synthneon | FF PSL | ❝ two-toned echoes tumbling through time. ❞

[ After all of the ups and downs that they have been through together, shunning her is the last thing he would ever do. Why would he ever do such a thing, when he has finally had joy and love enter his life again? To turn her away now would be a blow to himself as well, and thus the notion of shunning her seems utterly ridiculous.

Perhaps now it is him that needs her too much, that relies upon her far too much for the happiness that she brings to him. And yet, he cannot stop himself from missing her greatly when she is gone and all but rushing to be with her when she returns.

Her reaction is clear: she is responding to his touches and his attention, and she seems to like being called his lady. She is the lady of his house as far as he is concerned; that they have yet to be officially joined is, in his mind, beside the point. Now he can imagine none other besides her taking that position, and as things stand now, he will see no one else fulfilling that role. ]

I am honored and even pleased to be called your knight, just as I hope that you are pleased to be called my lady. When I allow my thoughts to wander and to think of the future, I can imagine none other than you standing by my side.

[ Even though I have not lived up to the expectations of a knight protecting his lady. You have been hurt and there is very little I can do save offer what comfort I can... He still fears that what he has to offer is not enough, considering that he can do nothing to protect her from harm or from the threats and enemies that she faces. ]

Then rest together we shall. [ A questioning look crosses his face then at that last bit of her statement. ] Do you have the strength to-? Nay, I would not tax you more than you already are.

[ He does like it when she assists in removing his armor, but to him, that seems like a foolish request. She is meant to be resting, and assisting him would be doing the opposite of that. ]

[ If he needs her far too much, than she is equally as guilty. She has often wondered if she is found to be too attached to him. Surely, it must look rather ridiculous to her sister to find her holding a pillow as she could not hold onto the man she calls her mate. A part of her feels as if it has been left behind in Ishgard whenever she is so far away. A sentiment they have both expressed to one another, as they rarely feel complete without the other there.

Being called his lady is something of an honor in her mind. While the notion is quite obvious, given the fact she is to be betrothed to him? Hearing the name is something entirely different. Especially when she hears it from him. The smile on her face increases just a bit more as her tail sways more. ]

I would hope so, as I have called you as such for some time now. [ A blush takes her face with his following words. He could see none other at his side? Her fingers trail along his before she once again presses them to her cheek. She would much rather her heart beat the way it does in this circumstance than panic and fear. The all familiar drive to at least lay down beside him as his wife would starts to take hold. ] Does my lord's thoughts often stray to the future in such a manner?

[ Alkaid's head tilts by merely a fraction at his question. ] I... I could at least undo the fastens and buckles...

[ Her ears lower just slightly before she rests their hands between them. Of course, if he would rather her not assist him, she will not press the matter. While she has only been able to help him from his armor a few times? Something of the notions strikes her deep in her heart. It truly is something that a lady would do for her lord knight in her mind. Perhaps it is a rather romantic fairytale notion and not what they in Ishgard truly do.

Still, she presses a smile for him. A moment passes and then she carefully removes herself from his lap. Alkaid settles herself beside him so he may have the room to do as he needs. ]

[ Even though none have witnessed the depths of his longing for her when they are apart save for the household staff, he knows that how he appears must seem completely ridiculous as well. He is a grown man, capable of carrying on with his life and affairs on his own, and for the most part, he does. But still, he has yet to manage to shake off the loneliness that comes over him when they are separated, and he wonders if she feels the same. Well, part of him believes that she does, because he has seen signs of it himself, and it is not difficult for him to imagine that they both would miss each other greatly given how close they have become.

But the fact remains that nothing can be done about it, which is why it is even more important that they enjoy these moments that they have together. ]

I would even go as far as to say that I hope you do not stop for any reason. If only I might find a suitable name with which to call you, although as I am sure you know, I am very partial to your true name.

[ And then he huffs out a quiet laugh, shaking his head once. ] Before I met you, I did not. Perhaps the fact that my people and my city were locked in a seemingly endless war had something to do with it. The future seemed far off and not at all bright or hopeful before you and yours came along.

Now, however... I must admit that my thoughts do stray, perhaps more than they should.

[ He finds his thoughts straying to ones concerning their wedding and their future life together, and when those thoughts come, he does not chase them away. But he is fully aware that the Lord Speaker ought not be given over to daydreams, and so he does his best to remain focused, especially when he is meant to be working. ]

If you wish to, I will be glad for your help. [ His lips turn up into a small smile then. ] There are a lot of fastens and buckles, as I am sure you know, and some are harder to reach than others.

[ He shifts his position as well, so that they might begin this task at hand. ]

If you feel the need to rest, do not hesitate to do so. I can manage well enough on my own after a time. Now, where would you like to begin?

[ She most certainly misses him as much as he does her. Alkaid is not prideful enough to say that she misses him more in some vein attempt to make it a contest. For a fair amount of time, she had wondered if perhaps she felt things deeper, or that she was the one that cared far more than he. The night before the battle for Ala Mhigo was the single moment that changed her mind in that regard. His desire to break the boundary established for marriage surprised her, but, she could see the underlining emotion that drove it clear in his eyes.

Longing.

That is the precise emotion that she has in her eyes at that moment. Gods, she has missed him. "Missed" is far too much of an understatement. There were so many times she had wished to roll over in bed and reach out for him and his comfort. Perhaps she even did a few times in her sleep. A part of her had a sting of envy that K'thisru was able to speak to G'raha whenever she wished to--and needed to. Now, of course, she has that opportunity with her betrothed and the words of her latest adventure seem lodged in her mind, unable to be said.

She smiles, regardless of how small it is, at the joy in his tone and eyes at the prospect of a better future for his home. Even if he had never returned her affections and alls he could do was watch him from afar? The happiness in his expression would have been worth all of the struggles of the end of the Dragonsong War. Alkaid had been prepared to love him from afar; never once having her affections returned. After all, why would the Lord Commander of Ishgard's Temple Knights ever turn an eye towards a Warrior of Light outside of affections of an ally...

His shifting causes her to snap from her thoughts. She blinks, looking down at their hands with her ears raised. Oh!

One bashful smile is given to him for her thoughts wandering away from her. Then, she raises her hands, and slips underneath the fabric of his armor. She begins to loosen the buckles and fastens. Her head even tilts to the side a few times as she almost expertly moves her hands to where they need to go. ]

Any name for me will do, my true name or one that only you call me. [ Although, she too is partial to him saying her name.

Her tail sways gently before coming to a stop underneath the white robe. She glances down at her hands before raising her gaze to look at him. ] Have you ever thought of... of a possibility in which we did not come together as we are? An Ishgard saved, the war ended, but for some reason, we did not come together? Perhaps you may not have returned those feelings... or...

[ Alkaid's gaze drops and her hands still. Her question comes from a place of insecurity of herself and not of him. Surely, that must be clear for him to see. She does not imagine a world, or timeline, in which she does not love him. What if they were not allowed to be together? What if his affections had been different? Her ears flatten to her head. ]

...or perhaps there was another in Ishgard who was a better match for you. [ The last half of her statement is forced out, her words choked and filled with emotion. ] Someone far better than me--one you deserve. A lady who can be here every night to welcome you home, who is allowed to care for your home.

[ Alkaid lowers her head and clutches her hands inside the trappings of his armor. ]

S-someone not broken by war... or circumstances larger than life... who must not seem so far out of your reach because of what she is forced to do...

[ He has said it numerous times already by now that to repeat himself again may very well bore her. But she completes him and makes him feel whole, as opposed to torn in two and perpetually longing for her to return from her journeys. He had managed to live with that longing, but on the eve of the battle for Ala Mhigo, it became too much for him to suppress.

He does not regret that decision, not even a little, because at the very least, now he has the memories of that encounter to hold him and carry him through when they are far apart and the waves of loneliness threaten to pull him under. The house feels so very cold and empty without her, and that is saying nothing for how it feels to retire for the evening in an empty bed.

It should not be surprising, then, that most nights he delays going to take his rest, because he does not wish to face that empty room and the emmpty bed.

But now, none of those feelings are at the forefront of his thoughts. She is with him, and he is content. When she begins to go about her work of helping to remove his armor, he remains as still as he can so as to make the process easier even as a thoughtful look takes his face. ]

What would I call you other than the name you have shared with me? It is a name that I am very fond of, and it fits you. [ Pet names do not come as easily from him as they do for her, but he would make an attempt for her sake. ]

I must admit that I have not entertained those possibilities or those thoughts. [ He wonders why she asks, but he imagines the answer will come presently. ]

I would rather be alone for the rest of my days than be matched with another. Perhaps that is a foolish thing to say, but I believe I know my own heart, and I cannot imagine having another at my side. Neither can I imagine anyone who could be kinder and more faithful than...

[ There is a slight pause, as a phrase has just sprung to mind, and although it feels foreign to him as he has never said such a thing to anyone before, he allows instinct to guide him. ]

Than you, dearest. [ It hardly begins to describe the depth of the feelings and the love he has for her, but the word slipped out and he did not wish to call it back. ]

I... Well, experience has shown me that one can hardly go through the entirety of their life without taking one hurt or another.

[ What he says next is not said out of a desire for her sympathy or any other form of commiseration. It is merely the way of the world they live in, and it seems to him that they have both learned this lesson several times over. Her wounds seem far more grievous than his own, and he wishes he could take every one away from her, but alas, he cannot. ]

Some wounds do not heal. And yet I would have you as you are, because you are the one I love.

[ And he knows he does not need to ask if she will accept him as he is, because she has already made that plain. Now it is his turn to do the same for her. ]

[ The decision nor act is certainly one she does not regret as well. In fact, she would give him all the more memories of their time together that she can. Memories she very much aims to make as soon as possible. However, she is aware that food will be brought to her, and there is the matter of his armor to attend to.

Despite the shift of her tone and mood, her eyes widen in anticipation for what he might say. Truthfully, she needs him to call her no other name but her own. If he wishes to give her another title, then she will more than oblige to it. He allows her to call him hers with any name. It truly means far more than she has ever expressed or could express to him.

Her ears stand entirely atop of her head at the name that leaves him. Dearest. A sparkle comes to her eyes even if the other words he speaks are true. Some wounds do not heal, and now, she has her own as he has his. Of course, she has her scars and her own baggage from her upbringing. This, however... this is so different. ]

...does it stop hurting?

[ For he would know. He is a solider and his scars and wounds from war are not just on his body. Those she can mend and heal. These wounds? The ones of the heart? She has no idea how to begin to mend them. However, if her comfort can help ease his, perhaps that is what she too needs of him.

A hand leaves his armor to reach for his face. The dark purple hand covering can be seen peeking from beneath her white robes. Her fingers are still slightly child as they rest on his cheek. Then, without warning, she moves to be on her knees so she might touch her nose to his. ]

"Dearest." [ Her tail sways side to side underneath the robe and the sparkle remains in her eyes.

Yes, she approves of the term of endearment. The familiar pounding in her ears starts as her heart beats faster. The rest of what he has said does not go unheard or unnoticed. Despite the pull of emotions that threatens to drown out everything else? What he says overpowers it all. No one other than her would be who he wishes to spend his days with. Her heart clenches. How was she so blessed to find him?

Without warning she places her mouth to his in a deep kiss. ]

Edited 2022-05-01 10:22 (UTC)

[ Only recently have thoughts that were merely stray ones or fragmented ideas begun to solidify in his mind and turn towards a future in which he and the woman he now thinks of as his dearest, and his beloved, are joined together with nothing keeping them apart. He has already expressed being unable to ponder a life without her, and that has turned into a feeling so deep he can scarcely put it into words.

To lose her now would mean losing all the joy he derives from life and living, and therefore, he is even more resolved to protect her to the best of his ability. And that is something he still struggles with, because it seems to him that he has very little ability to protect her from even the smallest of threats.

But she has asked him a question, and the answer to it springs to mind with barely any effort, because he has countless experiences to back it up. ]

If I could assure you that it does, that one day, it will all fade away and become only a memory, I would. Oh, it does fade, and you will likely forget it in time.

[ It seems far too cruel for him to say that though the memory will fade, the wounds will still be present. But one can learn to tolerate those wounds, and it does not hurt every moment of every day, which is a thing he is very grateful for indeed. ]

Surrounding yourself with friends and family is a stronger remedy than any potion or tonic.

[ His eyes slide closed for a moment when she touches his face. But they are quick to open again just in time to see that sparkle in her eyes that suggests she does like the term he has decided to use for her.

He intends to say more, but before he can, her lips are upon his, and he finds himself leaning in to deepen the kiss, arms moving to circle her waist and draw her in further. ]

[ The reality of their situations would tell her that there is always the possibility that they may lose the other. A war continues on, even if it is far from Ishgard. Political struggles surface at home as Ishgard herself continues to debate the way forward. Yet, even then, every part of her being fights against the idea. A feeling from deep inside her soul screams at the very concept.

They have finally found one another. They cannot be separated now--not now.

As always when he speaks, her attention it entirely devoted to him. The tips of her ears twitch. It fades away in time. The wound will always be there to ache, but, perhaps one day it will not hurt. Perhaps one day she will be able to see her hair and her changed eye and not tumble down into the haunting memories. Maybe one day she will even see herself again....

That day cannot be far away. It must not be. Far too many depend on the Warriors of Light, and now the Warriors of Darkness. There must be a way to overcome all of this quickly--to heal faster; to be "better" quicker. For all their sakes...

Friends and family. The people she loves more than anything else. K'thisru is so far away now. No, she is living a life separate from Alkaid, and with someone who has loved her for hundreds of years. She has those of another world to care for and look after now. In a blink of an eye, K'thisru has grown up in so many ways. Alkaid spent many nights wondering if her sister had finally grown past needing her to look after her. Wanted, most certainly, but not needed. A part of her is so proud of it, while another cannot help the feeling of being left behind.

Would Aymeric move forward without her as well?

A spike of panic grips her heart then. Her hands curl into the ends of his hair as they normally might. She moves with his direction, as always, but the sense of desperation leaks into her kiss. She cannot lose him now, and if she must heal faster to be the woman he knows, then she will find a way to make it happen. She'll do whatever he asks of her and more to keep him. If she loses both of them...

As quick as the panic came, it is cut down by a sense of sensibility. Why would he leave after everything thus far? How is her sister living a life of her own leaving her? Nothing has bared her away from them. Why should she even think of such things? ]

I'm sorry... [ she speaks it against his lips and she presses her forehead to his. She knows that she is hardly grounded and is seemingly leaping from one emotion to another. It is a state unfair to saddle him with. Alkaid keeps her eyes closed tightly, nudging his nose with hers as she might always. ] I'm sorry, I...

[ A knock is at the door and another layer of reality seems to crash down on her. Alkaid stares at the bed beneath them, shoulders curled and her tail bristled at the sound. What is she even doing? Now is not the time to ask for intimacy or even peruse it. The steward saw to dinner and she's yet to apologize to them.

Alkaid closes her eyes and lowers her head to sit properly beside him again. She knows why she is so driven to seek his comfort: a sense of normalcy. Something that only they do for one another that is untouched by everything on the First. How could she even ask him for it after running away from their home? His family? Her hands rest in her lap, fingers twisting one another, ears pressing to the side of her head. How unbecoming she must seem... ]

I'm sorry... I shouldn't... I don't mean to be this way... I...

[ And now she plays a broken record, unable to truly express everything she wishes to. ]

[ Such is the way of war. Aymeric knows full well the toll that war can take and the cost that it requires. How many good men and women has he seen fall over the long years of the Dragonsong War? And as long as strife and fear remains, there will be more wars to come and more lives lost.

He hopes and prays that no harm will come to Alkaid and her sister, but his own experiences tell him that even the most fervent of prayers may not be enough to protect those he loves most. After all, he very nearly met an end himself, a thing that only confirms for him the fragility and uncertainty of life.

But even so, he is resolved to do what he can to offer her safety and what little protection he has to give, even should the cost to him personally be great. He would rather live out his days with her and grow old with her, but he would just as soon throw himself on the proverbial bomb than see her life end before its time.

As for her fears and worries concerning her changed appearance, he has only one thing that he could say to ease them. ]

Even if you were to leave for your next mission and returned with other changes to your appearance, however they were to occur, I would still see you as the most beautiful person alive on this star. Because you are, Lantaa, and not only because of the way you look.

[ And if she cannot see herself in that light, then he shall have to continue to tell her that in his eyes, she is nothing less than the finest woman he has laid eyes on, both inside and out.

As for K'thisru, if she were here, she would be quick to pull her sister into a hug and tell her that she will always need her big sister, no matter how much she grows up. Even though she now has someone at her side to share in adventures and travel with, nothing will replace the times they spent together in each other's company. She is her sister and she loves her more than she can ever hope to say, and that will never change. ]

Lantaa, you have nothing to be sorry for. You never have.

[ In the seconds before the knock sounds on the door, Aymeric's hands move to lightly grip Alkaid's shoulders, and he does his best to lock eyes with her. He loves her in the moments when she is whole and happy and he loves her still in these times where it seems that she is falling apart. His resolve to comfort her and help her put the broken pieces back together has never wavered, not even once. ]

I love you, and I know that I always will.

[ And having said that, he turns to that he might face her and wrap his arms around her frame, if she allows him to. The steward may very well enter soon, having seen to their dinner, but Aymeric does not mind if he witnesses this moment between them.

He means to pull her in closer, to let her head rest upon his chest or his shoulder or wherever she lands, and to give her all the comfort and love that he can pour into his embrace. ]

I am right here, and I promise not to leave you. [ He knows he would fight anyone who tried to separate them now, and even if they were to succeed, he would fight with everything that he has to return to her. ]

[ She would not stand for him to offer his life in place of hers. While she too would take any manner of wound or hurt for him? She refuses to allow either one of them to die now. Once they have grown old, and have spent a lifetime together. The very idea of losing him now...

Her gaze lifts to his once more, water filling her eyes. It is not that he says she is beautiful inside or out, for that part has never truly mattered much to her. It is the fact that he still sees her as her. She bites down on her lip and raises a hand to brush the tears away from her face. That truly was what she had feared: he being unable to see her through all that her adventures might do to her person.

She does wish her sister might be here to hold, even for a brief moment. Though that is an entirely selfish notion. She is the one that needs the comfort and reassurances, not K'thisru.

Alkaid melts into his hold with little direction. Her head rests between his neck and shoulder, eyes closed, a few more tears finding their way down her face. Part of her does not understand why she is acting the way she is. The rational side moves to point out everything that is true in what he says and that Aymeric would not lie to her; not about this. So then, why is it, she feels that all of her is falling apart? She has seen war and death... so why...

The door creaks open and the steward indeed does step inside. Alkaid spares him a glance wrapped in apologies before turning her face into his neck once more. She does not focus on the conversation he and Aymeric have. Instead, her attention goes entirely into listening to the sound of Aymeric's voice and his breathing. ]

[ To grow old with her is something he desires very much, but he is keenly aware of how dangerous her life is and how there are threats at nearly every turn. He would give his life for hers because she deserves the chance to live. But a part of him knows that she might find a life without him difficult, if not impossible. He does not mean to sound self-absorbed by having that thought; far from it. He has every confidence that she could find the strength to continue on without him, but could he knowingly put her through that kind of pain?

Even as he exchanges words with the steward, offering his thanks for his help as always, and quietly indicating that he may not venture from this room again until morning, simply because Alkaid has need of him and he is reluctant to be parted from her. Naturally, the steward nods with understanding, and is quick to reassure Aymeric that he will see to any tasks that remain and that he is not to worry. There are no pressing matters concerning the house that require Aymeric's attention, and if any arise, they can certainly wait.

They share a few more words, and the steward points out the covered bowls containing a warm soup, a fresh loaf of bread, a teapot filled with tea and the teacups to go along with it, and beside all of this, a small cake that was specially made for the two of them. From what the steward says, the head maid hoped that the tea and cake would lift Alkaid's spirits and let her know that she is so very, very loved.

Shortly after this, the steward offers a brief bow to Aymeric and then takes his leave. Aymeric remains quiet at first, one hand moving to lightly stroke one of Alkaid's ears, waiting to see what she wishes to do now. If all she wants to do is rest with him, then that is enough for him. ]

[ The very notion that she might continue on this star without him is not one to even be considered in her mind. She would go to the very ends of creation and fight whatever she must if it meant keeping him alive and at her side. Oh, she very well could continue on without him, but it would hardly be her. She would move forward as some form of Alkaid Mercedes, but as Lantaa? No, that she very much doubts.

She wishes to speak with Aymeric as they might normally. There are so many things to tell him of about the First. The people, the places, the differences between the worlds while still being the same. How the Scions fair, and why K'thisru has elected to stay behind on the First for now. Yet, all those words seem liked away in her mind, unable to spring forward, as they would most certainly bring the memories of sin eaters and Light wardens with them as well. Instead, all she wishes to do is lean into him and be one with him again; to be able to think only of one another and their lives together.

However, such things must wait, as it would be rude to not eat or drink of what was brought for her.

She shifts against him, head tilting down to look at the food brought to them. Her ears still remain in a way that he can continue to stroke them. The small notion causes her eyes to close again and her tail to sway slightly. He is far more skilled at comforting her than perhaps he realizes. ]

We should finish taking off your armor. [ Alkaid still speaks in soft tones. Her eyes move back to his to seek his thoughts on the matter. ] Why are you wearing it...? Has something happened while I've been away?

[ No doubt it is simply habit for him. Even though there is no need to wear it within Ishgard or even as the Lord Speaker. ]

[ Well then, it would seem as though any who intend to separate the two of them will find themselves facing quite the fight indeed, because neither of them seem to be inclined to let the other go so easily.

As for what he desires, he merely wishes to be close to her, and if she should happen to tell him about the First and what she experienced there, he would listen with rapt attention. And, yes, of course he wonders what became of the Scions and what her sister is presently doing. His interest in the Scions is twofold: one, because Alkaid is a Scion herself, and two, because as an Alliance leader, he ought to be aware of their movements and their well-being. But yes, all of this can wait for the moment.

He intends to see her well-fed and cared for, and thus, that is where his priorities lie. ]

Ah, yes. I have been told that it seems strange for the Lord Speaker to be armored in such a way, and yet... It is something of an old habit, I suppose. Thankfully, nothing has occurred that would require me to take up arms once more, just someone who is a bit stuck in his ways.

[ He cannot help the halfway amused smile that crosses his face then, because if he might be bold enough to say so, there are others within Ishgard and without who are more stuck in their ways than him. ]

[ A gentle smile takes her face then. Old habits? He truly is a soldier and knight deep in his heart, regardless of the titles or positions that may change around him. Her shaking fingers reach out to rest on his hands even as her head tilts towards him. The fact that all remains as well as it can in Ishgard means more than he might think. ]

"Old habits" for the most forward moving man in all of Ishgard. [ Alkaid leans forward and gently nudges his chin with her nose. ] You have no idea what a relief it is to hear that all is well at home...

[ At those words, his reaction is immediate. His head tips forward just slightly and the barest hint of red appears on his neck. He does not believe that he is any better or even more forward-thinking than any other man or woman in Ishgard, and perhaps his thoughts concerning his own people are in poor taste. ]

I do not think that designation belongs only to me. [ He has led several charges towards change and adapting, but he would not call himself anything in such certain terms. ] Others have longed to move forward as well but lacked the impetus to do so; all I did was provide an example for them to follow.

[ And he truly does not believe that he has done more than anyone else. But returning to the matter at hand, he merely inclines his head in agreement with her statement. ]

For the time being, fortune is with us, as all continues to be well within our borders. I hope that this will continue so that we might also continue reforging alliances and partnerships with the other city-states.

[ The smile on her face spreads just a bit more at his embarrassment. While he may not be the most forward thinking, he certainly made the way for those who are to walk. However, she has learned that he very simply sees his acts as his duty and therefore nothing special. Aymeric de Borel, in her eyes, is one of the brightest souls on their star. While she and K'thisru very may well inspire others? He is one that gathers others around him to lead forward. ]

Sometimes an example is all we need. [ Her tail gently sways under her white robes as if to illustrate how much she needs him. ] What of with Hraesvalgr's brood, and the other dragons? How are things with the allies closer to home?

Indeed, and if I might say so, there is one such example in this room with me. [ His smile is wide and fond as his gaze settles upon her. ]

Ah, Hraesvelgr. I must admit that I hold both him and his children in high regard. I must make time for another visit with Vidofnir, at the very least, so that I might inquire into her well-being and that of Hraesvelgr as well. Relations with our closest allies remain favorable.

I do not take our position within the Eorzean Alliance lightly, but I find that I do enjoy lending our support and assistance when it is required. With how long Ishgard has been closed off from the rest of Eorzea, it is high time, of course, but I find the company to be had within the Alliance to be an added benefit as well.

[ A deep blush comes to her cheeks and she glances to the side, ears bent, tail flicking lightly. Alkaid has never seen herself as much of an example. Oh, she is very aware that those around her do. She understands their reasoning and simply does not see it all the time. Especially in this moment. A Warrior of Light should not break as she has. They are heroes... ]

I can go with you if you'd like! [ Her answer is rushed and almost pleading, hands immediately going to the fabric on his leg between his armor. ] Although, I doubt you'd need me to see an audience with Vidofnir now...

[ Alkaid closes her eyes before attempting to push the emotions down once more. Then, she turns to finally address the food that has been brought for the pair of them. Her shaking hands reach out to take one of the bowls. ]

[ His eyebrows lift, first in response to the blush that takes her cheeks and then again because of the quickness of her response. The way she latches onto the fabric between his armor also surprises him. ]

I can think of no one else who I would rather have accompany me. And it is not difficult for me to conceive that Vidofnir would be glad to see you as well.

[ He watches as she reaches for one of the bowls that have been brought for them, and his expression shifts to one of concern as he notes the way her hands shake. ]

Lantaa, are you certain that all is well? If something is amiss, I would hear of it.

[ There is considerable effort placed into her hands in order to steady the bowl in her lap. They still shake, but the concentration has caused her body to tense. It almost feels as if she must will herself to make the motions when all of her feels numb. She inhales sharply, glancing up at him through her light pink bangs.

The thought comes to mind once again that she was helping remove his armor. It feels as if she cannot focus on one thing. If she lingers, vivid images may return, and her body shakes at the thought. But, she cannot simply go from task to task unfinished. That truly is a sign of her being unwell. Alkaid swallow before lowering her head. ]

N-no. It's not. [ Alkaid shuts her eyes to keep the memories of sounds and images at bay. ] I... it... the First is saved... b-but it was a dying world. F-far beyond what the Seventh Umbral Calamity did to our world, here, the Source. It...

[ Her throat closes around the words again and a pitiful sound escapes her. One that says she is frustrated she cannot speak, but is also afraid to relive all that she had seen. She had become a monster, despite the reassurances of all those around her. Ardbert had been the only one to be honest with her and K'thisru.

I'm not a monster. Thisru isnt a monster. We're heroes. ]

... I was so terrified... h-horrified... all those people and...

[ Try as she might, she cannot force the words to come forward.]

Edited 2022-05-29 09:32 (UTC)

[ His reaction upon seeing how her hands shake is immediate. He reaches for her with both of his hands, wrapping them around hers and the bowl she holds as well. His grip is firm but still gentle, as is the look in his eyes as he surveys her, his beloved. All he wishes is to do what he can to make her well again, to assist her along that path, but a part of him wonders if he is even equipped to do such a thing.

Still, nothing else matters to him except for seeing her whole and happy once more, and he intends to put in every effort to doing just that. ]

You saved the First, you and your sister. It- Perhaps I ought not to speak about its future, but knowing what the two of you are capable of, I am certain that the people who call the First home will recover and thrive thanks to your efforts.

Now it is your turn to rest, recover, and heal.

[ He is not privy to the thoughts that turn in her mind, but it does not take a genius to see how shaken she is and scarred by what happened to her on the First.

He feels as though any words of comfort he could give might sound woefully trite, regardless of his convictions behind them, and so he opts for a different tactic. ]

Whatever it is that continues to hurt you, you do not have to shoulder alone. I am right here, Lantaa. [ He moves his hands from where he wrapped them around hers and wraps his arms around her smaller frame, pulling her in and holding her close. ]

[ A gentle "thank you" comes from her as his hands wrap around hers. The bowl steadies. She nods along with his statements. Yes, they certainly will, especially as her sister remains on the First. No doubt that whatever Urianger and Ryne are up to will be a task her sister sets her mind to. As for Alkaid? All she wishes to do is be at the side of her betrothed and tend to the hurts of the city that has taken her in.

Her gaze asks if he might help her with those burdens and needing to be healed. He answers it, as he would, and her ears lower. A look of relief passes her face and she seemingly deflates in place. She attempts to stop holding herself to be well and fine, letting the exhaustion, hurt, and trauma all rest on her body and face. It would normally only be like this when she is alone, but their room is not the one she shares with her sister. It is their place, and he has asked before that she hide nothing from him.

If only the words would come. ]

I... only want to be here. With you. [ She leans into his hold more, mindful of the food in her lap. ] I fought so hard to come home to you...

Then here is where you shall remain. [ There is nowhere else that he would rather be than right here, even if there is not very much that he can do except to hold her and offer what words of comfort and reassurance that he can. ] You are home. You have made it home, and I mean to see to it that- [ He cannot make promises stating that she will never have to leave again, because that is not up to him to decide. And so he changes tactics. ]

I mean to see to it that I, as well as your home, will always be here for you whenever your path leads you here once more.

Now... [ He eyes the bowl of food that she still holds. ] Would you like to finish eating, or shall we retire? [ If she still feels the need to eat, of course he will not stop her. His desire to lie down with her and hold and comfort her is strong, but ensuring that she has had her other needs met first is of greater importance. ]

[ Her gaze raises at his words. It softens, for his words act as a confirmation to what had happened. She is home, they saved the First, and now she should rest. Tears gather in her eyes, but she straightens her shoulders to keep them from falling. Relief is written over her expression. Even so, she has cried far too much already, and she finds herself more exhausted from that then all else at the moment.

She wishes her path would lead her nowhere else. She is exhausted, broken, and heavy hearted. K'thisru and her have saved two worlds--why can they not stop now? Surely the world can handle its own affairs with the Ascians plots fooled...

Her gaze drops to her food once he mentions it. ]

We should eat... [ She nods slowly as if to confirm the idea to herself out loud. The staff prepared such a fine meal after all. ] Then. I'll help with the rest of your armor...

[ And she will see to her own white robes after that. ]

[ If it was in his power to see to it that no one bothered her with orders or with requests from people needing her assistance, he would do so without a second's hesitation. It is all too clear to him that she needs to rest, and what is more, she has earned a rest, a very long one.

Perhaps he might use what influence he has to give her a reprieve, knowing that it could never be long enough, but even a short one is better than none at all. ]

Yes, of course. [ His smile returns, and it is as warm and gentle as always, especially when he is looking at her. ] To both things, but if you are too tired for the latter, I can manage on my own.

[ He might even insist on helping her with her own attire. ]

BOOK 3: TWO-TONED ECHOES

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