ]

Don't drag her on. [ Her tone is flat, almost like a warning of some kind. ] She'll pick up on how much you want to be with Alice and she'll back away. Make sure the two of you have the space to be together without her interfering. She... we won't stay somewhere we doesn't belong.

[ Jesse pauses then as Polaris tugs on her mind. She stands, walking around him. A hand holds out and the Service Weapon appears. A few steps into the hallway and she hears voices. Footsteps--from beyond the front door. She quietly steps up to the door and waits, trying to discern what the voices are saying.

« I know that voice. I've heard it before. Where have I heard it? » ]

Edited 2024-03-31 18:41 (UTC)

He knows. He has to know. [ Don't ask him how he knows that or how he can say that with such conviction. ] He can't be so far gone that he's forgotten you or that you're trying to reach him. [ Why do I feel like she'd do anything to reach him? She has done everything to reach him. He can't just forget about her.

His fingers curl around hers as if he doesn't want to let go. He should let go; he shouldn't even be holding her hand because he's not her Alan. She'd probably rather be holding his hand anyway, and yet he can't bring himself to let go. ]

You get it, right? I love Alice, but we're not good for each other. We're not good together. [ His brow furrows in frustration as he tries to explain it to her, tries to explain how he feels. ] I don't want to drag anyone on. I don't want to drag this on. Splitting up with Alice gives her the chance to be happy.

[ I can't make her happy anymore, but maybe she'll be happy without me. Could I be happy with Jesse? It's too soon to know.

He focuses back on the present when he realizes Jesse is moving around, away from him. Her weapon appears in her hand and instantly, he's on the alert. She steps out into the hallway, and he follows a few paces behind her, but he's not quite sure what's going on. Something caught her attention, that much is obvious. ]

What is it?

Maybe.

[ « He sure of hell has made it so he can't answer. Maybe he won't answer. It's just better to think that he's forgotten. All the other options are worse. » ]

What about you? Are you going to be happy?

[ Her free hand raises, motioning for him to be quiet. Footsteps echo in the apartment. The blocking of light from underneath the door can be seen. Someone is walking around. Talking. The words are muffled until the two step closer, then: ]

"There you go, Alan."

[ It feels as if every hair on the back of her neck stands up. Jesse goes rigid, eyes widening. ]

Hartman?!

[ « How is he--wait. 2010. He still owned the Cauldron Lake Lodge, didn't he? Alan was a 'patient' there... with several other artists. The Bureau showed up after Alan disappeared and confiscated everything. Which means... »

Jesse turns to look at Alan with a realization in her eyes. She doesn't know all the details--and probably never will--but now she knows more or less where he is at. When he is at. ]

Alan. Whatever you do? Don't listen to whatever he says. Go with it, fake it. Just don't believe anything he says!

"I had to give you a sedative, don't fight it..."

[ He opens his mouth to reply, but as seems to be the nature of the story shifting and forcing him to just go along with it, he never gets the chance. Jesse seems to fade from view or at least become obscured by something that he can't see through, and instead of her voice, he hears another voice, a man's voice. Whoever it is, they're talking to him, but there's something about his tone that sets Alan on the defensive.

He doesn't like this man; he doesn't know why, but there's a strong feeling of dislike and distrust, but more than that, there's hatred too.

It's only for a second, but Jesse's voice manages to reach him before it's drowned out again: Alan. Whatever you do? Don't listen to whatever he says. Go with it, fake it. Just don't believe anything he says!

A spike of alarm shoots through him, but before he can do anything to react or reply, he feels something unsettling: it feels as though his body is sagging beneath a weight that he can't see and his limbs won't move. What the hell is this? A sedative? Don't fight? Like hell I'm not going to fight. ]

Who the- Who the hell are you?

[ Alan's words sound clear in his head, but aloud, they come out slurred and halting, the effects of the sedative, most likely.

Damn it, I- Did I lose both of them? Jesse? Alice? This can't be happening... ]

[ Dr. Emil Hartman smoothes over Alan's worries. It was another bad episode. The sedative was to keep him safe. Those same old delusions of Alice Wake being held captive by the monster under the bed. They will continue in the morning and reacquaint him with everything.

All Alan needs to do is sleep for now.

Morning comes, and as "promised" Hartman is there with the hired muscle--the security--to escort him through the premise. Cauldron Lake Lodge. His retreat to help artists who are suffering blocks. A block caused by the accidental drowning of Alice Wake. One break that Hartman has been trying to help Alan through with different levels of degrees of success. There are several other artists there, two being the local rock legends of Bright Falls: Tor and Odin Anderson.

The Old Gods of Asgard.

They insist Alan make his way to their farm. They've left a message for him on how to defeat the Dark Presence. They fought it in their day. Hartman knows, but lies and tries to cover it up. He can't keep them for much longer. A storm is incoming and that means their power will be unleashed.

Or, they are very well meaning but senile old rock legends.

Dark falls and things come to life. Tor and Odin cause the commotion that leads to Alan being able to slip out into the main part of the building. Power flickers in certain parts. The nurse is unconscious against the wall--Tor's handiwork with his toy hammer. Yet, a commotion is coming from down the lit hall. ]

"Let me out of here! Hartman, do you hear me?! I'm going to sue your crazy quack ass!"

[ A banging comes from an office. Barry Wheeler. ]

"HARTMAN!"

[ To Alan, it doesn't feel like smoothing over. It feels like being drowned and not being able to breathe, think, or even move. His arms and legs feel heavy and he just keeps hearing Hartman's muffled voice telling him to relax, to just give in and sleep. He tries to fight against it but the sedative is too strong and it's just pulling him under no matter how hard he tries.

"Sleep", Hartman called it, but it was anything but restful. What seemed like hundreds of harrowing images entered and exited his mind's eye and Alan felt nothing but panic. When he finally wakes up, it feels like a reprieve from the sleep that wasn't sleep, but he's immediately accosted by Hartman and his hired goons and basically prodded into taking a walk alongside the doctor. He just nods a lot and pretends to be an attentive listener, but he's really not absorbing anything the doctor is telling him. Truthfully, it all sounds like noise to him, and so it's easy enough for him to tune it out.

Eventually night comes again and all hell seems to break loose. Of course, Tor and Odin are at the center of it, and Alan uses the commotion to his advantage. He makes his way to the building's main area and as he passes down a corridor and past a door, he hears a familiar voice yelling. He'd know that voice anywhere, even with what's left of the drugs Hartman pumped into him in his system. ]

Barry? What the- Hang on a second, I'm going to figure out how to get this door open.

[ As luck would have it, even though the door's locked, it's actually not a very heavy door, and Alan tries a combination of kicking it and launching himself at it to jar it open. Honestly, he's surprised that even worked, but hey, if it gets him in, that's what matters. ]

What the hell are you doing here, Barry?

"Al? Al! Oh, thank god, it's you. Hurry up and get the damn door open!"

[ Barry peaks out from behind the cut out of Alan from the Oh Deer Diner. As to why he has it and its locked up with him? Best not to ask. His arms go up to either side. ]

"Well, obviously, Al. We came here to bust you out! Hartman can have all the nice little diplomas on the wall he wants. That doesn't supersede the fact he'd need MY approval to admit you into this... nice little artist daycare! He showed us around and made a nice little detour. Then, locked us up in here. Man, it got dark fast. And we all know what happens when it gets dark."

[ Barry never properly explains the "we" or "us" he makes casually in his statements. He doesn't really need to. Not when Jesse Faden steps quietly from around the cutout as well, having been low to the floor in case the "big muscle" came back in to quiet Barry down. She doesn't say a word as Barry continues rambling on about the dark and how things can get "real spooky real fast." Her eyes stay on Alan for a moment, almost like she is taking in the fact he is really alive and there.

Barry barely gets the chance to move as the younger redhead passes by him--practically knocking him over--and making an immediate line for Alan. The instant she is in front of him, Jesse's arms wrap around his frame and she presses against him. Face is hidden in the shoulder of the tweed jacket that somehow smells like a forest and water at the same time as if he had been diving. Jesse tilts her head further into his shoulder and stays where she is, biting on her lip to the point she can taste the familiar tint of blood. She has to do something to keep everything contained in her that wants to burst out immediately. ]

"Uhhh... okay. I'm guessing you really do know each other." [ Barry glances between the two before shaking his head. ] "Whatever. Anyways, your uh 'assistant' as she's been calling herself found me in town. Explained you got thrown off a god damn cliff. When were you at a CLIFF? She found one of those manuscript pages that we've been finding all over the place. Said you'd be here. So, with all my legal capabilities, I led the charge straight in here to get you out."

[ Jesse practically flicks her eyes into the back of her skull. Her expression can't be seen by either man as she continues to hide her face in his jacket. A tremor starts in her hands that she tries to desperately control.

« You were right. He was here. I thought... I thought he'd end up like Mom and Dad. Ordinary. Dylan. But he's right here. » ]

[ The door all but flies open and Alan steps into the room, trying his best to keep his balance and not look as though he feels he just needs to sit down and not get back up for five minutes. Or ten. Maybe even twenty. But there's no time for that; he gives Barry a good looking over as if to assure himself that his old friend is alright. He certainly seems fine, if the rapid flow of words he's spouting is any indication. ]

Yeah... Well, thanks for that, I- Honestly, I didn't know what I was going to do. There was a diversion and I was trying to use that to get out, but I found you instead. And believe me, buddy, that's a million times better. [ Barry might be unconventional, but so is Alan, and in the end, Barry gets the job done. ]

But, uh, who's "us"? [ Alan's question barely leaves his mouth before he registers someone else stepping out from behind the cutout: not just any someone, but the person who he barged in on. It feels like that happened months ago, but he knows it hasn't been that long at all. He's about to say something surprised, because he hadn't expected her to be here either, but he doesn't have the chance to.

Jesse's crossing the room and making a beeline for him, all but throwing her arms around him in a hug. Instinctively, his own arms go around her as well and he pulls her in closer, just holding onto her while Barry looks on. ]

Uh, yeah, I thought... I thought she could help with the pages and the kidnapper and all the other crazy shit that's happened over the last... How long has it been, anyway?

[ Alan's grip on Jesse doesn't slack off, but at the mention of the cliff and the pages, he feels a pounding sensation starting in the back of his head and traveling to the front. It feels like having an ice pick shoved into his brain, and his eyes snap to Barry's in a split second. ]

Uh- I think I need to sit for a minute. [ But sitting is going to be hard with Jesse still in his arms, although he has no intention of letting her go. Since he can't really figure out a way to sit and still hold her, he scoots back an inch or two until his back is against the wall. Leaning isn't sitting down, but it'll have to do. ]

Hey, uh- Barry? [ He's still trying to regroup, trying to clear his head, but he knows he needs to say this before he forgets. ] Thanks for coming to get me, man.

[ And lest Jesse think he isn't grateful to her too, his hold on her tightens by a fraction and trusting that the wall will hold him up, he moves his free hand and places it on top of her hair. ]

"Yeah, Jesse mentioned something about that. APPARENTLY she had all the manuscript pages. Not Rose." [ Barry's tone reflects agitation, but maybe more at himself for being wrong on who to pick to trust. ] "And, you know--woah, Al!"

[ Polaris tugs at Jesse's mind before Alan even begins to move. Her head shoots up from his shoulder, stepping a half step back to look at him. He begins to move and her arms shift to try and support him against the wall. His hand rests on the top of her head, but the worried expression doesn't change.

« What's wrong? Did--did the jerk in charge of this do something to him? He needs to sit down. W-where's a chair? »

She turns to begin looking around for a chair to borrow. Barry raises a hand and waves it side to side, already on the way with the requested chair. Jesse steps away long enough for the chair to be put in front of the two. She stands almost perfectly still, eyes moving between each player in the room. ]

"As for your question? Al, did that quack give you something? You've been in Bright Falls over a week. You know. That week you're missing memories from? You wrote this entire manuscript--allegedly--in one week. Now, I'm not doubting when you put your mind to things, but this is some crazy shit to have written in a week."

[ « He really loves the sound of his own voice, doesn't he? »

Polaris shifts in amusement. ]

"Of course I'd come get you. Besides being your agent, we're best friends!"

[ Jesse pauses, remaining silent. Her eyes shift to the side slightly.

« Best friends, huh? I wouldn't know what thats like. You're my best friend... but I'm pretty sure it's not the same thing. » ]

Between you and me, none of this makes sense. The story, the pages, Alice... Is Alice in danger or isn't she? What can I even do here? And... And... [ He trails off around the same time that standing up becomes a problem. ]

Shit, I'm sorry, I don't even know why that happened. I'm fine, really. I just- I just need a moment.

[ A moment to figure out what the hell is going on and what the hell I was dreaming about before I woke up. None of this makes any sense. It wasn't making sense before, but now it's making even less. What the hell am I supposed to do?

Alan registers the scuff of the chair on the floor as Barry drags it into place, but even though he's still leaning heavily against the wall, he doesn't move to drop into the chair just yet. ]

A- a sedative, I think he said it was. He said... [ Alan stops, pressing a hand against his forehead as he tries to remember. ] Delusions? Confusion? Did I go insane and no one told me?

[ This is some crazy shit to have written in a week.

Alan pins Barry with a glance that's equal parts desperate, wild, and confused. ]

Barry, tell me I'm not going insane. I'm not losing my mind.

[ He is my best friend. I've known him for so long, he wouldn't hide the truth from me if I really am going insane, but if I'm not... he'd tell me, He wouldn't screw with me. Jesse wouldn't screw with me either. ]

Jesse? Do you think I'm going crazy?

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject