synthneon | oceanview || ❝ i must guide my love through the night. ❞

oceanview || ❝ i must guide my love through the night. ❞

OCEANVIEW II

into the dark, dark, dark.

I’m fighting to save my love somеhow
I cannot feel her by my side
Even in this placе inside my mind CODE BY TESSISAMESS

[ Moments like this should be savored. The images and memories of their very first time are lost to the near countless versions of the story, but, the emotional imprint still seems to remain the same. Not only that, but for Jesse, it's continued to build. Every loop, every time around, those feelings just intensify. Maybe they've amplified in their own way. Each version resonating until it's reached a point where she memories of those emotions can't be erased by the story or the Dark Presence. Their intensity is whats made her so impatient; wanting to recapture and experience what she did once so many loops ago.

That doesn't mean they should rush.

She responds to her name with his, gasping at the feel of him against her. It's familiar and new at the same time and drives waves through her body. One hand threads back into his hair and the other wraps around his midsection to anchor herself. So that she can ride along with him and lose herself in the waves he's making inside her.

Her head tilts backwards as she archs into him. Her hips rock to meet his, causing the waves to intensify. Another gasp leaves her as she begins to shudder. She hardly cares if she finds release first or second, because she trusts him and has given him control of the situation. He can go as fast or slow, go as many rounds as he wants. As long as it's him and no one else steps through the door to interrupt them.

Her green eyes flutter shut as another wave crashes over her. Hands curl further into his hand and against his back. ]

Alan...

Edited 2024-01-02 17:12 (UTC)

[ It's always been there for Alan too, even if it hasn't seemed like it. The story and the darkness has done its best to make him forget everything, including those moments with Jesse, but he hasn't lost the imprint of them either. Maybe it took time for the momentum to build, as well as his sense of arousal, but both are clearly building up in him as he rocks against her more, pressing more of himself against her to meet her in the middle.

He's close to reaching his peak, the climax of it all, but he hasn't yet reached that threshold yet. If she reaches it first, or they reach it together is just a matter of timing as he trusts her just as much as she does him.

A moan of pleasure is his response to her saying his name and arching herself further into him. He doesn't want to stop, but every move from her pushes him closer to cresting that edge, that drop into a more relaxed state. She might be trusting him to lead, but he's just as much putty in her hands for her to work with however she wishes. ]

I love you... I love you.

[ The words slide breathlessly out of him as his hold on her tightens. ]

[ Alan says, and would say, he isn't a great writer. That he understands fundamentals, concepts, and genres and is decent in those genres. That while he knows those he isn't some amazing American novelist like he always wanted to be. That fame came to him cheaply over novels that in his eyes couldn't begin to rival the people that he strived to be like. He would believe every single negative comment, critique, and reinforce them in his mind.

Jesse, however, believes entirely that he has mastered words. Or, at the very least, he has mastered the words that will elect the exact right (and sometimes horribly wrong) reactions from her. No simple writer could do that, given how she has closed herself off to the world.

His simple statements of love are the catalyst that sends her off. The timed movement and the words together make everything flash, and she's curling around him and stretching out at the same time. A low moan finds its way out among the heavy breaths and pleased sounds that only Alan Wake seems to know how to pull from her.

It leaves her dizzy and slightly disorientated with her head pounding, but she manages to kiss him and trail her fingers along the back of his neck and waist. The little touches to bring him to the point she's been pushed to. Her eyes flutter open to wat her as he hits his release.

She doesn't want it to end.

If time isn't on their side, and they have so much to make up for...

Her fingers brush through his hair as he eases into that state of post-ecstacy. Not that she stays in that frame of mind for long herself. A brush of a kiss to his lips before she guides him to roll over to his back. She gently moves over him, not quite sitting on his hips, waiting to see if he wants more. She does. That gravitational pull to him wants more. She wants him, and all of him, and for him to take all of her. It's almost primal in a way, and she can't help but worry that part of her is because of Polaris... and if it will scare him.

« I miss him. I don't want to let him go anymore. I want this. »

The hand at his hair trails to his face, brushing along his jaw and beard. Her breathing is deep, but eyes dark and searching his. ]

I love you. [ The words make her tremble slightly and her heart pounds. ] Alan Wake.

[ « Writer. Parautalitarian. However he describes himself. »

She leans back, hands trailing down his bare chest to the waistband of his sweatpants. She guides them off as he had hers. Then, she reaches up to herself and removes her tank top. Fingers unhook the suddenly very annoying bra, but she let's it hang off her in case he wishes to remove it. ]

[ Of course he would be inclined to disagree with her. In many ways, he's his own worst critic, judging himself and his writing with a harsh lens. He wanted to be better than he feels he is, both as a writer and as a person, and in quite a few ways, he feels as though he's failed in that regard. He's a bestselling author, but who is his audience? Is the content that he's produced what he always imagined it would be? Now it seems as though he's not sure.

And maybe the ease with which he says words that elicit responses from her is just another sign of him falling into tropes and trite ways of speaking. But if he can get a reaction from her at all, he considers that a good thing. And he's gotten several reactions from her already, so at least he's managing to do something right.

He didn't take as big a hit as she did, but as he continues trying to pull those reactions from her, he's keenly aware of a feeling of dizziness. Not because he's pushing himself too hard or going too fast, but because just touching her like this is such a heady feeling that it's making his head swim. But he's coming closer to reaching his own climax and the pent up feeling is almost all he can think about. But release comes eventually, and all he wants to do is keep her close to him, where he can touch her and she can do the same to him.

She brushes a kiss against his lips and then indicates that she wants him to roll over. He does without hesitation, coming to a stop once he's positioned on his back. He can't remember the last time he felt this relaxed or this content, but he's feeling both things now and he doesn't want those feelings to end.

But when she moves to position herself almost above his hips, the message is clear. He rocks his hips upwards to brush them against hers once before lowering himself back down just in time for her hand to trail across his face and his beard. For reasons he's not sure of, the touch of her hand on his face always puts him at ease. It relaxes him somehow, even if she hasn't realized it.

His own breathing deepens as his eyes darken further with intense desire: desire for her. Desire to become one with her in all possible ways. ]

Jesse Faden. [ He echoes the way she says his name, drawing out each syllable slowly as if savoring the feel of her name on his tongue. ] Do you know... I love you more than I've loved anyone. [ Yes, even more than he loved Alice. He'll always love Alice, and he'll always remember her, but there's something about Jesse that's just even more meaningful. Impactful.

He shivers as her hands trail down his chest until they reach the pants he borrowed. He doesn't resist as she slides them off him. He wants to just lie there looking up at her, taking her in and memorizing her, but he reaches up to remove the bra that she's unhooked and let dangle.

They're close to being completely bare around each other, and honestly, that's fine with him. Clothes just get in the way, and he wants to be able to feel her with no obstructions. ]

[ If the tropes work, then what is wrong with that? Tropes exist for reasons. She's had so little experience with any of them that it hardly matters if it comes from a romance dictionary for authors. They're genuine, and that's what matters the most to her. She may tease him for being corny or obvious, but, she still smiled and her eyes seem to glow. That is what should matter most.

A shiver bolts up her spine with their hips touching. He's clear on what he wants, and she wants it too. She wants to bring them together and only focus on him for a time. A time that she hopes can make up for all their missed opportunities and moments. Not that it's possible to regain anything lost like time. All they can do is move forward and make good on what they have now.

Her attention moves back to his eyes the moment he says her name. It does something to her. Not only send her body quivering but making something tighten inside. He's never said her name like that and she realizes just how much control she's given to him. Of course, she's said she gave it all, but experiencing it is something else.

The question is clear in her eyes at his declaration: What about your wife?

She stays where she is, minus needing to move her arms to remove the bra as he pulls it down. Eyes intently looking into his for an answer. She doesn't want to replace Alice or cause them to end their marriage. He loves Alice enough to trap himself in another dimension, how can loving her supersede that? Should it?

Jesse removes the remaing of her underwear and lowers her hips to his. She rests over him, feeling him through the last remaining bit of clothing. Her head pounds at sitting upright. It hurts, but she wants to make him happy. Bring him to a point she is at. He can't do all the work for them. Her injury can simply deal with the situation.

She shifts her hips experimentally against his. She rubs against him, watching what reactions the Writer might have. Her hands raise then to his, guiding them along her sides. Hopefully, he will understand her meaning. She wants him to touch her everywhere--kiss her everywhere. Explore and find his favorite spots. Ahe can take care of him in the mean time. ]

[ That is what matters most to Alan: seeing her smiling and seeing the way her eyes glow and light up. It makes something inside him start to glow in turn. When he sees her looking happy, he feels happy. Content. There hasn't been very much of anything that made him feel either of those things around here. The Dark Place doesn't thrive on happiness or contentment.

What he wants more than anything is to please her, to excite her and her senses and bring her to the brink of pleasure. If he can manage that, then he'll consider himself fulfilled. A part of him wonders if he can manage it, if she's attracted to him as much as that. Maybe in his younger years, he thought of himself as capable of exciting any woman, but now, he can't help but doubt himself.

Still, doubting himself won't get either of them anywhere, and it certainly won't please her in the way that he wants it to. All I want is to make her happy, to give her what she wants. ]

Jesse... [ He breathes out her name again, that desire still plain in his voice. He's given over control to her too; she could ask him to do anything, tell him to do anything, and he would do his best to do it.

He sees the look in her eyes, and he responds by rocking himself against her again. He will always care about Alice, and a part of him will always miss her, but he loves Jesse. For him, there is no question about whether or not he should love her or let that love grow. It already has grown, and now there's no stopping it.

She's sitting upright, and she seems to be managing to stay that way, but he can't stop himself from eyeing her with worry. Maybe sitting up isn't the best thing for her right now. He moves to tug at her arms, but she's moving his hands to rest against her sides as she rubs herself against him. His own reactions are almost instantaneous, signs of arousal beginning to appear as his eyes darken with desire and longing. If she wants him to kiss and touch her everywhere? He can do that. He leans in slightly so that he can brush kisses down her neck and to her collarbone.

He wants to let his hands roam everywhere, over parts that might be more sensitive than others, but for now, his hands ghost over her hips and thighs as his arousal continues to build. ]

[ Again, he says her name in that way, and her reaction is instantaneous. Her body quivers again as her hands curl into the sheets underneath them. The feeling insider her tightens again and she presses down on him as he rocks against her. She moans gently, fully aware now that he could just say her name like that while rocking against her and she'd come undone for him.

And he insists he doesn't have a way with words.

The feeling inside her wants to let him run complete control over her and their actions. She would, if she wasn't determined to make him feel like she does at the moment. She wants both their minds present on only each other and please one another. The story can rail and complain all it wants. This time is theirs and she won't let it dictate anything.

Even if her head tilts down to help the pressure inside it.

She rocks against him again, quickly and small movements, intending to help build him. Except the moment he kisses her neck and she feels his arousal? Jesse finds herself stopping as that feeling inside takes font stage. She moans again, shuddering on top of him as his fingers glide to her thighs and his attention goes to her collarbone. Her hand raises to grab onto the headboard to steady her as her whole body reacts to just the slightest of touches.

She's missed this. Him. Being exposed and being at his whims. She's missed trusting him like this with herself. Leaving thr decisions to the man she loves and simply feeling that love envelope her.

Her hazed green eyes look for his. Thyley lock on and her breathing deepens again. It doesn't take much for him to set her going it seems and she's fine with that. She just wants more. ]

Alan. [ She says his name this time in the same tones he gave her. Hips press and grind against him to communicate it just in case he can't put it together with just her actions. ] ...I love you.

[ « Maybe more than I should.

Trusting someone like this... is this normal or... is it dangerous? »

She ghosts her lips over his before lifting her hips from him. Just enough so she can finally help remove his last piece of clothing. ]

[ All he wants is to please her, to make up for every time he let her down or hurt her or was unable to be who she needed him to be, because the Dark Presence kept dragging him away. To him, seeing her needs met is more important than anything else. In this moment, he comes second.

It's not about being in control, although he'd take the lead if she asked or wants it, but for him, the priority is making her feel good, making this a positive experience for her. He knows she wants to see him pleased and feeling good as well, but he just wants to ensure that her needs are met.

But in spite of himself, a low moan of pleasure bursts from him when she begins to rock herself against him, slowly and in small movements. It's teasing him, driving his senses mad but in a good way, and his arousal builds and the physical signs of it should be apparent as his body reacts. But still his fingers move to touch and caress her and he presses kisses to whatever he can reach.

His arousal continues to grow, but he's maintaining enough awareness of himself and of her to keep touching her and giving her what she needs and wants. ]

Jesse... [ I love her. She's- beautiful. ] You're- beautiful. Gorgeous. And smart, smarter than anyone I know. [ His tone is breathless as he compliments her. They're not just words to fill up a space; he means every one of them, and he hopes she believes him. ] How did I get this lucky?

[ He moans again, louder this time as she removes that last piece of clothing from him. No clothes, no layers, nothing between them. That's how this is supposed to be. ]

Edited 2024-01-27 20:05 (UTC)

[ An errant thought crosses her mind, despite how much all of her is in the moment. The Motel staff must be annoyed that two residents are engaging in what is usually considered a night time activity. It almost amuses her to some degree: the cleaning staff hearing the sounds beyond the door in broad daylight. It would embarrass her if not for the fact that when night comes? They won't get this chance. The horrors come out at night and in the dark.

A satisfied smirk plays out on her face at his reactions, both vocal and physical. She wants their choices to be driven by their needs and wants, not necessarily the guilt or concept of righting a wrong. Just... them. With their weirdness.

Then, a huff of breath that could almost be a bashful laugh. ] Maybe smart.. maybe gorgeous. Thanks, though.

[ She looks down at him below her, purposely not bringing them together just yet. Instead, hee fingers gently trail up his arms, elbows, shoulders, neck. Then, they rest back at his sides. She moves forward, lowering her chest to his, but keeping their hips apart. She brushes her lips to his neck then mouth. His beard feels good on her skin, but makes it difficult to kiss his jaw or cheeks.

Even though everything inside of her is begging to bring him in? Jesse wants him to pull them together. She wants him to feel the satisfaction and accomplishment of reuniting them. Maybe it's a strange or even silly idea. But, she can't help but want him to feel that achievement. She's tried so long to wake him up and bring him home. He's tried so hard to get back home... back to her.

« He needs to feel that more than I do. That he can take a hold of something and accomplish it. Do it on his own terms. Even if it's just me. »

She shifts her chest against his, moving up and down in those suggestive moments, but keeps them apart. He just needs a little more. Her head tilts to brush her mouth along what she can of his neck. ]

Lucky? [ She repeats the word breathlessly. Then, she pulls back to rest on her knees, still hovering over him. Her hands trace his arms again before finding his own hands. Fingers curl around his wrists before guiding them up her sides, to her front, and to her breasts. She presses their hands to them and a gentle moan comes from her. Her body reacts instantly by pressing against his hands and her hips shifting against nothing. ] No... we're--I'm lucky to have you... someone who understands the world... who doesn't think I'm crazy...

[ Her gaze softens to him, letting down that final wall. The vulnerability is all in her eyes. The years of loneliness, self-preservation, distrust, paranoia. She guides one hand from her chest up to her face. Then, she briefly rests her cheek in his palm before turning her head to it. Kisses are left to each finger where the callous from striking a typewriter endlessly have formed. ]

Crazy Jesse Faden who can't accept what everyone in the world says about her hometown. Delusional, not attached to reality, unstable, who needs an institution to bring her back to reality... [ Her voice drops to those soft tones again. Her lips brush against his fingers once more as her other hand curls at his against her chest. ] I was lucky enough to find the Bureau... and Dylan... but to find you too? And not just to another random person in the story?

