🫧 mcu/nikke || ❝ is this the love that i've been searching for? ❞

[bubblesong]

[ Little Mermaid slips quietly down the stairs into the glass doors of the workshop. Golden colored eyes scan the workshop, realizing that the lights are off. That alone is unusual for the ungodly early hours of the morning when it comes to the Malibu mansion, but also because there is no music.

Or sounds.

She can account for every car being in it's place from where she stands.

Her hand raises to unlock the door and she slips inside. Since the room is already quiet, she decides to not make any jarring noises if possible. Both hands quietly ease the door shut and she practically tiptoes through the usually loud and bustling workshop. Her hair is braided in an attempt to keep it from dragging on the floor, but yet it still manages to touch it with the ends regardless. ]

Uhmm... ooo.

[ The nervous hushed sounds come from her as she continues her tiptoeing search through the workshop. She's nervous to call out to the man she's looking for in case it startles him.

Everyone is aware that things haven't been the same since they returned from New York City those months ago. Little Mermaid had been overjoyed to return to the Malibu mansion, but made sure to keep the emotions to herself. Especially at seeing how rattled Tony Stark had been. Of course, he had been his usual abrasive, sarcastic, funny self, but they could all tell something was different. Rhodey tried to help when he could, but was brushed off. Pepper does what she can when she stops by after being at Stark Industries all day, but generally the conversations always break down into work and what not to do or what to do with the direction of the company.

She's wanted to help too. She's always wanted to help.

But, does someone like Tony Stark need her help? Does a hero like Iron Man who can fight along side people from other realities, spies, massive shapeshifting men, and even the original super soldier need her help? She's was designed to be a support not an attacker to her squad. The squad that was deemed such a failure it caused the Goddess of Victory project to come to a close. The squad that had been forced apart in their mission that was supposed to redeem them and rewrite their ending. She couldn't even take the hand of her dearest friend when her friend needed it the most. How could someone like Tony ever really need her help in anything?

That was why the comments from the interviewer had rattled her so much. She doesn't want to be a failure or just another woman that Pepper takes out of the house one day. She wants to be helpful, to have a place she belongs, to be more the failure she had been labeled. She wants to be special like Pepper is to him. Not the exact same, as one can never truly replace another, but she wants to be apart of his life.

Maybe one day she can truly earn the title of "Goddess of Victory" to someone.

Tony doesn't need a Goddess of Victory. He's his own maker of victories.

Little Mermaid stops at one of the work tables.

Then, she leans over it slightly.

Tony is sitting on the floor, pressed against the work table, breathing heavily and shaking.

She bites her lip to keep from saying his name in relief that she found him. Instead, she carefully and quietly, tiptoes around the side of the work table. Then, she moves down to be on her knees. She hasn't moved to be exactly next to him. There is still plenty of space to give him room. Her eyes drop to his shaking hands before looking back up at his face in what she can make out in the darkness. The light from his arc reactor is dimmed through his shirts, but she can at least make the outline out in the darkness.

Slowly, one hand reaches out to rest beside him. She hesitates with her fingers curling slightly. He hasn't reached out to her--should she even reach out to him first? ]

... Tony? [ Little Mermaid speaks in a whisper as to try and not startle him.

The notion isn't hard. There had been a time when that was all she could speak in. ]

Comments

[bubblesong]

[ Little Mermaid simply gives him the brightest smile she can. Yes, just a "I've got your back." He has already given her more than any NIKKE could dream of having. A relationship where she is treated as a real human and a person, not only the super soldier weapon they were designed to be. He invited her into his life and home.

He even asked her to marry him in his unique "Tony way."

Why would she ever ask for anything more for her? She just wants him to be as happy as he has made her.

A giggle then. ] I don't think you'd like to see my bubbles to explode! But, they can.

[ Little Mermaid presses her forehead to his. Amber eyes lock onto him and the bright smile turns sweet. Endearing. ]

Maybe you don't hear static because you have a magnetic pull towards me? [ Her hand slips from his face to rest against the arc reactor for a brief moment. Then, she drapes her arms over his shoulders. ] We notice each other when no one else does.

[ A slight nod so she doesn't dislodge their position. ] Okay. I'll say it when you need to hear it most.

[doesntpaint]

Depends on if they're exploding in my general direction or not. Using them for some kind of crowd control? Sure, I could get behind that.

[ He pauses, locking eyes with hers with practiced ease. ]

Well, considering I’ve literally got a magnet in my chest, you might be onto something.

[ His gaze drops briefly to where her hand touches the reactor, and his voice lowers slightly. ]

But you’re right. Not a lot of people notice. Not like that.

[ He settles his arms loosely around her waist, while pressing his forehead more firmly to hers and letting his eyes close for a few seconds before they open again. ]

I'm gonna hold you to that, you know. Maybe you didn't sign a contract, but a verbal statement can be as good as one sometimes.

Although, fair warning, my definition of "need" includes mornings when the coffee's run out.

[bubblesong]

They can be used as my weapon too. [ Little Mermaid says it softly, almost like a secret. She knows "weapons" aren't the best subject with Tony anymore given the man he was in the past. But... she was created--converted--to be a super soldier. Her bubbles are just versatile. ] I could use them to help direct crowds! They wouldn't even need to explode then! They just... explode on contact if I use Spindrift as a weapon.

[ Her sweet smile remains. He was the one to originally say that was "their thing." She knows he hasn't forgotten it, and she figures that if he wants her to say "love" more often? Then, their personal definition for one another would be treated the same. She may say it too much though...

His eyes close and she feels as if she understands in that moment what he's reaching out and hoping to grasp physically. She would wonder if he has been starved of it and if Afghanistan has simply made it worse. Maybe she shouldn't read too much into it either. It's clear to her what he is looking for and she understands it deeply: a connection.

She was desperate for one as well. It had been part of the reason why she wanted to know him so much, help him with anything, prove that she was worth more than just what Stane thought she was. That she was a person, not just a soldier, and that she was on Tony's side. He saved her.

He was the only person that reached out to her like a person since Cinderella...

So, she presses her forehead to his with the same amount of firmness. Her hands turn to rest on the back of his head with fingers gently combing over his short hair. Any motion to try and physically show that his unspoken request has been heard and she will give it back to him freely. ]

It's not a contract! It's a promise. A promise has more weight than a contract ever could. [ A small nod against his forehead as if to reaffirm her statement. ] So, whenever you need to hear it, in any way.

[ Then, she giggles again. ] Then you might not make coffee one morning just to make sure I say it.

[doesntpaint]

So, what does a guy have to do to get you to let him study your bubbles? That's not a euphemism, by the way. [ Of course Tony's been out of the weapons business for a long time, but he likes to think that he hasn't lost touch with that side of him that loves inventing and designing things. Studying her bubbles and how they work feels like it would be exciting. ]

If I ever skip coffee, it won't be to manipulate you into saying it, just so we're on the same page. It'll be purely for dramatic effect. And you know me, I never do anything for dramatic effect. [ The smirk he's wearing should say that he's joking. Mostly. ] You get the thrill of delivering the line without me actually demanding it.

[ His voice drops a notch or two, lowering slightly, and some of his usual pointed tone drops off too. ]

A promise, huh? I like that better than a contract. Feels heavier. Feels real. It feels like us.

But fair warning, if I start calling you "my hon" every five seconds, you'll know who's to blame. And I'll make sure you hear it. Anytime, any way. No skipping, no tricks.

Though, if we're going full dramatic effect, you're technically the hero with the power to destroy things on contact while making it look good. I'm just here for the slow-motion dramatic entrance.

[bubblesong]

Hehe, he's already asked before. [ She decides teasing him won't be too much of a negative. ] I guess he just needs an opening in his schedule and we can start!

[ Little Mermaid has noticed the amount of different suits that are in the garage now. He's constantly upgrading them, but, this is different and she knows it. He isn't using them at all. Tony also isn't the sort of person to simply leave his suits on display for his ego--unless they are outdated ones. But, these new ones can't be outdated that quickly.

She smiles again. He has a flair for dramatics and she thinks he always has. Part of her wants to ask about how it was like growing up. What he was like before Afghanistan. Yet, she can't bring herself to do so. The lack of family pictures or really anything of his childhood on the walls paints enough of a picture for her. Little comments he's made like missing out on slumber parties. Maybe being dramatic has just been a way for him to fill that part of his life... or maybe she is simply over thinking it all.

The only things she has really noticed that come from the time before he was Iron Man are the robotic arms and JARVIS... and their stocking hanging by the fireplace. ]

You're never dramatic. [ She states it as if it's a fact, but the teasing tone in her voice certainly says otherwise. ] I might even say it while giving you coffee sometimes!

[ She knows it wouldn't be much of a surprise even if it sounds like it would be one. He may even get tired of hearing the words, or even how she uses the little key words he has used to describe things. He may even be tired of her one day. The day her bubbles stop being amazing or the day that someone else truly does catch his eye and he notices them. Of course, Tony may say that day would never happen. That doesn't stop those thoughts that come from the part of her that still feels lonely from time to time. She'll just have to keep telling herself it'll be okay. It's fine if those things happen.

Even when the rest of her hopes it never happens.

Her voice is softer than she means it to be: ] I'd like it if you called me that all the time.

[ She keeps her eyes closed, working on pushing all those doubts down below the surface. Tony is the one having the nightmares and the anxiety attacks. She'll be okay. She has been this long and so she'll keep being okay.

A shake of her head even as she keeps her forehead pressed to his. ] I'm not a hero. You're the hero. Even if you feel like you're nowhere near being one at the moment.

[doesntpaint]

[ Tony shifts slightly so he can get a good look at her without doing anything to disrupt their closeness. ]

You'd like me to call you that all the time, huh? Don't worry, I can manage that. Little Mermaid, caffeine, and constant reminders that I’m dramatic: sounds like a solid morning routine.

You're probably wondering about suits in the garage, right? Maybe I'm wrong, maybe you're not, but they're kind of the big elephant in the room. In every room. [ Maybe he's just blindly guessing. Maybe he actually isn't as good as she is at reading him. But he saw a certain look in her eye, and he's seen that look before. Not from her, but from someone who didn't really get how he was constantly designing, constantly building. ]

This isn't just any upgrade cycle. Those suits... I don't actually know what they're for; maybe they're for show. Maybe they're not. Maybe they're totally just for research purposes, nothing else.

[ Then he chuckles a dry laugh. ]

Never dramatic, huh? Guess that means I've been trying too hard. It's not the first time and it won't be the last. But you... You’re definitely the real hero here. Don't let me fool you, I've got tech and suits and ideas coming out of my ears, but you're the one dealing with the hard job here.

[ And yeah, he's implying that he's the one causing the most trouble these days. ] You're braver than anyone I know. Me? I just make a lot of noise and explosions. You? You actually make a difference. Every day. And you put up with me. That means something. Actually, several somethings.

[bubblesong]

[ Another nod. She'd very much like the small adoring nickname. He technically gave her the name "Ariel", but she doesn't see that as a nickname. It is her name. A real name! Just like how Cinderella, Hansel and Gretel had. A name someone can call her that is human and still holds the weight of being a Fairytale Model. Maybe he had originally meant as a joke, but, she embraced it full heartedly. ]

Ohhh... [ The gentle sound leaves her as confirmation. Yes, she has wondered about them. Not in the way he's worried about though. Her tone conveys a sense of worry, not annoyance. Concern, not a pre-made decision. ] If they're just for research, what happens when you've learned what you can?

[ Little Mermaid has the feeling they aren't for research in the traditional sense. He adjusts to look at her better and she tilts her head to the side to do the same. Tony's scared--he's already admitted to the emotion. He doesn't feel ready or prepared or able to take on what he's seen in space. The suits aren't just research to try and find a new way to improve and be ready. They're a project that he realizes isn't enough... so he makes another one. Then another one. And another.

At least, that is how she is seeing the sequence of events. The thought process behind it. The drive to keep building. He mentioned he used to "build things he enjoyed", but now...

Oh...

Her expression softens from concern to one of understanding. Her eyebrows knit and her eyes shift from reading him to expressing that she believes she knows what she was asking.

"You actually put up with me," "You make a difference every day."

Her expression softens further. A tiny bit of that loneliness she keeps boxed up shines through. It goes away a little bit at a time, day by day, now that she has someone to care for again. Someone to protect and make smile. A friend and a partner. But, it'll take time. Decades don't disappear in a year... and she has a feeling he knows that better than most people. ]

Tony. [ One hand cups his cheek while the other moves to rest his against her chest, palm pressed against her core. Then, it moves to cup the other cheek. ] I don't know what it's like to invite so many people into your life... and them not stay. I don't know what it's like to even know that many people! But, I do know what it's like to be lonely. So lonely that it feels like if you don't make something... that loneliness will devour you. That there might be nothing left if someone ever does find you.

I'm not going to leave because you make a lot of suits. You ARE Iron Man. They're apart of you, like my bubbles are apart of me. If I seem like I'm judging or looking at them weirdly? I'm just worried. I'm concerned. Not that you're building or designing or inventing. I'm worried that you're not okay. That you're just building with no plan or goal in mind. Because, that's not you.

I just want to make sure you know what you want to do... and how you want me to help.

