synthneon | bloody tears || ❝ our fate so darkly romantic, i will never leave your side. ❞

[ Aymeric might be the first to say that he and Reid are somewhat opposites. The older man is far more down to earth than Aymeric tends to be, even though his thoughts and feelings have somewhat changed along with the change to who and what he is. His thoughts may not be in the clouds, but sometimes they do seem to hover a little bit off the ground.

Regardless, Aymeric respects Reid immensely and greatly looks forward to his occasional visits. Even when those visits come with somewhat stern lectures, Aymeric remains grateful for them and for Reid's company. Not many remained following his turning, and he is so very grateful to the few who did.

In his mind, Reid is the closest thing he has to a father figure, and he responds to him as such. Whatever reason has brought Reid back here today, Aymeric does not know, but he is happy to see him. ]

My apologies for keeping you both waiting. I- Well, it was not intended. [ Neither does he regret the additional time he shared with Lantaa in slumber, but he does regret keeping both Reid and Estinien waiting. ] It was no intrusion at all. You are both welcome here any time you please.

[ He does not often receive visitors, much less friends coming to call, so he has no intentions of begrudging either of them. ]

I imagine that some errand or purpose brings you here.

[ For being an older man? Jonathan truly was not much older than Aymeric when he was changed. He too is gifted with eternal age, and yet, it is his lived life that makes him appear as older. He has lived more of a century and seen how Ishgard has changed since the deals made with the voidsent. He and Aymeric are proof of that change. ]

There is no need to apologize. Our schedules are rather... opposite from normal ways. [ Still, he smiles at the welcome and glances once more at the dragoon who would quite obviously prefer to be elsewhere. ] Unfortunately, yes. Social calls will need to wait I am afraid.

[ Estinien takes the moment to raise his head and look at his longest (and only) friend. He has done away with his helmet for now, and dressed in more casual clothing. One might expect a knight to look more professional, yet, Estinien has never cared much for it. ]

We have been called away for the weekend. Training, they call it. [ Estinien gives a huff and roll of his eyes. ] Either because the Garleans are threatening Eorzea, or the Astrologians believe the sighting of a dragon star might be possible. Pick whichever reason you find best suiting and it will be most likely the one they insist upon.

[ Jonathan nods. ] And, as such, I have been asked to make certain any and all peoples like us are capable of performing their duties with... as little resistance as possible. Standard procedure, as always, of course. Especially given Ser Estinien reported you had a rather extensive injury that had been healed by the time you returned to Ishgard.

[ The doctor glances once more at the dragoon as he gives an annoyed huff. ]

[ For his part, Aymeric does not see himself as proof of anything in particular. Jonathan has continued to walk his chosen path, a path that seems far nobler in Aymeric's mind. He is merely a knight who goes where he is told, following whatever orders he is given. He takes lives, whereas Jonathan tries to save them. But it is because of Jonathan's example that Aymeric does his best to try and be a better man. ]

Opposite is putting it mildly, I think. [ But he smiles to show that he agrees with him, rather than contradicting him. His smile falters just slightly when Jonathan confirms his suspicions, but such is the way of life.

He spares a glance for Estinien, wondering what has brought him here. He does not have to wonder for long, however. ]

I see. [ The reasons register, yet they do little to fill Aymeric with anything more than resignation. ] And when are we to leave?

[ He turns back to Jonathan, listening to his answer as well, and a look of mild apprehension crosses his face. He does not fear being examined, but he feels some measure of unsettled at the same time. ]

It was no mere scratch, given that it came from the talons of a dragon, but I can assure you, I am well.

[ As well as it is possible to be, at any rate. He glances back at Estinien as well when he hears that huff of annoyance. If he did not know Estinien half as well as he does, he would assume other reasons for that particular reaction. But for the moment, he leaves any observations along those lines unsaid. ]

Would either of you like a drink? [ He does not often play host, nor would he say he is particularly skilled at it, but he does his best. ]

[ And yet, Ishgard is in need of her Knights. Jonathan has chosen his path, or according to his maker, it was chosen for him. The day will come when he will need to face the reason he was reborn, but for now, that day seems to continue to be quite some time away. As such, he will devout himself to his true calling in his mind. Just as he suspects Aymeric will one day find his own calling. ]

Sunrise. They found this training to be of the utmost importance. [ Estinien shakes his head. ] If our fellow Knights find themselves unprepared to fight for Ishgard, dragon or man, then perhaps we have already succumbed to a path of defeat.

Or, they are merely showing force if strength. [ Jonathan intersects his opinion. ] Should it be the Garlean Empire, then, it would do Eorzea well to see thr strength the Holy Sea commands. If it continues to be dragons? Then, it will merely show that we have yet to fall.

[ Jonathan however can tell Estinien is far from moved or impressed. As such, he shakes his head and motions for Aymeric to take a seat. He sees no reason in putting off the examination for very long. ]

A bourbon, if you have it in your stock.

[ Estinein waves his hand to pass the offered drink. Instead, he pulls forward the orders addressed to Ser Aymeric de Borel. He places them on the desk and then leans against it. ]

[ Aymeric's loyalties remain more or less intact, although he feels that he is different from the other Knights that he fights and trains alongside. They are whole and unchanged and not Voidsent, and to him, the gap between them seems almost too big to cross. His place is with them for now, but he does not know if it is his calling or what he will do with the rest of his life.

At Estinien's words, his expression drops into something akin to disappointment and regret. Orders are orders and cannot be ignored, but that is far sooner than he would like. ]

Ah. Well, then I must see my affairs in order. [ He does not have much to see in order, but now he has Lantaa to consider, and that is the cause of his regret. ] After the examination, of course.

[ He listens to the brief exchange between the two men but he finds he does not have observations of his own to contribute. ]

Of course. One moment. [ He obtains a mug and a bottle of bourbon that he keeps solely because he knows of Jonathan's tastes in drinks. Once obtained, he pours it out and hands it over to him before he moves to take a seat for the examination. ] If you would like more, feel free.

[ Estinien raises an eyebrow at the mention of affairs. He keeps quiet for now, but, he is certain he understands what affairs truly mean.

Johnathan nods in thanks before holding the drink between his hands. There is no point in cutting their social visit short simply because duty is at hand. Duty has usually kept them from being social as it is. ]

I'm certain that we can indulge after. [ He leans back in his seat. ] Given our drinks, perhaps we ought to converse of your mental and emotional stability. [ The medical professional terminology must be at the forefront unfortunately. ] Tell me how your latest battle went. The wound you sustained, and the reactions your... darker nature had.

[ He laughs a wry sort of laugh. Indulgence is not something he does often, simply because he does not make time for it, but also, he is unsure how that might look. He believes he has had a taste of it since Lantaa came into his life. If not for her encouragement and insistence that he take what he needs from her, he knows he would never have opened that particular door. But Jonathan does not need to hear his thoughts on these matters, even if he were to ask, and it is unbecoming of him to be lost in his own head. ]

You are the doctor here; I shall do whatever you wish me to. [ Against his earlier resolution, his mind wanders just a bit as he thinks back to that last battle and everything that transpired after. ]

It was a battle like all the others we have had previously, with many injured on both sides of the conflict. I- Well, I had a momentary lapse in judgment and allowed a dragon to get close enough to strike.

[ He winces involuntarily at the memory of it, but continues on. ]

As for the rest, well... I needed some encouragement to... to feed.

[ He does not like speaking of this any more than he likes the actual act of feeding upon another, but he also knows he does not have to fear judgment from Jonathan on this particular topic. Estinien, on the other hand, might have some thoughts concerning it, but he knows who and what Aymeric is. ]

Edited 2023-04-02 08:28 (UTC)

This... lapse in judgement. Was it a failure to observe your surroundings, or, perhaps something more self destructive? [ His head tilts. While he doubts Aymeric has a death wish? He is aware that the man is very unhappy with his "new life." ] As Ser Estinien tells the tale, the dragon took you by surprise. I am left to wonder, as your physician, if your senses have dulled at all on the battlefield.

[ He pauses then at the next wording--"to feed." It is quite vague, as Aymeric had taken the habit Jonathan himself has to sustain himself. However, if the wound is as accurate as Estinien had described? A mere rat or two would not be enough to not only heal the wound, but to put he knight back on his feet. ]

If you do not mind my prying, how did your wound heal? Feeding in the manner that you do is hardly enough to sustain you, let alone heal such a major wound.

[ Almost immediately, Aymeric shakes his head. He is, as Jonathan knows, considerably unhappy with the turn his life has taken, but that does not translate to a death wish on his part. ] It embarrasses me to admit it, but it was a failure on my part. There were no self-destructive thoughts influencing my actions, I assure you.

The dragon did surprise me, yes. As to my senses... [ He lightly shrugs. ] The field of battle is full of noise and clamor and distraction. But perhaps it is a case of my senses not being what they ought.

[ But when Jonathan's next words sink in, Aymeric's reaction is immediate. His hands clench into fists and his shoulders drop, and where he was speaking relatively freely just moments ago, a pointed silence takes hold instead. To speak aloud that he cannot answer would only bring about more questions, but questions will come regardless, he is certain.

And so he maintains silence, but he does not let his gaze shift away, as he feels that would only indicate that he has something to hide. ]

[ Jonathan nods. He is pleased to see that his ward has not given up the will to live, as it were, despite the circumstances his new life leads him to be. He comes to the conclusion that it is a problem where Aymeric has not kept his greater and additional senses honed, and perhaps he was merely overwhelmed.

The lack of answer leads him to frown ever so slightly. The doctor is aware of Aymeric's personality and the fact he does not often--if ever--lie. Perhaps it is shame that keeps him from giving an answer? Which, if such is the case, would mean he has fed from another person.

However, before Jonathan can question further, it is Estinien who speaks: ]

His wound was life threatening, thus I took him to a woman I knew would heal him for a price. The Witch of the Wilds. [ He makes direct eye contact with Jonathan, caring little for the reaction his brother must have. ] I presume he fed from her. She seemed quite certain she could care for him in both wound and his nature.

So much so, that, she returned to Ishgard with us.

[ If fear of betraying the secret he has been told and intends to protect at whatever cost was what kept him silent before, it pales in comparison to the feeling of shame that sweeps over him once Estinien finishes giving his explanation. Of course his friend and brother is correct in his account, down to the very last detail of how Aymeric fed from Lantaa. Of course, the retelling does not give away her identity as a white mage, but he still fears that Jonathan, who is more than a little perceptive, will put the pieces together and figure out what it is that he is not saying.

He still does not speak, but he fixes Estinien with a glance that would appear blank except for his slightly widened eyes. He holds his gaze for a few seconds before looking away and back towards Jonathan.

Surely now that he has heard Estinien, his mentor and physician will have more questions for him. And, he imagines, he will not allow him to remain silent. ]

[ Jonathan's eyebrows raise at the tale he is given, as well as the silence from his ward. The silence all but confirms the tale... and yet, why does Aymeric refuse to say a word of it? He is aware Estinien believes his brother to be bewitched, however, this seems a willing silence and not one of forced obedience.]

The Witch of the Wilds? [ Jonathan asks Aymeric to confirm it. Then, he sits back in thought. He rather doubts it is the true Master Matoya. How the elder vampire would know such a thing is a tale for another time. ] And she is here, in Ishgard?

[ Estinien nods. ] She boards here.

...I see. [ Jonathan looks once more to Aymeric. ] I am led to believe all that Ser Estinien says is true. As such, as your physician, I find myself having to ask: is this arrangement mutually agreed by both parties?

[ Perhaps in a way, this is for the best as Aymeric knows he may not have offered the information voluntarily. He certainly does not begrudge Estinien for speaking, although he is presently experiencing no small amount of uncertainty and hesitancy with what he should say next.

At the very least, he gives Jonathan a slow nod to confirm the identity of the person who healed him. And there is a part of him that feels he was foolish to try and conceal these secrets, as he knows well enough that secrets have a way of being found out.

With the knowledge that she resides with him out in the open, he reasons that there is little reason to continue holding his silence. Her true identity will remain hidden, of course, but it would be odd to continue to refuse to speak. ]

It is. [ Reluctantly, on his part, but they have come to an understanding regardless. ] I do not intend to be excessive about it, however. [ He would not feed from her at all, but it seems clear enough to him that she trusts him, and thus he needs to learn to trust himself as well. ]

It would explain why there is a certain color to your person, and a more confident way you hold yourself. [ Jonathan nods. ] It is not for me to make comments or conjectures on how often you feed or not. Such things are for both parties to decide. And, should the agreement be beneficial, and cause no harm to either party or others? Then, you hardly need my approval.

[ Yet, he can tell such answers do not appease Estinien. Not that he is here to please the dragoon. He is here to make certain his ward is capable of continuing his duties as a Temple Knight. As such, he takes one more drink of his bourbon before placing it to the side and standing. Off comes the long coat he wears in order to roll up his sleeves. Now, for the medical examination. ]

I will need to examine the wound and then your reflexes, Aymeric. If you do not mind. [ He nods. ] I imagine with more... nourishing substance, we will see an improvement from last we spoke.

Those things- They are not unwelcome, but I... [ He pauses, searching for the right words to explain how he feels. ] Even with permission and an agreement, it still feels so very wrong. [ Perhaps the admission seems to have come from nowhere and without announcement, but if he cannot tell Jonathan how he feels, who can he tell? Estinien might listen, but would he understand? Aymeric does not wish to saddle his friend with that regardless. ]

The rats do not give their permission either, but- [ He closes his mouth then, cutting off the rest of that sentence. He could lay out all his concerns and worries, but what would it accomplish? The decision to feed or not is a personal one, as Jonathan has said. ]

I see no reason why I would mind, much less refuse. [ He trusts Jonathan, and so he readies himself for the examination. ] Tell me what you need me to do, and I will do it.

That is a discussion you should have with your donor, Aymeric. Not me. [ He shakes his head as he rolls up his sleeves. ] We walk our own paths through this twisted life that we have. If the experience is unpleasant, then, it is something that is of importance to bring up to her.

[ He motions for Aymeric to remove his shirt so he might inspect the wound. Standard medical procedure. ]

I take it that it is the large scar on your back? It was quite the wound. Your... partner is quite skilled at healing. [ Perhaps through aether, given the way that things have healed. However, he will simply let that be for now. ] Was the healing namely her doing or also to replenishment?

[ Aymeric shakes his head then and offers Jonathan a rueful smile. ] I apologize, I was speaking aloud in an attempt to make sense of things that may never fully make sense. She and I have much still to learn and decide upon.

[ He knows that Jonathan did not mean it as a chastisement, but he feels quite small at this present moment when faced with Jonathan's calmness and knowledge.

He contents himself with removing his shirt as requested and sitting still while Jonathan conducts his examination. ] It is indeed, and yes, she is.

[ He shivers involuntarily as if the scar is still sensitive even though it is completely healed. ] The healing was her doing, as was the replenishment. She insisted that it was necessary for my recovery.

Such is the nature of any relationship. My own has been rather... well, shall we say, I was uninformed for most of our starting months. Before it was truly a proper relationship. [ Jonathan gives a wry smile. Now is not the time to discuss such things. ] I hope that for your sake, the two of you come to an agreement.

[ So, this Witch of the Wilds is quite the healer. He cannot say he is too surprised given who her mentor is. Yet, somehow, it seems as if this is a far deeper affair than perhaps Aymeric realizes. ]

She is not wrong. If the wound is as it looks, it would have been fatal, had she not intervened and Ser Estinien made the choice that he did. Even with the wound healed? If you had not fed, I imagine you would still be healing even to this day.

[ He falls silent for a moment or two while Jonathan continues his examination, and as he does, a memory surfaces and he feels obligated to let him know of it. ]

I know that I said I have no interest in throwing away my life, but there was a time while she was at work that I felt a certain resignation... resignation that I might not survive, and that if I did not, it might not be such a bad thing.

But I am still here, and there must be a reason for it. [ He sees no such reason for himself, but now that Lantaa has entered his life, there is a purpose that he did not have before. ]

[ Jonathan does not comment on such feelings. After all, what could he say? The resignation of ones fate is hardly limited to voidsent such as them. It is a matter of finding something that makes their seemingly eternal existence worth it in the end. His calling has always been that of healing and aiding those in need. Perhaps Aymeric has begun to discover his own calling.

He inspects the scar once, twice more, before motioning for Aymeric to place his shirt back on. Then, they begin to test the reflexes. He taps the joints and certain parts in order to see what the response time is. His ward has certainly improved since their last examination, yet, Jonathan feels he should not point out just how vastly improved Aymeric has become. The man is already unsure as it is to feeding from mankind as opposed to small animals. The last thing his ward needs is to believe that his chosen path is faulty or necessary. ]

Perhaps your reason for being here will become clearer in the coming weeks.

[ Jonathan nods and gives a firm shoulder squeeze to the younger Elezen. Then, he turns to the orders and pulls out a marker. Next, he moves to find wax so he might put his official seal on the orders. A seal that marks that Aymeric is fit to continue serving for the time being. ]

I see no reason to hold you away from duty's call. Your reactions are improved, as your general health. Your wounds are healed. By all medical accounts, you are fit as you could ever be. [ Although, perhaps not entirely. He has yet to truly embrace his more voidsent abilities. ] And as Ser Estinien does not need my approval, it would seem the purpose of our visit has come to satisfying conclusion.

[ Estinien turns to look at the doctor then. ] Can you not see how he has been bewitched by her? He would never feed from another living being!

Bewitched, is it? [ Jonathan turns his gaze back to Aymeric and suppresses a smile. ] An interesting phrase to use for the idea of being in love, Ser.

[ Perhaps he ought not have been so forthcoming with his feelings and his thoughts, but at least in this particular instance, they spilled out before he could call them back. While Jonathan completes his examination, Aymeric remains silent once more, moving when his tests require him to, but otherwise keeping still.

That is, until Jonathan comments aloud once more. ] Perhaps it will, and perhaps I will recognize it when it does.

[ Privately, he holds doubts concerning that, but he leaves that unsaid. ]

Very well. [ He understands that orders are orders, and with Jonathan's clearing him for duty, he will be leaving very soon indeed. ] Thank you for your time, as always.

[ He turns slightly to look at Estinien with a raised eyebrow and a shake of his head. Jonathan's answer is the truth of it, although Aymeric finds he cannot stop a hint of a blush from forming at the base of his neck. ]

I can see how it might appear as though I am bewitched, but I am not, although I realize words alone are not reassuring.

[ He is certain that he cannot change Estinien's mind, and expending the energy to do so is not something he wishes to do at the moment. ]

Can you fight alongside someone who may be bewitched? [ The question seems valid enough to him, and so he asks it with little hesitation. ]

For your sake? I hope you do recognize it.

[ Jonathan finishes his seal before sliding it to the side for the mark in the wax to melt. He begins to roll his sleeves down and eyes the two. So, the truth of the matter comes out. Estinien certainly has an odd way of showing his wariness and worry of the woman that has seemingly captivated Aymeric's heart. ]

That would depend if you are bewitched. [ Estinien narrows his eyes. ] She is a witch, Aymeric. How could you be certain you are not under her wiles?

I suppose all I can do is wait and see what comes. [ And since he has no gift of foresight, that will have to be enough. ]

As I said, I am not. She has not bewitched me; we came to an agreement and an understanding. [ He shrugs. All he has is his confidence and even trust that she would not do such a thing to him. ]

You brought me to her for healing, and she has done that, has she not?

[ He is certain that Estinien will harbor doubts no matter what he says, so for the moment, he leaves it there. ]

Yes, and yet you have fed from her, brought her to your home, and have become close to her. A handful of days truly can make such a difference?

[ Jonathan glances between them once more. ] Perhaps now is not the time for such a discussion? Surely the pair of you will have much to discuss when you are on your way to your destination.

[ Estinien scowls before pushing himself up from his leaning position. With one last long glance, he turns and sees himself from the room. Jonathan then turns his attention back to Aymeric with a small shrug. ]

[ Aymeric opens his mouth to reply, but before he can, Estinien has already begun moving and is out of the room before he has time to even say anything.

He glances at Jonathan, shakes his head once, and offers a sigh by way of response. ]

Well, what are your plans now? I imagine you have other things to tend to now that you have conducted your work here.

[ He sees no reason why he should rush Jonathan on his way, but if he says he must depart, he will not delay him unnecessarily. ]

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