[ She kisses his palm, the inside of his wrist, trying to find what will bring him to that last step. What will make him unwind just enough to let go of his doubts and worries and--in a primal way of putting it--claim her as his. ]

I'm lucky... and I'm not letting you go.

[ If Alan knew what was going through Jesse's mind, he'd have his own contribution to make. Namely that the two of them try to make as much noise as they can, for at least a minute or two. But that's mostly the side of him that's still a little bit of a troublemaker talking.

But as fun as that might be, all Alan really wants is to have time with Jesse... time that's just them. And they're having that time and he doesn't want to waste it on something like that. ]

Not maybe, I know you are.

[ He sounds breathless as his arousal increases but somehow he has yet to drop over that edge. That is, until her fingers trail over him before coming back to his sides. She's leaning over him but their hips are still apart, and he feels the urge to rise up to meet her. Her lips against his neck draws out another moan and his head tips back a little further.

He already came close to reaching his climax once but it seems that with every touch, he gets even closer. The desire to just be one with her is too strong to ignore, so his hands slide around her, starting to pull her back in but not closing the space just yet.

I know we've come this close before. We've felt like this before, but this time... it's different. I don't want to forget it. Please don't let me forget it.

If the memory of this gets washed away by the waves, a part of Alan feels as though he'll know it. He'll know it happened and he'll miss it. Maybe part of him misses the other times they've done this, but there's something about this time that's different than the others.

He doesn't want to think about this as his reward for trying so hard, but maybe that's what it is, if he allows himself to be that sentimental. She guides his hands again over more sensitive areas before coming to a stop at her breasts. He's not sure how much longer he can keep from reaching the peak of his arousal, not that he's holding back for any reason.

With how close they are, she might be able to feel how fast his heart is beating as he takes another step towards his climax. Just the right touch in just the right way should send him into that next step. ]

You're not crazy, just crazy for choosing me, when you could have chosen anyone. [ He's breathing heavily from desire but he still manages to speak somehow. ]

Anyone who ever called you those things can.. can just leave. [ They don't matter. The only thing that matters in this moment is the two of them. ]

I'm never letting you go. Never. I'll fight the story, I'll fight the darkness, but I won't let you go.

[ And suddenly, just like that, he falls over the edge into the release from the building pressure into something that's no less wild and pulling at his senses. His hands curl tighter around her as he holds her even closer.

She's mine. I'm hers. That's all that matters. ]

I'll never let you go.

[ A fond smile replaces the smug satisfaction on her face. He knows, does he? She doesn't feel as beautiful or smart as he seems to believe she is. Just... a person who gets the job done. A job no one else will or can do, but, the job nonetheless. She won't argue with him. He's just as stubborn as her when he's convinced.

She does, however, watch him intently. Each reaction to each movement or kiss she gives him. He seems to enough the feel of her hands almost anywhere, and enjoy the kisses placed to his hand. Maybe even more than her hips grinding against his as she did just moments before. She'll need to remember that. ]

They can just leave, huh? [ A tone of teasing but flirting fills her voice as she kisses his wrist again. She can feel his heart race and it's only matched by her own. ] Good thing they left a long time ago.

[ A gasp comes from her ad he finally brings them together. Her head lowers as she moans quietly for him. With no hesitation her body moves with his, eyes raised to his face as they move. The words he says bring her to the edge, but she holds herself back, moving with him. Working to bring him to that place of ecstacy first.

Maybe it is a reward for making it as far as he has. For being able to return to her.

Jesse presses against him, rocking with him as his release finally happens. She smiles triumphantly, her own pleased sound leaving her as he slows. Her body trembles with her own built up pleasure. But, that idea of him taking control of the situation and playing with her as he sees fit is far too tempting.

She lowers her head before resting it against his forehead. Her breathing is heavy, eyes latching onto his the moment they open. That hunger for him is obvious in her gaze. Not just from her as Jesse, but that almost primal need to be brighter because of him. Louder. More than any other resonance or darkness in the area. ]

Alan... [ Her tones are almost similar to one's he hears in his mind when Polaris reaches out. ]

[ Even if she doesn't feel that way, that's how he sees her, and what he sees makes him believe it wholeheartedly. Well, what he believes in is her and her ability to make him feel... everything. Everything from happiness to contentment to believing that with her help, they'll figure this out. The story will end because they want it to end so badly. He can't see how it'll all end, but maybe she still can. Maybe believing in it enough, visualizing it enough... it'll make it real.

God, I want it to be real.

As for what he likes about her touches, the truth of it is, she could touch him anywhere, do anything to him, and he'd respond to it. Even her hips grinding against his stirred up something inside him, something he thought was long buried. Maybe the reaction wasn't so obvious in his face or in how his body reacted, but he felt it.

His heart is still racing even when that moment of release comes, and his breath comes out in fast gasps as all of his senses feel like they've been dialed up to fifteen. Adrenaline continues to drive him, as does the urge to just let go of everything, of all his inhibitions and just take her.

That hungry look in her eyes only adds to that longing to just give in and claim her. They're one anyway, and if she wanted to take him too, he'd let her. There's nothing he wouldn't let her do, and taking him as hers is just one of those things. He belongs to her already, so why not? ]

Jesse. [ They're so close already, but he leans in more and all but crashes his mouth onto hers in a deep, hungry kiss. After a second, he starts to trace alongside the outside of her mouth with his tongue. ]

[ The story has to end. AWEs can't go on forever. It's just finding out what the trick is to ending it. Each event is different. This one centers around Alan because of the nature of the Dark Place. The way the story flows because of Scratch. The back and forth between the two to come back into this reality and who will be the one in charge.

« I wish it was as simple as just beating Scratch like it is an Altered Item. »

Her eyes never leave his, intently watching all the little things of his reaction. Is he tired? Should they stop here? How hungry is he for her? Does he feel that same almost otherworldly but primal need? Maybe not to be brighter, but to be louder. If so, then, she wants him to do it. Bring her to that point she has brought him. Make her feel nothing else but him.

Her heart pounds in her ears. The name slips out and she feels everything in her curl and tighten. Alan could just say her name and she would come undone for him. Not that he has said it the "magic" way yet, but, he's so close.

Lips crash onto hers and she moans against his mouth. Hands curl in the sheets beside him, entirely melting into his arms. She still moves against him, trying to communicate asking for him to take her. Making sure she is his and no one else's. Her tongue meets his even as her usually controlled movements in everything become more emotional. All most erratic.

She loves him so much that is almost hurts. Not that being in love with him hurts. The idea of losing him like she's lost Dylan, her family, her friends from Ordinary. He's become so much apart of her world she can't imagine letting him go leave it.

Ever. ]

Edited 2024-02-19 02:53 (UTC)

[ Part of the issue is, Alan feels that if the story doesn't end, if he stays trapped in it forever, he won't get what he wants for himself, but then maybe he can steer it in such a way that no one else gets hurt by it, except for himself. Of course, that's dependent on him mastering what he needs to master in order to gain the upper hand, but maybe he can figure that out if he works at it long enough.

But then the other issue remains with Jesse, because he's certain she won't let him go in order to make that happen. She won't accept him being trapped by the story forever.

He frowns briefly and he shakes his head once, temporarily dismissing that idea to the back of his mind. It's something to think about, but not right now. Right now, he just wants to think about them. He just wants to feel them coming together. He wants to feel Jesse as she reacts to his touches and kisses.

He never wants to stop touching her, never wants to be apart from her unless their respective responsibilities demand it. Even then, it's not a permanent parting. Then he knows that he can't ever go for the idea in the back of his mind. He can't have it both ways, after all. No, the story has to end. He needs it to end.

Then it hits him: what she needs is something she can hold onto, if she can remember this after this moment, this loop ends. He needs to make her his. He needs to be made hers. He's done this before, so he's not whole and untouched, but he's never done this with her. Well, he might have once in the loops, but the memory of it is hard to grab onto.

To make her his, he has to remove that last barrier, and with that in mind, he takes that plunge, that step that goes beyond intimate touches and crosses into the kind of connection that should signify commitment: a lasting commitment and bond. At least, that's what Alan hopes for, for the two of them. ]

Edited 2024-02-20 03:52 (UTC)

[ If all of this really is because of him and the cycling of him in the Dark Place? Then, logistically, she can't leave him in the story. It will begin again with a new cast and the AWE will inflict itself on the town of Bright Falls. No matter what way she looks at it--herself or the Director--leaving Alan behind is simply the worst case scenario.

She doesn't notice how he shakes his head or the thoughts that make him go from one to another. All of her attention is focused on them and moving in a way that doesn't cause her head to pound when she moves. She still rests on top of him, moving to try and get his attentioned on what she wants. The little gasp and moans his kisses and hands bring from her can't communicate that.

Something seems to have communicated it to him though because he bridges that final step again. She gasps in surprise, but then melts against him. It signifies in her mind that he's taken control of the moment and she doesn't need to clasp onto it. She can just let go and ride the waves, letting him decide the pace and where they go. How they're positioned.

Jesse still moves with him even as she visibly let's that control go for him. Her head lowers to his shoulder. They've done it before. It feels like a different century and it wasn't the same as this. Still, they've been intimate before, and now it feels as if they're finally back together how they were. Not just as the Director and Writer. ]

[ Of course, Alan hasn't really fully thought it out, but an idea is lurking in the back of his mind. What if he can steer the story in a way that makes him the only character in the cast? Maybe it's a fool's hope, or no hope at all, but if the goal is making it so no one ever gets hurt by the Dark Presence again, that's how it would have to go. But how can he do that? Is it even possible?

Maybe that's just another loop or spiral or whatever the hell it is that he has to go through. Part of him recoils from the idea. He doesn't want to think about that right now. It makes his head hurt and it makes him feel unsettled. He just wants to have this time with Jesse in which both of them are content yet wanting more.

He has to push himself up a little to gain just a little bit of leverage so he can rub himself against her once more without pulling back completely. They already belong together, and they have done this before, although the memories are foggy for both of them. But doing this now, doing it again, is just further signalling how they belong together. How they belong to each other. And as far as Alan's concerned, it means nothing will get in between them again, at least not permanently.

His hips rock again, thrusting a little bit against hers, and his hands curl around her to further stabilize him as he moves. ]

[ Jesse would argue that there's no point in trying to change the "cast." The roles are set, the players on the board. The best thing to do is find out how to utilize everyone to their fullest potential and swing the story in their favor. But, Alan is just as stubborn as she is in different ways. He has to come to the realization and acceptance on his own terms. All they can really do is point him in the direction and hope he follows it.

This all feels like something that has been long overdue. A homecoming. Something cheesey like the soldier at war finally home, or a pair that could never be together despite everything they tried. It's a sentimental thought that crosses her mind, but ultimately the reason why she moves with how he directs them and positions how he wants. All she cares about is him and being with him. The primal sense to make herself louder definitely roars in the back of her mind, but it only adds to the selfish desire already present.

A content sigh leaves her as he positions himself, only to be followed by a moan as he rocks up into her. Jesse adjusts slightly, hoping to bring them more into contact. Then, she tries to keep pace with him. Hot open mouth kisses are placed down his neck, shoulder, hands curling again into the sheets beneath him. At some point she simply lays against him and her hands curl around his body in return.

She begins to say his name over and over, as if each time it's supposed to mean a different word in how she feels. They're probably not needed as he can most certainly garner what emotions she feels by her reactions. They shift a certain way and her back arcs to press herself into him as it all releases at once. She gasps and moans for him, head lowering again to his neck as she pants. Everything about her senses is filled with him, and some part of her mind hopes he once again found his point of no return. It doesn't matter to her that he's had more turns than her. He's been the one stuck in a nightmare for thirteen years.

Eventually her breathing evens and she slumps against him. A shaking hand rests on his chest as she simply lays there. Her head pounds in a good way, but there is definitely no chance in her being able to sit up straight now. The fact should bother her more, but, he could simply roll them over and continue if wanted. She wouldn't mind.

Jesse closes her eyes and presses her forehead to the side of his neck. ]

[ Alan is stubborn, and whether or not he'll admit it, sometimes he can argue. Some might say he likes to argue, but he wouldn't. He argues when he has a point to make, that's all. But lately, he's just too tired to really argue. The energy spent on arguing could be used for other things, anyway.

Other things like reconnecting with Jesse and picking up where they've left off. And they've left off a lot. It really does feel like something long overdue, and if it's cheesy, well- Alan's written and said some cheesy things before. He might not call himself a soldier, but he's definitely been in a fight... a long one. A war is more fitting, probably. Maybe one day the war will be over and they won't have to worry about anything getting in between them again.

She's bringing him to that point of no return again with every kiss and touch, and as she begins to repeat his name, he feels himself coming closer to that edge, to that drop into an abyss of pleasure, of ecstasy. Finally, he gets there, and he feels a swell of that pleasure followed by release, and when she slumps against him, he feels himself go slack as well, just lying on the bed but not letting go of her either. Has she reached her own climax? Her own drop off that hypothetical cliff? If she hasn't, he wants to bring her there too, because she deserves to feel good just as much as he does.

For right now, though, just lying still and touching her is more than enough. ]

[ A shaky exhale leaves her as he relaxes as well. Her body quakes, mind unable to really process anything but Alan Wake in that moment. She has definitely tipped over the metaphoric cliff, now just laying with him in the waters of ecstacy. A content and happy moan leaves her as her head tilts to press a kiss to his neck.

Jesse closes her eyes and lays her head against his neck. She doesn't move to pull them apart just yet. It would be too fast and they've spent too much time apart. Time where they couldn't be together, or time where they didn't realize they were together. Now is just the time to be together as them. The amplifiers of their certain abilities touched by other worldly forces.

She hasn't realized how bright the room is now. Only that it's more comfortable than anywhere else she's been in a long, long time.

It feels like she should say something. What can she even begin to say? The hand raises from his chest and moves to his hair. Fingers slide down his longer hair, moving it from his face and just trying to touch him in some manner. ]

I missed you. Alan Wake. [ « Not the writer who is famous and missing. Him being who he is underneath all those expectations. Just, Alan Wake. » ] This. And you...

[ He just wants nothing more than to relax with her like this. Of course, he likes it when they touch each other and feel each other and love each other, but he also just likes lying with her and holding her. Maybe it's because there's a part of him that's just tired of constantly going and wants a moment to rest alongside someone else, or maybe it's because he's missed Jesse so much that he's content to be with her in any way at all.

When she lays her head against his neck, he places his hand against her hair and lightly twines his fingers through it. Touching her calms him and puts him at ease, and it reassures him to know that she's there with him and at least for now, they're together. He hasn't fully realized how bright the room is now, but it's making him feel... Stronger? More awake? He's not even really sure what he's feeling.

When she moves her hand from his chest to his hair, he lets out an audible sigh of contentment and ease. ]

I always miss you. [ He knows he can say that with certainty because it's fact. ] Even if the story tries to keep me from remembering it, I... I always feel like there's something missing. Someone missing. [ I'm not whole without her. ]

I- [ His gaze lowers as emotion pulls at him, not wanting to let him resist its force. ] I wish we could stay together like this. Always.

[ And maybe one day they will, and it's that "one day" that Alan's trying to hold onto. ]

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oceanview || ❝ i must guide my love through the night. ❞

OCEANVIEW II

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