[ As if to further demonstrate her point? She sits in his lap, legs straddling his hips. She's not going anywhere and neither is he. They're in this together. ]

[doesntpaint]

[ Tony just looks at her as she puts one hand on his cheek, his usual stream of quips silenced for once. She’s hitting closer to home than he's used to, and maybe even closer than he's comfortable with; but then again, when was the last time someone tried to get past the walls he's built in an attempt to actually find him? He's not used to someone who can see what the compulsion to build means, or that he's afraid that the second he stops, everything around him just collapses. He's definitely not used to feeling this disarmed, but weirdly, he doesn't hate it. ]

Most people see the suits and think I'm just building cool things or overcompensating for something, or my personal favorite: a giant midlife crisis in red and gold. You see something else entirely.

[ And part of him still wonders why the hell she'd ever find that attractive. ]

You know, I'd never admit anything like this to anyone, but- you're not just anyone, Ariel. And damn it, I shouldn't have- Snapped. Gotten angry. Whatever the hell that was. But you’re not wrong. It’s not research, not really. It kind of stopped being research, I don't know, six months ago. A year. Something. Whatever time is anymore.

[ He'd scrub his face but he'd have to move to do it. ] It's me throwing metal at the sky because I don't ever want to feel... [ He trails off, because there's some things he's not ready to admit. Maybe there's a limit to how vulnerable he wants to be. ] And yeah, I've built so many that even I've lost count, but you know what? When you put my hand here...

[ He presses his palm against her core where she guided him earlier, then glances at the glow of the arc reactor between them. ]

It's like, for the first time in a long time, I don't feel like I’m floundering. I don't feel like I'm one wrong move from drowning, even if, realistically, I probably still am. In way over my head, you know. But when you do that, it feels like I can actually breathe. Sleep, even. I may not feel ready, but with you here, I don’t feel like I have to keep pretending I am. And hell, I know it's not going to be that easy; all this stuff isn't just going away because we have a connection. But even if it goes away for an hour, maybe two hours? That's something I didn't have before, you know what I mean?

[ He raises his other hand to thread his fingers gently through her hair, letting it fall between them. ]

[bubblesong]

[ Little Mermaid smiles at him as if to say 'What I see is you!'

She knows he loves to build, create, construct things. It's not simply because he has told her. It's the little things! How he treats JARVIS like a human. How he talks to his robotic arm friends as not creations or tools, but also people as well. How he spends hours pouring over minute details that would hardly matter to anyone other than him. How he cares so much about what his technology and creations do that he turned his entire company around. He turned himself around. Those things speak louder than if he had simply told her he was an engineer and that he loved to build. ]

It was about six months ago...

[ It hasn't even been a year since they met, let alone a year since the Battle of New York.

Still, she gives a firm nod. He doesn't need to open up and be vulnerable in words. She understands what he means by what he had said hours ago in the workshop. He doesn't feel safe. He doesn't feel as if he has the power or ability to fight what he had seen on the other side of the wormhole. It isn't just what happened in New York.

It's Afghanistan. The cave. What happened to his friend Yinsen.

She doesn't have the details, and she wouldn't expect Tony to truly tell her or give them to her even if she asked. Some would say that the Tony Stark that was captured in Afghanistan never came home. Little Mermaid disagrees with the idea. While she never met Tony before his kidnapping? She feels as if the Tony she sees in front of her right now is the real Tony Stark. What got stripped away in Afghanistan was what the public always believed was Tony Stark. He simply became...

Oh.

That's it, isn't it?

A loving smile shows on her face. Her fingertips brush down the back of his hand placed at her core. She gives another firm nod. ] Yes. I do know what you mean. It doesn't go away, but it's easier to live with when someone wants to hold your hand.

[ Her eyes close and her head tilts towards his hand, attempting to encourage him to touch her hair all he wants. Especially if it helps calm him down and center him. He often talks about how long her hair is and how she has so much of it. If he wants to know what it's like? He can touch it! It's okay. ]

I know it's not the same, but... [ Little Mermaid pauses, searching for the best words to describe the emotions and thoughts she has put together. What she thinks she has pieced together that is the puzzle of Tony Stark. Now, he can correct her if she's wrong. ] I wasn't the same person I was when Stane put me in containment. I would probably seem like I was, but, over time? I stopped being happy. There were times I lost hope that anyone would find me. I sent bubbles to find Abe and Cinderella, to bring them to me, but none of them ever reached them.... so, I just continued to exist. Making things out of bubbles to amuse myself and to help keep me from feeling how truly lonely I became.

I was always lonely to some degree. The other members of my squad could talk and share their feelings without the fear of hurting someone. There were times I had accidentally used the kotodama and scared them away. They eventually learned how to understand my sounds, but... it wasn't the same as talking. Expressing myself in the language everyone else could use but me.

[ She looks down for a moment with a sad expression, but it melts away the moment she looks back up at Tony. That loving smile returns to her face. As if he's the only thing in her world. Not just her hero, but her friend, her partner, and the person she loves the most. ]

I came out of my cave as 'Ariel.' You came out of yours as 'Iron Man.' That's why you are Iron Man. You were hammered and chipped away at, but, it didn't break you! It refined you into the better version of who you really are. Maybe the world can't see that, because they're blinded by who you showed them before, but I see it as clear as day. Iron Man isn't the suits that are apart of you--it's you.

[doesntpaint]

[ He listens, actually really listens, and it's in the way he rarely lets himself anymore. No quips, no clever deflection, just the slow, careful attention of a man who knows what it's like to be reshaped by a furnace and somehow come out recognizably himself. Her words land like something he's been trying to say to himself for years, only cleaner, kinder, and far more devastatingly honest than he ever manages. ]

"You see me", huh? That's the best thing anyone's said to me in a long time. Want to know why? Because it's not just words. It's not a platitude. I know you, and I know you mean it. 100%.

[ He lets his forehead rest against hers, eyes half-closed. The arc reactor hums between them like punctuation. For once he doesn't try to polish the moment with a joke; he just lets this be itself, lets it be real. ]

You're right. The cave changed me; so did a hundred little caves after that too. But it didn't take me out or take the me out of the equation. It just left me with a lot of work to do, and the work's easier when someone's holding your hand.

[ He slides a careful hand up to touch the side of her face while his other hand lightly ghosts over hers. ]

And you came out of your own hell and became Ariel. You didn't lose yourself. You became someone who can remake the world with bubbles and stubbornness and a weird, impossible... [ He searches for a word to finish that sentence and finds he's not exactly sure where that was going, but he goes on ahead anyway. ] That's not less than human. That's heroic in a way the world doesn’t always notice. [ And he knows a thing or two about the world not always noticing things.

A crooked, small smile tugs at him, because him and sentiment is complicated, but he can't stop the truth from spilling out. ]

[bubblesong]

[ The loving smile spreads on her face. It makes her heart flutter to know that he truly does know her beyond the bubbles and things that make her a NIKKE. Tony rarely says what he feels, and knowing that he feels as if she truly is genuine means so much to her. Tony exists in a world of business and people constantly wanting things from him: money, power, fame, favors, technology. She doesn't want any of those things. If anything? She wants to be in his world and be with the real Tony Stark.

Hot mess, suits and robots. All of it.

She leans her cheek into his hand to encourage him. It's okay to touch her! She won't break. She's strong and sturdy.

The smile on her face turns slightly bashful. What she doesn't say in words is that she wanted to become "Ariel" for him. The world doesn't need NIKKEs anymore. They have super heroes! But, she thinks, that maybe Tony needs someone at his side. Someone that can move with his jokes and build with him. A person that he can show to the world, but will still be on his side when the world tests him. She'll face the nervousness she has of the world seeing her in order to be the person she thinks he needs.

Her eyes close and she presses her forehead against his just a little more. ]

I don't think I need to remake the world with bubbles. [ A pause. ] Maybe just someone's world. Something that brings back something soft and nostalgic when the world constantly pounds on him to tear him down... and he keeps building himself back up.

[doesntpaint]

[ Tony lets out a long breath then, letting the weight of everything he's been carrying settle just enough for him to actually hear what she's saying. She's seen the smile he only puts on for her, or when he's feeling particularly at ease and not so much like he has to put on a show. ]

You know, that's all I’ve ever wanted, really. Maybe not at the start of all this; maybe I wanted to go after some big idea to remake the world or something like that, but maybe that's not what I want anymore. Maybe all I want is this: just somewhere in the world that's ours. Even if it's full of too much stuff like suits and machines and a guy who can't stop talking sometimes... as long as it's got you in it? That's enough.

And... Ariel? You really don't have to be anyone but you, you know that? All the bubbles, all the magic, because hell, it might as well be magic. It's incredible, yeah, but it's not the only thing that matters. What matters is that you're here, and you're real, and you're you.

[ He shifts slightly closer, resting his forehead lightly against hers, letting himself stay there, choosing to just let the two of them have this, ignoring anything that might be going on outside so that they can just have a moment together. One of many moments, he hopes. ]