synthneon | oceanview || ❝ two worlds colliding, there ain't no bargaining. ❞

[ Beth remains silent. Her gaze shifts between the two Alan Wakes. Body posture stiffens. Alert. She knows her husband would rather have nothing to do with her, the weirdness in the world. All this will do is upset and push him away further. She's sure of that fact.

Yet the Spiral Door closed behind her and she's sure that it won't open if she tries to leave. Her eyes dart back to the Writer who seems to be far more in charge of his powers and what he can do than her own husband. ]

What the hell is all this, Alan? [ A hand raises and gestures to the two of them. ] An intervention?

[ An intervention that won't mean anything. ]

[ Alan finds himself hesitating, because when he said that he wished he could talk to Beth's Alan, he didn't mean he wanted something like this to happen. How did this happen anyway? Did he inadvertently nudge reality in such a way that brought the three of them to this room? The idea that he could do something like this unknowingly scares him more than he wants to admit. ]

I don't know. I didn't do this on purpose. [ He looks around the room once before glancing back at Beth, knowing how that sounds and knowing how she most likely won't believe him. ] I never thought I'd be back in this room, or that anyone else would be here with me.

[ At least this isn't the Dark Place, right? This is just the Writer's Room, and this is a dream the three of them are having. He's not sure how the Writer's Room can exist independently of the Dark Place, but maybe that's something else he was able to make happen somehow. ]

All I wanted was for the two of you to talk. Talk, and fix what's gone wrong, if you can.

[ Her eyes narrow slightly at the phrasing. "Be back in this room"? So, the other Alan knows where they're at. It looks... old. Quaint. Something you'd see in the Pacific Northwest. She glances around it quickly to take in notes of her surroundings. A chalkboard filled with notes and papers. A old CTR television. An old boombox. A... creepy owl that she feels might actually be watching their every move.

Beth looks back at the pair of Alans. Talk. Her gaze drops and a similar expression to Alan's partner crosses her face. After all, Beth and Jesse are the same person at their core. Defensive walls are in place. Acceptance of a certain reality and walking herself off because of it. Telltale signs of the red headed woman that Alan knows and loves very much. ]

Is there anything to talk about? [ Her shoulders squares and she hides the vulnerability in her gaze. ] I think stances have been pretty well shared.

[ Alan's not particularly at ease being in this room again, but then again, he supposes that he's in pretty good company. Beth doesn't look happy to be here, and well, her Alan seems to be pretty occupied in doing anything but looking at Beth. Or at him, for that matter, not that he can really blame him for that. ]

Well, yeah, I think there is. Maybe I'm wrong, but are either of you really happy with how things are?

[ He wants to say more, but he figures if he jumps in headfirst, all he'll do is drive them further apart and make both of them angry at him in the process. ]

[ Beth nearly shouts her answer. Of course she isn't happy. Why would she be happy? How could any of this make someone happy? Unless, somehow, Alan had already moved on. If he found someone else that was normal to love. Her gaze drops once more before raising it to the pair of men in the room. ]

No.

[ He can't even look at me. Maybe he really is happier without me. He ran away to... wherever this is to be separated from me. ]

Does it matter?

[ Alan startles when Beth all but shouts her response; his hands clench involuntarily into fists as if reacting to the sudden noise and the sudden almost anger that he hears in her voice. Of course he isn't going to lash out, but he'd be lying if he said that her response took him by surprise.

Instead of immediately answering, he turns to look at the other man in the room: her Alan, the one who, for whatever reason, is refusing to deal with the situation at hand. He's refusing to take the steps to save their marriage. And that is one thing that bothers Alan more than he'd like to admit.

Beth's Alan, in the meantime, feeling the other Alan's eyes on him and staring at Beth in the aftermath of her outburst, shifts one foot awkwardly against the ground. He doesn't like this any more than the other two do, but unlike them, he actually has to figure out what he's going to do about the situation that he caused. ]

... Of course it matters.

[ Beth's gaze immediately jumps to her Alan's. She stares him down, but not in anger. There's a level of vulnerability that shines in her eyes. ]

Then, tell me what you want me to do. You want me to leave? I can do that. You want to leave back to New York? Then, you should. If being there makes you happier then you should do it. We're not--we're not even living together, let alone being married. If you've had a change of heart and have fallen in love with someone else? Go to her.

[ Just, stop making me think there's a chance to fix this when there isn't.

Beth feels a familiar shift around her. That calming sense of kinship that has always echoed back in her mind. A bell like sound. Beth glances to the side and frowns. Her "friend" hasn't been in contact with her for some time. Almost to the point she figured the "friend" had been a figment of her imagination at one point. Why is she here now? ]

[ Beth's words seem to break over Alan and he tries but doesn't quite manage to stop himself from flinching as if he's just been struck. His gaze lowers and he finds himself unable to look at her. That doesn't stop him from responding, however. ]

No, I don't want you to leave. I don't want to go back to New York. [ His hands curl into fists and tension forms in his shoulders. ]

I want... [ His words trail off and he doesn't finish the sentence, maybe because he doesn't know how to. He knows what he wants to say, but saying it and thinking it are two different things. ]

I'm not in love with someone else, because I've always... only been in love with you.

[ Except he hasn't exactly been showing it, and he knows it. He knows she most likely won't believe a thing he says, and why should she? ]

[ Frustration is clear on her face. From her friend suddenly returning to what her Alan is saying. All of it just leads to the question of "Why NOW?" in her mind. Not that she shares this with either party. She doesn't really need to vocalize it when it's clear on her face. ]

I know I'm not good at showing any of this--being in relationships. But, NONE of this shows what you're saying. None of it. You'll talk to Barry--to Alice--more than me. [ Her hands jump up in frustration. ] Just tell me what the hell I did wrong instead of treating me like I'm a stranger. If that's all I am? I should move to that promotion to New York City.

[ « I don't want to live near Alice. » ]

Edited 2025-03-20 19:58 (UTC)

[ Alan looks away from Beth for a moment, trying to hide the look of guilt that suddenly falls into place. He's screwed up and he knows it; he knows that he loves Beth, but he made a huge mess of everything about their relationship, and until now, he's avoided doing anything to fix it.

Maybe there was a part of him, a really dark part of him, that didn't want to fix it. But the part of him that loves Beth more than anything and hates himself for messing up so badly has to try and fix this before it's too late.

... If it's not too late already. ]

Look, Beth, I screwed up. No, I really screwed up. Hell, I'd blame the writing and the fame and whatever, but I know that's not it. [ He stares at the floor, suddenly afraid to look at her. ]

I wouldn't blame you if you left for that promotion.

[ Her shoulders square. Eyes narrow slightly. He's dodging her questions again--like he does when he doesn't want to admit something to her. Except this isn't just something. This is their marriage. ]

I don't care that you screwed up. [ The hand with the wedding ring raises and she points to herself. ] What did I do wrong?! What did me or my job or anything in Bright Falls make this happen?! You can't tell me, can you? You could tell Barry. Or Alice. But not me. So, why did both of you drag me here?!

[ The Master of Many Worlds feels a touch to his arm then. The Alan from another world finds that he is suddenly not alone in watching from the back of the Writer's Room. The woman he met earlier stands beside him. Blue pleated skirt with the FBC jacket over her frame. Her blue eyes raise to him with a tilt of her head, frayed bob brushing against her jawbone. A nod to the two arguing before she leans against the desk he once used. Her arms cross. ]

[ He is dodging the question and he knows it, but he feels like he has a reason for it. She may not understand the reason, and she certainly won't like it, but he knows why he's doing all this, and it's his fault. It never was her fault; it's always been his, and he feels like an idiot because of it. ]

You didn't do anything wrong; I'm telling you, all of this is my fault. I- you can do things. Sense things. You can do that because there's something about you, something that other people don't have.

I can see it sometimes, when I'm looking at you. Well, it's not seeing, but I can hear something or feel something and I know it's not always you that I'm looking at.

[ It took a long time for Alan to figure out what it was that left him so unsettled when he looked at Beth; it wasn't every time, only sometimes, but he always felt... scared. And he didn't like that feeling. He didn't like looking at Beth and feeling like someone else was looking back at him. He didn't like feeling that maybe that something inside her, even if it was something special and important to her, would be the thing that took her away from him. Maybe at the center of it all, he was afraid that whatever that something was, it would be the reason she went away for good. Forever. And he wouldn't be able to bring her back.

It's silly and stupid and he knows that pushing her away wasn't the answer. Sure, whatever she's wrapped up in might be dangerous, but- maybe that thing that's inside her or part of her or whatever is also the thing that will protect her. I can't protect her, but maybe it can.

With that realization also comes something else he doesn't want to face: the possibililty that she doesn't need him. ]

And since you asked, no, I didn't tell Barry or Alice. They wouldn't understand; hell, you probably don't understand.

[ I don't want to lose her, but I'm going to, aren't I? Well, it's deserved.

Alan, meanwhile, the Alan who wasn't content to just let any version of himself and Jesse fall apart like this, watches the scene in front of him, and then turns slightly when he feels a light touch on his arm. His eyebrows lift in surprise, but actually, he's really not that surprised at all. He'd ask what she's doing here, but he doesn't want to disturb the events unfolding in front of them.

Still, the look he gives her has an amused sort of question in it. So, did you have a hand in this too? ]

[ Beth freezes. The anger and frustration turn into a mild look of fear. she feels everything run cold in her. Her "friend" has hardly been around... she only reached out more once their marriage started to fall apart. The connection hasn't been very strong. Something in Bright Falls blocks her. Beth always figured it was the lake.

« He can see you? I thought--I thought he didn't pay attention to anything he SAW. Is that why you're reaching out now? Because Alan knows you're there? Where are we? What the hell is going on?!

...

What does he think of me now that he knows...? » ]

... you can see her?

[ Beth suddenly feels like she did when they first met at the clinic all those years ago. Defensive--wanting to curl up and hide. He's seen a part of her that she's kept hidden even from the Bureau.

« If they knew? They'd take me away from Alan. It WOULDN'T be a promotion. It would be a relocation to the Oldest House. They'd study me to get to YOU. » ]

You... you knew? [ Her voice grows defensive. Scared. A step back is taken almost as if she's worried he'll react like everyone else always reacted her entire life. ] When--when did you know?

[ « Why didn't he ask? »

The woman named Elizabeth shakes her head to the Master of Many World's unsaid question. No, she had no hand in this door. It was one of many she passed through in an attempt to find him. Not that such a complicated statement could be put into a look. No. This situation was Alan's own finding. One found while the other reached out to run away.

She then raises her hand and gestures to the two arguing. He may wish to step in now. The Master of Many Worlds has insight he can give. Doesn't he? ]

[ The look of mild fear in Beth's eyes is reflected back in Alan's. He somehow sensed Polaris, not that he knew that was her name, and he didn't understand how he was sensing her or what he was even seeing. Part of him reasoned that something was protecting Beth, but the other part of him, the part of him that didn't want to admit that the world was full of other things was afraid. What if something was taking over Beth? What if it was soemething bad?

Maybe he couldn't really see Polaris in their world, but here... wherever "here" is works differently. Maybe. He doesn't understand where they are any more than Beth does. ]

I couldn't before, but I can now. Is it because of him? [ He stares pointedly at the other man who shares his face; that's another thing he doesn't understand and doesn't like. Who the hell is he, anyway? ]

I suspected; I didn't always know. How was I supposed to bring it up to ask you about it? I wanted to ask you about it, don't get me wrong. But- you would have called me crazy, wouldn't you? Would you have told me the truth, whatever that is?

[ He looks like he wants to pull on his own hair in confusion and lack of understanding and a touch of frustration. ]

It was a few months ago, probably. [ Maybe more than a few, if he's being honest. ] I came home and you were on the porch, and I thought I heard you talking, but no one was there.

[ Alan watches this unfold even as he glances sidelong at Elizabeth. Apparently she still needs something from him, or she wouldn't be here now. The look she gives him suggests she thinks he should step in, but should he? What can he do for the couple in front of them?

Maybe they should keep talking things out for a little while longer. ]

[ Beth glances at the other Alan when her own points him out. She knows this whole thing isn't because of him. Her Alan has always been able to see things to an extent. Maybe his abilities were growing and that's why he sensed Polaris more. Now that he's been exposed to a Threshold... ]

You think I'd call you crazy? Did you forget how we met? You saved me from the Shaded Individuals. I went head first out to prove they existed. You brought me back. Why would I call you crazy just because you started to ask about the world?

[ « I'd be surprised. Shocked he even gave it all consideration. »

She feels Polaris shift again.

Her gaze drops. She looks away. A bitter frown touches her face. ]

Things are just going to get weirder if you can see her. If you don't want any part of it? Then, maybe I do need to leave. We should both leave Cauldron Lake. You could go somewhere like Arizona.

[ « I'd... we'd have to go to New York. HQ would have to meet you. I'd probably never be able to leave the Oldest House. »

Elizabeth crosses her arms and simply watches the exchange. It certainly doesn't seem to be going in a direction either Alan nor the Writer would prefer. Still, she's an observer. That's just what she does. She's only involved in what she is because of another Alan... what a mess. ]

Yeah, I think you'd call me crazy. Not because of that, but because- [ He shakes his head and his frown deepens. ] Look, I don't know how to handle this, okay? Crazy shadow people running around in the woods, in town... People I can't see but are there. What do you even call her? She's not a person, but she's... something.

[ He rubs his eyes with both hands because this is all a lot for him to try and make sense of. ] I think you'd call me crazy because I spent so long pretending I didn't see things, and- I guess I can see things and I can't pretend anymore, can I?

[ To Alan, he thinks he sounds crazy. And what's crazier is the realization that he's actually trying to make heads or tails of this crazy world they're both in. ]

I don't- I don't want you to leave. [ He might not know very much, and he might not have answers to his questions, but he knows one thing: ] I don't want you to leave by yourself.

[ He's sure that Beth is going to wonder where this sudden change in attitude is coming from, and while he's not looking at the other Alan, the expression on his face is one wondering the same thing.

