synthneon | oceanview || ❝ i must guide my love through the night. ❞

oceanview || ❝ i must guide my love through the night. ❞

OCEANVIEW II

into the dark, dark, dark.

I’m fighting to save my love somеhow
I cannot feel her by my side
Even in this placе inside my mind CODE BY TESSISAMESS

[ Alan's expression darkens then as every dark thought he's had comes back to the forefront of his mind in response to Jesse's words. ]

If it's been going on for that long, from even before Bright Falls was even on my radar, then why does everything feel like it's my fault? I don't mean that to sound like I'm making it all about me, that I'm being self-absorbed. All this horror, all these problems, they started with me. The problems that are happening now. Those are my fault.

[ He shakes his head, and although it makes his head hurt, he knows it's nothing like what Jesse's dealing with. ]

So asking you how to do that is pointless. [ What does it take to close a threshold? How do I close this one for good? This has to end; it needs to end permanently, so no one else dies or gets hurt. I know this is my fault. I'm done pretending. Was I ever pretending? I don't think so, but I'm sure some people out there think I'm dodging accepting responsibility. I'm not. I won't. ]

Good. That's what I want, more than anything. [ But to get what I want, I have to solve this. But how?

Maybe his hesitation makes no sense. Jesse's all but handing permission over to him on a silver platter, and still he hesitates. He wants her. She wants him. But he's hesitant. Scared, even. Why? Of what?

She's pulling off her tank top then, and kissing him slowly in a way that drives his senses insane. Not the kind of insanity of the Dark Place, but the kind that turns the dial up to 11. Desire, passion, longing- these are all things Alan feels. He wants to give into them and stop holding back.

This time, he rocks against her again; hard, but not uncomfortably so. There's force behind his movements, but he's doing his best to not be harsh. Maybe force isn't the right word. Speed? Urgency? He wants to feel her; he wants to take her to that place of ecstasy that takes some effort to reach. Or maybe it's really effortless in the end. Either way, it's worth it. ]

[ The look in her eyes softens. ] Because it's used you twice to get out, hasn't it? Made you write a story to set it free twice. It's used you, your power, your mind to do it. You are going to feel responsible. [ Her gaze flicks down and her eyebrows knit together. ] Ordinary was my fault. They used the projector how they wanted... but... the Buearu got the Slide Projector because of me. Dylan was taken because of me. The Hiss got to Trench because I led them to the Slide Projector. They found Hedron because I couldn't burn the slide that took me to where I met Hedron.

It doesn't matter if I was a kid. If I hadn't shown them it, the Hiss wouldn't have come through. [ Her forehead presses to his and she rocks against him again. ] Our screw ups have cost a lot of people. All we can do is try to make it better and fix it. Help avoid it in the future.

I never said it was pointless, Alan. Thresholds manifest by dimensions coming in contact with ours. Closing them is usually by stopping something at the source. The story this time. But, how do you keep an artist in the future from coming to the Lake? How do we break the connection to the Lake and the Dark Place? Maybe the Lake House team knows.

[ « What if none of that made any sense? Does he remember anything from the Motel, now that he's out? Does he remember anything I said about Ordinary? Is it better if he doesn't remember it? »

She nods again. Everything in her tells her to go, to move, to be his. But, everytime she moves her head she feels a spike of pain through her whole body and the pounding gets worse. She doesn't want to stop though. She wants be with Alan again. How long has it been...? ]

Then, let's do it. [ Her breathing deepens. ] I gave you the key, didn't I? The apartment is yours now too. I'll set up that extra room as a den--you can write or whatever you want to do now there. Everything else is big enough for two.

Two people and all their weirdness.

[ A gasp comes from her as he rocks in return. Not one of shock or pain, even if it should have set the pounding in her head off. No, this is desire, and she melts against him as she feels him. Has she ever wanted someone this much? It doesn't feel like it.

Her hands trail down his arms again to his elbows. The kiss breaks only so she can brush against his lips and press her hips to his. Down on top of him. The hesitation makes no sense. They want each other. So, what is she doing wrong? ]

I missed you. [ « Letting go means being honest. Right? Holding nothing back. What is he going to think? » ] I missed you as you. Alan Wake. The one who reached out to me on the Hotline. The thing only dead people or entities from other places can reach. The real Alan Wake, whose like me and sees the same world I do.

[ Her voice lowers. It softens. Part of her wants to keep all of this inside. Secret, hidden, protected. ] I've tried for so long to help you wake up... be here with me again. Now you are. We're here together again. A different Motel, but, us... just us. Alan and Jesse.

[ Fingers glide down his arms to his hands. They curl around the wrists and bring them up her back. Jesse shivers against him, another gasp coming from her, before settling his hands against the back of her bra. She rocks against him again and brushes her lips along his. ]

Let's just be us. No world ending situations. No crazy story. Not right now. [ Her head tilts as she tilts to kiss his cheek and adjust her hips against his. ] Do you remember? Or, do I need to wake the memories up?

Edited 2023-12-09 04:02 (UTC)

Twice. Yeah. Too many times for my liking. It has to stop sometime. I don't want it using me anymore, using me to hurt people. To kill them. I- You know I don't want anyone to die. [ I hate this story. It's not anything I'd ever write. I write crime novels, but I'd never kill anyone.

His own gaze turns downward as his guilt rises. ] I don't know if I ever asked you. How do you deal with it? The guilt. The responsibility. Knowing it's your fault. I know what I'd do.

[ I'd run myself into the ground trying to fix it. Trying to fix what I did. Trying to get people to see that I'm trying to do something. But it's never enough, is it? It doesn't feel like enough. How much do you have to give until people believe you're doing everything you can to make up for your screw-ups?

At least I think I got a few points in with the FBC, but- What about everyone else? Saga? Her family? ]

I'm trying to fix it. I'm trying to make it better. But even I can see that it looks like I'm not doing anything. Maybe some people even think I'm just letting it get worse. Letting the Dark Presence in on purpose. I'm not. I wouldn't.

[ I'm not a bad person. I'm not trying to hurt people.

His agitation is growing again as his doubts and fears start to rise. A look of horror settles into his eyes at the mere thought of another artist, unsuspecting or otherwise, coming to the lake. ]

This can't happen again. There has to be something we can do. [ He can't help the feeling of horror, of being haunted by the thought of another person being dragged into this hell. ]

If only there was a way to limit it. To keep anyone else from being dragged in. [ He rolls his eyes at himself. ]

I know it's not like that. It doesn't affect just one person at a time. That would be too easy.

[ God, I hate this. I hate how this has a ripple effect, growing bigger and bigger until it's too late to catch up. What if I'm too late? ]

I want that: I want to come to your apartment and just be there. Writing. Editing. Whatever. I want to be there with you.

[ I want to be anywhere but here. But that's not going to happen anytime soon. I wish it could. It can't. ]

Let me just ask one more time. [ He rocks against her again, harder and faster. ] If you take everything away, if you take away the fact that we're two people with all the weirdness in the world- why do you love me? Would you feel the same if I couldn't reach you on the Hotline?

[ She keeps on talking, and he keeps on listening, and when she places his hands against the back of her bra, they stay there for a moment. But after another moment, his right hand slips back around to the front of her, and with just his fingertips, he ghosts them along her chest, moving downward in purposeful, slow motions. ]

I like the idea of just being us. Just you and me. [ He waits for her to kiss his cheek, and then he returns the kiss by pressing his lips against hers. ]

I remember. They're awake. I'm awake. [ He kisses her again, deeper this time, if that's possible. ]

But... you could just talk. Just talk, and I'd listen. I'll always listen.

[ If I'm awake, I'll always listen to her. And maybe if I'm not awake, I'll still find a way to hear her. ]

I know. Fiction isn't reality and there's a difference in the two. You're not cruel, even if you can be an asshole. You wouldn't write something like this. [ Jesse feels she may sound like an echo chamber, but it's not her intention. She believes everything she says. Alan may be an asshole, he may have a mean streak, but she can't imagine he'd willingly torture real people like this horror story is doing. No one else may see it past their anger at him, but she does. Because she knows what it's like.] I ran away from it for a long time. I didn't see it was my fault because I was a kid... but it still is to some degree. If I hadn't led them to the Slide Projector, maybe the Hiss would have never shown up. If I hadn't run away scared on my own, Dylan wouldn't have grown up by himself in the Bureau. Everyone involved made their choices, but those were my choices to make up for.

I guess all we can do is move forward and try to make amends. Keep the same mistake from happening again. These forces would use someone else if they didn't use us.

[ She nods to his resolve. They can't always keep people away from Cauldron Lake. That's why they have the monitoring stations, fences, and teams on site. In case someone else has the fate of Zane, Alan or the Anderson Brothers. The Dark Presence is relentless and won't stop, but, they can do their best to be prepared.

He rocks against her and she gasps again. Her head tilts back despite how much the inside of her head doesn't want to move. He keeps asking her questions and talking when she wants to do anything but that. Not because she wants to ignore him, or hide from answering, but because she's already let go and wants to just be with him. Alan, though, doesn't seem to be at the same place just yet.

Her hands move back up his arms to cradle his head as his fingers draw down her chest. Jesse shivers in his arms, rocking against him again as a pleased moan comes from her. She can feel him despite the clothing, and feel how his calloused fingers tease her.

« And he says he's bad at romance. » ]

You believe me. [ Her answer finally comes in a short breathless sentence, practically melting in his hold. She presses against him to communicate he can do whatever he wants and she'll do it. ] When you ask questions it's to understand. Not judge me. You believe me. No one else like this did. Not even people in the Bureau fully understand. [ She rocks again and brushes her lips to his. ] You understand me even if I can't use words like you do. Even though I'm not an artist. I don't care if you're famous. You gave me as chance as me.

I can't--I can't put the weird aside. It's apart of me too much. [ She presses her forehead to his. Her darkened green eyes close at the feel of his fingertips again. ] I've never had a normal life like you did. It... it means a lot to have someone who had a normal life even listen.

[ The answer isn't what he's looking for. At least, she doesn't think it is. ] You care even if you act like you don't. That matters to people like me... and you're really good at kissing.

[ She smiles against his lips to try and underline the humor in the last statement. A deep sigh is against his mouth at his kiss. She would almost feel like she's floating if he wasn't grounding her with his arms. ]

You have a key to the apartment, it means it's your home too. Us in our apartment. If I talk, and you listen, I want to hear your stories.

[ It's something he's struggling with: trying to hold onto who he is and how he thinks and acts when the story is all darkness and horror and cruelty. But for reasons he hasn't allowed himself to think too long about, hearing Jesse's belief in him and belief in the fact that he just wouldn't write a story like this touches him unexpectedly. ]

I always wanted to be a writer. I loved writing. [ Do I still love writing even now? ] Thinking up plots, stories, characters... it was something I enjoyed. Maybe I wasn't good at it, but I loved it. But after this, I don't know if I can write anymore.

[ He silences as he listens to her talking. He talks so much, sometimes all he wants to do is listen and not say anything. ] What was it that you said to me once? That you would have had to deal with Hartman eventually? Maybe it's the same with the Hiss. Maybe they would have found a way in with or without you finding the Slide Projector. If there's anything that I've learned at all, it's that things have a way of happening with or without our involvement.

Maybe the Hiss coming is one of those things. I know that doesn't help or make it easier, because... [ Knowing that hasn't helped me feel better about any of this.

Her words sink in, and it's all that he needs to hear. He doesn't need to say anymore, although there are things he could say. He talks, and then he talks more, and he's tired of talking. Even if he doesn't like it when he stops talking and the silence starts to become deafening, right now, he doesn't want to talk.

His right hand that's at her chest moves further, fingers sliding beneath the bra in what feels like a bold move, or at least, the boldest one he's attempted this time. He wants to do more too, but it's about building up to it. And they're still wearing entirely too many clothes. ]

Then, tell stories instead of writing. For now--after we end this AWE. If you feel the desire to write again? Start writing them down. Bit by bit. [ « Not after how horrible this story has been. He may never be able go write again. I don't want it to be true, but, it's a real outcome that can happen. Hasn't the Dark Place taken enough from him? I don't want it to take away his ability to write too. » ] You can turn that extra room into a den. We'll plot stories together.

[ A small sigh. ] I don't know. Maybe. Polaris and the Hiss would always clash... and maybe they would of found the Slide Projector without me too. But, it doesn't change my part in the fight. My mess I made. I'm responsible for my part.

[ Her lips ghost along his again before her breath is sucked out of her. His hand curls around her breast. It feels familiar; something he's done before. She rocks against him again and into his hold to try and encourage him. Although, he may not need it, as he can definitely feel her arousal by the breast in his hand.

Not only can his words undo her, but apparently his touch as well. Is that just because she let him in so much? Because Polaris can amplify off him? Maybe it's just Alan by his nature and how she is by her nature. They naturally gravitate to one another and cause such intense reactions in the other. Or, she is looking for a complicated answer, when it's the simple answer of being in love is just simply like this.

Jesse moves to kiss him again but stops at a twinge of pain that shoots through her head. A slight shake is in her hands that cup her fscd. She isn't going to let the pain get in the way. Things caused by the Dark Presence and the story interfere too much.

« Not now. Not with this. »

One hand moves down to the hand at her chest, pressing it there to let him know they're not stopping. The other she uses as a guide to help her lay back down. Her head is instantly relieved, but the rest of her is already feeling the ache from being separate from him in just a few moments. The free hand raises once more to reach for him, giving a beckoning motion with her fingers.

« I'm in too deep with him, aren't I? There's no going back. I don't want to let him go. Did I realize that sometime in the first loop? When I realized I loved him? It had to be something like that. I couldn't have decided to go this far because of a whim randomly in one loop. I don't remember all of the details from in between them when we're here in Bright Falls... maybe I don't need to. The emotions might be enough. »

Her hands move back to his face as he moves with her. He might have plans, but first, Jesse kisses him full of hunger and need. ]

Edited 2023-12-14 18:28 (UTC)

[ He's still looking at her intently, hoping that the look in his eyes is enough to tell her that he's still with her, even if he's not answering her with words. Maybe now he's finally come to the point that words aren't needed, just actions. It's strange for him, because he relies on words to communicate, but the time has come for something else. Something different.

His hand is still curled around her breast, fingers alternating between being still and ghosting lightly on the skin there. She moves to kiss him, and he feels the way she stops, seeing her reaction to the pain in her head. He wants to hold her closer, to keep her still, to let her know that she doesn't need to move. The way her hands shake isn't lost on him. But before he can do anything, she's moving again, using his other hand as a guide to see her eased back into a lying down position.

Of course he follows her without even the slightest hesitation. From their new positions on the bed, she's still within easy reach of him, and the hand that guided her down moves to rest against her knee that's also within reach. From there, he allows his fingers to wander up her leg, to her thigh, and then to her hip before coming to a stop.

If she's in too deep, then he's drowning. Again. But it's a different kind of drowning. He's not drowning in despair or horror or hurt. No, he's drowning in feelings of ecstasy and wonder and love, and it's those feelings that drive him to return the kiss with an equal amount of hunger and want and a need to be filled up with that love, and fill her in return. This is a moment he never wants to end; he wants to savor it, to draw it out, to just be them for as much time as they have.

There's no story, no darkness, no terror. Just the two of them kissing, holding each other, and being together. And that's all Alan really needs right now. ]

[ Another quiet moan escapes as his fingers alternate their touch. The sensation feels as if small pings of energy run through her whole body; cutting through the pain in her mind. They try to lure her into a state of floating and melting at the same time. A part of her holds onto that last shred of Control, unsure if Alan would appreciate her entirely letting go. That small part of her is even scared to let go.

Even then, she still wants to. Especially as his other hand trails to her waistline. While not at a desperate state to join together, Jesse definitely finds herself arguing with letting that last bit go and being impatient. He clearly has something in mind.

She should be able to wait and let him do as he wants.

Do they both really want to be swept away entirely into these emotions? Let them dominate them, drive them, be in control?

Maybe all she needs to know is that letting go of control with him is safe. That he'd want her like that. That her without the powers and directorship is attractive and someone he wants--not just emotionally either.

She breaks their kiss only so she can inhale. It takes more focus to not rock her hips up into him at the moment. He clearly wants to do something. She just has to be patient.
Even when everything in her is starting to feel charged and yet threatened to be swept away as well. ]

[ What he wants is to remove the last barriers between them, the physical ones, not the emotional ones. In his mind, they've already gone past those emotional barriers, connecting in a way that brings two hearts together, even if the notion is a trite one. It works, though. Alan sees himself and Jesse as being one person. Connected. Inseparable, no matter how many times the story and the darkness try to pull them apart.

The problem is, the pull of the darkness is strong: a lot stronger than Alan could ever hope to be, but he's still stubbornly clinging to Jesse with everything he has.

His hand slides to the waistband of her pants, fingers curling around it as though he wants to slide it down and off her. There's the slightest amount of hesitation still ringing in his mind, but he pushes it away. It's not the time to hesitate. The signals she's giving him are clear, and now's the time to act. But they're still much too clothed, but tearing off her clothes probably isn't the best idea for either of them.

Maybe if he can just ease off what she's wearing and go from there, that'll be a good start.

Feeling emboldened, he moves to slide the pants down over her hips, prepared to stop if she even looks uncomfortable. Just because she's telling him without so many words that she wants this doesn't mean he can just act rashly. As he works, he brushes his lips against hers lightly once more. ]

[ Jesse can't describe it the same way Alan can. Not in a lack of words or expressing them, but more lacking in faith that someone would want to be involved with her at such a deep level. Admitting it means Alan has as much of a chance of leaving as he does staying. It's a reality she doesn't want to admit is possible.

She makes another pleased sound at the feel of his lips against hers and his hand removing her pants. She works with him the best she can, shimming out of them and kicking them off once she's slid each leg out. They were starting to feel restrictive and annoying. A sense of relief washes over her at the feel of the air of the Motel against her bare legs. It does little to help relieve the building feeling inside her, but, Alan seems to know what he wants to do. Rushing it doesn't seem to be that direction.

Although, she does guide the hand at her hip to slide between them. She places their hands between her legs, making another breathless sound against his mouth. Just so he can feel what he does to her and how much she wants this. Him. How much she's missed him.

Just in case the Dark Place has taken that knowledge away from him. ]

[ Maybe he should be more in a rush. Time always seems to be against them, one way or another. But as much as he wants to go in headfirst, going all the way with her and giving into those hungry desires that want to be fed, he also wants to savor these moments. To remember them. Maybe it's all pointless, as his memories get stolen away from him before he even realizes it, but somehow, it doesn't feel pointless to him.

He can feel how she responds to him even without her moving their hands to rest between her legs. But with their hands placed there, it becomes even clearer to him, and that, more than anything, only encourages him further. He rocks against her, not roughly, but with need and a thinly veiled urgency. He's missed her as much as she's missed him, and he tries to communicate that through his movements.

The Dark Place might be trying to steal everything from him, but it seems that these feelings and this knowledge are some things he's not willing to let go of so easily.

He breathily says her name against her mouth as he continues to rock his hips against hers, starting slowly and gradually increasing the pace. ]

[ Moments like this should be savored. The images and memories of their very first time are lost to the near countless versions of the story, but, the emotional imprint still seems to remain the same. Not only that, but for Jesse, it's continued to build. Every loop, every time around, those feelings just intensify. Maybe they've amplified in their own way. Each version resonating until it's reached a point where she memories of those emotions can't be erased by the story or the Dark Presence. Their intensity is whats made her so impatient; wanting to recapture and experience what she did once so many loops ago.

That doesn't mean they should rush.

She responds to her name with his, gasping at the feel of him against her. It's familiar and new at the same time and drives waves through her body. One hand threads back into his hair and the other wraps around his midsection to anchor herself. So that she can ride along with him and lose herself in the waves he's making inside her.

Her head tilts backwards as she archs into him. Her hips rock to meet his, causing the waves to intensify. Another gasp leaves her as she begins to shudder. She hardly cares if she finds release first or second, because she trusts him and has given him control of the situation. He can go as fast or slow, go as many rounds as he wants. As long as it's him and no one else steps through the door to interrupt them.

Her green eyes flutter shut as another wave crashes over her. Hands curl further into his hand and against his back. ]

Alan...

Edited 2024-01-02 17:12 (UTC)

[ It's always been there for Alan too, even if it hasn't seemed like it. The story and the darkness has done its best to make him forget everything, including those moments with Jesse, but he hasn't lost the imprint of them either. Maybe it took time for the momentum to build, as well as his sense of arousal, but both are clearly building up in him as he rocks against her more, pressing more of himself against her to meet her in the middle.

He's close to reaching his peak, the climax of it all, but he hasn't yet reached that threshold yet. If she reaches it first, or they reach it together is just a matter of timing as he trusts her just as much as she does him.

A moan of pleasure is his response to her saying his name and arching herself further into him. He doesn't want to stop, but every move from her pushes him closer to cresting that edge, that drop into a more relaxed state. She might be trusting him to lead, but he's just as much putty in her hands for her to work with however she wishes. ]

I love you... I love you.

[ The words slide breathlessly out of him as his hold on her tightens. ]

[ Alan says, and would say, he isn't a great writer. That he understands fundamentals, concepts, and genres and is decent in those genres. That while he knows those he isn't some amazing American novelist like he always wanted to be. That fame came to him cheaply over novels that in his eyes couldn't begin to rival the people that he strived to be like. He would believe every single negative comment, critique, and reinforce them in his mind.

Jesse, however, believes entirely that he has mastered words. Or, at the very least, he has mastered the words that will elect the exact right (and sometimes horribly wrong) reactions from her. No simple writer could do that, given how she has closed herself off to the world.

His simple statements of love are the catalyst that sends her off. The timed movement and the words together make everything flash, and she's curling around him and stretching out at the same time. A low moan finds its way out among the heavy breaths and pleased sounds that only Alan Wake seems to know how to pull from her.

It leaves her dizzy and slightly disorientated with her head pounding, but she manages to kiss him and trail her fingers along the back of his neck and waist. The little touches to bring him to the point she's been pushed to. Her eyes flutter open to wat her as he hits his release.

She doesn't want it to end.

If time isn't on their side, and they have so much to make up for...

Her fingers brush through his hair as he eases into that state of post-ecstacy. Not that she stays in that frame of mind for long herself. A brush of a kiss to his lips before she guides him to roll over to his back. She gently moves over him, not quite sitting on his hips, waiting to see if he wants more. She does. That gravitational pull to him wants more. She wants him, and all of him, and for him to take all of her. It's almost primal in a way, and she can't help but worry that part of her is because of Polaris... and if it will scare him.

« I miss him. I don't want to let him go anymore. I want this. »

The hand at his hair trails to his face, brushing along his jaw and beard. Her breathing is deep, but eyes dark and searching his. ]

I love you. [ The words make her tremble slightly and her heart pounds. ] Alan Wake.

[ « Writer. Parautalitarian. However he describes himself. »

She leans back, hands trailing down his bare chest to the waistband of his sweatpants. She guides them off as he had hers. Then, she reaches up to herself and removes her tank top. Fingers unhook the suddenly very annoying bra, but she let's it hang off her in case he wishes to remove it. ]

[ Of course he would be inclined to disagree with her. In many ways, he's his own worst critic, judging himself and his writing with a harsh lens. He wanted to be better than he feels he is, both as a writer and as a person, and in quite a few ways, he feels as though he's failed in that regard. He's a bestselling author, but who is his audience? Is the content that he's produced what he always imagined it would be? Now it seems as though he's not sure.

And maybe the ease with which he says words that elicit responses from her is just another sign of him falling into tropes and trite ways of speaking. But if he can get a reaction from her at all, he considers that a good thing. And he's gotten several reactions from her already, so at least he's managing to do something right.

He didn't take as big a hit as she did, but as he continues trying to pull those reactions from her, he's keenly aware of a feeling of dizziness. Not because he's pushing himself too hard or going too fast, but because just touching her like this is such a heady feeling that it's making his head swim. But he's coming closer to reaching his own climax and the pent up feeling is almost all he can think about. But release comes eventually, and all he wants to do is keep her close to him, where he can touch her and she can do the same to him.

She brushes a kiss against his lips and then indicates that she wants him to roll over. He does without hesitation, coming to a stop once he's positioned on his back. He can't remember the last time he felt this relaxed or this content, but he's feeling both things now and he doesn't want those feelings to end.

But when she moves to position herself almost above his hips, the message is clear. He rocks his hips upwards to brush them against hers once before lowering himself back down just in time for her hand to trail across his face and his beard. For reasons he's not sure of, the touch of her hand on his face always puts him at ease. It relaxes him somehow, even if she hasn't realized it.

His own breathing deepens as his eyes darken further with intense desire: desire for her. Desire to become one with her in all possible ways. ]

Jesse Faden. [ He echoes the way she says his name, drawing out each syllable slowly as if savoring the feel of her name on his tongue. ] Do you know... I love you more than I've loved anyone. [ Yes, even more than he loved Alice. He'll always love Alice, and he'll always remember her, but there's something about Jesse that's just even more meaningful. Impactful.

He shivers as her hands trail down his chest until they reach the pants he borrowed. He doesn't resist as she slides them off him. He wants to just lie there looking up at her, taking her in and memorizing her, but he reaches up to remove the bra that she's unhooked and let dangle.

They're close to being completely bare around each other, and honestly, that's fine with him. Clothes just get in the way, and he wants to be able to feel her with no obstructions. ]

[ If the tropes work, then what is wrong with that? Tropes exist for reasons. She's had so little experience with any of them that it hardly matters if it comes from a romance dictionary for authors. They're genuine, and that's what matters the most to her. She may tease him for being corny or obvious, but, she still smiled and her eyes seem to glow. That is what should matter most.

A shiver bolts up her spine with their hips touching. He's clear on what he wants, and she wants it too. She wants to bring them together and only focus on him for a time. A time that she hopes can make up for all their missed opportunities and moments. Not that it's possible to regain anything lost like time. All they can do is move forward and make good on what they have now.

Her attention moves back to his eyes the moment he says her name. It does something to her. Not only send her body quivering but making something tighten inside. He's never said her name like that and she realizes just how much control she's given to him. Of course, she's said she gave it all, but experiencing it is something else.

The question is clear in her eyes at his declaration: What about your wife?

She stays where she is, minus needing to move her arms to remove the bra as he pulls it down. Eyes intently looking into his for an answer. She doesn't want to replace Alice or cause them to end their marriage. He loves Alice enough to trap himself in another dimension, how can loving her supersede that? Should it?

Jesse removes the remaing of her underwear and lowers her hips to his. She rests over him, feeling him through the last remaining bit of clothing. Her head pounds at sitting upright. It hurts, but she wants to make him happy. Bring him to a point she is at. He can't do all the work for them. Her injury can simply deal with the situation.

She shifts her hips experimentally against his. She rubs against him, watching what reactions the Writer might have. Her hands raise then to his, guiding them along her sides. Hopefully, he will understand her meaning. She wants him to touch her everywhere--kiss her everywhere. Explore and find his favorite spots. Ahe can take care of him in the mean time. ]

[ That is what matters most to Alan: seeing her smiling and seeing the way her eyes glow and light up. It makes something inside him start to glow in turn. When he sees her looking happy, he feels happy. Content. There hasn't been very much of anything that made him feel either of those things around here. The Dark Place doesn't thrive on happiness or contentment.

What he wants more than anything is to please her, to excite her and her senses and bring her to the brink of pleasure. If he can manage that, then he'll consider himself fulfilled. A part of him wonders if he can manage it, if she's attracted to him as much as that. Maybe in his younger years, he thought of himself as capable of exciting any woman, but now, he can't help but doubt himself.

Still, doubting himself won't get either of them anywhere, and it certainly won't please her in the way that he wants it to. All I want is to make her happy, to give her what she wants. ]

Jesse... [ He breathes out her name again, that desire still plain in his voice. He's given over control to her too; she could ask him to do anything, tell him to do anything, and he would do his best to do it.

He sees the look in her eyes, and he responds by rocking himself against her again. He will always care about Alice, and a part of him will always miss her, but he loves Jesse. For him, there is no question about whether or not he should love her or let that love grow. It already has grown, and now there's no stopping it.

She's sitting upright, and she seems to be managing to stay that way, but he can't stop himself from eyeing her with worry. Maybe sitting up isn't the best thing for her right now. He moves to tug at her arms, but she's moving his hands to rest against her sides as she rubs herself against him. His own reactions are almost instantaneous, signs of arousal beginning to appear as his eyes darken with desire and longing. If she wants him to kiss and touch her everywhere? He can do that. He leans in slightly so that he can brush kisses down her neck and to her collarbone.

He wants to let his hands roam everywhere, over parts that might be more sensitive than others, but for now, his hands ghost over her hips and thighs as his arousal continues to build. ]

[ Again, he says her name in that way, and her reaction is instantaneous. Her body quivers again as her hands curl into the sheets underneath them. The feeling insider her tightens again and she presses down on him as he rocks against her. She moans gently, fully aware now that he could just say her name like that while rocking against her and she'd come undone for him.

And he insists he doesn't have a way with words.

The feeling inside her wants to let him run complete control over her and their actions. She would, if she wasn't determined to make him feel like she does at the moment. She wants both their minds present on only each other and please one another. The story can rail and complain all it wants. This time is theirs and she won't let it dictate anything.

Even if her head tilts down to help the pressure inside it.

She rocks against him again, quickly and small movements, intending to help build him. Except the moment he kisses her neck and she feels his arousal? Jesse finds herself stopping as that feeling inside takes font stage. She moans again, shuddering on top of him as his fingers glide to her thighs and his attention goes to her collarbone. Her hand raises to grab onto the headboard to steady her as her whole body reacts to just the slightest of touches.

She's missed this. Him. Being exposed and being at his whims. She's missed trusting him like this with herself. Leaving thr decisions to the man she loves and simply feeling that love envelope her.

Her hazed green eyes look for his. Thyley lock on and her breathing deepens again. It doesn't take much for him to set her going it seems and she's fine with that. She just wants more. ]

Alan. [ She says his name this time in the same tones he gave her. Hips press and grind against him to communicate it just in case he can't put it together with just her actions. ] ...I love you.

[ « Maybe more than I should.

Trusting someone like this... is this normal or... is it dangerous? »

She ghosts her lips over his before lifting her hips from him. Just enough so she can finally help remove his last piece of clothing. ]

[ All he wants is to please her, to make up for every time he let her down or hurt her or was unable to be who she needed him to be, because the Dark Presence kept dragging him away. To him, seeing her needs met is more important than anything else. In this moment, he comes second.

It's not about being in control, although he'd take the lead if she asked or wants it, but for him, the priority is making her feel good, making this a positive experience for her. He knows she wants to see him pleased and feeling good as well, but he just wants to ensure that her needs are met.

But in spite of himself, a low moan of pleasure bursts from him when she begins to rock herself against him, slowly and in small movements. It's teasing him, driving his senses mad but in a good way, and his arousal builds and the physical signs of it should be apparent as his body reacts. But still his fingers move to touch and caress her and he presses kisses to whatever he can reach.

His arousal continues to grow, but he's maintaining enough awareness of himself and of her to keep touching her and giving her what she needs and wants. ]

Jesse... [ I love her. She's- beautiful. ] You're- beautiful. Gorgeous. And smart, smarter than anyone I know. [ His tone is breathless as he compliments her. They're not just words to fill up a space; he means every one of them, and he hopes she believes him. ] How did I get this lucky?

[ He moans again, louder this time as she removes that last piece of clothing from him. No clothes, no layers, nothing between them. That's how this is supposed to be. ]

Edited 2024-01-27 20:05 (UTC)

[ An errant thought crosses her mind, despite how much all of her is in the moment. The Motel staff must be annoyed that two residents are engaging in what is usually considered a night time activity. It almost amuses her to some degree: the cleaning staff hearing the sounds beyond the door in broad daylight. It would embarrass her if not for the fact that when night comes? They won't get this chance. The horrors come out at night and in the dark.

A satisfied smirk plays out on her face at his reactions, both vocal and physical. She wants their choices to be driven by their needs and wants, not necessarily the guilt or concept of righting a wrong. Just... them. With their weirdness.

Then, a huff of breath that could almost be a bashful laugh. ] Maybe smart.. maybe gorgeous. Thanks, though.

[ She looks down at him below her, purposely not bringing them together just yet. Instead, hee fingers gently trail up his arms, elbows, shoulders, neck. Then, they rest back at his sides. She moves forward, lowering her chest to his, but keeping their hips apart. She brushes her lips to his neck then mouth. His beard feels good on her skin, but makes it difficult to kiss his jaw or cheeks.

Even though everything inside of her is begging to bring him in? Jesse wants him to pull them together. She wants him to feel the satisfaction and accomplishment of reuniting them. Maybe it's a strange or even silly idea. But, she can't help but want him to feel that achievement. She's tried so long to wake him up and bring him home. He's tried so hard to get back home... back to her.

« He needs to feel that more than I do. That he can take a hold of something and accomplish it. Do it on his own terms. Even if it's just me. »

She shifts her chest against his, moving up and down in those suggestive moments, but keeps them apart. He just needs a little more. Her head tilts to brush her mouth along what she can of his neck. ]

Lucky? [ She repeats the word breathlessly. Then, she pulls back to rest on her knees, still hovering over him. Her hands trace his arms again before finding his own hands. Fingers curl around his wrists before guiding them up her sides, to her front, and to her breasts. She presses their hands to them and a gentle moan comes from her. Her body reacts instantly by pressing against his hands and her hips shifting against nothing. ] No... we're--I'm lucky to have you... someone who understands the world... who doesn't think I'm crazy...

[ Her gaze softens to him, letting down that final wall. The vulnerability is all in her eyes. The years of loneliness, self-preservation, distrust, paranoia. She guides one hand from her chest up to her face. Then, she briefly rests her cheek in his palm before turning her head to it. Kisses are left to each finger where the callous from striking a typewriter endlessly have formed. ]

Crazy Jesse Faden who can't accept what everyone in the world says about her hometown. Delusional, not attached to reality, unstable, who needs an institution to bring her back to reality... [ Her voice drops to those soft tones again. Her lips brush against his fingers once more as her other hand curls at his against her chest. ] I was lucky enough to find the Bureau... and Dylan... but to find you too? And not just to another random person in the story?

[ She kisses his palm, the inside of his wrist, trying to find what will bring him to that last step. What will make him unwind just enough to let go of his doubts and worries and--in a primal way of putting it--claim her as his. ]

I'm lucky... and I'm not letting you go.

[ If Alan knew what was going through Jesse's mind, he'd have his own contribution to make. Namely that the two of them try to make as much noise as they can, for at least a minute or two. But that's mostly the side of him that's still a little bit of a troublemaker talking.

But as fun as that might be, all Alan really wants is to have time with Jesse... time that's just them. And they're having that time and he doesn't want to waste it on something like that. ]

Not maybe, I know you are.

[ He sounds breathless as his arousal increases but somehow he has yet to drop over that edge. That is, until her fingers trail over him before coming back to his sides. She's leaning over him but their hips are still apart, and he feels the urge to rise up to meet her. Her lips against his neck draws out another moan and his head tips back a little further.

He already came close to reaching his climax once but it seems that with every touch, he gets even closer. The desire to just be one with her is too strong to ignore, so his hands slide around her, starting to pull her back in but not closing the space just yet.

I know we've come this close before. We've felt like this before, but this time... it's different. I don't want to forget it. Please don't let me forget it.

If the memory of this gets washed away by the waves, a part of Alan feels as though he'll know it. He'll know it happened and he'll miss it. Maybe part of him misses the other times they've done this, but there's something about this time that's different than the others.

He doesn't want to think about this as his reward for trying so hard, but maybe that's what it is, if he allows himself to be that sentimental. She guides his hands again over more sensitive areas before coming to a stop at her breasts. He's not sure how much longer he can keep from reaching the peak of his arousal, not that he's holding back for any reason.

With how close they are, she might be able to feel how fast his heart is beating as he takes another step towards his climax. Just the right touch in just the right way should send him into that next step. ]

You're not crazy, just crazy for choosing me, when you could have chosen anyone. [ He's breathing heavily from desire but he still manages to speak somehow. ]

Anyone who ever called you those things can.. can just leave. [ They don't matter. The only thing that matters in this moment is the two of them. ]

I'm never letting you go. Never. I'll fight the story, I'll fight the darkness, but I won't let you go.

[ And suddenly, just like that, he falls over the edge into the release from the building pressure into something that's no less wild and pulling at his senses. His hands curl tighter around her as he holds her even closer.

She's mine. I'm hers. That's all that matters. ]

I'll never let you go.

[ A fond smile replaces the smug satisfaction on her face. He knows, does he? She doesn't feel as beautiful or smart as he seems to believe she is. Just... a person who gets the job done. A job no one else will or can do, but, the job nonetheless. She won't argue with him. He's just as stubborn as her when he's convinced.

She does, however, watch him intently. Each reaction to each movement or kiss she gives him. He seems to enough the feel of her hands almost anywhere, and enjoy the kisses placed to his hand. Maybe even more than her hips grinding against his as she did just moments before. She'll need to remember that. ]

They can just leave, huh? [ A tone of teasing but flirting fills her voice as she kisses his wrist again. She can feel his heart race and it's only matched by her own. ] Good thing they left a long time ago.

[ A gasp comes from her ad he finally brings them together. Her head lowers as she moans quietly for him. With no hesitation her body moves with his, eyes raised to his face as they move. The words he says bring her to the edge, but she holds herself back, moving with him. Working to bring him to that place of ecstacy first.

Maybe it is a reward for making it as far as he has. For being able to return to her.

Jesse presses against him, rocking with him as his release finally happens. She smiles triumphantly, her own pleased sound leaving her as he slows. Her body trembles with her own built up pleasure. But, that idea of him taking control of the situation and playing with her as he sees fit is far too tempting.

She lowers her head before resting it against his forehead. Her breathing is heavy, eyes latching onto his the moment they open. That hunger for him is obvious in her gaze. Not just from her as Jesse, but that almost primal need to be brighter because of him. Louder. More than any other resonance or darkness in the area. ]

Alan... [ Her tones are almost similar to one's he hears in his mind when Polaris reaches out. ]

[ Even if she doesn't feel that way, that's how he sees her, and what he sees makes him believe it wholeheartedly. Well, what he believes in is her and her ability to make him feel... everything. Everything from happiness to contentment to believing that with her help, they'll figure this out. The story will end because they want it to end so badly. He can't see how it'll all end, but maybe she still can. Maybe believing in it enough, visualizing it enough... it'll make it real.

God, I want it to be real.

As for what he likes about her touches, the truth of it is, she could touch him anywhere, do anything to him, and he'd respond to it. Even her hips grinding against his stirred up something inside him, something he thought was long buried. Maybe the reaction wasn't so obvious in his face or in how his body reacted, but he felt it.

His heart is still racing even when that moment of release comes, and his breath comes out in fast gasps as all of his senses feel like they've been dialed up to fifteen. Adrenaline continues to drive him, as does the urge to just let go of everything, of all his inhibitions and just take her.

That hungry look in her eyes only adds to that longing to just give in and claim her. They're one anyway, and if she wanted to take him too, he'd let her. There's nothing he wouldn't let her do, and taking him as hers is just one of those things. He belongs to her already, so why not? ]

Jesse. [ They're so close already, but he leans in more and all but crashes his mouth onto hers in a deep, hungry kiss. After a second, he starts to trace alongside the outside of her mouth with his tongue. ]

[ The story has to end. AWEs can't go on forever. It's just finding out what the trick is to ending it. Each event is different. This one centers around Alan because of the nature of the Dark Place. The way the story flows because of Scratch. The back and forth between the two to come back into this reality and who will be the one in charge.

« I wish it was as simple as just beating Scratch like it is an Altered Item. »

Her eyes never leave his, intently watching all the little things of his reaction. Is he tired? Should they stop here? How hungry is he for her? Does he feel that same almost otherworldly but primal need? Maybe not to be brighter, but to be louder. If so, then, she wants him to do it. Bring her to that point she has brought him. Make her feel nothing else but him.

Her heart pounds in her ears. The name slips out and she feels everything in her curl and tighten. Alan could just say her name and she would come undone for him. Not that he has said it the "magic" way yet, but, he's so close.

Lips crash onto hers and she moans against his mouth. Hands curl in the sheets beside him, entirely melting into his arms. She still moves against him, trying to communicate asking for him to take her. Making sure she is his and no one else's. Her tongue meets his even as her usually controlled movements in everything become more emotional. All most erratic.

She loves him so much that is almost hurts. Not that being in love with him hurts. The idea of losing him like she's lost Dylan, her family, her friends from Ordinary. He's become so much apart of her world she can't imagine letting him go leave it.

Ever. ]

Edited 2024-02-19 02:53 (UTC)

[ Part of the issue is, Alan feels that if the story doesn't end, if he stays trapped in it forever, he won't get what he wants for himself, but then maybe he can steer it in such a way that no one else gets hurt by it, except for himself. Of course, that's dependent on him mastering what he needs to master in order to gain the upper hand, but maybe he can figure that out if he works at it long enough.

But then the other issue remains with Jesse, because he's certain she won't let him go in order to make that happen. She won't accept him being trapped by the story forever.

He frowns briefly and he shakes his head once, temporarily dismissing that idea to the back of his mind. It's something to think about, but not right now. Right now, he just wants to think about them. He just wants to feel them coming together. He wants to feel Jesse as she reacts to his touches and kisses.

He never wants to stop touching her, never wants to be apart from her unless their respective responsibilities demand it. Even then, it's not a permanent parting. Then he knows that he can't ever go for the idea in the back of his mind. He can't have it both ways, after all. No, the story has to end. He needs it to end.

Then it hits him: what she needs is something she can hold onto, if she can remember this after this moment, this loop ends. He needs to make her his. He needs to be made hers. He's done this before, so he's not whole and untouched, but he's never done this with her. Well, he might have once in the loops, but the memory of it is hard to grab onto.

To make her his, he has to remove that last barrier, and with that in mind, he takes that plunge, that step that goes beyond intimate touches and crosses into the kind of connection that should signify commitment: a lasting commitment and bond. At least, that's what Alan hopes for, for the two of them. ]

Edited 2024-02-20 03:52 (UTC)

oceanview || ❝ i must guide my love through the night. ❞

OCEANVIEW II

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