synthneon | echoes of truth | ❝ tales of loss and fire and flame. ❞

[ She would never ask him to serve her as a servant or someone lesser than her. He is her equal. He may see himself as unworthy, but in her mind? Aymeric is the one that shines the brightest out of any she has ever met on their star. He is the source of her strength and her inspiration. Without him, she doubts that she could achieve what she has, even spanning as far back as their time in the Dragonsong War.

Her eyes light up at his response. Her ears perk and her tail raises. A gleeful sound comes from her at his kiss. Both arms wrap around his neck and she rolls onto her back, pulling him along with her. Her nose nudges against the side of his. Alkaid practically beams up at him, tail all but wagging. Then, her gaze slips from a beam to a gentle smile.

She had feared they might never be able to be like this again. Which is why her hands cup his face. ]

I love you, Aymeric.

[ Oh, but he would gladly serve her whether she asked him to or not. He feels as though there is very little he can do that would truly benefit her, and the only thing he can give her is his love. He would give up anything for her, including his very life if it came down to it, but it goes without saying that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. And, naturally, when her path takes her so far away from him, there are little opportunities for him to protect her as he feels he must.

But when she is home or by his side wherever they are, he finds himself thinking of ways that he might serve her.

As for now, it does his heart good to see how her eyes light up and how she responds to him. He lets her pull him down without hesitation, although he is mindful of how he positions himself as she rolls onto her back. When her hands slide into place against his face, he smiles at her, the love in his eyes unmistakable. ]

And I love you, with everything that I have.

[ Alkaid's gaze softens suddenly. Her hands cup his face then, gaze unbreaking from his. The realization strikes that she had almost lost this. Not merely being awake with him in bed in the morning, but the gaze he meets hers with such intensity. She bites her lip and closes her eyes, pressing her nose to his as the sudden wave of emotions hits her intensely. ]

I missed you.

[ I missed this.

Despite her best efforts, a hint of fear creeps into her gaze. She had never once feared losing him before. There was always a security that he would be in Ishgard, or surrounded by those that could protect him. Even placed in the hands of those that could heal him if she could not. ]

[ A similar wave of emotions sweeps over him that he can no more control than push aside. If she missed him, then the depth of his own feelings of missing her must be equal to it. Because it seems to him that they are part of each other and cannot imagine being apart, nor do they wish to, regardless of how often they must.

But because of that, the times that they are together are even more special. ]

I- Well, I cannot promise to never be separated from you again, but so long as we are together, I promise to hold onto you as tightly as I can. And should a threat arise with the intent to pull us apart, I shall fight against it as best as I am able.

[ He did his best to do so when held under Thordan's thrall, but part of him still fears that it was not truly his best. ]

I wish only to be by your side, or at the very least, to be in your thoughts when our paths diverge.

There is being separated... then there is what happened... [ Her two-toned eyes close. ] You did fight, Aymeric. You fought so hard...

[ No blame or anger is in her gaze even as she speaks of it. Only love mixed with a fear of losing him when she thought he would be far safer than her and her sister on their travels. It is truly a realization of how naive she had been; believing all would be safe in Ishgard now that the War had concluded and that the Ascians had, for the most part, been taken care of. Aymeric now being a politician rather than a soldier is not a safer option; perhaps it puts him into even more danger...

Alkaid presses her nose to his once more in response. ]

You are in my thoughts. Always. Wherever I go, whatever I see and do, you are always there.

[ Then, she tilts her head to kiss him tenderly. ]

[ He still has a long way to go towards addressing his thoughts and feelings concerning his tempering, not to mention the fear he has that it might happen to him again. If it does, and if he retains any sense of self at all, he would just as soon ask Estinien for one final favor than remain in that state once more. But then again, there exists a cure for it now, and they have far more hope now because of it.

Still, the very thought of being enslaved again is more than he can bear to think about. Rather than answer her with words, his actions seem to do the talking insted; in spite of himself, his face falls even in the face of the love in Alkaid's own gaze. Naturally, he is aware that he cannot let fear control him, but he has yet to fully deal with his fears and find a way to move past them.

In time, however, he finds his voice once more. ]

I must admit that when your steps take you far from home, I find solace in what belongings you have left behind. The visual reminder of you- it bolsters my faith that you will return when your duties allow. And, of course, letters that you send when you are able are very precious to me as well.

[ When she kisses him, he is quick to lean into the kiss, and as always, when the two of them meet together in such an action, it is enough to send all of his churning thoughts and emotions away from him, at least for a time. Instead, all that fills his mind and heart is thoughts of love for her. ]

Edited 2022-07-07 22:06 (UTC)

[ Her gaze softens as his expression falls. Of course, why would he not be afraid? He was the one that was tempered. While it seems he cannot recall the exact memories of what he might have said or did? There is no doubt in her mind that he does not recall feelings, inclinations. Alkaid has already decided she will not ask or prod, and instead let him speak of it when and if he truly is ever ready to. Which is why, instead, she simply brushes her fingers along his cheekbones.

No doubt rests in her mind that Estinien would fulfill the promise between the pair of them. However, she cannot bear to think of it. Estinien would refuse to do the deed in front of the Scions. Even then, the thoughts and images her mind conjures are distressing enough. Nightmares already plague her of the potentiality of losing Aymeric to Black Rose, but, the idea of losing him to being tempered once more...

A breath catches in her throat and she wills herself not to let the water gathering in her eyes fall. ]

Then I will need to leave more things at home for you, and send you far more letters. [ Her tail hits the bed beneath them to vent the emotions she refuses to let out. ] I will always return home, no matter where my charges take me. You are home, Aymeric...

[ Then, she barely manages a smile. ] I only remove my engagement ring when I bathe. Otherwise, it is always with me. Not just to remind me that we will be together--but, because it is a gift from you. It's the only thing I have to look down at and feel you beside me when I'm so very far away.

[ Her thoughts, however, do not melt away as they might normally when they kiss. Her eyebrows knit together and she attempts to pull him closer. Alkaid has asked for very little in her life, and now all she can think is to ask that her love remains with her. That somehow, she will be able to put the mantle of Warrior of Light down, and join him at his side. All she asks of their patron goddesses, Hydaelyn, whoever might be listening that he be left for her.

The familiar feeling from the night before strikes her hard. Longing, loneliness, an hole inside her left from ancient times. It causes a familiar sound of distress to come forward, but she attempts to bury it by deepening their kiss. He could be pulled away at any moment--as they are still in Monument Tower with a mission to complete--and it only helps to strive the sudden vortex of emotions inside her.

Don't go where I can't--don't leave me alone here. ]

Edited (few more details) 2022-07-08 09:41 (UTC)

[ There is so much he has not talked about or even thought about, and he knows full well that he cannot keep pushing aside the things he needs to process. It seems to him that there is no good time for it, and that is the main reason he has yet to even start. What else troubles him about beginning to sort through his thoughts on the matter is that he does not wish to burden Alkaid with more than he already has. He knows he has placed more than enough upon her, and considering how she already has her own troubles, the last thing he intends to do is give her more.

His eyes slide closed as her fingers brush along his cheekbones, and he tries desperately to regain some of his usual control and poise. He is not blind to her emotions or to how it seems she is close to tears. He shakes his head once. ]

I would not ask you to nor expect you to simply because I have developed this habit. However, if you desire to send letters as you are able, I can accept that.

[ He will not have her inconveniencing herself by leaving her belongings behind for his benefit. ]

Perhaps it is I who should gift to you more of my belongings so that you have something else to look upon when we are far apart. Anything that I own is, by my reckoning, yours, so if there is anything that you desire to have- by all means, take it.

[ So far as he is concerned, what he once thought of as his possessions now are theirs, and nothing is off-limits for her in his mind.

When they join together in a kiss, he not only deepens it, but he does not pull away from her even when many minutes have passed. Perhaps he sensees that she needs this: their closeness and the opportunity to feel each other: to know that they are together and for the moment, nothing shall separate them.

Duty and responsibility will surely surface again, and quicker than they would like, but until then, he intends to kiss the woman he loves. ]

[ The look in her eyes expresses that her mind is already decided on the matter. Even if they are simply flowers, or a blanket or scarf made for him to wear that mind remind him of her presence? Then, she will see to it. He is the one who must wait in silence and hope that she will return. In her mind, he is the one who needs the support while she is away and cannot give it herself. ]

The others may take to me sleeping in one of your shirts as something odd, given how large they are on me. [ She forces a smile in an attempt to make light of their situation. ] I would rather you at my side... but if I cannot have that, then I shall have to find something from home.

[ Her rational side, as always, attempts to tell her that the reaction she has is uncalled for and ridiculous. Aymeric is here and with her, no longer tempered, and she is not a world away. She shifts under him, her fingers moving from cradling his face to wrapping her arms around his neck. The tips of them move along the edges of his hair and down his neck, slipping under the neckline of his shirt.

She thought that he might pull away and attempt to turn things to duty or their mission. Yet, he continues, and a pleased sound comes from her. ]

As I said, anything of mine that you desire is already yours, whether that be an article of clothing or something else entirely. I would just as soon accompany you myself so that you did not have to resort to such things, but alas, that is something I cannot commit to regardless of how much I desire it.

[ They both know that there is no immediate fix for that particular detail. He still has responsibilities he must perform, and of course, so does she, so for the moment, they will have to content themselves with the other's belongings.

Rather than continue to dwell upon a topic that has no clear remedy, he chooses instead to focus on giving her all the love that he can. And that, of course, means kisses and touches, two things that they do very well. A satisfied moan leaves him when her fingers find their way below his shirt.

When they both have to come up for air, he adds: ] Would that our moments together could be more than just moments, but a regular occurrence.

[ Ah. Well, it seems as though he has brought them back to the topic of how they must be separated by their duties, even if it is only idle musings on his part. He looks forward to the day when they do not have such a separation looming over them. ]

[ No verbal answer is given to his statement. Instead, her gaze merely softens with a frown on her lips. There is little they can do to change their current situation, and that fact alone continues to eat at her heart. If only the Scions would relenquish her so she might live the life she wishes.

His reaction causes her expression to change. The sound tugs at her heart, causing the desire to give him more reasons to react in such ways. The fact that they are holed away in an obscure place in Corethas is meaning very little to her as she tries to catch her breath from their kiss. ]

Then, we should find ways to make it so.

[ Of course that is rather impossible, but Alkaid finds she would rather not focus on the impossible at the moment. In fact, she'd rather focus on him. She gently nudges his nose with hers before placing a kidd to his jaw and front of his neck. Her hand slips further underneath his shirt, fingers trailing over the lighter scars on his back.

Of course, he could always stop her if he wishes. ]

[ So much of their present situation eats at his heart to the point that he would step down from his position simply so they could be together. He already knows that he would put all of it aside without a second of hesitation because he wishes for nothing more than to be by her side with nothing coming in between them. Even if all he did was remain at the manor and see to its day to day affairs while he waited for her to return from her various duties instead of overseeing meetings and procedures, he would. ]

Ah, if only it were that simple. Alas, that it is not. [ Nothing in life is, as they have both learned, but he knows full well that anything worth having is also worth fighting for and making sacrifices for. He would give up just about everything he has to have a life with her.

As for stopping her, he would never do such a thing. He misses her touch when she is away, and when she has returned, he longs for the closeness that they share now. And although he has said it many times already, the words slip out once more: ]

Lantaa, I love you.

I know.

[ Still, she hopes that one day, it may be that simple. Maybe there will be a day where she is not needed as a Warrior of Light, Hydaelyn's Champion. That she can travel simply because she wishes to with him at her side. They can see all the star might have to offer as a simple traveling couple time to time before returning to Ishgard and him tending to his people. She does not find it a demanding or selfish dream, merely a simple one.

No matter how many times he may say the words? They always cause her heart to flutter. Perhaps she says it too much with her affectionate names for him. Perhaps they undermine the emotions she attempts to express to him. She always feels as if she falls short of saying the depth in which she feels them. Her small touches and kisses may even fail to truly say to him how much he means to her. ]

And I love you, Aymeric de Borel.

[ She nuzzles the spot in which his neck and shoulder meet before pressing a kiss to his skin. They have spent much time together in the last weeks, but he was truly not himself. Some part of him remained through the battle and fight with the primal's influence. Yet, at the heart of it, she knows that the primal truly struck at something Aymeric must long for. Alkaid is under no illusion that her love can truly heal or cover the damage that the Archbishop inflicted upon his son; from abandonment to betrayal. She merely hopes she may make the wound easier to bear, as he helps bear the ones that Emet-Selch gave her.

Her eyes flick towards the door to make certain that no one is shifting about it. Then, her head tilts and she turns to placing kisses up the side of his neck, then back down to where his neck and shoulder meet. While she has missed him? Part of her strives to make certain that the God-King primal has not damaged Aymeric nor their relationship to the point where they cannot share any form of intimacy together. ]

Is there anything I can do for you?

[ In Aymeric's mind, that is his deepest wish, that one day, the two of them will finally be able to be themselves: not the Warrior of Light and not Ishgard's Lord Speaker. He is well aware that both of them will retain the love they have for their star, and he knows without a doubt that it is impossible for him to lose his love he has for his homeland. But one day, he wishes that they can simply be who they are, with no titles or duties to see them separated.

And, as far as her feelings for him, he also knows without a doubt that she loves him. She does not need to say it or do anything to show it; he simply knows that she does. But when she does say it, and when she nuzzles against him, he is quick to lean into the touch and to pull her in even closer. There is a part of him that is still raw and hurt from everything that transpired, and he wonders if that will lessen with time.

If it does not, at least he has Alkaid by his side to offer what comfort she can. He waits for a moment as she pauses, but when she begins to plant kisses on his neck and further down as well, he finds himself going slack in her hold. The love she has for him still astonishes him every day, and of course, he is so very grateful for it. It does leave him feeling rather weak at the knees, or so the saying goes.

The primal has done his share of damage, but one thing that has not been destroyed is their ability to be together and to share in those moments of intimacy together. ]

Nay, you have already done so much for me, Lantaa. [ And what he still needs to do, he hesitates to place upon her, even though he is aware she would gladly take on any and all of the things that still burden him. But as he previously thought, he will begin the process of coming to grips with his tempering and the hurt that the primal inflicted when the time is right. He does not wish to bring either of them down with the gravity of that process. ] Simply being with me is enough.

[ She moves with his pull, seeking to be as close to him as she can. The pair of them soldier on quite well despite the fact she knows they are both still nursing wounds from his enthrallment. He no doubt still struggles to understand what transpired and happened, but Alkaid has no desire to give him the details of what was said or done. She will answer any questions he asks. But... she does not want him to hurt more, and worse, pull away from her because of it. She almost lost him entirely to King Thordan... which would have further meant losing him to Estinien's Lance.

The thought comes and she flinches as if she had been struck. Her face buries in his neck for but a moment until she kisses below his ear. As ridiculous as it might sound? She feels as if she cannot lose him. She does not wish to spend the rest of this lifetime without him only to return to the aetheric sea and wait to find him once more. The thoughts seem to throw a switch in her mind and she finds herself even more determined to keep him with her.

She places a kiss to her jaw before beginning to leave open mouth kisses to the side of his neck. Her hand pulls back from his shirt in order to move down his back. It works with the other to settle on his hips and then until his shirt. A part of her scolds her, for surely Aymeric will tell her to stop given their situation and remind her this is neither the time nor the place. However, the voice is not enough to stop her. ]

Being with you in what way, my love? [ Alkaid knows what he means, yet she tries to make their situation light hearted regardless. ] How would you have me?

[ Something inside him simply aches with a longing for her closeness and her love, but there is something else that also aches with the knowledge that there are gaps in his memory. Perhaps it is best that he not recall what happened, and he certainly should not ask those who witnessed it to recount it for him. He also does not wish to hurt more nor to cause hurt to others, but there is a part of him that needs to know. And yet when the thought of asking for help filling in those missing parts of his memories comes to him, he hesitates.

It would not only hurt him, but it would bring hurt to those he cares about, and so he knows he cannot do that. He has not missed the way that Alkaid reacts when certain thoughts seem to enter her mind, and while he cannot read her mind, in such moments, the look that he sees on her face is reminder that he ought not cause her hurt as well, even if she is not recalling his tempering.

He is quick to circle his arm around her, hoping that his touch is comforting as well. He would hold onto her with everything that he has in hopes that they might remain together in this lifetime and beyond.

As always, her kisses and her touches upon his back elicit a pleasure reaction from him. When she slides her hands beneath his shirt, he all but goes slack in her hold. How easily she can render him truly relaxed and unresisting. She could do anything to him in those moments and he would not fight nor protest.

She asks those questions, and the answer is on the tip of his tongue: lie next to me and hold me. But even as he thinks those words in his mind, they sound so very selfish. A part of him still fears that she will come to despise him because of his needs, and so he remains silent rather than answer.

But even though he has yet to answer her with words, his fingers curl and tighten around her, as if to say he has no intentions of letting her go or of pulling away. ]

[ As she waits for his answer, there is a thought that perhaps he does not wish to engage in intimacy so deeply at the moment. Perhaps it has nothing to do with where they are or what mission they might have. It may deal with more that he simply does not wish it--nor need it. She is the one that tends to seek such things, and perhaps that is due to her Miqo'te tendencies. The thoughts make her pause, lifting her head from his neck. The part of her that scolds her seems to win, especially more as his fingers curl around her and Alkaid feels as if she has his answer.

Her head tilts up to rest against his. Her arms wrap around his lower back to pull him closer. If he simply wishes to be held? She can most certainly do such a thing. Far too often has Aymeric indulged her. The least she might do is tend to his wishes and place them above her own. At least now he is responsive and himself, as opposed to the husk that the primal attempted to make him. Her hands then rest against his skin and her eyes close.

What should she say--if anything? Would he prefer the comfortable silence instead? Alkaid feels as if she might know what he wishes or needs often, but, now it seems so very hard to tell. Most certainly that is due to the fact she struggles with her own hurt from this endeavor. Alkaid tilts her head to press her nose to the side of his and falls quiet. ]

[ In all truth, he would be beyond glad to simply be with her in whatever way she decided, whether that was engaging in acts of intimacy or simply lying beside one another or holding onto one another. He is content to have her there with him, and while she might see it as him indulging her, his wishes are simple. He is happiest when she is present, and he considers himself both honored and blessed that she would even think of being intimate with him.

But even with all of that, his desires in this moment are clear to him. He only wishes to be held by her, and to continue sharing their feeling with each other, with words or without them.

Before the silence settles thoroughly upon them both, Aymeric finds his voice once more. ]

Tell me what you are thinking or feeling right now. [ It is said quietly, so as to seem like a request and not an order. Perhaps it is more of a wish that she share her thoughts with him, even though a part of him thinks that she might wish to keep those to herself. If that is the case, he will not push, of course, but he decides to make the request and then go from there. ]

[ Alkaid simply holds him, even once his request has been made. Her hands are still with her head remaining resting against his. What is she thinking or feeling? Perhaps he would not wish to know if he knew the self doubts and worries swirling in her mind; especially after he has said he does not wish her to hold back. Yet, she feels as if she ought to. She is unsure if it is her or simply how Miqo'te are... and if it is her nature...

Her eyes drift to the side as a small frown takes her face. Her ears lower to her head. ]

I... [ Her lips press together for a moment. Perhaps it is best if she does not share it. She does not wish him to feel as if he is inadequate simply because she is the one who has the urges. He has done enough--more than enough. ] I've missed you.

I feared that even once you were cured, you would find it best if we parted ways... with everything that had happened...

[ Which is not wrong nor entirely far from the mark. They are concerns and thoughts she has had, and has feared, but they are not the immediate thoughts she has had in this exact moment. ]

Edited 2022-07-20 09:44 (UTC)

[ He just relaxes in her hold as if finally granting himself permission to simply rest there while continuing to speak with her and try to determine from her word and actions both what she is feeling. It is not even that he cannot read her, but he sincerely longs to know how he might aid her with whatever it is that is troubling her. He does not need to be told that his tempering left wounds upon her, because it is plain to see, but a part of him believes that if she speaks of it, it may help.

He shifts slightly so that he might reach out to lightly stroke one of her ears that has folded against her head. There is a part of him that wonders if the gesture is comforting to her, or if it is merely something he does to comfort himself.

At her words, he pauses for a moment, because he also feared that she would say the same: that she had determined it was time for their paths to diverge. At that thought, he finds himself shaking his head. ]

I would never leave you nor ask that we part ways. I feared that you would wish to leave, but even if you did... I would have no choice but to follow after you.

[ He knows now that he is drawn to her and needs her, and if she did leave, he would not feel complete without her. ]

But I sense that there is more that troubles you, so please, continue speaking. I will listen and not interrupt again.

[ There are a great many wounds that are on her tender feeling heart, but she hesitates in sharing them. She does not wish to cause him hurts that cannot be healed. He carries far too many already; he need not carry those that King Thordan inflicted on her. Plenty of other weights she carry can be given to him, shared with him, lifted with him at her side.

Her head tilts into his hand, ear gently easing into his touch. She does not quiet melt into his hold as she might normally, as she holds onto him. ]

Never. [ Her tail curls beside her. ] You are my one and only. If you would follow me, then I will stop and offer my hand to you. You belong at my side, not behind me.

Interrupt all you wish. [ Alkaid opens her eyes and looks to the ceiling. ] What else would you have me speak of?

[ He finds he does not have the words to impress upon her that he would share all of the wounds that rest on her heart, if not take on all of them so as to spare her from the hurt and the weight of them. He does carry quite a few, but by that reasoning, better that he take them on than to see her be brought down by them too. But of course, he cannot literally take on her burdens and her hurts, no matter how much he wishes to.

Although she does not melt into him, he gently and carefully pulls her closer so that what little space remains between them disappears. ]

And I would be at your side, of course, but I would also consider it an honor to even walk behind you, following your footsteps.

[ He has not said it in so many words, but he does consider himself her partner and her servant both. He wishes only to bring joy to her life through his actions, and serving her with acts of kindness and love is all he wishes to do for her. ]

Anything. Everything that troubles you and causes you to hurt. Allow me to share it and carry it, that it might bring you ease and comfort in return.

[ As always, Alkaid follows his direction and curls into his hold. Her eyes remain stubbornly on the ceiling above them. How she wishes she could express that it not need be an honor to be at her side. In her mind they are equals and as heroic as one another. she does not wish to lead and for him to follow, merely to walk through the rest of their lives at one side hand-in-hand. So many things seem to demand her to be far away from such a notion. Yet, from the bottom of her heart and her very soul, all she wishes is to be at his side.

She wonders if something had prevented them from achieving such a thing in their ancient lives; for surely that must be the reason she feels such the drive and need for it. Perhaps it was the Final Days, or perhaps it was something else. Had they been separated and left to try and find one another again and again in all their lives? Had they ever managed it? Or, was this the first life in eons in which they have been able to be like this? She would ask his thoughts, but, holds back as well. What awaits them outside the door to their temporary quarters is surely to bring reality and their spirits down. There is no need to trouble him with the musing of their ancient states.

I'm not so different from all of you... I'm mortal. Yet, everyone wishes to have us lead the way...

Truly, she does not know where to begin. All she knows are the things she does not wish to hurt him with. Something tells her she should not ask what she is about to, yet, she does simply because he wishes her to share s omething of her thoughts. ]

...would you truly have wanted me at your side if you were so devout to Ishgard and your father?

[ Alkaid instantly regrets the question leaving her lips. She already knows he would not have wished to remain tempered; that he would wish Estinien or another to put him to the sword. She bites down on her lip as her ears fold entirely to her head once more, despite how he runs his fingers along them. She does not want to imagine the life she has now with him missing, even if the reality of the situation would dictate otherwise. He would not wish to be a thrall to what remains of his father's ideology, and nor should he be. Yet, the idea of an Ishgard, their room without him in it...

She knows that he--the true Aymeric--was fighting all along. She knows that he wished to be free of his enthrallment, and wished her to be at his side. But, part of her cannot help but wonder back to something he had said in the cells. ]

Would you have been able to truly love me... or would it have been a lie?

[ Throughout all the trials that they have been through, some together but most apart, he has found himself beginning to wonder one thing: can he truly aid her in her battles and her long journey? That journey began long before they ever met, and in his mind, it seems that said journey is continuing to stretch on whether they like it or not. He would see her journey end, to see her finally resting and having the life that she desires, but what can he do to ensure she has the ending she wishes? Not an end to everything, just a conclusion of this chapter in her life.

As she continues keeping her gaze fixed upon the ceiling, his worries which are already so many, only begin to grow. He fears losing himself once more, fears being tempered again, but more than that, he fears her traveling so far away from him that even his words and what comfort he would give cannot call her back. And it is not even travel of a physical nature that he speaks of; he fears that everything that weighs on her will pull her away to the point that even he cannot recall her.

Or perhaps worst of all, he will drive her away with his own frailties and shortcomings. But naturally, he voices none of this, keeping all of his worries and fears inside, because she does not need yet another burden placed on her shoulders.

He waits at her side for an answer, hands moving to comfort and attempt to reassure. When her question comes, his hands still and he freezes in place as he feels his heart contract as if something has taken hold of it. His words catch in his throat, but he pushes past that, because he must give her an answer. ]

I- [ Snapshots of memories are filtering into his mind, and he is desperately trying to hold onto them in order to recall something that seems so very elusive and quick to slide away from him. ] I would. I know that I would.

[ But would she remain? Would she wish to stay with him, knowing that her beloved was in thrall to another? Perhaps she merely wonders if he would love her as much if he were simply a loyal citizen of Ishgard who loves the city and the church as well, but within the context of recent events, he believes she is speaking more of his enthrallment and what he said and did while he was not himself.

Her next question comes, and again, he freezes. This time, a wave of guilt washes over him, and against his will, he feels his hands begin to shake. ]

Nay. [ As before, his answer is immediate. But even so, he knows that he cannot guarantee that what he might feel for her would not be a lie. All he knows is the depth of his love for her, and with that in mind, how could what he feels be anything but the absolute truth? ] Even if my will was not wholly my own, how could what I feel for you be anything but true? Perhaps it is hopelessly foolish of me, but I cannot help but believe that I would love you with my entire person, regardless of the circumstances.

[ She does not expect an answer, for surely she already knows it. His entire being, mind, heart and soul would have been devoted to King Thordan. What little of Aymeric might remain would perhaps not be enough to maintain the relationship they have. Not to mention the fact that the primal itself would refuse a Warrior of Light near its domain. Aymeric would most certainly have been trapped in an endless spiral as he had been.

Her breath catches in her throat at his answer. Yes, she would remain at his side. Even if that had been used by the Scions to get closer to the primal? She would remain at his side. While she does not wish them to be parted from one another without spending a full life of theirs together? Alkaid would also not wish to see him alone. Even if that means being there with no other option to let another slay him to end his enthrallment. She knows that he would not wish her to see it, but, she cannot fathom the idea of not being there as he passed on ahead of her.

A hand on his back begins to move up and down to soothe him. His need for it is clear and thus she intends to do all that she can to help--even if she is in need of the comfort herself. Certain things he was forced to do and say return to her mind then. Things she does not wish to repeat to him in fear of hurting his already frail self-esteem. ]

You asked me to stay... even if you were no longer the man I had fallen in love with. [ She pauses for a moment. ] I would of returned to Ishgard with you, been at your side, for as long as you would have me. I know it would not be the same... and your devotion would eventually be p ulled entirely towards Thordan, but... I...

[ Alkaid frowns and shuts her eyes then. Her fingers curl against the skin on his back. Her shoulders pull up, despite his weight on one of them, and her head tilts away from him. She dose not wish him to see the shame on her face for what she is about to say. He sees her as one with such strength--even after her and her sister returned from the First--but she cannot see it as such. ]

I could not leave you to suffer in enthrallment on her own. B-because... I-I could not grant the wish you would have of me, if they could not have found the cure in time. I... I am unable to be the one to end it, Aymeric... I will be there to see you to the atheric sea, but I... I... I'm sorry, but I could not...

[ I cannot be the one to end your life. ]

echoes of truth | ❝ tales of loss and fire and flame. ❞

BOOK 3.5: EVER HEAVENSWARD

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/how about this whambam to bring feels back

that sure is a whambam of feels