Maybe Alan never wanted to be apart from Beth. Maybe all the weirdness scared him at first, but maybe he realized that he could deal with a little weirdness if it meant getting to stay with her. ]

If you leave Cauldron Lake, I'm going with you.

Polaris. [ Beth answers immediately, quietly, more like a child who has been caught with her hand in a cookie jar. ] Her name is Polaris. She's a friend.

[ « And probably the reason why whatever is in the Lake hasn't done anything to Alan. Or me. Aren't you? »

Polaris shifts around her in confirmation. ]

I wouldn't have called you crazy. Just... wondering why suddenly you believed it. [ Her gaze drops to the side. ] Yes, you've been able to see things.

[ « Things that have saved people's lives. I don't think he'd react well to that. Knowing that there's been things he's said or told me in his dreams I've had to report to the Buearu. He won't trust me anymore and maybe that's fair. »

Beth simply raises her eyes to the Alan who does admit to all of the weirdness. The Alan that she has the feeling this weird room belongs to. Her gaze settles on Elizabeth. She frowns. What the hell is she doing here?

What the hell is going on? ]

Maybe we should of left Bright Falls a long time ago.

[ Elizabeth sighs then. ] Leaving Bright Falls won't stop what's going on with Alan. It doesn't matter where the two of you go. You can ask him. [ A hand gestures to the one sitting beside her. ] He's been through it, you know.

Polaris. All right. [ Something about the name just makes him feel... relieved without really understanding why. There's an undercurrent of not trusting any of this, but even though he still has a long way to go towards believing in the unknown, much less trusting someone like Polaris... the fact that Beth isn't running away from it helps somehow. ] If you say she's a friend, I'll believe you. [ I guess. What choice do I really have? I want to fix what I messed up, and I can't do that if I don't accept this as what it is. ]

I guess I sort of believe in it, because- I don't know. [ He pauses. ] I believe you more, though, if that makes sense. [ It probably doesn't. ]

So what does that mean, that I can see things? What does that mean for us? Should we leave Bright Falls?

[ He looks at Beth for an answer, but the other person in the room speaks up first. ]

What the hell does that mean? This stuff is just going to follow us- follow me everywhere? [ He finds himself glaring at the other Alan as if somehow blaming him for this. ] Should Beth leave, then?

[ The other Alan standing next to Elizabeth shakes his head, crossing his arms as he thinks about the situation in front of him. ] She could, but something tells me she won't. [ He levels a look of apology in Beth's direction. ] Besides, I don't think you really want her to go.

[ Beth looks down again. It isn't hard to catch that undercurrent in Alan's tone. Not that she expected him to immediately believe her and consider Polaris a friend or ally. Still, it somehow makes her want to box everything she has just exposed back up and never speak of it again. Defense mechanisms she thought she left behind when she was married and had someone who wanted to spend the rest of their life with her. ]

She's not... always here. [ She tentatively tries to explain once more. ] It's been awhile since I heard from her.

I don't know what it means for you, Alan. I can't guess when this is the firs time...

[ Beth falls quiet despite the questions and the discussion on what she'll do. What does it matter what she does? This is Alan's path they're talking about. Not hers. She only stayed in Bright Falls because it was where Alan wanted to be... and because she could protect her home town. Though, it seems that isn't really needed anymore. not with the Bureau being there as they are.

Elizabeth sighs and pushes herself from the desk. She takes a few steps forward before dramatically gesturing with her arms to the two Alans. ] Your powers are YOURS, Alan. You can't run away from something that is naturally apart of you. Not thinking about it is simply ignoring it: not running away from it all. You see things from other places in time and space. Peoples lives. You always have, haven't you? HE has.

Edited 2025-04-22 23:47 (UTC)

[ That surprises him, for some reason. He just figured that Beth and Polaris were part and parcel, never really apart. He's not even sure how he knows that; maybe it's some kind of deduction that part of him thinks he shouldn't have. ]

Does she do that a lot? Leave, I mean?

[ But then Alan flinches slightly under the weight of Elizabeth's words. He doesn't normally react like that, but there was some strange kind of power or energy or what the hell ever behind it. He doesn't really like it, but there's a hell of a lot of things he doesn't like.

He lets out a breath and rubs the back of his neck. His gaze travels first to Beth, then to the other him, then back to Elizabeth. ]

If they're mine, why don't they feel like mine? Is it because I didn't ask for any of this? Let me guess: I have to figure that out for myself.

[ The other Alan decided his role here was to just observe, not talk. That's fine with him, really, given how he does nothing but talk sometimes. But he feels a pointed look from Elizabeth landing on him, and he figure he better say something or she'll jab him with her elbow or something. ]

I think... Trying to is enough. Putting in the effort. [ He glances at Beth. ] I think people can surprise you; you just have to ask for help sometimes.

oceanview || ❝ two worlds colliding, there ain't no bargaining. ❞

OCEANVIEW PATHS

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject