įŖITTįŖE į°Eįį°į©IįŖ " ŃιŃŃĪ· " | Ļāā ŃαāŃŃ ŃqĻ
αā. (
bubblesong) wrote in
synthneon2026-01-25 11:26 pm
š«§ :rewrite 2.0 || ā so let me go home, in our safehouse that we built out. ā
[ Floating isn't so bad.
It's easy... and it's nice.
It's just not weightless like it used to be.
Little Mermaid opens her eyes and stares at the ceiling of the pool room. It's not really a pool room. Not like the Avengers Tower has or even the open pool the Malibu Mansion had. It's more like a gymnasium pool. Goddess HQ isn't outfitted or luxurious like Avengers Tower. It's cold and militaristic, minus the Deputy Chief's Office (at his own insistence). Even her own room is very bare, only with a few bubble ornamentations that float.
Goddess HQ isn't a prison like the cell underneath Stark Industries.
It's just not home.
She lets out a long breath and leans her head back against the edge of the pool.
Floating used to be nicer--when she could swim.
It's not that bad--not like that! Her legs are healing, just, slowly. Something about how Abe had worked the Goddessium to make the second generation of Fairytale Models makes it hard for the people at Goddess HQ to figure out how to program it. Almost like a language they can't speak. No one can seem to figure it out properly, so everything to this point has been her body healing itself and some simple nudges here and there to tell the Goddessium how to repair things.
It's not quite like nanomachines, but it's close, is what they say.
Still, she can move her legs now! The bones are all repaired. The muscles are on their way too. Her legs flex and bend, but not by much, and walking still hurts. Not that it stops her. She has to get better as fast as she can so she can leave. She has to get back to the Avengers Tower--to Tony.
Even if that lonely dark part of her wonders if he's moved on.
Her gaze at the ceiling softens.
He's been to so many events that she had said she'd go with him, including MIT...
Creeaaak, click.
Little Mermaid turns her head to the direction of the pool room doors.
Deputy Chief Andersen walks towards the pool. He's dressed more casual than she's used to seeing. A bomber jacket, jeans, and even a white t-shirt. He still wears the heavy combat boots and they echo in the pool room as he reaches the edge. A pair of aviators hang off the collar of his shirt as he looks down at her. ]
"Feeling any better?"
[ Little Mermaid nods. ] Huh huh. They still hurt, but, I can move them better now! The water helps too. Uhm... did you go somewhere?
"I did." [ The Deputy Chief pauses as if calculating his next moves; his next words. Then: ] "You have a visitor, Ariel."
[ The pool room falls silent minus the lapping water.
The Deputy Chief only calls her 'Ariel' when there are no officials around--no eyes around. He only allows himself to say what she considers her real name when nothing pertains to the missions of the Goddess Squad. Red Hood calls her Ariel all the time, but the Deputy Chief? He only says her real name when he knows it's completely and entirely safe to say it.
A visitor...? ]
"Two, in fact. Although one is more my visitor, I suppose. An old war friend." [ The Deputy Chief glances at her legs. ] "Do you need help getting out of the pool?"
I'm okay. I got it.
[ Little Mermaid rolls over expertly in the pool. Her legs stay afloat thanks to the black bubbles underneath them, almost like floaties. Her hands curl along the edge of the pool to pull herself up out of it. Then, she sits at the edge for a moment. The black bubbles form around her legs and feet, pressing against her skin, almost like a swimsuit. Her hands then raise, and between them a black sparkling bubble forms. The bubble is pressed to her lips that begin to glow red, issuing a command to it: ]
Stand and move. No matter how much it hurts.
[ Then, she takes the black bubble and splits it into two. Each smaller bubble presses to her legs, creating a second layer that acts as padding. Once settled, her legs give an unusual jerk. She spins on her bottom, moving her legs onto the floor. Then, she pushes herself up. Her legs twitch in a very noticeable way before she lets out a deep breath and looks back up at her commander. ]
Okay. I'm ready.
[ Andersen frowns at the display before handing her the thin bathing robe she brought with her. He continues to frown as she takes it and slips it on. ] "That tic is very obvious, Ariel. Don't stand longer than you have to. In fact? I'd rather you not stand at all with your legs in that condition. Sit on one of your bubbles."
[ Little Mermaid frowns. ] They look like my regular suit! It'll be okay. They don't look like braces at all.
"Trust me, your visitor is going to see it even if you hide it." [ Andersen sighs. ] "I want this to be as informal as possible, Ariel. Don't make me issue it as a order from your commanding officer. You can keep your... bubble braces. Just, sit down."
Aoooh... [ A frustrated sigh leaves Little Mermaid before she raises her hands again. A large pink sparkling bubble forms and expands. It floats to the ground and then she comfortably takes her seat. ] Like thi--
[ Creaaaaaaak.
Andersen and Little Mermaid look over as the door to the pool room bursts open. ]
It's easy... and it's nice.
It's just not weightless like it used to be.
Little Mermaid opens her eyes and stares at the ceiling of the pool room. It's not really a pool room. Not like the Avengers Tower has or even the open pool the Malibu Mansion had. It's more like a gymnasium pool. Goddess HQ isn't outfitted or luxurious like Avengers Tower. It's cold and militaristic, minus the Deputy Chief's Office (at his own insistence). Even her own room is very bare, only with a few bubble ornamentations that float.
Goddess HQ isn't a prison like the cell underneath Stark Industries.
It's just not home.
She lets out a long breath and leans her head back against the edge of the pool.
Floating used to be nicer--when she could swim.
It's not that bad--not like that! Her legs are healing, just, slowly. Something about how Abe had worked the Goddessium to make the second generation of Fairytale Models makes it hard for the people at Goddess HQ to figure out how to program it. Almost like a language they can't speak. No one can seem to figure it out properly, so everything to this point has been her body healing itself and some simple nudges here and there to tell the Goddessium how to repair things.
It's not quite like nanomachines, but it's close, is what they say.
Still, she can move her legs now! The bones are all repaired. The muscles are on their way too. Her legs flex and bend, but not by much, and walking still hurts. Not that it stops her. She has to get better as fast as she can so she can leave. She has to get back to the Avengers Tower--to Tony.
Even if that lonely dark part of her wonders if he's moved on.
Her gaze at the ceiling softens.
He's been to so many events that she had said she'd go with him, including MIT...
Creeaaak, click.
Little Mermaid turns her head to the direction of the pool room doors.
Deputy Chief Andersen walks towards the pool. He's dressed more casual than she's used to seeing. A bomber jacket, jeans, and even a white t-shirt. He still wears the heavy combat boots and they echo in the pool room as he reaches the edge. A pair of aviators hang off the collar of his shirt as he looks down at her. ]
"Feeling any better?"
[ Little Mermaid nods. ] Huh huh. They still hurt, but, I can move them better now! The water helps too. Uhm... did you go somewhere?
"I did." [ The Deputy Chief pauses as if calculating his next moves; his next words. Then: ] "You have a visitor, Ariel."
[ The pool room falls silent minus the lapping water.
The Deputy Chief only calls her 'Ariel' when there are no officials around--no eyes around. He only allows himself to say what she considers her real name when nothing pertains to the missions of the Goddess Squad. Red Hood calls her Ariel all the time, but the Deputy Chief? He only says her real name when he knows it's completely and entirely safe to say it.
A visitor...? ]
"Two, in fact. Although one is more my visitor, I suppose. An old war friend." [ The Deputy Chief glances at her legs. ] "Do you need help getting out of the pool?"
I'm okay. I got it.
[ Little Mermaid rolls over expertly in the pool. Her legs stay afloat thanks to the black bubbles underneath them, almost like floaties. Her hands curl along the edge of the pool to pull herself up out of it. Then, she sits at the edge for a moment. The black bubbles form around her legs and feet, pressing against her skin, almost like a swimsuit. Her hands then raise, and between them a black sparkling bubble forms. The bubble is pressed to her lips that begin to glow red, issuing a command to it: ]
Stand and move. No matter how much it hurts.
[ Then, she takes the black bubble and splits it into two. Each smaller bubble presses to her legs, creating a second layer that acts as padding. Once settled, her legs give an unusual jerk. She spins on her bottom, moving her legs onto the floor. Then, she pushes herself up. Her legs twitch in a very noticeable way before she lets out a deep breath and looks back up at her commander. ]
Okay. I'm ready.
[ Andersen frowns at the display before handing her the thin bathing robe she brought with her. He continues to frown as she takes it and slips it on. ] "That tic is very obvious, Ariel. Don't stand longer than you have to. In fact? I'd rather you not stand at all with your legs in that condition. Sit on one of your bubbles."
[ Little Mermaid frowns. ] They look like my regular suit! It'll be okay. They don't look like braces at all.
"Trust me, your visitor is going to see it even if you hide it." [ Andersen sighs. ] "I want this to be as informal as possible, Ariel. Don't make me issue it as a order from your commanding officer. You can keep your... bubble braces. Just, sit down."
Aoooh... [ A frustrated sigh leaves Little Mermaid before she raises her hands again. A large pink sparkling bubble forms and expands. It floats to the ground and then she comfortably takes her seat. ] Like thi--
[ Creaaaaaaak.
Andersen and Little Mermaid look over as the door to the pool room bursts open. ]

no subject
Tony Stark stands in the doorway, jaw tight, a sheaf of x-rays crumpled in one hand. The films tremble from the force heās holding them with. He doesn't look as though he's even realized just how tightly he's holding them. Hopefully Andersen doesn't want them back in the same condition they were when he showed them to Tony.
His eyes are already locked on her: not curious, not polite, certain..
He strides into the room like he owns it, like the air is in his way and he intends to push through it. The echo of his shoes on tile keeps pace with the rapid beat in his head.
He doesnāt look at Andersen. He doesnāt look around. He looks at her and he lifts the x-rays. ]
You.
[ Itās not accusatory. Itās startled. Frustrated. Almost angry at the his brain for putting the pieces together when he was still just trying to figure out what the hell kind of situation he's dealing with.
He shakes the films once. ]
I know these. I know what's on them.
[ His voice is rough with something he hasnāt let himself feel yet.
He steps closer to the edge of the pool, close enough that he can see the faint tremor in her legs. Close enough that he can see the black bubbles hugging them almost like... like artificial muscle. That's the thought his mind settles on. His eyes drop there for half a second, and something in his expression tightens further.
Heās seen this before. He knows he has, but he just doesn't know why.
His eyes come back up to her face, searching, demanding an answer he's not sure he'll get. ]
Iāve been staring at these for- No, it doesn't matter how long, but they wouldnāt leave me alone. I kept thinking, 'Iāve seen this before.' Iāve looked at these bones before. Iāve...
I remember this, but I don't remember you. Why don't I remember you?
[ He pauses. ] I don't remember you, but my brain does. How the hell does that even work?
[ He taps his temple with the edge of the x-rays and glares at them. ] Iām really getting tired of my brain knowing things I donāt.
[ Steve takes this opportunity to peer in around the door, but he decides it's best if he just stays in the hallway for now until things have settled down. If they settle down. ]
no subject
Tony always knows how to announce himself.
Andersen watches Tony closely as he strides his way over to the pool edge. Protective, in a way. It's more than just being her commanding officer. He made a promise once and he intends to keep it. Little Mermaid falls under that promise as far as he's concerned, even if he had never met her until a few months ago.
He watches the tightness and shortness in how Tony talks. Angry. Frustrated. Maybe even trying to reach out and grasp something, but afraid it's going to disappear. Nothing that will be a threat. Not that Tony has done anything to address him. That's fine. Seeing that reaction? Andersen knows he made the right move.
The Deputy Chief quietly leaves the two in the pool room. He knows Little Mermaid hasn't noticed. The pairs eyes and gaze are fixed on each other like nothing else exists. He knows that look. He's seen it on a certain captain's face before... and even wore it himself at one point in time.
He closes the door behind them quietly before looking at Steve. A part of him can't believe that he is staring at the same man from the 1940s in 2016, unchanged. Then again, he's mostly unchanged himself. Some scars and a little older. ]
"They'll be fine." [ Andersen says it as if it's a fact of nature, the same as if gravity will pull an apple from a tree. ] "Besides, they're in their own world right now. They wouldn't realize even if we did say something to them."
[ Little Mermaid hasn't noticed Andersen has even left. As always, whenever Tony enters a room? Her attention and gaze fully fix on him. What he says, what he doesn't say out loud, what his body language communicates that no one else seems to understand.
Her mind had come up with so many scenarios on how she would react to their reunion. It was never a question of "if" in her mind simply when. None of them come close to what she's seeing in front of her. She feels stunned into silence, when she had thought it would be the opposite.
The tug-of-war between certainty and frustration. The almost anger that he seems to know something but it's out of reach. Tony hates when people hide things from him. Now, he must feel like his mind is hiding things. The intensity almost takes her back, but, it makes sense to her. She knows that expression in his eyes. No one noticed it when Ultron attacked them and shredded JARVIS to pieces except her.
Little Mermaid stands, despite the tics her legs give. The pink bubble she had sat on dissipates into hundreds of small ones at their feet--maybe she's learned how to be a little dramatic from him. Her hands raise, gently brushing along the sides of his face, before her arms wrap around his neck. Her head rests where his neck and shoulder meet.
There are plenty of words she can say; answers to give to his questions. Words are never best used with Tony. Everyone always says things to him without meaning--words and and more words without anything to prove them to him. So, she decides on just a few to say. ]
Tony. [ Ariel tries to put as much love, care, and trust into the small amount of words she's chosen. ] It's okay.
[ It's going to be okay. It's okay if he doesn't remmeber; they'll make new memories together. It's okay if she has to reintroduce herself to him. It's okay because he's her hero and found her once again to save her. It's okay because they're together. It's okay because her legs will heal. It's okay because even if all his teammates turn away from him due to Ultron? He has her in his corner. ]
no subject
He freezes, almost going just a hair shy of rigid. He's not angry, he's not pulling away or rejecting the touch. He's just guarded, maybe even a little afraid, not that he'd say that out loud.
His hands donāt come up to hold her. They stay exactly where they are at his sides, x-rays still clutched in one fist. His shoulders tense like heās bracing for something he canāt see yet.
Because this is the part where someone could be playing him. This is the part where a story could be fed to him. This is the part where he hates not knowing whatās real.
His jaw tightens even as he lets her hold him, but he doesn't lean into it, not in the way some instinct is telling him he should. He's done it before, his brain says. But he doesn't remember what his brain is saying he should.
Not yet, anyway... but then, if she's looking, something in his expression changes. It's not because of what she says, but from what she doesn't. She doesn't give an explanation, a history lesson of his own life, no attempt to convince him of anything.
All she gives him is just contact: contact that is both familiar and unfamiliar all at once. It's the kind of contact that his body recognizes before his mind does, and he doesn't know what to do with this information.
He holds his breath, and very slowly, cautiously, like heās testing whether a surface will give way under his weight, his hands come up and rest at her sides.
His voice is quieter when he speaks. ]
I donāt like this. I donāt like feeling that youāre this comfortable with me when I don't know how or why we got this comfortable. This close.
[ His eyes flick down briefly to the way her legs jerk, the bubbles bracing them. The sight of them pulls at something behind his eyes he canāt name. ]
And I really donāt like that my first instinct isnāt to push you away. I don't like that it's not even "not liking". It's- hell, it's not remembering. Not remembering what I apparently should still remember.
[ He looks closer at her, trying to examine her face. ]
... Do I still hate being handed things?
[ He pauses then, for longer this time. Then an admission comes, almost reluctantly. ] Something is telling me this is real, and if it's real... That means...
[ He glares at his hands, as if it's their fault he can't remember. Maybe it is, in a way. He built Ultron, didn't he? ]
That means, if itās real, then I lost something important. [ Those last words are mumbled more than spoken, as if part of him doesn't want her hearing. But another part, a louder part, does want her to hear. ]
no subject
Except... he never really does relax.
Little Mermaid watches him intently, trying to pick up on anything that might help her navigate the situation. Of course things wouldn't resolve magically or as if it was a fairytale. This is real life. Tony's her prince, but he's a man of mathematics, science, engineering. He isn't going to lean into the idea of people being meant for one another just like that. He will need information and data.
As he said... he doesn't like how comfortable she is with him but he can't remember why it's that way. ]
Aoou... [ the sound softly comes from her in understanding. Acceptance to some level. ] I'm sorry for assuming it would be fine to...
[ She straightens then, hands removing themselves from around his neck. She stays close as his hands are on her sides. A small smile tugs at her face at his small joke. Yes, she figures Tony still hates being handed things.
One hand raises to hover over his with the x-rays. Not too close where she is touching him, but close enough that he could reach if he desired. It's his choice. ]
Yes, that's me. [ Finger spread to brush against the damaged x-ray. ] Those are my legs. I think the x-ray is a little old now, but... it's me.
[ She pauses to weigh her next words. ] Yes, it's real. It is very real... as long as you want it to be. If it's too much or too overwhelming? I understand. I'll go slower. Okay?
[ Fingers brush along the x-ray one more time before she lifts it to rest against her core. She won't touch the arc reactor. Not until he feels more open about her touching him. Still, she hasn't moved or made any adjustment to move away. ]
My name is Little Mermaid. Everyone usually calls me 'Siren'... except you. You named me 'Ariel.' [ A smile forms on her face at the name, if only a little reserved to not come on so strong. It's clear she adores the name--considers it her real name.] I'm a Nikke. It's why things look the way they do on my x-rays. We were human girls once, but, were converted into a Nikke. We were supposed to be the new line of super soldiers after Captain America.
[ She does her best not to tell him how he should feel or think regarding any of it. ]
Deputy Chief Andersen told me that Ultron... he hit all of the Avengers... and that memories were taken away, but it was different for each of you. [ Little Mermaid forces a smile even if the pain is evident in her eyes. ] I guess that means... Ultron took your memories of me away....
[ Amber eyes drop slightly at the admission, as if saying it out loud has made it final. Ultron would have wanted to hurt Tony the most; make him suffer. Because he was like a child who knew all these things but lacked what JARVIS has--the ability to understand humans and emotions. She knew Ultron couldn't understand why she wouldn't side with him; something made of superior technology siding with humans still (siding with Tony).
A breath escapes her. She raises her head so he can scrutinize her all he wants. ] Aoou.... but, it's okay. We can make new memories together. We can be important again. If you want.
no subject
...especially the careful ones.
His gaze drops briefly to the x-ray when she touches it, then his gaze goes back to her face, then to her legs, then back to her face again.
Heās building something in his head; it's not just a memory, but a model, like the models he sometimes uses when he's trying to build something.
When she says Ultron, something in his expression hardens, not at her, but at the name. Ultron took your memories of me away.
His jaw flexes and his expression hardens for a second. He believes her even though part of him doesn't want to. Part of him still thinks he's being screwed with, that people are just telling him things because it's the narrative they want to create, the story they're trying to make for who knows what reason. It feels like manipulation, and he doesn't like it.
But the more he thinks about it, the more he believes her. Nothing about her behavior is trying to sell him anything. Sheās leaving him room: space, choice, data without pressure.
Thatās what tips it. Thatās what makes it real. ]
Youāre doing it again. [ A small tilt of his head. ]
Talking like you already know how I think. [ It's not accusation; it's observation. ]
And the annoying part is... youāre right.
[ He studies her for another long moment before he says: ] I don't feel overwhelmed; I feel cheated, because I can tell this mattered a lot, and now I don't even get to remember why. How is that fair? It's not fair to me, it's not fair to you... [ It's not fair to the whole damn world. Too dramatic? Well, sue me, Ultron went after all of us, and that's my fault.
Tony's fists clench in response to the thoughts in his head. ]
But you know the weird thing? I also donāt feel like youāre a stranger. You donāt feel new. You feel like... like someone I've known for a long time. Years. Months. Not days.
[ His hand finally shifts, not away, but slightly upward at her side, almost like he's testing familiarity the way he would test a prototype. ]
So hereās what weāre not going to do. Weāre not going to pretend we can rebuild something we donāt understand yet. [ This isn't rejection. It's precision. ]
Weāre going to start with facts. Time. Exposure. We're going to let my brain catch up to whatever the hell my instincts are already doing.
[ He lets out a breath that's more tired than he's been letting on. ]
And if this was as important as my body seems to think it was... Then itāll come back, or weāll build something just as strong. Okay?
no subject
Tony is just one of the few outside her squad--her family--that understands the things she doesn't say. No, he did understand. He did notice. Even in the early days he had noticed, but she hadn't realized it. Not until he pointed out that he did.
But, that was when he knew her... even a little bit.
She truly realizes in the span of just those few statements how much of his memories of her are gone.
All of them.
O-oooh...
Tony hadn't come to save her again. He hadn't come to bring her home. The Deputy Chief must have set things in motion for reasons she doesn't really know, but now, she can see that what Tony came for was answers. Not Little Mermaid--not Ariel.
When he looks at her, all he sees is someone who says she knows him. Someone that says it's going to be okay when nothing must feel okay. Someone that he can't believe is reassuring because he doesn't known her. He doesn't trust her. She's just someone he thinks he used to know.
She's just another woman with a pretty face.
That thought--realization strikes her hard. Sharp, almost as if she's had someone stab her. The fear of S.H.I.E.L.D. taking her away was always there, but, once she realized she loved him? She knew what she feared even more was being nothing more than another woman to Tony. Someone that Pepper would take out in the morning. No one special or someone that could brighten his day with just a smile.
Now... that's what she has become.
Ultron didn't just take his memories of her away... he took Tony away from her.
Another feeling begins to simmer. A feeling she hasn't had in a long time. That feeling of anger and resentment towards someone who took away precious things from her. Ultron. Red Shoes. They both did that. The feeling doesn't last long as she realizes that that deep dark loneliness begins to fill her. ]
...ahh... aoou... [ the sounds leave her instead of words for a moment, ] I'm sorry... I... I just learned how people communicate with or without words...
[ Amber eyes fall and drift to the side. Facts. Data. Information. That's what Tony needs. ]
We met four years ago...
[ Years. Months. Not days.
She doesn't move when he moves his hand upwards. Not from rebuking the motion, but simply letting him test what he feels he needs to test. She's always been the more physical out of the two of them.
Facts. Time. Exposure. If it really was that important.
Oooh... ]
O-okay. [ Her voice wavers with an obvious range of emotions she is holding back and to herself for his benefit. ] ... I understand. Okay. Y-you can ask me anything you want.
[ Ariel can't help but feel heavy. As if something is pulling her down into that dark lonely place again. Her hand curls against her chest futher, pressing into the skin above her core. She can feel the prick of her nails into her palm. She feels as if she's lost him; that she is sinking and won't stop sinking.
It's not fair for her to hold onto them then, is it? What the Deputy Chief managed to bring to her.
Both of her trembling hands reach up behind her neck. A small pop can be heard. A necklace chain comes up from underneath the robe she has on over her bathing suit. Both hands cradle what is at the end of the chain that clasps with magents. She stands still for a moment.
Then, she holds her hands up between them. He hates being handed things. If you give Tony the chance to take something? Then he usually will. ]
You should be the one to hold onto these then. Until I earn it back. It's okay... really. So, take them, and you can decide what to do with them.
[ Her hands unfurl to unveil a pair of rings that don't necessarily match. One made of the same metal as the early Iron Man suits, with a sliver of what looks like liquid metal down the center that shifts between gold and red. The other is a more delicate looking ring with a blue and green tinted gem, detailed in what looks like fish scales. ]
Please.
no subject
He doesnāt remember the history or the context, and he doesn't remember how they slotted together, fitting like two pieces of a puzzle. What he does know is the exact moment she starts pulling away from him emotionally. He watches it happen in real time, and he doesn't like it. He doesn't like it, and it bothers him more than anything sheās said.
He's seen that look before, and the last time he saw it, it was on people who thought they'd lost him. He wonders if that's what's going through Little Mermaid's mind; should he know what's on her mind? A part of him feels like he should, but the memories he thinks he had feel like they've been locked up and he can't access them.
Slowly, his gaze drops to her hands and to the rings that she holds. He doesnāt reach for them at first, choosing instead to study them the same way he studied the x-rays.
Then his eyes lift back to hers. There's a look in his eyes that most people would miss; outwardly, he might look calm. His posture might appear somewhat relaxed, if a bit stiff around the shoulders. But the look in his eyes contains the reality of it. He's unhappy and he's on edge and he's absolutely not thrilled that he can't remember things he should know. ]
You don't have to do that, you know. I don't know what "that" is called, but you're doing it. [ He shakes his head but it's not an angry gesture, more of a tired one. ] Protecting me? You don't have to do that. Backing off? You don't have to do that either.
So, we met four years ago, and we're obviously close, which makes you more than just someone. That makes you someone who matters, but I don't remember why you matter.
[ He takes a small step closer. His hands leave her sides, but only so he can close her fingers back over the rings instead of taking them. ]
And you donāt hand something like this back because you think you fell down the nonexistent ranking list in my head.
[ His thumb presses lightly against her knuckles to keep her from reopening her hands. ]
Thatās not how I work.
no subject
Her gaze softens at the look in his eyes. It's so similar to the look he had when Ultron attacked everyone at Avenger's Tower. No one else noticed it. No one else saw how much it got under his skin. How he held himself responsible, because everyone thought he simply shrugged it off. They didn't see what ripping JARVIS to shreds did to him.
Now, Ultron has ripped something else to shreds, except he can't even grasp what that something is.
How is she supposed to make any of this better if she shouldn't pull back, but she can't do what she would normally to help? ]
"If something comes at me, you swat it. If something comes at you, I swat it." That's what you said and what we agreed on. That's why...
[ Her downcast eyes drift to the x-rays.
She knew she could survive the crumbling building. Tony couldn't. She knew she would be damaged and hurt badly, but she would get better! Iron Man's suit would sustain too much damage, and he needed to stop Ultron. It was an easy decision in her mind. That knowledge doesn't help handle how he screamed her name over the communications link. She'd never heard him so panicked and scared before.
Which just tells her even more how much it hurt him to see her catch the missle strike in Malibu.
"And if I gotta say it again, youāre the one thing I canāt lose. Not just "can't", but won't."
Should she tell him that...
Amber eyes move to her hand the moment he curls her fingers over them. Her eyes widen slightly, as if she's afraid he's rejecting them. He may not have been as attached to his engagement ring as she is hers and that's okay. It's her most treasured possession, because she has nothing but memories left of her squadmates--her family. Tony gave it to Ariel, and that's the person she has decided to be. Maybe she did suffer some sort of mind switch after all on some level after Malibu... or she was simply able to reconcile being what a Nikke truly is with the fact someone loved her as a Nikke and the human woman still inside.
But, if Tony doesn't remember her or being engaged, how can she still wear it in good faith and not push him into it? ]
Ahhh.... aoouu... [ more sounds as words really start to fail her. Tears prick her eyes as she stares at their hands. ] ...you always know what I'm thinking when I try to keep it locked away...
[ She's always worried she doesn't reach the standard of being Tony Stark's fiancƩe. That she isn't pretty enough, or refined enough, or as skilled in intimacy as other women he's had. She's always wanted to be the best at all of those things for him, so he's never left wanting in anything.
She closes her eyes. Her legs tremble, and she feels the commanded bubbles cling to them tighter to keep her upright. She'll have to sit down again soon. Not yet. Just a little longer. ]
... you said we were like magnets. That we pull each other together...
[ Are we not anymore...? ]
no subject
Tonyās expression changes instantly. It's not thoughtful, it's not curious... It's rattled. Unsettled. Thrown entirely off guard.
His eyes lose focus like something just yanked a live wire in his head. If she's watching, his jaw tightens so abruptly it almost clicks.
And then... Heās not in the pool room anymore. Heās in Malibu and simultaneously somewhere else.
The memories donāt line up. They stack over each other wrong. He can all but hear concrete screaming as it shears apart; glass blows inward and there's the screach of sirens and the thick burning scent of smoke. The HUD in his suit is lit up with red warnings he canāt read fast enough. He can see a structure collapsing in slow motion, but it's not clear which building.
Tower... house... both? Someone's inside. She's inside. He can hear himself over comms; he's not giving orders, but he's yelling, shouting, screaming her name until his throat burns.
Ariel. Ariel.
Ariel.
The building folds as something hits it. Thereās a flash... Is it a missile? Just plain debris? He canāt tell. He just knows sheās inside it. She's trapped inside, and he's outside, useless for what feels like forever. Don't you dare let her die.
The feeling of terror, panic, and fear is intact even if the details are broken. This feeling feels like it doesn't belong to him, but it belongs to a man watching the one thing he canāt lose disappear behind dust and fire.
Tonyās knees give slightly, not into a full collapse but enough of one that he has to catch himself with a hand against the poolās edge.
His voice comes out strained. ]
You... you swatted something for me, didn't you? [ He swallows hard. His eyes squeeze shut for half a second, and then his next words come out in fragments. ]
Missile. Building. I... You were inside the building, and you didn't answer. I remember thinking if you didnāt answer me, I was going to...
[ He stops. He canāt finish it. He doesnāt know what comes after, only that it was catastrophic in his mind.
He finally looks at her, really looking her in the eyes. There's a pause, and in a tone that Tony Stark never uses, he just says one thing. ]
... Ariel?
no subject
She braces herself for that very reaction.
Except... that's not at all what happens.
Her eyes widen the moment his gaze unfocused and his jaw tightens. She's seen something similar to that look before. He has been rattled and sitting on the floor of the workshop--in Malibu or the Tower--with panic attacks more times than she kept track. Some have been bad.
This looks like one of the bad ones.
A bubble forms around the rings in her hand and floats to the side to keep them safe. She anchors herself best she can with her injured legs and moves to put her hands gently on his arms. Before she can even make contact or say her name he is down on one knee bracing himself against the edge of the pool.
Little Mermaid drops to her knees immediately and sits down in a panic rush. Her legs don't agree with the sudden motion. Pain spikes from her toes to her hips. She flinches harshly before biting the inside of her mouth to keep from letting a pained cry out. It's okay. It'll pass. Tony's sudden condition is more important. ]
Tony! [ Her tone is filled with worry and a sliver of panic. Hands settle on his arms to help hold him up as she reminds herself not to be so familiar. ] Tony, what's wrong? Can I...
[ She stops midsentence as he speaks again. Amber eyes scan over his face as he begins to recount what suddenly gripped him. Memories. It sounds almost like both traumatic events, Malibu and what surely would be his last memories of her. Her gaze on him softens. Oooh...
Little Mermaid opens her mouth to speak and confirm what he had seen; clear up details for him about the events. Except, he pauses, and she finds herself remaining quiet. His eyes meet hers. As always with Tony, she feels her breath taken away. He always has that effect on her.
"... Ariel?"
Little Mermaid stills just long enough for him to truly look at her. Then, her hands on his arms move to his hands. Hers guide his to her face, encouraging him to touch her and confirm she's really there in front of him. Hands settle on his wrists.
That tone of voice is one she has never heard from him before. Even when he found her in the Avengers Tower after being flown to Tennessee. She's seen him rattled and disoriented before. The only time she has ever heard him be scared was in Sokovia... ]
Tony. [ her voice is gentle and comforting. She puts as much love in her tone as she can muster despite the pain. ] I'm okay. I'm right here.
[ She isn't so naive to think all his memories are back. Just recognizing her is enough. ]
no subject
Magnets. He remembers this, even if it's like remembering something that's been hidden from him. We said we were each other's magnet. Why doesn't it feel like I actually remember saying that?
His jaw tightens and he gives a small, involuntary shake of his head, like heās trying to dislodge a thought before it finishes forming. His fingers curl slightly against her face as if this is one more thing they remember but his mind doesn't. And for someone who's always maintained he's the smartest mind in the room? This really doesn't work for him at all.
His gaze slips past her shoulder to nothing, to somewhere that isnāt this room.
Glass. Water. Noise. Something collapsing in on itself with her inside it.
His knees dip before he catches himself. His shoulder bumps the edge harder as he steadies, but he doesnāt seem to notice. His breathing turns shallow and uneven as his eyes squeeze shut for a second.
When they open, theyāre sharper but not calmer. He looks at her legs, then at her face before returning, then traveling back to her legs again like his brain is trying to force two mismatched images to line up.
His mouth moves like he wants to say something but no words come out, and then he studies her like heās checking if sheās real, like heās half-expecting the room to glitch around her, warping what's in front of him into some other scenario that his mind didn't create.
His hands twitch where they rest against her arms, testing the contact, grounding himself through it without seeming to realize thatās what heās doing. ]
Are you sure you're okay? What's with the bubbles? [ He dimly remembers the bubbles being something that has multiple uses, but like before, that knowledge seems like it belongs to someone else. ] They're not just for show, are they?
no subject
She wants to pull him into her arms. She wants to offer that place for him to hide from things and work through what his mind has pulled to the forefront. But, this isn't about her. This is about Tony and what he wants to do from this point on.
Her cheek gently rests into his palm as a confirmation to the action. She's real and she can be his rock while he regains his footing. ]
Ooooh?
[ Little Mermaid almost asks if he remembers her bubbles. Of course he wouldn't. He just saw the bubble she sat on break apart into smaller ones. Tony is a genius! He probably realized the substance on her legs is the same thing as the bubble she sat on, just a different color.
Her hands shift to move his, guiding them from her arms to her legs. They're folded underneath her as that's how she hit the ground in front of him when he went down. This way he can feel the texture of the bubbles. Of course he may not want to touch her legs or her bubbles at all. She shifts her hands away from his to give him the space to make the choice. ]
I... used them to act as padding and braces while my legs heal. [ Her gaze drifts to the side. ] They're healing slower than they should. Uhm... mmmm... aoou...
[ Should she tell him? It might help focus his mind more! Tony always does better when there is a puzzle or a problem to solve. He's an engineer. Building, fixing, and improving is just what he does. ]
... We become Nikkes when they add an element called Goddessium to us. When we're hurt? The Goddessium... it acts almost like a program that needs to be directed in how to help us heal... [ her lips press together, ] I guess how the Goddessium works for my generation doesn't work the same way as the older Nikkes. I don't know the technical terms, but, they said they can't figure out the language needed...
...I guess that's why they called you. You figured it out before.
[ Given his father worked with Abe? It always made sense to her that Tony figured it out in order to help her side heal after Malibu. He ...was the only person in the world who knew how to make it work.
After a pause, she looks back up at him. A determined and yet pained look is on her face. One that says she is bracing herself for an answer she doesn't want. One he can make and she won't hate him for that choice. If she's not familiar and it feels like she can never be... if being with her can never feel like home again... ]
Tony. [ She gives him a smile even with tears at the corner of her eyes. ] I want you to be happy and have a life full of light. I want you to enjoy living and be around those who bring your life meaning. If all of this hurts too much or if it feels too foreign to who you are now? I understand. You can walk away if you want. You don't have to do anything to help me or be apart of any of what Andersen is trying to pull you into with the Goddesses. [ A pause, then: ] No... with me.
It's okay if you want to leave. I understand. I don't want you to be in pain or suffer because of me, or what we had before. It's been four months now, and you've done so much without me there. If none of this feels like you anymore? I-it's okay. I understand.
[ Her hands move away from hovering over his and curl in front of her core. The physical representation of space signifying he has the choice to leave and not help; leave and go back to the life he's lived without her. His choice. She won't sway him either way, although she figures it's obvious what outcome she wants. He said time and exposure, but now something has switched in his mind, she wants him to be able to really decide.
She'll always love him--even from afar. She'll always be cheering for him, rooting for him. He's her prince and always has been, even when he insists that he isn't a prince and just a man in a tin can. If they can't be magnets anymore... then he shouldn't have to suffer to try and recover that.
Her heart would break, but, that's not as important to her as Tony's wellbeing. ]
no subject
His brow furrows, head tilting slightly as he tests the surface of the bubbles with his thumb. He knows this, he knows it does. He can feel how the bubbles give slightly but they don't collapse or pop. Part of him is intrigued by this and wants to borrow one of the bubbles to study in greater detail.
He knows this is interesting, just like he knows he would have wanted to inspect it closely. But as hard as he tries, he can't bring to mind a memory of examining the bubbles or testing them or scanning them or anything. All he can come up with is a feeling of unfinished, unaddressed curiosity about something he wanted to come back to but never did. ]
I wanted to look at this. I wanted to look closer at it, to see if there was a way to augment it, to make it do more for you. [ His eyes drift again, this time in thought, not in panic. It's his engineering brain working again, trying to think about how to improve upon these bubbles; all Tony gets for it is a feeling of pressure behind his eyes, which he tries to ignore.
He blames the confusion in his head for what happens next. Maybe it's another memory he suppressed because it involved his dad, and Howard Stark is a complicated topic for Tony on a good day.
He hears his dad's voice as if it's coming from far away, and he honestly can't remember if this is a real memory or something his mind is making up. How would he have heard this anyway, much less remember it?
...Goddess project... material that adapts... Abe says it's capable of learning...
Goddessium. So the substance has a name. Not a substance, an element. Tony's eyes move back to hers, more focused now, although the headache is growing too.
And then... He blinks. Magnets. Another memory resurfaces, and this time, it's her close to him. Him trying to explain something he wasnāt good at saying plainly, trying to find a metaphor that works because that's just how he works.
Weāre like magnets. He hears himself say it, and he feels that he meant it. His eyes close for half a second and a sound that's easily missed escapes him. Is it the headache or the sudden influx of memories that he still feels he's missing the context for?
He doesn't say anything yet, but he sees and feels her hands beginning to pull away and he moves instinctively without thinking. His hands catch hers lightly, not grabbing on or holding too tightly, but just trying to stop her from withdrawing. ]
Don't. [ He pauses. ] I know I don't remember, and I don't know why this is important or even why it matters, but it does. I just know that it does.
[ His fingers curl slightly against hers. ] I know that you matter too.
no subject
I was inspired by you. [ She makes a quiet nod down to her legs. ] The way your suits are layered. There's another layer underneath that hugs my legs even tighter... the outer layer is just support and helps absorb some of the motions for walking for now. Just until I'm better.
[ There is a hint of pride in her voice. After all, she can't make the amazing things Tony can. All she can do is apply what she's learned from him into what she designs. Even this attempt with her bubbles is crude. She's surprised he hasn't scrutinized the design concept and how she should be in a wheelchair or using crutches instead.
She did it in order to try and speed her recovery as fast as she could. That way she could find a way out and go back home to him. Not that Andersen has been keeping her against her will. There is a bigger picture going on, and she knows she can't really leave the Goddess Squad now, but ... this place isn't home.
Then again, observing Tony as he is now, and taking in everything from the way he shuts his eyes to the sound that leaves him? She has realized that returning to the Avengers Tower wouldn't be returning home. It's obvious to her that her home--Ariel's home--doesn't exist anymore. At least not in the way that it did before.
That familiar dark loneliness pulls at her and threatens to drag her down into it's bottomless pit.
Somedays... she just stayed in that pit; when her bubbles never brought Cinderella or Abe to save her from Stane.
His hands catch hers and Ariel simply meets his gaze and looks back at him with tears in her eyes. Words are powerful things. It feels like all the words that she has chosen outside of answering with facts have done more harm than good in their brief reunion. What should she say to make it so nothing is hurting anymore? What words work when she shouldn't act how she normally does, but at the same time, not pull away to give him space she thinks he needs?
What should she do? She used to be so good at knowing what Tony needed. She could just watch and notice. Now, it's like the signals she is seeing are all skewed and everything is mixed. He's hurting, but doesn't trust her enough to help. He knows she matters, but that wall to keep people away pushes her back. She can see what he needs, but that familiarity is gone. So... she has to be "Siren" and "Ariel" at the same time. The Nikke but not so much the Nikke where they're entirely strangers.
What words work?
Maybe no words work anymore.
Ariel is silently. No words, none of her customary sounds. Just the sound of her breathing that hitches to keep her tears and emotions back. The sound of the pool water lapping against the edges and the hair that has spilled into it from where they are sitting next to it.
Tony doesn't know how to read her silent communications anymore. He doesn't know what to notice or even to notice. Right? How would he if he doesn't remember anything?
She gently guides his hands to rest over her core, not that he would know it's anything more than her heart. One presses them there, and the other stretches out towards him. Slowly, deliberately, so he can see the motion and know that she will stop if he doesn't want the intimate gesture that only he used to know. The tips of her fingers press against the fabric of the t-shirt under his jacket, feeling the surface of the covered arc reactor. Then, she presses her whole hand against it.
Softly, as if she is afraid he will pull away if she speaks: ] ... I'd like being your other magnet.
[ Of course she remembers his birthday that they first shared. Their conversation. Their dance. The joke he made to kick him if he ever stops noticing her. She won't say any of that. ]
no subject
He knows things, but he doesnāt know why he knows them. Still, he examines her, and his mind is moving with observable facts: Layering. Support structure. Load distribution. He hears her talk about the outer and inner layers and his brain is already mapping everything out as much as it can. He can see how it was built, and he can see where he would reinforce it, where it's inefficient, and more importantly, see where it's almost too clever. ]
Your bubbles are both doing the job and overcorrecting at the same time. I think thatās why youāre tiring out faster than you should. [ He doesnāt know how he knows that. It's just one of many things he knows but shouldn't know. Or should he?
He pauses in his examination long enough to look back at her face and that's when he sees the tears. That's what stops him, and Tony Stark rarely stops for anyone. I stop for her. I think.
His hand comes up without thought and without permission from the part of him that is trying very hard to stay skeptical and guarded. His thumb brushes under her eye, wiping one of the tears away like itās the most natural motion in the world.
He frowns faintly at his own hand, like it did something weird and foreign by just knowing what to do. ]
Don't. [ It's not a command, more of a request. ] Donāt do that.
[ Donāt cry. Donāt look at him like that. Donāt make this harder. But then she guides his hands, and he lets her, not even realizing he's letting her. Once his hands come to a stop on her core, something in his head seems to snap.
Memories donāt come back in order. They crash.
Metal. Water.
Her laughing in the workshop while he tries to get a scanner close to one of the bubbles and she keeps moving it on purpose.
Malibu. Smoke. Dust. Her silhouette inside a collapsing structure while he screams her name into the comms. Her saying too calmly: If something comes at you, I swat it.
The flood of memories doesnāt stop, because maybe it can't just yet. He squeezes his eyes shut and his hands tighten slightly where theyāre pressed to her. His shoulders tense like heās bracing through a hit, and for a long few seconds, he doesnāt say anything at all.
But when he opens his eyes again, heās looking at her differently. He's not confused or skeptical; he might be a little rattled, but he's certain in a way he wasn't five seconds ago. His thumb brushes the edge of her jaw almost absently, like heās reacquainting himself with something he lost and just found again. ]
We never did get around to studying your bubbles. I wanted to. I still want to. [ He pauses for a little longer then, and then he says: ]
We are magnets. And maybe I don't believe in a lot of things except for what science can prove, but... [ His eyes lock with hers. ] I think... No, I know... I believe in that.
no subject
Oooh... [ a soft sound of acknowledgement of his critique, but nothing more than that. She's still silent as she can be and waiting out how she can act without causing a feeling of uncomfort or anything else.
Overcorrecting... that would most likely be the kotodama at work in the bubbles. Forcing her legs to move and bend when they aren't fully ready. Still, she can't be immobile anymore. She has to push to be better. Maybe the Goddessium will reprogram itself to how she moves if she makes her legs move. That way she can actually be on the field with Red Hood, and she can go with Tony...
Another thought creeps up in her mind that maybe Tony wouldn't want her to return with him to New York now. Goddess HQ might be her new home. Ultron may have taken all of that away from her.
His thumb brushes away the tear in the corner of her eye. She almost smiles, leaning slightly into his touch until his request comes. Then, her eyes move over him once more.
"Don't do that."
Okay. It's too much of Ariel then; too close and too emotional. She caught the glare he gave at his hand. It's too much familiarity when not enough of it is familiar just yet. She inhales and tilts her head away slightly, just enough to be able to pull her emotions back. An shaking exhale leaves her and she looks back up at Tony, waiting for the next sign on what direction to take for him.
She should pull her hand away from the arc reactor.
Her hand begins to pull away until she sees him shut his eyes tightly. His fingers curl against her hand keeping them at her core. Little Mermaid stills entirely and her eyes widen. She's scared but not of him leaving or no longer wanting her to be apart of his life to any degree. He's hurting and it's because of her. Everything she's done since he walked in the room has just caused some level of pain, anxiety, or discomfort.
Cinderella... what do I do? I just keep hurting my prince. What should I do? You were always the one who knew howna real Goddess of Victory should be... and I can't even be that for my prince. What do I...
Part of her feels again as if she should just dip into the pool and disappear--like seafoam.
Tony opens his eyes and meets her gaze. All she can see is the pain he's in. Not only the physical pain from fighting whatever Ultron did to him... but a quiet exhausted pain. Has he been this way since he recovered from Ultron's attack? Has he been eating enough, sleeping, taking care of himself? She thinks maybe he's even lonely, but, maybe that's just what she wants to see because it's how she feels.
His thumb brushes against her jaw and everything suddenly feels different. She knows that motion, because it's one of his little ways of pulling her attention towards him when she's in her own mind. It's a motion he does sometimes as if he can't believe she's not only there, but that she stayed with him when others left. She knows that gesture because it's one of Tony's silent ways of communicating the one thing he's always really wanted from anyone around him.
"We are magnets."
Little Mermaid raises her suddenly trembling hands. They wrap around him, guiding him into her hold this time. Gesturing for him to rest against her. She will always give him that one thing he's always asking for, even if he doesn't physically reach out his hand. It's a promise she'll never break.
Her chin rests on the top of his head. She isn't sure what she can say that won't cause any discomfort, so all she offers is one word: ]
Tony.
[ It's okay. You're back home. ]
no subject
... Probably because even he isn't entirely sure what he's trying to communicate. But he figures he better start nailing that down, or this isn't ever going to work. ]
You say things in a certain way when you want to get something across. [ He feels like he should know that, and the memory of it is partly there, but it's also just his observation from the last however many minutes of talking with her. ]
How you said "Tony" just then, that's not just... Something. That means something. You're right about one thing, and maybe I'm not; maybe I'm just reaching, but it's going to be okay, because- [ He stops, because "now that I'm here" is such a bad romantic line. ] It's going to be okay. We're not home, but I'm going to take you home.
[ This isn't home as they know it, and he knows he can't fix her up here. Well, he can, but he doesn't want to. He doesn't know the tools here, or the scanners, or the equipment. He needs to be home to do that. ]
... The only problem is, I'm not working with a full deck of cards here, and I think we both know that. [ For him, that feels like a big thing to admit, something he wasn't willing to admit before. He vaguely recalls a conversation with Peter Parker in which he had no recollections of Little Mermaid at all.
... This is progress, right? ]
Do you still want to go with me? You could stay here, after all. [ He briefly glances sideways, not moving his head since she's resting her chin on top of it, but he moves his eyes just enough to briefly see their surroundings. ] It doesn't look bad; they're probably taking care of you. [ Or she's taking care of herself. ]
I can't guarantee they'll just let us stroll out of here either. [ Well, he'd do the strolling if she says yes to going with him. ]
no subject
Tony... Tony communicates more in unspoken ways. He says things, but his expressions, body language, and sighs say more. Sometimes even the words he says means opposite of how he feels. Learning all those pieces is second nature to her, and so she reacts according to what she notices. The problem now is that it's like Tony is at war with himself, and so she notices things from "both sides."
It's not even really "sides", it's more Tony not being in sync with himself... but she's not sure if he would believe her if she said anything. He may even disagree entirely and insist otherwise. So, she'll keep adjusting to the things she notices! Until he tells her to stop.
Oooh... it's...
That's how it is again. He has to not only learn her again, but how she communicates. Who Ariel is. He doesn't remember the woman he found locked away; who couldn't speak until the taser had been removed. He doesn't remember the taser, or teaching her how to help him work on his suits, or the cake he brought home on his birthday. Their first dance and kiss.
Her gaze softens and drifts upwards. So, he remembers them in terms of how he feels... but not her in terms of knowing everything. That's okay. He can learn who she is again! Remembering and feeling them is more important to her. It means he can embrace those things.
Should she keep noticing things? He told her once he'd notice if she stopped. ]
Huh huh! [ A nod to confirm his observations. Communication is more than words.
She smiles slightly to herself. His mind is still shifted into engineering mode. Fixing the problems. Emotions can wait, because the technology problems have to be fixed first. That was what he said last time she was hurt.
" I'm going to take you home."
She exhales softly and presses her cheek to the side of his head. Home.
Home.
I want to go home.
Her eyes move over the pool room. It's not a bad pool. Her room isn't a bad room either. Andersen and Red Hood have been more than understanding and accommodating. They've been the ones telling her to go slower and take her time to heal. They've been good friends. But...
Goddess HQ isn't home. Neither is the Avengers Tower. It's only home because he's there. How can she communicate that in a way he will understand when he doesn't remember how she communicates? Words are just things when it comes to Tony. ]
Aooou....
[ Little Mermaid pulls back and gently gives him a reassuring squeeze to his arms before letting her hands rest in her lap. She isn't pulling away in the emotional way. Just the physical sense so she isn't in the way of his mind working with what he thinks he needs to fix. Giving him the space and permission he thinks he needs to ask for.
She gives him a gentle smile. Tony is a genuis. He'll figure it out. ] I want to go home.
no subject
But now, he feels differently, memories or no memories. He almost immediately notices the moment she pulls back from him, which probably isn't too difficult because she's physically pulling back, but the action gets his attention.
A second ago her chin had been resting on him, and the contact made him relax in a way he hadn't done in a long time. But when she eases away, giving him space, he realizes he misses the contact. ]
You know, I could kick myself. I should've anticipated something like this happening. I'm supposed to be ahead of the game; I have been ahead of the game, so what the hell happened?
[ He hates how he feels like his memories are just out of reach, slipping out of his grasp just as he's about to grab hold of them again. But then, with a sudden determination, he makes himself look at her, looking her straight in the eyes, noting how she's sitting, how she's just watching and very clearly waiting.
Waiting for him. ]
Okay, I think you've done enough waiting. No, I don't know how long you've been waiting, but I think that's enough. [ He glances around the room briefly, assessing it the way he assesses labs and workshops and staging grounds: it's all useful and clearly functional, but it's not his. It's not theirs, and it's not home. ]
I donāt know these people. I donāt know this equipment. I donāt know what theyāve been doing to help you, and Iām sure itās fine, but... I need my tools and scanners and my own systems. I canāt fix what I donāt fully understand in someone elseās sandbox, you know?
[ He pauses for a second, and then he continues: ] This isn't where we fit. It's not our house, our rooms... Our room.
[ He glowers at the pool room like it's personally offended him somehow, as ridiculous as that sounds. ] I know I don't know a lot, but I do know enough to know this isnāt where youāre supposed to be. And I know enough to know I donāt want to leave you here. [ She was left somewhere once, and he doesn't know exactly what he should think about that, but some instinct is telling him that he's never going to leave her behind again. ]
So, do you still want to come with me? You can say no, you know. Part of me thinks you probably should, because, well... [ He rolls his eyes at himself. ] I'm a trashfire, a hot mess, basically any descriptor you could think of, that's me. But, if you say yes, Iāll figure out the rest. Permissions, people, doors, whatever I have to push through to get us home.
[ He pauses, and then the slightest hint of sarcasm touches his voice. ]
They might not like that very much.
no subject
The only times it has ever bothered her was when that deep loneliness curled around her heart. The times where she silently would roll into his arms or against his back and curl her hands into his sleeping shirt. Sometimes it would be nightmares from her time locked away, other times memories from when Anachiro attacked all of them. She does her best to keep all those things to herself... but sometimes she needs him to ground her and remind her she isn't alone or hurting.
Or, she wasn't.
Little Mermaid gives a small smile and looks down. What happened? All she can think was he was scared. Something happened on that trip to the HYDRA base. Something gripped ahold of him so tightly that he went to the farthest possible answer his reasoning could give. He tried to make something they couldn't control. He was scared; so scared he never entirely told her what happened at that base. What Wanda made him see.
Her hands curl slightly in her lap. Wanda Maximoff. She made Tony see something that caused all this damage. A series of choices that has landed them where they are. She's... not sure she can forgive Wanda.
She can't forgive Red Shoes.
Little Mermaid feels his gaze and locks with his instantly.
Waiting long enough; waiting for him to help her where she can't help herself. Waiting for her prince to rescue her again...
Their house. Their home. Their room.
Her breath catches in her throat. They haven't had a house in so long. Three years in December. They have a room in the Tower thats theirs, but not a house.
Their room.
A brief flash of loneliness creeps into her eyes.
"Okay, so... It's not "my bed" anymore. It's "our bed", and anytime you want to use it, it's there."
Her gaze softens as he continues. He unwillingly is repeating himself. Bits of conversations they have had over the last four years somehow all in one. Topics they've discussed and settled, but not ones he remembers. Restablishing everything. The baselines.
Time and exposure...
"You really want this to be yours? All of it? The workshop of insanity, the snark, the nightmares with a side of coffee addiction... You know people are going to think you're nuts for wanting to be around me. For even putting up with me."
Now isn't the time to worry about over thinking words or if he is ready to hear any of them. She knows exactly what to say. He might not be ready, but, it will show him she's already answered his worries. They've decided on the answers.
They're magnets.
He's her prince and she's his little mermaid. ]
Five months. [ Her voice is soft, only a few notches above a whisper. Something quiet only he should know about. ] What happened in Sokovia was five months ago. That was the last time we saw each other... yes, I swatted something for you. A big something. Even with your suit? It would have killed you. I could take the hit and just be severely wounded... but you would have died. You still needed to stop Ultron with the rest of your team.
[ Her hands unfold and gently rest on either leg as if to demonstrate that her current state was the severer wounds mentioned. They were worse five months ago. She couldn't walk at all. ]
They took me away; out from the Tower under everyone's gaze. I woke up here. The Deputy Chief and Red Hood have been doing everything to help me recover. He's the one who told me what happened after Sokovia... and what happened to all of you...
[ That's why she's been here so long. She hasn't been able to leave because of her injuries. Injuries that shouldn't have mattered, because she was supposed to wake up and see Tony and the Avengers victorious. He would have fixed her. They would of gone back to their normal lives. Then, they moved in and exploited something Ultron did. She couldn't have gone back even if her legs were fine.
Tony didn't remember her.
Her gaze softens more. No crying.
She's felt like she's been in that containment room again, even with the freedom to go anywhere in Goddess HQ. She can go outside. Red Hood and her have trained together! She's worked with a real Goddess of Victory. Still, it felt like... ]
Tony?
[ Her hand lifts, but not towards him. Fingers stretch out to the small bubble that has been floating near her. It lands in her hand as if called. She then presses it to core, as if protecting the most precious thing in the world to her. Tony is that to her. He's her world. ]
All of your robotics, your loud music, DUM-E, your love of coffee. The nightmares and anxiety attacks. Your funny remarks, the spotlight on you. Iron Man and Stark Industries. Living in the Tower instead of a house. Your unfinished projects when you start a new one. When you make a choice no one else understands. All of it. It's all apart of you.
Yes. [ Her hand curls over the bubble protecting their rings even more. ] I said "yes" three years ago... and will keep saying it as much as you need. Yes.
[ Then, she grabs the damaged x-rays off the ground. They shouldn't be left behind. Her amber eyes stare at her legs for a moment before a shakey exhale leaves. She pushes herself up. Her legs shake almost uncontrollably before the bubbles tighten around them. Stabilizing them and forcing them to still. She suppresses the look of pain in her eyes because this is important. He needs to hear this more than she needs to sit down.
She smiles for him then, despite the obvious pain. A brilliant shinning smile she gives only when she's trying to express something from the bottom of her heart. Ariel reaching out again for him. ]
If you want me home by your side and in your corner? Yes. If you still want me to be your little mermaid? Yes. If you... still want me to be your wife? Yes, I'll still marry you.
Because, no matter what, you're still my hero. My Iron Man.
no subject
Now, though, he's not talking; not because he doesn't have anything to say, but because this is a good time to shut up and be quiet. He just listens, eyes fixed on her like if he looks away for even a second, heāll lose something important he doesnāt fully understand.
She talks about things that feel lived in and comfortable; listening to her talk is like thinking about memories he should be able to reach out and grab, but every time he tries, his mind meets resistance. The memories feel like they're there, but they're buried under something heavy that he hasn't figured out how to move. He can move things with the suit, but when it's just him with nothing but himself? He can't do anything.
Her words land, and with each one, he remembers a little bit more. Of course he knows the things that happened in Sokovia even if they're a little blurry around the edges. Five months. Sokovia. The situation in Sokovia going bad. Her taking a hit for him.
His gaze drops to her legs when she gestures to them and his jaw tightens. He doesnāt remember the moment, but he knows the facts. Knows the kind of force that would take to damage someone. Even if she says she knew she could survive it, and she obviously did, he knows no one just gets up and walks away from something like that.
Then, his mind fills in the gaps in a way that maybe she didn't intend: They took me away, and you didnāt come for me.
That's when he realizes what happened that day; Ultron didn't damage cities. He didn't go for the nation's leaders. He went for the defenses. Okay, so the Avengers aren't the only defenders out there, and hell, a lot of the time, they break more than they fix. Tony isn't dumb enough to think that there aren't people out there who want the Avengers gone.
Well, Ultron almost succeeded with that, didn't he? He damaged the Avengers, and he damaged Tony, and he's only just now realizing how much.
His eyes lift back to her when she says his name, and he watches the bubble settle into her hand, watches her press it to her core like itās the most precious thing she owns.
Then she starts listing things about him. DUM-E. Coffee. Loud music. Nightmares. Unfinished projects. The way he makes choices no one understands.
It takes him about five seconds to realize just what he's feeling: he's not feeling judged. He's feeling understood. And more than that, he knows she's not describing Tony Stark, eccentric billionaire in the public eye. She's not describing Iron Man. She's describing Tony.
And when she says yes, and repeats it, he knows it means something, whether or not he has the memories to back it up. And the fact that he doesn't have those memories is what makes this all feel so unfair. How can she still say she'll marry him when he's missing a good portion of his memories of them being together? ]
Look, I'm gonna be honest: I want you home. I want us to be home. But what kind of asshole would I be if I said "yes, let's get married" when I don't remember a damn thing that got us here? It's not fair to you, that's the point I'm trying to make here.
I'd love to just say "If youāre still willing to marry the guy with the coffee problem, the robots, the nightmares, and the spectacularly bad coping mechanisms, then let's do it. Let's get married." [ His expression turns serious then, and more than a little worried. ] That just feels wrong, and everyone knows my "wrongness sensor" has been busted for awhile now. You know, something about taking advantage of you? I don't want to be that guy.
no subject
When Andersen told her that they had confirmed Tony had no memories of her... that she had been wiped from the databases of the Tower? She didn't expect him to come and save her. How could he? He wouldn't know someone was missing to go find them. That was why she pushed herself so much to get better. She would be the one to go and find him. She would take herself back to the Tower and reintroduce herself. She'd apologize for not being there. She'd be the one to save him this time.
Reality, of course, settled in the more she thought on it. JARVIS wouldn't just let her in if her information was gone. The Avengers didn't show up either, which means for some reason they didn't investigate where she had gone. Maybe they thought she died in Sokovia. No one on the media had asked where Tony Stark's fiancƩe had gone. She was... erased. Those people had done it, just like the Deputy Chief said. They erased everything about "Ariel", because nothing was there to stop them once Ultron took away that safety net Tony always gave her.
She was still determined to go back to Tony with her own power once she was healed. One she pushed herself hard enough and fast enough.
That bright smile dims once he speaks. She hadn't expected him to make a leap of faith based on what she said. Tony needs facts and data to believe in things. He needs a reality. The reality she described--their reality--most likely "sounds great on paper", but not real enough. Not enough facts to back up what she says.
Isn't she the one taking advantage of him in this state? Giving the idea they can be married when he doesn't remember the life they've shared together. Suddenly she feels selfish; as if she's asking too much or offering to give him too much at once. Thinking once again that somehow something fairytale like will happen because of all the horrible things they've endured together and apart.
He's remembered that connection and that's enough.
She shifts the x-rays to under her arm that holds the small bubble. Then, the free hand hesitantly reaches out to gently rest against the side of his face; almost as if she is asking if it's okay to be that familiar. Ariel simply wants to communicate she wants that life with him still. He's still her hero.
She still loves him more than anything in the world.
It's just too familiar to say right now, isn't it? ]
Okay. [ Her voice is still soft, but a reserved under current has replaced the over abundance of love. It's still there. Just... subtle for him. ] I understand. I really do.
[ Ariel falls quiet again as she searches for the right thing to do--the right thing to say. Maybe there is nothing right to say. The situation could be so misaligned and unable to be fixed with words or communication. There might be no way to fix or resolve this divide that's been injected into their relationship. She knows that it's that deep loneliness she has always felt rumbling in the back of her mind telling her those things. Things she doesn't want to admit to herself are possibilities.
She looks down for a long moment until she feels the slight tremor in her legs again. How the bubbles affected by the kotodama immediately right the movement. Stand and move. No matter how much it hurts.
No matter how much it hurts... ]
When we get home? We'll put them somewhere safe and secure... until it's time to wear them again. That way they're not taken away again. [ Her hand tightens around the bubble at her chest once more before simply holding it gently. That way he doesn't feel he's taking advantage of her. That way she can earn that level of trust back from him. ] It's okay. I don't--I don't want you to feel pressured into any of it, or that you feel like you're taking advantage of me. You never have.
[ It hurts but that's not his fault. None of it. Ultron made the choices he did on his own. Wanda made her own choices too. Tony may have made Ultron... but Ultron still decided to lash out and destroy instead of protect. He made the decision to break something precious to Tony.
She feels another tremor spike through her leg. The bubbles immediately correct it again. It hurts.
Everything hurts...
Ariel closes her eyes to hide the sudden spike of pain in her toes to her hips. Time is up. She's reached the limit. Faster than normal, so hitting the pool room floor must have done something. ]
Let's go home.