Yeah. The Hiss. [ A pause. ] I couldn't save everyone.
[ « I couldn't save most of them. »
She nods to his next question. It's more that Jesse finds Bright Falls special on a personal level. She has to be involved. Just like it was her mess to clean up from the events of Ordinary. Her involvement for both AWEs may scale differently, but, it doesn't change the fact she was present for both of them. She has to finish things. Put a bookend on it.
« I was just hoping that I could with Alan, then we could... maybe I shouldn't have held onto dreams for so long. »
Jesse falls quiet as she watches him. Listens to what he says. He's saying things, but she can tell there's something missing. The little annotations or ways he'd phrase things when talking to her specifically. If he really can't remember her? It all makes sense. She understands. She really does. After seeing what she has in the Oldest House? Seeing reports from several agents about thresholds? Everything Alan is going through makes sense.
That doesn't stop the familiar sense of loneliness from gripping her heart.
« ... that's all? Just, "thanks." After all these years of waiting and trying to find him... »
She's not angry or even dismissive. If anything, it's the one word she had tried for years to ignore using. She thought it would be like when they reunited in that town in Arizona. Emotional. A homecoming. Then again, she also thought that reuniting with Dylan would be filled with apologies and the chance to talk and explain herself. That's not how it turned out at all. None of it was. None of this turned out like she thought it would.
Her gaze drops from his to the floor. There's no look of disappointment, or anger, or hurt in her expression. Her expression remains perfectly still save for her downwards tilted eyes. Loneliness. Longing. The word she doesn't want to even think of: heartbreak.
« It's like a monkey's paw. I wished for Alan to come home. He came home... but, without the thing that meant the most...
Does he remember everything about Alice? » ]
You're welcome. [ Her tone is quiet, but not withdrawn or defensive. Small. Something bordering on vulnerable. ] My management team probably didn't like it. Not that they ever like me on the front lines.
[ As for his other question? Jesse hesitates. Then, she reaches for the gray clipboard container she had earlier. Her eyes are still pointed down as she pops it open and pulls out an assortment of papers. Papers that have mud and dirt on them. Weirdly shaped imprints of familiar black solid shadows.
Handwritten edits.
She holds them up for him to take, only quickly glancing at him before trying to hide her emotions once more. ] ... I thought maybe you could tell me. We found these in the Sheriff's Office... and the FBI's field office. I thought, maybe, you'd need my help again. But, maybe you don't. Agent Anderson is in the manuscript pages.
no subject
[ « I couldn't save most of them. »
She nods to his next question. It's more that Jesse finds Bright Falls special on a personal level. She has to be involved. Just like it was her mess to clean up from the events of Ordinary. Her involvement for both AWEs may scale differently, but, it doesn't change the fact she was present for both of them. She has to finish things. Put a bookend on it.
« I was just hoping that I could with Alan, then we could... maybe I shouldn't have held onto dreams for so long. »
Jesse falls quiet as she watches him. Listens to what he says. He's saying things, but she can tell there's something missing. The little annotations or ways he'd phrase things when talking to her specifically. If he really can't remember her? It all makes sense. She understands. She really does. After seeing what she has in the Oldest House? Seeing reports from several agents about thresholds? Everything Alan is going through makes sense.
That doesn't stop the familiar sense of loneliness from gripping her heart.
« ... that's all? Just, "thanks." After all these years of waiting and trying to find him... »
She's not angry or even dismissive. If anything, it's the one word she had tried for years to ignore using. She thought it would be like when they reunited in that town in Arizona. Emotional. A homecoming. Then again, she also thought that reuniting with Dylan would be filled with apologies and the chance to talk and explain herself. That's not how it turned out at all. None of it was. None of this turned out like she thought it would.
Her gaze drops from his to the floor. There's no look of disappointment, or anger, or hurt in her expression. Her expression remains perfectly still save for her downwards tilted eyes. Loneliness. Longing. The word she doesn't want to even think of: heartbreak.
« It's like a monkey's paw. I wished for Alan to come home. He came home... but, without the thing that meant the most...
Does he remember everything about Alice? » ]
You're welcome. [ Her tone is quiet, but not withdrawn or defensive. Small. Something bordering on vulnerable. ] My management team probably didn't like it. Not that they ever like me on the front lines.
[ As for his other question? Jesse hesitates. Then, she reaches for the gray clipboard container she had earlier. Her eyes are still pointed down as she pops it open and pulls out an assortment of papers. Papers that have mud and dirt on them. Weirdly shaped imprints of familiar black solid shadows.
Handwritten edits.
She holds them up for him to take, only quickly glancing at him before trying to hide her emotions once more. ] ... I thought maybe you could tell me. We found these in the Sheriff's Office... and the FBI's field office. I thought, maybe, you'd need my help again. But, maybe you don't. Agent Anderson is in the manuscript pages.
[ « Like we used to be. » ]