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synthneon2023-11-01 01:57 am
outlierdirector) wrote in synthneon2023-11-01 01:57 am
oceanview || ❝ i must guide my love through the night. ❞
I cannot feel her by my side
Even in this placе inside my mind
no subject
The things that used to pull him back up don't work anymore, or at least, not as well. Jesse's touch could pull him back. Her calling to him could pull him up. But when the waves are crashing on the shore of his mind, the water soaking him and chilling his skin, he can't hear. Can't feel. Can't see. I'm drowning. I'm lost.
Home is an illusion. Their reality is an illusion too. What's real anymore? Is Parliament Tower looming over the darkened city real? Parliament Tower... why do I know that name? Alan's memories wash in and out with the tide; sometimes he remembers things from their reality, from home, and sometimes he doesn't.
Who is the woman with the red hair and green eyes that catch the light and flash brightly? I know her. She's important. Jesse Faden. You- you can't take her from me. The Dark Presence has taken so much, and Alan is terrified to even think about what will be left when it's done. If it's ever done. Maybe it won't stop until it's taken everything from him and he's no longer the man called Alan Wake.
The sheer horror of that is enough to jolt him, and when he does, he's greeted not by more horror, but the gentle feel of Jesse taking hold of his hand and sliding her fingers in between his. His shoulders drop as the built up tension fades, and his own fingers curl against hers.
Whether it's a return or a reunion, Alan knows one thing, and that's something the dark waves can't tear away from him. He's safe with Jesse. It might be only a feeling in his head, but he feels sheltered when he's with her. Secure. No one can break in and steal him away when she's here, at least not for good. His mind might wander, and he might sink, but he comes back. He returns because she calls him back.
His fingers curl further into her hand and he presses his forehead against hers a little more. It's not enough to be uncomfortable, and it's not going to knock either of them over, but he needs to feel. He doesn't want to lose this either. These feelings. Jesse. She's a part of his life now, even if that life isn't very much of one, not anymore. He wants to wake up next to her every morning and see her there every day. He wants to be there when she comes home at night.
But what good is dreaming when he's still trapped? Still, if all he can do is dream, then he wants to dream about that life with Jesse, even if it never becomes more than a dream.
He sees her pull the manuscript page closer, almost protectively. If she wants to keep it, it's probably safer with her anyway. She might lose it when- if the loop resets, but he has just as much chance of losing it in the Dark Place as she does of losing it to the loops. One of them might as well have it, anyway.
The clouds in his eyes seem to clear, and Jesse's small press pushing their foreheads together further grounds him. ]
Hi, Jesse. [ He manages to smile at her; it's small, and it doesn't quite negate the still scared look in his eyes, but it softens his haunted expression just a little. ] And... thank you.
[ For not giving up on him. For not letting him give up. For coming to find him. The list of things he wants to thank her for is quite long and would take more time than both of them have. ]
no subject
Polaris shifts.
« Okay. If you think it'll help. Do what you think you need to. We need him here if we're going to stop the Dark Presence this time... and I need him here. Even if he doesn't know it. »
She can feel the gentle vibrations in the palm of her hand. Polaris attempts to resonate with that spark inside the Writer. The one that marks him as the Champion of Light to fight the Herald of Darkness. Jesse may not know all the terms, and the terms may be an abstract concept to Polaris, but the resonance knows what makes her powerful. Stronger. Brighter. Deafening. It's a gentle vibration. Nothing that would cause harm or hurt. Just a nudge.
That's something Alan should be used to.
Her smile is small, but eyes sparkle. It's that fond smile she only lets him see. Her way of telling him that she's happy he's there. That she loves him despite whatever his mind may throw at him. ]
Anytime. [ She means it wholeheartedly and entirely. Whenever he needs to be pulled from the waves? She'll be there in someway or shape to do so. ] Can I keep it? Or... or do you need it back to do whatever is you need to do?
[ « If he needs it to help him remember it? That's fine. I've seen it and knows it exists. That's more than enough for me. »
She never forgets what it's like to be close to him, but, it's always different than she remembers. Almost like she can't hold onto the exact emotions and feelings. How intense it feels, how that gravitational pull seems to just ignite. Is it just because of whatever is in him that Polaris reacts to? Is it more? She's still not sure, but whatever the reason, her gaze drops down to his lips for the briefest of moments. She knows they've been close--intimate.
« I want it back. »
Jesse moves the fraction it's needed to ghost her lips across his. A faint touch, enough so he can pull away if it's too much or too soon. He may not remember what they've done together by design. There's really only one way to find out.
Even as she can faintly hear the footsteps beyond the office doors. ]
no subject
This time, things are a little different. Alan's with her, but his mind slips away so much easier now. So much faster than before. Maybe he's not truly with her, like he has one foot out the metaphorical door. Not because he's leaving her or doesn't want to be with her. He wants that more than anything. But the hold that the Dark Place has on him is stronger now. It's pulling at him almost constantly. At least, that's how it feels to him.
His eyes shift immediately to lock on hers as soon as he feels that familiar resonance. That vibration that's unique to Polaris. To Jesse. Alan would know it anywhere. The spark is still inside Alan, but it's muted. Quieter. He can still use light to his advantage, but it's different now. He feels Polaris's resonance and leans into it, but it feels as though something is missing. Maybe it feels different to Polaris and Jesse, but it just feels strange to Alan. Dulled. But perhaps his senses aren't as sharp as they should be. It's hard to hear, feel, and think when dark waves are threatening to pull you under.
She can most likely feel the way he startles when her lips brush against his. It's not the same reaction as before; he's not jumping out of his skin. His heart rate isn't accelerating like a panicked rabbit's. It's not even that he didn't expect it. It's what we had before. I want it back. He unwittingly echoes Jesse's own thoughts, and to him, the thought he's just had is confirmation enough.
He returns the gesture, brushing his lips against hers in return, and after a second's pause, presses them against hers more fully. It's not quite a full kiss, but it's close. As for the footsteps beyond the doors, Alan chooses to ignore them in favor of this moment. ]
no subject
[ The gentle expression remains on her face, but the undertones of fondness change into something else. In a word? Scared. In a word she'd share with everyone else, even to Alan? Worried.
Jesse's attention moves from Polaris back to him as he leans forward into the motion. It doesn't bother her. She expects it, because he always is drawn to Polaris. Just as Polaris is drawn to whatever is--should be--inside him. That spark of Light that makes everything brighter and louder.
« No. No. Something is wrong. I know it. What's wrong? Should you be here more? Am I moving too fast? Should I be more like the Director... or me? Did--did something happen? He said it had been a long time... »
She nearly pulls away the moment she brushes the kiss to his lips, but doesn't at the last moment. He kisses her--just not fully. She returns the gesture, intending to give a full kiss. The movement is slow so he can ease into it. She wants what they had. But, more importantly, she wants him with her.
And, like a scene from a cliche movie, the door opens.
Jesse let's out a small disappointed sigh before turning her head to the door. She stays close so Alan can lean against her. Green eyes land on the Ranger Captain, halfway through the door, looking at the both of them... and seemingly unphased by the scene at all. ]
Control Points are set up like you asked, Faden. Just needs your finishing touch. [ Steve pauses and looks at Alan with a smirk. ] Hey, Wake. Ready to see the boss in action?
Steve... [ Jesse knows her voice should be louder, driven by authority. She's the Director. Instead she just sounds... tired. Worried. Maybe even defensive and protective. ] I'm not sure...
He'll be fine. I'll even take responsibility and watch over him while you do your thing. People might feel better if a ranger is looking over a parautalitarian.
[ Jesse glances down and swallows. Then, she looks back up at Alan with a small frown. ] Would you rather stay here in the office with the lights or come with me?
no subject
Alan feels something inside him begin to shake and quiver as a realization occurs to him: a possible reason why he can't feel the resonance from Polaris like he has before. The connection he has with Polaris isn't like the one Jesse has. He wouldn't dare presume as much. But not being able to feel her when she reaches out feels as though he's losing access to something bright and warm and comforting. And when very little, if anything at all, in the Dark Place is comforting, that loss is monumental.
Not devastating like the severing of the bond between Jesse and Polaris, but it's bad enough in Alan's mind.
They share a brief kiss, and then the footsteps get closer, followed by the opening of the door. Steve enters, and Alan looks up to see him walking in. He's another friendly face, although Alan isn't sure if he can assign the word "friend" to him, when they barely know each other. But Steve has always been kind to him, in a friendly joking kind of way; there's a normality to that that Alan appreciates, and so he does consider him a friend, at least privately.
Control points. It's another term that Alan isn't sure he knows, but a thought rises up in his mind from out of nowhere. Well, not a thought, but an image: Jesse on the ground, hands on the floor. Doing something. Channeling something. Energy? Resonance? He doesn't know if the two are connected. They might be, but he just doesn't have enough information yet.
Steve addresses him and he pulls himself out of his thoughts again. ] Yeah. Ready as I'll ever be, I guess.
[ He quiets again as Steve and Jesse briefly debate having him join them. He understands why Jesse would hesitate, but Steve's response surprises him. He didn't expect the ranger to take responsibility for watching him. He figured if anything, he'd get put right back in the cell next to the two cult leaders while the FBC did their work.
His gaze shifts back to Jesse as she poses a question to him now: would he rather stay here, or go with her? The answer is clear and he gives it almost immediately. It might be light in this room, but he doesn't want to be left alone. ] I want to go with you. If that's okay.
no subject
Maybe the reason is beyond the understanding of humans.
Regardless, Polaris will find a way to reach the Torchbearer. Maybe what their next step does will help.
Jesse glances between the two men as they share a brief exchange. Steve has always been kind to Alan, but, even Jesse can tell Steve must know more than he let's on. He hasn't batted an eye at how their hands are interlocked, how close they are. He didn't even question or ask when Jesse demanded they meet with the rest of the field agents.
« Does he remember the loops too? Did you tell him something? It's not like he's a parautalitarian. How would he be able to remember? »
She blinks at his answer. Anyone else might say she hardly had a reaction, but a slight surprise is in those green eyes. It's clear she's worried--afraid she has made an error in how she's approached it. Scared she isn't helping him, or even worse, can't help him anymore.
Jesse gently brushes her lips against the cheek not covered in mud, dirt, blood. She squeezes his hand. ]
Thank you. [ Even if she hoped their reunion would be closer to how their relationship started... he wrote it back in. Made it real. ] Make sure you stick close to Steve. Just in case.
[ Jesse folds the manuscript page into the pocket of her tactical vest and stands up. Her hand slowly slips from his before moving to the door. Steve opens it all the way and steps aside. Jesse leaves the room, but, Polaris shimmers as if to indicate the way she's gone. The Ranger Captain motions with his head for the Writer to stand and then walk beside him. ]
You walk next to me, don't move out to touch anyone if you can avoid it. Part of the paranoia comes from the fact they've got no idea what you can do but alter reality. [ Steve closes the door behind them and begins escorting Alan back to the front entrance. ] Give them a reason to show you're on our side and they'll be more willing to have you walk around. The Director's word isn't enough after what happened with the previous one. Trench burnt more bridges at the end of the day.
[ Steve holds his hand up to the other agents in the room when they finally arrive. Estevez eyes the pair, especially Alan, but turns her attention to the Director. She stands in the middle of a taped dashed circle surrounded by small array dishes. A field agents nods and motions for Jesse to begin.
She kneels down to the center and closes her eyes.
Steve leans to Alan and lowers his voice. ]
We use Control Points to center everything back at HQ. The Director has to remove any other interference for... classified things to center parts of HQ. We're hoping if Faden can cleanse this area that it'll give us a foothold here. Somewhere your spooky Shadow doesn't control.
[ Estevez looks over her shoulder at the two. ] Does Mr. Wake even have the clearance for this?
Eh, protocols are out the window right now, Estevez. Besides. Faden is what we would call unconventional. An outlier. Best hope for the Buearu so far. [ Steve smirks. ] And, need I remind you, Wake was involved in the AWE of '10. If anyone knows how to fight the Shadow? It'll be him. Better to use him as an asset rather than bait. Don't you think?
Do all rangers have such a smug way of operations?
Only the best ones, Estevez. [ Steve gives a wide grin and the woman rolls her eyes. He looks back at Alan and nods down to Jesse. ] I'm pretty sure you know about the resonance by now, Wake. That's what she's going to use.
no subject
It seems that this part doesn't concern Alan very much, other than being an observer. Knowing Jesse, she's got this under control. He's no use here, not really. But he couldn't stand staying behind alone in that room.
He nods along with Steve's instructions, already resolved to follow them to the letter. He knows he's not welcome here, if the looks Estevez and the other agents are giving him. The last thing he needs to do is cause a scene. ]
I'll stay close. I don't want to cause trouble. [ I've caused enough already as it is. Any one of these agents looks like they'd throw me into a cell and lose the key as soon as they could.
Maybe it's Alan's own paranoia talking, but he can't help but feel a little nervous about standing here with X amount of rangers standing around. He glances sidelong at Steve, and around at the other rangers, hoping their eyes are on Jesse and her work, not on him. He tries to be discreet about pinching his wrist to try and ground himself. Hopefully no one here is jumpy or trigger happy. ]
I see. I think. [ Steve's explanation makes sense to an extent. ] It's like balancing it. Removing the negative energy and making it more balanced. [ That theory is probably way off. This isn't anything close to being Alan's area of expertise. He probably doesn't even have the right to speculate.
He glances at Estevez when she questions his being there. It's fair to ask, as he's not an agent. He's just a writer. A civilian. But Steve mentions Jesse being unconventional, and refers to Alan's involvement back in 2010. Whatever the case, Estevez seems to stand down, if a bit reluctantly.
Steve offers another explanation, this time about how Jesse's going to use the resonance to get the job done. Alan nods in understanding, and just stands by next to the other man, waiting to see how this all plays out. ]
When a Control Point is cleansed, does it stay that way, or does it have to be done again? [ Alan's question earns him a look from Estevez, almost implying that maybe he should shut up and not ask questions about classified things, but it's too late. His question is already out there. ]
no subject
More importantly what Jesse is putting on the line.
A moment passes before Steve begins to answer the question Alan has. His jaw sets, expression turns grim. Giving him a non-classified version wouldn't be difficult to say. It's the events themselves that are hard to say. Alan knows about Polaris. It's kind of hard not to when the Director literally radiates the energy. How much the Writer knows about the Hiss...
Steve glances at Estevez who tilts her head. She doesn't know all the details. They were cut off from the Oldest House. ]
It can be taken over by another energy. Any entity with a resonance. [ The Ranger Captain squares his shoulders as that old military training comes back. Estevez's eyes widen slightly. ] We survived because Faden took the control points back one by one, reclaiming HQ. Her and Polaris.
[ Steve glances down. ] We lost a good amount of people. Not just rangers. We're prepared not to come back from AWEs. There were office workers, scientists, security officers. People who had no idea what the hell was going on. Every single member of Trench's management team. Trench, the previous Director. They all fell to that resonance that took over the House by taking its control points. [ A long exhale comes from him. ] I watched men and women I knew, worked with, went to parties will all turn to it. We barricaded ourselves in. Back up eventually showed up with Head of Security... then, Faden showed up. She already knew the Head of Security. She offered to go in as the fire power we needed to fight the bastards. She and her resonance cleared it out.
[ The Ranger Captain clears his throat and looks back at Alan. He gives a trademark grin that doesn't reach his eyes. He can still remember seeing the new Director timidly walk into the Atlas Chamber and seemingly not want the gun in her hand. She's come a long way. ] Meaning that if Faden has her mind set on something? Nothing is going to change it. You haven't really seen her in action yet, Wake. You'll see what I mean.
[ Jesse lowers her head closer to the floor as their conversation continues on. It sounds like muted words to her as her attention is focused elsewhere. Her jaw sets to the side as her hair begins to sway from the rising energy from her hands. The lights in the Sheriff Station begin to flicker--not on and off, but brighter and then back to normal.
« This is harder than I thought. Why? Even the worst parts of the Oldest House weren't this difficult. It's like it's fighting us. I don't get it. There shouldn't be anything in the way. No Hiss, no other resonances... »
Except there is.
She sees a blanket of Darkness in her mind. It flashes in gray, black, white outlines. She feels a feeling of dread pass through her then and her hands begin to shake. Jesse then touches her head to the floor as the amount of energy she's outputting increases. Enough that it makes both Estevez and Steve turn their attention to her.
Small pieces of furniture begin to lift off the ground around the control point.
A familiar face comes to her mind's eye. A face she loves, but twisted and grinning. Feral. It's not his face at all when someone really looks at it. It's hungry, and angry, and wants that one thing that will make it free.
« SHIT! Shit. Shit. It can be in the whole town! It's not just the lake. It's not just the story. It's claimed all of this. That's why things keep happening. Why artists keep being drawn here. Shit. Shit. Shit. This is not good! We have to--because then we don't control anything in this town. We need somewhere that we can hold. Come on, come on..
Now! »
A small burst of energy can be felt throughout the room. A shimmer can be seen by those who are sensitive to it. Polaris pulses brightly in the room. The devices some agents are wearing seem to come to life and hum. They look down at them and Estevez unfolds her arms and looks around. ]
Director Faden...?
Where's the other point you set up? [ Jesse doesn't move, doesn't look up from the floor. ] Where did you set it up?!
In the parking lot--
[ Steve grabs a hold of Alan and shoves him against the wall at the last second. It's a blur of energy, but suddenly Jesse is at the back door that leads to the outside. She shoves her whole shoulder into it, causing the safety lock to break. In another blur she's out of sight and into the sunset lit outdoors. ]
Faden?!
no subject
What the FBC does is not something to be taken lightly. The stakes are high. About as high as the ones Alan himself is facing, if not higher. Although it could be said that if the Dark Presence escapes, the whole world is potentially in danger. So perhaps from that standpoint, Alan's goals aren't too terribly different from the main goals of the FBC. Maybe. But as Alan listens, a wild thought enters his mind. Could I join the FBC if I ever get out? I could help them fight, if they'd have me. It's a long shot at best, but- ]
Any entity with a resonance. So... [ Alan glances at Estevez and the other rangers waiting nearby. ] The Dark Presence. [ There's probably other entities but that's the one that Alan knows best. "Knows", since there's really no knowing it. A shudder creeps up his spine as he thinks about the terror the Dark Presence could unleash.
Alan's expression turns serious and almost as grim as Steve's as the ranger goes on to talk about the damage done to the headquarters of the FBC. The picture he paints isn't a pretty one. But what Alan takes from the explanation is that Jesse turned up and gave them a fighting chance when they had no chance at all before.
Jesse moves into position, getting ready to do whatever she has to do to cleanse the Control Point. Alan waits, holding his breath. It sinks in as he watches that Jesse really is powerful; more powerful than even he suspected. When the lights begin to flicker, Alan startles. But they don't flicker and turn off; instead, they seem to grow brighter. It's Polaris. It's both of them.
But then everything seems to happen so fast that Alan's head starts to spin. With how closely he's watching Jesse, he notices when her posture seems to change. Something's happening. Furniture is rising into the air and floating. A burst of energy rocks the room. A small but powerful shockwave. There's a shimmer in the air that seizes Alan's attention immediately.
Jesse and Estevez have a brief exchange, and to Alan's ears, Jesse sounds stressed. Tense. Worked up. What happened? What did she see?
Before he can do anything else, he feels Steve grab him and shove him against the wall just as Jesse seems to speed from the room to the back door and outside. ]
... What the hell?
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[ Steve let's Alan go as his eyes are locked onto where the Director was. He always forgets how fast she can move until he sees her in action. Even then, this was unusual. Maybe not panicked, but, stressed. Worried. He's never seen Jesse lose control, and doubts he will now, but he has to wonder what just happened.
Estevez orders the agents there to start fortifying what they can. Make sure the power is secure. Light for the cellblock, because the leaders of the Cult don't need to die. The agents finish suiting up their odd square devices. Steve takes a look around before he motions for Alan to follow him. He pulls his pistol--just in case.
Jesse has already situated herself down on the other control point. This time her shoes are kicked to the side and her gloves on top of them. Bare feet and hands are on the asphalt as her head is bowed. Her hair is still pulled back in a braid that ends in a ponytail, but it's tumbled over to help obscure her face.
« It's here. It's EVERYWHERE here. Was it always like this? Did the story make it this way? Or did the story grip everything because it's so deep? It's had years to settle into this area. Not just the years since Alan disappeared. Older than that... come on, come on. One last push. Then, all we can do is wait. Come ON! »
Another shockwave hits as Steve steps into the asphalt. He only lowers the gun once he sees Jesse is still hunched in the circle, hands and feet bare. Her head is still touching the ground and she seems fine. Except the keen observer will realize how she is panting and her while body is shaking.
« There that's all we can do for now-- »
Her eyes widen slightly as she feels something come through the Hotline. It's powerful, malevolent. Evil. It's not a message to her. It's an echo baked into the ground of Bright Falls itself. One that is unearthed not by her, but by the two combatants being present again.
『 I am much older than you. Older than your first work of art. I will find a new face to wear. Someone else to dream me free. 』
Jesse feels her legs give out from under her and slips down to her side. Her breath is labored. It's taken more out of her than she thought. The Echo fades and she slumps slightly. ]
no subject
It's not inserting himself where he doesn't belong, not really, even if agents like Estevez might see it that way. Darkness has a way of being drawn to him even when he doesn't ask for it. No, Alan remains convinced that he needs to be here.
He still won't make a scene or do anything that would get him removed from events here and put back in the cell, but- he moves instantly when he sees Jesse's legs give out. He can't move as quickly as she can nor as abruptly, but he's off and moving before he's even fully aware of it. He drops to his knees next to her, not actually sure what he intends to do, but he wasn't about to just stand around and watch.
Hopefully moving like this doesn't alert the agents. Hopefully he doesn't wind up with a bullet in his back. ]
...Jesse? [ His voice sounds quiet. Hushed. He moves to place a hand against her shoulder but hesitates at the last second. ] Are- are you all right?
[ What the hell happened? What the hell was that?
Alan can't know without asking Jesse, but her reactions look strangely familiar. He could just be grasping at straws, but he's worn a similar look on his face that Jesse seems to be wearing now. It could be coincidence. It could even be nothing. But he believes in coincidences even less than he believes in luck.
What did she see? ]
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Her gaze focuses and she tilts her head. Green eyes latch onto his gray ones. Hers aren't haunted or hazed, but have a look of knowing.
« This is what he's been fighting for thirteen years. This... this entity. I KNOW Scratch. What he's capable of. This? This isn't just that. It really is what the Hiss merged with in Hartman. The Darkness. If Hartman had been HERE with the Hiss corruption... »
Jesse pushes herself to sit up on her knees. Her arms feel like jelly and she's shaking all over. It reminds her of bringing him to the Motel. How much energy she used, and how it left her body feeling. No wonder the darkness drained her in the Oldest House.
« You're right. It's old, and powerful, but not unbeatable. We beat Hartman. Alan stopped it thirteen years ago. »
She finally looks back to him. A shaking hand raises and rests against his thigh. It takes too much to raise it further. The blood doesn't bother her. Not after what she saw. How does she put it? ]
That's what it wants--you. Isn't it? [ Her voice is low enough for only him to hear. ] That's what happened thirteen years ago. It tried to use you to come into our reality here. Through the lake, through this town, through a story.
[ Jesse does her best to turn to face him. She can't get very far despite her best efforts at the moment.
« It can't have him. We will make sure of it. Won't we? »
Polaris shimmers in agreement. ]
You trapped yourself in the Dark Place to stop it. [ Her tone doesn't suggest that she learned this, but she's putting the pieces of an delicate and complicated puzzle together. Not just the puzzle of the Dark Presence, but of Alan Wake. ] Not just to save Alice.
[ Polaris gives a nudge and Jesse follows through without hesitation. She takes his hands and places them on the asphalt that the control point is marked out on.
Polaris' resonance hums. Not violently, not subtly. Loudly. Her resonance in the very ground of this place ant not the Dark Presence. As long as they can hold this point? It can be a safe heaven. They just need to keep the lights on. That was Jesse's plan all along. It was just harder to fight for it than she expected.
« It drained everything in me. This isn't good. We need to be here for the night. Just in case. Maybe it won't be here, but in case it is, we have to be ready. I need to recoop and fast. »
Now she hopes that feeling Polaris in the very ground helps more than holding her hand did. ]
Alan. Are you able to fight tonight? I need to know. Not just for your safety, but my people here. [ Her green eyes remain latched onto his gray ones, never letting go of his gaze. ] We can talk about everything else in the morning. But, right now, I need to know if you're here with me.
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But being present is a lot easier said than done, and Alan finds he has to fight off his own fears and worries to manage it. Luckily, when Jesse moves, he finds himself moving automatically too. He lifts his arms and places them firmly but not uncomfortably on her, one on her shoulder and the other at her waist to try and support her. The last thing he wants is for her to collapse from exhaustion.
His gray eyes meet hers and stay there, searching her eyes, her face, but just seeing that look of knowing in them. She knows. She must have seen him. Whatever she did, the Dark Presence didn't like it. It must be angry now. It's always angry.
She then makes those statements about what he did to stop the Dark Place. It wasn't only about saving Alice, even though that was the main point of it all. When did he realize just how dangerous the Dark Presence was? He doesn't know, but he knows that it can't get out. Not ever.
He nods slowly. ] It can't escape. It wants to, but it just can't. It'll- No one will be safe. But it's smart; it looks for loopholes. Exceptions. Anything that it can use to make its escape, it will. [ It'll even use me. Again. Again and again until it gets what it wants. That's the real reason why Alan still feels he's better off being in a cell. But then again, cell bars won't hold the Dark Presence in.
Nowhere is safe, but- He registers Jesse taking his hands and moving them until they're resting on top of the marked up asphalt. This time, the reaction is immediate. Alan's head snaps up and his eyes widen. Polaris's resonance is loud, humming, vibrating. He can feel it. This could be the key, if only we can secure it. Hold onto it. Jesse did this. How much did it take out of her? I'm... I'm worried.
That worry reflects in his gray eyes as his gaze lowers again and his eyes meet hers. But she's speaking to him again, asking if he can fight. He knows he's needed. He can't go to pieces, not now. There's only one answer he can give, and worry turns to a look that's apprehensive but no less resolved and determined. ]
I can fight. I will fight. I- [ His fingers curl against the marked asphalt, feeling the resonance flowing through him. ] I'm with you. [ Finally. ]
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« How many other people place themselves in other dimensions to save the person they love? Alan's an asshole. But, he still loves and cares about people. Not many others would do what he's done. Less are even willing to believe. »
Jesse nods to his description. ] I know what it's like--keeping something at bay that can't enter our dimension. Not if we want to lose it all. No matter the cost.
[ « Darling. Dylan. So many people in the Bureau. The Hiss took it all to get in. What is the Dark Presence going to do to get in? What is it going to take? It's already tried to take Alan... more than once. Well. It can't have him I won't let it. »
『 So, Director Faden, here's my last lesson: you can't save everyone. 』
Jesse looks down and glares. Hard. Marshall may have been right, but she will not budge on this. She won't let it have Alan. Not only because he's too powerful of a parautalitarian. Because he's hers.
Even if she can't say it or if it's ultimately a lie because of his marriage to Alice Wake. It feels true. That's enough for her right now--to get then out of this AWE.
Jesse's hands over his curl around into something of a deadlock. Her forehead is pressing against his. A hard expression is on her face, jaw to the side. Her eyes lock back to his as she searches into his.
« Is he REALLY here with me? Will he wash out as soon as I turn my back? I NEED to know. I can't ask my people to trust him if there's the smallest chance he is going to leave me. »
Her eyebrows knit together as she feels the water gather back in her eyes. Yes, she's scared. Not of the idea that the Dark Presence is going to come. Not even of the fact it will be a hard battle and it will take a lot from her. It's a fear of losing him. She finally found him in this loop...
Her voice wavers despite the authority she is trying to project. Small, scared. Only loud enough for him to hear. He'll know that tone. ]
... Alan, are you awake? [ She presses her forehead further against his ash her hands begin to shake on top of his. ] Please, I need to know. I need you to. Right now. Wake. Up.
[ How many times has she said this? ]
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He would be the first to disagree with Jesse, as he's convinced now more than ever that he's as far from heroic as it's possible to be. But if he can do his part to keep the Dark Presence out of their reality, then maybe... maybe he can begin to think of himself as something other than an asshole.
It doesn't reassure him that Jesse knows what it's like, to be locked in a fight with something that can't... should not escape. Well, it does and it doesn't. He doesn't want her to face the Dark Presence. He didn't want her to, but it happened anyway. I can't let the Dark Presence get close to her. Not again. I won't let her be taken by it. I don't care what I have to do. It can't get to her. Or Steve. Or even Estevez, and I don't think she cares that much about me. Why should she, anyway? But I won't let it touch Jesse.
None of these people here deserve to know what horrors the Dark Presence is capable of. Oh, Steve's explanation told Alan that they know what lies out there in the dark and the shadows. They know there are menacing, evil entities that exist. But he thinks they don't have the whole picture; they don't know everything about the real horror. And they shouldn't ever have to find out. They shouldn't have to be forced into the kind of hell that the Dark Presence can create.
He doesn't say anything until Jesse's hands curl over his, her grip like a vise as though she doesn't intend to let go until she's gotten whatever it she wants to say across to him. His eyes are locked on hers too, waiting, watching, wondering what's on her mind. There are times when he can read her, read the way she moves, and guess what she's thinking, but this is not one of those times.
Hungry, monstrous things out there plotting to stop me. To devour me. Become me. No, they can't. Not this time. Not when she's counting on me. Can she count on me? Can I count on myself?
Jesse's tone brings him back to the present. He wasn't drifting, although it might have looked that way. He was processing. Thinking. Trying to decide if he could do this. If he could keep it together just long enough to help Jesse and her people in this fight.
Yes. Yes, I can do this. This one thing. I'll do it. I'll- I'll wake up. I wake up when I'm fighting. It's strange. Maybe backwards. You'd think I would shut down. But I won't. I can't.
Jesse's forehead presses against his, and he straightens up. Squares his shoulders as if bracing himself for a fight. "Alan, are you awake?" ]
I'm awake. I'm here. [ There's no hesitation in his voice because there can't be. It's as it's always been when danger is looming. Something stirs inside Alan, something he can't name or quantify.
When I'm fighting for my life, I find myself slipping into a state of intense concentration that makes the beam of my flashlight seem more powerful and focused.
He said those words once, or wrote them down once. Exactly when, he doesn't remember. He just knows that he did. And they apply to this situation now more than ever. Concentration. Focus. Awareness of what's at stake. These are things he can't afford to forget. ]
I'm awake. Jesse, I'm awake.
[ Just how many times has she had to wake me up? ]
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And, it's not as if he's above hurting others. He hurt her. He made a way for agency, then when the Dark Presence found the weakness in it, he took it away without asking. He did it to protect her, but took the choice away from her. She was angry at him, hurt, but never hated him. Jesse understood that he was trying to help her.
Losing control is just one of her buttons.
Still, he apologized for it. Promised to make it right--and he did. He's made that way again for them to be reality. Now it's up to her to make sure it does happen.
« I'd almost call it poetic--if he was a poet. Someone to make the way, and then someone to pave it. What a pair we make. It almost sounds cliche, and he'd probably laugh and think it's a little lame. Or, maybe not. He's the one who says "peachy" now. »
Her green eyes stay intently focused on his. She can't read minds--only throw things with hers. Recieve messages. Which means she has to take everything he says as not only truth but on trust. That's always been her weakness.
Trusting people.
Believing what they say is really what they mean.
Alan tests the ever living hell out of her boundaries of trust. Around, and around, again, and again. He asks her without saying a word to trust him even if he can't trust himself. Even if it makes her skin prick as that paranoia and mistrust instinctively fight back against the notion of trusting him. The craziest thing about it?
She does.
And now he's asking her again without asking.
Telling her that she should believe him.
How can she do anything else when he kept his promise?
Jesse feels the emotions caught in her throat. She presses against his forehead again, as if asking her question once more. Maybe she's afraid he'll slip away from her at the last minute--once she turns away. Maybe it's a fear that he'll look at her again and have no idea who she is other than the Director of the agency he used in his story.
Faden and her guiding star.
I'm awake. Jesse, I'm awake.
The water threatens to leave her eyes again, but she won't let them fall again. Not when the sun is going down. Maybe when they have the chance to be just them. Not when they need to be the Director and the Champion of Light.
« It's really him. I mean, the Alan I know. Not the one the Dark Place is trying to make him. »
Jesse feels the familiar tug of reality shifting. Telling her to do one thing and set the next story beat. The next moment in the plot. Except, it's not Alan's story.
« No. No. Fuck this. I'm not playing along with what IT wants me to do. »
Jesse ignores that tug trying to get her to get her to move away--to stand up and go. Instead, she forces herself to move how she wants. Forward. She presses her lips to his while her grip on his hands tighten. ]
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His immediate, first instinct is to answer no, he could not. That's why he changed it in the first place. He couldn't bear to leave the story the way it was, even if, by changing it, he took away Jesse's right to choose for herself. He did it because he loves her, and couldn't stand the thought of her meeting her death like that. He can't stand the thought of her dying at all, if he's being honest, but seeing that printed on the page was too much for him.
But she was angry about what he'd done, and so she demanded that he fix it. He did, and he apologized, and he had several bad moments agonizing about how to write the story and put them back into it in a way that didn't leave loopholes or weaknesses for the Dark Presence to exploit. He couldn't bear it if it happened again because he didn't cover up all the loopholes that he could think of. But in the end, he realized that he simply couldn't account for every possibility. He'd just have to trust that Jesse and Polaris could work with what was in the story and find ways around it when they could.
In the present, Alan's eyes also stay focused on Jesse's. It's not hard, when they pull him in. But he's looking at her, asking her to trust him, to believe that he won't let her down this time. Letting her down is unthinkable. Letting her down by endangering her entire team is somehow even worse.
This story isn't your playground.
Has he been guilty of treating it as such? Of treating people's lives as pieces on a chessboard that he moves around according to his whims? The person who said that sharply worded statement certainly thought so.
Alan realizes that even though determination is driving him, he's afraid too. Afraid that this is a bad decision. Afraid of the very same thing that Jesse is, even if he doesn't realize it: what if, the second she looks away, he slips?
Am I asking her for too much? Asking her to trust me when even I'm not completely confident that I won't get dragged down again?
His doubts surface, and his mind threatens to spin away, but his expression hardens briefly as if trying to focus on that determination that rose up just moments ago. He can't allow the doubts to take hold, not now. Jesse might be feeling reality trying to shift, but for Alan, all he feels is his convictions shifting, threatening to give way beneath him. But before they can fall too far, something pulls him back. No, not just something. Someone.
He feels Jesse's grip on his hands tighten and feels her lips press against his. Instinctively, immediately, he's returning the kiss, not caring who sees. When she kisses him, everything around him fades away until it's just the two of them pouring out how they feel into one single gesture.
They'll have to move at some point, because the story will make them move, but for now, all Alan wants is to just have this moment. ]
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Maybe it wasn't Alan.
Maybe the story tied to keep it out once it realized someone else was in control. It--Scratch--fought back. Why? If Scratch wanted to be Alan, then wouldn't he have tried to take her? It couldn't be just because of Polaris... or maybe it's because it makes something change in Alan. Something his doppleganger can't replicate or take into himself.
Or, she's overthinking it, and it all really lies at Alan's feet.
« None of that matters now. Because he found a way for us to be real. Even if none of it would make sense to anyone else. It's not like it's harder to believe than alien entities living at the bottom of a lake that's a doorway to another reality. »
"What the hell? Come on, Jesse. This isn't the time." // "Really. Right in front of your agents? You're the Director. You should probably act like it, you know." // "The sun is going DOWN. We don't have time for this! Turn on the lights. Turn them on, right now. Why aren't you turning them on?!" // "Get off me. What the fuck are you doing?!"
Jesse isn't sure where the sudden barrage of thoughts in his voice come from. Or why she would even think he'd pull away. They aren't her thoughts, and she's damn sure they aren't Alan's. Her own insecurities have only ever taken his voice on once, and even then those words were what someone else had told her. Someone a long, long time ago.
No, reality is that he's returning the gesture. Immediately with no hesitation. Just as he had moments ago when making his statement he was awake and here with her.
« He's not leaving. He's not going to take it away again. He... he wants this to be as real as I do. Doesn't he? It's not my imagination or what i want projecting onto him... is it? No, it can't be. He has to want it as much as I do. He did once--he said so. Why would it be any different now? This story, reality, whatever the fuck it is won't change that. I KNOW that. »
Her still shaking hands leave his in order to rest on either side of his face. Jesse pulls him further into the kiss. Her heart pounds as all of the emotions feel like they're flooding back at full force. They were always there this loop, but now it feels a veil has been lifted and they encompass her all at once.
Love, yearning, hunger, loneliness, desperatation. Fingers curl slightly into his beard to feel the dirt and mud there. Her lips brush along his, mumbling his name against them. Only loud enough for him to hear.
« He... doesn't taste like salt water now. Just, eveything else that's on him. Mud, dirt. » ]
You're really out. [ Her voice doesn't raise above the mumble against his lips. ] You're here--home.
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But he doesn't want to focus on Scratch, not now. Enough time has been spent on him, and there will surely be more of that as long as he remains a threat. As long as the Dark Presence exists, so does the threat.
If he knew what was going on in Jesse's head, he'd be quick to jump in and interrupt those thoughts that aren't his with counter-arguments. He wants this. He wants to be with her. Even if it's not the wisest thing to do in front of her agents, he wants it. And more importantly, he wants it to be real, not just something that happens in dreams, but something real.
And so he kisses her, softly at first, but growing deeper by the second. She pulls him in further too, and he feels a pleasure sensation forming at the base of his spine. Even when he feels her fingers curling into his beard, that pleased feeling only grows. He's certain that it can't be nice to touch his beard, or to kiss him, given he hasn't cleaned up in who knows how long. But even that isn't enough to cause him to stop. If she isn't stopping, then neither is he. ]
Home. [ He breathes out the word against her lips. ] I'm home when I'm with you. [ The words slide out quickly, breathlessly, but he means them. She's his home. He feels safe when he's with her. And he hopes that she feels the same way about being with him.
There is so much out there that they can't fight against, but Alan knows he would throw everything he has at anything that tried to hurt her or pull them apart. There are, after all, some things worth fighting for. What he has with Jesse is one of those things, and he intends to safeguard it by any means necessary.
He deepens the kiss more, leaning into it just a little more, knowing that at some point, they'll have to break apart. At some point, Jesse will have to resume doing what she does as Director, and Alan will help in whatever capacity they allow him to. But he's not in any rush for that to happen, regardless of what danger may be looming over them all. ]
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She's already kissed him and been close to him while he was drenched from rain in the Dark Place. Mud and dirt aren't that much different. Blood is, but, they aren't leaning against one another just yet. That would be the only reason she'd break their kiss.
« Showers in the morning. Do they have them here at the station... »
Her heart stops at his words against her lips.
I'm home when I'm with you.
Then, her hear pounds a million beats in a second. The lingering dark thoughts are banished. Any worries she could have had about the fact he is still married--sort of--are gone. The only thing she can find herself focusing entirely on is him.
« Home... when did Alan Wake become home? »
Not that she feels they're at home. Where they should be. An apartment in New York City with brick industrial walls and plants hanging. Where they can share meals, watch movies, he can write books if he want. She can tell him about the mold monsters lurking in the Oldest House. That's the life she wants with him.
The one that can be real now.
Jesse feverishly kisses him back. Messy, demanding, longing. It really has been too long even if she can't quantify it...
Then, someone clears their throat.
She pauses in the kiss. Green eyes slide open just enough before looking at Alan. Then, they slide over and further upwards. The Ranger Captain is standing on the outside of the control point, arms behind his back, a knowing smirk on his face. HRA in place.
Oh.
Right. ]
Glad the two of you have, uh, reconnected. Even if it's in the parking lot of a station we've commandeered. Good call, Faden. [ A large shit-eating grin graces Steve's face. ] I'm not sure how to break it to the others that the Director is cozy with another parautalitarian... so maybe keep the kissing on the quiet side.
[ « He really does think he's a comedian. » Jesse scowls slightly at the Ranger who continues to grin. « Someone is asking for a dip in the Sound. » ]
Anyways, when you're ready to explain everything, Faden? I'll be inside. Oh, and Wake, I expect her back home by sundown. Which is in five minutes.
[ Jesse rolls her eyes but presses another quick kiss to Alan's lips. The Ranger isn't wrong. ]
I may need a hand standing up.
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Do I look like that when my mind is off and wandering?
He wonders to himself. He realizes that he probably looks a lot worse, if the way he feels when it's happening is any indication. To feel as though something is hollowing you out, pulling out everything that makes you you, is hardly a good feeling at all.
But even though Jesse's expression suggests something is pulling at her focus, she's still with him.
She is much stronger than I am. It's not the first time that Alan has marveled at Jesse's ability to push through when others would falter. But then she seems to pause, or freeze, and his eyes instantly flick up to lock on hers again. Did he say the wrong thing? Was he too plain in stating how he feels at home with her? But no- she's kissing him again, and it's faster, almost at a fever pitch, and he finds himself kissing back equally as hungrily and feverishly. Need seems to be driving them both to act desperately. Rashly. And dare he even think it, passionately.
But then the moment is disturbed. Not disturbed, just interrupted by a quiet but pointed cough. Alan's eyes slide open too, shifting to where Jesse's right hand man is standing. Steve. Shit. How much has he seen? We weren't being exactly subtle.
Alan doesn't pull away from Jesse, both because he doesn't want to lose his closeness to her, but also because he's still worried that she won't be able to support herself on her own. Cleansing the control point clearly took a lot out of her. And that does nothing to ease his nerves about how she'll be if- when a fight comes. But then again, the adrenaline response is a powerful one, and if it comes down to it, they all have to rise to the occasion. Jesse just might do it a little better than he can.
He rolls his eyes once at the ranger's comments, but he recognizes the good nature behind them, even though he knows he means what he says. They have other things to do right now that are more important than the two of them "reconnecting". Danger looms again, and they have to be ready. ]
Don't worry, we won't be long. Dad. [ It slips out before he can stop it, but Alan realizes he doesn't want to call it back. He might not have the same shit-eating grin that Steve's wearing, but he manages a smirk of his own and directs it at the other man before he turns his attention back to Jesse.
He reaches out for her, hand extended, offering the hand up that she asked for. It feels like very little, in terms of returning the favor for everything she's given him so far, but- if he has the chance, he wants to work up to that.
If we survive this. If I survive this. They have to survive. They're what's important. She's important. ]
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Jesse seems hardly bothered Steve has seen them, and more irritated that he interrupted. Steve has been there in enough loops to understand they're close. How he remembers is something that still nags at her mind. He isn't a parautalitarian. Maybe it's just being used to so many thresholds? He has been a ranger for decades...
« What am I, sixteen? Even if he's old enough to be my dad. Which is a thought I'd rather not think about again. Ugh. » ]
Hey, Mr. Famous. I'm still older than you, even if I don't look it. [ He grins then turns to leave. ] But, seriously. You got a handgun you prefer?
[ When he has his answer, Steve turns and heads back to the backside door. Estevez is waiting with her arms crossed, moving her gaze back and forth between the Director and the Ranger Captain. Then, Steve shuffles her inside.
Jesse pulls herself up with Alan's help. She firmly plants her bare feet against the asphalt to ground herself. Just until her legs and arms stop feeling like jelly. She has to pull herself together. They only have minutes, like Steve pointed out.
There is a hum in the air as the generators the field team brought with them click on. ]
He's ex-military. Navy pilot. [ Jesse says it as if it explains everything about Steve in two short sentences. ] They discharged him after some kind of accident killed his co-pilot. Steve blamed an unidentified flying object that caused a spin out? Or something. The FBC recruited him after that. He's been a high ranking ranger for years. [ She brushed the dirt off her pants as she gains her balance back. ] ...he takes all of it serious. Even if it doesn't seem like it. We lost most the rangers to the Hiss.
[ « What didn't we lose? Dylan. Multiple rangers. People. Scientists. The entire management team Trench put together... and any knowledge any of them had. That's why this AWE is important. Not just because of Alan and what I feel about him. The Dark Presence would do what the Hiss did. We CAN'T let that happen. »
Jesse looks back up at him and blows a stray piece of hair from her face. ]
But, he willingly volunteered to go to the Investigation Sector with me once I had it secured. [ « We really don't need to go over the details again. He knows I know, so, why waste time? » ] Helped me take down Hartman. He wouldn't let me come to Bright Falls on my own after fighting... the Thing. So, he might hover. A lot.
...Sorry. Just in case.
[ She glances to the back exit of the Sheriff Station. Then, she rocks forward and gives him another quick kiss. She can feel Polaris' resonance spike below her feet. Almost time. ]
Are you ready?
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Have I been deluding myself this whole time, thinking that I could have something as normal as being friends with them? More, in the case of Jesse?
That realization hits him like a ton of bricks, and he has to force himself to push those thoughts away, because they won't do him, or any of them, any good. ]
Mr. Famous? Yeah, that's definitely me. That's why I hear- Never mind. You don't need to know that. Careful you don't break a hip, Dad.
[ Some of the spiciness behind those words has gone out a little bit, but Alan still makes a valiant effort to banter back at Steve. It's good-natured, of course, and he genuinely does like the ranger. Which is why he listens with such rapt attention to what Jesse has to say while holding onto her as firmly and steadily as he can. ]
Ex-military. That explains a lot. [ And makes Alan feel like a fish out of water around all of them. But that's staying kept to himself. His expression sobers as she tells him about what happened to Steve's co-pilot. Maybe that's what all of them have in common: some form of tragedy or emotional disturbance follows them all. But Alan feels as though his problems pale in comparison to Steve's, and to Jesse's, if he remembered what she told him about herself before. About Ordinary.
But then he shrugs, not to indicate a lack of interest, just... trying to process it all. ] I know he does. The FBC got a good one, with him. [ Hopefully they don't lose Steve too. Alan might not know him that well, but he can at least recognize a vital player when he sees one. ]
I'm surprised more of you don't hover. [ Given who he is and what he's done. What he's had a hand in, directly or indirectly. I get the feeling that if Jesse wasn't the Director, I'd be back in that cell. Probably with those cuffs on.
He watches Jesse to make sure she's standing and not wobbling, and then he moves his hand long enough to rub his wrist. It doesn't hurt, and the cuffs did no damage, but he can still feel the weight of them even though she took them off as soon as she could.
He's quick to replace his hand on Jesse's forearm, hoping to add what little support he can give. And then she's kissing him again, just briefly, and just like that, he gets the message that it's about time to spring into action. ]
As ready as I'll ever be.
[ The look he gives her is one of resolve, as much as he can muster up. He'd be lying if there wasn't the smallest ripple of fear, but he can't let fear control him. Not when she's counting on him to be present for what's coming. ]
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« Do I even really fit into this conversation? Not because I'm a girl or whatever. But... because I'm me. The girl with an alien in her head, amplifying said alien's power on Earth. That doesn't tick many normal boxes. Hell, it doesn't tick any boxes at all. »
Jesse nods to what he says. All of it. There's not much more she can add to it. That's when it crosses her mind that all of this is new. This hasn't happened before in a loop. The last time they even tried to fight the Dark Presence on equal footing... well, it didn't end well. Not for her anyways. She doesn't intend to bring that up ever again--unless she has to for some reason. Alan refused to even acknowledge that manuscript page survived until he had to.
« Bundled up and thrown in the bottom of his bag. Never to be seen again. He left it in the Motel--my dreams. That's how I remembered it, isn't it? It'd explain how you can trigger memories of things I technically haven't done. I wonder if he remembers it... or even remembers he left it in the Motel. Not that I plan on asking him. »
Maybe one last thing before it all goes to hell in a hand basket.
Jesse rocks herself up onto the balls of her feet. Then, she pushes herself up and stays up. Not by much, just a few inches off the ground. Enough to put her on even eye level. She presses her forehead to his and gives him a smirk. A playful smile even. ]
I could hover more. If you wanted. [ She gives a gentle forward press. Then, she realizes, he really hasn't seen most of anything that she's capable of. They've never had the chance to fight side-by-side. Him with a flashlight and gun, and her with her powers and the Service Weapon. Polaris too, of course. ] If you're lucky you may even get to see it tonight. No promises though.
[ She remembers how draining the Darkness is. She'll need to be careful and not only stay in the light, but conserve her energy when she's not in it. It's a good thing the Service Weapon includes a few new modification she gained thanks to Hartman. All they can really do is wait and see how the night goes.
The street lights turn on and Jesse takes him by the hand and leads him inside. Once she's landed, of course.
Inside the field agents present are waiting. Jesse gives the basics of what they'll need to know. What they're wearing amplifies Polaris' resonance, protecting them from anything hostile that may try to get in. Darling made them before he... left. The Dark Presence is soaked into the land of Bright Falls, meaning that eventually, it's going to realize that they took the Sheriff's Station. Scratch will realize.
And she knows that makes Alan's blood run cold.
Which means their first priority is to survive this night. She felt as if the Dark Presence was... somewhere else. Far away. Busy, focused on something else. Someone else. She imagines it isn't the best to go off of, but she isn't about to ask Alan if he can sense Scratch or the Dark Presence. They don't need to tip their hand in the enemy's favor.
The weakest point is the basement--the morgue. That's also where the power happens to be. They can fill it with as much light as possible and drain the power further, or, set two agents to protect it under one heavy beam of light. The room is oddly quiet before Steve volunteers. All he needs is one bright light and a few rounds. Jesse keeps an even gaze with him before she nods in silent approval.
Even if she doesn't approve.
Estevez will take command of protecting the outside while Jesse will work on the inside. She has her own plan that she doesn't want to mention in words. Just in case. Which leaves Alan free to move where he needs between the three spots--if he feels the need.
A rumble is heard in the distance and night finally falls. ]
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Why can't it stay like this? Why does it have to turn dark again? The story always turns dark. I know that. But just once, I wish that it wouldn't. Just once, I wish that I could turn it into something happy. No one has to die. No one has to get hurt. We could just be happy.
But it's an illogical thought, and Alan knows that. He knows that just like he knows the story has to go a certain way. It has to follow a certain track, have a certain tone. He can make edits and change things, but it all has to fit within the pattern. Go too far in either direction, and the story fails to work. Isn't that how it's always gone?
I hate this story.
The only bright spot in all of it is Jesse. Jesse and Polaris, working as a unit, but mostly Jesse. He loves her, and she makes him feel at home, even when everything around him is falling apart. Falling down. Falling in pieces into the lake. The ocean. Whatever the hell it is.
I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know what's going to come, but it's going to be dark. Hard. Violent. But I have to keep Jesse safe. Alive.
She grounds him, and brings him back to shore when the waves wash him out. It's strange to think of her as the one person who keeps him grounded when- wait. She's hovering. Literally.
He stares. He's seen this before, but where? A stray thought nudges at his mind as if reminding him of that.
Maybe she can keep herself alive without my help. But I'm still going to give it. What's coming could kill us all. He doesn't know how he knows that, but intuition or inspiration or just a brainwave is telling him it's true. The dull ache in the back of his head is saying something too. It could be something, or it could be nothing. He wants it to be nothing, but he knows better than to hope for that.
For now, he just focuses his thoughts on Jesse. It's really not that hard for him to do. ]
You know what, I do think I want that. [ He smirks at her a little even as she presses her forehead against his again. ] So, you're going to put on a show? Hopefully I'll have a front row seat.
[ He follows after her without hesitation as she leads him inside, where she begins the briefing. The game plan. But it's not a game. It's life and death.
Scratch is coming. The Dark Presence is coming. Alan's blood has run cold, and the ache in his head is growing. But if he tells anyone, they'll bench him. Maybe it's selfish. Maybe it's stupid. But he wants to fight. He wants to help. He can help. The headache won't get in the way. It won't make him a liability. Somehow, he knows that much.
Positions are decided. Steve takes the basement. Alan wonders if he should start there, and move elsewhere. Or should he start outside with Estevez? Inside with Jesse? What's the best move here?
For now, he just decides to stay inside as night falls. He'll inevitably have to move, or be drawn into a fight and be forced to move. But inside is where it's still light, and it's where he feels he can still breathe. Might as well take what he can while it lasts. He watches the various agents moving around, and spots Jesse from time to time, and when he's asked to do something, even if it's just to move out of the way, he complies. He wants to help, however that ends up looking. ]
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